


You Think That I Don’t Notice, But I Do

by Painted_memories182



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Blake & Lincoln Friendship, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy Friendship, Established Octavia Blake/Lincoln, F/M, Gen, Grounder Bellamy Blake, Grounder Octavia Blake, I Don't Even Know, Rewrite, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, The 100 (TV) Season 1, The 100 (TV) Season 2, The 100 (TV) Season 3, The 100 (TV) Season 4, The 100 (TV) Season 5
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2020-06-30 12:28:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 33
Words: 196,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19853191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Painted_memories182/pseuds/Painted_memories182
Summary: A reimagining of the 100 while still trying to keep inline with the actual story.Clarke is once again the sky princess sent down to earth for a crime she didn’t have a chance to commit. Trying to save her people from the terrible stuff earth and the people who inhabit it throw at them.Heda Blake has set his sights on the girl with the golden hair that keeps defying his every expectation.Starts in season one story line.





	1. Yeah It’s Been a Hard Year, You Say That I Don’t Hear All The Words You’re Saying

The sound of metal as it rattled when the thrusters engaged was what roused Clarke from her drug induced sleep. Her blonde hair fell heavy across her face as she blinked rapidly to try and clear the fog from her vision. Her ice blue eyes tried to scan the room to come up with a conclusion of what was happening, the confusion written in heavy lines across her drowsy face. 

The sound of her name being repeated from a familiar voice chased the haze further from her head. Her bright eyes coming further into focus with every repetition of her name. 

“CLARKE!” Wells’ voice was tinged with anxiety. “Hey, look at me. Look at me, Clarke!” 

Her weary eyes turned towards her best friend, the confusion clearing as a grateful flush came over her as her eyes locked on a familiar face in the crowd. One that she hadn’t seen in about a year. 

“Hey, Clarke.” His tone was noticeably less anxious than it had just been. His smile soft on his full lips at her hesitant smile in his direction. 

The lazy smile stayed on her lips for a moment longer until the realization of why she hadn’t seen him or anyone else for the better part of a year, broke through the fog. That fact pulled her sluggish brain from the last dredges of the sedative, wilting any kind feelings for the man beside her; Her former best friend.

“What are you doing here Wells?”

“I came here for you,” he shifted as far in her direction as his restraints would allow. “I got myself put in lock up so I could go with you. I couldn’t let you go to Earth on your own. Not with a bunch of criminals!”

“That’s rich.” She scoffed, leaning further away from him. The heat in her voice rose with every syllable that passed her lips, “I’m the worst criminal of them all. Don’t you remember? I mean after they floated my father, that is, there was no one worse than me. That’s why I lost everything. I guess that’ll teach me to trust anyone, ever again.”

“You’re not… I- I didn’t… It wasn’t me.” he whispered. The words pounded against her ears, despite the sound of metal being violently ripped away from the drop ship as they hurtled through the atmosphere.

“If it wasn’t you, then who could it have possibly have bee-” She cut herself off as the shame became deeper in the lines of his face and his body curled into itself. “My mother?”

At his pained nod, her slight frame slumped backwards into the seat behind her. “Of freaking course, it was her,” A bitter laugh tore its way out of her mouth. “How did I miss that? Can’t have anyone set one foot out of line.” 

She shot forward in the restraining harness as her face paled, the sorrow and disbelief creased her forehead and pinched at her eyes. “Oh God, Wells. I was so awful to you! How can you ever forgive me?” 

“There is nothing to forgive, Clarke. I let you blame me because you needed your mom. I couldn’t be the reason you lost both of your parents all in one go.” 

“But I needed you...” She was cut off as they were slammed back to their seats. As the parachute deployed, it rocked the drop ship back and forth and the kids that had been out of their seats were thrown around the cabin like nothing more than rag dolls. The screams of the other people finally filtered into Clarke’s brain as the spell was broken between them, the last after-effect of the sedative was still holding firm into her brain. The lights in the cabin flickered off and on until finally cutting off one last time with the concussion of the landing on the ground. 

The people - no kids- around her started unbuckling, she hurried to follow suit before someone did something stupid, like open the doors without taking a moment to think. Rushing to the lower deck she saw someone about to do just that. His cocky attitude swelled around him as he brushed his long brown locks out of his angry eyes. 

“Stop!” Clarke yelled as she tried to elbow her way toward the angry boy at the door. “The air could be toxic. Just take a second to -” 

“We are dead if we don’t open the door, or did I miss the luxury apartments with a years’ worth of food in it?”

“No, but let’s be -”

“We don’t take orders from you” His face pinched up into a sneer as he growled out. “Princess” His hand pulled the lever, his angry, challenging eyes never leaving hers. 

The hiss of the hydraulics was mirrored by the others as they held what might be their last breath. When no one dropped to the floor dead, the excitement became palpable as kids raced out into the most beautiful site her pale blue eyes had ever seen.

Wells’ hand dropped on her shoulder jolting her out of her revere. They shared a hesitant smile as he produced a map and compass with the other hand. “My father’s message on the drop ship said something about making it to Mount Weather, for food and supplies. It's marked here on the map but I wanted you to double check, because I’m pretty sure we landed on the wrong peak.” 

“Okay, well, if that is the case we need to get moving in that direction. Just give me a minute to double check the map. When they start to calm down, round up a couple people who might want to come scout with us.”

Moving in separate directions, Clarke glanced back and forth between the map and compass, only to confirm that Wells was indeed correct. They had landed on the wrong mountain. The green around her started to feel suffocating as she realized they had at least a 20 mile walk in front of them to get to what might be the only thing that kept them from starving to death. Her eyes wandered about hoping that she might see some wildlife now that she had walked away from the shouting children who were still dancing and rejoicing at being alive on the ground. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts as The Space Walker sauntered in her direction with a lazy drawl of “Why so serious, Princess? It’s not like we died in a fiery explosion”

She turned her head sharply towards him. “Tell that to the two guys who were floating around the cabin with you.” Her icy gaze cut in his direction. 

“You don’t like being called Princess. Do you, Princess?” His hand pushed his long hair away from his delighted grin. 

“You see that peak over there?” the worry that lined her face deepened at every glance she made towards the mountain peak

“Yeah.”

“That’s Mount Weather. There is a radiation soaked forest between us and our next meal. We don’t have time to wait.” Turning on her heel, she headed back towards the drop ship to find Wells. 

Searching for his tall, dark frame, she noted that there didn’t seem to be any lull in the excitement from the other delinquents still. As she pursued Wells she found the angry boy from the door working to take off his wrist band and she rushed over to him. 

“What are you doing?” She grabbed the arm that was prying at the cuff. 

“Whatever the hell I want.” He snatched his hand back. 

“You can’t do that, how else will the people on the ark know it’s safe to come down?” She reached for his arm again, hoping to keep him from getting any further with removing the wristband. 

The grin that split his face was full of malice, jumping onto the ramp he raised his arms and his voice, “Why would we want them to come down here? They sent us down here to die. We don’t need them! We don’t need their rules. I say we take off the damn cuffs and let them all go fuck themselves!”

The cheer of the others rose up as she jumped up behind the pacing boy in front of her, wary of what he might do. 

“We can’t do that!” her voice grew louder as the crowd quieted down to hear what she had to say. Most exchanged looks expecting her to make a fool of herself; to stand up for the same people she lived most of her life with, just like the princess they expected she was. “We have to leave the cuffs on. If we don’t all of your loved ones will die before the next 6 months are out, probably less!”

The look of shock on the delinquent’s faces was not surprising. The disquieted murmuring picked up as they stared at her in disbelief. They glanced back and forth at each other hoping someone else in the crowd might know what she was talking about and be able to confirm or deny what she was saying.

“How do we know you aren’t just saying this so you can get your precious council back? So, you can go running to the protection of your mommy!” The angry boy sneered, the look of indecision on most of the others propelled her forward again.

“I hate the council more than any of you.” She quieted; meeting Wells' pained eyes. “They floated my father because he wanted to tell the people of the ark that it was dying. Life support is failing and there is not enough time left to make the repairs needed to stay afloat for more than, I would guess, another six months at this point. 

“It's why I was put in solitary. So, I couldn’t make friends. So, I couldn’t tell any of you, so that you couldn’t tell any of your friends and family and let the message spread. So, you see, we can’t take the cuffs off. Because who do you think will be affected first? Whose family and friends will be culled first? Not mine. It will be yours. Miller, do you want your dad to die? He’s a good man but ultimately, he’s more expendable than say Commander Shumway?” 

With the long drag of his adam’s apple up and down his throat, she watched him working out the math of his father’s position. 

“And you Monty, your parents in Farm Station. They are just workers, they are skilled workers, sure, but when it comes down to it. Are your parents not more expendable than Kara Cooper?

She swung her nervous face around staring out at the crowd who was hanging on her every word, waiting to see who would be called out next. 

“Can any of you say that your families have people in positions that are high enough to be saved if the council has their way? I know you all think that I don’t care enough to know who you are, but you would be wrong. I know every family on the ark. I was present for the last baby to be born before I was sent to lock up for knowing too much. I would like to see that baby get the chance to grow up here. Free. 

“My father gave his life trying to do the right thing and had he been able to, before the council found out maybe there would have been enough time with enough minds to fix it. But what ifs can’t save us now. We have to get to Mount Weather. They dropped us on the wrong peak. Our next meals depend on it.” 

Clarke looked at the angry boy in front of her, daring him to fight her further, though he had stopped pacing, she could see the fight still in his eyes. Walking up to him and she placed her hand on his tense arm; lowering her voice to talk directly to him, even though she knew that the rest of the crowd was still listening with rapt attention.

“I know that you don’t want to believe me and I’m not expecting you to take orders from me on faith, but I can promise you if we do whatever the hell we want then we will not survive here. Can you at least agree with me on that?” 

He pulled away from her light touch and jumped off the ramp before stomping over to lean against the drop ship. The shadow of the ship swallowed the heat of his anger.

“What do we do then?” came from a small voice in the crowd.

“I am not your leader here, but logically what we need to do is get a small group together and make our way towards Mount Weather to scout out the land and see if there is even anything there worth marching towards. We know it was a military base, but we don’t know if it was capable of housing civilians. That should take us about 8-10 hours to make the trek. 

And then the rest of the people here need to inventory what we were sent down with, medicines, food supplies and whatnot. We need people to look for water, to figure out how to make a fire so we can boil out the impurities. We need to be smart or we won’t make it long enough for our farmers and engineers to get here and set up what we need.”

“For someone who says they aren’t a leader, you seem to be issuing a lot of orders, princess.” Came from the angry set mouth of the boy in the back, but the lack of tension in the rest of his form screamed defeat. 

“I am not your leader. I’m just pointing out the logical steps we need to take to survive. If anyone has any better ideas, I’d like to hear them.” 

Her searching face was met with silence. When she looked back at Wells, there was pride shining in his eyes. 

“Okay then, the sooner we get going, the sooner we can get back to the group and make a decision. If you want to go, come find me. I’m leaving in 15 minutes. No more than 5 of us should go.” 

Jumping off the ramp she was immediately met by Wells who threw his arms around her in a hug that made Clarke feel more pulled together than she had felt in a long time. Her arms came up to lightly rest against his back. 

“I’m so proud of you, Clarke.” He whispered against the crown of her head. “I’m ready to head out when you are.” 

She leaned away from him to look up in his eyes. “I need you to stay here.”

“Why?” His brows pinched together confusion. 

“Because, they need one of us here to help them. You were the top of the class in earth skills. If anyone can find water and build a fire it will be you. And if I’m right about what season I think this is, then the nights will get cold and they will be miserable and less cooperative tomorrow without either of those things. We need them to be ready to move if that’s what it comes down to.”

He nodded and let her go. “Okay, you were good at Earth Skills too. You stay here and I’ll go.” His hand moved up to brush the wild golden silk away from her face. 

“No, I can’t ask you to do that. This was my plan. I’ll go and I’ll be back tomorrow.” Shaking her head, she pulled away from him to pace; the green of the forest around her swaying back and forth in time with her.

“Clarke -”

“Please Wells? I need you to stay safe. I can’t lose anyone else.” He pulled her back to another firm hug. 

“Okay. I’ll stay this time. Please be safe. May we meet again.” touching his head briefly to hers. 

“May we meet again.” Her eyes were bright with emotion. “We will meet again, Wells. I have so much to make up for.”

  
  


\------------

  
  


From high in the trees, a beautiful, young brunette peeled away from the tree and moved away from the group of people, some no more than children. Looking over to spot the tan skin of her lover who was masked against the forest the same as she was. Meeting his eyes, she knew that he was not seeing the same threat that she saw. In his gentle heart she knew he was hoping to avoid confrontation. 

After moving some distance away so as not to be overheard, she laid her hand on his cheek. “Heda will want to hear of this. And I must speak with Indra before Anya charges us into a battle halfcocked.”

“I know. I will trail their leader.” He mimicked her pose before pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

“Do not let them get close to the mountain, we cannot let them join forces against us. We don’t know what kind of intentions they have. The sky people may prove to be more dangerous than the Mountain Men.”

“They are just kids, Octavia. They look more scared than anything.”

“You heard her, there are more of them in the sky. And it doesn’t sound like they want to preserve life where she comes from.”

His gentle eyes caressed her face. “She also said she wasn’t their leader and look how they follow her.” 

“Exactly, they follow a liar!” 

“Octavia,” he kissed her gently. “She is young, can you say you did better the first time Indra gave you a group to look after? Were you any more a leader than she? Did you have any more right to call yourself their leader at that point?” 

“Yes, yes. You are right, of course you are.” Her exasperated smile lit up her face in a teasing glow of happiness. “You’re always right.”

“Let’s not start anything without telling Heda. He will want to know. And he will be mad that you came here, before coming to him or sending someone else to scout.”

“Oh, don’t remind me. But I can handle my brother, you go watch them. I will hurry to Indra and then on to Polis to inform Heda. I will see you soon, my love.” 

Another gentle kiss before they pulled away and moved through the woods like wraiths in the night unknown to the sky kids, he was now responsible for following. 

\------------

The lush green forest slowed the route march that she had attempted to keep, to minimize the amount of time that it took them to get to the mountain. They needed to get there and get back before their people started to feel the effects of the lack of nutrition. They could only live on excitement for so long before people started to collapse or turn on each other again. 

She seemed to be the only one feeling the pressure of responsibility. The others slowed their pace even further as they turned to watch the weird displays of nature that had not been what the textbooks had shown.

The best friend set, Monty and Jasper, had tagged along as soon as The SpaceWalker - Finn his name had turned out to be- had shown up with the intention of following her into the wood. The surprise had been Murphy. He stepped up to her with a sneer still firmly in place telling Clarke that he was going to go so he could keep an eye on her and make sure she wasn’t trying to set up his people before remembering the other groups, no matter how much she tried to explain they were all her people. 

Reaching the sound of a river drew they stopped short. Finn told them all to be careful before the excited grin stole over his face, her answering grin stretched across her face, before she could stop it, in response to his. 

Moving forward to the edge of the river, her grin fell, seeing no visible way to cross the river. She began to walk the river bed hoping to find an area that was shallow enough for them to wade across as she consulted the map and compass again. The sound of something being torn away snapped her head back towards the group. Finn had pulled a thick vine off the large tree behind him and was testing it for strength.

“What are you thinking, Finn?” she marched back over to try and catch the conversation the boys were having.

“Well, none of us know how to swim, but some of us know how to walk through space”

His infectious smile pulled across this face as Jasper and Monty rubbed their palms together in anticipation. 

Leaning back and bracing against the vine Finn prepared to launch himself out across the river before Jasper cried out for Finn to wait; that he wanted to try his first spacewalk.

Handing the vine to Jasper’s nervous hand. “Well, looks like I’m not going to be the only one able to claim the title anymore.” 

Laughing a little Jasper mimicked the position Finn had just held before launching himself across the river. His dismount was a little less than graceful. Jasper stood up and wiped his hands against his jacket. His smile wide and bright as he laughed in astonishment. 

“Jasper, are you okay?” Clarke leaned forward hoping he heard her over the sound of the water in front of her.

Dusting himself off again; he stooped down picking up a sign and holding it over his head. “We found Mount Weather!” 

A cheer went up from the group on the opposite side of the river and Jasper’s excited dancing continued until a sharp creak of wood sounded. Dropping the sign Jasper eyes traced the area looking for the source of the noise. The cheers subdued. Another thump sounded, tearing a tortured cry from Jasper, who staggered before falling back against an outcropping of rocks, a spear protruding from his abdomen. 

“Jasper!” Clarke screamed as she was pulled backwards into the woods no matter how she tried to turn back to see what had become of their friend. “No! We have to go back!”

“We can’t! That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy.” Finn sounded frantic. His tone breathless as he pulled at her jacket forcing her to keep moving away. 

“But he’s hurt, we can’t leave him.” She cried, a film of tears clouding her vision.

“We are not alone down here.” Murphy sounded as breathless as everyone else when they stopped after several minutes of running through the lush forest. Their bodies tiring quickly as they moved across the unfamiliar terrain.

That statement seemed to shake them to their core. 

“Okay, we go back, warn the others and regroup. Then we go out and find him.”

Everyone nodded before collecting themselves and starting the trek back to the dropship. 

\------------

A large tan man shoved the smaller man before him, grabbing a fist full of his dark camouflage jacket. 

“What were you thinking? Huh! What were you thinking?” Shaking the smaller man who only sneered up at the taller man.

“I’m thinking, I’m following Anya’s orders to keep the Sky people away from the Mountain Men. That the two of them together could mean the end of trikru.”

“Heda, won’t be happy with you.” He shoved the smaller man one more time, disgusted by the lunacy of it.

\------------

They found Jasper some hours later strung up to a tree, heart struggling to keep beating. After hauling him back camp, no one got any sleep; from fear and the low groans that came from Jasper’s throat at regular intervals. 

By the morning everyone was set on edge. Murphy drove the other delinquents fiercely, using their nervous energy into making the camp more secure. By the end of the first week the camp was looking more and more secure. 

Though Murphy and Clarke fought, endlessly, they eventually came to an uneasy alliance. Though it was antagonistic at the best of times, the two of them came up with rules and boundaries for their people to try and help most of them people survive through repeated attacks from the grounders. 

The trees were felled by a small group of boys who were brave enough to volunteer to move away from camp into the surrounding area. Wells joined that group saying that he could help them get them to avoid taking too much coverage from one place or another. 

The younger kids at camp shaped the downed trees into points at the top. Then they were set into trenches that had been dug by quickly forged shovels made of pieces of scrap metal that had fallen off the dropship.

After just two weeks with failed attempt after failed attempt to contact the ark, we knew they would be losing hope with every wrist band sacrificed to the vain attempt to reach them, and every member of the hundred that fell to the grounders and an Earth that seemed desperate to kill them.

Despite the losses and lost hope of ever reaching the ark with reports of the relative safety of their people, joy seemed to radiate off everyone but Murphy and Clarke when they saw the small pod streaking across the sky. 

“We leave as soon as it's light enough to safely navigate the woods.” Murphy shouted for the rest of the camp to hear, “so get some rest while you can.” 

“Murphy, everyone in a hundred miles will have seen that pod.” 

“Maybe so, Princess, but I won’t risk our remaining people over what may be nothing. Now, go back to your little boyfriend and get some rest. We leave at dawn.”

“He’s not my -”

“Save it, Clarke,” Murphy cut her off. “We all see how he follows you around like a lost puppy. And don’t think I didn’t notice how you guys disappear for hours at a time.” His wicked grin showed just how much he had assumed of their relationship. 

“We were just scouting!” Clarke shouted at his retreating back. 

“Is that what they are calling it these days?” He called without turning around towards her; a careless wave thrown over his shoulder. 

The hand that touched Clarke’s back made her jump as Finn’s warm voice tickled her ear. 

“Come on, Princess. Let’s go to bed.” The whispered words, warming the blood that rushed through her body. A shy smile played across his lips as they slipped through the shadows of camp towards Clarke’s tent. His hand drifting lower on her spine.

“Let’s go scouting.” The humor in his voice was obvious as his voice lowered. A warm flush spilled over Clarke’s cheeks as she leaned into Finn. 

Wells’ eyes followed her in disapproval. He knew that Finn was bad news for her. The normally serious girl, a giggling mess when he made tasteless jokes. He’d seen her like this before and knew that this would not last and before long she would be back at his side. He just had to wait for her infatuation to die out. 


	2. Even When You’re With Me, Feels Like Something’s Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t want to feel bad for her. She was the Ark’s princess and he knew that as soon as the others were down she wouldn’t have to worry about another thing in her life, unlike him. But watching the misery and shock flicker behind her stormy blue eyes had caught him off guard and his heart went out to her without his permission.
> 
> Or in other words Murphy has a heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I’m going to try and do regular updates as much as possible. I hope to get one or two chapters out a week if I can. 
> 
> Thank you all who commented or gave kudos.

The next morning a small group of the delinquents found the pod just past the river heading away from Mount Weather. Their body’s tense, as their eyes paced back and forth watching the trees that the grounder’s attacks frequently came from. 

“What do you think is in there?” Finn asked before answering his own question. “Nutrition packs, hopefully.”

“Well, why don’t you open it and find out?” Clarke waved him forward.

Pushing his long hair out of his face, Finn pulled open the door and climbed partially inside. “Hey there is a person in here!” 

“What do you mean?” Disquiet colored Murphy’s voice as he turned to watch the surrounding area. “Why would they send us one person and nothing else?”

“Here take a look, Clarke. I think they are still alive!” Finn backed away from the door, ignoring Murphy. Stepping closer to the pod Clarke allowed her hand to briefly trail across Finn’s lower back as she passed him. A quick glance at him from under her eyelashes showed a shiver run down his body in response.

A quiet moan alerted her to the person in the pod waking up. Clarke picked up her pace toward the interior of the pod. Pulling the helmet off the suit on a pretty brunette, Clarke leaned closer to inspect the wound on her forehead. “Hey,” Clarke murmured, brushing back the stray hairs that had fallen into the brunette’s face, sticking to the blood still draining out of the wound.

“Hey, did I make it?” The weak reply came as the brunette looked around slowly in a daze.

“Yeah, you made it. Now let’s get you out of here for your first look at the ground.” Clarke helped her unbuckle the rigging. “What’s your name?” Clarke asked as she hooked her arm around the brunette helping her to maneuver out of the broken-down pod. Watching her new patient closely, Clarke didn’t see the shock flicker across the young woman’s eyes as she took in the lushness of the forest. 

“Raven?” Finn’s surprised voice came from the other side of the pod as he walked back around. His eyes widened; darting to lock with Clarke’s as his body tensed. 

“Finn!” Raven launched herself at Finn. Tightly fitting her lips against his; wrapping her long, slender legs around his waist. “I missed you.” She whispered as she pulled slightly away before pressing herself against him again. 

Clarke’s eyes dropped away from the sight in front of her. Shuffling her feet through the dirt, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Her lips parted slightly as she softly inhaled trying to prepare herself to deal with the repercussions of Finn’s decision to not tell her something so important before he pursued her.

“Looks like you were just someone to pass the time with.” Murphy commented as he stepped up beside Clarke. His snide voice, unwelcome even at the best of times, grated against her shame. Not prepared to deal with whatever banal comment his brain decided not to filter out. 

“Can it, Murphy. Nothing happened between us.” Clarke lifted her face to look at Murphy after making sure her face and voice were blank of any emotion that he could use against her. 

“You can lie all you want, but that sad look on your face tells the truth. You can’t even look at them.” His eyebrows shot up as he watched her struggle to compose herself against the sight of the two lovers' intimate embrace. He’d never seen someone who seemed so unflappable, flounder in the face of someone else’s mistake. 

He didn’t want to feel bad for her. She was the Ark’s princess and he knew that as soon as the others were down, she wouldn’t have to worry about another thing in her life, unlike him. But watching the misery and shock flicker behind her stormy blue eyes had caught him off guard and his heart went out to her without his permission. 

“Well you’re not looking either. We need to see what’s in the pod.” The snark in her voice was strong, keeping her voice level. How’d someone like her ever learn to hide herself so well, he wondered, reaching out towards her unconsciously. 

“Clarke -” 

“Wait, you’re Clarke? Like Clarke Griffin?” Raven moved back towards the awkward pair, separated by a few short meters. 

“Yeah?” Pulling herself further away from the others, Clarke’s hands fidgeted at her side. The fear about what Raven knew about her, dragged Clarke’s shoulders up towards her ears. The excitement on Raven’s face did little to calm her fear of the other girl.

“I’m down here because of your mom! She organized all of this, but I had to come down here because…” She looked around admiring the forest around us, distracted. 

“Raven?” Finn’s hand came to rest on Raven’s shoulder, rubbing gentle circles over her red bomber jacket. “Why did you have to come down here today?”

“Yeah, focus little bird” The aggression in Murphy’s voice was stronger than usual. 

Clarke’s eyes cut towards him in confusion and reprimand. “Murphy, she probably has a concussion. This can happen with head injuries.” Murphy wouldn’t drop the glare that narrowed his eyes. 

“I’m fine. I had to come down here because they are going to sacrifice 300 people if we can’t get in touch with them soon. I just need to radio -” She cut herself off moving towards the downed pod. “No, No, No! My radio, damn it, I knew I should have tied it down. It’s broken and this hunk of junk doesn’t have what I need to fix it.”

Finn met Clarke’s eyes briefly. “Art supply store?” He asked as Clarke’s eyes danced away from him, unable to keep the contact no matter how brief. 

“You take her there. Do you need us to prepare anything back at the drop ship for you? I can get Monty to start working on it.” Clarke started to move back toward the tense blockage that was Murphy.

“Not until I see what there is to work with at this… Art supply store.” Her head whipping back and forth between Finn and Clarke, not understanding the blonde’s reticent. Finn’s eyes desperately tried to find and hold Clarke’s. The apology was heavy in his gaze. Raven’s eyebrows drew together as she tried to understand what she was seeing in her boyfriend’s face.

Shaking her head, Clarke moved to latch on to Murphy’s sleeve, pulling him back towards the dropship. “Okay, then let’s head back Murphy.” 

After a few miles, Murphy started to fidget next to her. Opening and closing his mouth like he wanted to say something but not quite knowing how to get the feelings put into words. Finally, he heaved a big sigh then blew a tense breath through his nose and he pinched the bridge of it. 

“Even you didn’t deserve what he did to you, Princess.” Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Murphy avoided meeting Clarke’s gaze.

“Gee, thanks for that ringing endorsement.” Clarke tilted her head back and tried to keep her sniffles quiet enough that Murphy wouldn’t hear them. Her palms clenched at her sides as she tried to calm herself down. 

She couldn’t believe she’d been put in this situation, she never wanted to hurt someone this way. She knew Raven would find out sooner than later and it would be all over for Clarke. Raven would hate her, and people would think she did this on purpose. Anything to discredit Clarke or Wells, quickly became the topic of gossip among the kids of dropship. 

“Look, he’s an ass. He should have told you. He knew we were trying to contact the ark to get them to come down. We kept as many cuffs on as we could to keep them from thinking we were dying.” His arms waved wildly as his irritation suffused through his voice. “He knew. And… and he should have told you is what I’m saying. Let you make the choice with all the information available.” 

Clarke’s surprise at Murphy’s outrage blindsided her for a moment. Not sure what to make of his rant and how long his pity for her would hold before he used this information to his advantage. She decided to let someone see her for a quick moment.

“Thanks, Murphy.” Clarke punched his shoulder as she tried to wipe away the wayward tears, closing her eyes and putting her walls back up. The smile on Clarke’s lips only faltered for a moment before she pulled her unruly face back into line with a quick clench of the muscles and a slow breath out of her nose.

Murphy watched the blonde out of the corner of his eye. Hating that he was starting to resent her less and less. She just seemed so human in that moment before she had fixed her walls back up. 

\------------

The shadow that stalked the pair, watched as their leaders wandered away from the second ship in as many weeks. Not entirely understanding what they had been talking about with the new girl that had fallen from the sky. 

His heart went out to the young blonde who reminded him so much of his chosen. Strong, determined and ultimately caring too much for those around her. He knew that any action that they took against her would result in equal response. Even if she was an untrained, untested warrior. They would not want war with this girl. 

However, no matter what he knew, Anya was making it very difficult for him to keep them from an all-out war. She refused to listen to him. Saying just because he had the Heda’s ear, did not mean she was about to take his soft-hearted words to heart. 

He knew he should wait for Octavia to come back with Heda’s decision or with him, but Anya was not backing down.

Watching them make their way behind the walls of their camp he knew it was only a matter of time before they started fighting back. If she could take the betrayal of one of her people with such stoicism, then their people would be in for a surprise when she decided she would take their abuse no longer. 

Because a predator, while slow to anger, should not be taunted. Because when a wolf takes her leave to hunt, the creatures of the forest should know better than to get in her way, lest they want to become dinner. 

He did not want to become dinner. 

\------------

Though Raven did not send instructions for Monty, when they delivered the news of what they’d found and what was happening now, Monty quickly moved into the dropship muttering under his breath. Jasper trailed behind Monty, still recovering from the spear to his abdomen. The fear of what was outside of the camp still drew heavy lines on his face. The others of the remaining 100 rushed around camp doing their chores with an excited buzz as the news passed through them.

Clarke motioned Wells to join her and Murphy as she made her way to her tent. “Hopefully by this evening, we will be able to reach the ark. Be able to let them know we are alive down here and they can send the guard down.” 

“Are we sure that bringing the guard down here is the best idea Clarke?” Wells' heavy eyebrows lifted on his face. “They aren’t known for their forgiving nature and we can’t afford a war with these people.”

“Wells,” Clarke sighed heavily. “We are already at war. They have taken out 8 of us and two are still missing. Probably dead.”

“As much as I hate to agree with the mini chancellor here, the guard might make it worse.” Murphy slumped against the wooden beam making up the entrance, arms crossed tightly over his chest, his eyes locked on to the sad princess.

“Well, after tonight we won’t have an opinion that matters anymore.” She flopped her arms against her sides as she shook her head. “That will be the council’s choice. So, it doesn’t really matter what you or I think.”

“What if we tried a peace talk with them?”

“You have lost your mind, Wells. They don’t want peace. They only want to kill us, or have you forgotten the ones we lost?”

“Not all of them were lost to the grounders, Clarke. Atom was taken by the fog. And we don’t know where Pascal and Trina are… for all we know they could be -”

“Could be dead, Wells!” She cut him off and turned away to lean against the makeshift table full of notes on inventory, observation of wildlife and grounders, and other important information that Clarke had fallen asleep reviewing the night prior. “And Atom died because I killed him.”

“I vote they are down in pound town.” Came Murphy’s unconcerned voice before Wells could disagree with her last statement.

“Murphy, that’s not helpful. And Clarke, he is right, as much as that pains me to say.” Murphy’s answering grin was slightly predatory in nature. “They could be just fine.”

“If they were fine, they would be here in camp, safe.” She mumbled just loud enough that they could hear it before she pulled a deep breath in, turning to face the two boys behind her. “But there is no use in this conversation. We need to start preparing for more people to be here on earth. Wells can you please make sure we are starting to increase the hunting and gathering to ensure we have enough to feed ourselves when they arrive. It might also be a good idea to find more storage for water, so we have enough in camp for a few days. Can you do that for me, Wells?”

“Sure, Clarke.” His eyes had softened when her tired face had turned back towards them. 

“Well if you have nothing further for me then boss. I’m going to go see how they are coming along on making more weapons.” Clarke paused for a moment, tense and bracing for his usual verbal attack. 

“That’d be great Murphy. Thank you.” She said softly when he didn’t press his advantage. He didn’t respond as he pushed off the post and headed out the door with a final pass over her tired but stoic face. 

Wells moved closer to her, resting his hands on her shoulders. His thumbs running comforting circles on her shoulders “You don’t sound as excited as I would have expected. What happened, Clarke. You know you can tell me anything.”

Her head bowed forward to rest against Wells’ chest as his arms wrapped around her slim frame. “He made me the other woman.”

“What?”

“The mechanic that was in the pod, Raven, she was his girlfriend on the Ark. They were dating minimally before he went into lock up.” She mumbled against his chest. Tears started to leak, and she brought her hands up to cover her face that stayed pressed against Wells chest. “She’s going to find out and so will everyone else and they are going to hate me. I finally thought I was making friends, but I guess that is over.”

“Oh, Clarke. That’s not your fault. They can’t blame that on you. You didn’t know.” His arms tightened on her back. 

“But they won’t know that.” She let the tears fall a moment longer before pulling away from Wells and wiping away the tears. Sniffling back the tears that threatened to turn to sobs, she withdrew from Wells’ embrace. With every step she took away from him she tightened her walls up. Reinforcing the cracks with every spare ounce of pain that she felt from the last couple weeks. 

She scrubbed at her face to try and erase the evidence of tears and Wells watched her with sad eyes. He watched her pull away from him physically but also felt the loss of her emotionally. He knew what she was trying to do. He only hoped that she would be able to open back up before long. He hated to see her hurting. 

“Time to go face the music I guess.” Clarke adjusted the black threadbare jacket around her shoulders, brushed her wild curls back and lifted her head higher. Her lip trembled around her words. “Do I look like I’ve just been crying?”

Wells' eyes ran over her again. His heart broke for her. Promising himself to keep an eye on her for the rest of the day. 

“No, you look just as strong as you always have. But, Clarke, you don’t always have to be strong for us. Sometimes you can just be human. You can be hurt by something that someone did to you, by something like this.”

“No,” She shook her head to emphasize her words. She turned to head out of her tent without looking back at him. “No I can’t Wells.”

She looked towards the commotion of Finn and Raven entering the camp. The tension radiating off the two of them told her that somehow Raven at least suspected that something had happened between Finn and Clarke. Taking a deep breath, she moved to meet them closer to the drop ship. Aware that the eyes of the kids around her were already zeroed in on them. 

“Get everything you need?” Clarke asked as they neared the door of the drop ship. 

“Did you?” Raven’s acid laced tone mumbled. 

Choosing to ignore it, Clarke pressed forward. “I know you said that you didn’t need me to have Monty do anything before you got here, but he took off in here mumbling something about boosting signal. So, you should probably meet him. He’s been trying to reverse engineer the wrist bands we have to contact the ark with no luck so far, but he might have a set up that will help with the radio.” 

Turning to Jasper who was sitting silently against the bottom rung of the ladder. “Hey Jasper, do you know where Monty got off to?”

Looking up to meet Clarke’s eyes, Jasper fidgeted. “Yeah I think he’s gotten into the wiring up on level three.” 

“Okay, Raven, do you need anything else from us?” Raven shook her head. “Okay, then, Jasper why don’t you come with me. I could use some help getting things ready for our people to join us.”

Jasper looked lost in thought, like he hadn’t heard a thing she said. Finn used that as a sign to move closer to Clarke. Putting his hand lightly on Clarke’s elbow. “Clarke, we need to talk.”

Tearing her arm out from under his hand. “No, you should have talked before anything happened. That’s when we should have talked. Not after your secret is exposed by dropping out of the sky.”

“I didn’t think I would see her again.” Finn dropped his head to try and meet Clarke’s eyes.

“Look, Finn, I can’t do this with you now.” She moved closer to Jasper, placing her hand on his shoulder, startling him. “Jasper, buddy, can you come help me with getting camp ready for more people?

Realizing Finn wasn’t going to get anything further from Clarke now he stalked out of the drop ship. Jasper nodded and stood up exiting the drop ship ahead of Clarke. Watching him move forward, she took the opportunity to check her mask. 

Raven, who had been listening from the open hatch, stepped back on to the ladder and climbed down just enough to talk to Clarke.

“Do you love him?” Raven asked, not meeting Clarke’s startled eyes.

“I hardly know him.” She moved towards Raven. “I’m so sorry. I would never have… If I had known… I’m just so sorry, Raven.” 

Nodding Raven climbed back up the ladder without a word or glance back at Clarke. Sighing Clarke turned back towards the exit. Nodding to herself, that there was nothing else she could do to help this situation. 

She grabbed her backpack before stepping outside, she noticed Jasper looking around just as nervous as the first time he exited the drop ship after recovering. She moved in closer to Jasper, settling a hand on his back she moved him towards the side of camp. 

“Jasper, I need to go down to the river to get some more of that seaweed we used for you. Why don’t you come with me? It’s just a short walk and we have the rest of the day. We can take all the time you need to get comfortable.”

“Clarke, I don’t think I can do that.” He shook his head backing away from her a couple steps.

“Jasper, I know you can do this.” She tracked his movements. “You are so strong and brave Jasper. You can do this. You can hold my hand the whole way if you need to, but this will be good for you. It’s good to have a healthy respect for the dangers of this world but you can’t let it define every decision every day.”

She pulled him gently by the hands as she moved him towards the exit gate. Making sure to keep her eyes on him, she monitored his anxiety levels all while moving them slowly further away from the safety of camp. She kept idly chatting to him about anything and everything. 

She noticed a shadow tracking them the whole time but unwilling to look any closer and bring any sort of disquiet to Jasper who was gaining more and more confidence as he moved further into the woods. Reaching the river, she asked Jasper if he would like to be the one who grabbed the seaweed or if she should. 

When he took the opportunity to venture away from Clarke’s calming presence, she darted her eyes up towards the tree line, looking for the shadow. Sighting a tall, dark man with strange clothes that she knew were supposed to him blend in against the forest around him. What she couldn’t decide is if he was trying to intimidate her by being so visible or if he just wanted her to know that they were watching them. 

Either way she knew she could not say anything without sending Jasper on a tailspin. Nodding in his direction so he knew that she saw him she watched him disappear back into the forest until she could no longer see him. 

“I got it, Clarke!” Jasper waded back out of the river with a handful of seaweed which he shoved into her backpack when he reached her. 

“You are doing so good, Jasper! I knew you could do it.” she gently laid her hand on his bicep. “Now let’s head back to camp and see if we can contact the ark now.” 

He turned towards the camp and headed out before she even made a move to follow him. With a smile on her face she followed him keeping her eye out for the man that had been tailing them thus far; he was nowhere to be seen but she felt confident he was still out there watching her.

\------------

A tall, young man with tan skin and unruly, curly, brown hair watched as his sister made her way up the streets of Polis. Ignoring the meandering voices of the ambassadors behind him, talking of nothing more interesting than trade agreements. 

She looked good, and healthy which prompted a slight sigh to leave his lips. His eyes danced around her form before she disappeared from his sight. He knew he’d see her again in moments, but he always hated to be separated from her. The haste in her walk and the lack of her chosen gave him pause though.

“Heda?”

“Hmm? What is it?” He responds to whomever has felt so inclined to call him out on his distraction.

“It’s just we could use your input on this.” Turning toward the nervous man. He looked him up and down before dismissing the whole group.

Pausing for only a moment he moved to exit the room in search of his sister, only to be plowed over by the arms of said sister enveloping him. Squeezing her tightly to him for a moment before pulling away to look her over more critically, hands still clenching her shoulders.

“I’m fine big brother.” She laid her hands over the arms that held her away from her brother.

“O, what are you doing here?” Her amused smile quirked up before falling just as quickly. “Not that I’m not happy to see you of course, but I wasn’t expecting you for a few more months and I would also have expected Lincoln to be here with you.”

“Big brother, has no one told you of the people who fell from the sky?” She looked at him confused. “I would have thought the news would have reached you before I did. I spent a week with Trikru trying to talk Anya down from starting an all-out war with them.”

“O, slow down. No one has mentioned anything to me. Start from the beginning. Nothing you’re saying makes sense.”

“Bell, people have fallen from the sky in a big metal box. Maybe people is too vague. Kids, Bell, not a warrior among them. Lincoln and I overheard their leader talking and she said they were sent to find out if they could survive on earth and that if they could show them that they could then others would follow.”

“Tell me of their leader.” He paced away from his sister towards the large window. Hands clasped behind his back. 

“She is young and golden headed. Her eyes are like glass.” She smirked as he let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay, Bell, she is young though. Maybe my age but with no experience, she does not appear to have been a second to any person ever. She was smart though. Sent people to scout for water and food sources, immediately after they landed. She said she was not their leader, but she centered them. 

“She had one person who fought against her rule and even though she said she was not the leader, he bowed down to her words. There was another who followed her as Roma does you. He shadows her, following her with a quiet intensity. The rest are just kids who know nothing.”

“Why does Anya try to start war with them?” He peeked over at his sister quickly before looking back out the window.

“They landed in her territory. But, Bell, it sounded like they didn’t know that people were alive on the ground.” 

“Lincoln has softened you. What does Indra have to say about that?” He shot her a playful grin.

Her answering smile was quick before she dropped it, though the playfulness remained in her eyes. “A warrior does not believe an enemy is not an enemy unless they prove it to be true.”

He laughs at her, shaking his head. “Okay, O, let’s send an official rider to her and find out why she pursues this, and, in the meantime, I believe I have an ambassador to talk to. I should have known of this before it was brought to me by my sister who was supposed to be out on assignment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think? Finally got a little glimpse of Bellamy. There will be more in the next couple chapters but he will remain a semi background character for a little while longer before he becomes a bigger player, but it will happen.


	3. I Know I’ve Been Actin’ Easily Distracted, You Wish I could Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She laughed as he swatted at her. Letting her pass him out the door and into the hallway. He adjusted the sign of the commander that sat between his brows. He turned to the page that tailed him “Bring Tristan to the council room. I find myself in need of him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three chapters in less than 7 days. Oh yeah, go me! Working on chapter 4 as you read. Going to try and crank out a couple more before things pick up at work. Because, ugh, real life is no fun.

“Fuck!” the crash of a tool being thrown to the ground was heard around the camp. “I need more time to fix this if we are going to contact the Ark. This isn’t working!”

Raven came storming out of the dropship hands in her hair. She paced back and forth muttering to herself. 

“Raven, Raven!” Clarke moved towards her. “Calm down, you can do this.” 

“No, I can’t. Not in time to save those people.” Raven’s pacing increased as she got more agitated. Ticking off unsaid things on her hands. 

“Yes, you can. Don’t think about them right now, we just need to let the ark know we are alive down here.” Stepping into Raven’s path Clarke stopped Raven in her tracks, grabbing her shoulders. Raven’s angry face met Clarke’s gaze before a thoughtful expression slid across it. 

“What if we can just show them, we are here. We don’t even need to communicate with them, right? We can make flares.”

“Will that work?” Hope started to bubble up in Clarke’s gut.

“I think so. It’s all about cloud cover and burn time and I know your mom will be watching. I’ve never seen anyone love someone the way she loves you.” A smile softened the sharp edges of Raven’s face. Raven’s eyes trailed across Clarke’s face slowly as the two stared at each other. 

Pulling away Raven’s angry countenance reappeared. “Besides, it’s the only thing I can come up with on short notice. Unless you have a better plan.”

Shaking her head, Clarke moved away from Raven’s angry glare. “No, no, of course not. What do you need us to do?”

As Raven began to list off the things that she would need she started walking away from Clarke, grabbing more kids and giving them things to get. Clarke followed her until she stopped and turned around to Clarke. “Well, what are you waiting for? We need to get this done if we are going to get them in the air before they kill a bunch of people.”

“Right.” 

The camp burst into activity. By the time the sun was setting they were ready to go. Raven lit the flares and stepped back. The crowd of kids stood back and watched the lights take to the sky, the hope for the lives of their people silencing the crowd. 

Sliding up to Clarke, Murphy looked at her as the flares peaked in the sky. “You think they will see the flares?”

“I don’t know. I hope so.” Clarke looked back at Murphy. “You think you can wish on this kind of shooting star?”

Meeting Clarke’s gaze, Murphy’s amusement lingered around the corners of his mouth. Clarke shook her head. “Never mind.”

“I wouldn’t even know what to wish for. What about you?” Clarke looked over at Finn with his arm around Raven. Murphy followed her gaze. “Clarke, he doesn’t deserve you.”

Dropping her gaze. “I know,” she said softly. “You know Murphy, I don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me but thank you.”

\------------

Bellamy sat deep in the throne beneath him. His heavy brows drawn low over his eyes; an unhappy line pressing his full lips, thin. His arms crossed over his dark leather clad chest. The waves of displeasure rolled off him as the Trikru ambassador stood cowering in front of Heda.

“Ambassador, care to tell me why I’m finding out about the Sky people from my sister? My sister who was supposed to be on a mission monitoring Azgeda at your borders? The borders that you begged me to assess because you felt Nia was testing your defenses?”

The slight man trembled under the pointed gaze that was directed at him. “Heda, you have to understand -”

“I have to understand?” Bellamy growled, cutting off the ambassador. “I have to do nothing, except get the truth from you. You will tell me why you did not bring news of this to me. Did you not think I would find out eventually?” 

Bellamy paused allowing the man to attempt to mount his defense. When the man just continued to flounder, Bellamy rocked up forward up and out of the throne. Grasping the other man’s clothes, he dropped his voice low. “You will tell me in the next 3 seconds, or I will find an ambassador who will.”

“Heda, Anya asked for time to find out what these people want.” The ambassador flinched at the end of his response. Bellamy’s sharp eyes follow the movement closely. 

“Yet, I hear that Anya is attacking them unprovoked. These kids.” 

The ambassador flashed angry eyes towards Bellamy but realizing that he was being stared at dropped his gaze back to the floor, trying and failing to display submission. “But Heda, it wasn’t unprovoked. They were attempting to join the mountain men and -”

“Are they still trying to reach the mountain men?” Surprise filtered through Bellamy, tensing up his shoulders, pacing away towards the window. 

“Well, no, as far as we can tell. We have them contained for now.” The ambassador’s tone turned hopeful as he watched the commander’s agitated pacing. 

“As far as you know? If you don’t know then what good are you?” Anger at the lack of knowledge made Bellamy’s posture hostile. The other commanders cried out in his head, calling for action against these new enemies before they could hurt their people. 

“Heda, please -” the fear was back in his voice. 

“I will have answers, Ambassador.” Bellamy came to stand right in front of the fearful man, looking down his nose at him.

“Yes, Heda. I will send for word immediately.”

“Too late. I already have.” Walking away, Bellamy turned and paused briefly at the door. “And Ambassador, see to it that you do not keep anything else from me. You will get no more chances.” 

He would not see this new threat endanger his people. 

\------------

The following evening as the camp settled down for the night, Wells and Clarke stood in her tent discussing supplies that they still needed to find or replenish. When the background chatter that seemed to always accompany camp dropped off, both of them stood at attention. Sharing a look with Wells, they exited the tent quickly to see the whole crowd staring up towards the sky.

“It didn’t work. They didn’t see the flares.” Clarke clenched her fists. 

“A meteor shower tells you that?” Wells looked at Clarke not quite understanding how she knew that they didn’t work. 

“It's not a meteor shower, it's a funeral. Hundreds of bodies being returned to the earth from the ark. This is what it looks like from the other side” Clarke looked away from Wells; unable to meet his questioning gaze.

“Damn it!” Raven stormed over to Murphy. “I have to get out of camp! I have to go find more parts! I gotta fix this damn radio.”

“Not tonight, Raven.” He grabbed her arms stopping her from moving away from him. Raven struggled against Murphy’s hold “Finn and you can go back tomorrow to look for more parts.”

“Raven, he’s right. We can’t go out there tonight. It’s too dangerous.” Clarke moved towards the commotion hoping to keep it from escalating any further and worrying the other kids. 

“No, Clarke, you don’t understand. This is my fault. I didn’t secure the radio. I couldn’t fix it. It’s all my fault.” Raven broke down into tears, leaning forward as she started to sob in earnest.

“Wells, get Finn.” She nodded back towards her tent. “Raven, it was not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but the council. You can fix that radio, but not tonight.”

Raven and Clarke looked up to see Finn jog through the tent flap. Finn grabbed the crying Raven and pulled her tightly into his chest. Meeting Clarke’s eyes Finn nodded before pulling the distraught woman out of her tent. 

Following them out of the tent she watched Finn pull Raven into their tent before she headed back towards the dropship in search of Monty. Finding him on the second level she sat down next to him. 

“What else do you and Raven need to get the radios working?” 

“The radio transmitter fried last time we tried to link it into the dropship power. We need a new one.” He looked up from the wires he was splicing together. 

“Okay, what does something like that look like?” She stood up, bracing her hands on her hips. 

“Why?” He stood up, setting aside his tools. “What are you planning on doing?”

“I’m going to go find this transmitter thingy and be back at camp before Raven wakes up. I don’t think she can take another loss. And 300 people won’t be enough, they will need to sacrifice more people before long. They won’t have a choice.”

“Then I’m going with you.” 

Clarke started shaking her head. “No, Monty. I can’t ask you to do that. It’s too dangerous.” 

“That’s why I’m going with you.” Both Monty and Clarke started at the sound of Murphy’s voice. Climbing the rest of the way to the second level, Murphy moved in towards them.

“Guys, it’s not safe and too many of us will draw the attention of the grounders. I won’t lose anyone else to them.” She crossed her arms over her chest, drawing her face into an unimpressed countenance. 

“You’re right Clarke,” Murphy agreed with her. “But we can’t allow our leader to leave camp undefended.” 

“I told you Murphy, I’m not your-” Cutting her off as he hooked his arm over her shoulders, nodding his head but the smirk on his face spoke of his amusement.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say but I don’t see anyone else sitting up at all hours of the night trying to come up with a plan to keep us alive just one more day, every day.” He shoved her playfully. “So, I’m going with you.”

“Well since it seems that I can’t get you to stay, do you know what the radio transmitter thingy looks like.” She shook her head, amused at his behavior. 

“Nope, not a clue.” Shrugging, he shook his head, laughter barely contained. 

Sighing, her humor palpable in her exasperation. “Then you are no help, Murphy.” 

“Well I guess that means I get to go then.” Monty cut in.

Throwing her hands in the air Clarke gave in. “Fine you can come, but no one else. And we do this without torches. We can’t afford for them to spot us moving about in the night.”

With the final agreement, they moved to head out of camp. Separating as they left the drop ship to keep everyone from noticing that they were leaving camp they met up slightly outside of the camp walls, concealed within the tree line. 

They moved quickly to the art supply store hoping to make it back before the sun rose for the new day. The humor that had been present in the safety of the dropship faded into quiet tension the further they got from camp. Once they reached the art supply store they rummaged through the containers, finding mostly blankets and clothing items. 

“Nothing!” She threw the blankets down on the ground “There are no electronics.”

“Wait, Clarke. I think I found what we need.” Holding up what she remembered from the vids on the ark, a small model car.

“Okay, then let’s go.” She nodded, shoving aside the mess she’d made.

Looking up to the sky as they exit the bunker, Clarke noted a thick cloud cover blotting out the stars. “We need to move. I’d like to get back to camp sooner than later.” 

Silently agreeing to her whispered words, they head back to camp. They broke through the forest line, the sight of the front gate appeared, just as the sun breached the horizon. A tall shadow sat off to the side just barely catching Clarke’s eye. Turning her head slightly towards the shadow. Noting the figure that had been trailing her, since the outing with Jasper, was still there. 

Picking up the pace she moved toward camp, ready to be back behind the safety of the walls. By the time they arrived in camp, everyone was waking up and Raven was standing off to the side of the dropship already fiddling with the wires. Finn was sitting around the fire watching her carefully. Monty moved towards Raven with the toy car they had found. 

Raven’s face lit up at the sight of the car and her hands started moving wildly as she talked at Monty who’s face carried a soft smile. As the pair moved towards the dropship, Clarke felt the heavy weight of an unwelcome stare on her. Looking at Finn she saw he was preparing to get up and head in her direction. 

“Murphy, it’s been… well, it’s been something. I’m heading to catch some shut eye, you should too.” 

“Yeah don’t worry, I will. And I’ll make sure you aren’t disturbed.” Clapping his hand on her back as she passed him. “Good night, Princess.”

Shaking her head. “You know, that’s not my name.” 

Smirking, he nodded. “Oh, I know.” he said laughingly.

By the time Clarke woke up later in the day, Raven and Monty were attempting to hail the ark. “This is Raven Reyes. Calling Ark Station. Come in Ark Station. This is Raven Reyes. Calling Ark Station. Please come in. Can anybody hear me?”

“Ra- is th- ou?” A feminine voice called back. 

“Hello, Abby? Is that you?” Raven’s face was filled with excitement and the delinquents that were in the dropship began to chatter excitedly. 

“Rav - tha- ou?” 

“Yes, Abby it’s me!” Raven turned her excited face to Clarke. “We got them! Clarke it’s your mother!” 

The excitement in Clarke’s face faded at the mention of her mother. “Raven. I’m so glad you got them. I’ll go let everyone know.” Clarke turned and made her way, quickly, to the exit. 

Bumping into Wells on his way back in, he reached out to brace Clarke before she tipped over from the impact. 

“Whoa, Clarke. What’s the rush?” The bright smile at the sight of his best friend faded as he noticed her cold, distant countenance. 

“They got the radios working. My mom is the one that answered. I - I can’t be in there. So, I’m going to go let the others know that they will be able to talk to their families soon.” Clarke refused to let the tears that welled in her eyes, fall. Shaking her head, she let her eyes wander away from Wells' face and take in the camp. 

More tents had been put up and they were making progress on the smoke house. The wooden wall was being reinforced with scraps of metal that were being salvaged from the surrounding area; pieces that had fallen off on their reentry. There was still so much that needed to be done to make sure they would survive the winter. They needed more clothes and more blankets, and they were running low on dry wood. 

“Oh Clarke, I’m so sorry.” Wells finally spoke after watching her survey their home; knowing her mind was moving in a million different directions, trying to keep herself from thinking about the complicated feelings she had for her mom. He pulled her to his chest. “It will get easier, Clarke. Just give it time.”

Dragging herself away from him, she finally looked up to meet his eyes. Her hand came up to wipe at her dry cheeks as if she had actually let the tears fall. “I’ll never forgive her Wells, I can’t.”

Clarke turned and walked away from him before he could offer her more platitudes. Walking over to Murphy to set up more groups to go out and start collecting what they needed for the day and beyond that, she stopped at groups of kids along the way letting them know what was joyous news for everyone except her. She knew that later she would have to talk to the families of the kids who hadn’t made it, telling them how she had failed to keep them alive. A task she dreaded more than the prospect of talking to her own mother. 

By the end of the week, Raven had managed to set up video comms with the assistance of Sinclair, lead engineer on the ark. The only hiccup had been the massive storm that had tossed the camp about. They were well underway to make sure they had re-secured everything, to replenish the lost supplies and repair what could be repaired, by the time a schedule of phone conferences for the kids had been made.

Taking a deep breath after the conversation she had just had with the last parent of the kids who had died, she turned back to the screen in time to see Chancellor Jaha - Wells’ father - councilman Kane and a few others that she didn’t immediately recall names for. She did notice that her mother had been replaced with Diana Sydney, someone she thought she would never see in the council room again. 

“Clarke, what can you tell us about the ground? What have you learned?” The excited face of Jaha leaned forward, filling up more of the screen as he did so.

“We are doing everything we can do to survive down here, gathering nuts and berries. Trying to preserve as much meat as we can. But the fact of the matter is we will freeze before we starve.” 

Clark darted her eyes over Kane's face on screen to watch him as he fiddled with the tablet just barely on the screen. “Good News on that front. According to old records from before the bombs there is an old outpost not far from the landing site. Here are the coordinates.” He read off the coordinates to Clarke as she made notes on the scrap paper in front of her. 

“Are you sure it will be intact?” Clarke looked back up at the screen.

“Well, it was designed to withstand nuclear warfare so it should be. It may even be able to shelter the hundred until we can send the guard down.” Kane responded. 

“Well, it’s worth a shot.” Clarke sighed, resigning herself to leaving the safety of camp again.

“I’m afraid I have to object.” The nasally voice of Diana came loudly through the speakers. And if the pinching of both Jaha and Kane’s face were any indication, she was being just as loud in the echoing room on the ark. “Project Exodus has been put into effect. The kids should stay put until the guard comes down.” 

Jaha’s eyes narrowed in what must have been Diana’s direction before he responded. “The temperatures are falling every evening. Even if all went according to plan the hundred would freeze to death before help could arrive.”

“Sir,” Clarke cut in unkindly. “Far be it from me to deny anything that might help my people down here, but we have actually taken measures to ensure that we survive with or without your help. However, I agree more supplies would definitely help. We will go check it out. Now if you will excuse me, I’ll go get the next person you need to talk to if you will just give me a name.”

“Clarke, wait.” Jaha called frantically as he noticed Clarke standing in on the screen in front of him. “If you would all clear the room, I’d like a moment alone with Clarke.” 

He paused as the room cleared around him, the other screens going blank as the council moved out of the room. “Clarke, we are so proud of what you have accomplished here. I know your mother would love to -” 

“I have nothing to say to my mother or you. Now please give me the next name so someone who actually wants to talk to their parents, can.” Cutting Jaha off was the easiest thing she had ever done in her life. It was so gratifying that she was unable to keep the corners of her lips from turning up. 

“Clarke, please.” He started again. “It’s time to -” 

She took her headset off setting it down on the counter in full view of the screen, before turning and exiting. She looked for Wells who was standing just outside of the tent. “Your father wouldn’t tell me who is next, why don’t you see if you have better luck. Then come meet me and Murphy in my tent. We have some things to discuss.”

Clarke found Murphy overseeing the last piece of construction on the smokehouse to expand it for more meat. She nodded at him to climb down and come with her. By the time they both made it to her tent, Wells had already arrived and was sitting on the threadbare blanket that made up her bed on the ground. 

“You know, I was thinking we should make raised platforms for beds before the weather gets colder, the ground will leech the warmth right out of us if we keep sleeping directly on the ground for much longer.” 

“That’s a great idea. Why don’t you start working on that?” She smiled softly in his direction. “I guess that leaves me and you Murphy. We got the coordinates to a supply depot from the ark. They think it’ll have stuff we need and maybe even be somewhere we can bunker down in until they come down.” 

“What makes them think that it survived?” The look he gave her was skeptical at best. 

“I asked the same thing, but they said it was built to withstand nuclear warfare so it’s at least worth a shot, right?” She looks over both boys' faces. Wells nodded in agreement but Murphy looked less than thrilled. 

“Okay then, Murphy and I will go check it out. It should only be a day trip so if we leave soon, we should be able to be back before nightfall. Wells you can stay and get some of the kids to start helping build the beds, just in case this place is not inhabitable.” Clarke moved to stand up when Raven came bursting into Clarke’s tent.

“Clarke, Finn got hurt while he was out hunting. Please come quickly. He’s bleeding badly.” Raven fidgeted with her hands.

“Okay, calm down Raven I’m coming. I just need to grab my bag of supplies and I’ll be right there.” Raven nodded as she rushed back out of Clarke’s tent. “Okay Murphy I’m going to go look at Finn and then I’d still like to leave if it’s not too late once I’m done. Give me thirty minutes to assess and treat and if I’m not at the gate by then, then we will go tomorrow.”

Nodding his agreement, the three of them parted ways, thirty minutes later found Murphy and Clarke exiting the gate opposite Wells and his party of delinquents headed to cut down some more trees.

\------------

Bellamy ran his hand through his wild hair. The news of the fires that took out three villages weighed his shoulders down and drew his eyes together. His slow meandering pace followed the sluggish flow of his brain. 

“O, you said they were kids. You said they weren’t warriors.” 

Octavia’s shoulders slouched in discouragement. “I know big brother. What if this is retaliation for what Anya did, though? What if it was just an accident? What if -”

“What if it doesn’t matter anymore. Though we didn’t lose any lives, it easily could have been that.” Slumping into a chair near him, his hands found their way back into his unruly hair. “As it is, we have close to 50 people who have been displaced by their actions. We can’t afford to let this go.” 

Bellamy watched from the corner of his eye as Octavia hastened around the table to his side. Gripping the arm rest tightly. 

“What if we were able to secure peace? Let us try. Send Lincoln to speak with their leader. See if she will agree to meet with Anya. If we bring only weapons that can be hidden so they don’t feel threatened.” 

Bellamy peered down into the hopeful face of his little sister. He knew that she was too trusting. For such a fierce warrior, she had such a kind heart and a free spirit. Her bright green eyes stared up to hold his hesitant brown eyes. He shook his head at the voices of the commanders in his head that were calling out for the Sky Princess’s head on a pike where all could see the consequences for making a move against their people. 

“O. I’m not sure that is a good idea. Anya is not one for listening.” He gripped his head tightly, the other commanders pounding against the walls of his mind. He ground his teeth together against the force being used against his mind. “But if she doesn’t start obeying her commander, she’s not going to like the consequences.”

“See brother, let’s just try. Imagine real peace with these people. Imagine how we could shut down Azgeda’s attempts at a coup.” She grinned excitedly, her warrior braids dancing against her back as she swayed in eagerness. “If they can take down three villages on accident, imagine what they could do on purpose.”

“O, don’t get ahead of yourself. Let’s send Lincoln, since I know this was his idea. See if she will agree to a meeting with Anya.” He stood. It was time for him to go have his war council. They would have back up plans if this fell through. “I will see you later, O. I know you are headed out soon. Take care of yourself. Tell Lincoln that he needs to be careful.”

Launching herself at her brother, Octavia hugged him as hard as she could. “You be careful Big Brother. Me, I’ll be just fine, but those boring meetings you are in just might kill you with how dull they are.” 

She laughed as he swatted at her. Letting her pass him out the door and into the hallway. He adjusted the sign of the commander that sat between his brows. He turned to the page that tailed him “Bring Tristan to the council room. I find myself in need of him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, we got in some more of Bellamy and Octavia. We are moving along swiftly so I hope the story isn’t feeling to rushed... let me know below if I need to slow it down some. We still have a couple chapters ahead of us before Clarke and Bellamy meet.


	4. You Think That I Don’t Notice How Your Brush Your Hair Out of Your Blue Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I set up a meeting with the grounders.” His shoulders hunched forward, long hair covering his eyes. 
> 
> The statement caught her off guard, the air whooshing out of her in a slightly panicked breath. “I don’t understand. A meeting? How? 
> 
> Dun, dun, dunnnnnnnn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any errors or choppiness. I just wanted to get this out before the end of the day.

By the time Murphy and Clarke had arrived back at camp the effects of the strange hallucinogenic nuts had worn off both of them and they could see the rest of camp was in various stages of coming down from their strange high. Finn and Raven were attempting to usher the last of them off to bed. 

After dropping a pile of blankets at the edge of the fire, Murphy tossed a bag filled with the guns they were able to salvage from the outpost down next to his feet. The delinquents who were still awake looked at Clarke and Murphy in curiosity.

Wells walked over to open the bag on the ground. Laughing to himself in disbelief. “Guns?”

Clarke nodded to him with a slight smile. Raising her voice so the ones that were still awake could hear her she said, “Yes, guns. But these are weapons okay? Not toys. We have to be prepared to hand these over when the guard arrives but for now, they are going to help us stay safe.”

“And there is more where they came from. Miller and Connor, you are with me in the morning to retrieve the rest of them.” Murphy rested his hand against Wells’ shoulder. “Not too shabby for a day’s work, huh? How did the bed making come along because that place is definitely not inhabitable.” 

“Not as far as I’d hoped but we have a bunch of kids who were happy to work on them. We should hopefully have some made and usable in the next couple of days.” Standing up and shrugging Murphy’s hand off his shoulder. “We had an interesting day here. People were seeing all sorts of weird things, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to head off to get some sleep.” 

“Yeah, me as well. I’m just going to check Finn’s injury then I’m headed to bed.” She waved herself away from them. “Good night, guys. And Murphy, please put those guns up before you go to bed. We will need to start working with the kids on how to handle them tomorrow.”

Not stopping to hear if either of them had a response for her, she headed across camp to snag Finn’s arm. She dragged him back towards his tent tapping against his rib cage with a mumbled “I need to check this.” 

He stared at her face with longing he didn’t deserve to have. His face pinched together as she pulled the old bandage off his chest. The twinge of pain seemed to bring him up and away from his lingering desire for her.

“Guns? Really?” Finn’s eyes drew further together, shoulders tensing with each question.

“We have to be prepared.” Refusing to meet his eyes Clarke surveyed the torn edges of the poorly stitched wound. 

“Yeah. Our ancestors wanted to be prepared too. So, they built bombs.” Finn’s voice became quiet with tension and annoyance to match the rest of his posture.

“Rifles are not nukes.” She rubbed some more of the seaweed paste over the reddened, tender flesh, drawing a satisfying hiss from Finn.

Finn’s hand came up to brush the hair out of Clarke’s face. Drawing her chin up to make her look into his weary hazel eyes. “In Murphy’s hands they are. Come on, Clarke. You can’t rely on him.” 

“There is no perfect answer here, Finn.” She whispered back to him.

“There is a grounder that has just been watching the camp for days. If they all wanted us dead, he would have attacked any number of us already while we left camp.” Her shock that anyone else had noticed the strange presence caused Clarke to pull herself away from the injured boy.

“I know.” She turned to head out of the tent. “But Finn, I trust Murphy.” 

“Clarke. You are leading us down a dangerous road. I wish you would have talked with me about it first.” Finn’s voice took on a hard edge. His irritation showed in the fist that clenched at his sides as Clarke viewed him from over her shoulder. 

“I wish you would have talked to me about a lot of things.” Clarke said just loud enough for him to hear as she strode away from the pain she felt. Clarke saw Raven as she headed back to her tent with a quick “make sure he gets rest” as they passed one another. 

The camp continued to make progress over the next several days. Bed frames were popping up in tents at a surprisingly quick pace, more and more food was getting stored, kids continued regular communication with their family and training with the guns had lifted spirits. The grounders had made no further attacks and they were quickly approaching Unity Day. The drop ship full of their people would be coming down less than 2 days after the Unity Day Celebration on the ark. 

Clarke was trying to prepare herself for the arrival of her mother, knowing that with that she could no longer avoid having a very real conversation with the person that she would avoid the rest of her life if she could. But there was no way Abigail Griffin would not come down on that ship. While they definitely needed the guard to come to protect them, they also needed doctors to try to start to understand the world they were going to be living in and how to use it to heal themselves from injury and illness. 

When Unity Day was finally upon them, Jasper and Monty came hurtling out of their shared tent exclaiming how they had made their best batch of moonshine yet and they were going to call it “Unity Juice”. Mid way through the pageant the coms shut off and all the teens that had begun drinking already let out a cheer. Their excitement brought a smile to her face; knowing that help was coming soon she finally felt like she could breathe out again. 

\------------ 

Midway through some celebration Lincoln spotted the long-haired teen that had broken their leader's heart had slipped out of the camp, looking around for something. Not sure when he would get a better chance to get a message to their leader, he dropped out of the tree he had been watching from and silently made his way around to flank the boy. 

Clasping a sharp dagger at his side, Lincoln slid into view. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for you. I’m assuming that you are the one who has been stalking our camp.” The man looked nervously towards the dagger in Lincoln’s hand. 

“And if I am?” Lincoln leaned ever so slightly forward in tension. 

Lincoln watched as the young man tried not to flinch at the implied threat in his voice, Finn’s eyes flicking down the horn at the grounder’s hip. “You’re the one that blew that when your people were hunting us. You saved our lives not more than a week ago. I have to believe there’s more like you.” 

Lincoln maintained his silent stare, refusing to answer the boy’s implied question. Unable to give away more than what Octavia had gotten from their Heda. Knowing that Octavia was trying to corral the uncooperative Anya into a meeting at this very moment. Lincoln knew that he couldn’t let this opportunity pass to get to their leader. 

“Listen,” Finn breathed out. “If the two of us can get along, then maybe there is hope. Learn from history instead of repeating it.”

“And how is that going to help?” Knowing the power of hope and knowing that he had the young boy exactly where he needed him, Lincoln sheathed the dagger at his hip below the horn.

“Starting with no more killing.”

“I don’t have the ability to call a truce.” 

“Then bring someone who does.” Finn took a few agitated steps away from and then back towards Lincoln. “Look, the rest of our people are coming soon and because of all the violence we have been a part of they are sending mostly soldiers, the people that enforce our laws. Where we come from it’s about survival at all cost. They kill for minor infractions and if they feel threatened. They will start a war. Neither of us want that. Once they get here. It will be too late, but if they see we have peace then maybe we have a chance to stay that way.”

“All right, you bring your leader and I’ll bring one of ours.” Lincoln nodded. He had the meeting secured. At least he hoped this boy had enough pull to get her out of camp and to the bridge. 

“Clarke?” Finn sounded nervous. Maybe he should not have felt so sure a moment ago. He still had to hope that they could accomplish this. 

“The blonde, yes.” 

\------------

Clarke was seated at a table with a couple of the other delinquents playing a drinking game when Finn’s hand flashed out grabbing the metal washer they were using in place of a coin as it left her nose. Her eyes jumped up to his face in question. 

“What do you need?” Clarke’s eyebrows drew together in annoyance, her tone frosty. 

“Let’s take a walk.” Ignoring the hostility from Clarke, Finn held out his hand.

“Sorry?” Clarke glanced down at the hand that was stuck out in front of her before looking back to Finn’s face with a raised eyebrow. “Is everything okay?” She gave in and stood up from her seat at the anxious look on Finn’s face. 

“I need you to come with me, but I can’t tell you why.” He said in a low voice as he leaned towards her as he pulled her away from the table. He looked around as if to make sure that no one could hear what he was saying. 

“Finn, tell me.” Feeling the annoyance tightening in her chest again. She gave him an exasperated look as she pulled away from his demanding fingers that tried to pull her from camp. “Don’t touch me.”

“I set up a meeting with the grounders.” His shoulders hunched forward, long hair covering his eyes. 

The statement caught her off guard, the air whooshing out of her in a slightly panicked breath. “I don’t understand. A meeting? How?”

Finn’s eyes connected with hers, his hand swept the hair back out of his eyes. She noted that his hair had been cut since the last time she had actually been able to bring herself to look at him.

“The grounder that has been stalking the camp. His name is Lincoln, they speak English. He is getting his leader to talk to us. They want you there because you are our leader.”

Her eyebrows shot up into her hairline before her lips twisted into a tight line. “We can’t have peace with people who have done nothing but try to kill us since we arrived.”

His face mimicked hers pinching his face into a guarded one. “You really want to start a war with them? Because if we don’t have peace before the guard arrives, that’s where we are headed. I think we can do better than the first time around. I trust him.”

She backed away from his angry face. “I don’t.” She shook her head as she considered his words. He was right, ultimately, unfortunately. She wanted to stay so mad at him that she could never find anything to agree with him on. The hurt in her chest still brought her twinges of pain when she caught him out of the side of her eye. But he was right. They had to live with these people for good or bad. “But if we go, we are bringing back up.”

“No. We agreed on no weapons and if we’re going to do this, we need to give it a fair chance.” 

The hope that sprung up on his face made her unruly heart race in her chest. She knew that she was going to have to lie to him. They couldn’t afford to not bring people. “Okay. I’ll get my pack and meet you at the gate.”

“Okay.” He smiled at her and headed towards the gate. 

Clarke skirted around the camp looking for Murphy and Wells having a heated discussion where she had last left them not even an hour ago. They both quieted when they noticed the look on her face. “Murphy, I need you. Finn set up a meeting with the Grounders. I’m leaving with him to go talk to them.”

Wells wheeled back with a hiss as Murphy’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Murphy’s quick mind, ever unable to filter his words, replied with a “Because you think that impaling people on spears is code for “let’s make friends”?” He shook his head. “Have you lost your damn mind?”

Sighing she knew they weren’t going to like this. “I think this might be our best chance to avoid a war. We do have to live with these people.”

Wells jumped into the conversation finally but with more intensity than she was expecting. “They will probably just string you up and gut you as a warning.”

“That’s why I need you. I need you to follow us and provide back up.” She nodded, knowing that it was a very real possibility. 

“Does Finn know about this?” Murphy looked at her skeptically. He knew she rarely thought clearly around the boy. 

“No. He doesn’t need to know about some things, just like I didn’t apparently.” She looked up from the spot she had been staring at on the ground, to look in his eyes. “And Murphy, bring guns.” He just nodded back at her before she turned away from them and headed towards the gate. 

The whole way through the woods she couldn’t help but look over her shoulders looking for a threat. Now that the shadow had come out and made contact she felt less and less safe as the seconds ticked by on her father’s tattered old watch that sat on her wrist. 

As the sun began to lighten the sky, they reached a bridge made of a hard material that was covered in leafy vines. Finn pulled her up to the hulking man that must have been Lincoln. He looked similar to the man she had seen step out of the forest all those weeks ago. Though he had a pinched sort of concerned look on his face, Clarke could feel the kindness shining in his eyes. He turned his kind eyes away from her to look at the empty space opposite them on the bridge.

A pretty brunette shot out of the tree line and ran towards Lincoln. Her bright green eyes concealed behind a copious amount of black face paint. Her long hair was pulled back into a vast amount of tiny braids between the voluminous layers. Clarke looked away, her self-esteem taking a hit when she realized she was surrounded by pretty brunettes everywhere. 

Lincoln and the newcomer spoke to each other in a language that Clarke had never heard before. She felt like she recognized some of the intentions of the words, but she couldn’t be sure. When Lincoln glanced over the head of the girl that was in his arms, Clarke’s eyes immediately shot towards the other side. 

Several seconds later three people rode in on horses; animals she had never dreamed she would be able to see in person. “Oh, my God. Horses!” Clarke whispered to herself.

Clarke was so caught up in visually admiring the horses at the edge of the bridge she didn’t even realize they were all armed to the teeth, until Finn called attention to it. 

Nodding Lincoln agreed with Finn. “I was told there wouldn’t be any.” Lincoln’s eyes shot towards the brunette at his hip who only looked back at him sheepishly. 

“Well it’s too late now,” Clarke conceded with a sigh. Finn gripped her hand as Clarke started to move towards the other grounder who had dismounted and was stepping forward. 

Lincoln’s arm shot out to grab Finn. “She goes alone.”

Clarke extracted her hand from his tight grip. “I’ll be fine. It’s time to do better, right?”

Clarke walked towards the woman who was covered in dark furs. Her black face paint, not as deep in color or as defined as the other female grounder. Her tan skin against her unkempt sun-bleached hair did nothing to detract from the sense of entitled beauty that rolled off her. 

Reaching a handout Clarke introduced herself before withdrawing the hand after a few awkward seconds. 

“Clarke? I’m Anya.” The glare never left the tan face in front of her. 

Pulling her shoulders back, Clarke steeled herself and pushed a quiet breath from between her lips. “I think we started off on the wrong foot. We want to find a way to live together in peace.”

The snark rolled off of Anya as she crossed her arms over her chest, face unimpressed. “I understand, you started a war that you don’t know how to end.”

A surprised look jumped across Clarke’s face before she could stop it. “No. We didn’t start anything. You attacked us for no reason.”

“No reason? The missiles you launched burned three villages to the ground.”

Clarke gasped. They had hit villages. Her body curved forward in disbelief, they hadn’t even considered that in their haste. “The flares? No. That was supposed to be a signal to our families. We had no idea-”

Anya's arms dropped to her sides as she interrupted Clarke. “You’re invaders. You landed in our territory.”

Clarke crossed her arms over her chest, comforting herself at the realization that they might have hurt innocent people in their effort to try to save their own. “We didn’t know any people had survived this long. We thought it was uninhabited.”

Huffing Anya glared at Clarke. The mask of hostility pinching Anya’s features into a hawk-like appearance. “What you have done, those things, are all acts of war.”

Conceding, Clarke nodded, letting her arms fall to her sides again. “I see your point. That’s why we need to put an end to all of this.”

Anya nodded towards the grounder couple behind Clarke. “Octavia and Lincoln said there are more of you coming down. Warriors?”

Straightening her spine, she nodded her head. She pushed back the unpleasant information now that they were getting to the meat of the conversation. She couldn’t afford to be distracted. “The Guard, yes. But also, doctors, farmers, engineers. We can help each other but not if we’re at war.”

Anya looked smug as she stared down Clarke. “Can you promise that these new arrivals won’t attack us. That they will respect the terms you and I agree on?”

Clarke’s eyes shot down to the ground before she could meet the hawk-eyed stare Anya was drilling into her. “We lost contact with them today, but we will make every effort to intercept them before they have a chance to interact with your people.”

“And if you don’t? Why would I agree to an alliance your people can break the moment they get here?”

Leaning forward in earnest, Clarke said. “If you fire first those people coming down won’t bother to negotiate. Our technology, you will have no chance. They will wipe you out.”

Clarke didn’t think she was supposed to hear the mumbled “They wouldn’t be the first to try.” 

Anya’s hand shot out towards her side of the bridge and then suddenly a flurry of activity behind her started with a rustling of leaves. Before Clarke could even look behind her, she heard Jasper shout. “Run, Clarke, they are going to shoot you!”

An arrow hit right beside her feet before she heard the loud popping sound of guns being shot off in retaliation. Clarke saw an arrow hit Lincoln in the shoulder as he stepped forward to pull her out of the way of the projectiles, shoving her towards Finn. Finn grabbed her and they both ran towards the woods under the cover of gun fire. 

Looking back briefly, as they breached the woods, Clarke saw the young woman who must have been the Octavia that Anya had mentioned. She watched as the pretty brunette hovered worriedly over Lincoln, breaking off the shaft of the arrow. Guilt ran heavy though Clarke’s body as she turned away and took off further into the woods. 

Finn and Clarke ran until they met up with the other group. Murphy gripped her shoulders worriedly before sending an angry look at Finn, reminiscent of the glare he gave her on their first day on the ground. “Got anything to say?”

Finn stepped into Murphy’s space. “Yeah, I said no guns!”

Clarke put her hands up between them to separate them before shooting a look to Finn. “I told you we couldn’t trust the grounders. I was right.”

Raven stepped towards the side of Clarke that Finn was on, grabbing him and pulling him away from Clarke’s reach, though that didn’t stop them from over hearing her words. “Why didn’t you tell me what you were up to?”

Finn’s glare dropped from his face, he looked at Clarke briefly before meeting Raven’s eyes. “I tried, but you were too busy making bullets for your guns.”

“You’re lucky she brought that.” Murphy shouted at Finn from around Clarke. “They came there to kill you, Finn.”

Finn’s face turned hostile again as he turned towards Murphy. “You don’t know that!”

Wells, ever the political mind, stepped forward cutting through the line of sight for Finn and Murphy. Though his words were sharp his tone was gentle. “I think the arrow that hit the ground next to Clarke’s feet told us that for sure.”

Sighing in resignation, Finn nodded. “Well, if we weren’t at war before. We are now.”

Finn turned to look at Clarke, his face a picture of devastation and longing. “You didn’t have to trust the grounders. You just had to trust me.” He turned around and started walking back towards camp, shoulders hunched forward. Clarke started after him until an explosion sounded from above them.

The whole group turned to look towards the sky. Finding an opening in the forest cover they spotted a ship making its way to Earth.

Wells tossed his arm over Clarke’s shoulders, pulling her in tight to his side. “The Exodus ship? Clarke, your mom's early.”

They watched the ship sink lower and lower down, the excitement palpable until the thrusters failed to engage, and the parachutes didn’t open. Clarke gripped Wells' shirt where her hand rested by his hip. “Wait. Too fast. No parachute? Wells, something's wrong.” 

They all turned and ran back towards camp. They almost got to the camp when the explosion from the ship meeting the Earth, rocked them off their feet. Clarke fumbled to her feet; she wrenched her wayward hair out of her face. “No, no, no.” 

Her whole body shook as tremors ran down the length of her spine. She felt tense fingers grasp her shoulder. She knew someone was talking to her, but she couldn’t hear them. Her vision grew hazy as tears filled her eyes. “I didn’t even want to talk to her. I wouldn’t let her even try to explain.”

She looked up at the dark eyes that stared down at her. Wells just gripped her harder, pulling her closer to his body. Tucking her head against his chest with her ear over his heart. Hoping that she could use the steady beats to slow her rising panic. He had no words for her; she’d lost everyone but him now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well we got through the initial meeting with grounders. More excitement to come. Still a couple chapters off from the Bellarke meeting. No Bellamy this chapter but we will check back in with him on the next.


	5. The Way You Smile When You Try To Bend The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrived back in camp the kids who stayed behind had broken into an excited chatter. One of the younger kids that had been clinging to Wells throughout the last several weeks came flying out of the drop ship to bounce slightly on her toes in front of Clarke and Wells. 
> 
> “Wells! Pascal came back!” 
> 
> Wells cocked his head, “He came back?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this!? Two chapters in a weekend. That's right. I hardly slept but here you are!
> 
> *Edited cuz apparently I need more sleep before I post things... hopefully I caught all the mistakes this time

Bellamy strode into the room where his generals from every clan sat, not bothering to acknowledge any of the greetings they gave him. His body was full of hard lines of tension and his jaw worked his muscles up and down as he ground his teeth together. 

“I want the sky people gone.” He ground out as he sat at the head of the table. 

Everyone bowed their heads. “Yes, Heda.” 

“I want them all dead, especially the Sky Princess.” He finally looked up at his generals. “Tristan, tell me what Trikru has planned. I warned you, that if they failed to honor our peace talks then we would show them our strength.” 

Tristan’s hawkeyed features stared up at Bellamy. “Heda, we are going to release the prisoner with the sickness. Once it takes hold Anya and her warriors are going to attack, full force.”

He templed his hands, tucking his fingers under his chin. “You believe that she will get it done?”

“I believe that Anya is mad enough now that they will indeed get it done.” He inclined his head towards Bellamy.

“If she fails this time, Tristan, you will be going to Trikru and you will not return until you see it done.”

“Yes, Heda.” Tristan bowed as did the remainder of the room. Bellamy rose without a word and swept out of the room just as quickly as he had rushed in. 

\------------

The next morning passed Clarke by in a fog as a group of them made their way to the crash site. Raven was looking for something called a Black Box. She wandered around the wreckage not really seeing or hearing the others as her eyes skipped over each charred set of remains. 

The first thing she did remember was Raven calling out to her as she peered into the leaking piece of debris. Her eyes turning up to meet Raven’s, “Rocket fuel?”

Raven looked at her in concern as she nodded. “Hydrazine. It’s highly unstable in its non-solid form. If this stuff meets fire, we're all pink mist.”

Raven reached down and soaked a cloth in the Hydrazine as it dripped out of the tank. She called out “fire in the hole” as she threw the wet cloth into an area away from the other kids that was still smoldering from the crash. She called out to Murphy that they needed to clear the area and Clarke sunk back into her head as she watched the rest of the kids fall into line as they began to leave the crash site.

By the time they arrived back in camp the kids who stayed behind had broken into an excited chatter. One of the younger kids that had been clinging to Wells throughout the last several weeks came flying out of the dropship to bounce slightly on her toes in front of Clarke and Wells. 

“Wells! Pascal came back!” 

Wells cocked his head, “He came back?”

The tone of her young voice raised in pitch. “Yeah! He came back. I mean he’s all bloody, but he came back. At first, we thought he was a grounder when he hit the trip wire and some of the boys went out to check but it was Pascal! Connor and Derek found him and brought him inside the dropship.”

“Is Trina with him?” Wells crouched down to the little girl’s height, gently brushing her hair back out of her face. 

The little girl dug her toe into the ground, unable to meet his eyes. “No, we didn’t see her.”

Murphy turned to look at a couple of the gunners with the little girl's answer. “Take some guns. Pair up. Search the woods around here.” 

Having some of the answers that she needed, she moved around the rest of the group into the dropship. She shook her head to clear it, knowing she could not allow her grief to miss something that could be vital to their survival. Seeing the crowd gathered around the young man who was writhing in pain. “Alright, everyone clear the area. Get outside.”

Clarke leaned down to check the boy. He was covered in blood, one eye swollen; cuts and abrasions all over his face and arms. His clothes were torn and bloodied. Clarke lifted his hands to inspect them and noticed the ravaged nail beds where the nails had been torn away. His chest was heaving as he tried to draw breath.

“Pascal, what happened to you?” Clarke ran her hands gently over his hair, dropping her voice low to be as soothing as possible.

He opened his one good eye to look up at Clarke. “G- grounde-ers. They, they took us. Me and T-trina. Tortured u-us. Kill- killed her.”

“What did you tell them?” Murphy’s voice made Clarke jump, not realizing that he had followed her in. 

“Murphy.” Clarke turned around and chided the dark-haired boy behind her. Pascal cut Clarke off before she could say anything else.

“Everything.” Pascal gripped Clarke’s arm, pulling her face back towards him. “And then they killed Trina. They just - just killed her. I tried- tried to -” 

Clarke shushed the distraught man, whispering reassurances to him as she tried to pass water through his lips. She grabbed a cloth and started to wipe away the blood that coated his face after getting a little bit of water into him. Clarke met Murphy’s eyes silently over the prone boy. 

Clarke started feeling nauseous later in the day after trying to get Pascal into some semblance of rest. She took a moment to head over to the red and white tent that housed the radio. Hoping the Ark has started communicating again and that someone in Medical could help her. Not her mom though, her mom was dead. 

Looking up Clarke was startled to see Raven sitting and fiddling with the radio. “Oh. Sorry. I didn't know anyone was here.”

Raven turned to look at Clarke at the sound of her voice. Her eyebrows furrowed at the despondent look on Clarkes face. “You okay?”

Clarke shook her head to clear the sudden drifting thoughts. The nausea started rising in her throat again. Grief could do funny things, and Clarke had plenty to grieve. “Yeah.”

Raven turned back to the radio musing on how they still hadn’t heard anything from the Ark. “It's like they shut it down from their side. It could be solar flares blocking the signal.”

Clarke moved further in the tent. “But you don't think so.”

Raven shook her head, finally turning fully towards Clarke. “I got a bad feeling.”

Clarke’s hand came up to her stomach. Nodding in agreement “Yeah, there's a lot of that going around.” Clarke turned to leave before Raven’s voice calling her name stopped her in her tracks.

“I'm sorry about your mom.” Raven finally looked up into Clarke’s eyes. She stood up quickly. “Oh, my God, Clarke, your eyes”

Clarke reached up to wipe the tears off her cheeks, bringing her hand away from her face she saw the blood staining her fingertips. A commotion from outside the tent and Connor’s voice calling her name had her rushing outside of the tent. Conner was stooped over coughing up blood. 

He looked up to Clarke’s eyes, his own widened in fear. “It won't stop.”

Raven came to stand beside Clarke. “Clarke! What's happening?” 

Another kid from the other side of camp started coughing. Clarke stood still as she surveyed the camp. The nausea, the bloody tears, coughing up blood; they had finally found the retaliation from the grounders. Turning to look at Raven while she walked away from her. “Raven, get away...stay away from me.”

Raven looked confused. “What?”

Clarke looked back at the boys who were coughing up blood. “They were the ones that brought Pascal in. Get them in the dropship now” 

Clarke moved as quickly as she could back into the dropship before falling to her knees near Pascal. She shook him awake. “Pascal. Hey. I need you to look at me.” She brushed his hair out of his face. “I need you to tell me how you got away from the grounders.”

He looked up at her. “I don't know. I woke up, and they forgot to lock my cage. There was no one there, so I took off.” 

She looked away from him. “They let you go.”

She heard the quick swish of the fabric as Murphy strode in. “What is going on, Clarke.”

“Biological Warfare.” She looked at him. “You were waiting for the Grounders to retaliate for the bridge? This is it. Pascal is the weapon” 

Pascal’s weak voice came floating up. “I didn’t know about this. I swear.”

“You didn’t know!” Murphy shouted as he moved forward, reaching out towards Pascal.

“Hey, Murphy! No! Whatever this is, it spreads through contact.” That stopped Murphy in his tracks. The swishing of the fabric door drew their attention back to the entrance of the dropship. 

Finn entered her line of sight, moving swiftly towards her. “Clarke.”

Clarke walked backwards from him with her hands raised. “Finn, you shouldn't be here. No one should.”

Finn shook his head but stopped moving towards her. “I heard you were sick. Clarke, what is this?”

She looked up at Murphy as she answered. “I don't know, some kind of hemorrhagic fever. We just need to contain it before-” The coughing from Derek cut her off.

She swayed as she turned to move towards the coughing boy. Finn reached out towards her to steady her. “Hey, don't touch me. You could get sick. Wash your hands. Now.”

She grabbed the moonshine and poured it over his hands. They turned at the sound of Derek retching up blood. Finn looked up at her in shock. “What the hell is happening to him?”

She looked around at the others. “I don’t know.”

Derek vomited more blood, his chest heaving desperately. Clarke moved in closer as Derek struggled to try and sit up before falling over with a gasping breath as he clutched his chest. His eyes widened as his breath got more and more strangled. He finally stopped breathing. 

Murphy looked at her in surprise. “Is he -”

“He's dead.” She met Murphy’s eyes. Holding out the moonshine again she poured it on Murphy’s hands as well “Here. Alcohol. Hold out your hand.”

“What do we do?” Finn’s voice broke her eye connection with Murphy. 

She looked at Finn before meeting Murphy’s eyes again. “Quarantine. Round up everyone who had contact with him. Bring them here.”

“And everyone they had contact with?" Murphy’s voice took on an edge of hysteria. 

“Well, we have to start somewhere.” Clarke’s voice turned soothing as she looked at her gathered friends. She turned to Connor who still had blood pouring from his mouth. “Connor, who was with you when you found him? Who carried him in? Think.”

“Just us.” He told her. Finn turned and left swiftly.

\------------

Lincoln had been scouting the area surrounding the sky people, when he saw the prisoner covered from head to toe in blood. The young man was running as quickly as he could, looking over his shoulder at every turn. 

Lincoln felt his heart plummet into his stomach. Anya had been the first to make the leap to aggression and Octavia must have been unable to convince her brother of the truth. Moving quickly, he flew across the brush hoping to make it back to the camp before the boy did. 

By the time he reached the camp walls they had already escorted the young man inside. He knew it was too late. He vowed to sit and watch until the last of their people was gone, to hold silent sentry to what was sure to be a bloody end to the resilient sky people. To tell of their story when they were all gone. What he didn’t expect was less than 3 hours later, when the sickness had truly begun to spread, was for the long-haired peacemaker to seek him out. 

Finn gestured to Lincoln in greeting. “We found the kid your people sent to infect us. People are dying, Lincoln. Please give us the cure.”

Lincoln looked at the boy in surprise; surprise that this boy thought that he was one of the good grounders in such surety that he’d approach him for the cure that didn’t exist. “There is no cure.”

“So, you’re just gonna let my people die?” The lines of anger drew Finn’s face into a fierce scowl.

Shaking his head. He wasn’t sure how this boy had been one of the strong ones if he had such a weak countenance. “The sickness passes quickly. Few are immune. We use it to soften the battlefield. Though I am surprised you are one of the strong ones”

Finn’s scowl slid off his face to a look of confusion. “The battlefield?”

Lincoln was sure this boy would never have made it as a warrior. “They will attack at first light. It is our way.”

\------------

A few hours later Clarke was standing on the edge of the ramp to the dropship. Wells' concerned eyes looked at her. “You got enough food in there, water?”

Clarke’s soft eyes met his. “Yeah.” The corners of her mouth lifted. “Some medicine might be nice.”

He lifted his in response to her. “I'll see what I can do.”

Wells turned to move towards the exit of camp when a kid turned to look at him with bleeding eyes. Wells staggered away from him, urging him to move into the dropship. The other delinquents stood up and started to trip over each other to get away. Before another girl collapsed into someone’s arms, coughing blood up over everyone who was close. 

The panic that swept the camp quickly turned violent as kids pulled guns on each other. Wells and Murphy tried to get the group to calm down and think straight. Clarke walked back into the dropship to grab a gun, firing two shots to get the group’s attention she started to walk down the ramp, swaying ever so gently as she did. “This is exactly what the grounders want. Don't you see that? They don't have to kill us if we kill each other first.”

When one of the kids turned a gun on Clarke, Murphy elbowed the kid in the throat and turned to her. “I hate to state the obvious, but your quarantine isn’t working.”

Clarke swayed more noticeably as Wells called out her name. Finn jogged back into camp up to the edge of the group. Unable to help herself as weakness raced through her body, she pitched forward. Finn darted forward to catch her before she hit the ground. Raven’s shriek to not touch her reached her ears as he swept her feet out from under her. 

“She’s right let me go. I’m okay.” Clarke tried to resist his hold. 

“No, you’re not.” He said as he lifted her higher. “There is no cure. They don’t use the sickness to kill. They-”

Murphy cut Finn off pointing angrily at the dead bodies that had accumulated off to the side of the dropship. “Tell that to them!”

Finn’s teeth ground together as he bounced Clarke up in her arms. “They use the sickness to soften the battlefield. They are attacking at first light. Come on, let’s get you in the dropship.” 

Clarke’s head lolled onto Finn’s shoulder as she struggled to open her eyes. “What do I have to do to stop you from coming in here?”

“Get better.” He gazed down at her with a soft smile on his face. “If I’m not sick by now, then I’m probably immune.”

Finn set her down on an empty hammock that used to hold Pascal’s body before he succumbed to his injuries and the fever. 

“What else did Lincoln tell you?” Clarke used all her energy to look up at Finn. “I’m assuming that’s how you know.”

Finn brushed some hair out of her face before running his thumbs along the skin under her eyes. She must have looked grotesque; she knew the blood still sat in her eyes from the red tint she had to her vision. “The virus doesn't last long.”

Clarke tried to move out of the hammock before Finn’s hands moved down to her shoulders. Pressing her back into the hammock. She conceded for a moment before she started to struggle again. “They need to stay hydrated.”

Finn’s hands swept over her face again. “ _ You _ need to stay hydrated." His voice, placating. 

Clarke leaned up to sip the water from the cup that one of the recovering kids, brought over. “Okay. Them, too. Please?”

The kid nodded and headed off to get the others who were still bed bound water. Clarke pleaded with Finn to take the healthy ones with them and leave. His eyes soften on her face. His only response was, “If you think that's even a possibility, you don't know me very well.”

Clarke’s foggy, fever filled eyes drank in Finn’s face. Her hand coming up to brush his face with a soft touch. “I know you,” her words whispered before her hand dropped back to her side.

Murphy eyes flicked between the two of them before offering up “At this rate, when the Grounders get here, there won't be anyone left to fight back."

Clarke’s eyes drifted away from Finn’s face to meet Murphy’s. “That's the point.”

Clarke could feel Finn’s eyes scanning her face. As her eyes drifted closed, she heard Finn whisper “Then we slow them down.” before he turned and strode out of the dropship and she slipped off to sleep. 

The next time Clarke found herself awake; Murphy was struggling to breath in a cot across the room. She moved over to him and took the water from the young girl who was trying to get him to sit up enough to drink

He looked up at her; his face paler than she thought he could ever be. “You feeling better?”

She nodded at him with a soft, “yeah.”

“Finn and Jasper are going to blow up the bridge, buy us some time.” He looked down at his hands. “It’s almost dawn, we should get everyone inside. Close the door, maybe the grounders will think we aren’t home.”

She looked over at him in surprise. “Not everyone is sick.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Sick is better than dead.”

She looked back at him, mirroring his expression. “You don't think Finn and Jasper are gonna pull it off?”

He just sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. “Do you?”

She sighed but didn’t answer the question. Standing up, she walked toward the entrance with a soft “I'll get everyone inside.” 

Clarke walked outside and called to the camp to make their way into the dropship. Anyone still feeling healthy to make their way up to the upper levels. It took some time, but they got everyone into the ship with enough rations and water for them to stay locked in for at least 48 hours.

By the time Clarke was finished loading everyone into the ship, Murphy was up and moving. He came to stand beside her, looking out at everything they built so far. Clarke was just about to say something to that effect when they heard the explosion. The dust that rose above the trees following the sound.

“They did it.” Murphy sounded as surprised as she was sure she looked. 

“I am become death, destroyer of worlds.” Clarke's eyes stared down the cloud of dust in the air. 

At the sound of the explosion the kids started to file back out of the drop ship away from those who were still clinging to sickness, hesitantly returning to their posts. Clarke finally took a second to sit herself on the edge of the ramp. 

\------------

Bellamy paced back and forth in front of Tristan. His anger was a force that pushed Tristan back from his Heda. 

“You are telling me that, this - this girl. That she - she blew our people up?” Bellamy’s hands yanked at his hair as he paced. “That she took out dozens of our people in seconds.” 

Tristan stood silent with his hands clasped behind his back. Unwilling to answer and risk the commander’s wrath. 

“Well,” Bellamy stopped to stare at Tristan. A glare firm on his face. “Are you going to answer me or not.”

“Yes Heda.” Tristan sneered. “This skai gada blew up the bridge with our people on it, but our warriors did not see her at the bridge, only her warriors.”

“As you would expect. This is why leaders are leaders, Tristan. So, we can make the hard calls.” He resumed his pacing. “Tristan, she must answer for what she’s done. Take 300 of our warriors and get me her head.” 

“Sha, Heda.” Tristan nodded. 

Bellamy looked at Tristan, a fierce glare settled on his face. “I want it done by the end of the week.”

“Sha, Heda.” Tristan bowed before he swiftly exited the room, leaving Bellamy to continue pacing the room as his long dark cape swept out behind him. 

He couldn’t believe that this little girl who couldn’t even call herself a warrior could counter him at every move. He’d have been impressed if he wasn’t so frustrated with her. She was making him look like a fool before all his people. Tensions between clans were straining at the bounds of the coalition, and they couldn’t afford for them to snap. It would mean the end of him. 

\------------

Clarke turned to Murphy as he scrutinized the people on the first watch, switching out with the second. “It's been two days. Maybe the bomb at the bridge scared them off for good.”

He raised an eyebrow at her with an amused smile on his lips. “You believe that?”

She smiled back at him, shaking his head. “No. They're coming.”

“Jasper thinks he can cook up some more gunpowder if he gets some sulfur, and Raven says she can turn that into landmines.” He shoulder checked her as his amusement bubbled up out of his throat. “So be careful where you step.”

Clarke rolled her eyes at him, bumping him back with her shoulder. 

“What I really need is a thousand more of her tin can bombs I can roll into their village and blow those Grounders to hell.” Murphy sighed almost wistfully. “That's what they want to do to us.”

She shook her head at him. “Can’t believe we survived a hundred years just so we could slaughter each other.” Turning her head towards him, scanning his face. “There has to be another way. Any word from the Ark?”

He shook his head apologetically. “No. Radio silence. They must have finally run out of air.”

“Maybe my mom was lucky being on the Exodus ship. At least it was quick.” The weight of her grief drew her eyes to the ground as her toes kicked the leaf litter around. “No one is coming down to save us.” 

“Oh, Clarke.” He shrugged his arm over her shoulder. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

She sniffled a little but refused to let the tears fall from her eyes. She stepped out of his embrace just before the sound of a fire roaring behind them reached her ears as electrified shouts of the kids rose up. She and Murphy took off towards the fire. 

“What happened?” Clarke grabbed one of the girls standing at the front, closest to the fire. 

The girl just shrugged her shoulders. Clarke raised her voice. “Okay everyone, we can’t get enough water on this to put it out. Clear everything flammable away from it and I need some people to keep watch on it to make sure it doesn’t spread.”

By the time the fire had gone out it was clear that they could not salvage any of the smoke house and all of the food in it was gone. Clarke turned to Murphy with a look, knowing he wasn’t going to like the next words out of her mouth. “We have to hunt. Anyone we can spare goes out.”

To her surprise it was Wells, who answered and not Murphy. “With the whole Grounder army out there?”

She sighed, running frustrated hands over her face. “Look. We can't defend ourselves if we're starving.”

“You’re right.” He agreed. Sighing, knowing that he didn’t have any room to stand.

Within hours they had a plan in place and Murphy was debriefing the rest of camp. “Each group takes someone with a gun, and they're for killing Grounders, not food. We don't have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting. Get what you can. Be back by nightfall. No one stays out after dark.”

Everyone was nodding but many of them looked nervous and Clarke was hoping that wouldn’t keep them from finding food. Clarke made her way to the pile of weapons that were sitting in the middle of camp, when Myles approached her looking very much like a puppy she’d seen on the vids on the Ark. “Hey Clarke. You alone? You maybe want to go together?”

She couldn’t suppress her smile as she agreed. “Sure. I'll get some gear.”

He turned and bound away from her to grab a gun. She laughed, slightly shaking her head as she tested the weight of the spear in her hands. A soft scuffle of boots behind her alerted her to the presence of a person before she heard Finn’s voice. “You ready to go?”

Shaking her head Clarke turned to look at him. “Yeah, I don't think so.”

His lips turned up in a quick flash of a smile as he looked her up and down. “Come on. I'm a good tracker. You're lousy with a spear, but you're sneaky. We’d make a good team.”

Finn brushed a few fingers against her wrist before Myles bound back up to her. “Hey, partner, we're wasting daylight.” Myles turned at the quick laugh that burst from Finn. “Oh, Finn, you're joining the band?”

“Sure.” Finn’s grin grew larger as he turned to meet Clarke’s eye.

“Awesome. Haven't really got a chance to hang with you guys much.” Myles turned to follow Finn and Clarke toward the gate. His bouncing voice never stopping, even as Clarke and Finn snickered at each other. “Hey, do you even know how I got arrested on the Ark?”

Finn shook his head as he ran his hands through his long hair. “I'm dying to hear about it.”

After several hours Myles voice still filled the air around them. Finn managed to keep the air around them light, even though they needed quiet to actually find the animal; the animal that they had finally caught the tracks of. 

“Hope it’s not one of those scaly panther things, is it?” Myles queried.

Finn shook his head as he traced the tracks in the dirt. “Boar”

Myles scoffed with excitement. “Good, because that panther meat is nasty, but I could eat a whole boar by myself, no joke. You know what the best part is of the boar? It's gonna sound gross.”

Clarke noticed Finn’s intense scrutinization of the dirt around the tracks, moving on to the next set quickly. “Myles, quiet for a second. Finn, what is it?”

Finn looked up to meet her eyes. “These tracks.” He gestured to the tracks on the ground with perfect pattern, outlining one set before pointing out the next two set of tracks.

“They're perfect.” She breathed out as she watched his fingers trace the outside of the tracks he knelt next to.

“Too perfect.” Finn nodded at her. “We're the ones being hunted.”

Myles brought the gun up to scan the area around them. “I don't see anythin -”

Myles screamed as two arrows hit him in the chest in quick succession. He teetered down to the ground. Clarke moved down to hover her hands over his shoulders, calling his name hoping that he’d open his eyes and look at her. 

Finn grabbed at her arm and tried to pull her away from Myles. “Clarke, come on. We got to leave him.” 

But before he could yank her away from Myles a grounder came up behind her and swung a club down across the back of her head. She teetered forward as her vision started to fade to the darkness. The last thing she heard was Finn calling her name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man, Sorry Pascal! I know you originally die with your main squeeze, Trina but I needed your suffering at a different place to keep the story line as in tact as possible. Got some more Lincoln and Bellamy. We are nearing the end of the season one story line. Hope you are enjoying and kudos and comments are encouraged.


	6. You Think That I Don’t Notice All The Songs You Sing Underneath Your Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of their foot falls changed as the floor beneath them became harder. Not moments after the change in sound were they pushed down to their knees and the bags ripped off their head. Clarke blinked rapidly trying to refocus her eyes to the brightness of the room they found themselves in.
> 
> “Finn, I don’t think that matters now.” She looked over to meet his eyes. “We aren’t blindfolded anymore. They are probably going to kill us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! She’s a long one! Almost double the other chapters so tuck in for this one!

Clarke came-to over the shoulder of someone she probably didn’t know, if the bag over her head and the rope chafing against her skin told her anything. She could hear several more sets of feet trudging along next to the person who was currently carrying her. The dull spikes of his clothing digging in the soft flesh of her stomach. When the person carrying her took a large step over some obstacle, she let out a soft grunt when her own body weight worked against her and pressed her harder on to the metal clad shoulder. 

At the sound of her wakefulness the grounder dropped her unceremoniously on the ground before yanking her back to her feet by the rope that bound her hands together. Clarke was barely able to keep from falling forward as her feet ran underneath her to try and keep her upright. 

Staggering slightly as she tried to get her bearings she bumped into a warm body next to her. Whoever it was grasped her elbow. The awkward hold with two hands could only mean that they were similarly bound. Clarke whispered in the direction of the other person, hoping not to draw attention to herself. “Finn?”

He swiped his thumb over the fabric of her arm in conformation; she felt him lean towards her as he whispered back to her. “We walked for about three miles after crossing a creek. Another two or so before we exited the forest.”

The sound of their footfalls changed as the floor beneath them became harder. Not moments after the change in sound were, they pushed down to their knees and the bags ripped off their head. Clarke blinked rapidly trying to refocus her eyes to the brightness of the room they found themselves in.

“Finn, I don’t think that matters now.” She looked over to meet his eyes. “We aren’t blindfolded anymore. They are probably going to kill us.”

He stared at her; his gaze tracing her face tenderly. The sound of two new sets of boots came striding into the room pulling both of their eyes to the newcomer as they walked in. One stopped in front of them as the other carried a young girl who was struggling to breath over to the table in front of them. The one who had stopped in front of them shrugged off her hood, revealing a familiar face.

“Anya?” Clarke’s eyes narrowed and her voice hardened. “What do you want from us?”

The unimpressed look was ever present as she pointed to the young blonde on the table. “Help her. If she dies,” She pointed her hand at Finn. “he dies.”

Clarke turned her terrified eyes towards the young girl again. Her breath, shallowing more and more as the seconds ticked by. From the corner of her eye she saw Anya’s face softened as she looked at the girl. “Her name is Tris.”

Clarke moved closer to the young girl holding her bound hands out to the grounders; the tall man with the wool mask covering his face. When Anya nodded, he cut her ties. Clarke’s hand fluttered over the girl as her eyes roved the room for anything she could use to help ease the girl's suffering. “I can't do this. I don't have any equipment.”

As if expecting her denial Anya moved closer. “We'll provide you with what we can.”

“I don’t understand.” Clarke turned on Anya, “Why do you think I can save her?”

Before Anya could respond, Finn’s surprised voice filtered to her ears. “Lincoln told her.”

“Yes.” Anya nodded as she stepped to the other side of the table running her fingers tenderly down Tris’ arm. Her hawk eyes flipping up to meet Clarke’s. “Our healer is gone to the capital. There's nothing we can do for her. For his sake, I hope you can.”

Finn’s voice softened as he encouraged her. Though when she met his eyes, they were still terrified. The tremble in his still bound hands matched hers with equal fervor. 

Nodding to herself, she pulled in a deep breath to steady her racing heart. “How did she get hurt?”

The ice in Anya’s voice sliced open Clark’s heart. “She was on the bridge when your bomb exploded. You did this to her.” Anya turned to leave with one last passing look at her men. “Get her what she needs.” 

Finn stepped up beside Clarke, his voice frantic. “She's getting worse.”

“I know,” She looked at him, the desperation dripping from her eyes. “Help me lift her up. Oh, God, okay, here we go.” 

Clarke and Finn rolled the young girl on her side. She quickly dropped her head to the girl’s chest. The quiet, hollow sound failed to muffle the despondent thud of her heart that struggled to keep her blood moving. “She's not moving any air on the left. There's fluid pressing on her lungs.”

Finn’s voice echoed through her skull. “I don't see an entry wound.”

Pulling back from Tris, Clarke had no idea how she was going to fix this. “No. It wasn't shrapnel. It was trauma. The force of the explosion, it hit her in the chest.” Clarke turned towards Finn; eyes wide. “She's drowning in her own blood. She can't breathe. I have to relieve the pressure.”

Clarke looked around frantically as she called out to the rest of the room. “I need a small tube, something rigid the size of my finger.” Holding up her little finger for reference to the men that surrounded her. 

The younger of the dark-haired men, pulled a small tube off one of his many odd accessories handing it to her with only a mumbled “Here.” Finn thanked him, retrieving it from the grounder before stepping up to Clarke’s side again. 

Clarke mumbled to herself as she recounted her mother’s words in her mind. “Fifth intercostal space.” Her fingers counting the dips in her ribs. “This better work.”

Using the small pocket knife, she had been given by one of the various men that surrounded her, Clarke sliced through the layers of skin holding the blood in, trapping Tris’s lung. “You're okay.”

The blood spurted out quickly as Clarke inserted the tube, before slowing down to a quiet trickle. Right as Clarke was praising her young patient for drawing in the deepest breath Clarke had heard from her yet, Anya returned. 

Anya rushed forward pulling Clarke away from Tris, jostling the tube that was supporting her continued ability to breathe. “What have you done?”

The hand on Clarke’s elbow gripped hard and the nails dug into her arm, the jacket that was covering her arms did little to keep the sting of pain away. “You don't understand. She couldn't breathe.”

Anya shoved Clarke to the ground which sent a ripple of tension through the room as Finn leapt towards her with a shout for them to back off. Finn, gripped Clarke far more gently then she had been handled since this morning. “What do we do now, Princess?”

Moving over to the side away from Anya she dropped her voice in hopes that only Finn would be paying attention to her words. “She's breathing a little better, but even if we can save her, what happens then?”

Finn’s cheeky grin flashed in her direction. “Well, then maybe we don't die today.”

Clarke was about to respond to Finn before Anya’s voice called out that Tris was running hot. Clarke’s hand went to the artery in her neck counting the beats in her head. It was still too weak, and her face was flushed with sweat pooling at her hair line. Clarke ran her fingers gently along her face and neck, brushing the strands of hair that were sticking to her face, off. In her examination she noticed raised lumps of scar tissue on the skin of her shoulder, hoping that none of them were the cause of infection she moved on. “Her heart rate is way up. She's probably septic.”

Anya moved around to the other side of the table. Her blank face revealed none of the concern that her eyes held. “What does that mean?”

Clarke met her eyes with matching concern before she dropped them back down to Tris. “It means her blood is poisoned.”

The clink of glass containers on a metal tray sounded from behind her, drawing her attention back to Finn who was holding up one of the containers to the grounder closest to him. “What about this stuff?”

His gruff voice spit out. “That slows bleeding.”

Clarke shook her head. “Coagulant. No.” 

Finn’s voice lanced her heart with its frantic edge, even though she could tell he was trying to stay calm for her. “I don't see any antibiotics. Maybe that lake seaweed?”

The unfair bite of anger dug through her stomach. “She doesn't need seaweed.” Turning on Anya, Clarke strode back over to the table to growl at her. “She needs real medicine. How could you send a little girl into battle? What is wrong with you people?”

Anya drew back in surprise at the fire in Clarke’s voice being directed at her. “She was with me. She was my second. It's how we train them to be warriors.”

Clarke’s despondent laugh trickled out of her. She couldn’t believe her ears. That wasn’t fair to those kids and that would never help her or her people. “So, the killing can just go on and on.”

Anya leaned back towards Clarke, “you put the bomb on the bridge. You did this to her.”

“You started this by attacking us from the day we crash landed on the wrong mountain. You-” Tris coughed out a weak breath cutting off Clarke’s rant. Her eyes darted back and forth on the young girl's face, trying to figure out how they could fix this. Clarke ran through everything she’d been taught on the Ark, ignoring the violent twinge her insides gave at the sound of her mother’s voice in her memories. Her eyes lit up as her mind settled on one of her earliest lessons about disease processes. “She needs clean blood.”

Finn looked at her in surprise. “Transfusion?”

She nodded to him, taking stock of what meager supplies she had. Nothing here was going to be helpful to them. “Okay. There's no tubing. So, we need a syringe, the biggest one you can find, and I need a cannula. It's like a hollow needle.”

The grounders quickly jumped into action looking for anything that would meet the descriptions Clarke had just spit out. They returned just as quickly with a dirty syringe and a hard-plastic straw that she hoped would lock into the syringe well enough to get a solid suction. 

Finn ran the straw over the ground to grind it down to a point. After getting it as close to needle shape as he could he held it up for Clarke’s inspection. When she nodded her approval, he dumped the bleach over it to clear it from as many contagions as possible. Clarke grabbed it from him, pulling the plunger a couple times to test the suction. 

Clarke moved towards Anya. “Okay. I'm gonna need your blood.”

Anya yanked her arm away from Clarke’s outstretched hands. “No.”

Frustrated Clarke ground out how Anya would be her best match because they were from the same tribe. When Finn took in the obstinate look on her face, he gripped Clarke’s elbow again. “Clarke, if you're gonna do something, you have to do it now. Just use mine.”

She took a brief second to meet Finn’s eyes before pushing up the sleeve of his jacket and inserting the needle into the vein. She handed him the syringe to pull up the blood while she turned back to the girl. “I can't find a vein. She's clamping down. She's lost too much blood.”

Her frantic search for a usable vein kept her from noticing that Tris was no longer breathing until Clarke heard the hard edge of Finn’s voice calling her name. When the realization that Tris was gone finally hit her, she backed away from the table towards Finn. Her eyes did not leave Anya’s until she gave the command for the grounder behind them to take Finn and kill him.

Heart jumping to her throat, Clarke pleaded with Anya. “No. No! Please! No! I did everything I could. Please!” The men converged on them. One grabbing Finn and pulling him away and the other standing firm against Clarke’s attempts to get around him back to Finn. Clarke called after them begging for them to let him go. The rest of the grounders followed Anya out of the room with Tris’s body leaving Clarke alone with one man. 

His dark eyes masked by the face paint studied her before he spoke. “Anya will take no pleasure in your friend's death. Prove your worth, and you'll be welcome here.”

Turning away from him, Clarke braced herself on the table that had held the young girl. Her fingers slowly slid the knife closer to her. Hoping to distract him from what her fingers were doing until she could slip the knife into the palm of her hand, fully concealing it, she asked. “Why would you want me? I couldn't save Tris.”

He seemed to think her question over before responding in what seemed an honest manner. “We told you. Our healer is gone to the capital and he has no second.”

Finally, fully palming the knife she turned back to him. “Will I be able to go back to see them? My friends? My home?”

“Tomorrow there'll be nothing to go back to.” At his words, Clarke’s heart took off into a frantic pace. She could not wait this one out. She just needed to distract this man a few more moments while she tried to figure out an escape route. 

Her mind got stuck on the marks on the little girls’ shoulder, she had noticed them on Lincoln when the arrow that pierced his shoulder had pulled his shirt down enough for her to catch a glimpse. Knowing that her brain wouldn’t move forward until she had the answer she asked. “Those marks on her shoulder, what were they? Lincoln has them, too.”

The man in front of her puffed his chest out with pride. “Each scar marks a kill in combat.”

The words staggered Clarke, “Five kills? She was a little girl.”

His voice turned to disgust at the shock in hers. “She was brave.”

“And how many do you have?” She watched him pull the collar of his shirt down revealing row after row of knotted tissue on his shoulder and chest. “That's a lot.”

He puffed up more at her observation. “And half were after I hurt my knee.”

Clarke’s mind whorled. If she kicked him in the bad knee he had just offered up then she could get his hands away from his knives and hopefully slow his reaction time enough for her to get in close enough to nick an artery in his neck. She dropped her eyes with what she hoped was a resigned look before swiftly kicking out the grounder’s knee with enough force to hopefully have torn a tendon or worse, but definitely with enough force to cause a great deal of pain to him. 

The grounder bent forward as if to grasp at his knee when Clarke lunged forward and drug the knife across the delicate flesh of his neck. The pressure of the blood in his artery forced a spray of blood to splash over Clarke’s face and clothes. She brought her hand up to cover his nose and mouth as he started to struggle. She tried to ignore the sickening feel of his hot blood slicking her fingers as she shushed him. With each thrum of his heart the blood rapidly spilled out of him. After a few seconds, each sluggish heartbeat pushed less and less blood out. Finally, his eyes started to fall closed and in less than 30 seconds from when she had made her move, it was over. 

Clarke gave herself a few more seconds to look at the man who she had killed, he had been trying to be nice to her in his own way. She hadn’t had a choice if she wanted to save her friends but the stutter in her heart didn’t help to push away the guilt she felt. 

Turning away from the man she took off out of the building hoping that she could make it back to camp with enough time to get her people to safety. Clarke ran until her chest heaved, unable to keep up with the pace she was setting. Her vision started to spot, and she knew she’d have to stop to catch her breath soon or she would pass out. She told herself she would only go a little bit further before she stopped, when her feet were ripped out from underneath her. The rapid flood of oxygen deficient blood to her brain when she was strung up, caused Clarke to pass out. 

When Clarke woke up, she was surrounded by grounders, hands bound again. She rose up to her knees staring down Anya who was quietly warming her hands over a small fire. The horses just outside of the firelight gave a skittish squeal when a hooked nose man appeared out of the woods, startling Anya’s men. 

“Your left flank is vulnerable.” His sharp eyes sunk into Anya’s as he jumped down to be level with her.

“My archers are in the trees with orders to shoot anyone hostile. You’re not hostile, are you Tristan?” The almost gentle ribbing came from Anya with a hint of irritation. He smirked at her before turning to stare at Clarke. 

The sneer on his face, pulled his lips tight. “This is who’s beating you?”

Looking up at him in defiance, Clarke sneered back at him. “And who are you?”

He spit at her feet as he crouched down in front of her. Lowering his hostile voice, he said, “I’m the man sent to slaughter your people. You, specifically.”

Clarke eyed his hand creeping toward his side, when Anya’s outraged voice caught both of their attention. “The commander sent you?”

He grunted at her, standing up and turning back towards her. “Your unit is mine now. My rangers are at the river and they are hungry. Go feed them. We march on the invaders’ camp at first light. I’ll make quick work of what you failed to do. Starting with this one.” 

Before Tristan could make a move to turn back toward Clarke, one of Anya’s warriors drew their attention to a fire off in the distance. According to Anya and Tristan’s frantic words it was a signal fire that there were reapers in the area and though she had no idea what reapers were, she knew that she should be frightened. Anya had them light a beacon that Clarke hadn’t noticed before to let the other group know that they’d seen the warning. Anya told Tristan that she would send her fastest rider to warn the commander.

“There is no time Anya.” Tristan turned to the man who’d just stepped into the light. “Kill the prisoner then get to the river.”

From across the fire where Anya was tucking away more weapons, Anya looked up long enough to ask if Finn was dead. When the grounder nodded in the affirmative, Clarke’s breath was ripped out of her. The grounder nodded at whatever instructions were issued but Clarke couldn’t tell what those were over the sound of her harsh breathing. 

The masked warrior yanked the rope around her arms so hard that Clarke was pulled up off the ground, over her feet, only to fall back to the ground hitting her head against the hard-packed ground. As she was drug away from the fire, her vision flickered in and out of focus. The man must have gotten tired of pulling her at some point because she was draped over the back of a horse before the man mounted up behind her. 

When her eyes finally focused again, they were riding into the glow of the signal fire she’d seen in the distance from her place near Anya. He pulled the horse up to a quick stop before dismounting and pulling her down. He pulled a knife out of a sheath at his side, brandishing it in her direction. She stepped back only for him to grab her hands and yank them back towards him. She stopped struggling when he slipped the knife in the knots of rope by her wrists. She looked up at him in confusion before a flash of movement behind his shoulder caught her eye. 

Pulling the binds from her hands she watched the person get closer before realizing it was Finn. In a flash of movement, she took off around the stoic warrior to run into Finn’s arms. “Oh, my God, Finn. I don't understand how -” 

He tenderly brushed Clarke’s hair away from her face. “Lincoln saved my life. He killed one of his own people to do it.”

Clarke looked back just as Lincoln pulled his mask off, pulling away from Finn’s arms. His hand fell to her lower back following her movements with a gentle press of his hand. Clarke met Finn’s eyes over her shoulder briefly before turning her eyes back to Lincoln. “Signal fire? That was you?”

He nodded before his quiet voice said. “We needed a distraction.”

Finn’s excited voice sounded closer to Clarke’s ear than she had been expecting. “I'd say it worked.”

The three of them turned to look back across the distance Clarke and Lincoln had just traversed, just in time to see fire get doused, sending a stream of smoky steam up in the air behind it. Lincoln inhaled sharply. “Not well enough.”

When Finn questioned what that meant Lincoln’s tense eyes cut back towards Clarke. “It means Anya knows Clarke is not dead.”

He hurried back over to the horse that had been standing patiently on the edge of their clearing. He turned the horse in the opposite direction before sending it off on the path in front of him with a quick swat to its hind end. “We need to hurry. Let's hope they follow the horse.”

Clarke watched him, knowing that Anya was not going to be stupid enough to follow the tracks of the horse that now carried no passengers. “What do we do now?”

Strapping on the last weapon, he’d pulled from the horse’s tack onto his back he turned to appraise her. “Now we run. Come on. It's right up here.” 

Lincoln turned and ran without a backward glance spared for Finn or her. He darted around trees as Clarke and Finn struggled to keep him in their field of vision. He finally stopped at a narrow opening just barely big enough for him to squeeze his bulky frame through.

“What is it?” Finn asked as he heaved, gasping breaths through his teeth. 

Barely winded, though loaded with tension, Lincoln replied, “Someplace they won't follow.”

Finally catching her breath, she asked where it led. 

“Everywhere.” Lincoln looked over his shoulder at the sound of rustling that was getting closer. “There's a tunnel to your camp. If we make it through, we should get there before Tristan. Go. Go!” 

He shoved her and Finn through the opening and just as they started running Clarke heard the whoosh of an arrow echo off the tunnel walls before a thick sound of it meeting flesh and Lincoln’s grunt of pain. She slowed down wanting to check on him, but he just waved her forward until they rounded a corner and could no longer see the opening they’d just come through. 

“You were right. They didn't follow us.” Finn noted.

“Reapers use these tunnels.” Lincoln grunted. “Tristan wouldn't risk running into them.”

Finn came to a full stop turning to look at the tanned man who’d just saved their lives. “What the hell's a reaper?”

A shudder ran through Lincoln. “Pray you never find out. We have to keep moving.” He turned to leave, and a hand dropped to his side. 

Clarke’s eyes turned to stare at the man who wanted to press forward. Holding up her hand to stop him in his tracks. “Let me look at that before we move again.”

He shook his head. “I've fought battles with worse wounds than this.”

He started to move forward again until Clarke laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. Lowering her voice to be as soothing as she could make it. “We're not in a battle right now.”

His denial of safety just piqued her interest in why he was helping them all the more. When she questioned it he stood resolute in his silence. “Fine. Don't tell us. Give me your knife.” 

She turned to Finn handing him the blade and taking the torch that Lincoln had been carrying and shoving that in Finn’s other hand she directed him to heat the blade. Turning back to the injured man in front of her she cautioned that he may want something to bite down on while she removed the arrow.

Lincoln scoffed at her. “You people are so soft. If you don't learn to be more-” She cut off whatever he was going to say by shoving the arrow the rest of the way through his side, causing him to suck in a sharp breath. Snapping the head of the arrow off she pulled the shaft back out through the entry hole. 

He stared down at Clarke with the same soft eyes she’d looked into on the bridge where they failed to make peace. “What my people are doing to yours is wrong.” He grabbed the cherry red blade from Finn’s outstretched hand, pressing it to the hole in the front side of his abdomen with a quiet hiss before handing it back to Clarke with a nod for her to do the entry wound on his back. 

The three of them hurried through the tunnels as quickly as they could, Lincoln checking the map in his book periodically. She hoped the twist and turns he followed were leading them closer to their people. After at least an hour of traveling through the dark tunnels Lincoln stopped their forward progress with a press of his finger to his lips. 

“Reapers,” he whispered when the sound of grunting carried towards Clarke’s ears. 

Finn’s shocked whisper back was loud compared to the soft voice Lincoln had used. “This can't be the only way. Check the map.”

A grave face met her eyes as he answered. “If you want to get home before Tristan slaughters your people, this is the only way.”

They moved silently towards the mouth of the tunnel they needed to take, peering over Lincoln’s shoulder she saw carts parked on a track. The shriek of a person, met her ears as Finn pointed out the carts were filled with human bodies. Lincoln’s solemn eyes locked with hers when she asked what the hell was going on, but he did not deign to give the obvious answer. 

He did however shove the map in her hands telling them that the tunnel off to the right of where the reapers stood gathered would lead them to the woods near their camp. When Finn questioned what he was going to do, Lincoln told them he was going to save them one more time. “I'm gonna lead them away. Wait until they follow me, then run.”

Clarke laid her hand on his shoulder as he started to rise from his crouch. “Wait a second. If they catch you, they'll kill you.”

He shrugged her hand off his shoulder. “Worry about yourselves. Most of Tristan's rangers will be at your gate by daybreak, but he'll send riders ahead, scouts. All of you have to be gone before they arrive.”

“Gone,” she asked, her voice steadier than she thought it would be. “Where are we supposed to go?”

His eyes appraised her for a moment. “In my book, there's a map. Chart course to the eastern sea. There's a clan there, led by a woman called Luna, a friend. Tell her I sent you.”

They thanked him as he took off to get the reapers attention. Turning tail as soon as they looked in his direction, Lincoln sprinted from their view. One of the grotesque humanoid creatures remained behind to guard their bounty it seemed, so Clarke and Finn slunk around close to the wall of the tunnel. Her eyes were glued to the bodies in the cart until one of what she had thought was a dead body turned its eyes to meet hers. 

Her gasp brought the attention of the reaper to them. Grunting, it scurried in their direction, only to fall upon Finn. The disfigured form in front of them barely looked human as it strangled Finn. His hand reached out to grasp a rock, Finn brought it down upon the reaper’s skull. The sharp thunk of the rock meeting thick bone pulled Clarke’s eyes away from the cart. The second hit from Finn caved the skull in causing blood to seep from the reaper's nose onto Finn’s jacket before the reaper sunk down, limp on top of Finn. 

Finn shoved the reaper aside before he grabbed her hand dragging Clarke’s dazed barely focused body behind him. He tugged the book from Clarke’s hands checking the map again. “This doesn't look right.” 

Clarke grabbed his hand, “What the hell was that back there?” 

Her chest started heaving with a panic attack. Her eyes darted every which way until Finn’s hands reached up to cup her cheeks. He softly called her name. She tried to slow her breathing but all that came out was a stuttered question about what they’d seen.

Once she was finally able to breathe again, she said. “I swear to God, the more we learn about this place, the less we know.”

Finn’s hands tenderly brushed her hair away from her eyes. His eyes making a slow drag from her eyes down to her lips. “I should have fought for you.”

Shaking her head as best she could while his hands caged her face. She tipped her face down to stare at his chest. “Finn, don't.”

“Clarke. I love you.” His thumbs stroked her cheeks. “I'm in love with you.”

Clarke pulled away from him, his hazel eyes were wet with emotion. When she looked back into his eyes tears were dripping down her face. “I” she paused, licking her lips before she continued. “I can’t. I’m sorry Finn, you broke my heart.”

Before Finn could form a response there was a loud boom coming from the entrance of the tunnel, they were in. Their eyes met again; Clarke wiped at cheeks before they both started moving as quickly as they could. 

Clarke and Finn ran back into camp as a chorus of kids cried out about their arrival. Clarke’s eyes darted through the crowd looking for Wells or Murphy. A flash of blue eyes under a mop of dark hair caught her eyes. She jogged over to Murphy “Hey, we heard an explosion. What happened?”

He gripped her shoulder, with a grateful smile. “Scared kids, happened.”

Before she could enquire any further, her arms were full of Jasper Jordan. He squeezed her tightly for a moment before her arms came up to circle his slim frame. A smile breaking across her face. “Thank God! Where have you been? Where's Monty?”

Clarke pulled back from the embrace. “Monty's gone?”

Finn reached out to touch her shoulder, grabbing the attention of the boys who surrounded their newly returned leader. “Clarke, we need to leave, now. All of us do. There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run.” 

“Like hell we do. We knew this was coming.” Murphy challenged; an irritated scowl stole over his face. 

Wells turned to Murphy, “Murph, we're not prepared.”

He whipped around to glare at Wells, “And they're not here yet, Chancellor. We still have time to get ready. Besides, where would we go? Where would we be safer than behind these walls?”

“There's an ocean to the east.” Finn said. “Lincoln said the people there will help us.”

“You expect us to trust a grounder?” Murphy’s voice raised loud enough to draw the attention of the whole camp. “This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall, in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don't belong here. But they're yet to realize one very important fact: We are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!”

A cheer went up across the camp, the kids crying out with renewed enthusiasm. Murphy’s voice rang out again. “Damn right! I say let them come!”

Clarke raised her voice to be heard over the crowd of cheering kids, reminiscent of the first day on the ground. “Murphy's right. If we leave, we may never find a place as safe as this. And God knows, in this world, we could be faced with something even worse tomorrow. But that doesn't change the simple fact that if we stay here, we will die. Tonight. So, pack your things. Just take what you can carry, now.” 

\------------

Bellamy adjusted himself in the saddle as his horse swayed with its earth eating steps underneath him. They had less than 4 hours until they made their way into TonDC. Tristan’s scouts should be almost to the camp of the sky people. They’d be dead before they knew what hit them. 

He felt the guilt of having to exterminate a whole group of people, for doing nothing more than trying to survive. This Artemis with fair hair. They’d underestimated her because she was not from the Earth. He’d not do that again. Their meager amount of kids should be no match for their 300 warriors. 

She must’ve run out tricks by now. No one, in all of their history, has stood up to 300 of the Heda’s men and survived.

It would all be over, come morning. 

\------------

A groaning came from the second floor as the kids scurried about trying to pack their things. Clarke was flagged down by one of the kids, who sent her up to check it out. Clarke found Raven on the ground clutching her stomach. 

“What happened?” The sound of Finn’s voice rang out from behind her. 

Raven’s pain filled eye looked over Clarke’s shoulder to meet Finn’s concerned face. “When the gunpowder exploded it set off one of the bullets sitting by it. The bullet shot me. It was an accident.”

Clarke turned to Finn and asked her to get Raven down to the bottom floor of the drop ship so they could cauterize the wound and start moving. Raven screamed as Clarke pressed the heated metal against her skin. The smell of burnt flesh for the second time in less than 24 hours was almost enough to turn her stomach.

Breathing in sharply, Clarke said. “There, that should stop the external bleeding.”

Raven’s watery eyes turned up to Clarke’s “We got lucky. If we’d been on the first level and the bullet hit the fuel tank instead of me, we'd all be dead.”

Clarke’s confused face turned to scan Wells and Murphy’s faces before meeting Raven’s eyes again. “There's rocket fuel down there? Enough to build a bomb?”

Raven wiped her face as a pleased smile filtered across her lips. “Enough to build 100 bombs. If only we had any gunpowder left.”

Wells turned the conversation back to Lincoln’s book in his hand. “Let's get back to the reapers. Maybe they'll help us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?”

Clarke met his curious eyes. “Not this enemy. Trust me, it's not an option. Besides there's no time for this.”

Finn’s hand brushed oved Raven’s head. “Can she walk or not?”

When Clarke told them that Raven would have to be carried, Raven tried to stand herself up with her desperate protests. Clarke pushed her back down on the ground as softly as she could. “Hey, listen to me. That bullet is still inside you. If by some miracle, there's no internal bleeding, it might hold until we get somewhere safe. But you are not walking there. Is that clear?”

Raven’s defeated stare met Clarke’s understanding eyes as Finn turned to go get the stretcher.

After getting Raven situated on the stretcher, she stepped outside of the drop ship to announce they had no more time and it was time for them to get moving. 

Murphy came up to her side as they surveyed the kids scrambling to get the rest of their stuff together. “What do we do if they follow? It's a 120-mile walk to the ocean.”

Finn’s angry voice cut through into their conversation “Look, we're wasting time. If he wants to stay, he can stay.”

Clarke’s voice carried an annoyed tone as she shot Finn a disgusted look. “No, he can't. We can't do this without you, Murphy.” Murphy nodded at her. Taking one last look at the camp before bumping gently against Clarke, she turned to look back at him. “We did good here, Murphy.”

He turned to her with a sad smile. “18 dead.”

“Yeah, but 82 alive.” She leaned gently against him for a moment. “You did good.” 

The group filed out quickly and quietly with Murphy, Wells, and Clarke taking up the rear of the group. After about a quarter of a mile some of the kids at the front of the group stopped, with barely a moment to look around before a weapon came hurtling out of the woods and buried itself into Drew’s skull. 

Screams of terror rose up from the herd of kids, some kids grabbed Drew as they all turned to race back the way they’d come. Everyone shouted as they raced through the gates of camp.

Wells' voice was filled with terror as he stood on the outlook above the gate, watching as the remaining delinquents ran through the gate. “Why aren't they attacking?”

Clarke looked up at him. “Because we're doing exactly what they wanted us to do.”

Wells pulled his eye away from the scoop on his gun. “What are you talking about?”

Clarke looked at the others as they gathered with her beneath where Wells stood. “Lincoln said the scouts would be the first to arrive.”

Finn’s voice carried over as he arrived after putting Raven back in the drop ship. “If it's just scouts, we can fight our way out. For all we know, there's one scout out there. Clarke, we can still do this.”

Murphy looked over to her with a raised eyebrow. “Looking to you, Princess. What's it gonna be? Run and get picked off out in the open, or stand and fight back?”

Finn argued back. “Clarke. If we're still here when Tristan gets here -”

Clarke cut Finn off before the boys could get any further into their argument. “Lincoln said scouts. As in more than one. He said, "get home before the scouts arrive." Finn, they're already here.” She turned to Murphy. “Looks like you've got your fight.”

Raising his voice Murphy turned to the rest of camp who’d gathered around as they talked through it. “Ok, then. This is what we've been preparing for. Kill them before they kill us. Gunners, to your posts. Use the tunnels to get in and out. From now on, the gate stays closed.”

After getting the rest of camp settled and working on any last-minute preparations that they could make before the rest of the grounders who were sent to kill them showed up, Clarke and the boys were settled around Raven in the bottom of the drop ship. 

She turned to Murphy. “So, what do we have ready for us.”

Murphy and Wells talked in tandem as their fingers ran over the map Clarke had been drawing over the last several weeks. “We've got 25 rifles with 20 rounds each, give or take. Roughly 500 rounds of ammo. While you two were gone, we made some improvements. Thanks to Raven, the gully is mined.”

Raven piped up to correct them. “Partially mined. Thanks to the explosion.”

Wells jumped over her pessimistic correction. “Still, it's the main route in. If the grounders use it, we'll know. She also built grenades.”

Clarke picked up a handful of metal tubes with wicks of cloth hanging out of one end. “It's not many.”

Raven again piped up. “Again, thank you, children.”

Murphy jumped in this time. “We'll make them count. If the grounders make it through the front gate, guns and grenades should force them back.”

Looking between the rest of them, Clarke asked. “And then?”

Raven’s drowsy, pain filled voice said, “Then we close the door and pray.”

“And pray what?” Her eyebrows shot up towards her hairline. “That the ship keeps them out? Because it won't.”

“Then let's not let them get through the gate.” Murphy said. He lifted the radio to his mouth to issue orders. “All foxholes listen up. Keep your eyes and ears open. Inflict casualties, as many as possible. You can hold them off long enough to make them turn back. That's the plan.”

Finn’s sarcastic, caustic voice cut at Murphy. “That's always your plan, just like the bomb at the bridge.”

At the mention of the bridge, Clarke’s mind began to race. Ignoring the sound of the boys bickering. They had rocket fuel; they had a rocket ship! “It can't be that simple.” Clarke muttered to herself before turning to Raven. “You said there's fuel in those rockets, right? Enough to build 100 bombs.”

She smiled irreverently. “I also said we've got no gunpowder left.”

“I don't want to build a bomb.” The sound of the bickering waned when Clarke paused. “I want to blast off.”

Raven’s grin turned genuine. “Draw them in close. Fire the rockets. A ring of fire.”

Murphy smirked. “Barbecued grounders. I like it.”

“But will it work?” Wells turned to look at Raven.

Raven nodded. “You give me enough time and I'll cook them real good.”

With the plan of action in place and communicated out to the rest of camp everyone left to man their posts or prepare what needed to be done. That left Clarke to help Raven who was struggling through the pain, to prepare the rocket. Something that Clarke was less than qualified to do. Raven blew a breath through her nose at her frustration with not being able to crawl down there and help. 

“Look harder!” Raven yelled down. “You have to find the one that connects the manual override to the electromagnet. It's not rocket science.”

An amused smile lit upon Clarke’s face. “Yes, it is rocket science, actually.”

“Guess we finally found something you're not good at.” Raven paused, and Clarke wasn’t sure that she would continue. When Raven’s voice finally called back down to her there was an ironic lilt to it. “I used to be picked first for everything. Earth skills, zero-g mech course. First. Every time. So, how the hell did I end up here?”

Knowing that some of Raven’s pain was her fault, Clarke couldn’t help but call up to the amazing woman above her. “Raven? I'd pick you first.”

Clarke could hear the false bravado in Raven’s voice when she said, “Of course you would. I'm awesome.”

Clarke’s finger finally found the wire she was looking for. Calling up to Raven as she traced the line down until she hit the fried ends of it. When she told Raven that it was fried, the sound that came out of Raven told her everything she needed to know but she couldn’t help but ask her for verbal confirmation. 

Raven’s only response was to ask if Clarke had ever spliced a wire. At her denial, Raven confirmed her worst fears. This was the worst-case scenario. With the sudden crackle of the radio by Clarke’s foot, Jasper’s voice came over the radio. The Grounders were there, and they found their land mines. Raven’s excited voice called over the sound of the gunners calling back and forth to each other. “Jasper can splice”

Clarke picked up her radio, squawking into it. “Jasper, we need you in the dropship right now.”

Murphy called back to her that they couldn’t give up the west woods, she reminded them that they were mined, and the Grounders had just figured that out. Murphy conceded the point. 

The fighting continued as Clarke and Jasper tried to keep the pretty mechanic awake, to keep her alive, while they waited for Finn, who’d taken off in search of Lincoln, to return with the meds he hoped he’d get. They prayed that he’d even be able to find Lincoln in time, while she begged Raven to tell them just one more time what Jasper needed to do to launch the drop ship. 

The grounders had gotten smart and were trying to make them waste bullets, but thankfully Wells’ mind was able to decipher their strategy before they wasted too many bullets. That didn’t keep the sound of bullets meeting from Clarke’s ears with increasing frequency. Knowing that they couldn’t keep them at bay much longer.

When Jasper had prepared the graft, he called up to Raven to tell him, just one more time, please, they heard a thump as Raven slipped down. Clarke sprinted up the ladder to check on her to see her unresponsive on the ground where she had sat. Jasper’s hesitant voice asked for confirmation that Raven was gone, as if unwilling to believe the sight in front of him. 

“She’s not gone yet. But soon.” Clarke told Jasper right as one of the kids on the radios screamed that the grounders were breaking through their defenses and heading for the gate. She turned back to Jasper with a brisk “Finish it.” before she walked out of the drop ship to see what was happening outside. 

Miller was panicking as he shouted to the others. “There are too many! Everybody to dropship now!”

“No! We need more time.” She yelled, slowing the retreat of the kids. “Gunners stay at your posts. The rest of you, inside.” She waved the kids who weren’t actively engaged in the fight to the drop ship.

A large explosion sounded from above them drawing everyone on both sides to a halt. The petite brunette next to her asked if the falling metal ship was from the Ark. But Clarke’s eyes drew together as she realized that was too big to be a drop ship and the only explanation was that it was the Ark itself, which she told the girl before ushering her inside. 

Before everyone could shake off the stunned silence at the appearance of the pieces of the Ark, a sound that she’d hoped she’d never hear again met her ears. The strange grumbling scream of the reapers as they attacked the humans in front of them. It sent a shiver down her spine before her eyes drank in the sight of Finn in relief. He jogged up to her on the ramp with a proud smile on his face. She couldn’t muster up a smile in response, but she did ask, “What did you do?”

“I kicked the hornet's nest.” He said as he handed her the medicine for Raven. 

Stunned, Clarke couldn’t help but ask. “You brought the reapers?”

He nodded before looking up to the open maw of the drop ship. “I just bought us some time. How's Raven?”

She met his eyes as her hand grasped his, running her thumb in soothing circles across his knuckles. “She's not good. And the rockets aren't ready yet. Jasper's working on them now.”

Finn’s surprise that Jasper was their plan B lasted only for a moment before they moved in unison towards the door. 

Before they could enter the drop ship, Miller’s voice called back to her. “Clarke! They're taking down the gate!”

Jasper’s slim form appeared from behind her with a smile on his narrow face. “Good. Because I did it... I think.”

Miller called the retreat as the grounders gave one last heave on the ropes, they managed to get around the gate. They poured in so rapidly that not all of the kids were able to move away from their posts before they were savagely ripped down where they stood. Clarke watched in horror as blood sprayed out of slashed throats and insides fell out of belly wounds to pool at the kid’s feet before they fell to the floor. 

Miller’s voice drew her back to the present when he grabbed her arm trying to haul her back inside a frantic “I'm closing that door.” spilled from his mouth. 

She pulled away from him saying, “We've still got people out there. Murphy's not back yet.” Turning to the kid next to her that was holding the pipe bomb in his hand she told him. “Use the grenades!” before calling to the kids who still were fighting their way back to the drop ship to hurry. 

The flash of the exploding grenade illuminated the area enough for Finn to point Murphy out. “There he is!”

Clarke’s heart lept to her throat as tears threatened her eyes. “He's never gonna make it. Murphy, run!” 

Murphy’s eyes met hers quickly before he was dropped by the haft of Tristan’s ax. He flipped over on to his back just in time for Tristan to pounce on him. Tristan’s fist flying in rapid succession over Murphy’s face. 

“He's killing him.” Clarke yelled but to whom, she couldn’t say. 

The sound of Finn grabbing a gun barely registered until he saw him sprint towards Murphy. “Stop, Finn, no!” she cried as the tears that only threatened finally fell. Finn’s head snapped back when Tristan rebounded with fists after Finn had knocked him backwards off of Murphy. 

She hadn’t realized she was shouting at them until Miller pulled her back towards the ship with a pained voice he said. “Clarke, you can't save everybody. Let's go! Let's go.”

The next few moments drove forward with the unmistakable pace of war; at the pace that slows when the brain registers trauma as the memory is recalled. She looked towards Finn and Murphy who would never make it in time, they would be lost to the flames when she told Jasper to do it, “Now.” Her heart in her throat made her voice horse. Turning away from those she would never forget because she couldn’t save them, she lifted the lever that controlled the door of the drop ship, damning those still outside to their fate. 

Before the hydraulics could fully close the door a cry of anger met Clarke’s ears just before Anya’s hard lined body appeared. “Anya, you can't win.” Clarke intoned, despondently. 

She barely had the words out before Anya leapt at her. Miller dropped her with a gun to the back of the head. The spark of violence set the whole crowd of kids in motion. Some tried to attack Anya no matter how Clarke screamed for them to stop, while others listened to Clarke as she pointed out that the grounder had already lost. 

When the Rockets launched a hush fell over the kids before Clarke cried out. “We are not grounders.” telling Miller to take her weapons but not to hurt her anymore. 

The fires took several hours to die out but when they could no longer hear the sound of blazing wood Clarke pulled the lever to open the door. The break of day over the trees blinded her long enough to miss the shape of men in suits surrounding them. The haze of pink smoke filled their vision before they could even hope to run and everyone dropped to the ground. 

\------------

The scout that brought the news of the battle at the drop ship ran quickly from the room as the young Heda swept his lithely muscled arm across the table in front of him. Throwing books and maps and other items scrambling across the floor. 

He braced his hands on the desk as his chest heaved up and down in furry. The angry jut of his jaw was amplified by muscles that worked it. When his sister’s face appeared in his line of sight, unafraid of the enraged man in front of her, his hands gripped the edge of the table before he flipped it in her direction with a shout. 

“Lincoln will answer for what he’s done!” Octavia’s eyes widened at his words. “I’ll not be made a fool of!”

She nodded stiffly knowing that he’d calm down eventually and she hoped with that calm, he’d not do anything drastic to the man she loved. He stared down his sister and though he felt it deep inside he could never admit that this Golden haired leader of theirs had impressed him with her desire to survive. The length she went to keep her people alive; he wasn’t sure he would go that kind of distance himself. Her spirit reminded him of the strong-willed woman in front of him, who was always moving forward towards the love of a person, the love of her people. 

“Get out of my sight, O.” He couldn’t mask the disgust in his voice, not at her - though she probably thought it was directed at her - but at the thoughts and feelings of admiration he had running across the back of his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp end season one! We are crawling steadily towards the Bellarke meeting! 
> 
> As always comments and kudos are welcome!!


	7. You Still Tear Up at a Beach Sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tick of the her mental clock drove her forward again once she gets the door open. Stooping she grab a large chuck of glass from the floor, padding on silent feet towards the stranger. Taking a deep breath, Clarke grabs the arm of the person in front of her. Dragging them back towards her, she rips off the helmet. The mass of dark hair that spills out to frame the pale face of a young girl, no more than her age. But she can’t hesitate, her people aren’t safe.

The first thing Clarke noticed when she woke up was the overwhelming amount of white in the room she found herself in. The overhead lights were glaring off all the white, making her squint. She looked around as she sat up before taking stock of her own body. The pinch of a needle moving under her skin as she moved her arm brought her eyes down to the crook of her elbow. She looked back at her surroundings as she tried to twitch her muscles back into wakefulness. 

She reached down to yank the iv from her arm as the tingling in her legs started to subside. Once on her feet, she made her way to the door to see if she could make out anything about where she was. Her eyebrows shot up her forehead as she found herself looking into Monty’s deep brown eyes. 

“Monty?” 

If he responded, she could not hear him. Turning her eyes to the wall beside Monty’s door she read: Mount Weather Quarantine Ward. Clarke stood staring at Monty until he moved away from his door and her view. She finally turned away from the door to settle in against the far wall where she could protect her back and keep an eye on her front. She’d find a way to get out of there and save her people. Again.

\------------

“What do you mean there are no bodies in their ship?” Bellamy turned his eyes up to meet the scout in front of him. 

The trebling man kept his eyes glued to the ground in front of him. “Heda, there were charred remains of our people and theirs surrounding their ship, but inside there were no people, save one dead body, dark haired girl. Only canisters from the mountain men.”

Bellamy felt a twinge of regret in his ribs. “So, they are lost to the mountain then.” He said before turning back to the maps back on his desk. There were more crash sites and more sky people to be dealt with. They would get no quarter. 

“Okay, I need to know where all of their people that just reached the ground are, you may go now. Find me that information.”

“Yes, Commander.”

\------------

After several hours of waiting, Clarke had enough. She stood up, hoping that she could get answers to her questions, if only she could get them to pay attention. She knew they'd been watching her through the lens of the camera hanging above the door. What she didn’t expect to see was Monty’s cell door open and someone in a blue biohazard suit in there without one trace of the boy himself. She banged her hand uselessly against the door, knowing that whoever it was, couldn’t hear her. 

That didn’t stop the shouting that ripped its way out of her throat. “Hey! Where is Monty? What the hell did you do to him!”

The fear and frustration clawed at her insides pulling her away from the door and shoving her hands up to tangle in her hair as she gripped it tightly. Her heart beat, frantic, she leaned forward to drag in a few deep breaths. She knew she had to calm down and use her mind if she was going to save him. Them. 

She looked around her room from her bent over position. When her eyes landed on the IV pole she was struck with inspiration. That it might be just strong enough to break through the mesh in the window of her door. Darting over to the pole, she knew she had to work quickly because once she had the pole and broke the camera, they would know. She did it anyway. 

The crash of the glass encasing the camera still didn’t draw the attention of the person in Monty’s cell. Hoping that they wouldn’t hear her break the window, she pressed forward. Swinging the metal in her hand as hard as she could, the window shattered. Knowing that she didn’t have a lot of time to get away before they sent reinforcements, she dropped the pole and leapt towards the gaping hole in the window. 

Keeping her eyes on the person in front of her, Clarke threw her arm through the hole to unlock the door. As she drew her arm back, she felt the sting of glass running the length of her forearm, leaving a slick and bleeding wound behind. Her heart raged against her sternum with the pain, as she ground her teeth together. 

The tick of her mental clock drove her forward again once she got the door open. Stooping, she grabbed a large chuck of glass from the floor, padding on silent feet towards the stranger. She took a deep breath, Clarke grabbed the arm of the person in front of her, dragging them back towards her as she ripped off the helmet. The mass of dark hair that spilled out to frame the pale face of a young girl, no more than her age. But she couldn’t hesitate, her people weren’t safe. 

“What are you doing?” The desperation in the girl’s voice, matched the churning in Clarke’s gut. “I’ll be contaminated!”

She knew she couldn’t stop, not for one second, as she pressed the glass shard into the soft skin of the pale girl’s neck. “Where are my friends?”

“He’s fine! You don’t understand He’s -” Clarke was sure that she was lying as she pressed harder to make her point and effectively cutting off the terrified lies.

“You  _ will _ take me to them.” The girl started shaking as she nodded her head. “Which way?”

The gloved hand points off to a short hall. She dropped her shard from the girl’s neck but only to dig in above where the kidneys hide inside her body, as she adjusted her hold to allow her to maintain control and move.

She started to move them forward when the young girl piped up, more frantic than a moment ago. “Clarke, you’re bleeding!”

The sound of her name on the lips of a stranger, strangled her for a moment at the thought of what they might have done to find that information. “How do you know my name?”

The girl cried out as Clarke dug into her. “It was on your chart!”

“How do they know my name?” Clarke was almost breathless but thankful that her voice still sounded steady. 

“Please, I don’t know.” The tears pouring from her prisoner’s eyes sent a small twinge of guilt through her. “Don’t hurt me.”

Clarke pulled the girl around to look at her face. “You want to live?” When the girl nodded at her she told her to do exactly as she said. When she raised a shaking hand to her chest, Clarke was quick to stop her. 

“Key card.” The voice meeting her ears is shaky. “I just need my key card.”

Clarke nodded before readjusting her grip on the girl to start moving her forward. When the green light flashed she saw the elevator in front of her, another first on the ground. “Which level?”

The girl choked but didn't answer immediately after Clarke shook her frail form, Clarke screamed. “Answer me! Who are you people? How many of us did you capture? Where are they? SAY SOMETHING!”

Without noticing, the girl must have pressed a level because the next thing Clarke heard was the automated voice dinging from above her that they had arrived at level 5. She pulled the terrified girl out of the elevator around the corner, expecting to see guards rushing her. What her eyes landed on stopped her short. People dressed in nicer clothes than Clarke had ever seen are seated at long tables enjoying food that seemed plentiful. The lull of conversation turned to a rawr of a crowd rushing away from her after a woman screeched about a containment breach. 

The next moment, alarms sounded above her and the sight she was expecting to see comes to fruition. Her only leverage had slipped away from her when she stopped in surprise. The raised guns in the hands of soldiers meet her at the steps of the area. Clarke only had time to question where the hell they ended up before her hands were twisted behind her back and the glass shard forcefully removed from her. 

\------------

Bellamy’s hands smoothed over the map in front of him as Octavia pleaded for Lincoln’s freedom. He ignored her to focus on the three dots on his map from the crash landings of the sky people. 

One was just outside of Trikru territory, close to where the blonde headed leader had made her last stand and had already had sky people infesting it. They’d have to deal with that one first. One landed on the edge of a cliff before falling over and hopefully having killed everyone in it. The final one was in Azgeda territory and he knew they’d be dead before they had a chance to mount a defense. That had been their mistake, they’d allowed the sky rats to plan before they made their first move. 

“Bellamy, are you listening to me?” Octavia slammed her hand on the table housing the map he was studying. 

“No, O, I’m trying really hard not to.” He flashed his eyes up to her face for a moment before letting them fall back to the map. 

He could hear the sharp sound of her grinding her teeth. “He’s not a traitor, Bell.”

“Tell that to the 300 warriors that burned because he helped those people.” He ground out at her. A fight still raged in his head between the other commanders. They didn’t agree with Octavia, but they couldn’t agree with each other on what was appropriate punishment either.

She sighed. “Bell, Anya didn’t give peace a real shot. I told you this, Lincoln was only trying to follow the heart of your instructions.”

“That fact is the only reason he’s not dead now.” He met her eyes with a fierce stare. “You should be grateful because the other commanders of the flame still call for his blood. The blood of a traitor.”

Her eyes widened. “Bell?”

“I’m not your brother right now, Octavia. I am your Heda. I will be obeyed. And if I’m not, there will be consequences.” He softened as he watched his baby sister worry at her lip. 

She was a study of contradictions in this moment. Her hands fretted at the leather on the blade at her hip, the warrior braids and war paint framed her fearful eyes and the heavy dark leather that cloaked her in her fit for battle attire hid her soft heart pleading for the man she loved. “I can’t be your brother in this, O. It could kill me. I can’t afford to be weak and love is a weakness that people who don’t agree with me can use against me. I’m sorry.”

He closed his eyes against the sight of her tears. “I will release Lincoln in due time. I’m sorry.”

She had nothing to return to him, except a fierce glare that she used to try to cover up her fear. He watched her open her mouth one more time, before closing it without a sound. She turned away from him and strode out of the room. 

He sighed, his heart clenching in his chest. He had locked up his best friend and his sister hated him for it. He’d been as soft to Lincoln as he could be. The fact that he would keep all his body parts without any permanent damage had to be good enough. Running his hands through his hair, he turned back to the map in front of them. 

They’d have to take some time, but he felt sure that they could set up a siege and route the rats out of their hold of the ground. He’d send for someone tomorrow. Tonight, he needed to not be needed for a moment to let his heart break for his sister. For what he couldn’t do for her, the softness he couldn’t show.

\------------

After being brought to another white room, the guards had bound her hands to the bed they’d set her upon. A nervous looking healer stitched her arm up as she sat under observation of several more guards than she really thought was necessary. 

The guards tensed up the next time people entered the area she was being held. A woman with dark hair and complexion in a lab coat came in ahead of an older man who seemed to be discussing something with the girl she’d held in her possession earlier in the day. 

“How’s the arm, Clarke?” The woman in the lab coat asked as she flipped through a chart. When Clarke refused to answer, she saw the woman’s jaw work the muscles in irritation before her voice took a tone of amusement. She would have to keep an eye on that one. “Not much of a talker, is she?” 

Clarke glared at her until the deep sound of the old man’s voice cut across. “Skill picked up from the savages, no doubt. That's fine.” As he stepped closer, dragging the young girl behind him, the guards all tensed up. “Maya has something to say first anyway.”

The girl must have felt brave surrounded by her people and with Clarke in the chafing restraints. “You were the next one to be cleared through quarantine. Another ten minutes and you would've-” The old man cleared his throat, sending her a pointed look. “I'm not pressing charges.”

After the old man thanked her and sent her off for some sort of treatment. He turned to the guards behind him and told them to remove the restraints. And it was then that she discovered that this man was their president. 

Once they released her hands, he held his out to shake hers. “Dante Wallace.”

She examined his hands covered in what looked like paint when her hands were barely clean of blood. He noted her stare and called her out on it. “Oil paint. That's right. You're an artist, too.”

Her eyes shot up to his, the fear for her people almost choked her. “Who told you that?”

“Your people did. They also said you were their leader. Looks like you and I have a lot in common, kiddo.” He seemed to be genuine, but the rolling of her gut told her that she couldn’t trust him. If anything had confirmed that this place wasn’t safe it was his lack of concern when she asked about her father’s watch, the one that had sat on her wrist since the day he died. 

“How many of us did you capture?” She rubbed at her raw wrists in worry. 

“Forty-eight. But, Clarke, you've got it wrong. You're not prisoners. We saved you.” A bright smile lit upon his face. 

He was a good liar, she thought. “Well, in that case, you won't mind if we leave. If there are forty-eight of us here, we still have people out there.”

“The patrol brought in everyone they could find.” But the subtle shake of his head told her that even as he said that they hadn’t.

“What about the Ark?” She moved on to the next thing she could hope for. “It came down last night?”

His face flickered with exasperation before falling back into a gentle smile. “We saw it. There were multiple crash sites over a hundred square miles. If there were survivors, we will bring them in, too. You have my word.”

She looked at him and hoped he could read her disbelief in her eyes. “I want to see my people.”

He nodded as if expecting that. “Of course, you do. I would, too” He motioned to the trunk of luggage that was wheeled in. “Change and meet me in the hall.” was all that was said before he moved off with the guards to leave her alone to change.

In the trunk she saw what she knew were once shoes that women wore all the time, shoes she’d only seen in vids. The point on the heel of the shoe might be weapon enough to get her away from them once she’d seen to her people. She ripped it off and then changed into a long sleeve shirt only to tuck the heel into the sleeve. 

Dante turned to her when she exited the room into the noisy hall. “Sorry about the noise. Hydroelectric power from Philpott Dam. Fresh water from our own underground reservoir. Fresh food from our hydroponic farm.” He pointed out the turbines in a bragging manner.

Deciding that she would get more from him if she played along as she questioned him. “I don't understand. You're on the ground. You know it's survivable. Why would you stay here?”

As if expecting her question, he told her that it wasn’t for them. Her disbelief came out when she said, “the Grounders seem to have managed.” in a snide voice before she could stop herself. 

“Natural selection works.” He commented as if talking to a child who didn’t have anything but irrelevant questions. “The Grounders who couldn't survive in the radiation didn't. Those who could passed on their DNA. For better or for worse, we never went through that process.”

  
  


“Well, neither did we. We've been on the ground now for-” she cut herself off realizing her mistake. “Solar radiation.”

“Very good. Your DNA ran through the same gauntlet as the Grounders.” He praised in his slightly condescending voice. “Only, because radiation levels in space are even higher, your ability to metabolize that radiation is even stronger. Truth be told, our scientists were blown away by the efficiency of your systems. If not for that, your friends would still be upstairs in quarantine. Please.”

He motioned towards the same elevator she had stormed earlier. As she started to move forward, he laid his hand over her shoulder. “First, give me the heel.”

Though he said, “You're not fighting for your life anymore” before he welcomed her to Mount Weather, her stomach plummeted as she handed over the heel. She could not shake the feeling that she was not safe, the almost nauseous feeling that she couldn't seem to out run. She turned to the doors of the elevator and entered the carriage, shying away from Dante as he leaned into to press a button. 

  
  


When the carriage stopped moving the same automated voice announced she was back on level 5 again. She exited the doors as they opened and turned to enter the hall again. This time the tables had been moved off slightly to make more room for mingling on one side of the room. 

Her clenching heart eased slightly as she saw her people for the first time. She walked forward briskly as the kids in front of her listened to the young blonde in front of them talking about Mount Weather as if she were a tour guide.

When she had almost reached the group, Jasper turned to look behind him. As if catching up with the lag in his brain he leapt forward to pull her into a tight hug, calling out her name which caught the attention of everyone else who moved in to hug her or touch her in some way. 

Jasper pulled away from her to look at her with a sheepish, “Hi. You're okay.” aimed in her direction. 

Monty pulled her to him next. “Hey.” 

She pulled back from him to stare at the pair of best friends in front of her. She couldn’t help the smile on her face. “Hi.” Her eyes danced across the faces of the kids that surrounded her. “Finn and Murphy? Wells?”

The sadness on Jasper’s face told her everything that she needed to know. “Clarke, they- they didn't make it.”

She gripped his elbow; she’d know if they were gone. And she told him as such. “We don't know that. What about Raven?” 

He shook his head as the tour guide girl stepped up to her and handed her a folder of information with a too polite smile. “Welcome, Clarke. If you have any questions, I'm Keenan.”

She didn’t like that they all seemed to know a lot about her, and she still knew nothing about them. But she would find out more, she’d just have to bide her time. 

Several hours after their reunion the 48 that had survived were exploring the area, when Clarke caught sight of Monty and Jasper goofing around at one of the tables in the center of the room. She made her way over to them, knowing that would be the best place to watch from. 

With a quick greeting Clarke sat down next to Monty, her voice quiet as she looked around. “Pretend you're happy to see me.”

The smile on Jasper’s face dimmed a little bit as he said, “We  _ are _ happy to see you.” with a curious glint in his eye. 

Monty told Clarke that she needed to try the chocolate cake around a mouth full of the food, his eyes finding the humor in Jasper’s eyes reflecting back at him. Jasper’s reply fell on deaf ears as she looked around again to make sure that no one was close enough to make out her next words, even if she couldn’t get the feeling of eyes on her back to go away.

“I'm not eating their food.” She told them as she pulled out the map from her folder. “Look. They gave us a map with no exits. I need you to tell me everything you've seen. Every room, every hallway, every way out.”

Jasper’s surprise deflated the joy completely from his face. “Way out? Look around you, Clarke. There's no one hunting us here. First time in our lives we're not hungry. Why would we want to leave?”

Her tone came back unnaturally sharp. “Because we have friends out there who need our help.”

“They're looking for survivors,” He shook his head at her. “and they're way better equipped to find them than we are.”

Clarke felt tears well up in her eyes and her heart started to race in her chest. “This place is too good to be true.”

“You're bumming me out.” He said before standing from his chair and trying to recapture the humor that he and Monty had been cloaked in before she had showed up. “I'm gonna get more cake.”

Clarke watched Jasper walk over the table full of sweets with hope in his eyes before she watched another person grab what must have been the last piece of cake. She watched his shoulders slump before his head swung around to look at the girl behind him, Maya if she remembered correctly. She watched them for a moment longer as Monty studied her. 

“He’s happy here, Clarke. I wasn’t sure he’d ever be happy again.” Monty’s voice was soft and the tone was passionate. 

She sighed but didn’t respond to him as she stood up, making her way over to Jasper and Maya. 

Plastering a smile on her face she walked up to the table they were sitting at. “Hey. It's Maya, right?” She noticed the key card on the pile of books in front of Maya. She settled her folder on top of it, keeping her hand on it as her thumb inched the card towards her. She kept her voice light to distract them from what she was attempting to do. “I just wanted to say sorry for this morning. I was scared and worried about my friends. I hope you can understand that.”

Maya just nodded at her before looking away. Acting as if she took the obvious hint about how uncomfortable she made Maya. She lifted her folder, palming the card in her hand before moving swiftly away. She only had a short window in which she could get out of there. She only hoped that Jasper would hold her attention long enough to give her a head start. 

No more than five minutes and a couple of hallways later the same sirens that she’d heard earlier upon her first prison break, sounded again. “Not a prisoner, huh?” 

Turning to the left she saw the sign for the stairwell in front of her. The guards at the end of the hall yelled at her as she moved quickly towards the door. Scanning the card quickly she entered before yanking the door shut. Knowing that they would be only moments behind her she pulled the wires out of the door before she turned and started to race up the stairs in front of her. 

Her heart was racing faster than it should have been, even with the amount of exertion that she was putting in as she ran up the steps. She took a moment to try and settle herself when she reached the doors at the top of the stairs. Counting to 20 as she tried to slow her breathing, she braced herself for the next run she was going to have to do. 

She swung the door open and took off in the direction she hoped would get her out of this prison hold; hoped the signs for emergency evacuation were still relevant. She reached a giant door and her frantic hands tried the lever which wouldn’t budge. Seeing the wheel in the middle of it, she turned it hoping that it would allow her to open the door at long last. She just heard the click of a lock opening before she moved back to the lever. As her hand brushed the lever, she heard Jasper calling her name.

“Clarke, no!” He begged her. She could hear the fear in his voice, and it brought a vicious well of tears to her eyes. “If you pull that lever, these people will die. Even a little radiation can kill them.”

She looked at him meeting his concerned eyes with her watery ones. As she did, she heard Maya cocking a gun in her direction. “Don't make me shoot you.” Her voice is steady, though her hands shook, just as they had that morning when Clarke had held her prisoner. 

Jasper jumped in front of Maya’s loaded gun which spiked the fear in Clarke’s body to dizzying heights. “Wait.” he says with a brief glance at Maya. “Wait. Clarke. Don't do this.”

The tears in her eyes slipped unbidden down her cheeks as she dropped her eyes to the ground. “I don't believe them.”

She saw Jasper approaching her with his hands up as if he were approaching a wild animal. And she just might’ve been one with the way her chest heaved and her hands trembled. “Why would they lie? Listen to me. We are safe here, because of you. We're safe.”

She shook her head at his gentle tone before looking up into his eyes. “Not all of us.”

He sucked a breath in through his teeth. “I'm the one that fired the rockets. Should I not have done that? Clarke, when you pulled that lever, you saved lives. Don't throw that away by pulling this one.” 

His eyes begged her to let go, to just trust him and she’s not sure she could do that. But she lifted her hands in the air as the guards approached her. She wouldn’t be the reason that Jasper got hurt. 

\------------

Bellamy slouched in the seat in front of the map again. It seemed he would never be able to step away from it anymore. All he wanted was peace for his people. He’d come so far in uniting his people but then these people fell from the sky and threatened everything he’d worked for. Everything he’d struggled against the other commanders in his head to achieve. 

The sound of the door opening drew his attention. He’d had runners in and out for the last 24 hours with information on what had been happening around the new crash sites.

“Heda.” The devotion in his people’s voice made him sick to his stomach sometimes. He nodded for the man to continue. “Tristan is dead.”

Bellamy’s eyes knitted together in confusion. He’d already assumed that, and that he’d been consumed in the fire that the sky princess had caused. “Why are you telling me this?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair as the man continued. “He was found shot to death in the woods. It looks as if he had taken someone or multiple someone’s captive before he was intercepted and shot down.” 

“Sky people.” He gritted his teeth. There was only a nod to confirm what he’d known the moment the runner had announced that a shot to his lieutenant is what killed him. “Anything else to report?”

“It seems that what the leader of the people who first came down was telling the truth to Lincoln.” Bellamy winced slightly at the name. He’d gone to see him the night before and the steely gaze that met him halted him in his tracks. He couldn’t apologize but he held Lincoln’s stare, hoping that his best friend would understand what he was saying with his eyes but words that could never leave his lips. “The people that have arrived are indeed warriors, not all of them. But they move with practiced efficiency.”

This brought him up short. They had told the truth, and now they had to prepare for the potential retaliation that might occur. He steepled his hands and nodded to the runner allowing him to leave him to his thoughts. This would require the other commander’s input; he knew it would. Though he dreaded it, he sucked in a deep breath before closing his eyes, falling inwards towards the flames that licked at his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One or two more chapters until the big Bellarke meet! Stick with me guys... season two will be slightly different and I’m still trying to figure it all out in my head... I’m going to try and keep the pace with updates as much as possible


	8. And You Dance Just Like You’re the Only One in the Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s vision flutters as her head spins when she hears Anya saying, “We're not going back to your dropship. You burned 300 of my warriors, I can't show my face without a prize.” Anya quickly tied up Clake’s hands before hauling her to her feet and heading off away from the river and certain death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long for me to get out! I was hoping to have had it out on Sunday but my tenses got away from me and I’ve been trying to fix it. I apologize if it’s choppy. 
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Where she stood could be called nothing but a cell, no matter how many comforts it held. She stared at the painting that hung on the wall with her hands cuffed behind her back. This was the third time in one day they had restrained her or cast her away behind a locked door.

She didn’t bother to look at the men as they entered the room, instead keeping her blank eyes on the canvas in front of her. Dante’s voice filtered through her ears telling them to “lose the handcuffs.” yet again. 

“There's a blank canvas if you'd like.” He offered, once her hands were free.

“I used to paint the ground, too.” She said staring at the landscape in the picture in front of her. 

“It's not just the ground. It's a memory.” He told her. Running his hand gently along the frame of the picture. “I painted this.”

That surprised her. “You've been outside?” 

“Yes,” he said as if reading the question on her face. “Fifty-six years ago. For five minutes. I was seven when the first of what we call the outsiders appeared. Before that, we thought we were all there was. Imagine our surprise.”

Though she heard the regret and pain in his voice; though she didn’t have to leap to imagine their excitement at being able to be on the ground again, she couldn’t let her heart go out to him. “I don't have to imagine.”

“My father was in office at the time; believed it meant that the Earth was survivable again, and so he opened the doors. Within a week, fifty-four people were dead from the exposure. My mother and sister, among them. Loss, pain, regret.” She felt his stare on her face, but she refused to look into his eyes. “Time eases these things, Clarke, but the only time it's ever truly gone is when I'm painting.”

“You didn't come here to talk about painting.” She moved slightly away from him. “Did you?”

“I'm afraid I have bad news. Our patrols have swept the area and found no evidence of survivors, either at your camp or from the Ark.” Her stomach rolled with the news and her heart rate picked up. 

“How can they be sure?” her voice sounded breathless. 

“They can't.” he said as he grasped her shoulder. “I've ordered them to keep searching.”

“I need to see for myself.” The traitorous tears welled in her eyes again as her hands trembled but at least this time she could hear the steel in her voice.

“I'm sorry. I can't allow that.” Her thoughts started to race at his confirmation that she was essentially a prisoner here. “I'm doing this for your own good, Clarke. It's not safe out there.”

“Radiation has no effect on us.” She turned to glare at him.

“It's not the radiation I'm concerned about. You need time to grieve.” He sounded so sincere in his concern, but she couldn’t feel the sincerity in his words. As he turned to leave, he paused at the door. “These men will show you to your room.”

“And if I try to leave?” She bit out as she watched him walk away out of the corner of her eye.

“Please don't test me, Clarke.” His reply came out just as sharp as her question. She would not give up her efforts to escape no matter how many times they arrested her. She would get her people back to safety. 

\------------

When Bellamy released Lincoln, he stood away from the cell door that had held him for the past several days. Unable to fully meet the eye of his best friend he stared at the wounds that covered the battered face he knew so well. 

From the corner of his eye he saw his sister move forward swiftly to catch Lincoln when the guard that helped him out of the cage let go of him with whispered accusations thrown in his direction. 

“Enough” he told the guards. “Lincoln has served his penance for his crimes.”

His sister glared at him but Lincoln’s gentle hand on her elbow drew her eyes back to his face. He shook his head at her, and she let her eyes fall to the ground. 

His heart clenched at the sight of them together. Lincoln once again standing up for Bellamy in the face of Octavia’s anger. He’d never been more thankful for Lincoln’s soft heart than he was at this moment. He’d also never felt more guilty in the face of his friend’s forgiveness. 

He wasn’t surprised when Lincoln and Octavia took off back to the village that they all had come from. Though it hurt him to send them off with bad blood in their heads, he didn’t try to stop them. The Commanders in his head, still yelling about being soft on Lincoln but he wouldn’t take their advice on this. He knew that Lincoln’s heart was in the right place though his actions had horrible consequences. 

\------------

Later at dinner she felt Dante staring at her as he gave thanks. Deciding that she would play this game with him for a little longer, she flashed him a shallow smile. She would bide her time until she could find a way to leave with her people.

Back in the dorm room after dinner she found a sketch book and more colored pencils than she ever thought she’d see in her lifetime and she couldn’t help but smile at the gift. Her hands aching to draw everything that she’s lost. All the kids who she couldn’t save, but first she had to get out of here.

The next evening, when Miller showed up in the dorm that they were all staying in, she was sitting in her bunk in the most comfortable clothes she has ever worn; more full than she had ever been but the feeling of being watched was still present and she couldn’t seem to relax. Her hands sketching what she could remember from her flights of freedom.

Jasper’s voice calling out, “Look who finally got released.” Is what drew her attention up to the entrance. 

Miller’s soft greeting reached her ears and with the relief that she felt at seeing him whole, she could genuinely say, “I’m glad you're ok.”

“Yeah. Only took, what, 3 surgeries?” He turned awkwardly to Maya, who was standing next to him before turning back to her with a quirked eyebrow. “I hear you're fitting right in.”

Clarke glared at Maya, who looked contrite at being called out. She turned to Miller and handed him some pills, reminding him when to take them. Clarke watched Miller turn to find a bunk as Jasper and Maya walked off a little way to talk, trying to make sure he was in fact okay. 

The sound of an alarm blaring had Clarke tossing down her sketchbook filled only with a map of the place. She jumped down when she saw Maya look at her nervously, before telling Jasper to save her a seat. As Maya tried to take off out the door Clarke cut her off demanding Maya tell her what is going on. 

“That signal means the surface patrol is back and someone needs medical attention.” she hurried around Clarke with a muttered, “I have to go to quarantine.”

Quarantine. She knew where that was. Clarke strode away only to be chased out the door by Jasper. “Hey, Clarke. What are you doing?”

“Maybe they found survivors.” She said hopefully as she moved further away from the dorm. “If our people are hurt, we have a right to know.”

Jasper’s frantic voice called out to her. “I’m pretty sure we shouldn't just go wa-wandering around.”

She rolled her eyes at him, if they weren’t prisoners that’s exactly what they should be allowed to do. As she approached the team getting into their hazmat suits, she overheard them talking about someone being shot and the other taking his suit off in the field.

“Who attacked them?” She demanded as she paused to wait for the answer.

The man who appeared to be the lead didn’t answer her, but he did tell her that she couldn’t go through the door because it was not safe. She barely bothered to remind him that it was for them as she called Jasper to follow. Whatever Jasper said to them as he followed is lost to her as she pressed on. 

When they saw the door to the quarantine ward, Jasper grabbed her elbow. “Clarke, slow down! Stop pushing so hard.” she ignored him, yanking her elbow from his grasp as she opened the door to see a dead body on the table. “These people are-”

“Are lying to us.” she finished for him as she spread the clear plastic down closer to the chest to see the fatal wound. “That’s a bullet wound. Grounders don't use guns.”

Jasper’s eyes drew up as his mouth dropped open for a moment. “Unless the Grounders got the guns from us.” is what he came up with when his mouth closed.

“I don't think so.” She said. “I think our people are alive out there.”

The pinched, angry face of Dr. Tsing found her before she yelled at whoever was behind her to “get them out of here.” but not before Clarke saw them bringing in a man covered in radiation burns. His face was drawn back in pain as two orderlies helped him on to a cot next to his fallen comrade.

Dante’s coddling didn’t stop later in the day when she approached him about who shot the soldier. He told her that he was shot by an arrow and that sometimes people who have experienced loss like her see things that aren’t there. When she demanded that she be allowed to see the body he gave in to her, but she wasn’t sure that she could trust these people to tell her the truth. 

She paced outside of the room where the body was being held like a caged tiger waiting for its dinner. When Dr. Tsing finally appeared with the body of the dead soldier, she checked the wound, but she didn’t believe that they were above doctoring the holes to cover up their motive. 

She moved on from the dead man, for he had no answers for her. “The man with the burns, how is he?”

The doctor hesitated before telling Clarke that he was improving. This doctor with snake eyes, didn’t like being questioned. She asked to speak with the man still alive and the good doctor tried to shut her down, but President Wallace told her they would arrange it. She wasn’t sure how much of the truth would be watered down before she was allowed to talk to him. But she would find out the truth if it was the last thing she did. 

She found her way back to the dorms, but her anxiety kept her from truly relaxing. Jasper’s tone felt like an attack when he asked. “What did President Wallace say?”

She didn’t have a choice but to tell him that she had seen the body and it did in fact look like an arrow wound. Jasper told her she sounded crazy when she told him that they could have doctored the wound. They had no way of knowing what they had done to that man’s body in the hours they hadn’t been able to see it. 

Jasper’s voice sounded angry when he asked her, “Why do you want to screw this up for us?”

She met his glare with watery eyes. “I don't know what this is.”

Jasper’s face softened at the sight of her pain. “This is, it’s safe. This is food, a real bed, clothes, and my personal favorite not getting speared by Grounders. How long do you think they'll let us stay here if you keep this up?”

Her eyes which had fallen to the ground, snapped up to his as he finished his last sentence. “Did someone threaten you?”

Shaking his head, he told her that it was just common sense and that she was the biggest threat to them right now. That sent her stomach rolling and she couldn’t stay in that room anymore. She turned from them and fled. 

She found herself back on level five, sketch book in hand as she hid in a corner. She worked on adding in more detail to her map. At the sound of people calling out to Langston, she looked up. Her eyes found the man who just hours ago it seemed had been dying from the radiation burns, was up walking around. He was well enough to joke with his friends. 

She set her sketchbook aside as she slunk out of her seat to follow him. She followed him all the way until she saw the sign that indicated he was headed to the medical wing. The memory of the doctor’s voice saying that only patients are allowed in medical sounded off in her mind. 

Clarke turned to head back to the dorm rooms, swinging by and grabbing her sketchbook on the way. When she gets to the dorm, she is alone, everyone still out enjoying their perception of safety. A feeling that she couldn’t seem to mimic no matter how hard she tried. Her heart leapt to her throat as she paced. 

“Only patients are allowed in medical.” she mumbled to herself, looking down at the bandage that covered her stitches. She halted her pacing. “Only patients are allowed in medical!” 

Taking a deep breath before pulling off the bandage, she stepped closer to the bunk beds out of view of the camera. She lifted her arm to a corner of the bed and sucked in a breath as she dragged her arm across the metal; blood gushing out of the reopened wound. A hiss spilling out between her teeth as she clenched her other hand over the sharp pain. 

\------------

The pain in Lincoln’s leg slowed them both down considerably and it kept them off the quickest trails knowing that they would make the most noise. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him for what he did to you.” Octavia ranted, her hands gesticulating wildly in the air. When she saw the soft smile on his face, she couldn’t help but smile back at him. “What?”

“You will forgive him, O.” her mumbled denial pulling a laugh from his chest. “Yes, you will because he is your brother and you love him. He is only doing what must be done to protect our people.”

“You are his people and you were following his orders.” She crossed her arms, pushing her bottom lip out. 

He pulled her towards him, softly kissing her pouting lips. “You know I was not. He did not tell us to help them beyond the offer of peace. I just couldn’t, not help. Not after the way Anya had betrayed the terms of the peace talks, not after she had fired the first shot.”

Octavia’s hand came up to rest on his cheek. Her smile softened the sharp features that she shared with her brother. She opened her mouth to say something but before she got a chance to, the cry of the reapers sounded from behind her. 

They pulled away from each other, but he knew he wouldn't escape. Stepping forward toward the cry of their tortured souls, blocking his chosen. “Octavia, you have to run.”

“No, Lincoln. I can’t leave you here. They will kill you.”

He turned to look at her over his shoulder. “If you don’t leave now, they will kill us both. Your brother needs you. He needs his heart. The commanders in his head will tell him to be ruthless but it will crumble him from the inside.”

The tears that fell down her face broke his heart, but he had to keep her safe. “Go, Octavia. Now!”

The relief he felt as he watched her dark hair flying as she disappeared behind the trees almost took him to his knees. He didn’t have time to feel anything else before the reapers descended on him; knocking him down and taking his weapons as darkness closed in on him. 

\------------

After being re-stitched the doctor walked out of the room leaving Clarke alone. Turning to ensure no one else was around to see her, she moved closer to Langston. Her attempt to shake him awake proved fruitless. “What are they doing to you?” she whispered to herself. 

She saw the tubing running to the port in his chest and followed it up to the machine by his head before it headed out through the wall. She followed the wall to a door off to the side. What she saw when she opened the door horrified her. 

Cages filled with grounders lined the walls, cages hung from the ceiling spun around slowly as she took in the faces of terror surrounding her. She heard the grunt of irritation that came from a cage where her feet are frozen. She locked eyes with someone that she never expected to see again. 

“Anya?” She bent down to look at the woman, who was weaker than Clarke could ever imagine her being, in front of her. “Oh god, I'm gonna get you out of here.”

Clarke’s frantic eyes darted around, looking for anything that could help her get Anya out. When her eyes landed on some conduit piping leading up to a plug. Rushing over she pulled the conduit off the wall and darted back to Anya’s cage, skidding on her knees. Threading the pipe into the lock she forced the pipe down with all her might until the lock broke. 

Right as Clarke was helping Anya out of the cage, she heard the beep of a lock disengaging. She pushed Anya back in with a hurried whisper to “get back in.” as she followed her into the cage. She heard the click-clack of heels before she saw the slim form of Dr. Tsing as she checked the chart on her clipboard. 

Anya tried to push her way out after the doctor, but Clarke held firm, shaking her head at her. That didn’t stop the grounders in the other cages from reaching out and trying to grab her. With a yelp Dr. Tsing jumped away; a disgusted sneer was on her face as she turned to leave.

As soon as the lock engaged on the door, Clarke hurried out of the cage pulling Anya’s weak form behind her, slinging Anya’s arm over her shoulders when they were free of the cage. “We've gotta go, now!”

Clarke’s eyes darted back and forth looking for a way out when she saw a sign that said  _ End Containment Area _ . Pulling the door open she darted through with Anya. When Clarke realized there was nowhere else to go, she tried to exit the room, but the door closed before she could make it back across the room. 

Clarke’s frantic attempt to get out of the room was met with an alarm. There was barely time for Clarke to back up toward the center of the room where she had let go of Anya, as the grounder asked what the noise was, before the floor fell out from under their feet. 

Clarke was grateful that whatever she landed on was soft until she realized that they had fallen onto the broken bodies of the used-up grounders. Some of them, still alive but others were mercifully gone from the world of suffering she knew they would’ve been in otherwise. 

Clarke struggled to get out of the cart and way from the gruesome sight in front of her. Her desperation matched only her revulsion. Clinging to the edge of the cart she called out for the unresponsive grounder to grab her hand. When Anya’s eyes finally traveled the distance from the dying man in front of her to Clarke, she waved her hand again. When Anya’s hand finally met hers, she pulled them both out of the cart. 

Spotting a pile of clothes tossed out next to the empty cart across the way, she rushed over to them, digging through them to pull enough for both of them. “Come on, get dressed. We won't cover any ground like this.”

When she met Clarke’s eyes this time, Anya finally seemed to be present enough to say that she wouldn't leave her people behind. 

“Anya listen to me,” Clarke pleaded with the resolute grounder. “My people are still inside there. But they have guards, they have weapons, once we're out we can find help and come back and get them.”

“There is no we.” Anya said as her eyes cut to Clarke. They heard a noise coming from the tunnel that led away from Mount Weather. “Someone's coming.”

“Not just someone,” Clarke’s eyes dart back and forth between Anya and the tunnels. “Reapers.”

Anya started to stalk down the tunnel as she bent to try to pick up a rock off the ground. Clarke turned from trying to find shoes for the both of them and moved to stop Anya. “Hey, you can't fight, you can hardly stand. I have a better idea come on.”

She pulled Anya to the empty cart that the clothes were piled next to, throwing clothes and shoes into the cart and helped Anya in before jumping in herself just as the Reapers round the corner. The Reapers picked up some of the dead bodies that had fallen next to the other cart and threw them on top of Clarke and Anya. Clarke held her breath as the wheels of the cart started moving below her. 

When the cart finally stopped moving, Clarke dared to open her eyes to only slits, hoping that the reapers weren’t paying attention to them. She didn’t see anyone standing over the cart. She sat up and moved towards the edge. Pulling the clothing with her she told Anya to “come on.” but Anya didn’t move towards Clarke. Instead she leaned over the young man who didn’t have long left in this world.

Ignoring Clarke, Anya whispered. “ _Yu gonplei ste odon_.” Clarke wasn’t sure what that meant until she saw Anya grasp the sides of the man’s face gently before yanking quickly and snapping his neck. The sound echoed slightly, and Clarke knew they wouldn't have much time left before someone came to investigate. She pulled Anya over the side of the cart. Tossing the clothes out before Clarke helped Anya out of the cart, following her closely. 

They moved quickly around the bend of the cave only to stop long enough to pull the clothes on and sink their feet into the boots. Clarke’s frantic eyes paced around the open spaces in front of her trying to decide which way to go. 

“Damn it! This place is a maze!”

Anya hunched over her knees breathing deeply, trying to catch her breath after the quick pace they had set. “What are they doing to us?”

“They use your blood.” Clarke looked in her direction but couldn’t quite meet her eyes. “I saw a soldier come in with radiation burns, hours later he was fine. It's like your blood is healing them somehow. I’ve never seen anything like it. Come on this way!” Clarke started to head off to the tunnel on her left before she noticed Anya heading in the other direction. “what are you doing? That's the way back to the Reapers.”

Anya shuffled further down the other direction. “You go your way, I'll go mine.”

Exasperated Clarke walked back towards the unmovable grounder. “Anya, we need to stick together.”

Shuffling further away Anya said, again, “I told you there is no we.”

Grabbing her elbow, Clarke turned Anya back to face her. “Hey! I saved your life.”

“You saved it because you need me.” Anya sneered, yanking her arm out of Clarke’s grasp. “I know the way back to your people; I know where all the traps are hidden. You'd never make it alone.”

“We don't have time for this. Our best chance to get out of here alive is together.” Clarke said as she moved back towards the tunnel on her left. “All we can do is keep moving and hope-” Clarke’s words got stuck in her throat as she turned to find the space behind her empty. “Anya? Anya!”

Clarke turned to run down the open tunnel that she had hoped was the one that Anya had taken. She ran for what felt like forever, until she ran straight into a reaper. She pulled back and tried to run the way she had come only to find more reapers behind her. 

“No! Please!” She begged as she struggled to get away from the grasping hands that held her tight to a body that smelled of mold and decay. 

Suddenly a piercing high-pitched tone was sounded and the reapers that held her before, dropped to the ground covering their ears as their bodies shivered with tremors. Before she could move away from the reapers at her feet, she heard the muffled shouts of two men in green hazmat suits. One grabbed her arm and hauled her over the still trembling bodies of the reapers, telling her that she was coming with them. 

Clarke’s hateful glare cut to the man who held her right arm as she said, “I saw everything, I know what you're doing to them.”

The man on her left nodded. “That's why you're going in the Harvest Chamber with them.” He said before pulling a radio out of his waist belt. “Alpha building two, we've reached the intake, one prisoner in custody.”

The radio crackled before she heard another voice come across it. “Your mission was to bring back both of them. The outsider cannot leave this base. Alpha one is coming out now.”

Before anything else has the chance to be said, Clarke heard a scream rip through the air. She turned to look for the reason for the noise and saw Anya on the back of one of the guards. “His mask!” She called out as she pushed the other guard out of the way to keep him from helping his friend. 

When both of the guards were unmasked, they quickly succumbed to the radiation, Anya pulled Clarke away from the dead. “I found a way out this way!”

Bending down to grab the guard’s gun before she took off after Anya, gave the second group of guards’ enough time to exit the metal door at the end of the hall. She heard them yelling about needing to keep them alive when they caught them, pushed her to run faster than she ever had. 

Anya pulled up into a hard stop when the sound of rushing water became overwhelming. Leaning over the edge sent her heart racing out of her chest, as she started begging Anya for another way. Anya barely had time to tell Clarke that there wasn’t another way before she was launching herself over the edge. 

The guards behind her tried to sound pacifying as Clarke turned on them with the gun outstretched in front of her. “We don't have to do this Clarke, you hear me? Doesn't have to end like this.”

Clarke took a deep breath as she nodded to the guard. She set the gun on the ground before she raised her arms and started moving forward. When she saw them relax their guns ever so slightly, she clenched down tightly on her fear before turning and running over the edge. 

The force of her body breaking the line of the water felt like she had hit the hard-packed ground. Clarke struggled to get her head above water before she felt herself being hauled back to the shore. When her back hit the rocks of the shore she turned to cough up the water that was still threatening to drown her. 

“Thank you, I think we should go back to the dropship first.” Clarke said quickly trying to recover so they could get out of the reach of the mountain faster. “So, I can see if my-” Her words were cut off as she felt the contact of something hard against her temple. 

Clarke’s vision fluttered as her head spun when she heard Anya saying, “We're not going back to your dropship. You burned 300 of my warriors, I can't show my face without a prize.” Anya quickly tied up Clarke’s hands before hauling her to her feet and heading off away from the river and certain death. 

\------------

Rubbing at the headache that was forming over his eyebrow, Bellamy sighed. A haggard sound coming out of his lungs. Lincoln had been reaped and Octavia’s distraught wails still echoed in his head. The sky people had sent an unarmed man into TonDC - with one of his warriors they had captured and interrogated in the four days they had been on the ground - to beg for peace. A sky person had been taken from the dead zone and brought to a cell in TonDC and they caged the two rats together. All his problems had come from the infestation from the sky. It was time for him to talk to the sky people. He needed to understand them before he could clear them off his planet.

Bellamy called for his guard. He’d take just a few with him and pretend to be nothing more than a normal grounder, see if they could figure out just what type of people they were dealing with. Now that the Sky Princess had been taken to the mountain, they might not have the same drive to survive. They would never show weakness to him if they thought him important. With the start of a plan in mind he exited his room, Roma and Gustus falling in beside him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we are getting the big Bellarke meeting! Stay tuned. Hoping to have it out by Thursday or Friday night!


	9. You Think That I Don’t Notice, But I Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her mother’s nod pulls the air she’d just barely gathered in her lungs back out and the tears that’d been threatening finally fall. “I thought they were dead. I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead.”
> 
> Abby shushes her as she strokes her hair back again. “Not me. I’m right here.” She said before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Clarke’s head. Abby’s eyes meet Jackson’s before Clarke feels the poke of a needle on her arm and darkness pulling her anxious mind under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I lied before, the Bellarke meeting is not happening in this chapter but the next one for sure... it’s already written so at least there is that... 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. Next chapter will be out in the next day or two

Over the next couple hours Clarke and Anya made their way through the woods trying to dodge their tail from the mountain. Covered in mud and bruises and once again hearing the sounds of the mountain men, Clarke finally realized they were being tracked and not just followed. When she told Anya to check herself for a lump, the ground had bitten the device out of her arm before Clarke could even process what had happened. Anya’s only explanation was that she wouldn’t go back there. 

They continued to move through the woods for a short time before Clarke was able to get Anya to agree to stop and let her bandage the wound on her arm. Wasting no time, Clarke jabbed one of the tranquilizer darts she had pulled out of a tree earlier, into Anya’s neck. She worked quickly to put together a makeshift sled to pull the now unconscious grounder behind her. 

Clarke dragged the sled behind her all the way back to the dropship and set it down as gently as she could when she arrived. The faint lines of her name in white caught her eye, though she couldn’t make out the rest. 

The sound of movement behind her snapped her head back around in time to see the still drowsy Anya stumble away from the sled. Clarke backed away slightly, telling Anya just to wait a moment. 

Anya’s right arm swung out as she tried to clock Clarke on the head again. Ducking, Clarke moved off to the side to try to avoid the still flailing arm. When she got around to the side of Anya, she attempted to grab her shoulder, only to get a left hook to the head which knocked her off her feet. 

Clarke crawled as quickly as she could over to the pile of tree branches, barely getting one in her hands, while Anya stumbled after her. Clarke tripped up to her feet as she danced away from Anya. Turning back to the grounder Clarke swung her makeshift weapon at Anya only to miss several times before they became locked in a power struggle over it. Anya pulled her forward, kneeing her in the stomach. Pushing Clarke back before she could settle her feet under her, Anya punched her square in the face before pulling the weapon away from Clarke’s confused fingers.

When Clarke’s body finally stopped moving, she looked over, realizing that there was a knife just in reach of her hand. Her fingers closed over the hilt just in time for Anya to stumble forward again. Tossing some of the ash that rested below her at Anya’s face, Clarke scrambled to her feet. 

“I don’t want to kill you Anya,” Clarke pleaded with her. 

“Then you’re the one that’s going to die.” Anya taunted. 

Clarke lunged forward with the knife outstretched only to have Anya use her momentum against her, kneeing her in the stomach again before pushing her back off her feet. Clarke scrambled away and back to her feet only to have Anya reach out for her again, yanking the knife from her hand. Anya dragged the knife across her arm and then her ribs, drawing cries of pain from Clarke’s mouth as she begged her own body not to cloud her vision with tears. 

Anya’s headbutt sent her head over heels back into the ground. The grounder climbed over Clarke’s prone form as she pressed the knife into the soft exposed skin of Clarke’s throat. Anya nicked her skin as she drew the knife back to plunge it into Clarke’s jugular. Seeing Anya’s intent, Clarke grabbed the still fresh wound on Anya’s arm and dug her nails into it. The moment of hesitation was enough for Clarke to buck her hips up and unseat Anya. 

Rolling them both over, Clarke sat upon Anya and began to rain down punches, getting in several good ones before the grounder beneath her stopped fighting. The sight of a silver balloon in the air caught Clarke’s eyes as she reached for the knife that had fallen out of Anya’s hand in the struggle. Clarke climbed off the panting and bleeding woman as quickly as her battered body could; as if the balloon had pulled her up. 

“You fought well, Clarke of the sky people.” Anya gasped out, blood pouring from the wounds Clarke’s hands had inflicted. 

“Do you see that?” Clarke pointed at the sky. “I knew he lied. My people are out there.”

Clarke dragged Anya back to her feet after tying her hands together. “Come on, let’s go.”

When they arrived at what was a camp full of her people, Clarke gave in to the shivers of relief. The sound of Anya’s voice asking how many people there were drew Clarke’s attention back to the body beside her. 

“I don't know. A lot, I hope.” Clarke shrugged before moving to take the binding off. “I'm letting you go. I'm not weak, but I'm not like you. Our only chance against Mount Weather is if we fight together. To beat them, we'll need our technology and your knowledge of this world. I know my people will help. The question is, will yours?”

Anya nodded. “The commander is from my Kru. I can get an audience.”

Clarke reached her arm out to grasp Anya’s. “Please hurry.”

The loud pop of a gunshot echoed around Clarke’s skull as she watched Anya fall to the ground in horror. Rushing over Clarke pushed heavily on the hole in Anya’s gut. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” Clarke promised her even as she begged her to stay with her. 

Anya’s bloody hand came up to rest on Clarke’s shoulder before it dropped back beside her limp body. “Ai gonplei ste odon”

The panic rose in Clarke’s chest at her words. “No. No, no, no. Anya, you're ok. You're ok. Please.” 

She knew the muffled sound of someone approaching should have meant something to her; should have elicited a response but she didn’t have anything left in her. Her hope for getting the rest of the grounders to help had just been taken from her. The thump of a gun hitting the base of her head rattled her as her arms went lax underneath her. 

Her head lolled to the side as her vision flickered, dimly she wondered how many more hits to the head she could take before her brain gave up on her. The pain from all the fighting had caught up with her as the adrenaline from their flight to freedom had waned. 

The strong arms of two men carried her forward as her feet dragged beneath her. She tried to find it in herself to be worried about where they were taking her. Hoping they would take a moment to realize she was one of them before they hurt her any further. She was in so much pain, she couldn’t imagine having to endure more. 

The next thing she noticed was two soft hands cupping her face drawing her eyes up to look at the hazel eyes of her mother. Clarke’s heart stuttered in disbelief when she heard the familiar voice call her name. 

“Mom?” Her voice came out wrecked. Tears pooled in her eyes and her heart raced, not believing her eyes. “You’re alive?”

Clarke barely saw her mother nodding before her vision was cloaked in darkness.

When her eyes fluttered open again, she was prone on a soft cot and her mother’s voice was loud over her. “I need saline and a pressure dressing.”

She almost cried as she heard Jackson’s soft voice telling her mother that he was on it. She felt her mom’s warm hands brushing her crusty hair out of her face. “It’s ok, honey. I’m right here.”

Clarke humed as she pressed her lips together, trying not to cry and wreck the wonderful dream of her mother’s face in front of her. Her hand raised up to lightly land on the clean cheek before her. “I saw your ship crash.”

The tears in her mother’s eyes catch Clarke’s by surprise as her mother’s strained smile tilted in her direction. “I wasn't on it. I’m right here.”

Finally, Clarke was forced to register that this wasn’t a dream when the pressure from Jackson’s hands on the knife wound on her stomach drew a groan out of her mouth and pulled the breath from her lungs. 

She heard the voice of Major Byrne and her mother arguing as she tried to fill her lungs back up again. When the Major asked her where she had been, she was only able to respond breathlessly “Mount Weather.”

The confused tone was not lost on her as the Major asked, “The Grounders took you to Mount Weather?”

Struggling, she sat up and tried to move away from the torturous hands applying pressure to her aching body. “No. The mountain men. We have to get them out.”

Abby’s tone brooked no room for arguments as she said, “we’re not doing this right now.” while pressing Clarke back into the cot below her. The Major conceded with a nod before exiting the tent. 

“Mom.” Clarke drew Abby’s eyes back to her. “Did anyone else make it here?”

Abby’s smile was genuine, “Yes. 6 of you did.”

“Finn, Wells and Murphy?” Her tone was nervous as her heart clenched in time with the gentle pull of stitches through her skin.

Her mother’s nod pulled the air she’d just barely gathered in her lungs back out and the tears that’d been threatening finally fell. “I thought they were dead. I thought you were dead. I thought you were dead.”

Abby shushed her as she stroked her hair back again. “Not me. I’m right here.” She said before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Clarke’s head. Abby’s eyes met Jackson’s before Clarke felt the poke of a needle in her arm and darkness pulled her anxious mind under. 

\------------

Bellamy stalked toward the doors where both sky people were being held. His shoulders hunched as he avoided eye contact with the others. He felt a strong hand fall on his shoulder as Gustus stopped him. 

“You cannot go in there, Heda.” The gentle fall of his voice which used to be soothing, reminded him too much of his lost friend and crying sister. “The sky people are dangerous.”

“I am your commander,” Bellamy huffed. “You can’t stop me.”

“Yes, Heda.” He nodded. “But if you will not think about your safety then I will.”

“I need to speak with them, I don’t need them knowing who I am by having all of you following me in there.”

“Okay, what if we send you in there as a servant and someone else pretends to be commander.” The strong man in front of him bowed with his heavy thoughts. “It should draw their suspicions. They would have no reason to think you were anything but expendable and might talk more freely. Otherwise any other person who went in there would have to have some sort of authority just to talk to them. I don’t want to risk you that way.”

Bellamy nodded as he puzzled out how this could work in his favor. “Gustus, you might be onto something. Let’s discuss this in my cabin, bring Roma and the others. I don’t need anyone to mess up if we do it that way.”

\------------

  
  


“I thought you got thrown off the council.” Clarke said as she watched her mother, who was busily running her eyes over all Clarke’s injuries.

“Oh.” The small jolt that ran through Abby, confirmed that she hadn’t noticed that Clarke was awake. “It's the Chancellor's pin.”

Clarke’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “You?”

“Yeah,” Abby nodded. “Thelonious didn't make it, and Kane left two days ago to try to make peace with the Grounders to get you and the others back.”

“I told you. The Grounders don't have us.” At the mention of her missing friends, the anxiety flooded back into her. “How long have I been asleep?”

“About 10 hours.” At that news Clarke, tried to sit up too quickly, pulling a heavy groan from her lips. Abby’s hands fluttered uselessly as she tried to stop Clarke. “Hey, Clarke, slow down. Hey. It’s too soon.” 

“Mom, we need to move against Mount Weather. How many guards are here?” Clarke rolled off the cot, noticing for the first time that she was hardly dressed but clean. “Where are Finn and Wells? Murphy?”

“Clarke, please. You need to rest.” Abby grabbed for the clothes that Clarke was reaching for.

“I don't need to rest. I'm fine.” Clarke pulled the clothes from her mother with a grunt of pain. Her face fierce as she remembered her mother plunging a tranquilizer into her before she woke up on the drop ship. “And I don't need you to protect me. What I  _ need _ is to save my friends.”

Major Byrne’s appearance was enough of a distraction to keep her mother from stopping her from dressing again. “Ma'am. Movement in the north woods.”

“Grounders?” Abby asked, turning away from her daughter and heading out the tent. 

“I don't think so.” Major Byrne replied following Abby. 

Clarke followed them slowly as her aching body wouldn’t allow for quicker movement. When the flap of the tent swished closed behind her, she heard a quick “Hi” from beside her. Her eyes land on Raven only moments before they are a tangle of arms. The tight squeeze of Raven’s hug drew a gasp from her as Raven pinched a bruise somewhere on her body. Raven’s arms slacken at the sound, but Clarke just held her tighter for a moment longer before drawing away from her. 

“I’ve been waiting out here all night. Abby said you needed sleep.” Raven said as she slid her hands down Clarke’s arms. 

Watching Raven’s hands trail down her arms drew Clarke’s eyes down to the brace that held Raven’s leg steady. The apology was written heavily on Clarke’s face. “Raven, I -”

“Sucks,” Raven cut her off before she could make a real attempt at an apology. “but I'm dealing with it.

The girls turned to the gate as it opened and they saw Wells, Monroe and a new face she hadn’t seen around camp. Wells' name came unbidden to her lips. Raven nodded for Clarke to go on with only a brief “I’ll catch up.” thrown at her. Clarke turned toward the gate and sprinted, as quickly as her torn up legs would allow, into Wells arms.

He hesitated only a moment before wrapping his arms around her. Her grunt of pain, had him pulling back to look into her battered face. “How many are with you?”

She shook her head, pulling the rest of the way out of his arms. “None. Where’s Finn? Murphy?”

“Looking for you.” He said, but his face was grim. 

Later in the evening at the council meeting, Abby said, “Ok. We gather intel on Mount Weather, and we send a team after Kane. He needs to know that the Grounders don't have those kids.”

Major Byrne turned to Abby, arms clasped behind her back. “What about Finn Collins and John Murphy?”

Abby refused to meet Clarke’s eyes and Clarke knew that she wasn't going to go after them. “What? No. You can't just cut them loose.”

Abby turned back to them, her eyes softening. “Sweetheart, we don't have the manpower to send out two separate rescue missions and protect our camp.”

“Mom. They're in trouble.” Clarke hobbled forward into the center of the room. Anger, clear on her face. “They’re either gonna get themselves killed or they're gonna make things worse with the Grounders, who we need to get our people out of Mount Weather.”

“I know you feel this is unfair. But our priority has to be with Chancellor Kane if there is any hope for peace.” The tone of voice was placating which only fueled Clarke’s anger further. 

“If you wanted peace,” Clarke sneered. “You shouldn't have killed the only Grounder who was gonna help us.”

“I’m sorry. The decision has been made.” Abby’s tone was final, and Clarke knew that she would not change her mind. 

And even though Wells knew that tone of voice well he still steped forward to say. “You’re sorry? Finn and Murphy are out there looking for your daughter with guns you gave us, and now she's home, you're just going to abandon them? If you can't spare the guards, we know the terrain, we have a map. We can do it ourselves.” Clarke nodded, dropping her arms away from where they had been clutching her side. 

“Absolutely not.” Abby turned away from her. 

Clarke’s voice was indignant as she called out to her mom. Abby’s only response was to tell Clarke she just got her back as she shook her head in Clarke’s direction. Jackson’s voice called out to Abby telling her she was needed in medical, pulling Abby away from the conversation that still felt unfinished but not before she told Major Byrne that no one was to leave the camp. The broad blonde only nodded in Abby’s direction. 

Clarke and Wells left the meeting room and made their way over to Raven who looked at Clarke with a question clearly written across her face. The shake of Clarke’s head, heated Raven’s face. As they closed in on Raven, she could see Raven start to open her mouth to argue but before she could get a word out Clarke cut her off, “We’re gonna need guns.”

Wells looked at her in confusion. “We are going after them, Wells. We can’t leave them out there.”

“How are we going to get out of here, the fence is live and Major Byrne is sure to have told everyone that we are not supposed to leave.” Wells said as he helped Clarke sit down when he saw her wince.

Raven cleared her throat, looking away from the pair of them. “I can do it. I can do both of those things. If you give me about 30 minutes.”

“Perfect,” Clarke said, ignoring the concern on Wells' face. “That will give me enough time to get myself wrapped up for walking through the woods and make sure my mom won’t catch us before we leave. Where do you want us to meet you, Raven?”

“There is a section off to the north side of camp where you’ll be able to be hidden as you head out towards the woods.”

They nodded in agreement. “Okay, we will meet you there in 30 minutes.”

Midday found Clarke and Wells moving as quickly through the woods as Clarke could get her body to go. The tension wraps she placed over her injuries helped to stabilize her broken body and minimize the pain enough that she wasn’t limping. 

Clarke turned to Wells as he said, “Last time I saw you, you were closing the dropship door.” At the look of regret on her pale face he winced. “It had to be done.”

Shaking her head, Clarke changed the topic. “Did you get any sleep?”

“It’s ok. I'll sleep when we find Finn.” the long lines of weariness pulled at Wells’ face. “You haven't seen him, Clarke. Losing you, the others, the war, it changed him. He executed the Grounder that drew us the map. Pulled the trigger without even blinking and walked away.”

“That doesn't sound like Finn.” She said in surprise.

“No, it doesn't.” Wells agreed, running his hand over his face. “I saw what he was capable of, and still I let him go with Murphy and 2 automatic rifles.”

“I’m sure that had to be done, too.” She stopped to place her hand on his shoulder, pulling him around to look at her. 

“When we got back to the dropship and no one was there, we assumed it was the Grounders.” Wells sounded wrecked as his sad eyes turned to trace her face. 

“Of course, you did, Wells.” She pulled him into a hug. “You couldn't have known it was the mountain men. No one could have.”

“How long until chocolate cake turns into being hung upside down and drained for their blood?” He finally hugged her back.

“I don't know, but we don't have much time.” She pulled away from him and started walking again. “But first, we find Finn, then our people in Mount Weather.”

As Wells nodded, they suddenly heard the loud pop of a gun going off. Then it began again in earnest. They looked at each other quickly before they took off in a sprint towards the sound. Clarke’s heart was racing in her ears as the adrenaline spiked enough to mask her pain. 

As they tore around a corner into the little village. She stopped, horror filling her body as she saw Finn mowing down elderly people and children alike; not a warrior among the people huddled. She could see Murphy screaming at him to stop. She must have made a sound because suddenly, Finn was turning to look at her. As he approached her with his hand outstretched, she backed away. 

The reverence that he carried in his voice when he said, “I found you” tore a hole in her heart as she shook her head at him. She pulled further away as he continued forward toward her. Only the sound of Murphy and Wells’ voices got her moving as she remembered that they were squarely in enemy territory and they just violated any hope they may have had at peace with the grounders. They turned and fled the area, Murphy pulling Finn along as Clarke rushed ahead of the whole group, trying to keep tears from her eyes. 

\------------

“Heda,” a voice he knew as well as his own mother’s called out to him. One he hadn’t heard in the months since his sister and Lincoln had left on their original mission. 

“Yes, Indra?” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Nothing was working the way he wanted and Gustus was still unwilling to let him in to see the prisoners with nothing concrete set in place.

“Heda,” She started again.

When her voice stalled out, Bellamy finally looked over to her. “Indra?”

“The Sky Rats sent an assassin into my village.” She paused to collect herself. Bellamy allowed her to have a moment without pressuring her. He knew she would talk when she was ready. “He killed 18 of my people. He killed my second.”

Though he knew Octavia was no longer a second but a full-fledged warrior who could have her own second if she wanted to take one, the words still take his breath away. “You know for certain it was them and not the Mountain Men?”

She nodded. “Yes, Heda. Our healer Nyko knows his face. He was at the bridge with Anya when they tried to talk of peace.”

Nodding to her Bellamy turned to the guard at the entryway. “Tell Gustus, to come here immediately and tell him that his Heda will hear nothing except for a solid plan to see to this infestation when he arrives.”

\------------

When they got back to the camp Finn was whisked away to the council room to talk to them about what had just happened. Wells was trying to get her mind off of it as he peppered her with questions about mount weather. Begging her to repeat things repeatedly.

“It's a Labyrinth, we got to the dam through this tunnel.” She pointed to the map that she had drawn to recreate the one she’d been working on in the mountain. “It's all connected to the mine system, that's our way in.”

“Are you sure we can get past the Reapers and the Mountain Men? I swear to god if your mom doesn't sanction the mission soon, I'm going by myself.” Wells sounded more passionate than she ever remembered him sounding. 

“You won't be by yourself.” Her eyes tilt up to his before they fall away to look back at the opening to the council room. 

The sight of Finn exiting the Ark and heading in her direction, sent her heart rate spiking up. Wells' voice drew her back down to the here and now, ripping her eyes away from the approaching boy. “How’s Finn doing?”

“I haven't talked to him since we got back.” She couldn’t meet Wells’ soft eyes. “I don't know what to say, he just kept shooting.”

“We're at war, Clarke, we've all done things.” was the only thing he said before he politely excused himself just as Finn sat down at their table. 

“Mount Weather, what's the plan?” Finn asked. She could see his eyes trying to catch hers, but she couldn’t bring herself to meet his. 

“Still working on it.” was all she said before they were, thankfully, interrupted by Murphy dropping down on the bench next to her. His voice was just as cocky as it always had been. “Check it out, salvaged Monty's still from the dropship. I guess you know if we could salvage Monty, huh.” Finn got up and left as Murphy words spit out towards him, “Easy, just a joke”. 

Murphy’s eyes grabbed hers and she could see the tears in his eyes that didn’t quite fall but still shimmered in the glow for the fires that surround the camp. Her hand reached out to grasp his, her own eyes welling up. She nodded at him as she squeezed his hand. Before they got a chance to put words to their feelings, Raven took the seat that Finn had just vacated. 

“Beat it Murphy.” She said, the malice towards him thick in her voice. 

“Well then, I'm gone.” he captured her eyes again for a moment before lifting himself up and out of the seat at her subtle nod. 

Clarke raised her eyebrow at Raven, silently telling Raven to go ahead. “I know why we haven't heard from any other Ark stations, Mount Weather's jamming us.”

Raven pulled Clarke out of her seat and towards the engineering bay. “I tweaked the resonator and got this. It's on every frequency. Long range communication is totally screwed. It's the same reason the range for our walkies sucks. It's the same signal Monty heard in the black box of the Exodus ship.”

“Mount Weather crashed the Exodus ship.” Clarke’s eyes shot up to meet Raven’s; her thoughts flying around her brain. “Can you get around the signal?”

“Around it, no. But if I can get to the tower that broadcasts it, I can make it go boom.” Her hands mimicked an explosion.

Before they could get any further into discussions Abby’s voice cut in. “No one is going anywhere.”

Clarke’s stammered attempt at stopping her mom from steam rolling the conversation fell on deaf ears. “What do I have to get through to you? You and your friends are not soldiers and continuing to act like you are, puts lives at risk.” Abby’s face was furious. 

“You don't understand,” Clarke’s hands fly up in frustration, her voice lilting up with each word. “Raven found something. Mount Weather is jamming our communications.”

“It's true.” Raven nodded at Abby. “There could be other Ark stations on the ground.” 

“And more guards. You said we don't have enough people to fight a two-front war, Mom, we're already fighting one.” Clarke knew she had Abby’s attention with the furrowed brow on her mother’s face. If she could just press a little further, a little harder in the way that only her father had ever been able to do and get away with, she knew she could get what she wanted. Her mom had always been the one to play it safe and the idea of more guards would be like the sweetest honey to her mother.

Major Byrne was the one to put the brakes on this time. “The grounder retaliation for the massacre could happen at any time and when it does, we need every soldier at this camp.”

Clarke’s eyes were full of fire as she glared at Major Byrne. “So, let us go!”

“You're not gonna stop, are you?” Abby’s voice was wistful as she looked at Clarke in a way she had never before. 

“Not until my friends are safe.” Clarke said, her tone hopeful. She knew she would go either way, but it would be easier if her mom would just get on board. She was still surprised when Abby said that she would go with them. 

Major Byrne’s concerns were cut off before she could even voice them as Abby pointed out that it had been quiet for two days and maybe there would be no retaliation if Kane was making any headway with the commander. 

The major’s tone was petulant as she said, “Or maybe he's dead. And they're massing against us as we speak.”

Abby nodded with an uncomfortable smile. “Maybe, which is why we need more guards.”

Not letting her mom have a moment to change her mind Clarke, smiled and said. “Then it's settled, we're going back to Mount Weather.” 

Raven grabbed Clarke’s hand and she could feel the excitement radiating off the brunette next to her, while her own gut filled with dread. 

\------------

Bellamy followed Gustus into the prison cell where the two sky people were being held, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. He thought, sending his sister might have played off better, she’s smaller and cut a less intimidating presence when she wanted to. The taller of the two men, the one who came with the return of their prisoner to his people, stood as they entered the building.

As the guards fanned out around Gustus he could see the other man who remained seated analyzing what his people were doing. He couldn’t help but think that Gustus was right to have been cautious with that one. His guards moved to stand him up only to be met with resistance. They landed a few blows before the other man turned his frantic eyes towards Gustus. 

“Stop! We came in peace! We came in peace, please!” His deep voice was filled with weakness as he pleaded for his friend. A weakness that he hadn’t come to expect from the resilient sky people.

“You speak of peace when you send an assassin into one of my villages.” Gustus’ voice was angry with the news he had just learned. The loss of those lives could not be forgotten - be forgiven. 

“What are you talking about?” The sky people might have been good liars, but this man was clearly confused as he argued back. 

“Blood must have blood.” Gustus said, a soft chant of the guards followed his words. Pulling a knife from his belt Gustus tossed it at their feet. “One of you will die here, today by the other's hand. We will hear the terms of your surrender from the man who lives. Fetch us when it's done.” Gustus met Bellamy’s eye as he turned to leave. The hint of hesitation was there before he moved out the door, squaring his shoulders and nodding to be followed by the guards. 

Bellamy scooted around the other men, hunching into himself, he could see them tense as he skirted over to the wall as if he was frightened of them. Lifting the pot that was on the ground near his feet he sat down where it had been. Making a show of cleaning it with the rag in his hand. 

The dark man with fire in his eyes turned to the other man and said, “They want us to turn on each other.”

Bellamy couldn’t help but speak up to that. “They want justice.” Though he tried to keep his voice meek there was still the steel of freshly dug graves of his innocent people lacing through his tone.

The taller man pulled his jacket from his arms, roughly throwing it against the ground. His voice cracking as he shouted at the empty space where his guards had just stood. “Lives have been lost on both sides. That's why we need to end this war!”

“What's your name?” The man with curious eyes asked him as he studied him. The heavy weight of his intelligent eyes ran quickly over the length of his person. 

Bellamy tried to hunch down further answering in as mild a voice as possible. The curious man looked at him harder as he introduced himself as Thelonious and the tall desperate man as Marcus. He looked back at Marcus before asking about the assassin that Gustus had mentioned. 

He didn’t have to pretend to tense as he felt the guilt roll through his stomach. “Yes, eighteen of our people were murdered. Elders, children.”

Marcus turned to Bellamy as he told him that they had nothing to do with that.

“It doesn't matter, the commander thinks you did.” He knew that the sky people committed the atrocities, Nyko was familiar with the face of the murder. “One of you must pick up the knife that is our way.”

When Thelonious asked what would happen if they refused to take the other’s life, a small thrill of satisfaction that might not have been his own, ran through him. His voice sounded too pleased when he told them that the commander would use it to slit both of their throats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? I promise even the next chapter will be Bellarke for sure. 
> 
> Stay tuned.


	10. You Were Lookin’ Drop Dead, Not Even a Contest, Center of Attention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off the blonde the whole time they traveled back to his camp. His sister and Lincoln headed back towards her camp to give him further medical attention.
> 
> “Lincoln’s recovery was,” He knows that he shouldn’t allow her to hear the amazement in his voice but somehow he can’t help it. “Impressive. No one’s ever survived such a fate before.”
> 
> Her smile is radiant as she tells him, “It’s not complicated, really. We just have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system. I know we can do the same for others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I wanted to get this out on Friday but my service has been out until today. 
> 
> Here you go! They finally meet.

Raven called to Clarke from where they had stopped, binoculars resting against her face. “I see it.”

Clarke grabbed the binoculars when Raven handed them off to her. No more than half a day’s walk in the distance was the radio tower that was jamming the signal. They shared a look before Clarke called back to her mother. “It'll be dark soon; we'll never spot the traps. We should set up camp here, leave at first light.”

Her mother’s head swiveled about searching for something. “We're missing two. Where the hell are they?” The guards started to look around the immediate area as well, calling their names loudly. 

Abby met Clarke’s eyes with an annoyed look on her face. “Clarke, we're in enemy territory and their lives are my responsibility.”

“Are they?” Clarke’s own irritation with her mother was written just as clearly on her face as she turned away from her. “They went to find a way in.”

Abby grabbed her elbow to stop Clarke from walking away. “A way in, that's not what this mission is about.”

“It is for them.” She said as she yanked her arm away from her mother’s grasping fingers.

Abby told the guard to go find Wells and Murphy and three guards darted away from them, on the heels of her instructions. Clarke’s heart jumped into her throat as Finn grabbed a gun and indicated he was going to follow them, that he was going to help. Raven seemed to feel the same way as she stepped up beside Clarke telling Finn that they needed him there.

“Why? So, you can keep an eye on me?” There was a bite in his voice that wasn’t there before. His eyes rove from Raven’s face to Clarke’s before he spoke again. “You'd have to be able to look at me to do that. What do you think I'm gonna do?”

Finn threw the gun to the ground and took off through the trees in the opposite direction that the guards had gone. Though Clark felt bad she would feel worse if something happened to him and the look on Raven’s face was what she assumed her face mirrored as she told Raven she would go get him before racing off after Finn.

“Finn, come back.” Clarke shouted at his back when she finally saw him up ahead. 

He paused to wait for her with his head hung and shoulders slumped. “It was an accident.” 

He looked like he was going to say more before a whirling, churning noise makes its presence known. The pale yellow of the acid fog started rolling toward them. Finn grabbed her arm and pulled her forward with a shout to run. 

As they ran Clarke pulled out her radio with a desperate hope to reach someone. “Acid fog! Tight cover! Mom if you can hear me use the tent!” She turned to Finn as she realized that she had forgotten her pack. “My tent! I forgot my pack!”

“It's ok, we can make it to the bunker.” he yelled back, putting on another burst of speed, pulling her forward. 

Finn let her go as he saw the hatch for the bunker. Skidding to a stop he yanked the door open with barely enough time for them to jump inside and close the hatch before the fog rolled over top of them. 

The sight of the dead body pulled her up short, her breath catching in her throat. When Finn saw her pause, he raced forward to grab something to cover him with. She started pacing back and forth below the ladder when he looked at her after covering the body. She couldn’t look at him. 

“Stop, I'm sure they're fine. They had tents.” When his voice crossed the distance, she was surprised enough to stop. Turning to face Finn but looking at him still made her feel numb, like the loss of a limb, even though he is still there. Her eyes started so intently at him she could feel every muted emotion she’d ever felt for him race through her. “So first you can't look at me, now you're looking at me like I'm the enemy.”

“I'm not looking at you like that.” She denied it but she knew that she would never look at him with anything but conflicting emotions again.

“Well you're not looking at me the way you used to.” He pulled something that looks vaguely familiar out of his jacket pocket. “I've been waiting for the right moment to give you this. I'm starting to think that moment might not come. I know how much it means to you.”

She stared down at the frayed green band of her father’s watch, her heart clenching in his chest. “Where did you get this?”

He pointed to the covered body. “It was around his neck.” He sat back down on the chair he had just recently vacated with his head in his hands. 

She knew she should say something, but the words didn't come, so she sat down on the floor next to the ladder. Ready to wait out the fog.For hours they sat in the bunker unable to meet each other’s eyes. Clarke was the first to break the silence. 

“They were unarmed.” she pleaded with him. Not sure what she is pleading for exactly, maybe that he could tell her that it wasn’t him or that it had all been a bad dream. “I don't even know who you are anymore.”

“Neither do I.” He said, his head lowered so that his hair covered his eyes.

“What have we become?” She met his eyes for the first time in hours and found him lacking any answers to the questions she had left unasked.

\------------

Thelonious and Marcus had not moved far from where they sat when he had walked in the door. And even though he told them there is no way out of this except for one to die by the other’s hand, Thelonious kept throwing out ideas. He would be lying if some of them didn’t sound enticing, but he’d tried for peace once and it didn’t work. 

Marcus finally seemed to have given into the idea and he told Thelonious that they would only get peace through his sacrifice. Bellamy felt true surprise when Marcus offered the knife to Thelonious. He never thought that was how this would play out. As Thelonious tried to offer Marcus forgiveness for some sin that he felt he had committed, Bellamy found himself leaning closer. They were confusing people and he didn’t understand how to put this together with what he knew of the sky princess. 

Marcus seemed to have a good grasp on his people’s values, which surprised him. What surprised him more was when Marcus told Thelonious, “You're a good man, Thelonious, and I won't let you die for me.” before pulling the knife across his wrist.

Thelonious was suddenly begging for help, and he found himself handing off some bandages before he realized what he was doing. He knew that the other commanders would have something to say about that later. What shouldn’t surprise him is when Thelonious was done wrapping Marcus’s arms, he grabbed Bellamy and pressed the blade against his throat, despite Marcus’s begging him not too.

When Gustus came back in the cell Thelonious was still pressing the knife against him, but his hold was weak. The fear in Gustus’s eye was real but Bellamy just shook his head at him. 

“Take off these chains.” Thelonious demanded of Gustus. 

“Please, Jaha, he's just an innocent kid.” Marcus pleaded with Thelonious.

“Em don sad klin,” He said to Gustus in Trigedasleng, warning him that the weak man behind him was his. Bellamy slammed his head backwards into Thelonious’s nose. He grabbed one of the man’s flailing arms and yanked him over his shoulder and slammed him to the ground. He pressed his fingers to the pressure points on his hand forcing him to drop the knife. Scooping up the knife he pressed it against Thelonious’ throat and pressed his knee into the soft of his stomach. 

Bellamy turned to his guards as he stood, all of whom had not moved a muscle. “Ai don sen in chit bilaik ai gaf sen in.” 

The guards and Gustus murmured their understanding as he moved to stand in front of them. They moved forward to place his armor over his shoulders and Gustus held out his hand to give him the sign of the commander to place between his brows. The two sky men were staring at him confused as he stood to his full height. 

“You're the commander?” Marcus asked.

“I've learned much about you, your intentions are honorable, your desire for peace is true. Breik em au. Later we will talk,” Bellamy turned to leave, and his guards started to move in towards Thelonious. “in the meantime, your friend will be used to send a message. The massacre must be answered. Blood must have blood.”

\------------

When the fog had lifted Clarke and Finn took off to meet up with the rest of the group right as they were entering the clearing around camp. Her mother pulled her into a tight hug when they entered the camp. Clarke pulled back and asked if Murphy and Wells had made it back. 

“They know tp rendezvous here.” Abby reassured Clarke as if she didn’t already know that. 

“Well, have you tried to radio?” Clarke looked to Raven, not remembering having heard the explosion. 

`

“Still jammed.” Raven smirked. 

Clarke raised her eyebrows at the happy expression on Raven’s face. “You didn't blow the tower.”

“Raven found a way that we could listen to Mount Weather. If we took out the antenna, we wouldn't be able to do that.” Abby said, as if proud of herself. 

“What about the other Ark stations?” Clarke turned to face her mother fully as she asked the question.

“We don't know if they made it, what we do know is that 47 of our people are being held prisoner in that mountain. We're gonna get them out.” Abby shrugged as if this was the most obvious answer. As if this had been her plan all along. Clarke pulled her mother into her for a quick hug as emotion overflowed from her.

The sound of commotion drew all of them back to the entrance of camp. When they got back to the gate they saw Jaha stand up out of the tall grass with his hands in the air. She heard her mother whisper his name as he fell back to his knees. His body, barely able to hold him up. “I have a message from the commander. Leave or die, we have two days.” He said before collapsing. 

\------------

Bellamy sat atop his speckled gray stallion, the one that was gifted to him when he became the commander. He watched as more and more warriors drew in around him as they prepared to march on the sky people’s camp. An uneasy feeling had settled in his stomach as he stroked the neck of the proud animal below him. 

The sight of his sister beside him as she spoke to her warriors, should have filled him with calm. The warriors that would be flanking his own personal guard. But the haggard lines of loss ran deep into his sister’s face, the stark contrast to how happy they had been before the whole mess with the sky people. She couldn’t even look at him, the blame at her loss of Lincoln sitting squarely on his shoulders.

Gustus rode up beside him, silently meeting his eyes. With a nod he pressed his heels into the sides of his horse, urging him into a gentle walk. It was time to get rid of these people once and for all. 

\------------

When her mother and Jaha reappear in front of the ark, Clarke, Raven and Finn moved closer through the crowd that had gathered.

“By now, you’ve all heard the rumor. And unfortunately, it’s true. The Grounders are coming. We have a difficult decision to make. Thankfully, Chancellor Jaha has found his way back to us and we are discussing all options -” Abby began before being cut off by Jaha. 

“But to be safe, you need to pack. Now. Whatever you can carry. We may need to leave at a moment’s notice.” The wild look in his eye met the crowd as a voice rose above them asking where they would go. “I don’t know, is the answer. But I have heard of a place. A city of light. It’s across the Dead Zone.”

Another voice asking what made him think that they would even make it there, had Jaha’s wild eyes settling into madness. The charm that had always been a part of who he was, was no less present as he turned to the man. “Because we made it here. I have faith. And right now, given the alternative. That’s good enough for me.”

Clarke couldn’t keep her mouth shut any longer as she moved closer. “It’s not good enough for us. If we leave here, what happens to our people in Mount Weather. Will we always be disposable to you? Will their children always be who you choose to throw away for your own convenience?”

He looked at her with frustration on his face. “As your mother said, that is a very difficult decision to make.” He turned back to the crowd. “But the time has come for each and every one of us to ask, “Is this how the story of our people ends? Did we come all this way just to die tomorrow?” Because if we’re not gone by the time the sun rises, that is exactly what will happen.”

Abby finally stepped around Jaha, her face uneasy as she looked at him for a moment before turning back to the crowd. “No decision’s been made. In the meantime, please report to your station supervisor and gather emergency supplies.”

A hand on Clarke’s shoulder made her jump. Turning she met the nervous face of Murphy. She pulled him into a hug as she asked him where he had been. 

“In the dropship. You need to come back with me right now.” He told her as he looked around to make sure he wasn't overheard. 

“Why? What happened. Is Wells okay?” She looked around for the other boy that had been with Murphy when they took off from the group. 

“He’s okay. I’ll explain on the way. Bring your med kit; meet me at Raven’s gate.” He took off back the way he had come. 

Finn, who must have heard the whole conversation between her and Murphy, came behind her. “This is my fault,” He said. “The grounders are attacking because of me.”

She shook her head, though she knew the truth. “The grounders are attacking because that’s what they do.”

He pulled back from her, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. “Go with Murphy. Your mom said no decision has been made. If that changes, I’ll let you know.”

She turned around to follow Murphy but not before throwing one more glance over her shoulder to look back at the heavily burdened young man behind her. She turned back forward, grabbing the first med kit she saw as she moved to follow Murphy. 

Though he told her what happened, the sight of Lincoln’s kind eyes having turned murderous was still startling. She pulled back, bumping into Murphy who stood behind her. “It’s okay.” he said. “He’s been restrained.”

Wells' voice broke her stare from the grounder in front of her. “He helped you before, he saved you as well. We couldn’t leave him like this. Can you help him?”

“I don’t know.” She met his soft eyes. The grief she felt at this kind soul’s fate, left her feeling more inadequate than she had in a long time, since she had stood useless as they floated her father. “I knew Mount Weather controlled the reapers, but I had no idea they were creating them.”

Murphy spoke again, sounding distraught. “If they can do this to him. What are they doing to our friends?” 

Their eyes met and they shared a look of fear, before the rattling of chains drew her attention back to Lincoln as he started to convulse. She told them so, as the boys looked to her for guidance, guidance she wasn’t sure she could give. When she asked what happened to his leg as she started to do a visual evaluation without getting too close to him. Murphy told her that they shot him, and he’s lost a lot of blood. 

“Can you shine a light on his neck?” Taking a deep breath, she moved closer to the still shaking man. “Needle marks.”

She’s not sure who asked if he was being drugged but she barely had time to answer them before Lincoln ripped an arm free from his bonds. Leaning forward he made a grab for Clarke and Murphy barely pulled him off before he sank his teeth into her neck. Wells grabbed the other arm just as the chain came free from the wall. 

Clarke looked around, finding a pipe on the ground she swung it hard into the back of his head as the two boys struggled to get him under control. He dropped as the metal met the back of his head and Wells and Murphy moved quickly to re-restrain him. 

“We have to stop the bleeding and get the bullet out. We hav-” she cut off her nervous rambling, taking a deep breath she looked up to meet Wells’ eyes over Lincoln’s unconscious frame. “Hold his leg down.”

\------------

As they neared where the sky people first landed, he told the men behind him to check out the dropship; to make sure they weren't hiding and trying to flank them. He saw Octavia moving off with two men. He knew she would be safe, that she’d taken one of their healers with her offered him a small amount of comfort. At least if she got hurt, he could quickly help her. 

He turned his eyes back to the front and he kept the horse below him moving at a steady pace. They’d arrive just before nightfall, hopefully with enough time to watch the rats skitter out of the way of his people.

\------------

It took longer than she would like to get the bullet out, but she was thankful that he remained unconscious while she dug into his flesh. As she was wrapping up the wound he finally woke, the grunt of pain sounded weak until she pulled the wrap tight to keep the wound from reopening. 

She moved to offer him some water, and he offered to bite her instead. The water in the cup fell upon his face as her hands shook. “I’ll go get some more. Watch him.”

A hand over her mouth startled her as she was filling the cup back up. A feminine shushing came from the owner of the hand. Clarke pulled at the hand, pulling it away from her face before turning to meet the green eyes of the girl that had been with Lincoln on the bridge. “What are you doing here?” She asks the grounder girl. 

“I’m trying to make Lincoln’s sacrifice worth it. The scouts have arrived, and the commander is true to his word. If you do not leave. You will die.” Clarke fidgeted in front of her. Her eyes darted to the dropship before turning back to the pretty brunette. “Let me save you. It’s what he would have wanted.”

Lincoln’s screaming growl drug Clarke’s eyes closed as she prepared herself to have a conversation she had hoped to avoid until she knew if he made it through the detox. “What was that.” The girl asked. 

Clarke sighed. “That was Lincoln.” The girl started to take off toward the dropship before Clarke’s hand grabbed her arm. The girl’s fierce eyes almost made her drop her hand, but she knew she needed to explain before the girl saw him. “He’s been drugged by Mount Weather. They are making the reapers.”

“We know this.” She growled. 

“We can help him. Turn him back, but he was hurt, and I just finished fixing him up. You can come see him but let me go first. My friends will not react well if you go charging in there without me.” 

“Our healer came with me. Let me grab him.” Clarke nodded quickly, moving back to refill the cup that had once again been spilled by a grounder. 

They met back at the ladder in moments. She climbed up before them quickly telling Murphy that they had visitors. The grounder girl who’s name, if she remembered correctly was Octavia, looked horrified seeing Lincoln chained to the ground. Clarke tried to reassure her that it was not as bad as it seemed, and they just needed to get him sober. 

The healer who she watched closely was looking over Lincoln with a critical eye. When Lincoln started seizing again, she moved in closer to kneel next to him. The healer pulled a vial out of some yellow liquid and he didn’t answer her when she asked what it was, he just whispered “Yu gonplei ste odon.”

Clarke knew she recognized that saying and her eyes flicked up to look at Octavia’s devastated face. It finally clicked that the last time she heard that was when Anya snapped the young man’s neck in the tunnels and then again after she’d been shot.

“Wait!” she cried. Her hand darted out just in time to catch the liquid on her hand. The burn of it made her believe that she was right. “That’s what you say before death, isn’t it? He’s trying to kill him, isn’t he?”

The tears falling down Octavia’s cheeks confirmed it for Clarke. “Death is the only way.” Is what the healer said as he turned his face up to look at Octavia and she nodded.

“Hold on.” Clarke cut in. “There could be a way to bring him back.”

“None that I’ve ever seen.” He looked up to Clarke. 

The echo of feet on the ladder and the sound of Finn’s voice saying the camp was leaving are the only heads up they got before all hell broke loose. In a whirl of movement, the healer had Finn pressed up against the side of the dropship with his forearm pressed against his throat. He was shouting something in their language in Finn’s face. 

Murphy and Wells both had their guns cocked at the healer. Murphy’s voice is dangerously low as he told the healer to let him go.

“He slaughtered my people.” The healer told them, his arm pressed into Finn’s neck with every punctuated word. “Elders. Children. Innocents. Blood must have blood.”

Murphy pressed his gun to the healers back. “I’m not going to tell you again. Let him go.” The healer finally backed away from Finn.

Octavia’s broken voice calling Lincoln’s name drew everyone’s attention back to Lincoln who wasn’t breathing. Clarke ran back to his side, setting her hand against his carotid. “His heart stopped.” She shoved Octavia aside with a quick “move” and started pumping his chest, trying to bring it back to rhythm. It takes her a minute but suddenly Lincoln was gasping another breath.

The healer and Octavia were staring at her. He was the one to speak “How did you do that? He was dead.” His voice was astounded.

Clarke’s mind was running wild. “You’ve tried to bring them back before?” he nodded at her. “And they died like this?” another nod.

Murphy asked her what she was thinking as she stared down the healer. A small smile pulled her lips up. “I know how to stop the attack.” 

She pulled the boys aside and told them her plan. She eyed the two grounders who were hovering over Lincoln’s body. “He’s stable for now. Finn should come with me back to camp. Murphy can you and Wells keep an eye on him. If his heart stops again, Wells you know CPR.”

The boys both nodded and her and Finn took off back towards camp. They got a couple miles from camp when Finn pulled her aside. “Even if you can save, Lincoln, he won’t be the same. The things he’s done.” His voice became a whisper. “It’ll stay with him.”

She shook her head at him. “We don’t know that.”

Finn’s dark eyes met hers. “Yes. We do.”

“Lincoln is savable.” She put her hand on Finn’s bicep before running it down his arm. “And so are you.”

He didn’t look like he believed her as he told her to hurry and took off towards the camp again.

\------------

Bellamy looked around as they set up his tent. His sister has still not made it back. He knew that he didn’t have time to worry but he couldn’t help the anxiety that rose in his chest the longer she was out of his sight. 

He looked towards the Sky people’s camp; and it made him happy to see them scramble to pack before the might of his army. A movement off to the side of their camp drew his eyes. He knew the bright blonde splash of hair was not one of his people attempting to get in their camp. His warriors had all hidden their hair, if it was not going to blend in with their surroundings. 

He pointed it out to Gustus who stood beside him, telling him to have some men go out and check their flank to make sure they hadn’t planted anything that might hurt their people. Gustus nodded before floating off to the side. He could see that his tent was up but he was content for the moment to watch the sky people. 

\------------

Clarke ran through camp looking for her mother, when she finally saw her at the ramp into the ark. She called out to her. 

Abby’s face whipped around to look at her. “Where have you been? We’re leaving.”

“I know how to stop the attack.” They pulled her into the meeting room. Jaha finally turned to her when the door closed behind Finn.

His eyes, just as wild as they had been earlier. “What are you talking about?”

“We haven’t been able to negotiate with the Grounders because we haven’t had anything to offer them.” She stared hard into Jaha’s face. “The biggest threat they face is from the Reapers. I think we may be able to eliminate that threat for them, once and for all.”

Abby’s curious features met Clarke’s eyes. “How?”

“Abby. You can’t seriously -” the sound of Grounder horns cut him off. “They’re here.”

Clarke took advantage of Jaha’s distraction, she quickly informed her mom about Lincoln’s condition. When Jaha looked back at them she said, “Look. They aren’t attacking yet, which means we still have time.”

“We have two hours ‘til dawn.” Abby reminded her. 

“Let me talk to the commander.” Clarke begged her mother. “Anya knew him. Maybe he’ll listen.”

“We don’t even know if the Commander is here.” Jaha growled. 

“Yes, we do.” Clarke’s voice was hard. “Octavia told me. You have to at least let me try.”

Ignoring Clarke, Jaha rounded on Abby. “Abby, we are wasting time.” The spittle flew out of his mouth. “Give me the authority. Now!”

“Hold on.” Abby said holding a hand up towards Jaha. “Clarke, you said that Lincoln is going through withdrawal. We don’t even know what he’s withdrawing from. The detox alone could kill him.”

She nodded. “That’s where you come in.”

Abby’s hand landed on Clarke’s shoulder. “And if I can’t save him?”

“That” Clarke’s eyes closed as she took a deep breath before meeting her mom’s eyes again. “Is not an option.”

“We are risking everything on a bluff?” Jaha shouted. “Abby. We have an out. We have a way to save the lives of our people.” 

Finn who’s been standing quietly beside Clarke finally cut in. “Not all of them.”

“We will come back to save the kids!” Jaha rounded on Finn.

The anger in Finn’s voice made Clarke nervous. “We all know that is not going to happen!”

“Abby, this has gone on long enough.” Clarke watched Jaha take stock of the room. She knew that he had a sharp mind, it’s where Wells got his ability to frustrate her every time they played chess as children. She knew that if he could take an inch, he would take a mile. “If you do not give the order to begin the exodus, you are killing us all.”

“I’m sorry.” Abby said looking at Clarke and her heart dropped into her stomach. When she turned to Jaha and told him that she couldn’t give that order Clarke thought she might faint in relief. Though he tried to bully Abby into it, she did not sway. 

Seeing that Abby would not do as he said Jaha turned his wild eyes on guards near the door. “I am the elected Chancellor of the Ark. I’m not going to let you risk the lives of more people; Do you understand?” he looked down at Abby. “I’m going to ask you once again. Give the order to begin the exodus.”

Abby’s stony eyes met the back of Jaha’s head. “No, are you through?”

“Sergeant Miller. Major Byrne. I’m relieving Doctor Griffin of her command.” He turned back to Abby. “Place these three into custody, but make sure they are ready to leave with the rest of us within the hour.”

The roar that came from him when they didn’t move scared Clarke enough to take a step back. “Right now, Major! Or the blood of everyone in this camp will be on your hands too.”

“Major Byrne, Sergeant Miller.” Abby moved towards Jaha. “Put Chancellor Jaha in the stockade.”

They nodded and started to move towards Jaha. When Jaha turned on Abby and asked why she was throwing everything away, Clarke was thrown by her mother’s response that she had faith in her daughter. Clarke thanked her with soft eyes. 

“I’ll send the guard detail with you” Abby said.

“No.” She shook her head. “They’ll see it as a threat. I have to do this on my own. Finn will take you to Lincoln.”

She hugged Abby before turning to leave, but not before Abby told her that if this didn’t work then they all would die.

\------------

Bellamy watched as the head of long blond curls made its way towards his camp. He couldn’t help but marvel at her bravery. She was walking into a camp of known enemies and doing so with her head up high as if she was about to greet friends. He could spot the limp she had, and he wondered where she acquired that. 

He turned back towards his tent and told Gustus to greet their guest and find out why she was here. He paced his tent while he waited for her. When he heard Gustus threatening her he sat back into the throne that had been placed at the back of the tent. A luxury he would have foregone if he had his choice.

The face that he saw when the tent parts, took him back a step. He had only a moment to school his face into a picture of calm. Though her face was covered in scabs and bruises and though one of her lips is fat from some contact, he couldn’t deny that she was beautiful. And her blue eyes were fierce as she looked at him, elevating his pulse.

His sister whipped into the tent without any announcement. His heart unclenched and his shoulders relaxed slightly. She swept up to him and whispered into his ear that he needed to listen to the girl in front of him. She sounded lighter than she had in days and in his brief view of her face, he noticed a brightness to her eyes he’d only ever seen Lincoln put there. “This is the leader of the sky people. The one that has been on the ground since the beginning. Clarke.”

He nodded at her before she moved back behind his shoulder. “You’re the one who burned three hundred of my warriors alive.”

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.” She fired back and his lip twitched up unconsciously.

“Do you have an answer for me, Clarke of the Sky People?” 

Her eyebrow raised but she didn't respond right away. He could feel her eyes tracing his face before she said, “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

He narrowed his eyes in annoyance. “This is not a negotiation.” 

Indra who stood opposite Octavia behind him begged him to allow her to end this and kill the girl. Somehow, he couldn’t imagine not having this girl around somewhere in the world, even though he'd only met her less than two minutes ago. He held his hand up to stall Indra. 

Clarke’s eyes flicked up to Indra before turning back on him. “I can help you beat the mountain men.”

The honesty in her eyes, struck him. “Go on” he heard himself saying to her. 

He watched her shift uncomfortably on the leg she’d been limping on during her walk over. “Hundreds of your people are trapped inside Mount Weather, kept in cages. Their blood is used as medicine.” 

“How do you know this?” He shifted in his seat. 

“Because I saw them. My people are prisoners there, too. I was one of them.” Her face was pleading with him to believe her and he couldn’t help but wonder if that was where she got hurt. 

“Lies.” Indra’s harsh voice cut in before he could say anything else. “No one escapes the mountain.” 

“I did!” She said her eyes were hard on Indra’s face. “With Anya. We fought our way out together.”

“Another Lie. Anya died in the fire. You killed her.” Indra took a step forward. He could see his sister’s eyes cutting towards Indra and for the first time in his life he couldn’t help but notice his sister disagreed fundamentally with her mentor. 

Clarke’s hand reached tentatively into her pocket. Her eyes pleading with him to let her pull whatever was in there. He held his hand up, stopping his people from making any further movement toward her and nodded to her. The lock of dirty blonde hair in her hand was familiar. “She told me you were from the same village. I’m sure she’d want you to have this.”

Before he could say anything, Indra cut in again. Her anger clouding her sense of protocol. “We don’t even know it’s hers.”

“Shop of, Indra” He said. “Anya was my mentor before I was called to lead our people. Did she die well?”

She nodded. “Yes. By my side, trying to get a message to you.”

He looked startled. “What message?”

Her eyes were hard as their eyes locked. He almost didn’t hear her say, “The only way to save both our people is if we join together.”

The sound of Indra’s voice once again startled him from his reprieve. “Those who are about to die will say anything.”

“Listen to her Big Brother.” Octavia said softly from behind him. Indra’s hard eyes stared Octavia down, just as Clarke’s fierce eyes softened on Octavia before meeting his again.

“I’m still waiting for an offer, Clarke.” His eyebrow raised. 

“The Mountain Men are turning your people into reapers.” His sister’s soft exhale tore at his heart. “I can turn them back. I’ve done it with Lincoln.”

His heart stilled for a moment which gave Indra time to step forward. “That traitor is the reason -” 

“Indra” He growled, cutting off her angry rant. 

“My village was slaughtered by your people.” She just kept rolling forward as if he’d said nothing. 

He stood up and turned to Indra. “Em Pleni!” He shouted. His voice softened as he turned back toward Clarke. “You say you can turn Reapers back to men?”

“Yes.” Her voice was as earnest as her eyes were pleading.

“Then prove it. Show me Lincoln.” He said. She nodded moving away from him. He saw a soft smile on her face that mirrored the smile on his sister’s face. He couldn't help the light feeling in his chest as he imagined having his best friend back at his side, with his sister, where he belonged.

\------------

The beautiful man behind her unnerved her. His stoic face gaver her nothing to go on, but his intense eyes burned her. As they rounded the corner to the drop ship, she prayed that Lincoln had held on long enough. That she hadn’t killed her people. 

She crawled up the ladder ahead of the small contingent of people that insisted on following the commander. As soon as she stood up on the top level of the drop ship, she knew something had gone terribly wrong. Her face was hard as she met her mother’s eyes and she subtly shook her head.

When the final grounder breached the floor, for the second time that day all hell broke loose. Everyone who didn’t have a sword to their throat had a gun cocked and pointed at the grounders. Clarke’s whole body was shaking as her eyes pleaded with the commander. “Please. You don’t have to do this.”

“You lied,” His low gravelly voice bit out. “And you're out of time.”

Abby, who had grabbed the shock baton in the confusion, lept towards Lincoln’s still form. When she brought the baton down on Lincoln’s chest his body traveled up to follow the baton. 

“Hit him again.” Clarke told her mother. 

She did it two more times before Lincoln drew in a sharp gasp. He’s eyes frantically searching before they landed on Octavia’s face. When he called her name, Octavia fell to her knees by his head. Clarke’s eyes welled up in relief as she watched their quiet reunion.

She looked up to meet the commander’s eyes and saw that his eyes had welled up as well. He looked so relieved. His mouth forming a silent thank you and she nodded back.

\------------

He hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off the blonde the whole time they traveled back to his camp. His sister and Lincoln headed back toward her camp to give him further medical attention.

“Lincoln’s recovery was,” He knew that he shouldn’t allow her to hear the amazement in his voice but somehow, he couldn’t help it. “Impressive. No one’s ever survived such a fate before.”

Her smile was radiant as she told him, “It’s not complicated, really. We just have to keep them alive long enough for the drug to leave their system. I know we can do the same for others.”

“You may have your truce.” He smiled in return to her as she thanked him. He knew she wouldn’t be thanking him when he told her the next bit of what he needed from her, but he allowed her to thank him now. “I just need one thing in return.” 

“Anything,” He winced internally at her openness. “Tell me.”

“Deliver me the one that you call Finn.” He watched her face fall and his heart went out to her. He knew that he had to ask for this. His people would demand this of him, and so had he to demand this of her. “Our truce begins with his death.”

The grief on her face almost made him want to say forget it. That they could have their truce some other way. He could see her blue eyes darting back and forth trying to think up another way to make this work, but he knew she would do this. She was smart and strong. She was desperate and desperation would make people do crazy things; do wicked things. 

She finally nodded her understanding. He watched with regret as the weight of what needed to happen settled on her shoulder. Watched as that weight started to drag her down before she rolled her shoulders back and lifted her head. She turned and left him as two of his riders followed her back, so they could bring her decision back to him. As he watched her go, he knew this would be one of the moments he regretted for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! The bellarke meeting happened. :)


	11. If I Had to Say Every Time You Looked Amazing, You’d Think I Was Joking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven’s heart wrenching screams can be heard across the distance. If Clarke had anything left she would feel her heart breaking again, but there is a coldness that’s seeping into her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And two chapters in two days. I'm going to try and get another one out by friday.

Clarke walked back into camp as calmly as she could. The two riders and their dark as night steeds trailed behind her. She grabbed Finn when she neared him and pulled him towards the ark. “You can't be out here.”

“What did she say?” Abby prompted as Clarke tried to move further into the camp. “Is there a chance for a truce?”

Clarke couldn’t meet anyone’s eye as she nodded yes. 

. 

“What’s wrong?” Finn asked as he pulled his arm gently from her grip. 

“They want you.” She said, the words falling off her tongue quietly. Looking at Finn, her eyes welled with tears. “If we want a truce, we have to give them Finn.”

Raven’s angry voice cut over the murmuring crowd that was listening in. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“That’s their offer.” She shrugged as she looked at Raven.

Raven cried out moving closer to Finn. “That’s not an offer.”

“It’s punishment.” Finn’s eyes met Clarke’s as she nodded. “For what happened at the village. Blood for blood.”

Clarke hated that she had to tell them that the grounders would attack if they refused. The people around camp started to move in on them. Shouting for them to hand over Finn. The guard tried to push them back but when someone moved in on them and bumped Raven, the mechanic turned around and started swinging. Unfortunately, when Raven swung she hit Major Byrne and the other guards converged on her, pinning her to the ground. 

Clarke leaned down to Raven who was laying on the ground and told her. “Nothing is gonna happen to him. I promise, ok?” Raven nodded and the tears in her eyes broke Clarke’s heart. 

\------------

Bellamy paced his tent, running his hands through his hair. He hated that he had to do this to her. He could see it in Clarke’s face that she cared for that boy. She cared for so many. Like he did. And he knew that he would sacrifice more if it would save all his people, but he has 12 other people in his head counseling him. 

She has no one except those who are woefully unprepared. She’s only barely brushed the worst of humanity, and this would get worse for her before would get better. 

Finally, he sat down and closed his eyes. It was time to seek counsel from the other commanders, before he made a mistake that got him killed. Before his runaway heart did something that he couldn’t take back, like let Clarke’s friend off the hook. 

\------------

“Hey, man. Byrne actually gave me a gun. I guess we really are screwed, huh?” Murphy turned to Finn, trying to cut the tension that weighed them all down. Clarke’s eyes darted up to his with a quick shake of her head. “Look, we kicked their asses last time. We’ll do it again.”

Finn’s voice was no more than a whisper and his eyes were dull with worry. “A lot of people died last time.”

Wells approached them telling them that they were reinforcing all defenses. That no one was getting past that wire. When Finn offered to go add himself where it was thin, Wells grabbed on to Finn’s arm and started pulling him towards the Ark. Wells reassured him that B Corridor was easier to defend if it came down to that. When Finn’s protest about hiding met Clarke’s ears she told him that right now it was just about keeping him safe and that she was going to talk to Lincoln to try to find another way. 

Murphy’s forlorn expression met Clarke’s “Any orders for me, princess?” He tried for a smirk in her direction, but it fell flat as his eyes flicked to Finn’s retreating form. “Just trying to be helpful.” he said in response to her sigh. 

Clarke’s hand fell on his bicep for a moment before she ran it up over her face; into the wild blonde locks at her temples.

“I tried to stop him.” Murphy said but she could still hear the regret in his voice. 

Her hands pulled at the ends of her hair. “I know.”

“He was out there looking for you, Clarke.” Their eyes met, neither one quite knowing where to go from here. 

“I know.” She said before turning to head towards med bay. 

When she reached Lincoln’s cubicle, she pulled the curtain open only to see Lincoln handcuffed to the bed. Octavia stood at his head looking frustrated and uncomfortable surrounded by technology. 

Clarke grabbed her mother’s arm before she could zip over to the other side of his bed to check the wound she had hastily stitched up earlier that day. “Hang on. He’s not a Reaper anymore. He doesn't need to be restrained.”

Lincoln’s voice saying that he did need to be restrained surprised her and clearly frustrated Octavia if her huff of breath was anything to go by. 

Abby sighed as well as if this was a battle they’d been trying to fight with him to no conclusion. “Just tell us. Is there a way to make peace?”

It's Octavia’s voice that asked, “Did he leave riders behind?”

Abby nodded as she confirmed that two were waiting outside the gate. 

“They’re waiting for Finn.” Lincoln said, his voice troubled. “You don't have much time to decide.” 

“He can't expect us to just hand over one of our own people.” Clarke knew her voice was demanding of him, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “Would he do that?”

“He wouldn't let the rest of his people die to protect a murderer.” Octavia said but her tone lacked the regret that Lincoln’s did. “If you don't do this, he will kill everyone in this camp.” 

“There has to be something else that we can offer.” Abby’s weak voice pleaded. 

“Finn took 18 lives.” Lincoln’s voice was a little more passionate. The loss in his voice tore at Clarke. “The commander's offering to take just one in return. Take the deal.”

“How can you say that? Finn was the first person to come to you to offer peace. He’s your friend.” She couldn’t stop herself from asking. Resigned to the fact that this Lincoln was not the Lincoln they knew before. 

“He massacred my village. Some of the dead were my friends, too.” He bit out. 

“But that wasn't Finn.” Clarke said, her voice pleading with him. “You know that's not who he is.”

“It is now.” He closed his eyes in resignation. “We’ve all got a monster inside of us, Clarke, and we're all responsible for what it does when we let it out.”

Abby’s voice sounded breathless when she asked what they would do to him. Lincoln said nothing for a long time and just when she thought they wouldn't get an answer, Octavia stepped forward. “Fire. Because he killed the innocent, it starts with fire.”

“Starts?” It was Clarke’s turn to sound breathless.

“They’ll take his hands. His tongue, his eyes. And anyone who grieves will have a turn with the knife.” Octavia’s voice was resolute. As if she could see that they were struggling with this and she would like to get this over as quickly as they could in order to not hurt these people who gave her back Lincoln. “At sunrise, the commander will end it with his sword. But I've never known anyone to survive until the sword. He killed 18, he will suffer the pain of 18 deaths. Then we can have peace.”

\------------

Bellamy used to like to spend his time meditating. It used to be quiet in his mind, with only his own thoughts to entertain himself with. But now, his head was never quiet. Nevertheless, he sat down at the counsel table in his mind and he was usually surrounded by the commanders of days passed. 

His favorite was Lexa kom Trikru. She had a gentle way about her and a sharp mind. SheidHeda still scared him with his intensity, but Becca Pramheda always had the most relevant mind when dealing with the Mountain Men and now the sky people. Her understanding of them had helped Bellamy more than anyone else. 

Today the only one that greeted him at the table was Lexa. He was not sure if the others had decided to ignore him while they waited for the Sky Princess’s decision or if his mind called only to Lexa. 

Her face was passive, but her eyes were expressing her deep concern for him. “You desire her, don’t you Bellomi?” 

Unable to deny what they already knew he nodded, offering no explanation. “And yet, you still ask of her the thing she will hate you for.” He nodded again, no words falling from his lips as he stared at her. “That is unerringly wise of you. I did not think you had it in you.”

“Why?” he dared to ask.

“Do not mistake my words, I am proud of how my spirit chose,” her lips quirked up at one corner. “But love is weakness and you love too much. I’ve told you before; that your sister hinders you but at least your sister is a warrior. This girl will cause you nothing but grief. My Costia was not a warrior and my heart paid the price of learning this lesson that I’m trying to spare you.”

“I understand Lexa.” He shifted in his seat. “I saw how losing Lincoln almost killed my sister. I don’t plan on making that same mistake.”

She nodded at him, but he could tell she didn’t believe him. He wasn’t sure if he believed himself. “Very well. Let’s discuss the next steps.”

With those words the other commanders filed into the room and took their places at the table. SheidHeda offers only that they kill all of the sky rats. The others ignored him but started to offer solutions to the problem of the Mountain Men if the sky people agreed to their sacrifice.

\------------

When Clarke entered the tent, she found Finn packing a bag. Looking around in confusion she walked further into the tent. “Finn? Wells told me you were here. What are you doing?”

“I have to go.” His frantic packing didn’t slow. 

“Where?” Clarke’s hand lightly rested on the bag in his hands to stop his frantic movements. Trying to get him to look at her. “There's nowhere to go.”

“I’m putting everyone in this camp in danger.” He almost shouted as he pulled the bag from her grasp. Clarke’s hands came up to her chest as she took a step back from him.

“There are Grounders everywhere, Finn.” She said before moving back in closer to Finn. “They’ll kill you.”

“Maybe that's what I deserve.” His body was a picture of regret as his voice whispered his brokenness. “For what I've done.”

“You were trying to find our people. Trying to save us.” She turned her head, trying to get his eyes to meet hers. 

“No, I was trying to save you, Clarke.” The bag dropped from his hand as he moved closer to her, grabbing her hands in his.

“Finn.” Her voice trailed off at the look in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you.” His words drew an involuntary gasp from her. “Everything that's happened, everything I've done. All that matters is that you're ok. That you forgive me. Say something, please.”

Clarke stared at him for a moment, her heart in her throat, “Don’t leave. Please.” she said as she pulled away from him. She couldn’t go down that path again with him. Her heart couldn’t take any more, just as her body begged her to take a moment of respite, so did her shattered heart. 

\------------

When Bellamy rose from his chair, he looked over to Gustus who had been standing quietly against the side of his tent. “Bring me the prisoner. If they refuse, we will send him in to “convince” them that our best chance for peace is this.”

Gustus nodded before Bellamy called out to him, stopping him in the doorway. “Make sure that Marcus understands the stakes of this.”

A chastened smile graced Gustus’ face as he exited the tent. 

\------------

The grounders that surrounded the camp begin to chant “Jus drein, jus daun!” Repeatedly until the sound became deafening, drawing her and Finn out of the tent to watch as they pounded their weapons and feet in time with their chanting.

“This is it. We have to get you inside.” She said as she tried to push Finn back toward the ark. 

Murphy grabbed Finn as he started to haul him into the ark. “They’re trying to scare us.” He threw over his shoulder, a brief flash of his cutting eyes towards Clarke. 

“I think we should pull back and go inside the station.” Abby was saying as Clarke approached her at the gate. 

“No.” Clarke shook her head. “We need to prove we're not afraid.”

“What if I am?” Abby asked. 

Clarke couldn’t believe her mother. “Fake it.” She almost sneered. The reminder of her mother’s sins floated before her eyes.

Abby’s eyes cut to Clarke at the tone of voice before she told the guard to open the gate. She moved forward to the riders who asked where Finn was. “We’re not giving him up. We’re ready to fight if that's what it comes to.” 

They shouted as they turned to ride away and the grounders in the camp replied in kind. The whole camp was up in arms as the shouting continued. The fear level was palpable. Then suddenly a horn sounded and the grounders all stopped and an eerie hush fell on the camp. The guard that stood perched at the gate called out that someone was approaching the camp and wasn’t not long before Clarke spotted Kane’s face as it rose above the long grass. 

\------------

“Well it is as we expected.” The nonchalance in Bellamy's tone raised Gustus’ brow. Bellamy’s heart clenched in his chest. “They are muddled by weak emotion for this murderer. Prepare the troops. They have until sundown. Then we attack.” 

\------------

When Clarke entered the Ark, she found Wells telling Finn that they needed to get him out of here. 

“Where would he go?” She asked as she approached. The strain in her voice was obvious. 

Murphy was the one that answered her. “The dropship.”

She was surprised at the suggestion. The Grounder’s Commander was well aware that they were still using that, thanks to Lincoln’s miraculous survival. “No! You know that this is the safest place for him right now.”

Wells' hand settled on her shoulder. “It isn't if they're turning on him. We can protect him at the dropship until we figure this thing out. Grab your gear and meet at Raven's gate in 5. She’s already working on cutting the power to the fence.”

“We are surrounded by Grounders.” She tried one more time to plead with Wells, but he was unwavering in his decision. 

“If we split up, we take the low ground, we'll make it through. We’ll meet at the dropship.” Murphy and Wells must have been discussing this without her because they seemed to have already had this plan in place. 

When someone saw them and started to shout about giving him up, she knew that the boys were right. Murphy’s temper showed itself again as the butt of his gun met the man’s throat, effectively taking him out of the equation. He raised an eyebrow at her, and she nodded. 

They moved quickly through camp after that. Each one of them exited the makeshift gate in 3-minute intervals. Clarke was the last through the gate, with barely enough time before the electricity was once again buzzing. 

Clarke caught up to Finn less than 2 miles from the dropship. His surprise was clear when he asked her about the plan to split up. She knew that he was ready to give himself up less than half a day ago and she wasn’t going to let him go on his own and risk him surrendering. 

“Not a chance.” She said in an attempt at a bright tone. 

“What do we do after the dropship? Where do we go? You think the Grounders will just leave when they find out I'm gone? Is this the best way to help our friends inside Mount Weather?” He sounded frustrated with her and she barely had time to respond when she felt a sudden pain to the side of her head and her vision faded to black. 

\------------

A scout rushed into his tent. He bowed slightly before he all but shouted that the Murder had been seen in the forest. That they were attempting to flee with him. 

Bellamy’s hands perched on the map in front of him. Turning to Indra and Gustus he said, “They’ll go to the dropship. Bring me that boy.”

They nodded before they slipped off to do as he directed.

\------------

When Clarke opened her eyes the first thing she saw was Raven's worried face. She was saying something to someone that sent her head to pounding again. Groaning, she clenched her eyes shut before opening them and trying to sit up. 

Finn’s worried face greeted her as his hand tentatively braced her as she sat up. “How’s your head?”

“Awesome.” She said as she clutched her head.

“When you went down” Finn sucked in a ragged breath and Raven moved off towards the others. “I thought you were dead. Because of me.”

Clarke risked cupping his cheek for a moment bringing his eyes to her as she told him that she was still here. 

“I’ve killed so many people.” He said as he pressed his face harder into her hand. His own coming up to hold her hand there. 

Her face and voice softened. “Finn, the things that we've done to survive. They don't define us.”

His brows furrowed as her eyes traced his face. “What if you're wrong?” He whispered, “What if this is who we are now?”

Finn helped her to her feet at the sound of Wells calling back to them that they had company. That they were surrounded. Murphy piped in saying that they were probably staying out of range until dark. Wells jumped in saying that if they hit them now, they’d at least take them by surprise. Clarke looked around at the grounders passing back and forth around the dropship, reminiscent of how they hovered while Clarke and Jasper desperately tried to wire the dropship to launch. 

“We don't even know how many of them are out there.” She said as she looked at the others. 

“I’m not hearing any better ideas, Clarke.” Murphy said as they pulled back into the dropship. 

Raven turned to the group as she toyed with the gun at her side. “We’ll give them something.”

“All they want is Finn.” Countered Murphy, looking at the twitchy mechanic.

“Finn wasn't the only one at the village.” She said, raising the gun to point at Murphy.

Clarke’s eyes darted back and forth between Raven and Murphy. “What are you talking about?”

“Enough Grounders saw him at the village.” The tears that had been welling in Raven’s eyes started to trail down her face. “They’d believe he was the shooter.”

“Sick bitch.” Murphy growled at Raven.

“Raven, you don't mean this.” Clarke started to tiptoe between Murphy and the gun. “You know what they do to people.”

“They want a murderer; we'll give them one.” Raven swiped at her eyes, the tears coming faster as she tried to slow them down. 

“Raven, drop your gun. Please.” Clarke begged. “He’s one of us.”

Finn jumped in between Clarke and Raven’s gun. “Stop! We're not doing this.” His hand came to rest on Raven’s gun as he tried to get her to lower it. “They’ve got us surrounded. The only thing we can do is stay. And defend this place.” 

Wells and Murphy both said they were with him as Clarke looked over at Raven, who’s still got tears trailing down her face. Finn pointed at Murphy and told him. “Go upstairs. Watch the rear. I'll take the lower level.” Pointing at Clarke, Wells and Raven he said. “You three, take the front gate. That’s the plan. All right?”

Clarke watched Raven and Finn said goodbye before he walked over to her with a brief tilt of his head. Clarke and the other two moved out towards the front. It wasn’t long before they spotted more movement in the woods, except it was closer this time. Raven pointed it out to the other two. Clarke nodded at her. When the figure stepped out into the clearing, Clarke locked eyes with Finn who had his hands raised in surrender. “Finn? No! Finn!” She screamed, tears streaming down her face as she collapsed into Wells' arms. 

\------------

Gustus walked in the tent, silent as could be. If Bellamy hadn’t been watching the entrance, he wouldn’t have known he was there. Bellamy only nodded a greeting before turning back to the map on the table in front of him. 

“Heda, we have the boy.” 

“Good,” He said, not turning back to the large man in his tent. “Prepare the pole where they can see it. I want them to watch what happens when they move against innocents.” 

“Yes, Heda.”

“And Gustus. I want my sister and Lincoln out of their camp safely, if anything goes wrong.” 

He nodded before moving back out of the tent. Bellamy sat back in his chair and scrubbed at his face. He was ready to have this all behind them. He knew that the Sky People would never forgive him. 

\------------

The whole camp was standing around watching as the Grounders set up a pole. The fires burning around it as the sky started to darken. Raven turned to Clarke and asked what they were doing. Clarke felt numb as she told Raven that was it for Finn, that the Grounders wanted them to watch. 

She wanted to tell her that the man with the intense burning eyes was forcing them to witness what it meant to have Grounder justice. That they were going to watch as a man she might love was burned and tortured, but her lips didn’t move, and her eyes didn't turn away from their movement. 

Murphy stepped up just behind Clarke and Raven, his voice murderous. “We’re gonna get him. We’ll get in close and we'll hit them hard.”

Kane’s hand fell on Murphy's shoulder. “Son, there's thousands of them. Even if we could kill hundreds, they'd still wipe out this camp and your friend would still die.”

“We have to try.” Murphy begged.

“Abby.” Raven begged Clarke’s mother. Clarke felt like everything was moving in slow motion as she finally turned away from the Grounders camp. “Abby, we have to do something.”

Abby shook her head at Raven, tears welling in both of their eyes. “No, Raven.”

Clarke took off towards the gate and Murphy quickly followed her. She handed him the med kit she’d been clutching, with a mumbled “take this.”

He grabbed her arm trying to stop her, but she shook him off. “What are you doing?” He asked her. 

When she finally stopped, she met his eyes. “I’m gonna talk to the commander.”

His face softened at the tears in her eyes. The tears that she tried to hide with a quick sniffle. His voice was tentative as he asked, “What else do you have to say?”

“I  _ don't _ know.  _ I _ don't  _ know _ .” She shook her head. She didn't need his pity.

He said her name softly as Raven limped over to them. “Give me your hand.” She said when she reached them. “If he won't let him go, kill him. Things’ll go crazy, and we'll grab you and Finn. Clarke. You have to help him. I owe him my life.”

Raven slipped a makeshift knife into Clarke’s sleeve. Clarke met Raven wet eyes and her lips trembled. Clarke sucked in a ragged breath as she shoved as much steel into her spine as she could. She turned without another word, quickly dried her face before she reached their camp. She knew she couldn't afford to show any weakness.

Clarke made her way up to the stern looking guard that begged the commander to let her kill Clarke last time they were in close quarters. Indra, if Clarke recalled from the commander shouting at her. Indra pressed the tip of her spear to her chest. 

“I’m here to talk to your commander. Let me through.” Clarke would have been proud of herself if she hadn’t felt numb.

“Let her pass.” The commander called to Indra. “You bleed for  _ nothing _ . You cannot stop this.”

“No. Only you can.” She said as she walked up to him. The intensity in his eyes brought the first stab of emotion to her since Finn let himself get captured. “Show my people how powerful you are. Show them you can be merciful.  _ Show them _ you're not a savage.”

“We are what we are.” He said as he stared down at her. 

“Then I'm a killer.” Her blue eyes welled with tears. She took one desperate step towards him. “I burned 300 of your people. I slit a man's throat and watched him die. I’m  _ soaked  _ in Grounder blood. Take me.”

She saw his hand twitch at his side. If she didn’t know better, she would think he was reaching out for her. “But Finn  _ is guilty _ .” 

“No. He did it for me. He did it  _ for me _ .” The tears dripped down her cheeks. 

His face was a picture of disinterest, “Then he dies for you.” 

“Can I say good-bye?” She asked as she wiped her cheeks. 

His eyes softened on her as he nodded. She turned and ran towards Finn whose hands were bound around the pole. Her hand reached up to pull his face down towards her. Her lips brushed his gently, once, twice, three times. Tears flooded down her face, soaking into their kiss. 

“I love you, too.” She said between gasping breaths.

“I’m scared.” Finn said as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder. 

Clarke reached one hand around to lay against the back of his neck. “You’re gonna be ok.” she said as her chest heaved. Her hand that was hidden between them slid the knife that Raven had slipped her earlier into her hand. She pressed the knife into Finn, sliding it up against his ribs until the knife nicked his heart. “You’re ok.” she whispered one last time as her heart broke and her dry voice cracked.

“Thanks, princess.” he said, his voice weak. 

Clarke pulled back from Finn, her chest heaving, and her blue eyes falling to her bloody hands. She stood frozen. She knew that she should be moving away from the camp quickly, but she almost hoped that they would kill her too. Maybe then she would feel something other than hollow. The outraged cry of the Grounders was silenced by the commander as he told them that it was done as he stared her down. 

Raven’s heart wrenching screams were heard across the distance. If Clarke had anything left, she would feel her heart breaking again, but there was a coldness that was seeping into her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?


	12. But I Brag About You When I’m Not Around You, You Don’t Even Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your army is already there, locked in cages.” Her blue eyes start to dance as she slowly pulls the words out of her mind. “We just need someone on the inside to let them out.”
> 
> “Wells? You have faith in him.” His chest tightens as he says the words. 
> 
> When she smiles softly as she says, “I do.”, he begins to understand that the feeling he has is jealous. 
> 
> “I hope your faith is well placed. Because if he can't get inside we can't win.” He says sharply. 
> 
> “He will. Bell, this is gonna work. Come on” She says, reaching out for his hand to pull him forward, back towards camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And boom... dropping another chapter.. next one should be out Sunday!

The commander had whisked Clarke away to his tent when the cries of outrage started in his camp. She knew that he was doing her some small kindness in keeping them from killing her. But she was sitting in his throne desperately trying to wipe off Finn’s blood and wondering if it wouldn’t have been kinder to let them have her. 

Her vision was blurry as she tried to make out who was entering the tent. Her eyes fluttered rapidly as she tried to blink away the tears. Her eyes met her mother when she blinked away enough of the tears, and Kane was not far behind her. Clarke leaned her cheek into her mother’s hand which was pressed to her face as her mother kneeled in front of her. 

“They would've  _ tortured _ him, I  _ had _ to.” Clarke knew how broken she sounded. She could hear it in the cracks and sobs that stilt her words. “I-I had  _ to _ . I  _ had _ to. What did I do?”

The tent flap was hastily thrown and the tall man that shadowed the commander entered the tent saying, “The commander is ready to talk.” and Clarke stood up out of the throne and moved herself and her mother over the side where Kane was standing. She swiped at her face to dry it of tears as she tried to pull back the sobs that were still threatening to escape. She knew there was nothing to be done for her red eyes and tear stained face, so she just stared straight ahead. 

  
  


The tall, freckled man who is a mess of confusion for Clarke, entered the tent followed by Indra. His dark eyes trail over Clarke’s face and she clamped down hard on the loss that still tried to explode out of her. 

“Blood has answered blood. Some on my side say that's not enough; they wanted the murderer to suffer as our tradition demands.” He leaned towards her from within his throne. Compassion that she didn’t deserve radiated towards her. “But they do not know that your suffering will be worse. What you did tonight will haunt you until the end of your days. Still, there will be restitution, the body will be given to TonDC. Murderer and murdered joined by fire. Only then can we have peace.”

When Clarke could offer no words, Kane stepped forward. “No, no, we've done enough. The boy should be buried by his own people-”

“Enough?” Indra shouted, cutting off Kane. “We were  _ owed _ the pain of 18 deaths; we were  _ owed _ the righteous kill! My village _ deserves _ justice.”

Abby who floundered at the words that Indra spat denied that she even wanted justice. Only vengeance. Indra moved toward them with her hand on the hilt of her sword as she told Abby that she had not seen her vengeance. 

“We'll do it.” Clarke cut in before more words could be bandied about by the adults. They didn’t have time for this and if they didn't get their peace, Finn died for nothing. “But when it's over we talk about how to get our people out of Mount Weather. All of our people.”

“We want the same things, Clarke.” The commander said in a soft voice.

“Good,” She nodded at him. “when do we leave?”

“Now. Choose your attendants.” He said as he stood from his throne.

Abby turned to grab Clarke by her shoulders. “Clarke, you don't have to do this.”

“Yes, I do,” Clarke knew her eyes were dull now that the shine of tears had passed. She knew she should feel more but her heart was barely beating in her chest, Finn was dead, and her friends were still not safe. She didn’t have time for more conversation about what did or did not need to be done with the dead. “if this truce doesn't hold, I killed Finn for  _ nothing _ .”

The tall man neared her as they moved to leave the tent. His warm hand settled on her elbow for such a brief moment, she wasn’t even sure it happened at all. “You can call me Bellamy. I understand your sins, Clarke.”

\------------

His hand was still tingling from the brief contact with Clarke as they exited the tent. He couldn’t keep his eyes off her as she moved towards the angry tan girl. The words that they exchanged were heated even as tears still cool the brunette’s cheeks. 

When two of his men attempted to pick up the boy. The angry girl started to panic, and he could hear her asking what they were doing. Clarke’s arm was roughly pushed aside as she tried to calm the other girl. He watched as she winced, pain from both her still healing body and her broken heart were written on her stoic face. 

“She’s strong, Bell.” His sister’s voice drew the majority of his attention away from Clarke, but he could still see her pleading with her friend, from the corner of his eye.

“She might have been, once.” He said. “But her love for this boy may be her undoing.”

Octavia cocked her head to the side as she looked up at him. “She’s still strong. Look at her.”

“I am.” He couldn’t deny that she drew his attention. “Only time will tell how,  _ if  _ she survives this, but her eyes are empty right now and it’s up to her to find a fire within herself in order to live.”

“She will, Bell. I can feel it in my bones.” She set her hand lightly on his shoulder. 

\------------

Clarke kept catching the sight of Finn out of the corner of her eye and it made her jump every time. Her eyes were doing double takes, even as the feel of his eyes lingered on her body. When Wells asked her if she was doing okay, she told him she was, even though nothing could be further from the truth. 

“You did the right thing.” He said as his eye pin a look she couldn’t decipher on the Commander, on Bellamy. 

“Now I get to live with it.” She said, looking at him as he watched the Grounders around them. “You still think this truce is a bad idea, don't you?”

“I think we're wasting our time on politics while our friends are in trouble.” His words surprised her, considering who his father was and how both of them were raised. She wondered if maybe the ground hadn’t changed all of them. 

“We need their army to get to Mount Weather, Wells and you know it.” Her eyes darted to the forest again as she felt Finn watching her, once more.

“Their army has been getting their ass kicked by Mount Weather forever. What we need is an inside man. Someone to be our eyes and ears.”

“Forget it, it's too dangerous.” She shook her head as her hands trembled at the thought of him in the mountain. 

“Clarke if you can make it out, I can make it in.” His voice was pleading with her. Begging her to understand that he didn’t feel like he could wait any longer. A feeling she knew all too well. 

“I said no.” Her trembling hand came up to rest on the arm that loosely held his gun. “I can lose you too. Okay?”

\------------

As Bellamy and Gustus dismounted at the edge of TonDC he could hear the villagers shouting for the gates to be opened. Gustus turned to the Sky People and pointed the basket off to the side. Lincoln, who still held his ribs in pain, told them that they needed to disarm before they entered the camp. Putting his own knife in the bin before they made a move to follow. Gustus disarmed the angry girl, whose name he had learned was Raven, when she refused to do so herself. He could feel Clarke’s eyes watching him as he watched Gustus disarm Raven. 

Gustus gave him the all clear and they moved into the village as the people cried out to him asking him why they brought the murders here. Before one brave individual stepped in their path with a knife drawn, crying out that they took everything from him. He knew Sindri and had always known he had a temper. 

When Sindri didn’t move after Gustus told him to step aside, Bellamy had no choice but to give Gustus the signal to move him by force. 

The burn of Clarke’s hand on his arm shocked him as she begged for the man who was spewing ugly words at her and would have hurt her if he’d be allowed. “Commander, stop him, please. They'll blame us for this too.”

He told Gustus to let him live in trigedasleng before switching to English, so the Sky people understood as well. “The Sky People march with us now anyone who tries to stop that will pay with their life.”

He heard the young man with dark skin mutter “warm welcome.” to Clarke before she moved past him to follow Bellamy further into the camp. 

By sundown the pyre for the dead has been built and Finn’s body was added to it stretched across the bodies of the innocents he slaughtered. Bellamy moved forward and started to speak the words of their people. He could hear Lincoln’s soft voice translating for the Sky People. 

The torch was handed to him and he looked to the despondent blonde who stood beside him. He handed her the torch with a soft call of her name, hoping that this would give her the closure she needed. His eyes widened briefly as he heard her whisper “Yu gonplei ste odon.” as she flashed a look to the empty space at her side before her eyes found the pyre again. 

\------------

The warm presence of Bellamy at her side offered her a silent comfort that he shouldn’t have been able to. His deep voice pulled her from the edge of emptiness in her mind when he said. “I lost someone special to me too. Her name was Gina. She was captured by the Ice Nation whose Queen believed she knew my secrets because she was mine. They tortured her, killed her, cut off her head.” He shook off her apology. “I thought I'd never get over the pain, but I did.”

She turned her face up to him. She knew her face was slightly desperate, but she didn’t know how she would manage if she kept feeling this way. “How?”

“A wise woman once told me to recognize it for what it was.” He tipped his head to stare into her eyes. “Weakness.”

“What is? Love?” Her eyes paced back and forth between his. He nodded at her and she couldn’t help but ask. “What about Octavia?”

He shrugged. “She is my weakness.” His voice was low and quiet as if sharing a secret with her. 

“I could never do that.” She finally pulled her stare away from him. 

It took him a moment to move his eyes from her face before he said. “Then you put the people you care about in danger and the pain will never go away. The dead are gone, Clarke, the living are hungry.”

It wasn’t long before the two of them were ushered down a set of stairs to a dining hall. The smell of delicious food barely masked the mustiness of the forest that had attempted to reclaim the room. 

Kane pulled a bottle of moonshine from his pack and offered it to Bellamy. “Please accept this gift, Commander. We drink this on special occasions. I believe this qualifies.”

Gustus took it from Kane’s grasp as Bellamy nodded to him and thanked him for his gift.

“You're welcome, Belomi” He paused as his mouth worked around the words in the Grounder’s language. “Kom Trikru. Just uh don't drink too much of it, it's strong.”

Bellamy nodded before he turned his gaze onto her. “Clarke, let us drink together.”

“It would be my pleasure.” She said as she watched Bellamy unstopper the flask and pour it into the goblets that Gustus had brought out. He handed one to Clarke and she was glad to see at least the shaking of her hand had stopped. 

Gustus took a sip from the goblet before handing it back to Bellamy who said, “Today we celebrate our peace, tomorrow we plan our war. To those we've lost, to those we shall soon find.” 

Right as Clarke and Bellamy were about to sip from their drinks Gustus collapsed at Bellamy’s feet and began to convulse. Clarke looked up from the shaking man to meet Bellamy’s angry eyes. “This wasn't us! You have to know this wasn't us!” She begs him. 

He turned to Indra and said something in their language, and suddenly Gustus was being tended too and was slowly opening his eyes. One of the other guards was helping him to stand. Once he got to his feet the rest of the room began to move and the guards began to pull her away from the others as they searched everyone for the poison. 

She begged Bellamy again to listen. “No, we didn't do this.”

His stony face met hers as black swallowed up the warm brown in his eyes. “Gustus warned me about you but I didn't believe him. Tell me something Clarke, when you plunged the knife into the heart of the boy you loved did you not wish that it was mine?”

Gustus called out to Bellamy as he pulled something from Raven’s coat. She tried to rip her arm away from Gustus as she yelled that it wasn’t her and that he had put it there when he searched her. 

“No Sky Person leaves this room!” Cried Bellamy as he stormed up the stairs. 

Once everyone had settled in to wait Clarke picked her way over to Raven and as softly as possible asked Raven for the truth. 

The gravel in Raven’s voice, grated over Clarke’s ears. “I'd step back if I were you.”

“You wanted me to kill Bellamy yesterday” She pressed on anyway, the sight of Finn on her periphery egging her on. “if you tried to poison him, I need to know.

She didn’t expect the punch to the face, but she accepted it, just the same. After all it was less than she deserved. The same as she accepted the words that spilt from Raven’s mouth. “You're the only murderer here!”

Clarke moved off to the chair at the back of the room grabbing her head. “He gave me no choice, why did he turn himself in?” The tears she had suppressed since the day before came flooding back up and over the brim of her eyes.

She could tell it was her mother who approached her when she felt the tiny hands brushing her hair back from her damp face. “Listen to me Clarke, I know how you feel. The pain will never go away but Bellamy's wrong you won't be haunted by this forever. The pain will fade. What got me through was loving you.”

Clarke pushed the chair that she was in slightly away from her mother as she moved her head out of Abby’s reach. “What is it?” Her mom asked in confusion. 

“You're talking about dad?” She finally felt something other than numbing despair, the anger blazed hot and heavy in her chest. “What I did to Finn was nothing like what you did to him!”

Through tears Abby begged Clarke not to do this now but she pressed on anyway, her voice rose higher and the rest of the room turned to look at them. The fire in her chest would not be appeased before it destroyed something and right now the only thing she could destroy was the fragile relationship with her mother. “I was protecting everyone. I didn't have a choice, you did!”

Abby’s voice was no more than a whisper when she said, “no!”

“You turned him in!” She shouted at her mother. 

“I trusted Thelonious to talk to your father and convince him not to go public!” The tears fell more freely from her mother’s eyes. 

Clarke knew she was hurting her mother, but she couldn’t seem to stop the next words from falling from her lips. “You knew dad would never stop! You knew what would happen to him!”

“I was protecting everyone too! I was protecting you!” Abby cried, holding her face in her hands as Clarke stood to walk away. “Clarke, please!”

The last of the pleading tone from her mother doused the fire and left her feeling empty again. “We are the same.” she said before moving further away from the group. 

It wasn’t long before Kane approached her and dropped a hand to her shoulder. “Tearing each other and yourself apart isn't a way to get through this.” He looked over at Abby who still had tears running down her face before he took the seat next to Clarke. “Bellamy needs this alliance just as much as we do. He's shown himself to be flexible, he listens to you.”

Clarke shook her head. “He thinks we tried to kill him.”

“We know we didn't. So, let's figure out who did. Who would want him dead?”

“Too many to count. Forming the alliance was a risk.” Lincoln’s voice carried as he entered the dining hall. “Especially with what Finn did at this village.”

“So, it had to be someone trying to break the alliance.” Wells added in. Clarke could see the thoughtful expression on his face and knew his mind was working a million miles ahead of where they were. 

Behind Lincoln, descended Indra and a few guards. She told the guards something and suddenly they were grabbing for Raven and hauling her out amidst the shouts and pleas of the rest of the group that she didn’t do it. 

“I argued for all of you to die,” Indra turned on Abby, “but the Commander is merciful. He wants only one. The rest of you are free, when she is dead so is the alliance. You should run.”

Clarke couldn’t bring herself to move. She could hear the call of the crowd to harm her friend. She knew the rest of her people had followed Raven up the stairs. Her mind’s eye was doing a good enough job showing her what was happening above her. Her mother’s voice called out to her, but she still couldn’t get her body to move. 

A flicker of Finn caught her eye again before she saw the goblet that was on the ground, a puddle of moonshine still around it. “It wasn't in the bottle.” she murmured to herself before she stood up and ran out to the grounders that were blocking the rest of their people from Raven. 

She pressed forward and Wells grabbed her arm as she passed him. “Clarke, stop! What are you doing? You'll get yourself killed.”

“I need that bottle,” She turned to Lincoln who was standing near the rest of her people. “Now!” 

“Stop, Bellamy!” His dark eyes were curious as they met hers, he told the guards to let Clarke pass. “One of your people tried to kill you, Bellamy. Not one of mine.”

Indra’s angry voice reached her ears, but she ignored it as she took the bottle from Lincoln’s outstretched hand as she said she could prove it. When Bellamy tilted his head to for her to continue, she brought the bottle to her lips and took a long swing of the moonshine. All eyes were tense on her as they all waited for something to happen. 

When nothing happened, Bellamy raised his eyebrow as he demanded she explain. 

“The poison wasn't in the bottle; it was in the cup.” She said as she took another drink. Her chest heaving under the stress of it all. She could feel his eyes heavy on her.

\------------

He didn’t look away from her as Gustus told him they were playing a trick. His eyes raking over her petite form, lingering slightly on her heaving chest. Her eyes were a little wild, and her hair was in disarray as if she had been tugging at it. He felt drawn to her in a way he knew he shouldn’t be.

The tall dark-skinned boy turned away from watching Clarke, just as he had been, and pointed at Gustus. “It was you. He tested the cup, he searched Raven.”

“Gustus would never harm me.” Bellamy couldn’t help but deny it. He had been faithful to him since he began as the commander, taking up the mantle that Lexa had placed down. Through all the negotiations that it had taken to get to this point. 

“You weren't the target,” The boy said, stepping up beside Clarke. “the alliance was.”

“We didn't do this, and you know it.” Clarke’s eyes were pleading with him. The blue in her eyes was crystalline as the sun that was struggling to set glares off them. 

He finally pulled his gaze away from the blonde and turned to Gustus. “You've been accused, Gustus. Speak true.”

“This alliance would cost you your life Heda. I could not let that happen.” Gustus bowed his head, looking ashamed, though he’s not sure if it was because he did it or because he got caught. 

“This treachery will cost you yours,” Bellamy growled. “Put him on the tree!”

His other guards rushed to pull Raven from the tree as Clarke and the boy that Raven called Wells darted forward to catch her. Her body sagged in pain that mirrored how Clarke’s must have felt after all the injuries she had when he met her, the ones that still linger in the shadows of her face. 

Gustus was tied to the tree that had housed Raven, previously. His head held high and his lips clenched tightly together, as each person in the village drew a sharp knife across his skin. Some deeper than others. He could hear Raven behind him as she clung to the boy next to her asking if this was to be the fate of the boy Clarke killed. Both he and Clarke shared a look at her words; he knew that she knew his fate would have been worse at the green color of her face. 

Once every villager had had their turn and the day had turned fully to night, Bellamy stepped forward as he unsheathed his sword.

“Stay strong.” Gustus said, and Bellamy swallowed as he nodded. 

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” He said as he pressed his sword into Gustus’ chest, between his ribs and into his heart before twisting his sword and pulling it back. Bellamy clenched his jaw as he strained to keep his face impassive. 

\------------

Lincoln approached her group as Clarke watched the others talking softly across the fire. “How did you know it was Gustus?” He asked Wells.

“He'd do anything for him to protect him.” He shruged as if it was always the most obvious answer. “So, it made sense.”

When no further comment was made, they all settled into not quite comfortable silence. Clarke’s eyes stayed glued on the fire in front of her, zoning out as her mind spit image after image of Finn’s death.

Raven’s voice startled all of them as she limped up to them. Her voice was enthusiastic. “Guys! Listen to this!”

The radio in her hand spit out Jasper’s voice. “47 of us are trapped inside Mount Weather.”

She gripped Raven’s arm as she said. “Talk to him, say something.”

“It's repeating.” Raven shook her arm free of Clarke’s. Her face was uncomfortable, but not angry any longer. 

The radio crackled again. “We don't know how much time we have left, please hurry.”

Wells' voice cut over the radio loop. “We need to do this now. We've got the alliance now is the time to use it.”

Clarke closed her eyes before she looked at Wells again. “We need an inside man. You were right without someone on the inside to lower their defenses, turn off the acid fog, an army is  useless. ” Her hands started to tremble at her sides. “You should go.”

“I thought you hated that plan.” He cocked his eyebrow. “That I would get myself killed.”

“I was being weak, it's worth the risk.” She nodded as if confirming that for herself as she dug through her bag to pull out the map. Handing it over with shaky hands. “My map of Mount Weather. Find a way to get on that radio and talk to us. Good luck.”

As Lincoln volunteered to take Wells through the tunnels, Octavia walked up to the group. Her face became furious as she listened to Lincoln’s offer. “You can't go back there, not yet.”

Raven pulled Wells away on the pretext of showing him what he needed to find when he got in the mountain and Clarke pulled away to look at the where the pyre had been the night before, giving the couple some privacy. “Love is weakness.” She mumbled to herself before turning away only to bump into her mother. 

“Clarke this is for you.” She held out a canister that Clarke eyed but didn't take. “Finn's ashes from the pyre. I thought you could scatter them somewhere, might help you say goodbye.”

“I've already said goodbye.” her voice, devoid of anything. She didn’t look at her mother again as she moved to enter Bellamy’s bunker. She could feel the eyes of her people on her back. She didn’t acknowledge them other than to set her shoulders and raise her chin as she passed through the door. 

\------------

Bellamy watched the blonde as she paced the bunker for a moment, her guard standing behind her at the wall. Her limp seemed to be less pronounced. He knew that the other war generals were tracking his eye movements as they tracked the blonde. He hoped they thought it was because he didn’t trust her and not because he couldn’t seem to stop staring. Her anxiety was bringing his heart rate up and he just wanted to put his hands on her to calm her down. 

Quint who had always been brash, slammed his hand on the table. “This argument is useless. If they can't breathe our air, then why not open the door and let them burn?”

The others at the table agreed with him but Clarke’s clear voice cut across them as she stopped at the table. “No! Because they have a containment system, multiple airlocks just like we had on the Ark. Our inside man can shut that down.”

“If he gets inside.” Quint sneered at her. 

“What if we shut it down from the outside.” He offered as a way to steer the conversation back to civil ground. “You say the dam gives them power, take that away.”

She shook her head, but her voice was softer with him than the others. “That dam withstood a nuclear war, commander. I highly-”

“All she offers is no.” Quint cut her off in a rawr of words. 

“Quint.” Bellamy’s eyes cut to him and he bowed his head toward him.

“Apologies, commander. But the biggest army we've had waits for us to give it a mission, the longer that takes the more of our people die inside that mountain.” He sounded passive but Bellamy noted the scrunching of his brow as he looked at the sky princess. 

“It's the same for all of us.” She argued back. 

“We've lost thousands, how many have you lost, girl?” He sneered at Clarke again before turning to meet Bellamy’s eyes that had once again strayed to Clarke’s face. “She says she has a plan; I say waiting for one man to get inside is not a very good one.”

“I agree with Quint, we have an army, let's use it.” Indra said. 

“We will, after Wells lowers their defenses, turns off the acid fog.” Her hands come down on the table in frustration. “I don't care how many men you have! If you can't get to your enemy, you can't win.”

Quint rounded on Clarke. “You are the enemy.”

“I'm sorry, have I done something to offend you?” Her blue eyes blazed with cold fire. 

“Yes,” Quint said as he stalked towards her. “You burned my brother alive in a ring of fire.”

And just for a moment Bellamy saw the spark of life in her again as she leaned in close to Quint and said, “He shouldn't've attacked my ship.

Quint’s voice was quiet, but Bellamy could still hear the threat in it. “You're very brave under the commander's protection.”

“Enough.” Bellamy said. “Quint's right. Waiting for Wells isn't a plan, it's a prayer. One that's not likely to be answered.”

“Excuse me,” Clarke said as she started to flee, her guard not far behind her. “I need some air.”

“Everyone take a break,” Bellamy called to the rest of the room. His gut, telling him he needed to follow Clarke. “We will meet again after supper.”

\------------

Clarke started running when she hit the forest and only stopped when she could no longer breath. Major Byrne was long behind her and even though she knew she should have waited she couldn’t stop. 

The flash of silver caught her eyes just before Quint’s voice called out. “Not so brave now are you, Sky Girl?”

He pulled back on the bow and she moved just in time for the arrow he volleyed at her to hit the tree instead of her. She took off running without paying attention to what direction she was going. She could only hope that it was back toward the village. The crunch of feet on the forest litter caught her attention as she skidded to a halt and yanked the gun from the small of her back. 

When she saw the familiar blonde hair, she breathed out in relief. “Byrne, thank god! Quint-”

Her relief was short-lived when Major Byrne turned to her and Clarke saw that her arm was missing and the whole side of her body was coated in blood. She only had time to tell Clarke to save herself before the thud of her body hitting the floor met Clarke’s ears. 

With a yelp Clarke took off again in the opposite direction Major Byrne had been stumbling from. The sudden jolt of fear rushed through her as Quint tackled Clarke to the ground. His knees were pressed hard on Clarke’s hands as he straddled her body keeping her trapped underneath him. 

“For my brother!” He shouted as he pulled the sword in his hand above his head, preparing to sink it into her chest. Suddenly there was a knife sticking out from his hand and he dropped the sword. Then he was being violently pulled off her. 

“Attack her and you attack me.” The deep voice of Bellamy rumbled and her body relaxed without her permission.

His hand reached down to help her up. As her feet found the forest floor below her, she thanked him. His voice was concerned when he asked where her guard was. 

“He killed her.” she said as she pointed behind her. 

“She lies.” Quint shouted from where he was restrained by Bellamy’s guard. “My fight is only with her.”

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Bellamy said before he turned soft eyes towards her. “The kill is yours, Clarke.”

Clarke lifted her gun to point at Quint, trying to force herself to pull the trigger. A sharp crack grabbed her attention before a deep growl reverberated around her. “What is that?”

The fear in Bellamy’s eyes shocked her when she heard him whisper. “Pauna.” He turned so quickly she almost missed the action but when he stabbed Quint in the leg, she heard the hissing through his teeth before Bellamy grabbed her hand and yelled at her to run. 

Clarke could feel the hand that dragged her getting sweatier with every mile they ran. She knew she wasn't going to be able to keep the pace up much longer. Her leg ached and there was a stitch in her side. “We need to hide!” She yelled at Bellamy just before the sight of a tunnel caught her eye and she pulled him towards it. “This way, I found something.”

Bellamy crawled in ahead of her with his guard following closely behind. When they hit the end of the tunnel what they saw shocked her. “What is this place?” she asked, looking around at the dead bodies of humans and animals alike, the smell of rotten flesh assaulted her nose. 

“It's her feeding ground.” He said, pulling his hand away from hers. 

She rubbed her hand absently against her leg. Now that he had let her go, she felt the anxiety spiking in her chest. “Let's go.”

They started to climb up the square rocks that jutted out on top of each other when the Pauna stood tall at the other side of the crevasse they found themselves in. They all paused when suddenly Pauna stood up and roared at them. Bellamy and his guard pulled their swords out and the gun that she hadn’t put away while they ran shook at her side. 

Pauna leapt towards them and landed on his guard, biting into him and tearing him in two before throwing part of him aside. Her head rose with fresh blood trailing through the fur around her muzzle. She started to climb toward them and the sound of two shots ringing through the air startled her. Only when her gaze flicked down to her hand did she realize that she’d been the one to shoot. 

Pauna kept moving towards them despite the two rounds she had fired into her chest. When she leapt again Clarke emptied the rest of her clip into the gorilla, who staggered backwards before falling. They took that opportunity to scramble further up the hill. As they crested the hill, Clarke heard Pauna grunting as she started to rise to her feet. 

She grabbed Bellamy’s hand pulling him to the edge before she stopped. She looked at him before leaping off and onto the hard ground below. He followed suit just in time to avoid the swipe of Puana’s giant paw. He rolled on his ankle as he hit the ground and told her to leave him there. 

“No way!” She shouted at him as she pulled his arm over her shoulder and dragged him forward, closing the metal doors behind them. She took his sword and shoved it across the doors to lock them in. 

\------------

When they finally sat down Clarke pulled his leg toward her and started to run her hands over his ankle, sending chills up his spine and a hiss through his teeth. His eyes roamed over her face as he said, “You should've left me behind, now two will die here instead of one.” 

“I'm still new to your culture but when someone saves someone's life, my people say thank you.” She said as she leaned back against the wall behind her after she set his ankle down. “Your ankle is only sprained, not broken.”

“I'm serious Clarke,” He could feel the frustration with her rising in his chest. Now she would die because she tried to save him, and he hated her for it. “To lead well you must make hard choices.”

“Hard choices?” Her voice was incredulous as she turned hard eyes on him. “You're telling me that.”

“I've seen your strength, it's true but now you waver.” He tried to gentle the bite in his tone, but he couldn’t seem to let it go anywhere. “You couldn't kill Quint; you couldn't leave me to die. That was weakness.”

“I thought love was weakness.” She sneered at him. 

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.” He sighed and dropped his head against the wall behind him.

“You wanna know why I saved you? Because I need you. God forbid one of your generals becomes commander. You may be heartless, Bell, but at least you're smart.”

His heart clenched when she used the nickname only his family has ever used for him. He lifted his head to look at her. “Don't worry, my spirit will choose much more wisely than that.” 

“Your spirit?” Clarke’s face was confused when she looked at him. 

“When I die, my spirit will find the next commander.” He shrugged at her. 

The door began to rattle, effectively cutting off any further conversation. “It found us.”

Bellamy stood up, resigning himself to his fate. “Don't be afraid Clarke, death is not the end.”

“We are not dying here!” She said, and he watched her blue eyes dart around the room. “I need your spirit to stay where it is!”

He pulled out the second sword he had strapped to his side as he dropped down into a fighting stance, mindful of his ankle. “Get ready to fight, it's coming in.”

“Maybe we let it in. Come here!” Bellamy was surprised when he was yanked toward her as she stood next to the door. Her hand reached out and grabbed his sword that was holding the door closed. “Now!” 

The door swung open and they were running out behind Pauna as she launched herself inside. The doors swung close from the momentum and they dropped the metal bar that was there across it and took off running as fast as his ankle would allow. 

When they finally stopped running, they had put some distance between them and the gorilla. “How's your ankle?” She asked as he watched her chest heave as she gulped down air. 

“Hurts.” He grunted at her. A heavy feeling settled on his chest and he noted that it’s not from the running. 

She turned her blue eyes back toward the way they came. “We should go, that cage won't hold forever.”

“Wait,” He grabbed her hand to stop her from moving off, capturing her blue eyes with his intense stare. “I was wrong about you, Clarke. Your heart shows no sign of weakness.”

“The cage won't hold.” She said as she pulled back from him. “I think I know how to take Mount Weather. We've been trying to get inside, but they've already let us in.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Your army is already there, locked in cages.” Her blue eyes started to dance as she slowly pulled the words out of her mind. “We just need someone on the inside to let them out.”

“Wells? You have faith in him.” His chest tightens as he says the words. 

When she smiles softly as she says, “I do.”, he begins to understand that the feeling he has is jealousy. 

“I hope your faith is well placed. Because if he can't get inside, we can't win.” He says sharply. 

“He will. Bell, this is gonna work. Come on” She says, reaching out for his hand to pull him forward, back towards camp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think?


	13. And I Keep Falling For You Every Night, Over and Over again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke called after her mom again as Abby turned to walk away. When her mom didn’t look back, Clarke fell to her knees and cried. The guilt trying to consume her. A large hand came down to rest on her hand and her blue eyes turned up to mean the sad, dark eyes of the Commander. 
> 
> “I could've warned them.” She whispered, pleading with him. “I could've saved them.”
> 
> “Come on.” He helped her to her feet, pulling further into the woods. “If they see us they'll strike again. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.”
> 
> “I want the Mountain Men dead, all of them.” She said as she followed him blankly, her body feeling hollowed out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well my insomnia worked in your favor here’s the next chapter a full 2 days before promised... if I can get some more writing done this weekend you might get another before the end of the weekend.

When they reached the camp, Bellamy pulled her into his bunker. He called to Indra to gather the rest of his generals. Indra moved quickly out of the room so it was just Bellamy and Clarke for the moment. He turned to her and only then did he realize her hand was still in his, so he dropped it. 

He stepped away from her just as the generals entered the room, clearing his throat uncomfortably as he dragged his eyes away from her blue depths. “We are going to give Wells some more time to enter the mountain.” He held up a hand to stall the arguments he saw about to fall from their lips. His tone turned excited. “We have an army in that mountain already. If Wells can breach the mountain and free them, we can take the mountain without them being any the wiser until it's too late.” 

A smirk pulled the corners of his lips up as he watched as his generals started to weigh and accept the plan. Their excitement grew to match his. He turned to look at Clarke who was staring at him with soft eyes. He felt his smirk turn into a genuine smile without his permission, which kept happening around her.

“Okay, we are going to send the Sky people back to their camp, I want a group of our warriors to go with Clarke. Once Wells has contacted us, or three days passed we will meet here to discuss next steps. Indra, please get a small team together who will be willing to take orders from her. I want you to escort her then return.”

They all nodded as they headed back out of the bunker, and he could hear them volleying ideas back and forth about where they thought they should focus once their people inside are out of cages. His eyes turned back to Clarke who whispered a thank you to him as she tucked her hair behind her ear. His hand twitched at his side, wanting to mimic her actions. 

“You’re welcome, Clarke.” He stepped back from her and turned toward the map on his table. “You should prepare to leave with the rest of your people. The others who left the day before should already be back at your camp. We need to move quickly.”

He could see her nod out of the corner of his eye before she turned to walk away.

\------------

It took only thirty minutes before Indra and her team were ready to move out. A horse was presented to her, it was a beautiful grey creature that had a noble air to it. The others were given horses as well. One of the grounders helped her up into the saddle before they took off out of camp at a swift walk. 

They’d been traveling roughly two hours when her mother suddenly pulled her horse up to a stop and dismounted. She pulled off her water skein to drink some water. Clarke called out to her mother. “Mom, why are we stopping?”

Her mother sighed as Clarke dismounted as well walking towards her. “You need to drink, too.”

“I'm fine. We're almost home.” Clarke waved her away, she turned back to the grounders who’d pulled bows out and nocked arrows as they stopped. “Our scouts patrol these woods. Be careful where you shoot.”

“The Grounders listen to you.” Her mother said as they nodded to her. 

“Bellamy told them too.” She shrugged. “We shouldn't have stopped. Mount up!”

Abby’s exasperated voice called out her name, but Clarke cut her off before she could say anymore. “Mom, I need to get back to that radio to see if Wells has made contact.”

“Listen to me.” Abby grabbed her shoulders before she could move any further. “I know you don't think you need my protection anymore, but you do. You have to trust that I know what's right for us.”

Clarke pulled away from her with an empty look on her face as she shook her head. “Let's move out!” Right as Clarke put her foot in the stirrup to bounce herself back into the saddle like she’d seen the Grounders do, a shot rang out and one of her guards fell from the back of his horse. 

“Mountain men.” Clarke yelled as she kicked her horse into a quick gallop toward where the shot rang out with. Her mother’s voice yelled to the guards to go with her. 

When Clarke arrived to where the shot had come from Indra had her second, a moment away from killing the man in hazmat suit as he pleaded for his life. The other mountain man, dead beside them. “Finish it!” She heard Indra say. 

“No!” She cried out. “He's from Mount Weather. We need to keep him alive. Check to see if he's got a patch kit. We've got to get him back to camp.” 

She moved forward to search his pack not finding anything before moving on to the other man’s pack. A couple pictures fell out, but she ignored them for a moment as her hands latched onto the patch kit. She quickly helped Indra’s second to patch the hole as the man screamed about the burning.

Her head turned back to Indra who had picked up the pictures she had hastily discarded. “What is that?”

“Clarke, you and Bellamy were the targets.” Indra said before turning to the warriors around her. “We have to warn the commander.”

Clarke nodded at her. “Yes, warn him. You need to get back to him.”

“No, the commander said I was to escort you, so I will.” Indra shook her head. “Get this man back to the horses and let’s move. The quicker we get these people back to their camp the quicker I can return to the commander’s side. 

Within the hour they finally reached Camp Jaha, the grounders quickly pulled the injured men off the horses and handed them off to the Arkers who had gathered around. She handed the reins of her horse off to one of the grounders who stood next to her as she watched her mother hurry off behind the injured men. 

When she finally got into the med bay, she heard her mother telling Jackson that she would take the gunshot wound and for him to take the mountain man’s radiation burns. He nodded, telling the people carrying him to set him down. 

As the people backed away from Jackson and his patient she moved in closer. “This guy is from Mount Weather. We need to keep him alive.”

Jackson’s face was startled as he looked down at the damage on the man in front of him. “There was a tear in his suit, but we fixed it in the field.” She said to him as he nodded. Raven’s presence pulled Clarke’s focus for a moment as she spared a look at her. “Anything from Wells?”

“No.” Raven’s tone was clear that while she understood, she still didn’t forgive Clarke. 

Clarke rounded on her, something desperate clawed at her chest. “Then why aren't you at the radio?”

“Sinclair just took my place.” Raven said. “How about you back off?”

“No.” Clarke said, Raven’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline, before Clarke turned back towards Jackson as he was about to cut off the hazmat suit. “Leave it on. It's the only thing keeping him alive.”

Jackson’s face looked lost. “Well, how can we treat a guy if we can't touch him?”

“I can rig up some scrubbers in the airlock. Give me twenty minutes.” Raven said, already moving off toward engineering. Clarke watched Raven exit the tent as she heard her mother’s voice saying the grounder who had been sent to protect Clark was dead on the table. 

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Indra said, closing his eyes, before she rounded on Clarke. “A killer lives while a warrior dies? This is your way?”

“I'm sorry, Indra, but he can help us beat Mount Weather.” Clarke’s eyes closed before she turned away from the dead man. Another person was dead because of her.

Indra grabbed her shoulder. “Then let me make him talk."

“No.” Clarke shook her head. “We're not torturing him.”

Abby’s voice piped up and Clarke groaned under her breath. “Clarke's right. He might just talk because we saved his life.”

“You people are so weak.” Indra whisked out of the tent without another look back. 

“Are you okay?” Abby asked and Clarke could tell her mother’s eyes were tracing her face without having to look.

“He's gonna need a transfusion with our blood.” Clarke said, her tone dulled by the second. Jackson agreed to type him as soon as he could treat him. 

Abby’s arm gripped Clarke’s as she pulled her around to look at her. “Someone tried to kill you today. It's okay if you're upset.”

“Just another day on the ground.” Clarke said with a blank stare at her mother. She pulled her arm out of her mother’s grasp and turned towards the door, her voice intended for Jackson said, “I'll be in engineering waiting for Wells to radio. Let me know when he wakes up.”

Clarke headed to engineering to check in with Sinclair taking the mountain man’s pack with her. She’s barely had time to start to rifle through his stuff and chat briefly with Sinclair about other options they might have if Wells failed; if she sent him in there to die, before Raven came in telling her that the scrubbers were working and her mother and Jackson had treated the mountain man and he was waking as she left. 

When Clarke entered the hall outside the airlock, she could hear Kane asking the man for information and his response was a preplanned one, with his name and job. 

“He's not gonna talk.” Clarke said to Kane as his voice hardened with frustration. 

“He will if we open the door.” Kane said. Her mother’s response to that was cutting and he turned on her. “We need to know what he knows; vulnerabilities, troop numbers.”

“She's right.” Clarke said as she eyed Carl Emerson, Mount Weather security detail. “Torture doesn't work.”

Her mother and Kane began to argue about things she didn’t have time to worry about. She was really the one in charge and she knew it. She hated it. As she turned to leave she heard her mother’s voice all but shouting at the guards. “I want this man under twenty-four-hour guard. Is that clear?”

\------------

Bellamy was sitting in his bunker in TonDC reviewing the terrain with his generals who had remained in camp, when one of the people he’d sent off with Clarke returned sooner than he would have expected. They were allowed to enter the room and after a quick bow in his direction they quickly spun a tail of what happened. 

His heart clenched when he learned that Clarke and himself were a target. He dismissed the man and turned to his generals. “They know we have made an alliance. I want everyone to clear out of TonDC quietly. I don’t want our people to gather in large groups. I want the innocents to be moved to safer locations.”

“But Heda, how are we to plan a war if we are not centralized.” Someone asked.

“You’re right.” He sighed. “Okay then, I still want the non-warriors moved away from this camp and any camp that we have a large group of warriors at. If they have the same technology as the Sky People, I want our noncombatants to have a chance to escape.”

They nodded as they moved quickly out of the bunker to distribute his orders. 

\------------

Clarke had her head in her hands as she sat waiting for Raven to look at the tone generator she’d found in Emerson’s pack. Jasper’s voice was still looping on the radio behind them “This is Jasper Jordan. We need help. Forty-seven of us are trapped inside Mount Weather.”

“Yeah. I can totally replicate this frequency." Raven said as she clicked on the tone generator again. 

“Good.” She said, pulling her hands off her head and looking up at the mechanic. “If we can neutralize the Reapers, the tunnels are an option. Get on it.”

“You don't need to give me orders, Clarke. I got this.” Raven bit out. 

Suddenly a dark head of warrior braids popped into engineering. “Raven, any word from Wells?” Raven shook her head no and Octavia’s face pinched in worry. “Lincoln is still missing, too. He should be back by now.”

“They'll be okay.” Clarke said, her tone not sounding very confident. 

“They better be.” Raven said, her angry eyes glaring at Clarke. “Your whole plan rests on Wells getting in.”

“He will.” Clarke nodded, her shoulders drooping. Raven's face softened and she looked like she’s about to say something when suddenly Clarke and Kane were being paged to the airlock. “We'll finish this later. Have you seen Murphy in the last little while?” 

“Last I saw he was headed somewhere with Jaha. Why?”

“No reason, if you see him can you tell him I need to talk to him?” She said before turning to exit, not waiting for a response. 

Kane, who was slightly ahead of her as they walked up the corridor, asked if Emerson said anything as soon as he saw Abby.

“No,” Shook her head but held up a tablet for them to look at. “but his blood did. Jackson found genetic marker anomalies that can only come from someone who was born on the Ark.”

“It's started.” Her voice was stunned and all she wanted to do was sit down and grieve for the loss of everything; Finn, for her friend’s safety, the other deaths that sit on her young shoulders. Abby and Kane passed words back and forth a couple more minutes before Clarke could refocus herself and say. “They're bleeding my friends.”

Kane turned gentle eyes on her. “We don't know that.”

“Yes, we do. We were genetically engineered.” She said, her anger licking up her spine at his naive way of looking at this. “They weren't.”

Kane grabbed her as she started to stalk toward the door that was keeping Emerson alive, asking her what she was thinking of doing. “Killing him. Get out of my way, Kane.” 

She tried to rip her arm out from his grip, but he was too strong. His other hand coming up to grip the other shoulder. “Calm down”

“Clarke,” Abby’s voice was angry as she said, “You are not in charge here. We do things my way.”

A humorless chuckle left her as she finally managed to pull away from Kane and stalked away from the two adults who had no idea what game they were playing. 

“We're too late.” She said as she entered engineering. She leaned against the only empty wall by the radio and slid down to the ground. Her knees came up in front of her as her arms wrapped around her legs and her head bent to rest on them. “They're already bleeding them. It's over.”

“No!” Raven’s voice wavered as she knelt in front of Clarke; with anger or tears, she wasn’t sure because her head didn't rise, but her shoulders started to shake as silent tears fell from her eyes. “You don't get to give up, Clarke. You killed Finn, and I didn't give up. I'm building a damn tone generator. You do your job!”

“What is my job?” She cried as she lifted her head, her face tear stained. 

Raven shook her own tear tracked head, “I don't know, to come up with something.”

“I have tried bu-” Her voice was cut off by a crackle on the radio. 

“Camp Jaha, this is Mount Weather. Can anyone read me?” It’s Wells' voice. Raven’s jaw dropped open as Wells repeated himself. It took her until the end of his sentence for Clarke to jump to her feet and rush to the radio. 

“Wells?” Clarke knew he could probably hear the tears in her voice. She shook her head even though he couldn’t see it when he called her name with a question buried deep in his tone. “Are you all right?”

“I'm fine. That's it for the good news.” He started, knowing this isn’t the time to unpack anything. “We have to talk fast. Something has changed. Jasper, Monty, everyone, they just locked them in the dorm.”

“But they're alive, all of them?” She wiped at her face. 

“I think so, for now.” She slumped into the chair with relief. “Maya says that they're already using their blood, and things are gonna get ugly in here real fast.”

“Maya is with you?” Clarke wished she could hug the girl who she’d been so derisive to while in mount weather. 

“She helped me escape. If not for her, I'd be dead.” Clarke could hear the fear in his tone as he talked. “And, Clarke, there are kids in here. We need a plan that doesn't kill everyone. Please tell me we have one.”

She closed her eyes, she knew that,  _ of course _ she knew but somehow that never figured into her plans. “I hear you, but we can't do anything until you disable the acid fog. Raven is gonna help you.”

He told her he understood. “You have to figure out a way to free the Grounder prisoners. There is a whole army inside that mountain, and they don't even realize it.” 

He paused at her words for a moment before he said. “Trojan horse. Good plan.” there was a smile in his voice for a moment before he turned serious again. “Clarke, if I'm gonna pull this off, I need you to buy me some time. It won't be long before they realize I don't belong here, and if that happens--”

“That can't happen.” She cut him off. “I'll come up with something.”

He told her to come up with something quick and her brain started to whirl. She called out to him as soon she could tell he was about to draw away from the radio. When he responded she told him, “You came through. I knew you would.”

He laughed quietly as he said, “All I've done so far is not get killed.”

A small smile peeked at her face. “Keep doing that.” She handed the radio to Raven. “You're up."

Raven’s voice startled her as she walked away. “What are you gonna do?”

“I'm gonna keep them looking outside instead of in.” She said as she kept heading for the door. 

\------------

“Where are we at with moving the people out of TonDC?” Bellamy asked Roma who stood in the spot Gustus used to. Her presence was hardly a comfort to him like the giant of a man used to be. 

“They are moving still; most will be out by the end of three days’ time.” She met his eye. 

“Roma, we need them to move faster.” He could feel the anxiety in his chest. The other commanders had not been able to loosen the grip on it earlier either. “This war approaches swiftly, and I don’t want them in the cross hairs.” 

“Yes Heda.” She nodded before exiting the room to hurry them about. 

\------------

When Clarke was stopped by the Ark guards the grounders behind her started to pull their swords from their sheaths. She held her hand up to stop them. “Don't.” She moved past the guards and walked up the airlock. “Get dressed. You're coming with me.”

She was halfway to the gate when Kane and her mother came running up to her asking her what she was doing; telling her to stop. 

“No. I'm letting the prisoner go.” She told them as they continued to move forward. Abby told her that there was no way she was letting him go and Kane's only concern was for the fact that he hadn't told them anything. “He doesn't have to. He's gonna tell them something.”

“Get the prisoner back to the airlock. Now.” Abby said and the guards started to move toward Clarke, the grounders unsheathed their swords and dropped into a defensive stance around Clarke and Emerson. 

Clarke stepped through them toward her mother. Her anger with her mother for slowing her down was clear. “You may be the Chancellor, but I'm in charge.”

Abby turned to Indra. “Indra, tell your people to stand down before this gets out of hand.” Indra’s returned “No” rocked Abby back on her heels. “People could get hurt.”

“Not if you get out of my way.” Clarke said before throwing her mother’s words back at her. “You need to trust that I know what's right for us.”

Kane’s hand landed on Abby’s shoulder as he told her that the grounders trusted Clarke and maybe they should too. Abby’s shoulders slumped in defeat as she told the guard to stand down.

Clarke turned to the guard at the gate and told him to open it now before turning to Emerson. “Can you hear me alright? Because I need to make sure you get this.”

He nodded as he said, “Loud and clear.”

“I have a message for your leader.” She leaned into him as she dropped her voice. “We're coming for him. You're watching us, but you haven't seen a thing. The Grounder army is bigger than you think, and even if you could find it, your acid fog can't hurt them, and now, thanks to you” She waved the tone generator at him. “Neither can the Reapers. So, you have one last chance. Let our people go, and we'll let you live. It's  _ just  _ that simple.”

“I got it.” He said, his attempts to stand were fruitless as the Grounders pressed him down by his shoulders. 

“It's an eight-hour walk back to Mount Weather.” She grabbed the oxygen regulator and started to release some air. “You're gonna do it in six.”

“Six hours? That's not enough.” His voice was outraged. “How am I supposed to deliver your message?”

“That's your problem.” She shrugged. She tilted her head at the grounders who released him and allowed him to stand up. “Now go.”

She was watching him run away from camp when Abby walked up and asked her to explain to her how that helpped Wells. “I just told him we have a secret army to worry about. The more they're looking at us, the less they're looking at him. Wells is the key to everything, Mom. If he dies, we die.”

\------------

Bellamy stood around the table with an excited buzz running through the room. They had their inside man. He was working to lower the acid fog and soon they would be able to rid the world of the mountain men. 

He should not have doubted the Sky Princess. She kept doing things that he would have thought impossible just months ago. A smirk lit his face up. “Okay, we have our first real opportunity to get the mountain men. Talk me through your ideas.” 

He nodded to the first man on his right who launched into his idea about how to defeat the mountain. 

\------------

Clarke walked into engineering as the hulking grounder shadowed her. “Has he checked in yet?”

Raven turned to look at Clarke briefly before she responded. “No. You worried someone's gonna try and take a shot at you inside the Ark?”

Clarke turned to Ryder and told him to wait outside; watching him exit before she turned back to Raven. “Bell’s orders.”

“Bell?” She raised her eyebrow. “Whatever, Clarke.”

“He's late.” Clarke paced around the room once before stopping in front of Raven’s board. “What if something's happened to him?”

“He'll be fine.” She said as she continued to tinker with the tone generator in her hand. 

“You've been busy.” Clarke said as she reviewed the board. Some of what Raven had there made sense if she remembered her father’s lessons correctly. “Why are you focusing on the dam? I told you acid fog was our priority.”

“Until Wells gets eyes on their dispersal system, there's only so much I can do.”

“Okay.” She nodded and turned to face Raven. “Tell me about the dam. Can we cut off their power?”

“Maybe.” Raven shrugged as she stood to move towards Clarke. “I'm still playing with a few things.”

“How many of those have you made?” Clarke asked.

“Only two so far, but--” Raven started to answer before Clarke cut her off.

“Two? That's not enough.” Clarke started to panic. Her stomach jumping to her throat. “There will be Reapers everywhere.”

“High-frequency tone generators don't grow on trees, Clarke.” Raven said defensively. “Wick is scrounging for parts.”

“Raven, I am about to leave for TonDC, where Bellamy and the heads of all twelve Grounder clans are waiting for me to tell them we're a go,” She gripped her hair in her hands and tugged harshly on it as her fearful eyes met Raven’s. “only we're not a go because they still have acid fog, and we only have two tone generators.”

A shuddering breath escaped Clarke as Raven moved in on her. “Hey. We'll be ready. We will.” Raven’s arms came up to wrap Clarke in a hug she wasn’t aware she needed until it was already happening. 

The crackle of Wells on the radio had Clarke pulling away from Raven and rushing to it. “Wells, you're late. Every three hours means every three hours.”

“Are you through?” He sounded exhausted.

She quirked her lips slightly before she asked, “Have you found the source of the acid fog?”

“No.” His voice sounded muffled for a moment and she could imagine him running his hands over his face. “That's gonna have to wait.”

“What? No.” She clutched the receiver tighter. Nothing was going the way she needed it to. “Nothing is more important than that.”

“Our friends are.” He said. “They've started taking them from the dorm one at a time every few hours.”

“Taking them where?” She slumped down into the chair behind her. Her one hand came up to rub at her face. 

“I don't know.” She could hear him saying something to what she assumed was Maya before he turned back to the mic of his radio. “We tried to follow them, but they went to a classified level. Maya borrowed the schematics of the vent system from her boss, and I'm still trying to find a way in.”

Maya’s muffled voice floated quietly across the radio as she said. “I think I found a path, but it's gonna be tight. Here's the walkie Raven asked for and the earbud.”

Raven turned to Clarke and gripped her shoulder in support. “We're going to make him mobile so he can talk to us from anywhere.”

“Wells, you have to find them.” She begged him. Her fear for her friends strangling the breath from her chest. Her conscious yelling at her for leaving them behind. 

“That's the plan.” he said gently.

“If you don't, all of this is for nothing.” She reminded him as if he didn’t already know. She almost missed his quiet reply in agreement as she turned to Raven. “I'll be right back.”

“I thought you were going to TonDC?” Raven asked. 

She shook her head. “Plans have changed. I'm staying here.”

Clarke walked outside leaving Raven to explain how to set up the device to be mobile to Wells and Maya. Ryder followed her as she set out to find Kane. She rounded the corner only to bump into him. When she told him that she needed him to go to TonDC in her stead he reminded her that the commander was expecting her. 

“Our people inside Mount Weather are in trouble.” She looked up at him pleading for him to understand. “I'm not going anywhere until I know they're okay.”

“And what can you do for them from here?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“You'll go to TonDC in my place. Bellamy respects you. I'll get there soon as I can.” Clarke turned from him to head back towards engineering. 

“Clarke, wait.” Ryder pulled his sword as Kane rushed to follow her. 

“Put it away.” She said as she turned to Kane and nodded for him to continue. 

“Clarke, being a good leader means knowing which battles to fight.” His voice trailed off for a moment. 

“And which to delegate.” She finished for him, not giving him the opportunity to. “I know. Please, I need you to go to TonDC.”

He nodded at her. “Fine. I'll go.”

She thanked him and turned back to head towards engineering. Stopping outside the doors she told Ryder he could wait outside again or he could head to get something to eat that she would remain there for the foreseeable future. He only left when she promised to not leave until he returned. 

When she entered the room, Raven and Sinclair had pulled up some schematics that must have been on the Ark server before the bombs that wiped out civilization. Raven held the receiver in one hand as the other traced the lines on the paper. 

When Raven asked Wells where he was, he told her he was at an intersection. “Which way?” He asked and Clarke looked over Raven’s shoulder. 

Raven handed Clarke the radio as she scooted in closer to the schematic. “Okay. He just passed the air filtration system on this floor, which puts him about here.”

“Wells, we think you're close. The lab should be up ahead.” Clarke told him as she watched Raven’s fingers tracing the lines on the paper in front of her. 

Just as Wells was asking them to be more specific, the sound of a drill met Clarkes ears. She closed her eyes as he started moving again. The sound of the drill got louder, and her heart dropped. When Raven asked if that was a drill in the background. Clarke looked at her and nodded. “Bone marrow extraction.” 

She thought she was going to be sick when the voice of the snake of a doctor came across the radio. When Emerson’s voice came back in reply to Dr. Tsing, a fire started to rawr at the back of her mind. 

The next voice she heard was one that she was unfamiliar with, asking about the secret army that Clarke had alluded to. Her only thought was at least something had worked. The drill started back up again and when she didn’t hear a scream accompany it, she knew at least one of her friends was dead. Dr. Tsing’s voice confirmed it for her after the unknown man asked her to stop drilling. 

Raven’s movement stopped when she heard the man say it was a little too late to let their people live after Emerson finished repeating her demands. The tears started to fall at that. She couldn’t help but blame herself for those deaths. 

“No, it's okay.” The other man comforted Emerson who had just apologized for failing. Clarke wished she would have given him less than 6 hours air when she let him go. Then he really would have failed. “We'll finish the job tonight. Whitman just radioed in. Apparently, there's a war council meeting happening tonight in one of their villages, and all the leaders are gonna be there. We’re gonna use a missile. This time, we're not gonna miss.”

“Please tell me you heard all that.” Wells whispered.

Clarke confirmed that they had, and her mind started to race until Raven said that they needed to warn them. When Raven told her that they didn’t have a radio in TonDC because they had to keep that line open for Wells she turned to Raven and said, “If I leave now, I can make it there in time.”

“In time to be blown up, you mean.” Raven snorted. 

“When I get back, I want to know our friends are safe and the acid fog is down. Can you handle that?” She started to head out of the room before Raven had a chance to confirm that she could handle it. 

“Hey,” Raven’s voice stopping her was closer than she expected it to be. When she turned to look at Raven over her shoulder she saw why. “Don't get blown up.”

Clarke nodded to her before she turned and fled the area, heading to grab the grey mount that had gotten her there. Hoisting herself up she took off in a mad dash, pushing the animal to run for as long as he could. His swift, strong strides thundered below her, and she fought to keep the panic from overwhelming her. 

\------------

Bellamy was disappointed when Kane arrived without a certain blonde, begging off for her due to something going on with the delinquents in the mountain. They’d just barely begun to discuss matters when a scout came in announcing that Clarke had made for the meeting. 

When he saw her blonde head descending the steps into the meeting room, he felt his heart rate spike as he said. “Clarke of the Sky People has honored us with her presence.” His lips turning up into a smirk. 

“I'm sorry I'm late, Commander.” She sounded unfazed but her eyes were a little frantic. 

Kane turned to her with a suspicious glare. “You made good time. I assume the kids at Mount Weather are okay?”

“For now.” She nodded but didn’t take her eyes off of his face. “Can we talk in private?”

He nodded “Yes. This way.” When they had retreated to a back room, she spun a tail of terrifying intrigue ending with a missile dropping on them. This boy, Wells, was proving very useful. “A missile? You're sure?”

“Yes. We have to start evacuating now.” She started to move back towards the meeting room.

He grabbed her arm to stop her. “No.” 

“What do you mean no, Bellamy?” She said, her face narrowing in confusion. 

“If we evacuate,” He started slowly, his hand trailing down to hold her hand, the other commanders yelling at him loudly. “they'll know we have a spy inside their walls.”

“Not necessarily.” She argued, her face slowly losing composure. 

He ran his thumb across the back of the hand he still held. “We can't risk it.”

“What's the point of having an inside man if we can't act on what he tells us?” She whispered as her face tilted up towards his, begging him to save his people. 

“Is the acid fog disabled?” His own voice lowered to match her tone. “Is our sleeping army uncaged?” She shook her head at him, her eyes welled with tears. “Then Wells’ job is not done. Without him, we can't win this war.”

“So, what are you saying? We just do nothing, let them bomb us?” She slowly pulled her hand out of his. 

“It will be a blow, but our army will be safe inside the woods, we’ve already emptied as much of the village as we could, in case of just such an event. This will inspire them." He let his hands flap heavy against his sides, just as frustrated with the counsel the other commanders were offering, no matter how much he understood what they were saying. 

“And what about us?” She turned away; arms crossed over her chest as her fingers drummed against her biceps. 

“We slip away right now.” He dropped a shawl over her shoulders. “Put this on.”

“Bell, wait. You don't understand.” She pulled the shawl tighter around her shoulders, her eyes guilty as they stared up at him. “I provoked Mount Weather. I sent a message to distract them from Wells.”

“Clarke, sometimes, you have to concede a battle to win a war.” He worked his jaw as he stared down at her. His hands itching to pull her into his chest to comfort her. 

“No.” She shook her head. Her pleading eyes begging him for something he couldn’t provide. “We can inform the leaders of the clans, pick a rendezvous point in the woods. Each of them can slip out separately.”

“And how many more people will they tell?” He asked. “Where do we draw the line?”

Her voice raised in desperation as she shouted at him, “Well, then cancel the meeting, start a fire, something!”

“Clarke, we don't have time for this.” He begged her to understand with his eyes. 

“No, no! This is wrong!” The tears that had welled in her eyes started to slowly trail down her face as she attempted to blink them away. 

“It's also our only choice, and you know it.” His voice dropping back down to a whisper. “You could have warned everyone up there, but you didn't. You said nothing, not even to your own people. This is war, Clarke. People die. You showed true strength today. Don't let emotions stop you now. It's time to go.”

He grabbed her hand again, smoothing his thumb over her hand one more time before pulling her towards the back exit. When he got to the stairs, he pushed her up ahead of him, grabbing a torch on his way out. As they fled the camp, he tossed it onto the back of one of the huts. Starting that fire was hopefully enough to move some people out of the line of fire. 

\------------

She’d seen him drop the torch on the way out, she’d heard the dry wood lick with flames as it raced up its sides, but she was still mad for the fact that he kept tugging her along, further and further away from camp. “Clarke, we have to keep moving. We're not far enough away. The last time they used a missile, it was before I was born. According to legend, it left a hole in the woods you could not see across. Now let's go.”

“What if we made them miss?” She begged. If they could find the spotter, they would be able to take him out before he gave the coordinates. 

“You're not listening. With a weapon like that, you can't miss.” He said without looking at her, his hand just tugging her along. 

“Yes, you can.” She stopped, digging her heels into the ground. “I heard them talking about a spotter, someone in the field to aim the missile. If we could just find him.” Clarke turned her head to look back at the camp, the fire starting to pick up as the wind shifted it towards another building. Suddenly her mom’s profile came into view around the flames. “No. What's she doing here?”

“Clarke, you can't go back. Clarke!” He yelled at her as she took off, tearing her fingers from his. 

She paused only a moment to say. “Your sister is safe in Camp Jaha. My mother is not.”

She raced down the hill and grabbed her mother’s arm. “Mom, what are you doing here? I told you to stay back at camp.”

Abby’s frustrated face turned to hers. “Enough, Clarke. I'm the Chancellor. I don't need your permission to go--”

“No.” Clarke cut her mother off. “We have to leave now.”

Abby’s expression turned confused. “What is going on?”

“We can't be here.” She tugged at her mother’s hand, just as Bellamy had done to her. “Please, Bellamy and I were in the woods, we saw the fire. Please, mom, I am begging you. Please. Come on.”

Abby asked her to wait but Clarke turned frantic eyes on her. “No. We can't stop. There's no time.”

They’d only barely made it into the forest when her mother pulled up to a stop. “I am not taking a step further until you tell me what is happening.”

The thundering of the missile’s kept her from needing to answer. Her heart started to race; they were too close. She pulled on her mother’s hands, urging her to move further. They broke off into a run. When the missile landed, they were thrown from their feet. The ringing in her ears told her that she’d had some damage to them, which she only hoped was only temporary. 

She turned to look for her mother, only to see her laying face down on the ground. She rushed over to her and started to turn her over. “Mom, are you okay? Oh, my God. Come on. We can't be here. W-we have to go.”

Abby’s face turned cold with disbelief as she looked up at Clarke. “You knew. You knew, and you let this happen?”

“We had no choice.” She whispered, tears welling in her eyes as she helped her mother to her feet. 

“So many people. Our people.” Abby’s voice was stunned.

“No.” She shook her head. “Bellamy started a fire. We had to protect Wells. Without him-”

“Tell me this was Bellamy. Please, Clarke. Please tell me this wasn't you.” Clarke looked up to see the tears in her mother’s eyes. 

“I wish I could.” She said as the tears fell from her eyes. Her voice turned pleading as she realized what could happen if her mother told anyone. “You can't tell anyone about this. If anyone finds out that we knew, the alliance of the twelve clans will break. We'll lose the war.”

“You crossed the line.” Abby told Clarke as she called for her mom. “Their blood is on your hands, and even if we win, I'm afraid you won't be able to wash it off this time. Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

Clarke called after her mom again as Abby turned to walk away. When her mom didn’t look back, Clarke fell to her knees and cried. The guilt trying to consume her. A large hand came down to rest on her hand and her blue eyes turned up to mean the sad, dark eyes of the Commander. 

“I could've warned them.” She whispered, pleading with him. “I could've saved them.”

“Come on.” He helped her to her feet, pulling further into the woods. “If they see us, they'll strike again. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice.”

“I want the Mountain Men dead, all of them.” She said as she followed him blankly, her body feeling hollowed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think? 
> 
> Kudos and comments welcome!


	14. It’s My Fault That I Don’t Remind You Every Day of Your Life, You’re Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looked up at their people, some of them broken and bent from the ordeal they’d just been through, before she looked up at Wells. “I bear it so they done't have to.May we meet again.” She said before she turned away from her people and wandered off into the woods. She could feel Wells’ eyes on her until the trees hid her from view. Once she had moved far enough away she found a pocket of Earth to hide herself in. she pulled her jacket tightly around herself and cried until she passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay another doozy of a chapter. Almost 10k words. End of season two. Onwards and upwards. 
> 
> I apologize in advance of any errors.

It had been hours that they’d been wandering, and the sun had started to rise again. Clarke still couldn’t feel anything but numb. Her mind whorled with the weight of killing the people in Bellamy’s village. The sound of the brush rustling barely registered in her head until Bellamy had grabbed her elbow and pulled her back under the cover of the forest. Her eyes barely locked on to the man with a gun pointed towards the camp. And only then did she notice the slight popping of the silenced gun. 

“The spotter.” She whispered to Bellamy. “He aimed the missile, he's alone.”

Clarke started to move around to flank the spotter. Bellamy gripped her arm and she turned to look back at him. “Clarke, slow down. If he's a spotter he's here to make sure we're dead. If he tells the mountain we're alive-”

Clarke cut him off. “He won't tell them.”

“How can you be sure?” He asked, a confused tone lacing through his whispered words. 

“Because I'm gonna kill him.” She said as she pulled away from him. She heard him sigh as he moved to follow her. 

“I feel your anger, Clarke.” He said as they moved around behind the spotter. Crouching up to get into position. 

“Do me a favor,” Her head whipped around to glare at him. “no more lessons.”

“Clarke, you need to focus,” His own voice dripped with annoyance. “we do what we must to survive the enemy does the same. It's not personal.”

“It is to me.” As Clarke raised her weapon to fire at the man in the army fatigues as another figure drew both their attention and Whitman’s. As Whitman turned to fire on Lincoln, Clarke rose from her position. 

Whitman’s attention diverted to her and Bellamy’s unimpressed voice rose to her ears. “So much for the element of surprise.”

Lincoln yelled to them that he would draw his fire and Clarke told him that she would as she began shooting at the man. Lincoln charged into the fray as Whitman ducked and dodged her bullets, stopping Clarke from firing at will in fear of hitting Lincoln. 

Lincoln’s hands were around the man’s throat when suddenly Whitman pulled out a tone generator. Lincoln’s hands dropped from his neck to cover his ears. The mountain man pulled Lincoln to his feet as he trembled from the tone, even as Whitman’s blade bit into his neck. 

“Drop the weapon.” The frantic voice of Whitman screamed out. 

“Just let him kill me then take him out.” Lincoln’s shaky voice tripped over his words. “Clarke, please your people need you.”

“You are my people.” Clarke’s flat eyes met Lincoln’s as she raised her gun to fire a shot through his shoulder into Whitman’s heart. The man let go of Lincoln as he stumbled backwards, shock written all over his face before falling to the ground, dead.

Lincoln clutched his shoulder as he curled around his wound. “Good shot.”

Clarke’s eyes started to water as she looked at Lincoln’s wounded form, watching him tremble as the adrenaline wore off and the pain set in. Bellamy came up to stand behind her shoulder. His hand falling on her shoulder, it was then that she realized that she was shaking too. 

His deep voice was soft in her ear. “Did that make you feel better?”

“No.” She said as tears started to slowly trail down her face. She turned to look up at him over her shoulder as Lincoln blew the horn, letting the people of TonDC that they were free to search the wreckage. 

She pulled away from him as she moved towards Lincoln to help him to his feet. 

\------------

Bellamy watched Clarke from the corner of his eye. Her emotions had been all over the place, but she had still risen to every challenge that had placed in front of her, with a sort of single-minded intensity. What should have made her reckless, instead gave her laser focus. What the commanders and every mentor he had chastised him for she had used to her advantage. Though she fell blank in between moments of stress he was still in awe of her. 

But he wondered how much more she could take. Her tears had dried long before they made it back to camp and he could hear her and Lincoln softly talking to each other ahead of him, he couldn’t help but be concerned for her, and wished that she would talk to him about it. 

The sound of his people calling out to him as they noticed them. Lincoln sat down in the wreckage with his arms around Bellamy’s sister. “Heda!” was being shouted in rising pitch. 

He moved forward around the immobile blonde. “What happened here will not stand. The Mountain will fall, the dead will be avenged!”

Abby’s angry voice cut through the cheers of his people. “Enough, that's enough.” Her glare was almost as intimidating as her daughters when she stared him down. “There are still others in the wreckage. We heard them. Go to work!”

He turned back to Clarke who was still staring at the ruins with quiet regret. “With our two people working together, we're gonna win this war, Clarke.”

\------------

Octavia moved towards Clarke who had finally picked her way down to get a closer look at what her inaction had caused. “I thought you and my brother were dead, I'm glad you're not.”

The dark-haired grounder’s arms came up around Clarke. She hesitated only a moment before she wrapped her arms around her too. “You too.”

Clarke’s arm dropped as she pulled back. Octavia threw her a quick smile as she moved away towards the other group of grounders preparing to leave. She spotted her mother treating the wounded and she moved towards her. 

She looked around for Kane who was usually not far from her mother and knowing that he was injured she did not expect her mother to be far from him. Her mother stood and looked at her, when she noticed her approach. “How's Kane?”

“He'll live.” She said stiffly. Her eyes dropped down before looking back up to meet Clarke’s eyes with a significantly softer look. “We could really use your help.”

“Can't, we're leaving.” The “I’m Sorry” that she wanted to shout was stuck in her throat. There was too much that she was sorry for. “I've arranged for a caravan to take you and wounded back to Camp Jaha.”

Abby started to say something, and Clarke cut her off before she could get on with blaming Clarke any further. “The sniper wasn't wearing a hazmat suit.”

Abby’s eyebrows rose in shock. “The marrow treatment works.”

She nodded back to her and with a tight voice replied, “They're gonna kill all my friends.”

“Then you should hurry.” Clarke started to turn away before her mother’s voice floated towards her ears again. “I need you to do something for me, don't forget that we're the good guys.”

She nodded and moved back towards Bellamy and his warriors. Her eyes focused in front of her as she tried to ignore everything that was behind her. 

\------------

His warriors were loud around his tent as the tense blonde princess poured over the maps on his desk. He leaned back into his chair as he worked at calming his mind enough to fall into his mind space and have some discussions with the previous commanders. He could not have them all shouting conflicting messages in his mind during battle.

“What if we're wrong and cutting the power doesn't disengage the locks?” Clarke’s voice pulled his focus again. Her distraction was only going to make this that much harder for him. He sighed as she began to mumble to herself under her breath.

He sighed before opening his eyes and responding to her. “Your people said it will. You should rest, Clarke.”

Her voice rose in volume again, ignoring what he’d just said. “We could blow the doors manually.”

He stood up and walked over to her, dropping his hands on her shoulders, pressing lightly to allow her tense shoulders to fall before she gave herself a headache. “Plans don't last very long in battle. Tiring yourself with questions already asked and answered is a waste of energy.”

“People died for this, Bell.” She turned to look at him over her shoulder and he could see her eyes begin to water again. “It has to work.”

“You're doing what I did when I first took command.” He dropped his voice to a low whisper, hoping that it would draw her mind away from planning and focus on something else. “We can't move forward and it's giving you too much time to think. Once Wells shuts down the acid fog and the battle beings, everything will be clear.”

“What if he can't? What if it was too dangerous and I sent him in there anyway?” She quietly pleaded with him to give her some reassurance, but he couldn’t. His heart lurched at her worry for that man.

“You care about him.” He said just as quietly, though his tone was questioning. 

“I care about all of them.” She said as her face twisted in confusion. Her blue darted back and forth between his. 

“But you worry about him more.” He pressed.

“He’s my best friend from childhood. I couldn't have kept us alive all this time without him. We need him. And now I might be the one who gets him killed.” Her voice fretted. 

“That's what it means to be a leader, Clarke.” He told her, shaking his head. “The truth is, we must look into the eyes of our warriors and say, 'go die for me'.”

“If only it were that easy.” Her voice turned spiteful as she pulled away from him. “Can we please just get back to the plan?”

“No.” He reached for her hand and pulled her back around to face him. His tone resolute, insistent. “You could be a leader your people look to. Pour their hopes and dreams into. Someone they would fight and die for."

“I never asked for that.” He could see her fighting back tears. “I'm just trying to keep us alive.”

His hand came up to brush some hair out of her face before resting a moment on her jaw and running the rest of the way down her arm to grab her other hand. “You were born for this, Clarke. Same as me.”

\------------

Clarke sat down next to Octavia who was staring pensively into the fire. “Everything okay?”

Octavia’s fierce green eyes met Clarke’s stormy blue. “I've been going over it and over it in my head, just trying to figure out how you're still alive.”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke feigned ignorance, her eyes darting around to make sure no one could hear them. Her heart aching as she noticed Monroe standing off to the side, listening in covertly.

“I saw you in TonDC before the missile hit. You looked like something was wrong. And then you and my brother just disappear and just happen to survive. Did you know it was coming?”

“Octavia, please.” She needed Octavia to stop talking, she could see the surprise morphing into something she didn’t want to name on Monroe’s face. 

“You let all those people die. You were gonna let me die, just to save my brother?” Her tone turned almost awe-like. 

“I couldn’t let him die, but mostly I couldn’t let Mount Weather know that Wells was inside their walls. Your brother was the one who made me see that. But please Octavia, we can’t discuss this here.” She stood up as she saw Monroe turn to leave. “I’ve got to go.”

“Hey, Monroe, Wait.” She jogged over to her grabbing her arm. “I did it to save Wells. So that we could win this war. Don't you see that? If we'd evacuated TonDC, Mount Weather would've known that someone tipped us off. They would have found him. They are killing our friends."

Monroe’s anger was swift. “No. Wells would have never told you to do that. He would've found another way.”

“I couldn't take that risk.” Her voice was pleading with Monroe. 

“Right. Because you're in charge now, and you decide who is disposable. You'd have fit right in on the council. You really are the Sky Princess.” 

“Monroe, please.” She grabbed her elbow. “You can't tell anyone. If people found out--”

She sneered back at Clarke, cutting her off. “The alliance will break. I'm not an idiot, Clarke.” She sneered at Bellamy who’d just walked out of his tent, as she passed. She didn’t bother to greet him as she moved around him to her guard position just outside of camp. 

“She won't say anything.” She said as she approached him. 

“You can't be sure of that.” He said, his eyes following Monroe’s retreating figure. “Too many people know, Clarke.”

“You worry about your people; I'll worry about mine.” Her frustration and fear leaked into her tone as she turned away from him but not before hearing Bellamy say something to Ryder who was following him around. 

Clarke watched Ryder slink off not long after she’d moved around to the other side of camp. Noticed him moving him off in the direction that Monroe had walked in. Her suspicion at what orders Bellamy had given him, growing by the second. When she couldn’t quell her nerves, she got up to follow Ryder. She followed him further into the woods, further than Monroe had moved. She was just about to head back when it looked like she had mistaken what his purpose was when he turned to flank Monroe, bow drawn. 

She crept up quietly behind him. She only cocked the gun when it was a few inches from his temple. “Don't move.” Her voice was covered with a steel edge. 

“I have my orders.” He sounded apologetic but his bow didn’t lower. 

“I don't care. This is not happening.” She grabbed his wrist forcing his hand to lower his bow. “Let's go.”

She pressed her gun to his lower back and forced him back towards the camp. Monroe’s eyes flashed to her in surprise before lowering in confusion when Clarke shook her head, as they passed.

She moved him through the flap of Bellamy’s tent without any preamble. Her voice rising to a near shout as she saw him looming over the map on his table, much like she had done early that week. 

“You sent him to kill Monroe? I told you she's not a problem.” He told Ryder to leave them but when he moved to leave, she pulled him back by his wrist. “No. I'm not letting him out of my sight.”

Only when Bellamy told him to stand down did Clarke let him leave the tent. She moved into his space. “What the hell is wrong with you? You can't just kill everyone you don't trust.”

“Yes, I can.” He said as he stepped closer to her. His chest brushing hers. 

“Well, I won't let you.” She said, looking up into his face. Watching his jaw work the muscles of his face. 

“You were willing to let her die two days ago.” His voice lowered as he leaned his towering frame over her. “Nothing has changed.”

“You're wrong.” She leaned towards him as well before she pulled back and moved out of his space. Her voice lowering “I have. I can't do this anymore.”

“Monroe is a threat. If you weren't so close to her, you'd see that.” His tone gentling as hers resigned into defeat.

“That’s rich.” She scoffed. “It's because I'm close to her that I know she's loyal.” 

“And you're willing to risk everything on that? On your feelings?” He asked, sounding unsure. 

“Yes.” She said, pushing off the table. “You say having feelings makes me weak. But you're weak for hiding from them. I might be a hypocrite, Bellamy, but you're a liar. You felt something for Gustus. You're still haunted by Gina. And you protect Octavia as if your life depends on it. You want everyone to think you're above it all, but I see right through you.”

He stared at her, his eyes tracing her face. Her own eyes dancing over his soft face. “Two hundred and fifty people died in that village. I know you felt for them. But you let them burn.”

“Not everyone.” He said moving closer to her. His hands reaching out to cup her face. “Not you.”

“Well, if you care about me, then, trust me.” She said staring up at him. Her own hand coming to rest upon the one on her cheek. “Monroe is not a threat.”

He shook his head at her, slipping his hand away from her face. “I can't do that.”

“I can't sacrifice my people anymore. If you do anything to hurt Monroe, I'll tell everyone we knew about the missile.” She promised. Staring him down for a moment before turning away and leaving his tent. Her face disappointed.

\------------

“Big Brother.” The sound of his sister’s voice drew him away from the table of the Commanders. Their chastisement rang loudly in his ear. She looked at him tentatively, picking around the mess he had created when Clarke had walked away from him. He hung his head in shame. 

“Bell?” She moved into his space. Her hand pulledis face up to her. “What happened here?”

“I happened.” He pulled away from his sister, leaning back into the chair behind him. Not meeting her questioning gaze.

“I saw Clarke leave your tent.” She sounded hesitant. “She looked upset. Did you have a fight?”

He chuckled humorlessly. “Not in the way you are thinking. She called me out on something.” His eyes finally rose to meet hers. “She was right, you know. I’m weak.”

“Bell-” She started to deny it. He could tell she wanted to by the way her body softened towards him.

“No, O, I’m weak for her; because of her.” His hands came up to tug at his dark curls. “The other commanders are furious. They say that the commander can have no connections. No family and I’m already failing that because of you. They say it will get me killed. That our people will never accept a commander who allows themselves to be weak.”

“Bell, it’s not weak. And Clarke is admirable; it’s hard not to find someone who will do the things she’s done to keep her people alive that way.” His sister’s hands came up to pull his out of his hair. “The people here find her just as admirable as you do. They talk about her already. She is the stuff of legends, as are you Big Brother.”

“I want her to be mine, O.” He looked up to her eyes. A soft smile played on her lips. 

“I know.” She said. “She can be, you know. If you are brave enough to take her. The commanders are not all knowing. They only add more knowledge to the ones before. And besides, you are Heda now, not them. You can do whatever the hell you want.”

He nodded at her a rueful smile playing on his lips. He opened his mouth to respond to her when the flap of his tent swished open and Ryder stalked in. They had gotten the sign that the acid fog was down, and his army could move forward.

He looked at Octavia grinning as he sent Ryder to tell his generals to prepare to move. “O, help me pick up? I need to talk to Clarke before we head to war.” 

She chuckled at him before helping him to pick up his space. Only when his tent was in a more presentable state did she leave, telling Bellamy that she would send Clarke to him. 

He paced nervously while he waited. Moments before she entered, he leaned against the table holding the map. “You sent for me?” she asked with a confused voice. 

“Yes.” He said turning to her. “Monroe has nothing to fear from me. I do trust you, Clarke.”

“I know how hard that is for you.” She said as she moved to place her hand on his bicep. 

“You think our ways are harsh,” He sucked in a ragged breath. “but that's how we survive.”

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?” Her blue eyes met his before dancing around his face. Her breathing picked up slightly as he leaned towards her. 

He nodded at her. His eyes darting down to her lips. “Maybe we do.”

His hands came to rest gently against her jaw. Her eyes flicked down to his lips and that was all he needed to press forward. His lips landed gently on hers. When her hands came up to rest on his arms, he pressed harder against her lips. His tongue brushing lightly against the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth to his with a soft groan. 

The sound of her own groan seemed to pull her back to her senses, and she pulled away from him quickly. The sound of their harsh breathing was the only sound as their eyes danced on each other’s faces. 

She was the first to look away as her eyes turned down. “I'm sorry. I- I’m not ready.” Her voice soft as the look on her face. “To be with anyone. Not yet."

“Your right and now is not the time.” He agreed with her even as his mind played back the memory of their kiss only moments ago. The way she responded to him sent a tingle down his spine. “Wells did it. You were right to have faith in him. Now we fight.”

He turned to exit and when Clarke moved to his side, he couldn’t stop the smile that played on his lips as he looked down at her, her own face pulled up in a smile back at him. They left the tent together and his people started to cheer for him. 

He quieted them with a raised hand. “Sound the horn!” He looked down at Clarke again as the horn blew. “To war!” He yelled as the crowd cheered harder. 

\------------

Clarke stood at his side as Bellamy welcomed in the contingent of her people, his smile small but courteous. “Welcome, Skaikru. Join us.”

Sergeant Miller carefully handed her a premade bomb for the door of Mount Weather. “A package from Raven. Hydrazine. She said it would do the job.”

“Good.” She said as she looked at him. He told her that her mom wanted to be there too, and she nodded in his direction. “ I know, but the wounded in TonDC need her more.”

“Field commanders, today's the day we get our people back.” Bellamy stepped forward away from her side. She watched him as he spoke to their people and the hope that he inspired in them, inspired something warmer in her. “The enemy thinks it's safe behind its doors, but it's not. When it realizes that, it will fight back, hard. We need to be ready.”

He looked back to her and Clarke nodded at him, before moving forward. Her hand itching to reach out to his. “This is a rescue mission. We are not here to wipe them out. There are people inside that mountain that have helped us, children who have nothing to do with this war. We kill their soldiers, their leadership if we have to, but we are there to rescue our people. Is that clear?” 

The men around the room nodded to her as they murmured in the affirmative. “Then let's begin. There are 4 teams. Two of them at the dam and in the mine are moving into position already. The third inside the mountain is freeing the Grounder prisoners as we speak. 

Clarke moved forward to the table holding the map. “It is our job as the fourth team to keep the eyes of the enemy off of them for as long as possible. To do that, we have to be in position here at the main door with our entire army. The mountain men believe the door can't be opened from the outside, so they leave it unguarded. Only it can be, and thanks to our source on the inside, now we know how. According to Maya, the electromagnetic locking system has one flaw. When the power goes out, it disengages. That's where Raven's team comes in. The mountain's electricity is generated at Philpott Dam. By now, they've taken the turbine room.”

She looked up at the grounders who surrounded her. “It's their job to blow the power. Once they do, we blow the lock. There is a catch, a backup generator inside the mountain. If the lock is still functioning when that backup power kicks in, we'll never get that door open, we'll never get our people back.”

It was Sergeant Miller who asked. “How much time do we have until the backup power kicks in?”

She turned to him. “One minute. That's the window.” 

“Small window. Why don't we just take out the backup generator, too?” He moved in towards her. “Wells is inside. Have him do it.”

She nodded as she listened to him and responded when he finished. “Leaving them without power that long would kill them all, and as I said, that's not the mission. Besides, we lost contact with Wells.”

Monroe’s face was a picture of surprise when she asked. “We did? When?”

“After he took out the acid fog.”

Bellamy moved up beside her to place his hand on her shoulder. “Wells is a warrior. He'll be fine.”

Clarke nodded sending him a thankful smile before she moved out from under his hand. “As the commander said, once the door is open, the shooting will start, and they'll throw everything they have at us, but that's what we want. We want them looking at us because while we're fighting at the front door, Indra's team will be escorting the prisoners out the back, right through the reaper tunnels. Once all our people are free, they'll sound the retreat. We'll be back home before Mount Weather even knows they're gone, and that's it. That's the plan.”

The grounders murmured excitedly as Bellamy moved back to the dais where his throne sat. “The mountain has cast a shadow over these woods for too long. They've hunted us, controlled us, turned us into monsters. That ends today. Thanks to our alliance with the Sky People, the mountain will fall. As Clarke said, we spare the innocent. As for the guilty.”

He paused for a moment to look at the people around him. His eyes catching on Clarke’s as he said. “Jus dren just daun” The grounders picking up the chant as it rose in volume throughout the camp.

\------------

Bellamy watched Monroe drill into the door with a machine he’d never seen before in his life. “That should do it.” She said after what had seemed like hours of work. “Bombs away.” 

Clarke reminded the Sergeant to be careful as he placed the bomb in the hole that had just been created. He nodded at her, but his hands still trembled. 

Bellamy turned to his people, “Archers, watch the trees.” He looked around himself, knowing the eyes of the Mountain were on them and time was running short. He wanted to turn around and protect as many people as he could that still lived but there was a feeling in his gut that he didn’t like. 

Lincoln’s soft words to the older man caught his ears, drawing his eyes back towards the door. “Hey. You can do this.”

“What if we're too late?” The older Miller asked Lincoln as he tried to calm his trembling hands. 

“What if we're not?” Lincoln reminded him. “Draw strength from your son.”

“This mountain has taken too much from both of us, hasn't it?” He said as he finished sliding the bomb home. The beep of the device being activated, resounded loudly in his ears, sending his gut up into his throat though his passive mask stayed on. 

For hours he stood at Clarke’s side as their army waited. The twilight of night eventually fell before Clarke made an impatient move. “It's taking too long.”

“It takes as long as it takes.” He reminded her. The twist of her smile told him that she remembered the last time they had discussed that very thing. “What will you do when it's over?”

Clarke looked at him for a moment before she said. “I have no idea.”

“Well, what do you want?” He pressed. His palms grew sweaty under his dark fingerless gloves. 

“Nothing.” She shook her head. “My people back. I can't think past today.”

“You should come with me to the capital.” He dared a look at her. Her blue eyes holding his brown. “Polis will change the way you think about us.”

“You already have.” She said with a rueful smile. 

Any further conversation of the future was cut off by the sound of distant gunfire. Lincoln perked up as he shifted closer to Clarke. “It's coming from the dam.”

“They know we're going for the power.” Her voice was choked as her open face looked at him, begging him to deny it. 

He shook his head. “They know we're going for the door.”

He didn’t hear the rest of what was said as he drowned in the dark blue of her ocean eyes. The storm in her coming out of her eyes, and he felt as if he was being tossed around by it. 

\------------

The sound of the bombs blowing the dam met her ears before she turned her excited face to Bellamy. “She did it.”

Sergeant Miller started the countdown behind her as the lights on the door flicked off. “One minute starting now.”

“For those we've lost” Clarke said, holding out the remote detonator to Bellamy as she stared up at him with a soft smile on her face. 

He returned her smile, equally as soft. “And those we'll soon find.” They both pressed down on the button that should have set the bomb off. His confused face meeting hers as he asked. “What's wrong? Why isn't it working?”

“They're jamming us. I have to get closer.” Clarke stepped out from behind cover to move towards the door. Lincoln screamed her name as the gunfire started to rain down on them; He jumped from cover to pull her back. 

“45 seconds! If I can get there, I can trigger it manually.” Sgt. Miller said. Clarke tried to disagree with him, but he turned his solemn face to her. “For Nate, I have to try.”

At Bellamy’s shout in his language the grounders formed a shield around Sgt. Miller as they moved closer to the door. The gunfire increased in tempo the closer they got. 

“30 seconds!” Clarke cried out. When suddenly a bullet hit the toe of one of the grounders who fell to the ground, exposing the others. Before her eyes, her hope crumbled as quickly as the shield wall had. She had a stray thought that at least now she wouldn’t have to break the news to Miller that his father was dead, because she would never be able to get to them now. 

“We'll find another way in.” Bellamy said as his hands turned her face away from the dead grounders to meet his stare. 

“There is no other way in. You know that.” She felt the desperation leaking into her voice. 

Lincoln’s voice pulled both of their attention as he said, “We don't need one.” as he drew back on the flaming arrow in his grip. Clarke started to count down the remaining seconds. Lincoln’s arrow hit the bomb right as Clarke said one. She held her breath as the bomb exploded. When the light stayed off, she couldn’t stop the surprised laughter that fell from her lips

“We need to get to that ridge and take out the shooters.” Bellamy said. When Lincoln moved to head towards the ridge. He stopped him, with a hand on his arm. The look they shared spoke volumes to Clarke about how close they had been. “No! You stay with Clarke. When the shooting stops, you get that door open.” 

Bellamy didn’t stop to see the nod that Lincoln gave him. Clarke watched his retreating back with a sense of dread. She couldn’t wait for this to be over and for him to be back in her line of sight and out of danger. 

\------------

Bellamy moved as quickly as he could on quiet feet in the brush surrounding the ridge where the gunmen were perched. He motioned for his archers to spread out and get in place. He moved forward to start the attack, but the sight of a man with his arms held high, stopped him in his tracks. 

“My name is Carl Emerson, Mount Weather Security Detail. I’m here to speak with the Commander.” The man repeated over and over again. He didn’t fight when Bellamy sent men out from their cover to bind him. 

Bellamy finally moved from the cover of the forest despite Roma and Ryder telling him to stay put. “Carl Emerson, what do you want from us?”

“It’s not what we want from you.” He said with a sinister grin on his face. “It’s what you want from us.”

Bellamy’s heart dropped into his stomach, but he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Why should I listen to you when we are about to take what we want?” 

“Because I’m here to offer you a deal that you’ll never see again. A deal that keeps all of your people safe, no more bloodshed.” Carl Emerson looked smug as he spoke to Bellamy. 

The relief that rushed through him was swift and warm as a summer morning. “What do you mean? You are going to release mine and Clarke’s people? Just like that?”

“Not Clarke’s people.” The relief that had been coursing through him only a moment ago, fled at those words. He felt heavy with dread as Emerson pressed on. “We need them. Their sacrifice will mean we never have to take another grounder again. It means you will have nothing to fear from us ever again.”

“Why should I believe you?” Bellamy hissed. 

Emerson motioned to the radio at his hip. When Bellamy pulled the radio off the clip and told whoever was on the other end of the line to speak, the radio crackled for a moment before he heard a pleased voice float across to him. “Commander, my name is Cage Wallace. I am the leader of the Mountain Men as you call us. We have all of your prisoners at the front door, ready to be released.”

Bellamy was about to ask, again, why he should believe them when a feminine voice speaking Trigedasleng “Heda, my name is Echo, I am Azgeda and we are free from the cages. We are standing in front of a large metal door.”

The pang in his heart told him this was the wrong thing to do, but every fiber of his brain was shouting at him to accept this. That his people had suffered enough, and he could spare them anymore. He tried to find any way to work around this, but nothing came to mind. 

“You may have your truce,” He growled. He knew he had just lost any hope of what he and Clarke could have been. “but I will not stop Clarke. She will want her revenge and it may be worse than you think it will be. She will not go softly into the night.”

“Leave her to us.” Emerson said and Bellamy flinched at the praise the other commanders flung at him. 

\------------

When the shooting stopped, a cheer went up around them. Suddenly there was a movement under the metal of the shield wall, Monroe pointed it out in surprise. Clarke sent them over to make sure whomever was still alive was able to get out from under the heavy metal. Clarke watched Monroe approach them with Lincoln covering her. She shouted back when they lifted the metal that it was Sgt. Miller and he was okay. They pulled him out and helped him to limp back behind the lines. 

“They'll be waiting just inside the door.” She shouted. “Train your fire on the door.” 

Lincoln shouted in his language and some of the grounders moved forward to attach the hooks to the door. The lines of ropes were trailing out behind them. With the lines secured Lincoln shouted for them to pull on the doors. 

The doors were barely open when Clarke gave the command to attack now only to have Bellamy’s deep voice call for them to stand down. His body was radiating tension and regret was pouring from his deep brown eyes. 

“What is this?” She asked as he closed in on her. A man behind her shouted that they were coming out and Clarke turned to look at the door to see grounders coming out holding on to one another. “They're surrendering?”

She turned back to Bellamy with a question in her eyes when Emerson came out around his shoulder. “Not quite.” Emerson taunted as Bellamy’s guards cut the binds on his hands. 

“What did you do?” Her eyes darted between Emerson and Bellamy. Her jaw was slack as she pleaded silently for him to not have done what she was thinking. 

His next words crushed what little hope she’d had. “What you would have done. Saved my people.”

“Where are my people?” The tears started to well in her eyes.

“I'm sorry, Clarke.” He said, the regret pouring off him in waves that almost knocked her over. She knew what his next words were going to be before they were said, but he said them anyway. “They weren't part of the deal.”

“You made the right choice, Commander.” Emerson’s voice was smug, and she wanted to slit his throat for it. 

Lincoln approached her, his hand falling on her shoulder as she turned her face down to the floor. “What is this?”

“Your commander's made a deal.” She bit out. Her eyes strained to keep the tears from falling. 

“What about prisoners from the Ark?” Lincoln asked, his head shaking as his hand dropped from her shoulder. 

“They'll all be killed,” She said. Her eyes came up to look in his eyes, the tears finally falling from her eyes. “But you don't care about that, do you?”

“I do care, Clarke,” His whisper was loud in her ears. She could tell he genuinely regretted his decision, but her heart couldn’t forgive him for this. “But I made this choice with my head and not my heart. The duty to protect my people comes first.”

“Please don't do this.” She begged, her lip trembling.

Bellamy reached out to her, but she pulled away before he could reach her. “I'm sorry, Clarke.” His eyes flickered down before they caught on hers again. 

“Commander, not like this.” Lincoln tried. “Let us fight.”

“No. The deal is done.” He shook his head. “You, too. All our people withdraw. Those are the terms.”

“They'll be slaughtered. Let me help them.” Lincoln begged and Clarke turned to him and shook her head, telling him not to fight. And when Bellamy said that they would meet again, she met his eyes with a furious glare, hoping he understood she would kill him if they did. 

She stood frozen to her spot as the rest of her people tried to convince her to leave with them. When Monroe told her to “come on” that it “was over”. Clarke turned her eyes back towards the door. “It can't be over.”

She turned on her heel and ran to the tunnel. When she rounded the final corner where the door to Mount Weather was, she saw Octavia still standing outside the door. “Octavia. You stayed.”

“Of course, I stayed.” She said, her voice even. 

“We have to get in there.” Clarke said. 

Octavia turned to her, “If that was possible, do you think I'd still be out here? Why did Bellamy sound the retreat?”

“He made a deal with Mount Weather,” She turned her distraught face to Octavia. “freed the rest of your people, and now I’m on my own. You should probably head back to him.”

Clarke moved forward to bang on the door and Octavia shouted. “Stop! They'll know we're here.” The frustration leaked into Clarke’s movements as her hand jerked down to the gun at her waist, pulling it out she raised it, aiming at the keypad on the door. Octavia leapt forward in surprise. “What are you doing?” 

“I am getting through that door.” Clarke ground out as tears leaked down her cheeks. 

“Clarke -” Octavia gets cut off by the sound of the door beeping. Clarke raised her gun, expecting it to be mountain men only for it to be Wells, Jasper, Monty and Maya. The relief she felt was overwhelming. She moved towards them in a daze, her arms reaching out to hug the three boys. 

“Where's your army?” Wells asked, his eyes traveling her face as she stared at him. 

“Gone just like yours.” She pulled away to survey the boys. “Say you have a plan.”

“Not really. We need to talk to Dante. Maya says he's in quarantine.” Wells said before a beeping comes from Maya’s hazmat suit. 

“Thirty minutes.” Jasper mumbles. “And we just changed it. That can't be right. Uh, shi- um- It's her last tank.” Jasper looks up at Clarke. 

“All the supplemental oxygen is on level five.” Maya said. 

There is a look in Jasper’s eyes that Clarke had never seen before as he turned to Maya. “Then we have to get you to level five.”

“Five isn't safe for any of us.” Maya shook her head as she looked pleadingly at Clarke. 

“We'll take the trash chute again.” Jasper’s hands trembled at his sides as he promised. “It will work.”

“To get in, maybe.” Wells scoffed. His eyes weary as he looked at the others. “Maya's right. Every soldier in this mountain is there. We'll never make it out.”

Jasper looked up to Clarke and begged her with his eyes to help him save Maya. She nodded at him. “We will split up. Get her some more oxygen and get her to Camp Jaha as quickly as possible. There is an airlock there she can stay in until we can get her some treatment. The right way.”

Jasper smiled at her once more, Octavia said that she would go with him to help her. Leaving Monty, Wells and her to head off towards Dante. The guys filled her in on what had been happening since they lost connection with Wells. They opened the door to Dante’s room, and he turned his face up to greet her, his body drawn with exhaustion and regret. 

“Sir, we need your help again.” Wells told him.

Monty assured him that they could talk freely because he took out the camera from the junction box. Dante met them with a rueful face. “No one's watching, anyway. Thanks to you, they're all on level five.”

“You're not.” Clarke pointed out. Her mind whirling, wondering who now was left alive if any of them were. 

“No.” He agreed. “I'm not.”

“Please. We don't have much time.” Wells begged, moving in towards Dante. “We need a way to get our people out of this mountain without killing everyone.”

“He's not gonna help us.” She told Wells; her voice resigned as she turned away. 

“You cut the power, risking the lives of everyone in this mountain” He shouted at her. “My people, even the ones who helped you.”

Clarke rounded on him, furious. “We knew they'd be safe on level five. We made sure not to destroy the turbines so you could repair them. We're the good guys here, not you.”

“Tell me, if we released your people and theirs,” He stood up and moved towards her. Wells stepped up in between us. “what would've happened to mine?”

Clarke turned to Monty. “Can you get us into the command center? We need to see what's happening on level five.” He agreed that it would be no problem. She turned to Dante grasping him by his elbow and hauling him out behind her. “Let's go. You're gonna help us, whether you like it or not.”

They moved quickly through the halls, Wells and Clarke had guns at the ready. “I told you, there's no one here.” Dante said. 

“Sorry if we don't take your word for it.” She bit out as she yanked him to a stop in front of the command center door. “Why aren't you with your people on level five?”

“After what I've done, they can be free.” He shrugged. His tired face turned to her as she watched Monty work on unlocking the door. “I can't. Deliverance comes at a cost. I bear it so they don't have to.”

Wells' voice was appalled. “It wasn't Cage. It was your idea to make the deal with the Grounders.”

Dante nodded as Monty looked up at her. “Got it. We're in.”

“It's clear. He's telling the truth.” Wells said as he scanned the room, pushing Dante towards the corner. 

“Let's get the monitors up.” Clarke told Monty as he sat down at the computer. 

When the monitors came up, she was horrified. Raven was laid down on the table; her arms, legs, neck and torso strapped down. Her screams would echo in Clarke’s head for the rest of her life. “Oh, my god.” She whispered. 

“Is that Raven?” Wells asked, though she could see in his face that he knew it was. She moved in closer to the monitors to look at who was still alive. She saw the faces of her people chained to the wall. Miller and his dad as they leaned towards each other, Kane begging for them to stop. She breathed out heavily as she whispered for her mother. Her words must have spurred Wells because suddenly he was moving towards the radios. He grasped one and moved back towards Dante, a furious look on his face. “Tell them to stop. Now.”

“I won't do that.” Dante stood tall, refusing to look at Wells. 

Clarke moved back towards Wells and took the radio from him. Her voice was sharp when she called into it. “Carl Emerson, Mount Weather Security Detail, come in.”

She watched him look around before he pulled the radio out, “Who is this?”

“You know who it is. Give the radio to the president.” She watched him clench his jaw before he moved back the way he had come from. Monty pulled up another camera on the main monitor, a man in a crisp suit and slicked back hair spoke with Emerson before he grabbed the radio from Emerson. 

“This is President Wallace.” His voice crackled across the radio. 

“I have your father. If you don't let my people go, I'll kill him.” She told him. She watched him move out of the room with her people and into the hallway. Monty switched up the camera again.

“How do I know you have him?” He asked. 

Clarke moved towards Dante, shoving the radio in his face. “Stay the course, Cage.” His voice was wispy.

Clarke could see Cage’s nervous movement on the monitor as he paced the hallway. Telling her that she wouldn’t do it. “You don't know me very well. This ends now. Release my people.”

“I can't do that.” Cage’s voice had a pleading edge to it. 

Dante’s wispy voice was begging her to understand. “It would mean the end of our people, Clarke.”

She tugged at the ends of her hair before turning her gun on Dante. Wells moved closer to her whispering that they needed him. 

“And I need his son to believe me.” She said to Wells before bringing the radio to her mouth and begging Cage to not make her do this. 

“Dad” Cage sounded choked up and Clarke looked to the screen to see him staring up at the camera. “I'll take care of our people.”

“None of us has a choice here, Clarke.” Dante said as he took a step closer to her, where she had backed away to when she pulled the gun. 

There were tears in her eyes when she said, “I didn't want this.” once again raising her gun to him. Dante agreed that he didn’t either, his gaze steady on her but she could see the fear that lingered in his eyes. She pressed the button down on the radio as she placed her finger on the trigger. 

There was regret that filtered through the pain when the bullet hit his chest. The hand holding the radio falling limply to her side. A harsh groan pulled through his lips as blood started to spill out of his body. She was dimly aware that Monty and Wells were looking at her in shock. She turned away from him when his body hit the floor and the warm blood that had been leaking from him started to pool. The tears flooded down her cheeks as she turned away. 

She looked up at the screen to see Cage having a fit in the hallway. She brought the radio back up to her lips. “Listen to me very carefully. I will not stop until my people are free. If you don't let them go, I will irradiate level five. Cage, listen to me. I don't want anyone else to die. Stop the drilling, and we can talk. There must be a way to get us all out of this.”

She watched him turn to move back into the room where they were drilling into her friends. He pulled Emerson aside, gesturing wildly before Emerson nodded and left the room. She turned to Monty. “Emerson is coming for us.”

Wells’ was quick on his feet as always. “They deactivated my key card. Can you do that to his?”

“That one's easy.” Monty said and quickly got to work. 

“The dorm. Monty, can you do it?” Her pain filled eyes meet his. “Can you irradiate the level?”

Monty agreed that he could do it. But it was Wells’ moral dilemma that drew her attention away from Monty who had started to hack their system. “Wait a second, Clarke. We need to think about this. There are kids in there” She agreed with him, but he continued anyway. And people who helped us.”

“Then please give me a better idea.” She turned to him. He stepped back from her as he took in her desperation, tears trickling down her face still. She turned back to the monitors only to watch Cage take Raven off the table before they moved her mother to the table that Raven had just vacated. “What have I done?”

Wells tried to reason with her again as they both watched Abby scream as the drill entered her hip. “Clarke, if we do this, there is no going back.”

She ignored him as she watched her mother writhing in pain. The lack of sound from the keyboard that Monty sat at caught her attention. “Why are you stopping?” She asked, turning to her friend. 

“Because I did it.” He said. The tension at what he’d done was written all over his face. “All we have to do is pull this. Hatches and vents will open, and the scrubbers reverse, pulling in outside air.”

The sound of someone at the door drew her attention back to the monitors and away from her friend’s pain laced face. He told her that they were out of time as she watched Emerson setting charges on the door. Her eyes flicked back towards the screen that held her mother as she moved forward to place her hand on the level. “I have to save them.” She said as she turned her tear stained face to Wells, begging him to understand. He looked just as lost as she felt as she pulled the lever. 

Alarms started to beep; the whirl of the fans paused a moment before she heard them start back up. All over the screens she saw the people of the mountain, clutching at themselves as they started to burn from the radiation. Her heart free falling as she looked at the children who were innocent laying in heaps around level five. 

Movement in the hall caught her attention as she watched Octavia, Jasper and Maya moving towards the exit. She has no way to tell them that Cage was moving in on them as he ran away from what he had done. She watched in horror as Cage rounded the corner that brought him up behind the trio. He was saying something to them before they took off running, Jasper and Maya away from Cage and Octavia towards him. 

Octavia cut off the hand that held the gun but not before Clarke watched a bullet hit Maya in the chest. Octavia’s sword was thrust up through Cage’s soft stomach and he dropped to the ground in a heap. She turned to see that Monty was already gone; running for his friend. 

Clarke closed her eyes away from the sight of what she had caused. “Let's go get our people.” She told Wells, weary from what they had done, a new depth to the hollowness inside her chest opened up. They moved slowly out of the room. Wells was hesitant around her. When they turn the corner to the dorm Kane was helping her mother sit up off the table. “Mom” She called before rushing to her mother’s arms, tears falling again from her eyes. “I tried. I tried to be the good guy.”

“Maybe there are no good guys.” Abby said, tears in her eyes as well. She pulled Clarke’s head to her shoulder as she stroked Clarke’s hair. 

It was hours before they got back to Camp Jaha. She could feel the strain on her body. The people who know what she had done already looked at her like she was a monster. She knew it would only be a matter of time before everyone knew what she had done. Jasper was a mess of pain from the loss of Maya. So many of her people had been injured in the mountain. Wells could hardly look at her and Monty held the tension over him like a blanket.

She trailed the end of the caravan of her people entering Camp Jaha. Her feet slowed the closer they got. She could see Wells ahead standing near the gate watching the rest of their people enter. 

She didn’t realize that Monty had dropped back beside her until she heard his voice. “You did what you had to do, Clarke. Everyone will see that.”

Clarke looked over to him before dropping her eyes to study the ground. “I’m not coming in, Monty. They won’t accept me after this. I need to be away to give them time to come to grips with what happened.”

“Will you come back?” He asked, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He didn’t wait for an answer before he told her. “I don’t feel safe if you’re not around anymore. No one has ever protected me the way you protected us. Even at great personal risk. You will always have a place with me.”

“Thank you, Monty.” She pulled him into a brief hug. Her hand rested on his shoulder as she told him, “May we meet again.” 

He nodded before he moved into the camp, his hands shoved in his pockets once again. Wells moved towards her, his eyes still unable to lock on hers, though his tone tried for lightness. “We'll get through this.”

“I'm not going in.” she said as she sniffled back tears. 

“What? Please come inside.” He turned to look at her now. 

“Take care of them for me.” She shook her head as he tried to interrupt her. “No. Seeing their faces every day is just gonna remind me of what I did to get them here.”

“You don't have to do this alone.” He whispered. 

She looked up at their people, some of them broken and bent from the ordeal they’d just been through, before she looked up at Wells. “I bear it, so they don't have to. May we meet again.” She said before she turned away from her people and wandered off into the woods. She could feel Wells’ eyes on her until the trees hid her from view. Once she had moved far enough away, she found a pocket of Earth to hide herself in. she pulled her jacket tightly around herself and cried until she passed out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay don’t hurt me. This has to happen and Maya has to die.. she has no real place in the story, after this and unfortunately Jasper’s character has limited function in the story from here on out. 
> 
> Don’t worry there will be a Bellarke reunion in the very near future and the story will take a dramatic change from there.


	15. Here’s How It Goes, You and Me, Up and Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No,” she shook her head. “I need more. I need to know there are no loopholes. No way for my people to be left high and dry again. We don’t have enough warriors to defend against any other clan.”
> 
> “Clarke?” She could see his confusion on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go, Chapter 16. Things from here on out are going to change for our main characters, this is where their love story really starts.

In the morning, when Clarke woke up with crusty from crying eyes, she stood up. Moving towards the stream she washed her face, filled her water skein and then took off into the forest. 

\------------

Bellamy couldn’t admit that he cried the night his people were freed. That he’d done what he had to for his people. That he had been responsible for creating Wanheda; for painting a target on Clarke’s back. He told his people not to go near the Sky People, and few wanted to test the wrath of Wanheda. It took weeks before he found out that she had not stayed with her people to heal, she had left on her own and he couldn’t stop the fear that spiked within him at that. 

Only when his sister returned from the mountain to spit her harsh words at him, did he find out what his treachery had caused. What his hand had forced. The Commander’s still praised him for his decision every time he sat at the table, but now they also cautioned him on the power she now had over him. 

They begged him to put a leash on her before she could ruin everything he had worked for. When he found out that Queen Nia had put out bounties on Clarke’s head, he put his best people on it. Lincoln, Octavia, Indra and many others had moved their warriors to trace their lands looking for any hint of her. 

He also sent for Prince Roan, offering him a deal if he went against his mother in exchange for removing his banishment. He knew that Roan, provided proper motivation, would be his best option for finding her quickly, quietly and still alive. 

\------------

She ran for weeks, occasionally coming by the forest where her people were; just to check in, she told herself. They were training so far as she could tell; hunting well, healing well without her. She also found herself in the outskirts of Grounder villages, trying to learn their language better. She’d always had an ear for languages, so it came far easier than she would have expected. 

After the first month, she started to hear whispers around the Grounder villages. They sounded almost worshipful in nature; they spoke of Wanheda. It took two more weeks for her to understand that they believed Wanheda was a commander of death. By the end of the second month, she had been sure that they believed she was Wanheda. 

The thought that they might have been right. That she was a commander of death after the amount of death she’d dealt in, brought the nightmares more fiercely to her every night. She had to move further away from any camps than she had to before, in case she woke up screaming. 

In the third month, she found out that she was being hunted. It took several more days to find out that Azgeda wanted her, and that Bellamy himself had people looking for her. When she found that out, she started to color her hair with the berries that still grew as the seasons turned cooler. 

With her hair colored she felt safe enough to venture into the trading post at the edge of Trikru territory. Her kill from the morning, dragging behind her feet. The blonde woman who was quite beautiful, helped her, as she had done every time Clarke had ventured into their store. Even with her hair colored, Clarke still kept her hood up, speaking only in Trigedasleng. 

This time as she waited for her kill to be processed, three bounty hunters entered the trading post. She turned away from them, pretending to be looking closely at the stuff on the shelves that faced away from the door, pulling her hood tighter around her face. 

Niylah stood tall as two of the imposing men filed closer to her. “You got something to trade?” she asked as the third man started to wander her store. 

Clarke watched as the taller of the two men unfolded a piece of paper asking if Niylah had seen the woman in the drawing. She tried to round the corner of the shelving to get a look at the picture but the third man had his eyes on her. 

“That's not a very good likeness.” Niylah said, drawing all three men’s eyes to her. 

The man who had been trailing the store asked. “Then you have seen her.”

She nodded to them. “She was here two days ago. She said she was going north following Eden's Pass.”

The third man thanked her telling her that she had been more helpful than she could imagine before following the two other men who had already hurried out of the trading post, but not before looking back at Clarke. Once the store was clear of the grounders, she asked Niylah how long she’d known that she was Wanheda.

“How long have you been coming here?” She asked with a raised eyebrow. When Clarke moved to exit the trading post, Niylah stopped her. “I would wait. Give them a chance to clear out. Have a drink.”

“Why are you helping me?” Clarke asked while watching as Niylah poured her drink.

“My mother was taken by the Mountain. You ended the reaping.” She said simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

Later when Niylah was handing Clarke her the filled pack, her hand brushed against Clarke’s shoulder which drew a hiss from Clarke. She dropped the bag and told Clarke to remove her jacket so she could look at it. 

Sighing, Clarke took her jacket off and allowed Niylah to clean the wound she had received from her hunt earlier. As Niylah’s hand brushed over her skin she said, “No kill marks.”

Clarke’s stomach soured as she turned to look at Niylah over her shoulder. “My back's not big enough.”

“Tell me about the Mountain.” Niylah prompted when Clarke said nothing further. 

“There's nothing to tell.” She shrugged, pulling away from Niylah to put her jacket back on. “I did what I had to do, that's all.”

“That's all? You killed our greatest enemy. You wiped them out by yourself.” Niylah scoffed at her. 

“I have nothing else to say on the matter. I will be back with another kill in a few days.” Clarke turned, grabbing her pack and exited the trading post. 

As she closed the door behind her, she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand at attention moments before she felt the cold bite of metal on her neck and the hot wash of breath on her neck. His raspy voice whispered. “Hello Wanheda.”

His large hands reached around to grasp at her hand, bringing a loop of rope around one wrist before removing the knife from her neck and grabbing her other hand. He dragged her off into the forest in the dead of night and fear stabbed her stomach. 

He dragged her for miles over the rocky terrain that skirted Trikru territory. They walked until the sky lightened and then they walked further. She dragged her heels the whole time, she saw a river just up ahead and knew that this was her chance to escape, if there ever was one. Clarke started to stagger her steps; tilting wildly from side to side before falling to the ground, eyes lightly shut as if she had passed out. 

“On your feet. Looks like the great Wanheda is human after all.” The man said before he nudged her with his foot. She kept her body relaxed and tried not to let her steady breathing falter. She felt the rope around her wrists go lax. She peered through slanted eyes to see him drinking at the stream just below her feet as she had hoped he would. 

She waited just a moment before she launched herself at his back bringing her bound hands over his head and leaning back to put pressure on his larynx, her knees digging into his back, pressing him into the water. 

Clarke held him there until he stopped moving and then for a moment more. She’d barely had a chance to catch her breath before he launched out of the water and pulled her into it, shoving her under until she thought she was going to drown. Then suddenly he was pulling her up out of the water and she was gasping for air. She could see the water running red around her from the berry coloring washing away.

“Now that’s better.” He said, as he pulled her out of the water. 

She looked more clearly at his face as his wet brown hair slicked back on his head. “You’re Ice Nation.”

“Roan.” His smile was smug as he grabbed the rope and yanked her forward again, almost off her feet.

More hours passed as she was dragged along the path, never slowing his pace, not until he could barely keep his own feet under him. When that happened, he’d tie her to the nearest tree to catch a couple hours of sleep. So many days passed in this fashion that she wasn’t sure that he wasn’t entirely lost. 

Midday about a week after she’d been captured, he had stopped at the edge of the field as he pulled her down to look at the men moving through the tall grass. “Quiet. Ice Nation scouts. Come on, we’ll backtrack, then we go around.”

She turned to him and quirked an eyebrow before opening her mouth and screaming. 

“Their deaths are on you.” He said before standing; coiling her rope around his hand loosely after pulling a bag over her head. “Easy. I don’t want trouble.”

She didn’t listen closely to him as he conversed with the scouts; one of them roughly pulling the bag off her head. Her eyes darted around looking for an escape route when he finally let go of her rope. Suddenly she was yanked off balance before he moved into fight the two men closest to him. 

Clarke stumbled to her feet and started running, tripping over her tired feet as she scurried away. The sound of his scuffle chased her for moments before the huffing of one of the scouts met her ears. She didn’t look back, knowing it would take precious seconds that she didn’t have, in her exhaustion. The unexpected weight of the scout dropped her to the ground. She didn’t realize he was dead until she felt the trickle of blood over her shoulder as it poured from his mouth. 

She heard someone’s steps approaching her right as she saw the knife just in front of her fingers. Grabbing the knife, she tensed as the person neared her. Her eyes slid closed as his voice met her ears. “Didn’t have to be this way.”

He rolled the dead man off her, grabbing the rope that still bound her hands and lifted her to her knees. Swinging out with the knife in her hands she stabbed him in the stomach before pulling back and driving it towards his face. Only to have him stop her and turn the knife against her throat quicker than she had expected.

His intense eyes stared into hers, the knife not wavering from her skin. “If you were gonna kill me you would have done it already.” She breathed. 

“There’s still time.” He bit back before dropping the knife. 

\------------

Indra raced into his room, pulling him from his conference with the other commanders, only offering a token apology for interrupting. “Heda, Ice Nation has crossed the border. They are marching this way. 

He stood up and moved towards Indra. “How do you know?”

“I was with the Sky People, looking for Wanheda and we saw their warriors marching. I came right here.” He leaned in at the mention of Clarke, his heart racing in his chest at the mere thought of her. 

He straightened out when he realized what he had done unintentionally, with a cough to cover his discomfort. “And did you find her?” 

“Yes, Heda.” She bowed to him. “The Sky People were closing in on her when I left them, she had been captured but I’m sure that they will get her back.”

“And how many warriors did Nia send.” He moved toward the map on his desk. “Where are they at?”

“A full contingent.” Indra’s solemn eyes met his and he sucked in a sharp breath.

\------------

Roan pulled her along more slowly than before, his hand clutching his side where she had stabbed him. He stumbled forward onto a stone pillar that stood outside a set of stairs. “Scream again and we’ll both be dead” He hissed at her as he dragged her down the stairs. 

  
  


Once they had descended into the cavern, Roan shoved her harshly against a pillar inside and tied her down before he started a fire. She watched him as he stripped his jacket and shirt off to expose his wound. He clenched his teeth as he wiped the blood away. When he set his knife into the fire, she realized what he was about to do.

“Another inch and I’d be dead. Maybe you’re not the Commander of Death after all.” He said before pressing the knife to his wound. “Now she’s quiet.”

“Why are you hiding from your own people?” She queried; her eyebrows bunched in confusion.

“Why’d you run away from yours?” He squatted down in front of her, looking over her with a critical eye. “The great Wanheda. Mountain slayer.”

She flinched at the name. “I’m no one.”

“Lots of people out there right now looking for no one.” He said, ignoring her comment. 

“You’re obviously not loyal to the Ice Nation, so why are you taking me there?” She tried to reason with him. “Look, whatever the Ice Queen is giving you, my people will offer you more.”

“Doubt that.” He snorted before standing up and pacing away from her. “Not for someone who abandoned them.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” She hissed in outrage. 

“I know you took the coward’s way out.” He argued back with a smug smile on his face. 

Clarke turned her head away from him, unable to meet his eyes. “Like you’re so different. You’re in disguise, same as me. You’re on the run, same as me. In the wilderness, same as me.”

“I was banished. Nothing like you. You had a choice. And no, I can’t take you home to your people because you’re the way back home to mine.” He moved towards her pulling the gag back into her mouth and left the cavern. Leaving her alone to stew in her own thoughts. 

She was alone in the cavern for a couple hours before she heard slow, almost hesitant footsteps. She dropped her head and slowed her breathing and lightly closed her eyes. When she saw the feet breach her line of sight, suddenly they started to move faster. When she heard Wells' voice call her name quietly she looked up tears in her eyes. 

“I’ll get you out of here.” He said as he pulled the gag from her mouth.

A movement on the stairs caught Clarke by surprise and she barely had time to tell Wells to “Look out!” before Roan had jumped on him, dropping him to the ground pressing his knife to his throat.

“Please don’t. I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting. Just please don’t kill him.” She yelled to Roan as tears dribbled down her face. He looks at her for a moment before he pulls the knife away from his throat. She heaved out a “Thank you.” moments before he drove the knife into Wells’ leg. 

Roan kicked him in the ribs. “Don’t follow us.” he said before he cut the bonds holding her to the pillar and dragging her out of the cavern. 

\------------

Bellamy watched Roan lead Clarke into the throne room with his heart in his throat, a bag over her head and angry red burns on her wrists from the rope she was being dragged by. 

“Wanheda, as promised.” Roan’s gruff voice reached his ears, but his eyes were trained on the girl in front of him. When the bag came off her head, he saw the gag in her mouth and the angry set of her stormy eyes. He stood from his seat and moved slowly down from his throne.

“Hello, Clarke.” He said, trying to keep the regret and longing out of his voice. He turned to Roan when he saw the trail the tears had made in the dirt on her face “The deal was for you to bring her to me unharmed.”

Roan bowed but Bellamy could see the dissonance in his stiff body. “She didn’t come easy.”

“I expect not.” Bellamy hummed in agreement as he looked at Roan’s disheveled state and the blood that stained his shirt if he was not mistaken. 

“I’ve done my part, now do yours’. Lift my banishment.” Roan growled at Bellamy’s distracted face. 

His eyes flashed with frustration at the Azgeda Prince. “I’m told your mother’s army marches on Polis.”

“That has nothing to do with me.” The outrage was easy to see on Roan’s face as he dropped the volume of his voice. “Honor our deal.”

“I’ll honor our deal when your Queen honors my coalition. Lock Prince Roan of Azgeda away.” He said as he turned away from him to move in towards Clarke. The guards hauling Roan out of the room.

“Help her up.” He said as the remaining guards moved closer to them. They pulled her to her feet but did not move far from him. “Leave us.” Bellamy watched the guards move to stand outside the doors and Titus and Indra left him after looks of concern were thrown his way. 

“I’m sorry.” He reached out tentatively to pull the gag from her mouth. He let his fingers trail softly down her face. His fingers tingling from the contact “It had to be this way. I had to ensure Wanheda didn’t fall into the hands of the Ice Queen. War is brewing, Clarke. I need you.”

She pulled back from him, shaking her head slightly as the rage behind her eyes built up. He shuffled after her slightly as if pulled by a magnet. Suddenly, though his eyes had not left her face he was startled by the spit that launched from her mouth and landed on his cheek. 

The screech that came from her was feral sounding. “You bastard!” The guards came rushing forward to grab her but that didn’t stop her angry tirade. “You wanted the Commander of Death, you got her. I’ll kill you.”

He turned his stunned face away from her as she was dragged from the room. He moved toward the balcony of his throne room as he absently wiped his face. Setting his elbows on the railing before letting his head hang onto his forearms. 

He didn’t know how long he stood there before he felt someone put the palm of their hand softly between his shoulder blades, rubbing gently. He didn’t look up until he heard his sister’s soft voice calling his name. 

He felt like he could cry. If he wasn’t the commander, he might’ve allowed himself to do just that. Instead he said. “I’ve ruined any hope I have of keeping this coalition alive. And myself with it.” He turned back to the skyline in front of him. Ignoring any further queries his sister made. 

\------------

Clarke sat, staring blankly at the window of her prison. Hours passed before anyone entered, the door opening tentatively. She could still feel the tingle of his touch on her face. She wouldn’t allow her traitorous body to move to look at who had entered. Locking down on everything in case it was him, back to torment and confuse her further. 

“Clarke?” Clarke clenched her eyes at the soft question in the Grounder’s voice. She heard the feet move closer to her, but she still didn’t turn. She shook her head. “Clarke, look at me.” 

“I can’t, Octavia.” She sighed, keeping her unfocused eyes on the window. It was Octavia’s turn to sigh as she asked why not. “I know why you are here. I can’t -” she paused to correct herself. “won’t see him.”

“That’s not w-” She cut Octavia off with a raised hand. 

“Please?” She begged. “I know you stayed and tried to help. I know you went against your brother but I jus- just can’t.” 

“Clarke, I-” Octavia stopped on her own as if she didn’t quite know what to say.

She finally pulled her gaze from the window to look down at her raw wrists. “Unless you are here to let me out. Please leave. Wanheda,” She paused with a shudder at the name before biting out the rest of her words. “Wanheda is dangerous. I’m dangerous.”

She heard Octavia’s feet move towards the door. “This look isn’t becoming on you, Clarke. This isn’t a prison. Washing may just make you feel more like yourself.” Her feet moved her further. “And Clarke? He cares. He regrets making that choice. Not because your people had to suffer. But because you are suffering.”

She heard the door click shut before she registered her anger. Her hands grabbing the flimsy chair she had been sitting in and flinging it across the room to crash against a wall. 

\------------

Clarke’s eyes flickered to the door in time to see him enter before moving back to gaze out the window she stood in front of. This was more than what she had been offering according to Octavia, Lincoln and Indra. 

The bite of her words made him flinch “What part of "I won't see you" was unclear?”

“I respected your wishes for a week, Clarke.” He could hear his own frustration leaking into his words. “We've got bigger concerns.”

“"We" don't have any concerns at all.” She said. He could hear her teeth grinding in her jaw.

He pushed a hard breath past his lips, his hand coming up to rub against the back of his neck “Yes, we do. I'm hosting a summit with Skaikru at sundown. You'll be returned to your people.”

She snorted. “You went to all that trouble to capture me just to let me go?” 

“Yes, no, I- damn it, Clarke. I went to all that trouble to save you.” He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. His hands drumming on the windowsill in front of them. 

“You know when I could use saving?” Her tone was caustic, but her eyes still refused to look at him. “When you abandoned me at Mount Weather.”

“Clearly, you didn't need my help.” His own tone coming back just as caustic as his hands clutched at the sill. 

“Clearly.” She agreed. 

He took in a deep breath, ready to try a different tactic. “You're angry, Clarke, but I know you. What you've done haunts you, and it's easier to hate me than to hate yourself.”

“Oh, I can do both.” She said. It was clear to him that she could see just how she was affecting him, and she was looking for any other button she could press. 

“What would you have done if their leader had offered you the deal: Save your people at the price of mine? Would you really have chosen differently?” He pressed. Needing her to see where he was coming from. 

She snorted again, but her eyes finally met his. “I don't betray my friends.”

“But you did.” He whispered; his eyes trapped by hers. “You had friends in Mount Weather.”

“Those deaths are on you, too.” She said. Her eyes turned back out the window. Only then did he notice the lines of stress all over her body, rounding her shoulders forward. “The only difference is, you have no honor, and I had no choice.”

“Clarke,” He paused, pulling in a steadying breath. “If you need forgiveness, I’ll give you that. You are forgiven. But you're right. I'm not just letting you go back to your people. I want something more.” He pulled in another steadying breath to keep himself from saying what his heart wanted. “I want your people to become my people. I'm offering Skaikru the chance to join my coalition, become the 13th Clan. No one would dare to move against you because that would be moving against me.”

“Just leave me alone. I'm done. Do you understand that? I left.” She sounded so defeated. His hand unintentionally reached out to lightly grasp her elbow. 

His thumb started tracing light circles on her soft skin “You can't run away from who you are, Clarke. Join me and your people will be safe.”

“You don't give a damn about my people. I know why you're here. I made you look weak at Mount Weather, and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well, if you want the power of Wanheda, kill me. Take it. Otherwise, go float yourself because I will never bow to you.” Her explosion of anger pulled her away from him, before she curled back in on herself. 

“I couldn’t kill you even if I wanted too. Think about it, Clarke.” He said quietly before leaving the room. 

He strode down the hall to the elevator taking it up to the top level. He moved quickly to the throne room, his frustration with the blonde a few levels below making his movement jerky. 

Titus’ voice rang out clear and sharp, drawing him back to the room in front of him. “Rise for your Commander.” Bellamy turned around after he reached his throne to see all the ambassadors bowing except Ice Nation. Titus rounded on the smug man. “Ice Nation will bow before your Commander.”

“The Commander should bow before Ice Nation. We know not to make treaties with our enemies.” He said, swaggering forward. 

“The Commander bows before no one.” Titus moved forward in front of Bellamy. 

“Stand down, Titus.” Bellamy said and the thin man moved back to the side of Bellamy’s throne. 

The Azgeda ambassador turned to look at the others with a taunting tone. “He even prefers the enemy’s language.”

“And you will use it, too, in honor of our guests this evening. Now sit. We have more important matters to discuss.” Bellamy gestured for the man to sit, but he ignored him, his smug face staring at Bellamy. 

“Yes, we do. For example, why is Wanheda still alive?” His voice was patronizing as he turned back to the other ambassadors again. “If this is your weakness again, Azgeda will happily step in.”

“Is that why your army has moved so close to Polis because you believe the Commander is weak?” Titus stepped forward; his voice low. 

“Oh, those are just military exercises.” The Azgedan man shrugged sounding as if he were discussing the weather. 

“Exercises?” Indra sputtered as she stood from her seat. “You crossed the border into Trikru land, an army within striking distance of our beloved capital.”

The pompous man nodded; his face pulled into a sneer at her. “A mistake that was quickly rectified, as you well know.”

“The Ice Queen doesn't make mistakes. She makes threats.” Titus, unable to stop, moved into the man’s space. 

“There's no need to argue about this again.” Bellamy moved off to the side, his hand opened wide, invitingly. Trying to keep his face neutral even though anger pulsed through him. “Please come join me. Let us speak in private. I have a message for Queen Nia.”

Bellamy moved them out onto the balcony letting the Azgeda ambassador move slightly ahead of him. “And I'll happily deliver-” The man started before Bellamy kicked the man over the edge that held no railing. His scream echoed up into the throne room. 

The nervous tittering of the other ambassadors met his ears as he walked back into the room. “Would anyone else care to question my decisions?” He looked at them. None of them willing to meet his eyes. “Good. Then let's begin.”

\------------

The musky smell of the Azgedan Prince greeted her before he shuffled closer to her. She arched an eyebrow at him. “Well, if it isn't the Prince of Azgeda.”

“Don't be fooled.” He said in a low voice. “I'm a prisoner here, same as you.”

“You're the reason I'm a prisoner here.” She rounded on him with furious eyes. She couldn’t believe that he and the audacity to even try to compare their situations. 

“Relax, Wanheda.” The humor in his voice was just as grating as Bellamy’s regret had been. “I'm here to help you.”

She snorted. “Sure, you are.”

“Commander promised to lift my banishment if I delivered you safely. He broke our deal. I'm willing to strike a new one with you so we can both go home.” He shuffled closer to her, his voice dropping lower. 

“Joke’s on you.” She told him; her voice just as low. “I'm already going home.”

His head turned so he was talking into her hair. She had to lock down every muscle to keep from flinching. “Then you won't have a chance to get what you really want.” 

“What would you know about what I want?” She asked, dragging her body further from him. 

“I saw the look on your face when I took that hood off.” A smile played on his lips. “You want revenge.” 

“You want him dead?” She would be dead if she admitted that she didn’t think she could kill him. “So, kill him.” 

“You can get close. I can't. You'll find a knife under your bed when you return to your room. I've already bought enough of the guards to get you out of here. If you do this, Azgeda will take control of the coalition, and you'll find a strong and grateful ally in the Ice Queen.” He promised as his eyes raked over her body, making her uncomfortable. 

She pulled further away from him, crossing her arms over her body. “And why should I trust her? From what I hear, she's worse than Bellamy.”

“That's because you've been talking to him. Look.” He huffed before he closed in on her again. “We're all trying to do what's right for our people. This is what's right for yours.”

\------------

The thump of wooden stakes echo, the concussion vibrated up his arm as Aden pressed forward. “Good, Aden. Again.” The thump of the stakes sounded off again when suddenly his hand almost lost the stake, surprising him. 

“They're here.” Titus called to him. “Night bloods. Pair up and continue training.”

Bellamy turned to Titus as the steady thump of stakes sounded off again. “Aden is ready. He's even better than I was before my conclave.” They turned to look at the tower that stood tall as a beacon to their people. “You still think the summit is a bad idea.”

“You mean well, Heda.” He turned to look at Bellamy as he sucked on his teeth. “But now is not the time for good intentions. Your enemies are circling. Queen Nia moves against you. Our focus should be there. Instead, you antagonize her further by offering the Skaikru a seat at your table.”

“I will not let the fear of war dictate our agenda.” He continued to gaze at Polis. 

“Why are you doing this?” Titus’ voice turned pleading. “Sky People are here to negotiate a treaty, not join the coalition. They didn't ask for this. Not one of the 12 Clans will accept it.”

“They will accept it.” He turned to Titus. “When they see Wanheda bow before me.”

Titus’ face turned confused. “She won't even see you, yet everything you do elevates her. Why?”

Bellamy turned to face Titus and said. “Clarke elevates herself. She's special.”

“You're special, Heda. I've been the Fleimkepa for 4 commanders. No one has done what you have. We are so close to our goal. If you want the power of Wanheda, you know what must be done. You strike her down. Kill her. Take her power.” Titus’ voice had a hardened, frantic edge to it.

Bellamy turned to leave. “I’ll hear no more of that Titus.” He said; his voice was final. 

\------------

Clarke turned the knife over and over in her hands. They trembled as quickly as her thoughts raced. She was so angry at him but the thought of hurting him, hurt her. She had to do this though, didn’t she? For her people, so he couldn’t betray them again. Couldn’t toss them in front of a war like chattel. 

The door to her room opened and he walked in. She didn’t turn to look at him, but she let her hands drop to the side, concealing the knife by her thigh. 

“You wanted to see me?” He questioned as he walked closer to her. “I'm here. Clarke”

She rounded on him, cutting him off from saying anything further. Shoved him against the wall, bringing the knife up to his throat as she stared at him. His eyes danced back and forth between hers. His expression softened as he brought his large hands to rest on her hips. He was not afraid.

“I'm sorry” He whispered to her and that was enough to deflate her entirely. Tears welled up and gently fell over onto her cheeks. Her hand fell to her side and the knife clattered to the ground. Her head falling forward to land on his chest. She felt one of his hands leave her hip to come up and rest against the back of her head, his thumb stroking lightly. “I never meant to turn you into this. You're free to go. Your mother is here. I'll have you escorted to her.”

He pulled away from her and her heart lurched as he started to walk towards the door. “Wait. I have a better idea, but I need something more if I’m to bow to you in front of everyone.”

He turned back to look at her, his hope earnest on his face. “Of course, your people will become the 13th clan.” 

“No,” she shook her head. “I need more. I need to know there are no loopholes. No way for my people to be left high and dry again. We don’t have enough warriors to defend against any other clan.”

“Clarke?” She could see his confusion on his face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, because I’ve had a couple messages and comments I feel like I need to address why Bellamy has stayed very close to the Lexa storyline in this fic.
> 
> 1) The original storyline Bellamy and Clarke don’t like each other at first. Nor are they even remotely fascinated with each other in the beginning. 
> 
> 2) the underlying storyline doesn’t work if I take some of these parts out. You can’t get from season 1 to season 3 without them having this to build. 
> 
> 3) Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship will always be based in forgiveness because it’s who they are, individually and together. They can’t have that if they don’t fall apart sometimes.
> 
> 4) and without him betraying her like Lexa did, without her going down that road to become Wanheda she can’t be who she needs to be to survive primfiya. 
> 
> 5) unfortunately because of where this story is headed I need them both to be strong in their convictions in order to be the people they need to be.
> 
> 6) Bellamy has to be more logical because he’s not alone in his head. I have to believe that if Lexa were truly as cold as she seemed, Clarke would never have fallen in love with her. Therefore because Bellamy is the commander his decision making process isn’t a independent process like it would be otherwise. Can he make his own decisions? Sure he can I think I’ve showed that already but I’m not convinced that the other commanders -especially sheidheda - let that go easily. 
> 
> Much love. 
> 
> Kudos and comments always welcome. Hope this clears up any confusion as to why I stayed so close to the Clexa storyline so far.


	16. We’ll Get It Right, Worth The Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He may be good but he still human.” She bit back, frustrated with their archaic and violent rules. 
> 
> Octavius sighed. “And so is Roan.” 
> 
> “Exactly.“ Clarke exclaimed “And I can’t trust my people to the outcome of a fight between two humans that are not infallible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait you guys. I got hurt this week and that kept me from being able to write. But here we are chapter 16, I hope you enjoy!

“Let me through.” She said to the guards standing outside of the room that held her mother and Kane. 

They mumbled back to her in Trigedasleng as they bowed to her. One pulled the door open as she moved in closer. She heard Kane’s voice reassuring her mother; she walked forward as they turned around. Her mother rushed over to her to hold Clarke’s face in her hands. 

Clarke gave her mother a moment to look her over before she put her hand on her arms to pull them away from her face. “I have something to tell you, and we don't have much time.”

Before Clarke could open her mouth again, Abby interrupted. “Wait a minute. Just let me look at you.”

“We'll have plenty of time to catch up once we get back home.” Kane soothed. Clarke winced a little bit before she could meet Kane or her mother’s eyes. 

She pulled back further from them. “The Commander's changing the terms of the summit.”

“Is this because of Mount Weather?” Kane asked. 

She raised her eyebrow at him but shook her head. “This is because of the Ice Nation. They want Bellamy dead. They want to take over the coalition.”

“That's Bellamy’s concern, not ours.” Abby sounded frustrated. Clarke noted her mother’s arms unconsciously reaching for her. 

“No, Abby. If he falls, the Coalition shatters, and there's no way we avoid that war.” He put his hand on her mother’s shoulder, stroking his thumb over her back, soothing Abby. He turned to Clarke. “You said there were new terms?”

“Yes, we become the 13th Clan.” She hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to tell them the rest. 

“13th Clan? What does that mean,” Her mother scoffed. “that we follow Bellamy?”

She nodded. “Yes, but there is more.” 

“ _ More _ ?” Her mother’s look mirrored the look she gave Clarke when she was little and in trouble. But she didn’t fear her mother any longer. She only feared her people getting hurt. “We came here to negotiate a treaty.”

“This is our Unity Day, Mom.” She shrugged. “You can be the 13th station, or you can be the 13th Clan.”

Kane spoke up, agreeing with her. “Clarke's right. I've seen the Ice Nation army, and we don't stand a chance against them. We need to do this.”

“So, we become the 13th Clan. Then what? What's gonna stop the Ice Nation?” Her mother asked, resigned. 

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment before looking back at them. “Wanheda.”

“No, I won’t risk you, Clarke.” Her mother shot forward, grabbing her arms. 

“No, you don’t get to make that choice for me any longer,  _ Mother _ .” She pulled away from her mother. Her eyes narrowed at her mother. “But, as I was saying before, there is more. I’m going to marry him. The terms are set and agreed upon, He could no more turn us over to the wolves that he could his sister or his clan.” 

Her mother’s hands shot up to her mouth, her hands trembling as she stared at Clarke. “Clarke, No! No, I won’t let you do this.”

“It’s done, today we will become the 13th clan and within a fortnight I will marry him, and we will be one people. He will have Wanheda at his disposal.” She couldn’t stop the shake from hitting her words. “It will strengthen him for them to see me bound to him and no one will dare attack him or us after our union.”

Tears leaked on to her mother’s cheeks. “But Clarke, what about you? What about falling in love? That is what marriage is supposed to be. Why do you have to do this?”

“Because it can be no one else.” She turned away; they didn’t have much time and she told them as much again. “You will need to process this quickly. It will be announced at the assembly this evening and I can’t have you throwing a fit when that happens.”

She could feel Kane’s sad eyes on her back and her mother’s desire to run after her almost overwhelmed her. She closed her eyes briefly, locking away her desire to just be a kid again. To be the Clarke that she was before her father had found the problem with the oxygen system. 

\------------

Clarke was a vision when she walked in. Her hair done up in intricate braids, pulling her soft face into sharp focus. Her blue eyes heavily lined with kohl. The tight leather showed off her curvy form. She moved closer to him as all the eyes in the room followed her; his eyes were unable to leave hers as she approached. 

His mind raced as his eyes traced over her. He would get what he wanted with her and none of the commanders could see fault in her logic. The rest of his people could not see this as a weak move towards her. He would own her completely and they would see him command the commander of death. It wouldn’t be the way he wanted. He wasn’t her chosen, but the rest would remain the same. 

He would be lying if he hadn’t noticed her hesitant attraction to him. Maybe once they were married, he could prove to her that he would love her, and she could trust him with her heart. For now, he would have to settle with just having her attraction and a politically advantageous marriage. His thoughts trailed slowly down the rabbit hole of his desire as she bowed before him. 

When her head pulled back up and her eyes met his, he was forced to draw in a steadying breath before he could turn to address the rest of the room. He noticed that the rest of the room had also kneeled at some point while his eyes were locked on Clarke, His Sky Princess. “Hail warriors of the 12 Clans.” He greeted the room.

“Hail, Commander of the Blood.” The room chanted back to him. He lifted his hands and allowed them to rise to their feet. Clarke stood up and moved to stand behind him in the place where a person in power’s chosen would traditionally take. There was a murmur of surprise that shook the room.

“We welcome Skaikru to our halls in the spirit of friendship and harmony, and we welcome Clarke kom Skaikru, the Legendary Wanheda, Mountain Slayer. The reason for this summit has changed. We are not here to negotiate a treaty with the Skaikru, but rather to initiate them into the coalition. And also, to announce that Wanheda is submitting to a union with me. In a fortnight we shall be wed as our ancient covenant dictates with warring clans.” The clamoring got louder, some stunned and some excited. “To symbolize this union, the leader of Skaikru must bear our mark.”

Clarke’s mother looked to Marcus, allowing him to take the mark of the commander. He moved forward towards Bellamy. “Present your arm.” He told Marcus who pulled up the sleeve of his shirt. 

The smell of burnt flesh had barely cleared the room when a commotion outside the hall was heard and Wells, Monroe and some other people from their camp rushed through the door. Clarke’s questioning voice hit his ears as she called out to Wells.

“What is the meaning of this?” Titus shouted as he crossed in front of Bellamy and Clarke. 

“The summit's a trap.” Wells looked at Clarke, Bellamy followed his line of sight to her. “We need to get you out of here.”

Clarke turned to look at him, her eyebrows nearing the middle of her forehead. “What the hell is going on?”

“I don't know.” He said as he turned back towards the group that had intruded, weapons in hand. 

“It's the Ice Nation.” Wells said as he lowered his gun to his side, looking around the room. 

“These allegations are an outrage.” The new Azgeda Ambassador stepped forward. “The Ice Nation never stormed this summit with weapons, breaking our laws. That was the Skaikru.”

“We're right about this.” An older black man stepped forward, an angry glare on his face. “The two guards you left behind are dead already. We need to go now.”

“How did you come by this information?” Bellamy asked. 

Monroe turned to examine their party. “Where the hell is Echo?” She asked, turning back towards Wells. 

Kane stepped forward to pull the gun from Wells' hand. “Stand down.”

A grainy feminine voice came across the radio strapped to Wells’ hip. “Wells, come in. The Grounders attacked Mount Weather.”

“What are you talking about?” Wells asked, pulling the radio towards his mouth. 

“They’re gone.  _ Gone _ .” The tinny voice sounded like it was crying. “They're all gone. Sinclair and I are the only ones left.” 

The Azgedan Ambassador moved, drawing his eyes. “You should have never moved your people back into Mount Weather.” He taunted. “The Ice Nation did what Bellamy was too weak to do.”

“This is an act of war. Sentries, arrest the Ice Nation delegation, including the prince.” He shouted. Bellamy turned to Abby and Marcus when they expressed their fears of who might be next. “Go. Marshal your forces. We'll avenge the attack together. Clarke will be safe here under my protection.”

Wells turned to Clarke and looked like he wanted to argue but her soft voice saying, “I have to stay.” turned him away with a snap of his jaw before he exited. 

Titus called out to Bellamy as he turned to leave the hall. “Come on, Heda. We must convene the war council immediately.” Clarke told him that she would join him shortly after he brushed his fingertips lightly over her’s. He saw her hug her mother and she quietly offered some words to Marcus before Wells drew her off to the side for a moment. He had barely left the room when Clarke moved back to his side, her fingertips brushing his just as lightly as he had brushed her’s earlier.

\------------ 

The war council drug on for hours, they seemed to be talking circles around each other as they tried to define the best course of action. Bellamy kept turning his eyes to her as if looking for her input on their suggestions, to which she had none. She was not well versed in war, though it had probably looked that way from the outside. She could offer nothing without more information on what Queen Nia had in place already. 

Almost as if reading her mind, Bellamy dismissed the rest of the room with a quick, “Let me know as soon as the scouts come back.”

She turned away from the table and moved off to the window to stare out at the stars in the sky. She heard Titus mumble something to Bellamy as she felt his eyes drag over her back in a condescending manner. Either Bellamy didn’t reply, or it was quiet enough that her ears didn’t catch it. She did, however, hear a pair of feet leave the room and the low thud of the heavy doors closing before another set of feet moved closer. 

Clarke turned around to look at Bellamy as he moved in closer to her. She noted that they were alone for the first time since they both agreed that a marriage would give them both the security they needed. “I keep asking myself, "how did the Grounders know there was another entry point inside Mount Weather?"” She said just to fill the silence. 

“We'll get the answer soon, Clarke.” His hand came up to brush an errant hair off her cheek before cupping the back of her neck. His voice dropped into a whisper. “Thank you for staying.”

“I stayed because it was the right thing for my people.” She shook her head denying that this was for him, for them. Though if she allowed herself to examine her confused feelings for the man in front of her, who captured her eyes and kept her from turning away, she couldn’t deny she didn’t want him to be hurt because of her. 

“Our people.” He corrected. “They will be our people.”

“If you betray me again” She started to warn but wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. 

“I won't. I can’t.” He promised. She watched him drop down on his knees in front of her. His head bowed as hers had been earlier, her hands clasped in his, pressed to his forehead. “I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.” 

Clarke’s eyes stung at the honesty in his voice. She couldn’t get her mouth to spit out any words, but her hand moved to gently tilt his head up to look at her. His hand moved over her’s as their eyes embraced, dragging it to press a light kiss to the center of her palm. He stood, moving in close to her as he pressed her palm back to his cheek. 

“I know this marriage isn’t what you want, Clarke.” He towered over her but for the first time she didn’t feel like he was attempting to intimidate her. “But I do promise to treat you and your people well. I know that we have to be strategic about how we present ourselves to our people in public, but this will be a real marriage for me. A partnership. I don’t want to take more from you than you are willing to give.”

“I know.” She said, brushing her thumb over his cheekbone from under his hand that still pressed hers against his face. “I believe you.”

They stared at each other for a moment before she rose up on her toes to gently brush her lips against his before pulling back. His own chasing her’s as she retreated, his eyes drooping as he pressed his lips back to her’s. His hand traveled slowly up her arm to the back of her neck as his other hand dropped from her face to rest against her lower back. She moved both of her hands to the back of his neck gently scratching her nails against the nape of his neck. 

The kiss was gentle, there was no rush of nervous passion that had been present the last time she had tasted his soft lips. He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, sharing his breath with her. Her whole body shivered at the wrecked expression on his face. 

“I’m so sorry, Clarke.” He breathed against her lips before he placed another chaste kiss on her lips, his nose gently bumping her’s. “So, so sorry.”

She nodded allowing her nose to trace his as she did. “I know.”

He pulled back to look in her eyes. “Clarke?”

“I forgive you, Bellamy.” The relief he felt swept over her, stumbled her. Had he not pulled her against his chest her legs might’ve given out. He rocked them gently for a moment, laying his cheek against the crown of her head. She whispered. “I don’t want to be Wanheda anymore. After this war with Azgeda can we just take a break?”

“Clarke, I know that name hurts you to hear, but you earned it because you are unbelievably strong. I will never forgive myself for putting you in that position, but you deserve that title, if only because the strongest among our people ever get it, and you are the strongest in all of our history.” He whispered against her head. “Our people will always see you as a beacon of hope against our enemies and that is what we are to them. Do not let the regret we feel keep you from owning your title, even if you never put it to use again, and I hope you never have too.”

She gripped him tighter as he spoke, she still hated the title, but she understood it more and maybe in time she wouldn’t hate it, hate herself quite so much. For the first time in over a year she let someone else make her feel secure, make her feel safe. 

\------------ 

The next days were a stressful series of meetings. The Queen had finally been captured the evening before and she was to arrive in Polis any minute. Bellamy knew he had to be on his game, but his mind kept straying to the night of the assembly, the last time Clarke and himself had been alone for more than a moment. 

He couldn’t stop the goofy grin that leapt to his face whenever she caught his eye. Her own answering grin was just as wide, but it still held a hesitant edge to it. He schooled his face once again as he heard someone at the door of his room. He stood up at the sight of his sister. “O?”

“Bell, Queen Nia is here. She will be in the throne room in time for the meeting today.” She moved in to hug him. He wrapped his arms around his little sister, giving her an extra squeeze before he pulled away like he had done when they were children. She raised an eyebrow at him before giving him a broad smile. “Someone is in a better mood. This wouldn’t happen to be due to a certain blonde princess would it?”

“O.” He admonished gently, but was unable to deny it. 

“See, I told you it would work out.” She bumped her shoulder against his. “And you are getting married in just over a week. I heard from the gossiping women that it’s going to be beautiful. Though I suppose I should not be surprised. The commander and the commander of death. It is not often that our people would get to see something like this. Though, I have no idea how you are managing to plan this with the brewing war with Azgeda.”

He chuckled at her. “Fishing for compliments are we, Octavia?” She chuckled back. “Thank you for doing this. I know it is short notice, but we need to rebalance this power quickly before any other clans believe that taking her power and taking my head are the only way to correct it.”

She nodded at him. “Your bride is going to be beautiful. We got to look at the design for her dress this morning.”

“She already is, O.” He said before the sound of Titus entering his room pulled them out of their revere. 

“It is time Commander. The ambassadors are to be in the hall in less than 30 minutes. We must make our way there.”

He nodded to Titus. “Make sure that Roan is present. If he is truly not supporting his mother, I want to see how he reacts to her words. Octavia can you please be present. I need extra eyes on the room.” 

She nodded as she followed him out of the room; Titus taking the lead. His nerves started to claw at him, but he swallowed it before they started to show on his face. When he entered the room, he saw that an extra chair had been placed for Clarke. He locked down the soft smile that attempted to lift his lips at the thought of her. 

He closed his eyes after sitting on his throne, dropping into his seat at the commander’s table while he waited for the rest of the attendees to fill in. He was greeted by Lexa and a few of the other commanders. 

“Do not soften against them. Azgeda will try some tricks, but if you can get her to agree to soulou gonplei then you can snuff out her rebellion before it gets worse. If you can get Roan on the throne of Azgeda you can have your unwavering ally. Clarke respects him. Maybe you should as well.” 

“I find him frustrating, but I do respect him. He was able to do in a week what others hadn’t been able to accomplish in a month.” He sighed. “But you are right. She is going to try something today. Will you all please stay present but try not to yell so loud and all at the same time so I can concentrate on what she is doing.”

Lexa nodded. The sound of the doors to the assembly room closing drew him back to the present. Titus had taken his place to Bellamy’s side and Clarke had taken the seat set closest to his throne. He offered her a quick quirk of his lips before addressing the rest of the room. “Ambassadors of the Coalition, today we honor our covenant. The clan that stands against one of us stands against us all.”

“Bring in the accused.” Titus called out to the guards at the back of the room who nodded before moving to collect the queen. Two guards held the ropes that attached to the metal collar around her slim throat. Her smug smile matching Roans was turned on Bellamy as Titus continued. “Queen Nia of Azgeda has confessed to the assasination of Skaikru in Mt. Weather, resulting in the death of 49 members of Skaikru. Wanheda, what say you?”

Clarke’s eyes met his and he nodded softly to her before she spoke. “Skaikru demands justice.”

“Ice Nation does not answer to this girl.” Nia spat out, tugging at the ropes binding her wrists.

“Silence.” Titus demanded. “The punishment for your crime is death. Do you have anything to say in your defense?”

Nia laughed. “I need no defense. He does. Today is judgement day. I call for a vote of no confidence.”

“Take this queen to meet her fate.” Titus’ voice rose in an effort to hide his panic. Bellamy just sat in his throne attempting to not react to her words, though her threats towards Clarke pierced his insides. 

The Podakru Ambassador stood as the guards started to move in on the queen. “Not so fast. Nou Heda noumou.”

Two more stood and offered the same. Titus ordered them taken away too. Bellamy stood as the guards moved in towards them. “Wait.”

“Bellamy, please execute these traitors-” Bellamy raised his hand to stop Titus, telling him only to let her make her move. The rest of the ambassadors stood and offered the same as Podakru.

Clarke turned to him and he could hear the fear in her voice as she begged him to deny her concerns. “Commander, what is this?”

“This is a coup.” He said as he turned solemn eyes on her. 

“This is the law, his law.” Nia boasted as she stood. “A unanimous vote of the ambassadors or death are all that can remove a commander from power.”

“It’s not unanimous.” Clarke said, shooting up out of her chair, moving slightly closer to him. 

“We don’t recognize the legitimacy of Skaikru.” Nia bit out, the other ambassadors tittering nervously behind her. 

“We do.” Titus grinned wickedly as he moved in on Nia. “Four days passed, Skaikru took the brand. They are the 13th clan. This vote of no confidence fails. All these coup plotters will suffer the exact same fate as the Ice Queen.”

“He won’t take our heads because he knows our armies will retaliate. None of us here want war.” Nia grinned, unphased. 

Bellamy moved down towards her. “We both know what you want, Nia. If you think me unfit to command, issue the challenge and let’s get on it with.”

“Very well.” Nia nodded. “You are challenged.”

“And I accept your challenge.” Bellamy said. Lexa offered soft praise as he said the words. 

“So be it. Soulou gonplei. Warrior against warrior to the death. Queen Nia of Azgeda, who do you choose to be your champion?” Titus sounded resigned to the fact that Bellamy would not move against them any further than he had already. 

“My son Roan, Prince of Azgeda.” The look of frustration on Roan’s face was not wholly unexpected but Bellamy felt better for it. Nia looked pleased with herself as Clarke’s face was filled with terror, just as Nia wanted. 

“Heda, who will fight for you?” Titus turned to ask him. 

“I’m the Commander. No one fights for me.” He said before dismissing them. He had work to do before the fight tomorrow. 

\------------ 

Clarke could feel the fear tremble in her body. Octavia had come to her after the meeting telling Clarke exactly what would happen tomorrow. That Bellamy would be risking his life because of her. He had invited her to his throne room to see something he would not explain. She felt her frustration building on top of her terror as she opened the door. The sight of him surrounded by children had not been what she had been expecting. 

Titus stood off to the side, looking as frustrated as she felt. “Talk him out of it yet?” Clarke asked as she moved to his side, her eyes watching Bellamy talk with the kids that lounged around him, his eyes bright. 

Titus shook his head. “No, but maybe you can.”

“I don’t understand.” Clarke said, turning to look Titus full on. “The queen’s not fighting, why should he?”

“The queen’s strength is not in doubt. Thanks to you, Heda’s is.” He said as he turned to look at her before he called out to the kids, ushering them out of the room. 

“Aden, stay.” Bellamy called to a boy with bright blonde hair as Clarke moved towards him. “Clarke, this is Aden. Aden is the most promising of my novitiates. If I should die today, he will likely succeed me. Clarke worries about our people. Tell her what will happen to them when you become Heda, Aden.”

“If I become Heda, I pledge my loyalty to the 13th clan.” The young boy said with a small bow towards her. 

“Thank you. Now go join the others.” He said gently to the boy before turning to lightly grasp her wrist. “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“I’m sorry if I’m worried the fate of my people lies in the hands of a child.” She said petulantly. “And if you die, I won’t wed a child. He will find himself in much the same position as you.”

“Then you worry for nothing. I’ve sent Indra to raise an army from the villages near Arkadia. Your people are protected, as I vowed, they would be.” he promised her. “And he will be a new Heda, my sins won’t follow him. You won’t be required to marry him.”

Clarke moved closer to him, pulling her wrists from his hands and placing her hands against his face gently. “This is not just about my people. You don’t stand a chance against Roan.” She whispered.

“You’ve never seen me fight.” He whispered back, wrapping his arms around her waist lightly. 

“No.” She shook her head in agreement. “But I saw him kill three men in the time it took the first one to hit the ground.”

“If you’re right, tomorrow’s the day my spirit will choose its successor and you need to accept that.” He said gently. “I will fight my hardest to make it back to you, Clarke.”

“Like hell I do.” She growled before ripping herself out of his arms storming out away from him. She would do something to save this confusing man. 

Clarke stalked down the corridors of Polis for hours avoiding as many people as possible before Octavia caught up with her. “He’s really good Clarke. He’ll make it back to you.” She promised. 

“He may be good but he is still human.” She bit back, frustrated with their archaic and violent rules. 

Octavius sighed. “And so is Roan.” 

“Exactly. “Clarke exclaimed “And I can’t trust my people to the outcome of a fight between two humans that are not infallible.” 

“There is nothing you can do except, accept this.” Octavia said, tossing her hands up with just as much frustration as Clarke felt. “You cannot stop this from happening. You have to accept this and support him.”

Clarke said nothing as she walked away from Octavia. The growl that followed drove her faster away from the grounder woman. If she could stop this from happening, she could save her people. Her feet moving faster underneath her as her brain whirled, trying to come up with a plan before she found herself in front of Roan.

Clarke found herself outside of the Polis tower, her hood pulled up over her hair and shielding her face from the people who might stop her. She wound her way through the tents that littered the outside. 

The sound of Nia’s shrill voice met her ears, pulling her towards their tent. Roan and Nia stood outside of the tent as she held the sheath of a wicked looking sword out to him. Clarke’s eyes stayed trained on him from the shadows, as they talked about the fight that would happen tomorrow.

Nia moved away from him and Clarke took her chance to move forward, closer to him. The sound of the whirling blade stopped her in her tracks; she felt the breeze of it ruffle her hood. “Is that death I hear stalking me?” His gruff, irritated voice asked.

Clark lowered her hood and bravely met his angry glare, making note of the smug smirk that lifted his lips as he asked, “Or just the Commander of Death?”

“We need to talk.” She said, looking around.

Roan put his sword down as he met her stare again. “We have nothing to talk about. I need to prepare.”

“I know you had nothing to do with Mt. Weather.” She said in a hushed voice. She shuffled in closer, sparing a glance around to make sure no one could hear her next words. “That’s why I didn’t tell Bellamy you gave me the knife. This is what your mother wanted all along.”

“What do you want? Spit it out.” He growled.

Clarke shrugged, “I want you to become the king. I know you’ve thought of it. She was willing to let you die, willing to let you be banished. I know you just want to go home.”

“When I win, I will.” Roan promised, but she noted that he didn’t deny what his mother had done. 

“For how long?” She questioned, knowing that she had his attention. He was a good fighter, but he was also mostly only interested in his own survival. She knew that his mother held no loyalty from him, that only his people had it. “How long until your mother finds another reason to cast you out, to sacrifice you? No one can cast a king out of his kingdom.”

“I can’t do it. My people would never take me back.” he said. She turned to leave, frustrated with him before his low gravelly voice met her ears again. “But I can help you do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what did you think? Season three is going to have quite a few changes. Some of which because they were quite pointless to the plot line in the original and some of them because I just hated that they were made to do that. And also, because Wells is not Bellamy and neither is Murphy. Next chapter should see Murphy back!


	17. Cause Love is Something You Can’t Shake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She turned to Bellamy with a pleading look, begging him to leave the room with her and let this cool down. He met her stare with a soft look nodding and her. She turned to leave, Bellamy less than a moment behind her when Pike’s voice lashed out again. “Your father would be so disappointed in you.”
> 
> She stopped, several people drawing in sharp breaths, “Maybe.” She conceded not turning to look at him. “But he would have hated who you have become. There are 12 year olds who can act with more decorum than you have shown here today. Just let me save us and learn to let go, Pike. Nothing good can come of this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter this time coming in just under 5k words, but it felt like the right place to stop.

When Clarke showed up in the throne room the next morning, her face was covered in dried black blood and she looked visibly shaken. Bellamy moved closer to her, reaching out to grasp her arms, pulling her towards him as he called for Titus to be brought to him. He didn’t say anything or ask her what had happened because there would be time for that when Titus appeared. He just gently stroked her head as her cheek rested against his chest. Her arms loose around his waist.

At the sound of the doors opening he pulled away from her, allowing Titus to move in and inspect her face. “What happened?” Titus’ asked with his no nonsense voice. 

Clarke told them about going to see Nia in her tent, about offering her a deal with Skaikru if she won and about the poison that was on her shirt. She told them about the petite black-haired child with an angry face who stopped Nia from cutting her palm with the poisoned blade and Nia’s subsequent words and the blood that was dribbled on her face.

Titus’ face was concerned when he stepped away from Clarke. “A Commander from the Ice Nation. Now all of Nia’s provocations make sense, and we played right into it. She knew you would accept her challenge.”

“I’ve never seen blood that color before.” Clarke said as she moved in closer, her fingernails picking at the dried blood.

“Goes back to the first Commander.” He told her as he offered her a wet cloth to wipe her face. “When a Night blood child is found, they’re brought here to be trained, or supposed to be.”

“Your legacy is no longer secure.” Titus fretted. “There is still time to choose a champion.”

Bellamy turned away from them, walking back towards his throne, gently pressed the knuckles of his hands to one of the armrests. “You know I can’t do that.” Titus started to interrupt but Bellamy cut him off with a quick. “Leave us.” 

Titus was slow to leave and neither of them moved until the door shut behind them. Clarke moved towards him, gently laying her hand against his back, between his shoulder blades, “Titus is right. You’re giving her exactly what she wants.” 

“Only if I lose.” He said. The frustration with her meddling made his shoulders tight before pulling away from her gentle hands. “I know you’re just trying to help Clarke, but there’s nothing you can do here.”

“I can’t just let Roan kill you.” She argued, following him off the pulpit. 

“If that is to be my fate, you must. You’re driven to fix everything for everyone, but you can’t fix this. I have to do this on my own and you have to let me.” He argued back. Turning to face Clarke again. 

She moved in closer. Her hands came to cup his cheeks softly before her thumbs swiped across them. “I won’t just sit there and watch you die.” Her eyes were slightly glassy as she stared up at him. “Please don’t ask me to do that.”

The sound of the door opening had Clarke pulling away from him as Titus stepped in with a brief “Heda, it’s time.” Clarke’s eyes darted towards the tall man before turning back towards him. The weight of her stare startling him. 

“Then this is goodbye” He offered her not willing to ask her for more than she would give. He couldn’t stop himself from offering her one more promise. “For now.” He turned towards Titus and exited, not allowing himself to look back to the blonde. 

\------------ 

The streets were loud as Clarke darted between the press of bodies trying to move closer to the fight. The hood of her cloak falling uselessly down her back. She wanted people to know that Wanheda was on the move, wanted them to part before her so she could reach Bellamy before the fight. 

Titus had already started the opening remarks when she finally made it to the right side. “- Someone must die today. You may begin.”

Bellamy’s shocked face was enough for her to know she had done the right thing in coming. “I’m glad you came.”

“Me too.” Clarke said, offering him a gentle smile. 

The lumbering form of the Azgaden Prince caught her eye but with no time for her to warn Bellamy. The look on her face must have been warning enough because quicker than she could believe he had rounded on Roan. His sword raised to catch Roan’s. The clash of metal set her heart rate skyrocketing. 

The whirling of blades was hard to follow for a moment except to see the trickle of blood flowing down Roan’s ribs and the black blood that tinted Bellamy’s lip. Roan kicked out at Bellamy’s knee forcing him down as Bellamy tried to keep Roan’s blade from pressing any further. 

Roan was whispering words to Bellamy when suddenly Clarke saw his offhand darting up to grab the blade and more black blood was welling from his hand. He forced their blades up, knocking Roan backwards. There was another rush of movement and Bellamy had lost his sword before they came back to the center in a tussle and Bellamy pulled away with both weapons in his hands. 

Roan rushed to one of the guards, decking him as he pulled the spear out of the limp hand. They clashed again. Roan’s spear pulled one blade, then the other from Bellamy’s hands. They both were starting to look worse for wear, but Clarke’s throat closed in panic when Bellamy was tossed to the ground by the slightly larger man. The spear resting against his throat was enough to make Clarke want to turn away, but she kept her eyes trained on the dark mop of hair that was currently laying in the dirt at Roan’s feet. 

She truly didn’t understand how it happened but suddenly Bellamy moved and then the next thing she knew Roan was on his back, spear pressed to his throat. Roan’s eyes closing in defeat sent Nia to her feet as she screamed. “Get up! If you die, you don’t die a prince, you die a coward!”

“Get it over with.” Roan gritted out just loud enough for Clarke to hear.

“Blood must have blood.” Bellamy shouted. He pulled the spear back from Roan, hurling it at Nia. The crack of it piercing her body was loud, as was the thump of her dead weight falling into the chair behind her. The crowd roared with the glee of violence. Bellamy moved up towards the throne on the platform before he shouted. “The queen is dead. Long live the king.”

The crowd cried out for him so loud she thought she might lose her hearing. Their eyes met from across the distance. She offered him another gentle smile before she turned to make her way back towards the tower. Her relief made her feel weak in a way that she didn’t want the grounders to see. 

\------------ 

Bellamy limped towards Clarke’s door, drawn towards her if only to see her safe in his tower after she had swept away from the fight without a guard in sight. 

He knocked at the door, straightening his posture to hide as much of his discomfort as possible. He knew he looked much like she did on the night they’d first met. He heard her soft call to come in, the relief he felt at the sound of her voice almost bowled him over before he braced himself to enter her door. 

She turned her soft blue eyes on him and smirked. “Is this “I told you so”?”

“No,” He shook his head. “this is “thank you”.”

Her shy smile pulled her head down to stare at the ground before she reached out to grab his hand almost unconsciously. The touch of her hand sent a warmth through him as she dragged him over to the plush chair by the small table in her room. “Sit down. Let me change that for you.” She moved over to the wash basin and collected the damp rag that was there before she turned back to him. “That girl that was with Nia, Ontari, what will happen to her?”

His heart rate raced up when she moved to stand almost between his legs as she unwound the soiled cloth on his hand. He took a steadying breath before he answered. “She won’t be back until the conclave after my death.”

“Do you ever talk about anything other than your death?” She teased him. 

He felt his lips pull up into a smile, his uninjured hand moved to rest softly against her thigh that brushed his. She tore off a clean bandage as her cheeks pinked up. “Thank you for backing me.” He whispered.

“I was just doing what was right for my people.” She tried to brush it off before she dropped her voice to match his whispered words. “Your Ambassadors betrayed you. How do you move forward?”

“They were doing what they believed was right for their people, too.” He offered with a shrug. 

He felt her hand brush a curl away from his forehead, but his eyes remained trained on her face. “Good night, Commander.” She said softly as she moved back from him. 

“Good night, Clarke.” He stood before leaning down to press a gentle kiss on the crown of her head. When he pulled back her eyes had fallen closed and he turned to leave, stopping only a moment at her door to meet her eyes one last time.

The next morning when the sun was still barely in the sky, she mounted a horse next to Bellamy. The caravan trailed behind them with the body of the dead queen, guards surrounding them on all sides. After exiting the city proper and finding themselves among the forest, Bellamy relaxed. He was more relaxed and open than she had ever seen him, a soft smile playing on his lips when their conversation lagged. In this moment she could see how her life would be with him by her side. His words from the other night still rang in her ears. 

The small smile that had been milling about her face for the majority of the day dropped off her face as she started to recognize the forest surrounding what was now her people’s land. The comfortable silence they had been sitting now felt tense. Keeping her eyes forward her mind wondered. 

“Thinking about home?” His soft question startled her, causing her to jump a little in the tack she sat upon. 

She flicked her eyes over towards his for a moment before she turned back towards the front, though she could still feel his eyes on her. “Thinking about whether Arkadia is home.” She said honestly. Hesitation swept over her before she finished her thought in halting words. “When I left, it had a different name. I was different.”

“You left a hero to your people and you return one.” The emotion in his words caught her off guard and she couldn’t stop herself from looking at him. “The mountain slayer returns with the body of the Ice Queen. You bring them justice.”

She shook her head, denying his praise of her. “ _ You _ bring them justice.”

“We bring them peace.” He said, moving his horse closer as he reached out a hand to her. His fingertips trailing lightly down her arm before squeezing her wrist and returning to the reins. For the first time she let herself soak up the comfort of his touch, let it wash away her unease without having to make a concerted effort to ignore it.

Shortly before they reached the gates of Arkadia Lincoln and Indra approached them, a wary expression on the latter’s face. “Heda,” Lincoln’s steady voice called out. “Our army prepares to move back to their homes now. The field should be cleared by tomorrow morning.”

Bellamy nodded to them both, but not inquiring any further into what he had left unsaid. Allowing him to pick through his thoughts. Though that didn’t stop Clarke from asking, “What aren’t you saying?” Bellamy’s eyes darted to hers in exasperation. 

“There is unrest amongst your people, Wanheda.” Indra spat out. “Kane and Abby have been more than welcoming and for now they are containing your people, but the tensions are high and many of the new Sky People that are finding their way are angry with us.”

Clarke’s eyes cut to Bellamy’s and his spoke volumes to her. “Well, we will have to talk to Kane and my mother when we get there.” She said through gritted teeth. She would be damned if they messed up the tenuous peace she had forged at the expense of her freedom. 

\------------ 

He watched her tense frame grow marginally more tense the closer they got to the gate. The towering metal frame opening at the sight of their small caravan. The guards dropped back to flank them as they moved towards the front of the procession. Abby and Kane stood at the gate to greet them. Her people were wary of them as they entered, and he could see their restlessness drawing them into clumps. 

Clarke’s disquiet drew the hairs on his neck to attention and goosebumps rose on his skin. He wouldn’t admit it but her unerring ability to read a room gave him a great measure of comfort and her concern made him feel just as disquieted. 

He moved towards her after dismounting, instead of waiting for her to move towards him as their custom would dictate once their union was finalized. He let this hand rest on her lower back for a moment, drawing her eyes to his, trying to portray a calm he didn’t feel. When she relaxed minutely his hand fell back to his side and he turned to Abby and Kane. The former was studying him as if he was the answer to some great mystery in her life. 

They moved further inside the walls of the compound, following Abby and Kane into the remnants of the ship they had crash landed in. The interior looked almost pristine except for areas of crushed metal that cropped up occasionally; it had a cold sort of efficiency about it. The image of a young blonde stalking confidently through the corridors struck him suddenly and her stories of how they lived before coming to Earth made more sense. 

Inside the meeting room they were surrounded with other Skaikru members including the angry black man that had stormed polis with the teenagers. The malice on his face made Bellamy want to pull Clarke behind him to protect her from the angry glare the man sent her way. As the room settled and with Indra and Lincoln at their backs, Clarke moved forward to talk to her people.

\------------ 

“As is tradition among the Grounders, we bring the body of the person who killed the innocent people in Mount Weather. Now that we are part of the coalition, we are afforded the same rights as all the other clans.” Clarke started. She knew she sounded monotoned; her emotions at being back in camp were all over the place and she had no choice but to shut them down to get through the day. “Her body will be burned, where our people were slain, as is their custom.”

“What if we don’t want their customs.” Sneered Charles Pike, her former Earth Skills teacher. The man who had once been so nice had a twisted violence on his face. “That doesn’t bring our people back. It doesn’t change the fact that we are surrounded by his army!”

“No, you are not surrounded.” She denied the accusations. “The army was sent to protect you from Queen Nia, who is now dead thanks to him. They are preparing to leave, to go back to their homes. They will be clear of our land by the morning.”

“How can you believe that when they have done nothing but try to kill us since you landed.” He grouched. 

“ _ You _ sent us down to die, Pike.” She said gently. The adults looked around, unable to look at her face as she stared down Pike. “Adults in leadership on the ark sent  _ 100 kids _ down to the Earth with less than hope that they would survive. They may be ruthless, but we are no less. And yet you trust my mother. You trusted Jaha, who I see has returned. We are not innocent in this war any more than they are.”

Pike rounded on her, his fury lashed out in waves, his eyes molten as he stepped towards her. “What is to stop those savages from attacking us?”

“Me!” She shouted before taking a steadying breath, her eyes flicked back to Bellamy’s in apology for what she would have to say next. “My  _ freedom _ for all of yours. Don’t you get it? I’m giving up  _ everything _ for you to have peace with them. Like it or not, we have to live with these people and that means submitting to the coalition. That means me submitting to an  _ arranged marriage _ for the assurance that you will be  _ safe _ while you try to settle. So, unless you are done with trying to seek a reason for revenge against people who are now trying to be our allies then you are going to have to go through me!”

She huffed out another breath, flapping her hands helplessly against her sides. “And if you continue to fight us on this you could bring very real consequences down on our people,  _ my people _ . We,  _ the 100 _ , have been fighting to survive since the moment you launched us out of the Ark. We had no say in the matter. Now we do, and we just want  _ peace _ . We are  _ tired _ of fighting for fighting sake. You  _ chose _ to go against the advice of our allies by moving those people into Mount Weather, against the advice of the council too,  _ I might add _ . Look what happened there.  _ You _ invited the enemy into attacking by not following our advice until we could secure further safety. Had you waited those people may have kept their lives.”

Clarke turned to look at her mother, Abby’s face wrecked and tearful. “We cannot continue to provoke these people, we have to do better. This is not the Ark. We cannot lead by brute force and scare tactics any longer. We don’t have the advantage of numbers here. We dwarf the smallest clan by more than half. If we have any hope of survival we have to accept this.  _ All of us _ . So now you have a choice to make, because I won’t stand for your continued attempts at sabotage. I will help them eliminate the threat to peace for our people, whether that’s 2 people or 100. Because the 100 deserves a break, We  _ deserve _ this.”

When Bellamy laid his hand gently on her back, she realized that she was shaking. Clarke took another deep breath prepared to finish talking when he surprised her by moving forward. “I understand your pain, for I too, have known it. Before we united under the coalition, many of my friends died protecting our lands. And we have waged war on each other, fiercely. Clarke more fiercely than any other and if Clarke and I can come to an understanding and move forward peacefully, there is hope for the rest of our people.”

“We will open trade discussions within the week following our union. Please prepare lists of what you might need in trade and what you might have to trade back. I will personally help to broker fair deals if necessary. We are willing to send a small group of people to help your people learn our ways when you are ready for that. But understand that by taking the brand, you now are my people. I will lead fairly but if you strike out against the rest of the clans in your fruitless desire for revenge, we will turn the might of the coalition against you as we would with any clan that moves against us.” Bellamy stood tall next to her and stared down Pike who was still huffing with crossed arms as he leaned against the wall. 

She turned to Bellamy with a pleading look, begging him to leave the room with her and let this cool down. He met her stare with a soft look nodding and her. She turned to leave, Bellamy less than a moment behind her when Pike’s voice lashed out again. “Your father would be so disappointed in you.”

She stopped, several people drew in sharp breaths, “Maybe.” She conceded not turning to look at him. “But he would have  _ hated  _ who you have become. There are 12-year olds who can act with more decorum than you have shown here today. Just let me save us and learn to let go, Pike. Nothing good can come of this. Don’t make eliminating you the easiest way to obtain peace, because I am Wanheda and I do command death. If only for the safety of my people, I won't hesitate.”

She fled the room with Bellamy hot on her heels. She could hear the footsteps of Lincoln and Indra chasing after them as well. Halfway down the hall Bellamy grabbed her arm and stopped her from moving any further away. He pulled at the door they had stopped next to, opened it checking to see if it was empty before pulling her inside with him. He told Lincoln and Indra to give them a moment, closing the door in their faces, before they could respond. 

Clarke could feel her whole-body trembling, trying to shake her apart. “What do you need, Clarke?” He asked as he pulled her to his chest. His arms wrapping around her. She shook her head unable to answer for a moment. She gripped the heavy leather of the jacket that hugged him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. 

“I’m sorry, Bellamy.” she sighed gently as he dropped his cheek to the top of her head. 

“No, Clarke.” He soothed, rubbing his hands up and down her back. “Don’t apologize for them. We all do what we feel we must, and he is not seeing clearly.”

She shook her head. “It's not just him. They all look at me with fear for the things I’ve done to get them here, safe and sound. I used to just be a kid, studying to be a doctor under my mother. And now I’ve become this  _ monster _ for them and they hate me for it.”

“You can study that again. Once we are wed, Nyko and other healers can come to Polis and teach you. Or you could go to them and learn.” He promised. 

The warmth that she felt from his words and the spread of his hands against her back, slowed her trembling. “Thank you, Bellamy” she said genuinely before pulling out of his arms. He nodded wordlessly to her and they exited the room. Heading towards the open sky outside of the ark, she noticed the concerned looks that Lincoln was sending her way no matter how she tried to avoid it. 

They exited the confining metal to see Jaha perched up against a pole looking as calm as he ever had. As they neared him, she heard his words, “...you think about it, whether we fight that pain or succumb to it the result is the same. It diminishes our lives, robs us of our passions and past times and damages relationships between friends and lovers. What if I told you there's a simple way to eliminate it?”

Raven’s voice was unexpected as she yelled at him. “I'd say you're full of crap. There's no simple way to eliminate pain, and you know it.”

Clarke watched him offer Raven something before the angry brunette turned and limped away. Clarke excused herself to follow Raven. 

\------------ 

Bellamy watched the exchange between Thelonious and Raven and a sudden unexplained fear gripped his heart. The older man offered him a creepy smile that washed Bellamy in cold chills, before turning away from him. Bellamy couldn’t wait to be out his way back to Polis and away from this cold unfriendly place and for once every previous Heda agreed with him. 

“I don’t know what my father’s deal is, but something is going on.” Wells' voice said as he neared them. “I’m sorry for storming your meeting the other day. I thought Clarke was in danger.”

“She will never be in danger from me, if I can help it.” He promised the other boy. 

Wells nodded once; his jaw clenched before he said. “But you already had put her in danger, many times over.” Bellamy opened his mouth to explain before Wells tossed his hand up to stop him. “She trusts you for some reason and I trust her, so I’m going to try for her sake. Because you are going to marry my best friend. I know this is probably not what either of you want and I know this is her idea because only she could be so self-sacrificing.”

“But,” Wells paused, watching her receive more heated words from Raven. “Please take care of her. She’s strong but she does have feelings, even if it doesn’t seem like it. She’s an artist; she’s gentle. She’s the best person I know. I know she thinks I can’t stand the sight of her right now because of how I acted when we returned from Mount Weather but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Just,” He paused a moment. “just don’t keep her away from us forever.”

“I wouldn’t do that to her.” Bellamy promised. “And you will always be welcome to visit us in Polis. I’m sure that would make her happy.” 

The angry sounds of the mechanic brought a chuckle from Wells throat. Bellamy cocked an eyebrow at the boy. “What is so funny?”

“Raven,” He said. “She’s so angry at Clarke for sacrificing herself again. Though I’m not sure it’s a huge sacrifice if the way she looks at you is anything to go by. Raven just feels alone. Clarke never came in and told them she was leaving us. I was the only one that knew, and I had to tell Raven she lost another person who she had come to care about. And after three months of no word, we really thought she was dead. Raven grieved her as much as she grieved for Finn.”

Bellamy nodded. Watching the brunette who was still shouting pull Clarke into a hug, her thin arms banding around Clarke’s weary form. It brought a smile to his face as he turned away to make his way back to the rest of their people. Leaving Wells to join the girls and attempt to make amends with Clarke. Kane joined him as they prepared for the memorial at the site of the Mount Weather destruction, where they would burn the bodies. 

The older man laid his hand on Bellamy’s shoulder for a moment, his face the picture of recitience, “Bellamy?” Kane paused. “Please take care of her. She... she’s struggled more and had to sacrifice more than most people have to in ten lifetimes, most of that before she even was sent to earth. And a lot of that, I’m ashamed to say was at the hands of people she should have been able to trust, including myself. If she’s anything like her father, and I know that she is, she will sacrifice the very air in her lungs if she can save even just one person from a pain she’s known. ”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow at the deep lines of remorse on Kane’s face, it echoed the regret he saw wearing heavy on him the first time they’d met in the depths of his prison. “I will.”

“You don’t understand.” Kane raked his hands through his hair. “She has all the cold calculations and impressively strategic mind of Abby, with all the uncanny ability to refuse to put themselves first of Jake, her father. He was a good man, maybe too good of a man and ultimately that’s what got him killed. I can’t let that happen to her too. It took me a long time to understand exactly what was at stake, but now I do. You’ll understand before long if you don’t purposefully try to ignore it, like I did.”

“Kane, I think I already understand.” Bellamy looked heavily into the other man’s eyes. “I will protect her, because she will be mine. I meant what I said in your meeting room. I, too, understand the pain of loss and I won’t make the same mistakes again. I won’t lose her to anyone, including herself if I can help it.”

Kane nodded, they both turned to look at Clarke as she ambled over towards them, her arm looped through Raven’s and Wells. A hesitant smile on her lips as she let her discomfort take a back seat to reestablishing a connection with her friends. His heart swelled in his chest as he took her in. 

\------------ 

They made their way back to Polis the next morning, arriving back in the early evening. Bellamy joined her for dinner in her room and after they sat around and talked. Bellamy had presented her with a sketchbook and charcoal pencils that looked much like what she had on the ark before her life took a nosedive. 

Bellamy had dozed off, mid-conversation and she let him sleep, pulling out the sketchbook. For a moment she watched the setting sun glint off his handsome face, begging her to draw it. She put one of her new pencils to the paper and before she knew it, she had done a pretty accurate depiction of his sleeping face. Her hand continued to trace the lines of his face tenderly until Bellamy gasped as he shot up off the couch, startled her. His wild eyes flitted around the room as his panic nightmare faded and she watched him carefully take stock of where he was.

She set her sketchbook aside quickly as she moved towards him. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.” She soothed, pushing the hair off his forehead before she let her hands settle on his clammy cheeks. “What were you dreaming about?”

“Commanders before me, they speak to me in my sleep.” He said, shuddering. “I saw their deaths. At war, at the hands of an assassin, in an explosion.”

“It was just a nightmare.” She promised, drawing his head towards her chest. 

“No, it’s a warning.” His arms came to wrap around her waist. “They think something is coming but they don’t know what.”

She hugged him tighter before pulling back to look in his eyes. “Listen to me. Whatever is coming we will face it together. Your legacy will be peace.” He stood up and paced away from her, stopping in front of the sketch of his face. A thoughtful expression settled on his face, his eyes dilated, taking in every detail as she watched him. She moved in on him and gently pulled the sketch from him. “Oh, that’s, it’s not finished yet.”

He let it go before turning to her. His hand coming up to cup her cheek, thumb stroking back and forth. His intense dark eyes captured her own. His towering form crowded her as he leaned down towards her. Clarke’s breath hitched in her chest and her heartbeat took a frantic turn. 

The rapping of knuckles on her door sent them both jumping backwards, their hooded eyes flying open at the intrusion. Bellamy straightened before calling for whomever it was to, “Enter.”

Titus entered with two guards pulling a heavy ornate box behind him. “Pardon me, Heda. I didn’t realize you were here.” Titus said, his tone tight with disapproval. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s in the box or not?” Bellamy asked, his face dropping his expressive features into frustration.

“Forgive me.” Titus bowed to him before turning towards Clarke. “This is a gift from King Roan of Azgeda for Wanheda. The messenger said this is both proof of Azgeda’s loyalty to the coalition and an answer to a yet unanswered question. Open it.”

Titus moved off to the side as the guards who had set the box down lifted the top of it. She moved closer; she could feel Bellamy’s warm presence inches from her back. She peered inside and there was a dirty and bloody lump of a man inside the box. His face almost unrecognizable as his eyes widened upon seeing her. 

“Emerson.” She whispered. The sound of his name seemed to knock him from his surprise. He lurched upwards screaming, in his haste to get to his feet he knocked her backwards from the box. Once righted he quickly launched himself again at Clarke, his bound hands reaching for her throat. He bowled her over, his screaming increasing as he attempted to straddle her. 

“Stop him! Get him out of here! Put him in a cage, now.” Bellamy’s frantic voice yelled as he tried to help wrestle the man off of her. The guards who seemed slow to react finally pulled Emerson away from her body. 

Bellamy reached down and pulled Clarke up to her feet. His hands fluttering uselessly over her as she tried to get her bearings back. She grabbed his hand to stop the frantic movements. “I’m fine.” She heaved out as she struggled to catch her breath and slow her heart rate. Her eyes turned to watch the guards dragging the man down the hallway. 

\------------ 

Murphy had a habit of getting himself into situations that didn’t have great exit strategies. This time he just hoped he would survive long enough to escape. His current mistake had been following Jaha when his friends were preparing to head to war. Though it had led him to the beautiful grounder girl with the wicked cool hand. Emori. 

Emori had left him when it was clear that they wouldn’t make it out even if she tried to help. He was okay with that. But now the grounders had him and were carting him off to who knew where and planning who knew what kind of torture. Clearly, Clarke hadn’t gotten her peace, even at the cost of Finn’s life. 

When the grounders took off his hood, a bald man with a tattoo ringing the back of his head started down at him. The man held the chip he’d gotten from Jaha out in front of him.“Where did you get our most sacred symbol?”

“Dude, it's a corporate logo.” His mouth shot off before he could stop it. He cringed, prepared for his retaliation. 

The bald man turned back to the guards that had brought him in. “Chain him up to the floor. I must meet with Heda.”

They moved him backwards, forcing him to kneel on the cold stone floor. The heavy chains they placed on him were bound to be strong. He was only thankful that they put leather cuffs on him instead of letting the chains cut into his skin. 

The guards followed the bald man out and he heard the heavy thud of a metal door above him closing. “Well, Fuck.” he mumbled to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little nugget of Murphy at the end. Don’t worry team cockroach will be meeting again soon. And a question of will they or won’t they make it to the alter... to be honest I haven’t decided yet. What do y’all think?


	18. If You Feel Like Leaving, I’m Not Gonna Beg You To Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No.” she cried. “I'm not letting you die.”
> 
> “The next Commander will protect you.” He promised. 
> 
> She shook her head, wiping the tears from her face. “I don't want the next Commander. I want you.” She said as she leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. “Okay, hold him.” She turned to start the sutures and a scream tore from his throat, before he passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait you guys! Will hopefully have another chapter up before the weekend. 
> 
> PLEASE NOTE: THE RATING HAS CHANGED. I got a little carried away while writing this chapter.

“You are letting her cloud your judgment-” Titus argued, his tense posture leaning towards Bellamy

“Well she is about to be my wife,” Bellamy said, cutting him off before Titus could finish his sentence. He leaned into Titus, his words a harsh whisper in the silent room. “or did you forget that we need her for that. That to fix the power imbalance I need her and that it was her idea as well. I thought you were supposed to be loyal!” 

“I am, but you are too personally in-” Titus’s words were once again cut off as Clarke joined the two of them in the throne room. “Here she is.”

Clarke nodded and gave a small bow to Bellamy. “You wanted to see me, Commander?”

He moved towards her. “Yes. I need to discuss the fate of the last Mountain Man.”

“I believe he deserves death.” Titus said sounding smug at the prospect of her proving him right. 

“She can speak for herself, Titus.” Bellamy bit back. He turned back towards Clarke. 

Clarke’s emotions played on her face and Bellamy’s eyes took in every one of them. Her grief and anger outweighed the regret for her actions. “Titus is right.”

“You see?” Titus’s face turned gleeful. “It is human nature to need vengeance. Only once satiated can there be peace. That is our way.”

“That _ was _ our way.” He said. Closing his eyes for a moment before looking at Clarke. He understood why she felt that way. He’d only hoped that the peaceful life they had talked about on their way back from Arkadia could have already started. She was once again making the power balance look off to his people. 

“He was gifted to you.” Titus said. “The crime he stands charged with is against your people.”

“Leave us Titus.” Bellamy said before turning to Clarke again. His hand reaching out to her only when the door had closed behind Titus. “You have options, Clarke. Banishment from our land forever or death by 49 cuts from your hand? You have until sundown to decide. Let our legacy be one of peace. My people will have to learn to forgive the sins of the past as much as yours do.”

He turned to leave her to her thoughts. Praying that she would make the right call, or he would have to find some way to smooth this over with his people who still called for Skaikru to be taken out. 

\------------ 

Knowing she had only hours to decide what to do with Emerson, she moved towards the throne room where she knew he had been brought in under the watchful eye of many guards. “Give us a minute.” She said when she entered, offering only the briefest glance at the guards as she passed through the doors. 

They all moved to stand at the back of the room allowing her a modicum of privacy with the man who continued to complicate her life at every turn she made since learning of the mountain man. She pulled the blindfold off his face as she stared him down. “Carl Emerson, Mount Weather security detail.”

“I’ve heard what they call you now.” He spit out. His anger warping his face. “Wanheda, commander of death.”

“I should’ve known it was you who told them how to infiltrate the Mountain.” She said. 

“I didn’t infiltrate Mount Weather, you did, you destroyed it. 381 people. 182 men, 173 women, 26 children. Two of them were mine.” He said, his hands fighting the restraints that bound him to the post. Her eyes dropped to the floor for a moment before meeting his angry, grief filled ones. 

“Your president gave us no choice.” She reminded him. He screamed in her face and she flinched away from him. The guards started to move forward to restrain him again before she held up her hand. 

“What’s the matter?” He taunted. “You don’t like to be faced with your demons?”

“If you want mercy, you’re gonna have to ask me for it.” She raised her head to stare him in the face. Not willing to look any weaker in front of him.

“I don’t want mercy,” he laughed. “I want revenge. I want you to suffer the same way that I’ve suffered.”

Her heart clenched at his words. She turned away from him to escape back to her room. As she moved toward the door and the guards moved back to Emerson, he shouted to her form. “You can kill me, Clarke, but you can never escape what you did. My pain ends today. Yours has just begun.”

Her mind wandered as her feet took her around the floor, she would be sharing with Bellamy in less than a week. It would be their home, yet it still felt hostile. The guards that were scattered throughout watched her as she passed them, their eyes glued to her with suspicion. Turning away from the room she knew he was in, preparing for the meeting, she retreated to her room. There would be people to prepare her, waiting on her. She had to start presenting herself as his intended and she knew that meant sitting through getting her hair braided and then stuffed into a leather outfit to match him. 

As she expected, the gentle old woman who had helped prepare her for the assembly meeting when her people became the 13th clan, was waiting. A surprisingly fabric-based outfit was laying on the bed. Though it was still dark in color she was pleased. Sighing, she offered a polite smile and sat in the chair that stood before the woman. 

\------------ 

The drums droned rhythmically as he approached the hall, his guards sweeping out behind him. He adjusted the sign of the commander between his brows one last time before moving through the doors that were being pulled open for him. 

He could see Clarke in her place near his throne. He made a mental note to have a permanent chair made for her after the wedding. One she would find more comfortable. She looked lost in thought, her blue eyes focused more inward than he would have expected in a room full of people. 

He moved towards the throne and lifted his hand to stop the drums before he turned to address the room. “We come together tonight as we have countless times before to watch a man die.” He unsheathed a knife from the hand that offered it to him. He lifted it for the room to see before turning to Clarke. His eyes met her conflicted face and he felt her begging him for an answer he couldn’t provide. “Wanheda. Vengeance is yours.”

She moved towards Emerson and studied his face. He could see her trying to find a way to do this with a clear conscience. “No.” She said to the room. Handing the knife back to the guard. Bellamy took a moment to allow his heart to unclench. He watched her turn back to Emerson, her face thoughtful. “I don’t know if your death would bring me peace. I just know I don’t deserve it. I wouldn’t be killing you for what you’ve done. I’d be killing you for what  _ I’ve _ done. I give this man his life. Blood must not have blood.”

“Silence!” He yelled as the crowd started to murmur at the turn of events. “The crimes of the Mountain cannot be answered by one man. Wanheda knows this. Her actions show us a promise for a new future. A world in which violence does not always answer violence. A world in which our children can flourish without the shadow of death. This prisoner is banished from my land. He will live, but he will live with the ghosts of those he has lost. Haunted until the end of his days by the knowledge that he is the last of his kind.”

“May you live forever.” Clarke said to Emerson as she moved back to his side. Bellamy gave her a small smile as she passed him. They could lead their people to peace, he felt it deep in his soul. They escorted Emerson out of Polis together at the head of their people. The guards that would escort Emerson off their lands moved to take him past the gates of his city as Bellamy ghosted his hand over Clarke’s lower back, turning them back towards their home. 

They moved back towards their rooms slowly after reaching the tower. His eyes followed the lines of her face as she took in the new artwork he'd placed in his halls. “Would you join me for dinner?” He asked her as they neared her room, his hand reaching out to lightly grasp hers. 

She ducked her head as a blush rose on her cheeks. “I would like that.” She said tipping her head up to look at him again. 

He laced their fingers together as he pulled her towards his room. When they passed a guard, he asked them to have the kitchen send Clarke’s food to his room and that they would be ready for it at any time. His hand never let go of hers, he ignored the looks the guards sent him. 

They ate in comfortable silence before retiring to the sofa. He turned to her. “Can I ask you something?”

Her eyes met his with a quietly muttered, “Hmm?” falling off her lips. 

“Can you tell me about your family?” He asked. “I feel like I know so little about you.”

She looked surprised by the question. “Well, what would you like to know?”

“I know your mother is Abby and she is a doctor, but I don’t know much else about you. Tell me about your father. I’m curious after Pike’s words the other day.” He admitted. Turning to look at her, neatly folding a leg up on the couch, tucking his foot under the leg that still hung from the couch. “Did he die in the crash to Earth or in a skirmish with my people?”

Her face held a quiet sadness as she hesitated to answer. He was about to retract his question when she opened her mouth. “He died a year before we came down, the first of us anyway. He was trying to protect everyone.” Her mouth twitched up into a smile as she leaned back into the couch, closer to him than she had been, her arm so close he could feel the heat radiating off her onto his chest. Her eyes still projected the loss as they met his. He reached his hand out to grasp hers. She looked down at their joined hands before lacing her fingers with his. 

“There was a fault with our life support systems, he was the engineer that found it. He wanted to tell everyone. ‘The more minds on the problem, the more likely we are to come up with a solution,’ he had said. But the council disagreed. They didn’t want people to panic.” She sighed, shifting closer to him as her sad eyes traced their linked hands. 

“He was going to do it anyway.” A rueful smile graced her lips as she turned to meet his stare. “He thought they had a right to know. See, at the time we thought it would be another 100 years before we could safely come to Earth. He was killed because he wouldn’t let it go. I was locked up for a year because I knew. I would have been killed on my eighteenth birthday if we had lived that long. I watched as they put my father in the airlock and floated him and I was arrested immediately after, dragged away to solitary confinement.”

A rush of breath left him at her words. The arm that had rested against the back of the couch, moved to circle her, pulling her to his chest. “I’m so sorry, Clarke.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I mean it’s not, but it’s not your fault. He was a great man. I just wish I could be half as good as he was.”

“You already are.” He let go of her hand, using his now free hand to tilt her head up to look at him. “You saved all your people, at great expense to yourself. I am in awe of you. I’ve never known someone as frustratingly, difficult to kill.” 

They both chuckled. She rested her hand on the one that still cupped her jaw. “Thanks, I know you mean that as a compliment.”

He leaned towards her, resting his forehead against hers. “You have led a difficult life, Clarke. And you are so strong, you deserved so much better.” He whispered as his nose traced hers. 

“You do too, you know. Deserve better.” She whispered back; her blue eyes hidden behind her closed lids. He pressed his lips to hers, lightly at first but when she turned in his arms to straddle his lap, he let himself pour more passion into the kiss. His tongue slid against the seam of her lips and she opened to him without hesitation. His hands moved down to her waist, fingers pushing her shirt up to allow him to touch her bare skin. Her own hands running through the soft curls at the back of his head.

When he pulled away to catch his breath, he didn’t move far from her. He let his head drop to her shoulder as he mouthed at her neck, hands snaking up her back under the soft fabric of her shirt. Her head fell back as he did, a gasp falling from her lips. Her hands moved down from his hair to his jaw, pulling him back up to meet her lips again. 

Their kiss felt endless as their hands wandered over each other. After what had felt like hours and yet, still only moments, she reached down and pulled her shirt over her head. He drank in the sight of her creamy flesh as he asked. “You sure?” 

She nodded, reaching around her back to unhook her bra. He sucked a breath in as she revealed the pale blush of her pebbled nipples. His hands ran gently up her sides to brush lightly over the peaks, her breath catching at every pass. He brought her back to him with a kiss as he palmed at her heavy breasts, thumbs flicking ever so gently against the sensitive tissue. She rocked into him, his hands dropping to her hips to stop the movement before banding around her back. He pulled away from the kiss and trailed his lips down her neck. He lightly nibbled against her collarbone as he bent her further backwards, his strong arms supporting her. 

She gasped and writhed for a moment when his mouth moved over her breast. Another rock of her hips against his when he gently lapped at her nipple before sucking softly. Her hands started to scrabble at his back as he moved to the other side. She pulled his head back with a sharp tug of his hair as she surged forward to press her lips back to his. Her hands reached down to pull at the intricate laces and buckles on his jacket. Her nimble fingers making short work of it before pushing it off his shoulders and reaching down to pull the soft t-shirt off him. 

Her small hands running over his overheated skin sent shivers running down his spine. Her fingers traced the muscles on his back. She pulled back, looking into his eyes as her hands came back up to cup his face. “So handsome.” She whispered before lightly pressing her lips back to his. His own hands crawled back up her sides as she pulled back again. 

“The bed?” She asked. He didn’t have any words as he moved back to meet her lips. His hands found the back of her thighs and grabbed tight, he stood, lifting her with him. Her legs wrapped around his waist as he walked towards the bed. 

He set her gently against the soft sheets; set her down at the edge before laying her back. He stood back up his hand rubbing at the legs that still circled his hips. “So beautiful.” He said. One hand reaching out to trail down her torso, brushing softly against her breast as it traveled south from her collarbone. Goosebumps rose on her skin with his soft touch. His hands met at the waistband of the leggings she was wearing. He looked at her face again, fingers hesitating as they brushed over the skin at the top of her pants. 

She nodded again and his fingers disappeared under the soft fabric. Her head tossed back and her back arching as he traveled through the curls and met her wet heat. His thumb brushed against the nub of her clit quickly before pulling back out of her pants, a heedy groan falling from her lips. He pulled her legs from his waist before his fingers hooked into her waistband and he dragged them off her. He kneeled before her as his hands lifted to peel her underwear off her. She propped herself up on her elbows as she watched him for a moment. Her blue eyes were blown wide. “You don’t have to do that.” She said as she reached out for him with one hand.

He shied away from the hand that was intending to pull him back over her, pressing his cheek to her thigh. A soft gasp pulled from between her teeth as he grazed his lips over the soft skin there, a soft nip of his teeth followed. His own eyes looked back up to meet hers as he nuzzled against her leg. “You deserve to be worshiped.” his voice sounded wrecked as he whispered to her. “Let me worship you.” 

She nodded before leaning back on her elbows. He pressed forward. His lips trailing up the soft skin, just shy of her heat before mimicking the same on the other leg. She let her head drop back between her shoulders as she gasped, her fingers tightening on the sheets below her. He let his fingers spread her before him before he moved his face towards the warmth in front of him. His mouth worked her clit as he snuck his fingers into her, one at first, then two more. As he worked her higher her arms gave out and her hips began to writhe. He draped her legs over his shoulders before banding his arm over her hips to keep her from moving away from him. 

His eyes darted up as he worked her, the skin on her chest and face flushed with pleasure. Her eyes clenched shut tightly, her hands gripping the soft curls on his head as she pulled him closer to her. “Please.” She cried out. “More.” He picked up the pace as her cries echoed around him. She froze a moment before he felt her walls fluttering against his fingers, a silent scream falling from her lips as she clung to the hair still in her hands. 

He lapped at her, his fingers still moved slowly in and out until he felt her relax, the occasional shudder still racked her body. He pulled back from her before standing and moving next to her on the bed. Her soft expression looked tired as she stared up at him from hooded eyes. Her hand came up to wipe at the fluid that still coated his chin with her thumb. He grinned at her before turning his face to wipe it on the bed spread. She giggled softly before pressing her lips back to his. She sat up slightly before moving back towards the pillows at the top of the bed, his body chasing hers to keep from pulling away from her. 

When they stopped moving backwards, she flipped him over to his back before straddling him again. She pulled back from his lips sitting up over him, she slid his hands up her body to her breast before rocking her hips gently against his for a moment. He watched her scoot back down to sit on his thighs before she reached up to the tie at the waist of his pants, her eyes met his in question. He smiled at her before nodding, allowing her to unlace his pants and lifting his hips to help her pull them down. He pulled her back over him when the fabric reached his ankles, his own feet kicking the pants the rest of the way off. He gasped, head falling against the pillows, when her soft wet heat sat down over his throbbing cock. 

She rocked over him for a moment before sitting back and reaching her hand out to grasp him, standing him up to line up with her entrance. They both moaned as she sank down on him, her hands bracing on his chest, his own hands coming to rest atop hers. She rocked over him slowly for a moment before he reached out to run his hands over her. Her tempo picked up as she threw her head back, pushing her chest into his hands. 

“So good,” she said with her wrecked voice before leaning forward to kiss him. He banded his arms over her back as she kissed him. Lifting their hips off the bed to pound up into her. When he stopped to readjust his hold, she rolled her hips forward rocking against him. He reached down between them to thumb at her clit again and she keened at the sensation. He drove himself hard up into her again, one arm still holding her to him. 

She started to shake against him as he felt her walls clenching down hard. Her body seizing up for a moment before she was swept away with her orgasm. He thrust into her shaking body a few more times before a cry tore from his lips and he spilled up into her. 

They laid, intertwined, as they recovered, their chests heaving. She was draped over him as his hands rested lightly on her waist. She moaned when he softened enough to slip from her body without pulling away. 

Eventually he turned them on their sides and pulled the blankets over them. Her hands traced the designs of the tattoos on his shoulders until the lines dropped over his shoulder. His eyes slid shut at the soft feel of her hands on him. He pressed a light kiss to her damp shoulder.

The next time he opened his eyes, the sun was starting to peak over the horizon outside his room. He rolled over onto his stomach as he watched her sleep for a moment before his eyes closed again. 

He woke up some time later to the feel of her hands tracing the tattoos on his back, the soft sunlight of morning in full swing as it haloed her blonde head. When his eyes met hers from the cradle of his arms, she smiled, whispering “This is beautiful.” to him as her nails scraped lightly over the dark lines. 

“I got it on my Ascension Day,” He whispered back. “a circle for every Natblida that died when the Commander chose me.”

“7 circles,” the question was clear in her voice. “I thought you said there were 9 novitiates at your conclave.”

He nodded. “There were.”

“What happened to number 8?” She asked, her nails biting harder into his back sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Luna did not wish to fight. She fled instead.” He said before lifting himself up on his elbows. Her eyes darkened as she watched him. “Can we talk about something else?” He asked in a husky voice. 

“We don't have to talk at all.” She said breathily before she leaned down to kiss him again. He turned in her arms and they were lost in a tangle of limbs again.

\------------ 

Murphy could feel the blood crusting on his face, his eye swollen as Titus leered at him. “Please, listen to me, OK? I don’t know anything more about Clarke, alright? Listen, I don’t know anything.” He pleaded. “She is just a girl. I don’t know what you want me to tell you. We didn’t have spies in space.” 

“She must have something, some special training if she is turning the commander from the path.” Titus argued, chest heaving with frustration 

“I promise you. She’s just a girl.” He begged. As the crazed man raised his staff to lay into Murphy again. 

The next time Murphy woke Titus was kneeling in front of him. The chip held out in front of him. “Tell me about this, again.”

“I already told you everything I know the first 10 times you asked me.” He said, a tear leaking from his swollen eye. 

“What you told me doesn't make any sense.” He said standing. “How did a Sky Person come to be in possession of our most holy symbol?”

“Holy? It's a corporate logo. I told you!” Murphy cried. 

Titus brought his staff down into Murphy's side again. “Wrong. This is the sacred symbol of the commander to whom I've dedicated my life. Now, how did you get it?”

Murphy hunched over trying to catch his breath. Wanting to cradle his ribs but unable to because he was still chained to the floor. “Again, Jaha gave it to me.”

“This would be Chancellor Jaha.” Titus questioned.

“Yes.” Murphy nodded. “He told me it was the key to the City of Light and that if I swallowed it, the woman in red would take me there.”

“The woman who's not a woman.” Titus questioned again, his tone disbelieving.

“Yeah. That's right.” He nodded again. “She's a computer program, but I get that's hard for you to grasp, considering you pray to garbage, no offense, obviously.”

“Tell me more about this computer program that ended the world.” Titus said walking away from Murphy before turning sharply back to him.

“Come on. I don't have any details, Ok? On the Ark, they just told us it was countries, politics. Big surprise, they were wrong.” Murphy begged. “Please. I don’t know any more.”

“Wrong.” Titus said before swinging the staff down again.

\------------ 

Clarke gave Bellamy one last kiss before she pulled away from him with a soft smile on her lips. Opening the door to his room she headed back down to her room with a swing in her step, she was deliciously sore from the night before and this morning. 

The sight that met her when she entered her room sobered her quickly. Murphy was tied up, leaning heavily against the side of her bed, bruised and bloody, lacerations covered him from head to toe if the blood on his clothing was anything to go by. One eye was swollen shut and his lower lip was fattened. “Murphy?” she said as she moved towards him. His one good eye wide as he looked over her shoulder. 

“He's alive.” The sound of Titus’ voice startled her and she whirled around to look at him.

“What did you do to my friend?” She glared at him. 

“Your friend was caught stealing from people on their way to the Polis market.” He said matter of factly. 

Clarke turned away from Titus and moved towards her unmoving friend. “Hey, you're okay.” She soothed, one hand brushed his blood crusted hair out of his face before her hands moved down towards the rope. 

She had barely gotten one of his hands untied when Titus said, “Please don't do that.” in a voice that crawled over her. She turned slowly to meet his vicious stare. Titus had a pistol in his hand. 

“Titus,” She raised her hands as she stood. “What is this about?”

“I'm sorry it had to come to this Clarke. Truly I am.” He said, almost sounding as if he truly believed that. “Bellamy will never execute his duty if you live.”

“Hey! Titus, think.” She begged as she backed up, putting herself in front of Murphy. “He is gonna know it was you.”

“He'll think it was him. Skaikru weapon in the hands of a Skaikru thief.” He said, eyes wild as he pointed the gun at her with a steady hand. “He might be angry enough to declare war!”

He pulled the trigger a couple times and Clarke was thankful he had never shot a gun before, the kickback pulling his aim away from her. She hissed when one grazed her shoulder as she dropped to the ground, covering Murphy with her body. 

The sound must have drawn Bellamy from his room because he strode in shirtless, she could still see the marks from her nails on his shoulder. The sound of the door bouncing off the wall pulled Titus around as his finger was pulling the trigger and Clarke watched with horrified eyes as a bullet tore through him. “Bellamy!” She screamed. 

Titus dropped the gun in a daze as he called out softly. “Heda.” as Bellamy fell to the ground. 

“No, no!” She cried as she moved towards him quickly. Pressing her hand to his wound as he hissed from the pain. Clarke turned to Titus. “Help me get him to the bed!”

Titus moved to help her lift him off the ground. He gently placed him on the bed and Clarke’s hands fluttered uselessly over him. She clenched her eyes shut before opening them and turning to Titus. “Okay, I need something to stop the bleeding!” She turned back to Bellamy. “You'll be okay. Just lie still, okay. Lie still.”

“Don't be afraid.” He said as he lifted a hand to brush the hair off her face. 

“You're gonna be fine. Just stay still.” She promised, tears falling rapidly from her eyes. Before she rounded on Titus. “Untie him and then I need suture and bring me one of the novitiates and, and, um, a needle and some tubing.” 

Titus turned to untie Murphy who stood up and looked at Clarke helplessly. She moved to make room for Murphy to press his hand where hers had been. She moved over to the radio that her mother had left her. She noted that Titus had moved out of the room and she only hoped that he was doing as she asked. Her hand shook as she called out to her mother. 

“Arkadia, This is Clarke Griffin. I need to speak with my mother now. Please, Please, put Abby Griffin on the radio now.” She repeated herself two more times before Raven came over the radio. Her voice sounded pleasant as if they were about to be discussing the weather and not the terror at which she felt. “Raven, please get my mother, fast. Bellamy’s been shot and I need her to talk me through this.” 

“Yeah, sure.” The next 10 minutes were the most painful of her life. Clarke moved back to the bed sitting down and combing the hair off his forehead. Right as Abby came on the radio sounding confused, Titus returned with Aden. 

“Mom?” Clarke said with tears in her voice as she closed her eyes pushing the tears back from her eyes. “Bellamy has been shot.”

“Where?” Her mother’s voice gave her strength as she described the injury. Murphy helped her to roll him up to see if there was an exit wound, when Clarke said that there was, her mom reassured her that was a good thing. 

“Mom, He's losing too much blood.” Clarke said before turning to him. “Stay with me, please, Bellamy, just hold on. I will fix you, just stay with me.”

“You need to get the bleeding under control first. Then we can worry about the volume. You need to reach in and make sure you don’t feel a torn artery.” Abby coached her. “You’ve done this before. You can do this.” 

Clarke nodded before she took a deep breath, apologizing to Bellamy before driving her finger into his wound. His cry of pain made her heart clench. “I don’t think there is any, but I can’t tell.” 

“Okay good, if you don’t think there is one then there probably isn’t. Okay you need to close the wound with sutures. And then you will need to get some blood in him. I’m going to go find Kane and we will head your way. We were planning on being there for the wedding anyway, but we will just come early. I’ll be there by morning, be strong, baby girl.” 

Abby clicked off before Clarke turned to Murphy and hugged him tightly. “You are going to have to hold him down while I do this. It’s going to hurt him.” Clarke pulled back. “Aden, Titus. I need you to hold his legs down.” They nodded and moved to hold him down. 

Clarke took a deep breath and just as she was about to drive the needle in Titus’s voice startled her. “Forgive me, Heda.”

“You will never again attempt to harm Clarke.” He said firmly to Titus. “Swear it.”

“I swear it.” Titus promised.

Bellamy nodded. “Then do your job. Serve the next as you have served me, Flame keeper.”

“Hey,” Clarke rounded on him. “don't you dare give up.”

“I'm not. My spirit will live on.” He said, closing his eyes. 

“No.” she cried. “I'm not letting you die.”

“The next Commander will protect you.” He promised. 

She shook her head, wiping the tears from her face. “I don't want the next Commander. I want you.” She said as she leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. “Okay, hold him.” She turned to start the sutures and a scream tore from his throat, before he passed out. 

Her eyes kept track of the slow pace of his breathing while she worked. His breath stuttering as they flipped him caused her heart to clench. By the time she had finished working on closing up the hole in him his pulse was thready from the lost blood. She turned back to Titus and Aden. “You may need to get another nightblood. He may need more than I can safely take from Aden.”

Titus nodded before leaving. Clarke sat Aden down and started working on pulling blood from him. She pulled as much as she felt comfortable from him before moving to put it into Bellamy. By the time the blood was all in Bellamy, Titus had returned with another novitiate and Clarke repeated the procedure. After the second transfusion he looked to be much more stable. Clarke told Titus to clear the room and feed the kids who would be woozy from giving blood and that he was to wait at the gates of Polis for her mother to arrive and bring her straight here. 

Clarke hugged Murphy one last time before telling him to crash on the couch. She crawled up to the bed and laid down next to Bellamy, her hand clutching his. Her eyes tracing his pale face and hoping that he survived long enough for her mother to get here. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun DUNNNNNN... Will he survive? 
> 
> Well lets not be silly of course he will....


	19. You Can Run, You Can Hide, But You Can’t Escape My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She closed her eyes for a moment and there were tears in her eyes when she opened them, not meeting his eyes. “This was my fault. My fault that you got hurt.” 
> 
> “No.” He said so sternly she looked back in shock. “This was Titus’ fault. You are not responsible for his actions. We made a plan. A good plan and it gets everyone everything they need. And we get each other, and I think that is the best part.”
> 
> The tears started to fall from her eyes and he swiped at them with his thumb as he set his hand against her cheek. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you. That I wasn’t going to be able to save you.” She whispered turning to press a kiss against his palm. 
> 
> “But you did. I’m here and we have our whole lives ahead of us.” She nodded before moving forward to press her soft lips against his, pulling back when he groaned low in his throat. “No it was not from pain. I just want you but I’m too tired.”
> 
> She laughed before pressing another kiss to his lips before snuggling into him again. “Then rest and I will be here when you wake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I know I took longer than normal to get this chapter out. Unfortunately I had to put one of my horses down unexpectedly this week and I struggled to get anything written. So I apologize in advance if this chapter sucks or if there are a ton of mistakes. 
> 
> I can't promise I'll get the next chapter out any faster as I'm still trying to deal with my own shit over here. 
> 
> Please note: this chapter has a moment of explicit content toward the end if you choose to skip it.

The feeling of warmth surrounded Clarke as she started to wake. She longed to bask in the shallow feeling of comfort that flooded her brain in those moments before waking. She could feel the shallow rise and fall of a chest behind her where most of the heat radiated from and she turned towards it. She wormed her way further into the warmth.

Her face scrunched in confusion as she heard the rustling of clothes on the leather of the couch as she tried to figure out why there was another person in the room with her and Bellamy. Her tear crusted eyes finally blinked open to see the blood-stained linen that still wrapped Bellamy’s chest and the horrible realization of what had happened crashed over her. A gasp came involuntarily to her lips, she pressed her face into the warmth of his side as she covered her mouth to hide the sob that begged to be ripped from her mouth. 

The slamming of a door against the wall pulled another gasp from her as she jerked away from Bellamy. The sound of hurried feet moving towards the bed had Clarke sitting up and staring into the green eyes of Bellamy’s sister. She could see Murphy jumping to his feet from the periphery of her eye. Clarke shifted to her knees as Octavia closed in on them, their hands reaching out to Bellamy at the same time. Clarke’s fingers threading through his, Octavia’s dancing lightly over his chest. 

Their eyes met again, though no words left their lips. The two women had a silent conversation that was interrupted when Murphy moved towards the bed. A quiet, “how is he?” falling from his lips as he watched Clarke. 

Clarke turned to look at Bellamy as she brushed his hair off his forehead and felt for a fever. “I don’t know, but I would feel better if he would wake up.” She met Murphy’s questioning gaze. “My mother would have done a better job. She would know what to do.” 

“You did fine, Clarke.” Octavia jumped in before Murphy could get a word in. “He’s strong. He will survive.”

She blew out a breath of air and her hair fluttered around her face. “Well, I’ll still feel better when my mother has a look at him. She should be here within hours.” She moved off the bed and asked Octavia to keep an eye on him so she could look over Murphy’s injuries that she’d neglected last night. 

Pulling Murphy back towards the couch she made him sit down and strip off his shirt as she moved towards the door, asking the guard outside to bring her some supplies. When he returned with fresh bandages, clean water and some sort of salve, Clarke thanked him and moved back into the room. “What happened to you, Murphy? And I don’t just mean your immediate injuries. We were about to go to war with the Grounders and you and Jaha and 12 others just disappeared. Jaha returned about a week or so ago, by the way. I thought you were dead when you weren’t back at camp.”

His eyes widened in surprise at the sniffle she tried to cover up by moving to the injuries on his back. He settled his hand on her knee for a moment offering a smug smile as he asked, “You miss me, Princess?”

She gave a watery laugh. “I told you not to call me that, but of course I did. So much has happened. We needed you. I needed you.”

“I’m sorry, Clarke but Jaha was up to something and I couldn’t let him go on his own and risk everything that you had just done to try and protect us.” He shrugged. “I couldn’t let Finn’s death mean nothing because Jaha decided to be our ‘savior’ again.”

She laid her hand gently on his shoulder for a moment before moving to wrap his cracked ribs. “What happened while you were gone?” 

His shoulders slumped forward as he moved to rest his arms against his knees. He told her about crossing the dead lands and how they lost everyone except him and Jaha. He told her about being stuck in the lighthouse for 86 days and running out of food about what he almost did. He told her about finding Jaha with the A.I., that she was the one that ended the world not politics like they thought. “And now Jaha has her in his head and I’m worried about what they will do.”

“Huh?” she asked as she pushed her hair back. Her eyes flicked to Octavia who had been not so subtly listening in from where she was seated on the bed, her hand still clasped onto her brother’s. “So that is what Jaha was trying to sell when we saw them back at camp. We need to warn my mom when she gets here.”

“So, what did I miss while I was gone? Last thing I remember you wanted to kill him for what he made you do to Finn; I wasn’t expecting the turn around.”

She snorted in amusement at his casual tone, as if they weren’t discussing tragedy. “Well, we got our alliance at the cost of Finn’s life, and right as we were going to free our people, Mount Weather offered them a deal, hundreds of their people would be released if they pulled back and left our people there.” She looked down at her hands. “He took the deal. I was able to get in, find Wells and Monty. Then I killed their president in cold blood so his son could hear it over the radio. I hoped he would let our people go but he didn’t and then I pulled the lever that irradiated the whole mountain. I killed them all, Murphy. They didn’t give me a choice.”

She looked up at him and blinked the tears in her eyes away, some slipped past down her cheeks. She heard Octavia suck in a pained breath and Clarke turned her eyes towards the grounder girl who looked ashamed. “Octavia defied her brother and stayed to help.” Clarke’s eyes softened as she smiled at the girl and mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her. 

Murphy’s body was rigid with tension. “I don’t understand. How did you get from there to here? I would have killed him.”

“I wanted to, for a long time. But he ended up saving me. The Grounders began to believe I was a Wanheda, a commander of death, and as such I had powers that the Azgaden Queen wanted. She wanted to take over the coalition by killing Bellamy and in order to do that she wanted to kill me.”

She told him all about what had happened with the queen and Roan. She told him about finding Pike and losing the people in the mountain. She told him about Emerson and everything he had missed. “So, we became the 13th clan and he and I entered into an arranged marriage so they can never leave us defenseless again.” She looked at Murphy who looked confused by her tone as she dropped the last bombshell about what she was in the process of doing for their people, who had shunned her for what she had done in the mountain. “He’s not who I thought he was, Murphy. He was just trying to do the same thing I was - we were. He was just trying to save his people. We have done horrible things to each other.” 

“I don’t understand, Princess. Why do this for people who are too selfish to care about you. People who left you alone to make so many sacrifices for them.” He looked genuinely confused and frustrated for her. 

“I asked her the same thing.” A weak Bellamy said from the bed. The surprise gasp from Octavia told her that no one had noticed him waking. 

Clarke darted towards the bed and her hands came up to cup his face. “You're awake.” She whispered.

His grin answered her back as he raised a hand to rest over hers a wince playing over his face as he pulled against sore muscles. “Seems so,” he paused for a moment, a playfulness danced in his eyes. “Princess.”

She groaned but the tears in her eyes dripped down onto his chest. “Not you too.” She said as she pressed her forehead to his. “I’m so glad you’re awake.”

“Me too.” He whispered as he leaned up slightly to press his lips lightly to hers. 

She pulled back after only a moment, remembering that they weren’t alone. Her blushing face turned to meet Octavia’s smug grin. A soft smile floated on Murphy’s battered face. “I see why now.” was all he said. 

Octavia took a moment to lean down and say something to him in their language only some of which Clarke understood. Her hand clasped onto Clarke’s shoulder for a moment before she turned to leave. She paused at the door before turning to look at Clarke and Bellamy with a playful grin. “I expect the wedding is still on and that you will be up and walking around in the next 2 days. Otherwise you will disappoint a lot of people. Mostly me, because I’ve done a lot of work on this.” And with that she turned and left a blushing set of commanders and a loudly laughing Murphy. 

\------------ 

Clarke stayed at his side for hours with his hand clasped in hers, only slipping her fingers from his when his generals came in to meet with him. They had a worker move Murphy into a room of his own where he could recuperate. Several hours after he’d woken up, Titus arrived with Clarke’s mother who looked over the wound as he stared down the Flame keeper who refused to make eye contact with him. He could hear Clarke’s mother praising her for the job she had done on his wound and he was inclined to agree with her, he was after all still alive. 

Titus turned to leave, pausing when Bellamy called to him. “I expect you to call back Gaia and finish her training, you will answer for what you have done, Titus.” 

“Yes, Heda.” He left the room, Clarke’s mom followed him out of the room to check on Murphy.

They were finally alone again. “This was not how I was planning for the day to go.” He said which brought a chuckle to her lips. 

“Yes, I would imagine getting shot was not on your list of things to do after having some really great sex.” She agreed, her voice husky with amusement. He laughed at her before groaning when he jostled his aching muscles. “Shit, sorry Bell.”

“It’s okay, princess.” He said, resting his hand on her thigh.

“Ugh,” She rolled her eyes at him. “You know I’m not a princess, right? We don’t have kings or queens on the ark. We have a council and a chancellor. It’s all pretty democratic if I’m being honest.” 

He chuckled again but softer. “Well, I think I’ll keep the nickname, if it’s all the same to you. You are my Princess.”

She flushed and ducked her head, her fingers traced the veins on his hand, sending tingles up his arms and raising goosebumps on his skin. He turned his hand over in hers and gripped at her fingers, drawing her eyes back to his. The pink still playing over her cheeks. 

“We should move back to my room. Let them clean up the blood from the room.” He said as he stared into her ocean eyes. 

She nodded. “Let me get one of the guards to help you up.”

He watched her move towards the door, already longing for her to be back at his side. His eyes roamed over her as he watched her return with the guard that helped him to his feet. She trailed after him to his room to make sure that he was comfortable before letting the guard return to post duty outside his room. He reached out for her, gently pulling her into his side upon the bed, hissing slightly when he jarred his wound, straining his muscles. 

She started to pull away when he groaned at the protest his aching body gave with each movement. He put his hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her back to the bed. “Wait, I’ll be okay once I get settled.”

“You should have gotten settled when the guard was here to help you.” She said petulantly but didn’t move away anymore.

“I was settled.” She was warm against the chill he felt, ‘blood loss’ Abby had explained. “But you weren’t in bed with me, then.” He said with a cheeky smile.

She sighed before reaching down to pull the covers up over both of them. Her hand moved to rest on the exposed skin of his abdomen as she curled further into him. “Well now I’m here and you should rest. You need to get some sleep and when you wake, I’ll have them bring you some food and water.” 

He didn’t close his eyes as he nodded at her. His eyes did not leave her face as he twisted again to face her more fully, trying to keep the wince from his face. He reached a hand out to smooth over the worry that lined her face. “You saved me.”

She closed her eyes for a moment and there were tears shining when she opened them, not meeting his stare. “This was my fault. My fault that you got hurt.” 

“No.” She looked at him in shock at the steel in his voice. “This was Titus’ fault. You are not responsible for his actions. We made a plan. A _ good _ plan and it gets everyone everything they need. And we get each other, and I,” He paused to brush her hair off her face. “think that is the best part.”

The tears started to fall from her eyes, and he swiped at them with his thumb as he set his hand against her cheek. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you. That I wasn’t going to be able to save you.” She whispered, turning to press a kiss against his palm. 

“But you did. I’m here and we have our whole lives ahead of us.” She nodded before moving forward to press her soft lips against his, pulling back when he groaned low in his throat. “No, it was not from pain. I just want you but I’m too tired.”

She laughed, pressing another chaste kiss to his lips before snuggling into him again. “Then rest and I will be here when you wake.” 

\------------ 

The sound of heavy footsteps woke her up but instead of moving away from Bellamy who was thankfully still sleeping she just raised her head to look at Lincoln who was moving towards the bed. “Octavia sent me to find you. She said something about a dress fitting.” 

She looked at Bellamy, almost nervously, before she could tell him to let Octavia know she would go later, he added. “I will stay with him and let him know where you have gone.” 

“Or, I already know because my best friend makes more noise that a warrior of his stature should.” Bellamy said without opening his eyes. His arms tightened around her waist before releasing her. 

“Okay. I will have them send you some food. Lincoln please make sure he drinks a lot of water if he is going to stay awake. It will help with the blood loss.” She squeezed the hand that had slipped down to her thigh when she sat up before sliding out of the bed. 

She turned to look back at the pair of men who were having a whispered conversation before exiting the room. Stopping only to tell the guard to get the Heda some breakfast and drinking water. 

When she met Octavia in her room, she was surprised to see her mother in there as well. “Mom?”

“Oh, Clarke, the dress is beautiful.” She gushed, and Clarke raised an eyebrow to Octavia who just shrugged. 

“Time for the bride to try it on.” Octavia said before moving to the side so Clarke could move behind the screen Octavia had set up.

Clarke stepped behind the screen, surprised the dressmaker was already there, directing her to undress and to remove her bra. The dress was scrunched down so she could step into the delicate fabric. The dressmaker lifted the dress and began to make adjustments as she laid the fabric over Clarke’s body. She looked down to see the structured bodice wrapped over her chest and tucking into the waistband at the sides of the dress, leaving her back exposed. The skirt of the gown was tight to her sides before flaring out as it reached her knees.

With the final adjustments pinned the dressmaker shooed her out from behind the curtain so the others could see, and she could see herself in the mirror. She felt the tears well in her eyes as she took in the pale fabric that was molded to her skin. The intricate lace that laid over the smooth fabric underneath. The bodice that wrapped her in and made her waist look smaller than it had ever looked. The soft fall of fabric off her shoulders, resting gently on her arms, allowed only a modest amount of cleavage to show. The long train that trailed behind her. 

“Octavia. This is perfect.” She said as she met the green eyes in the mirror as Octavia approached her from behind, a wisp of material in her hands which she lifted to drape over Clarke’s head.

“Now, it’s perfect.” She said, moving off to the side again.

Clarke could hear her mother’s tears as she moved so Clarke could see her in the mirror. It was clear that she wanted to say something but didn’t want to ruin the shaky peace they had. “Mom?” She whispered softly. “I wish Dad was here to see this.”

“Me too, sweetheart.” Abby agreed as she sniffled despite the wide smile on her face. “Me too.”

They both turned back to look at the stunning dress in the mirror for a moment before the dressmaker called her back so that she could take the dress to make the final preparations. Abby pulled her into a hug before she moved away saying she was leaving to check both of the boy’s injuries again. 

When Clarke returned to Bellamy’s room, he was resting in bed again and true to his word, Lincoln was still there, a book in hand. Letting it thump closed when she rested her hand gently on his shoulder. He gave her an easy smile as he stood from his seat and left without a word. 

“Princess?” Bellamy’s groggy voice called. 

She moved towards the bed. “I’m here Bell.” She said as she crawled up beside him, resting her head on the pillow next to him. 

“Good.” He said, rolling towards her with a groan. 

“I really wish you wouldn’t move so much.” She told him before pressing a kiss to his lips. “My mother should be here to check your wound shortly.”

He hummed, finally opening his eyes to look at her. “How was the dress?”

“Oh, Bell. It was beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see me in it.” She said as she snuggled into him further. “Did you have a good visit with Lincoln?”

He smiled at the change of subject. “Yes, it was good. We talked about a lot of things that needed discussing.” 

“Good.” She said, pressing her lips against his again more firmly. His hand found its way into her hair and no more words were shared until a knock at the door announced her mother.

\------------ 

The next 36 hours flew by, having slept through most of it, and before he knew it, he was getting dressed in the formal outfit of the commander. Dress armor was gently laid over his shoulder and extra padding was layered over his wound to soften the press of the metal against it. He pressed the sign of the commander between his brows and allowed Lincoln to paint his face for the wedding. 

Bellamy followed Titus to the dais that had been arranged so people could watch the joining of their two people. Titus stood at the altar; his book laid open in front of him. The pale ceremonial robes floated around his lanky form in the soft breeze of the midmorning. Bellamy gritted his teeth as he looked at the Flame keeper, his anger at what he had tried to do, clenched his jaw. Turning away he looked out to the sea of faces, most of them his people. He saw a pocket of Sky people off to the side near where Clarke would stand. Wells and Kane stood around Abby who looked as if she had already been crying; the older man had his hand resting on her shoulder as she leaned towards him. 

Murphy who looked marginally better than he had the last time he’d seen him, and significantly better than when he’d been tied up, leaning against Clarke’s bed. His lips were twisted up in a smirk as Bellamy met his eye, a waste lander girl at his side. The voice of the singer, rose above the din, drawing his eye to the end of the aisle. 

His breath staggered in his chest when she appeared, Lincoln and Octavia trailing behind her. The veil over her head was sheer but the layered fabric obscured him from getting a good look at her. The dress fit to her form tightly before flaring out at the knee, he could see her bare feet kicking out from under the dress every so often as she made her way to him. When she neared him, he held out his hand to her, drawing her up the steps to stand in front of him. 

Titus’ voice rose and fell in the lilting way of the Flame keepers as he talked about traditions that were being upheld by him and Clarke, though he hardly listened as his eyes roamed Clarke’s figure in the gorgeous dress. He could see her wide smile beneath the veil and the heavy makeup that adorned her face. He struggled to contain his own answering smile, still aware that their people were watching them and that this was to be a political marriage to them, a sacrifice that they were making for their people.

He ran his thumb across the back of her hand that rested in his. He could feel her heavy gaze on him from under the veil as her own thumb danced along his hand. Titus clearing his throat brought him slightly out of his daze, he spoke the words to Clarke, pledging himself to her and her people unconditionally. She repeated them back, her mastery of their language was slightly surprising and the smug look on her veiled face told him she knew just how unexpected it was. 

Finally, he was told to pull the veil back off her face, allowing him to get his first good glimpse of her. The heavy paint on her face was drawing the focus to her intense blue eyes, making them stand out, sharp against the paleness of her skin. Her smile which had been wide when she was covered tightened to only a small hint of the glee that radiated from her eyes. 

A knife was given to him. As the words were recited over them, he turned her hand over, drawing the blade over her palm, enough for her red blood to pool in her palm before handing the knife to her. She turned his hand over drawing the knife over his, the sting of the knife was barely noticeable against the happiness he felt. They turned to the crowd with heads held high before clasping their hands together, blood dripping between their fingers to the ground below. 

“As your blood mingles, as this tie binds,” Titus said as he tied their bleeding hands together. “I now proclaim your union sealed. May your two people know only peace from here on.” 

A cheer rose from the crowd. Louder than he’d expected given the hatred of the sky people that had seemed to permeate every crevice of Polis. The cry of “Heda” and “Wanheda” chased them as they moved towards the tower where a small feast was prepared for his closest advisors, generals and the contingent of sky people.

They wandered ahead of the group that was to follow shortly. He laced their fingers together as they entered the hidden hallways of the tower, even as the tie bound them. Bellamy looked back to make sure they were still alone for the moment before pulling Clarke into his chest. His free hand caressed her cheek and pulled her closer as he dipped down to meet her lips. Their smiles interrupted the kiss before it could build in intensity. 

“My wife.” He breathed against her lips with a smile. His nose running along hers. 

She chuckled, “My husband.” Her hand reached up to rest against his chest.

The sound of footsteps approaching had them pulling back and straightening themselves before preceding into the formal dining room. They moved towards the marriage seat at the head of the table. Their fingers lacing once they were out of sight once again. His thumb traced hers softly. The conversation that flowed between their people was surprisingly civil and he could tell that Clarke was struggling as much as he was to pay attention to the conversations that were meant to distract them from what was a strained political marriage.

But her toes continued to trace up and down his leg and her knees nudged his every so often, distracting him. He was no better as he moved their linked hands closer to her dragging a finger up and down the outside of her thigh, being mindful of their still bleeding hands, so as not to get blood on her ivory dress. Her legs clenched tightly as her eyes met his intense stare before they dropped to her lap watching the action. He sucked in a quiet breath before turning away from her, praying for the dinner to finish more quickly

\------------ 

They were expected to keep their hands tied together through the first night of the marriage. “To build a strong partnership for the many years that would come before them.” Titus had explained to her while he explained their customs around marriage, being that they didn’t hold marriage ceremonies for couples that chose their own partners. They were expected to consummate the marriage within that first 24-hour window while they were still bound together. Though his words had left her blushing when he explained she had thought that would be no problem for them until she found herself walking hand in hand to their bedroom. 

Two attendants followed them, helping them to undress while they maintained the connection as best they could, linking their free hands when they untied the rope to free their clothes from the bound side before tying them back together. She was clothed in thin white fabric that was almost sheer as it draped down to her feet. The fabric slipped over her head and tied at her sides and no undergarments were left on. When she turned to look at Bellamy, he was similarly clothed, though he looked more at ease than she felt.

Before the attendants left, they set up screens to hide the bed and she heard the scraping of chairs behind the screen. She looked over to Bellamy as they climbed into the bed, a little more awkward with their hands still linked. She knew that they would have people in the room for this to confirm that they had “consummated”, but she couldn’t stop the blush from rising to her cheeks. 

“Are you sure we should be doing this with your injury?” She whispered to him as they rolled into each other. His hand cupping her face as he looked down into her eyes that were now clear of the heavy paint that had been on her for the ceremony, though the intricate braids had been left. 

She could hear the sound of someone getting settled and she prayed it was not her mother as the Skaikru representative. Her blush grew deeper as he reminded her quietly, they didn’t have a choice. She sucked in a deep breath as she nodded. 

“Hey,” he whispered, rubbing his thumb on the fragile skin under her eye. “We can do this. It’s just once and then we have our whole life ahead of us. And after tonight what happens behind our doors is just for us.” 

She exhaled as she nodded. “Okay.”

He pressed his forehead to hers and the feel of his nose rubbing against hers sent tingles sliding down her back. She pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. He ran his thumb over her cheek again. “I know you're uncomfortable, but I’ll try to make this good for you.” 

She smiled in thanks as she closed her eyes pressing herself closer to him, their tied hands laced together between them. “Don’t make it too good.” She whispered back with a small chuckle. “We don’t want them to know we’ve done this before.”

He laughed quietly but it was loud in her ear as he trailed his free hand up and down her side before slipping in between the fabric ties to rest against her skin. She tried to let herself get lost in the feel of his hand on her, but the sound of other’s breathing beyond the screen kept her from being able to completely let go. 

Reaching down between the folds of his garment, she palmed his length, deciding that she was going to take this into her own hands and get this over and done with so they could move forward, away from the awkwardness. He groaned at the first touch of her hand, dropping his head backwards against the pillow with a softly muttered, “shit.” Her hand moved quicker as she started to feel him harden against her palm. 

“Slow down, Clarke.” He murmured as he grabbed her wrist, slowing her movements. 

She shook her head as she pushed him over to his back before straddling him, her lips pressing against his for a moment. She reached down between them and pulled up the flowy material out from between her legs, bunching it up around her waist before pulling his clothing up to expose him to the air. She lowered herself over him allowing her heat to slide against his still hardening member, trying to get her own body to get ready. 

She hadn’t realized she had closed her eyes until she felt him run his thumb under her eye again. “Look at me, Clarke.” He commanded her softly. “There is no rush.”

She leaned down towards him as she continued to undulate against him, his own eyes closing before he flashed them back up towards her face. She pressed her lips to his again for a long moment. “I’m going to be uncomfortable for this no matter what you do. Just let me get this over with before I can’t and then we can move forward and you can have me however you want. Plus, if I do all the heavy lifting then I don’t have to worry about your stitches getting pulled.”

He looked at her for a moment though he couldn’t stop the groan from falling off his lips before he closed his eyes and nodded. When she reached down between them, he was still not fully hard and she could tell he was just as uncomfortable as she was, but he was hard enough to get through this. She sank down onto him and she struggled to keep her own groan from falling off her lips at the sensation. 

She moved her hips over him as she increased her pace. “Fuck, Clarke.” He muttered. “Slow down.”

She felt his hand move up her leg before he pressed his thumb against her clit. She couldn’t stop the squeal that left her lips though she pressed her hand to her mouth hoping to clamp down on any more noises. She couldn’t slow her breathing though as she felt him groan underneath her, his thumb still stroking in time with each movement of her hips. 

“Clarke, I’m close.” He whispered.

She leaned over him again, to whisper, “It’s okay, you feel so good in me, but I’m not going to get there tonight.” He picked up the pace of his thumb and she groaned in his ear. “It’s okay. You can finish and make it up to me when they leave.” 

She pulled their laced, bound hands above them as she pressed harder and faster on to him. He pressed back into the pillow below him groaning, his hand falling free of her clit. His hips pressed up into her as he came, a groan falling off his lips, her own groan matching his as she felt him thick and warm inside as he shuddered below her. When there was only heavy breathing between him, she moved off him and nestled into his shoulder. 

The sound of the two people who had been present, leaving the room, met her ears before she sighed into his shoulder. When they heard the door click closed Bellamy, pressed a kiss to her head before he trailed down her body disappearing underneath the fabric of her gown and between her thighs. Their bound hands laying at her side. He pressed his tongue down hard against her and when the first finger on his free hand entered her, his pace fast and relentless, she forgot everything but his name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a couple people have asked where I'm going with this and honestly I'm not sure,. I know A.L.I.E is still going to be the big bad for this season, same with Jaha just like in the show. As to how I'm going to do that I'm still figuring it out as I go, I have a vague idea about how to get there but I'm not sure how I'm going to flesh this out. . SOOOOO.. if you have anything in particular you would like to see please let me know. Drop a comment, send me a message, I'll accept messenger pigeons as well. :D lol


	20. You Should Know, It’s Hard To Forget the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next week was more than she could have hoped for, it was better than she could have ever expected when they first fell to earth. But the reality of Earth caught up with them with the crackle of a staticky radio from Clarke’s bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry y’all! I had to step away from this for a minute to get my head on straight but I’m back... I’m gunna try and crank out the next chapter by the weekend... 
> 
> Stay tuned!

The next few days were a whirlwind of activity, the Skaikru congregation left hours after breakfast was served and when Murphy was unable to meet Clarke’s eyes with the blush on his cheeks and she just knew he was the one in their room the night before. The rest of the Polis petered off, back into the groove of normal, peaceful life. Bellamy and her stayed up in their room for two days after Skaikru left, getting lost in each other. 

When they finally emerged from the tower, Bellamy took her wandering through the marketplace. Though they made sure to keep the facade up, they couldn’t seem to stop touching each other, knuckles brushing against each other as they walked, a hand placed on a lower back as they looked around one another at the items on a vendor’s tables. And everywhere they went, their people congratulated them, wanting to give them something to honor their sacrifice for peace. 

She watched as Bellamy handled the many offers for gifts, his kindness and intelligence showing through at every interaction, turning down the large extravagant ones in favor of a smaller one, always handing over money though the vendors tried to refuse it. She was in awe of him, her heart fluttered, and she couldn’t deny that she was falling for him. This man in front of her was not who she would have expected when she learned of him. 

They strolled the market for hours before they came upon an artist. His beautiful paintings displayed haphazardly. Bellamy almost breezed by him on their way back towards the tower, until she stopped him with a small tug on the cuff on his jacket. She didn’t say anything to him as she dropped his arm and moved closer to view the gorgeous works. The serene view of a waterfall meeting a quiet river, surrounded by the most beautiful flowers caught her eye. She could almost hear the water as it bubbled over the rocks. Her hand wanted to reach out and touch the flowers. 

“I know where that is.” Bellamy said as he reached around to pull the painting the rest of the way out of the stack. The sight of two lovers embraced on the banks that had been hidden before, had her pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “It’s just as beautiful in person.”

She looked up at him and he gave her a soft smile, his fingers briefly intertwining with hers before he turned back to the painter. She watched him speak with the man who’s smile only grew wider and wider as Bellamy went on and on. They seemed to come to some agreement that she only half understood, but it seemed like there was going to be new paintings delivered to them soon. 

They turned and continued their trek back to the tower just in time to meet with his advisors over dinner, their feet playing under the table as they talked of politics and meetings that were upcoming. When they were finally alone for the day, she collapsed into his arms on their bed. “It was a good day today, Bellamy. Thank you for showing me that.”

“It was my pleasure, but I was thinking that there is more I would like to show you. The place in the painting should be in the final weeks of blooming. I would love to take you and show you.” He said as he stroked her back, his large hand sending chills down her spine. 

“That would be nice, but what about everything here? We already spent the last three days sheltered from the outside world.”

He nodded. “That’s true but most of the time I don’t get to spend but one day a month meeting with my people in the market, and the same amount receiving people here. We could push meetings back and get out of the city for two weeks. I could show you where I grew up, where Lincoln and O have made their home. We could be just Bellamy and Clarke, two people who just got married and are enjoying each other.”

“Two people who are falling in love?” She asked, as she looked away from him. Afraid for what she would find on his face in response to her timid question. 

His hand gripped her chin, turning her face up towards his, a wide grin plastered on his face. “Yes.” he said breathily. 

“We could be those people here.” She whispered back, her heart in her throat as she leaned up, closer to him. 

“Why do that here, when I could have you all to myself?” he asked her, his tone turning husky. She hummed in response before pressing her lips to his and the rest of the conversation fell away.

\------------ 

Bellamy woke up early as he did every morning, rolling over, he pulled Clarke closer to his chest. She nuzzled her head under his chin before settling back into sleep. He’d come to understand that she was not a morning person. He let his hands trail up and down her back as he watched the goosebumps rise on her naked flesh. A smile that he couldn’t contain broke out on his face. 

He knew that the peace of the last several days couldn’t last forever, but he wanted to make the most of these next few weeks. Last night his words had been said on a whim of wanting to make her happy. Now that he considered it, he knew he could make this work. He just needed to get Indra and a couple others on board. 

Sighing, he pulled away from Clarke, pulling the sheets back over her. He got dressed and headed to make the plans, to beg off from the responsibilities of the commander if just for a while. He knew they wouldn’t want them to leave by themselves, but he had a promise to keep to his wife, that they would keep their private life private from now on. And he was going to need that alone time to bring her lots of pleasure. 

In the end, it hadn’t taken much convincing on Indra’s part, her usually closed down countenance twinkled with dimly repressed mirth. She shooed him on his way with a sly grin as she told him not to leave his girl waiting for him long because if Clarke was anything like her, she’d give him hell to pay for making her wake up alone. He knew then that Octavia and her old mentor had been gossiping once again and he only hoped they’d done it in a way that would bring him more trouble, from his new wife or their still contentious people. 

\------------ 

When she woke, it was to a cold, empty bed and Bellamy seemed to have been long gone, though the blankets that were covering her naked body were pulled up to her ears. She rolled over to see that breakfast had been set out on the table and she moved to drape her robe loosely over her naked body. As she was combing her fingers through her hair, moving towards the table, Bellamy walked in through the door. He was fully dressed with the sign of the commander pressed firmly to his brow. She smiled widely at him as she watched his eyes drink in the slivers of skin that peeked out from the still open rope as he met her at the table.

“You should get dressed and pack lightly.” He grinned just as wide, his hand traveled the small space between them to gently caress the skin of her waist under the robe, he gave her side a squeeze before he pulled away to sit at the table before her. “I’ve cleared the next two weeks. You and I are going to get out of here.”

She bit her lip as she sat across from him, running her bare foot up his leg, drawing his pant leg up with it. “Really? Just us?” 

He nodded, leaning forward to kiss her. “Yes.” Was all he said before he pressed another kiss to her lips. He pulled back and let her eat a quick bite of breakfast before their heedy stares sent them quickly back into their bed, the thoughts of eating and packing delayed for several more hours.

The next week was more than she could have hoped for, it was better than she could have ever expected when they first fell to earth, a peace that she couldn’t have imagined even after watching every old romantic vid on the Ark’s system. But the reality of Earth caught up with them with the crackle of a staticky radio from Clarke’s bag sooner than she had hoped but longer than she’d dared to dream for with her limited knowledge of Earth. 

“Clarke?” Murphy’s voice came over the radio, his tone ramming steel down her spine. “Clarke, something weird is happening here. I think Jaha’s chips are messing with the people here.”

“Murphy?” She called back, just to make sure it was him. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”

“Look Clarke, I think you need to make a trip out to Arkadia soon.” He huffed a sardonic laugh. “You need to see this.”

“What does my mom say about it?” She looked around the tent that she had been laying in as she waited for Bellamy to return with supper, trying to find her clothes. 

“That’s the thing. Your mom was totally against it.” He paused with a deep sigh. “Then she wasn’t, and I think something happened to Raven because she came out of medical right after with bandaged wrists.”

“Is she okay?” She asked with a slightly frantic edge to her voice. 

“Yeah, yeah. Raven seems okay now, but she was freaking out. She wanted to get something out of her head. I don’t really know, I only overheard her talking to Jasper and your mom. She wasn’t actually talking to me, so I don’t know.” The pace of Murphy’s voice ramped up the more he talked.

“Where is Wells? Kane? Any of the others?” She asked as she started to pull her clothes on, her bra swinging wildly from one arm as she attempted to pull her underwear up her legs. 

“They were headed back to Polis.” She shook her head though he couldn’t possibly see it. “They left yesterday.”

She huffed out her frustration. “Murphy, Bellamy and I aren’t in Polis right now. You need to go out and catch them. We will meet you in Arkadia in a few days.”

She could practically see him running his hands through his hair as he agreed. She set the radio down on top of her bag before standing and starting to pull her pants up her legs. She didn’t get them up very far before she felt the warm hands of her husband on the skin of her thighs pulling her back into his chest and stopping her progress of dressing. 

“Don’t do that now. I have so much planned for you that doesn’t require clothes.” He said against the skin of her shoulders before he started to trail kisses up her neck, his fingers pulling gently on the still swinging bra that barely clung to one shoulder. 

She let herself relax against him for a moment, her hands never letting go of the rugged material of her jeans. She pulled away from him gently, “Bellamy, I just got a call from Murphy. Something is happening at Arkadia. He needs us there.” 

He sighed. “Does he need us right away?” 

“He sounded pretty urgent.” She shrugged, finally having wiggled her hips into her pants. She turned to look at him only to see his eyes following the sway of her hips. She chuckled. “Bellamy?”

He shook his head, clearing whatever thoughts had his pupils dilating. “Hmm? Oh, oh yeah. Um, well, it's about to be dark. There is no point in breaking camp tonight. Let’s eat the fish I have roasting, and we will get an early start tomorrow, if someone can get herself out of bed at a reasonable time.”

She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Well, if someone didn’t keep me up so late then maybe, I’d be more inclined to wake up early.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist, hands brushing softly against the top curve of her ass. “Well maybe, if someone didn’t look so good in our bed, I wouldn’t keep you up so late.” He breathed against her lips. 

“Well now, I can hardly help that.” She breathed back before pressing her lips against his, before she knew it, her worry was gone as were the clothes she only just managed to pull on. 

\------------ 

When Bellamy woke up the next morning, he was surprised to see the bed next to him empty and he sat up in a panic looking around for Clarke. He rushed to the entrance of the tent only to be stopped short at the sight of her making breakfast over the fire she must have stoked when she woke up. 

Her blue eyes turned to him with mischief in her bright, well-awake eyes. “Not that I don’t enjoy the view.” She said with a quirk of her lips, her eyes flitting down before meeting his again. “But you should probably get dressed. We have some ground to cover today.”

He looked down only to realize too late that, in his haste to find her had not pulled on any clothes. He started to blush before he shook out his shoulders and sauntered toward her. He watched as her eyes darkened with every step. “See something you like?” He asked her playfully as he pulled her into his chest. 

“Mmhmm, very much so.” She said as she wound her hands around to squeeze his backside. She pushed up onto her tippy toes before pressing her lips to his. “But you should still get dressed.”

He sighed before pulling away from her. “Fine.” he swatted her butt as he moved quickly out of range with a laugh. “This isn’t over though.” 

She laughed. “Just hurry up and get dressed. Breakfast is almost ready, and we still need to pack up before we can head out.”

They had moved out quickly after breakfast and over the next several days, as they passed around the outskirts of towns, they started to notice things were not as they would have expected. The normally loud villages were suddenly quiet, though they still saw people moving around the village.

He could feel the unease of the commanders in his head as they watched the people move through, though none of them knew exactly why they felt uneasy.

The crackle of the radio made them both jump as they pulled further into the forest. “Clarke?”

She put the radio up to her lips. “Kane?”

“Clarke, I know Murphy said that he contacted you, but we really need you back here,” He heard Kane take a bracing breath. “something is going on with your mother.”

“Is she okay?” She asked as her scared blue eyes met his. He reached out to grasp her free hand as trembled at her side.

“She’s not hurt, but I don’t know how ‘okay’ she is.” He said. 

Clarke turned to him. “How far are we from Arkadia now?”

“A day and a half maybe.” He told her as his thumb stroked across the back of her hand. 

She nodded as she told Kane, “We are less than 2 days from you guys, we will be there soon. Stay safe.”

“Clarke?” Kane’s voice came back through the radio she was about to store. “We won’t be in Arkadia. A few of us got out and are holed up in a cave not far from it though. Radio when you are close.” 

\------------ 

They moved much quicker over the next two days and when she pulled out her radio to call in, she wasn’t terribly surprised to find out they had been watching the camp. She knew they had to split up for a time so she could go get Murphy and so he could go work out a strategy with the others in the cave. She knew they had to but that didn’t stop her heart from dropping into her stomach. 

She leaned into the hand that pressed against her cheek. “Just for a couple hours.” He promised, though he looked just as reluctant to part. “Then we will be back together.”

She nodded wordlessly, steeling herself before pulling away and stalking out of the clearing they had stopped in. She didn’t stop moving until she saw Murphy who was leaning casually against a tree just outside of Arkadia. A commotion seemed to be coming from within. 

“Fancy meeting you here.” Murphy tossed over his shoulder at her. “Where is Bellamy?”

“He went to meet up with Kane and the others.” She said, squeezing his bicep as she moved around him closer to Arkadia. “What’s happening in there?”

“I don’t know. It just started a moment before you showed up.” He shrugged, pushing off the tree to follow behind her. 

“Should we get a closer look?” She tossed over her shoulder at him. “Maybe pretend I’m here for a visit. I really need to see my mom.”

She could see the nervous tension radiating off him, but he shrugged again. “Sure.”

They had barely gotten to the gate when a rover bust through it, stalling out as it did so. Jasper’s terror filled eyes met hers through the windshield. She could see him saying her name as she swung around to the passenger side door. 

She pulled it open and he yelled for her to get it. She shook her head “I don’t understand Jasper, I need to see my mother.”

His angry eyes round on her. “No! You don’t understand. Your mother isn’t home right now and if you don’t get in, we won’t be either! Get in the damn Rover.” 

The first pop of a gun sent her and Murphy scrambling into the rover. She moved towards the back making room for Murphy to get in as well. Her eyes fell on the unconscious mechanic who was laid out in the back. “Raven?” She whispered before turning back towards the two in front. “Jasper, why are they shooting at us?”

She watched Jasper’s frantic movements as he tried to start the rover. His mumbling was overridden by her repeated question. “Shut up!” He screamed at her; Murphy was shocked into a quiet that was unusual for him. “You really are the angel of death, aren’t you?” Jasper tossed over his shoulder at her, hands still working the key in the ignition.

The sound of gunshots still ringing out hit her ears over the recriminations that Jasper continued to mutter at her as he tried to get the rover to turn over. Just as one of the guards wrenched the door open, the rover roared to life. As she kicked out at the guard who tried to scramble in, Clarke saw her mother standing at the gate with a sickeningly satisfied smile. Clarke reached out to pull the door closed but not before seeing her mother pick up a gun and start shooting in their direction. Jasper shouted in excitement as he pressed down on the gas and tore away from Arkadia. 

They drove through the forest quietly for a while before Clarke couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Jasper, please, talk to me.”

“I saved your life,” Jasper’s angry eyes meet hers in the rearview mirror. “it's more than you deserve.” 

She sucked in a harsh breath before blowing it out and shaking her head. “My mother let them shoot at me.” Clarke said, turning to Murphy. “She shot at me.”

Jasper’s laugh was derisive as he met her eyes in the rearview mirror. “I can see the appeal. Stop talking and look for the cave, Sinclair said it'd be around here somewhere.”

“You know it wasn’t her that killed Maya.” Murphy's words were sharp as he turned towards Jasper. “She’s been trying to save us a-” 

“No, don’t make excuses for me, Murphy.” She shook her head as she cut off his words. “If he needs to hate me, that’s okay.”

\------------ 

Bellamy was surprised to see Lincoln and Octavia in the cave when he arrived not long after splitting from Clarke, but he was grateful for the steadiness he felt rolling off of Lincoln. They had been discussing what had happened in Arkadia for most of the time they sat around waiting to hear back from Clarke and Murphy. 

That was until Jasper had called in and told them that Arkadia had fallen and was no longer safe. Though he was desperate to ask if Clarke was safe, he had refrained from doing so. The look that Kane and Miller had shot in his direction at the news of Jasper’s flight from the compound, glued his mouth shut. 

“I don't understand something about those chips.” Monty said as he moved back towards Sinclair, who only offered a “We'll know soon enough.” in return.

The silence of waiting was frustrating, and he felt less quiet then Clarke had been before they started the assault on the Mountain. He wanted to pace. He wanted to throw something. He wanted to go out and look for Clarke. He wanted to keep moving until she was in his arms again. Miller’s voice broke his tortured reverie, “They're here.”

The whirl of the moving metal box could be heard as he moved towards the entrance of the cave. His heart thudded loudly in his chest as he watched with bated breath until he saw the flash of blonde peek out of the back of the metal box. A scrawny kid moved around to meet her at the back though his face was filled with contempt as he looked at Clarke. He saw Murphy join them with a quiet but sharp retort to the angry boy before hoisting up Raven and rushing towards them. 

The scrawny kid, who must have been Jasper shouted as he followed Murphy. “We need your help! We have to get her inside before she wakes up.”

Bellamy turned to the group as they walked quickly back inside. “Were you followed?”

“Maybe, I don't know.” Jasper said, shaking his head not looking at Bellamy. 

“Get to the ridge, radio if you spot anyone,” Miller’s quiet voice rang out with command, which impressed Bellamy. “Harper will stay here on watch.”

Clarke met his eyes briefly before turning to the rest of her people who were huddled around a fire. “Clear some space.”

Sinclair moved around to meet Murphy who was settling the brunette on the ground. “What the hell happened to her?”

“I told you on the radio.” Jasper bit out, shooting a glare at Clarke before turning back to Sinclair. “Raven is not Raven anymore none of them are. Jaha's been chipping everyone.”

“Jasper's right, I've seen it with my own eyes.” Clarke agreed. 

The fire with which Jasper rounded on Clarke surprised him. He saw her flinch back as Jasper shouted. “I don't need your help! Alright?”

“Just take it easy and explain.” Bellamy gritted out towards the insolent boy. 

Jasper turned a sneer towards him before turning back towards Sinclair again. “Jaha is using the chips to control people. You swallow the chip and it changes you; you forget who you are, and you see this thing A.L.I.E. only she's not really there. She made Raven slit her own wrists. I was trying to get it out of her head, I was trying to help her but,” He trailed off as if not knowing how to finish. 

“Ok, let's help her now. Did she say how?” Sinclair asked, putting a hand on Jasper’s shoulder who sighed heavily. 

“She was working on building something, she needed one of our old wristbands but Jaha destroyed all of them.” Some of the fight seemed to drain out of him. 

The group lulled into quiet contemplation for a moment, until Raven jumped up and took off out of the cave too quickly for anyone to stop her. 

“Don't let her get away!” Clarke cried out as they chased her from the cave.

Raven was turning in circles when they finally caught up with her. “I can't see anything!” She cried. Jasper was the first to reach her, “Stop!” she screamed as he grabbed her. Bellamy was the next one to reach her, hauling her back against him as she flailed. 

“It's for her to find where we are. A.L.I.E. will come for her.” Jasper cried, letting her go to reach into his pocket. He pushed the syringe into Raven’s neck. “Reaper stick, last dose.” 

“We have to go now!” Clarke said as she moved in Bellamy’s space, brushing the hair that had fallen in Raven’s face when he’d caught her, off her forehead.

“Why?” Bellamy asked as he stared into her worried blue eyes. “A.L.I.E. doesn't know where we are.”

“Because I know where we can get a wristband.” She said, squeezing the hand that held Raven up. 

\------------ 

Bellamy and her quietly talked in the back as Kane drove them towards the outpost that she’d told them about. She worried that the chips had been the reason for the quietness they’d seen on their way to Arkadia, the nervousness raced up and down her spine, despite the comforting hand that Bellamy had laid on her thigh. 

When Kane threw the car into park outside of the trading post Niylah was staring suspiciously at the rover, her sword drawn. “I'll talk to her.” She said as she moved to climb out of the rover.

Bellamy’s hand landing on the small of her back as he moved to follow her. “I'll come with you.”

Octavia looked suspiciously at the other blonde who still hadn’t lowered her sword. “I thought you said she was a friend?” Octavia turned to look at Clarke with a raised eyebrow, her hand reaching down to rest on the sword at her hip. 

She looked up at Octavia, cautioning her. “We'll handle it, just stay here.” Clarke moved around the rover watching Niylah’s hand lower as she recognized them. “Niylah, what's wrong?”

Niylah opened her mouth to respond when Sinclair’s frantic voice cut in over them. “She's waking up, hurry! We have to get her inside!” Niylah motioned for them to move quickly inside to the back bedroom, where she had patched Clarke up a few months ago. 

Niylah bowed her head to Bellamy as he passed, following Sinclair to the back. Clarke heard someone shouting to tie the now thrashing Raven to the bed. “Niylah, I have to get back there but what has been going on? Where is your father?” 

Niylah just shook her head. “Go, help your friend, we can talk later.”

Raven’s voice was loud as Clarke entered the room, “Where the hell am I? Let me go! Let me go!”

“How the hell do we get that thing out of her head?” Clarke asked Monty as Raven continued to scream and thrash. 

“Working on it.” Monty said as he and Sinclair moved away from Raven.

Clarke reached out to Bellamy’s hand as they moved towards the front room, leaving Murphy and Jasper to look after the brunette screaming to be untied. “What do you need from me, Clarke?” Niylah asked as she looked at Clarke’s hand in Bellamy’s. 

“Last time I was here, you had one of our wristbands.” Clarke said, pulling her hand from his. Her eyes flicked to meet his quickly, turning back to Niylah when he gave her a nod with soft eyes. “We need it now to save our friend.”

“Stay here.” She said before moving out of the room, leaving Clarke alone with Bellamy for a moment. 

His hands reaching out to grasp her shoulders, pulling her into his chest. “You ok?” He asked as his hands stroked the hair at the back of her head. 

“Fine.” She said, squeezing his waist before pulling back. “Thank you for coming with me.”

His hand cupped her face, “There is no place I’d rather be right now.” 

She smiled up at him, her hand dropping over his. The rustling of fabric had them dropping their hands to their sides as they turned to Niylah who had returned triumphant with the wristband held out in her hand, pointing out where they could work away from the still screaming mechanic. 

They returned to the back, pulling Sinclair and Monty out to the side room as they chased the pair. “Niylah said we can work here, so how do we do this?” Clarke asked, looking between the two men.

Sinclair smiled at her. “We think Raven wanted to use this wristband to generate an EMP. Which is freakishly brilliant.”

Bellamy looked at him. “What does that mean?” She could see by the tilt of his head that he was hearing more than just the response that Sinclair offered. 

“A targeted electromagnetic pulse could destroy the chips circuitry.” Sinclair said, he looked uncertainly at Bellamy, not knowing if he would really understand what he was saying. “We could use this to send an EMP along Raven's own nervous system. Just need to reverse the polarity, a wire for external input and attach of battery.”

She nodded, “But what would that do to her?”

“Well EMPs don't affect our bodies. But I don't know the mechanics of how this chip integrates with her brain.” Sinclair offered, looking nervous. 

“This was Raven's plan; she wouldn't do it if it would destroy her brain.” Monty chimed in. 

“Depends how bad she wanted it out.” Bellamy said. 

The quiet lasted a beat before Sinclair jumped back in. “Regardless, without an electromagnet, this is just talk.”

“Where do we get one?” She asked. 

Sinclair paused again, “The Ark. Every station had a pulse inductive thruster-”

Bellamy cut him off, “Arcadia's out of the question. You heard them.” 

“We can use the dropship,” Monty said, jumping in. “It has PI thrusters just like the Ark.”

“That's good, ok I'll go salvage the magnet.” Sinclair said standing and starting to move towards the door. 

“Uh, no.” Monty said, his hand shooting out to stop the older man. “You should stay with Raven and figure out how this thing works. I'll take the rover; be back by the time you finish the device.”

“I'll go with you.” Octavia said, making everyone jump, not having heard her enter the room. Bellamy’s eyes shot up to hers. She shook her head and offered him a tight smile. “Don’t.” He stared at her for a moment longer before nodding. Monty and Octavia moved quickly out of the room only a moment before they heard the Rover kicking into gear. 

\------------ 

The sound of Jasper’s frantic cries, had them rushing back towards the bedroom, he winced at the sight of her dislocated shoulder as she tried to get herself untied. 

Clarke screamed before yelling at them to “stop her”. He moved quickly around to one side telling Jasper to get the other side as Raven screamed for them to get away from her. 

“She's reopened her wounds.” Clarke said from his side as they both looked down at the blood running freely down Raven’s arms. “She's gonna bleed to death! I need bandages.”

Jasper handed her the bandages and Clarke asked him to take her wrist. “Raven, stop fighting us.” She begged. He could see the worry and stress lining her face and all he wanted to do was take her away from this. 

“A.L.I.E.,” Jasper called several times. He looked around the room wildly before looking down at Raven. “I know you can hear me, why are you doing this? Let her go!”

“I'll let her go when you give me what I want.” The voice that came out of the petite brunette was terrifying and it sent the commanders back in arms when she looked directly at him. “The technology that is in your head, it belongs to me.”

“No way.” Clarke said, stepping in front of him, cutting off Raven’s line of sight. She leaned down and whispered into Raven’s ear, “If you let Raven die, you'll never get it.”

The slacked compliance had him nervous as Clarke started to move around him to fix her friend. Once her arm was back in place, Bellamy dropped a hand on Clarke’s shoulder. “Clarke, she's never gonna stop trying to get away.” He said, looking into her worried blue eyes. “We can't let her hurt herself again. Someone has to stay with her.”

She nodded before resting her cheek against the hand that was on her shoulder for a moment. “I'll take first watch, we'll take turns.”

“You don't give the orders, Clarke!” Jasper jumped up from where he had been leaning against the wall, startling both of them away from each other. 

Raven turned her unresponsive eyes up to both of them. “Guess he doesn't forgive you for murdering his girlfriend.”

“Jasper take a break.” he said, ushering the thin man out of the room.

“You don’t either, Commander.” Jasper hissed at him as Bellamy met Clarke’s worried eyes. 

\------------ 

Raven sounded wholly herself again as she thanked Clarke when she finished wrapping the bandages over her bleeding arms. Clarke offered her a small smile until Raven’s face turned cold again, asking, “Do you ever see their faces?”

“What?” She asked, pulling away from Raven. 

“Of all the people you've killed.” Raven asked, uncaring of the hurt that Clarke felt rush through her, making her stomach churn. 

Clarke pulled her face into a sneer, hoping to mask how the words had hurt her, “I know what you're doing but you can't get to me A.L.I.E. so don't even bother.”

“It's not A.L.I.E., Clarke.” Raven said, her eyes still dead though her voice sounded more like herself. “It's Raven. I'm not trying to get to you I'm just trying to tell you the truth because no one else will. Everywhere you go, death follows. You always want to save everyone. But what you don't realize is, you're the one we need saving from. Pascal and Trina are dead because you couldn't see how much danger the grounder’s posed. Finn is dead because you broke his heart then slid a knife into it. Hell, I bet you’ll get Bellamy killed too.”

“Shut up.” She whispered, moving away from the bed. 

“And then there's dear old dad.” Raven’s voice turned sickly sweet; a wave of nausea rushed through Clarke. 

“I said shut up!” Clarke begged as she felt the tears building behind her eyes, she locked down her body so she wouldn’t turn to look at Raven.

“Your mom's in here with me Clarke. She told me you tried to convince him not to go public about the fact that the Ark was dying, guess you should've tried harder! His blood is on your hands too” Clarke turned to see the smug smirk on her face. “You think we buy this selfless martyr act, but we see you for who you really are. Poison to anyone who gets close.”

Clarke moved towards the bed with a length of bandage in her hand, intending to place a gag over her mouth. She didn’t expect for the blunt blades of Raven teeth to clamp down on her arm and tear into the meat of it before she pulled back with Clarke’s blood dripping from her chin. A scream tore from Clarke’s throat as Bellamy rushed into the room. “You're done A.L.I.E., you hear me? We're gonna fry you!” She screamed as Bellamy grabbed Clarke and pulled her away from the grim smile on Raven’s face.

Bellamy grabbed her arm, turning it over to look at the bite from Raven. “I let her get to me.” She said softly as he started to clean up the wound. 

“You don't say?” he said as he looked up at her wryly, a small smirk playing about his mouth. “Take a break, I'll let her beat me up for a while.” He finished bandaging the wound, tracing his thumb over her wrist before heading back to the room to sit with Raven. 

“Truth hurts, huh?” Jasper scoffed. 

Clarke turned to look at her angry friend. “I'm sorry.” she said before trying to explain further at the confused look on his face. “I never wanted Maya to get hurt. I never wanted any of this. I tried to give you and Octavia as much time as I could, but I had to save our people.”

Jasper’s broken expression turned towards the floor. “I was going to save her, but you pissed them off.”

“I wish you could've.” She said softly.

“Shove your regret up your ass.” He said before turning away to follow Bellamy into the room with Raven. 

She sighed, bending forward to press her hands against the counter that stood next to her. Her forehead falling to her hands. The stress of everything, the weariness that flooded her, left her weak against her body’s reaction to it. She rushed out the front of the store to vomit into the bushes. The feel of small hands rubbing her back had her standing up straight and adjusting her posture into that of Wanheda before turning to meet Niylah’s eyes. She could see the question in her eyes. “Please, don’t. I’m okay, it’s just been a stressful day.” 

“You should talk to Heda. He can set your worries at ease. He is your husband now.” Niylah said. 

“You know about that?” She asked. “You’ve heard about that out here already?”

Niylah met her eyes with a nod. “Nothing about the Heda stays secret for long, well at least it didn’t before all this madness started.”

She nodded, turning back to the trading post, stopping at the door to tell Niylah, “Once this is all over, we will talk about everything. I promise. You deserve that at least.”

She hurried through the door and into the side room. Sinclair was posed over the wristband with tools in his hand and magnifying glasses perched on his nose. She shuffled a little louder, making noise so not to scare him when she said. “Hey.”

Sinclair looked at her over his glasses. “Just rewiring the firing mechanism and we're good to go.” he said offering her a strained smile. 

“Raven will be alright.” She said, moving to rest a hand on his shoulder.

“You don't know that.” He said, shrugging her hand off. “She's all I have left, Clarke. What if this thing that I build destroys that brilliant mind of hers, how do I live with that?”

“Jasper said that she was trying to disconnect herself from ALIE. That's not Raven anymore.” She said, remembering the pinpoint accuracy with which Raven had thrown her pointed words. 

“You sure about that?” He asked, turning back to the wristband in his hand.

She sighed, turning her head to the ground before answering. “I'm not sure about anything. But this is our only choice.”

She turned and fled the room before her mind could add any more recriminations onto her heavy shoulders.

\------------ 

The sound of the rover pulling up outside Niylah’s shop had him rushing outside to meet his sister and Monty. The drawn look on his sister’s face set his nerves on edge. Monty’s face was tear stained when he rounded the front of the rover, holding out the magnet to Sinclair. 

“What happened?” He asked, grabbing his sister’s arm as she moved passed him. She looked at Monty before shaking her head. 

“Everyone, let's go!” Sinclair shouted, drawing them back in the shop. 

Monty fiddled with some wires as Sinclair held the wristband close to the magnet. “We're all set.” he said. 

“All we have to do is connect her and activate the electromagnet.” Sinclair said, his eyes darting to Raven who was looking off to the side. 

Before they could do anything further, Raven started thrashing. Clarke started screaming her name as they rushed over to hold her, to stop her. Everyone was shouting and begging in equal turn for Raven to stop. Raven paused for a moment before she threw her head backwards repeatedly. “She's trying to kill herself.” He yelled to Clarke. 

Bellamy laid over her chest as his hands cupped her head after they got her laid down on the bed. Holding her head steady for Sinclair to attach the EMP thing to her head. 

“No, please don't! The EMP will give me brain damage!” She cried and he watched as Sinclair hesitated at her words. “You know it will, please don't do this!” Clarke begged him not to listen to her while Raven pleaded with him not to do it. Bellamy struggled to continue to cage her head while Sinclair looked between the two women. Jasper almost lost his grip on the leg opposite to Kane. 

“We've only got one try at this. The EMP will fry the wristband too.” Sinclair said as he looked into Clarke’s eyes. 

“Just,” Bellamy started before Raven threw her head forward trying to connect with his. He grunted before continuing. “Do it! Do it!”

Sinclair nodded. “OK!”

“Got it, go!” Monty said as he held the machine to the back of Raven’s neck. Sinclair threw the switch on the EMP, but nothing happened.

Clarke jumped in to help Jasper when Raven’s foot got loose as he yelled, “What's happening?”

Bellamy looked up into the confused face of the engineer, “Nothing” Sinclair said. “The battery’s not strong enough.”

“Then get one that is.” Clarke cried as she looked up into his eyes, his arms began to shake from the strain of holding Raven’s head still. 

Monty set the EMP down as he looked at Sinclair, “The rover.” They said in unison, both rushing out, tripping over one another in their hurry to get out and return. 

He set his forehead against the straining muscles in his arm as he clenched his teeth. When he lifted his head, he met Clarke’s stare, her blue eyes soft as she watched him. The chaos of the room faded for a moment as their eyes locked, he desperately wanted to reach out and touch her worried face, when suddenly Sinclair and Monty were back, and the latter was pressing the EMP back to Raven’s skin. The jolt hit her, and she slumped in his arms, finally going quiet.

He let go of her slumped body and made room for Clarke to come up and check her friend over. “She's breathing.” Clarke said to the room before turning back to Raven, her voice desperate. “Raven, come on Raven, come on Raven, wake up.”

Jasper’s voice quivered as he said. “She warned us.” He picked up a metal pole and started to rush at Bellamy. “A.L.I.E. did that to Raven, she's never gonna get him!”

“No, you can't! No! Stop!” Clarke cried out as Bellamy intercepted Jasper, pulling the metal from his hands. Her voice trailed off before looking up into his eyes. “Both the AIs were made by the same person. Both tap into human conciseness, they must work similarly, right?”

Sinclair nodded. “There's a probability of one pathway into conciseness, so yeah.”

“What does this have to do with anything?” Monty asked.

Clarke paced for a moment before turning back to the bed. “I think I know how to remove it; I’m going to need a knife and some help to get her on her side.” Her nervous eyes met his, he pulled the knife from his side pocket, offering it to her as the others rolled Raven over. 

Clarke pressed the knife to Raven’s neck and sliced down. He heard her murmur to herself, “This has to work.” She pressed the soft cloth in her hand to Raven’s neck when a black liquid bubbled out with small bits of metal in it.

“What is that?” He asked, looking between Clarke and Sinclair. 

“It must be whatever's left of the chip.” Sinclair said, stunned when Raven started to cough. He leaned down against the bed, his face nearing Raven’s, a happy smile gracing his face as he said, “Hey.” to her fluttering eyes.

The commotion of the rest of Skaikru drowned out in his ears as he looked at Clarke. She stood off to the side watching Raven reunite with her friends, where she had backed to as she made room. She seemed unable to move forward into the people she had risked everything to save. “We gotta move.” He said, pulling everyone back to focus. They started to pack up in a flurry of movement. 

Clarke stopped by Niylah as they moved passed her. “You can't stay here. If you do, you'll end up just like my friend. You need to run.”

Niylah gripped Clarke’s arm before bowing to him as she said, “It's time for a supply run anyway.” before moving to the back room. 

They all piled back into the rover, Clarke slid into his side. Their pinkies linking quietly on the seat space between them. She looked up and met his eyes for a moment and all he wanted to do was lean into her and press his lips against hers. He could read her desire to be alone again clear as day. 

She pulled away from their shared gaze before interrupting Raven and Jasper. “Hey, there's one thing I don't understand. Why did A.L.I.E. want you to kill yourself?”

Raven looked up from where her head rested against Jasper’s shoulder. “Because I know why she wants the second AI.”

“Why?” Kane asked from his spot in the front. 

“It's the only thing that can stop her.” She said.

Octavia’s voice cut across the understanding the other commanders had come to, his pinky finger curling harder against Clarke’s. “Then let's stop her. We can survive together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, what did you think? Sorry if there were any mistakes.


	21. All You Have In The End, Our Love Mattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He pulled her back to him, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. “Clarke, we can’t go marching in there without a plan. We don’t know what we are going to be walking into. It could be a trap and I’m not going to lose you because we didn’t make a plan.”
> 
> “Okay, here’s the plan.” She pulled away from him, her hand pulling the radio up to her lips. “Emerson, I know you're here. We need to talk.”
> 
> If they weren’t trying to save her friends from the mountain again, the look of utter disbelief on Bellamy’s face would have made her laugh. She started walking again, this time not making a grab for Bellamy, instead letting her free hand grab the gun from her waistband.
> 
> The radio crackled in her hand before she heard Emerson respond. “I don't need to do anything. You should've killed me when you had the chance.”
> 
> “And now you're here to kill me is that it?” She asked as she moved, trying to quiet her steps as she got closer.
> 
> “Something like that.” He responded.
> 
> “Then let my friends go. Do that and you can have me.” Bellamy sputtered at her words, his large hand grabbing her and swinging her around, his eyes wide with panic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Sorry, Sorry... I know I said I would have this up by last weekend but I got sick... hopefully that's the last bad thing that happens to me this month. The next chapter is already halfway written, so hopefully I'll have it out before Monday.

Raven’s nose was pressed into a book, the tattered edges spoke to its age, as they rocked back and forth in the rover, headed back towards the cave to meet up with the others who’d been left behind. There was a tint of envy in her voice as she spoke to Sinclair. “Becca's journal is amazing. At 26, she found a pathway to access a human mind. That same year, she had to lock up A.L.I.E. because her answer for what was wrong with the world was too many people. She was 27 when it launched the bombs.”

“That’s Becca’s journal?” Clarke asked as she tried to catch a look at it over Raven’s shoulder. Raven nodded absentmindedly. “What did she write about the Flame?”

Raven looked up at her before responding. “A.L.I.E. 2.0. She saw it as a way to atone for her sins. She designed it to not just access a human mind but to merge with one. It could never wipe us out because it would be one of us. She would put it in herself first, altered her genes so her body wouldn't reject the implant.”

Clarke turned to look at Bellamy. “Becca Pramheda, the first Commander.” she said in amazement before turning back to Raven. “The gene therapy made her blood black, didn't it?”

“Yeah.” Raven said, looking at Clarke curiously. “How did you know that?”

“Night blood. That's where it came from. Somehow it became hereditary.” 

“Get back to the mind pathway.” Monty said, the first time he’d pulled his sad eyes off his fidgeting hands in his lap. “If A.L.I.E. uses it to upload our minds to the City of Light, then there's a chance my mom's still alive.”

“That depends on your definition of "alive".” Raven said sarcastically, though her eyes softened, and her hand reached out to him. 

Kane turned around to look at them, cutting off their conversation. “Eyes sharp. Weapons high. We're almost home.” He pulled a radio up to his mouth. “Miller, come in.” When there was no response he called for the others with increasing urgency. 

“I hate to say this but maybe we should go to Arcadia.” Clarke said, unable to meet Kane’s eyes.

“Actually, that’s probably a good idea.” Raven agreed, shrugging. “A.L.I.E. wanted to increase the population in the city of light. No point in staying in Arcadia if it’s tapped out.”

“Maybe they moved back to Arcadia?” Bellamy offered of the people still not responding to the radio calls, scooting closer to Clarke on the seat of the rover.

They rolled through their hideout only to confirm that it was truly empty. They loaded up the rover with the remainder of what was left in the cave, no more than a day’s worth of food for the group and a couple small medical items. Clarke took a moment to lean into Bellamy’s side while everyone was busy moving supplies into the rover. She sighed when she felt his lips press against the crown of her head. They pulled away from each other as the rest of the group finished up and started to climb back into the rover. Bellamy’s hand lingered on the small of her back as they followed suit.

Clarke couldn’t believe her eyes as they pulled up to the deserted camp. “We left two days ago. Why haven't they fixed the gate?”

Jasper’s voice was just as angry when he answered. “Maybe because there's no one here to fix it.”

“It's like a ghost town.” Raven’s voice was unsurprised as they exited the rover. 

“Miller, where the hell are you?” Kane whispered to himself before turning back to the group. “I don't like this.”

“Maybe they got chipped.” Jasper offered as they moved further into Arcadia. 

Sinclair turned to him with a raised eyebrow, “If they got chipped, they would have been waiting for us at the cave.”

“If they are chipped, A.L.I.E. already knows we're coming.” Clarke said as she moved forward. They needed to get in and out before A.L.I.E. came looking for them. “We should move the rover in further while we go searching for the rest of the group. Best not to give A.L.I.E. any reason to believe we are here.”

Kane nodded in agreement before walking back to the rover to move it into the hanger bay. The rest of them continued forward on high alert. “Close it up and turn it around. In case we need to get out of here quickly.” He said as he turned the rover off once they were all inside. 

“It's like they just got up and walked away.” Clarke said looking around the hanger, piles of unfinished work and forgotten tasks were laid out before her. She closed her eyes against the memories of her mother, just a day ago shooting at her, with that sinister smile plastered on her face. 

Bellamy surprised her by pulling her away from the rest of the group, forcing her to open her eyes and focus on him. He looked around to make sure one else could see them before pressing his lips to her’s. The gentleness of his usually demanding lips caught her off guard, shocking her into inaction for a moment. When she came back to the present, she wrapped her arms around his waist, sliding her hands up under his shirt. His hands caged her face in as he pulled back slightly, resting his forehead against hers.

His deep brown eyes resonated desire as they opened and his hands dropped away from her face to wander down her body. “I have been waiting for a moment we could be alone to do this.” He said before pressing his lips back to hers. 

She shuddered as he pulled back again. “I’ve missed this too.” Her hands wandered around his lower back, relishing in the warmth of his skin on hers, she leaned up to press her lips back to his for a moment before resting her head against his chest. “So much.”

Bellamy ran a hand through her hair, his other hand rested on the small of her back as he rocked them gently, back and forth. “I wish we could get away, back to our own solitude.”

She nodded against his chest, squeezing him tighter. She pulled away reluctantly when she heard the rest of the group breaking up and starting to move around. She was looking up into his face when she heard Murphy call to them, “Hey, break it up love birds.” a smirk heavy on his lips. 

She turned to face Murphy with a grin on her face. “Murphy, what trouble are you getting yourself into?”

“I’m headed to Polis to check it out with Kane and Lincoln.” He shrugged an arm over Clarke’s shoulders. “But you two are staying here, Kane doesn’t want to risk either one of you if they are chipping people in the capitol.”

Bellamy started to protest, “Those are my people, I need to be there.”

She turned her eyes to the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. “He’s right Bell, you’re too important, but I can go. No one needs me.”

“You are important and besides the decision has already been made, you are both staying here, for your own good.” Murphy said as she shrugged out from under his arm. “Everyone is pairing off and checking out the rest of the Ark for anything useful, you two should head out as well.”

\------------

Raven called out to Clarke as they turned to leave, asking her to leave the chip with her, the one that Clarke had confiscated from Jasper at Niylah’s. 

“Why?” Clarke tilted her head to the side, her blue eyes were curious.

Raven looked up at Clarke, for the first time since being saved without derision on her face. “I think I know how to activate it.”

“Without a host?” Clarke asked. He could hear Becca Pramheda whispering against the back of his mind. 

“This section here codes for activation with a spoken passphrase.” Raven said, pulling him back away from the other commander, who’d become more insistent over the last few days, no matter how he tried to ignore her. 

Clarke looked at the book on the table with Raven, “What phrase?”

“Doesn't say. It could be anything.” Raven shrugged before turning to Bellamy. “Any ideas, Bellamy?”

He shook his head, squeezing his hand at his side, against the screeching of Becca. “I didn't even know I was an AI until yesterday.”

“You’re not an A.I. Your mind is just enhanced by one.” Raven said, her hand reaching out to squeeze his forearm in a reassuring gesture. “I'm guessing the reason you didn't know was because the program degraded over time. Parts of it got lost.” 

Clarke spit out a couple phrases that his people spouted off with equal parts anger and vigor. Monty and Sinclair who’d stayed with Raven and kept quiet up until then stepped closer to them. He watched Monty’s hand reach out and pick up the book, reading out the words on the front of it. “Seek higher things?”

“Wait,” Raven said, pulling the book back into her hands, flipping pages rapidly. “Becca's book is full of Latin phrases.”

“I take it A.L.I.E. didn't leave Latin behind in your brain.” Monty said in a teasing voice. 

“I studied some Latin.” Sinclair offered, reaching out for the book. “Seek higher things. Altiora petimus.”  _ Ascende superius _ Becca whispered, the words floating around his head. “No, go for a less literal translation.” Sinclair continued. 

“Ascende superius.” He offered. Sinclair and the rest of them looked at him in surprise. He shrugged. “What?” He asked looking at them. “Was it wrong?”

Sinclair shook his head. “No but it’s like you read my mind. Okay, let’s try it.”

“Ascende superius.” Raven said as she leaned over the chip. The small blue device glowed, lighting up Raven’s eyes. “I think I can work with this.” 

She deflated, when not a moment later the chip dimmed. “Ok, there must be another way to access the code then.” Sinclair offered to Raven’s defeated face.

“Okay, well keep working on it. We are going to go check out the rest of the Ark like the others.” Clarke said, pulling them away.

“Ok, we'll catch up.” He heard Sinclair say to their retreating backs before turning back to Raven. 

They explored for a while, hand in hand while no one was around. She peeled away from him a couple times to check down various halls, talking quietly to herself as she did. He couldn’t stop the feeling of dread from leaching into his soul every time she walked away from him. 

The last time she moved down a hallway while he checked the rooms adjacent, he heard the eerie tinkling of music coming from the same hall she’d just turned down. He moved to follow her when suddenly a red cloud of smoke started to billow towards him. “Run!” He heard Clarke’s scared voice scream. 

He heard a scuffle from within the smoke before he saw Clarke rushing out of it, grabbing his arm and hauling him back the way they came. “Bell,” she said haltingly. Her words raspy as she coughed up the irritants. “Emerson.”

They stopped and he pulled her into an empty room. She pulled the radio off her hip as she called out to the other teams. He put his hands on her shoulders as she started to shake apart, when she got no response. “Miller, Harper, Bryan. This is all my fault, I let Emerson live.”

“No,” He shook his head. “How could this be your fault?”

“In Polis, I had a chance to kill him. I let him go.” She said, if reminding him. 

Raven’s voice crackled to life over the radio, stopping him from saying anything further. “Clarke, what's wrong?”

“Raven are you ok? Where are you?” Clarke asked, clinging to the radio.

“Still in engineering, we're fine.” She said and he watched Clarke’s shoulders slump in relief.

“Raven, listen to me, Emerson is here.” She said leaning her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms up around her tiny frame. “Are the others with you?”

Raven’s voice crackled back to them. “Negative, just Sinclair. Mount Weather, Emerson?”

“Lock down the hangar bay don't let anyone in but us.” Clarke said before looking back to his eyes. “We need to go back to them.” 

He nodded, squeezing her one more time before letting her go. He turned to leave the room before Raven’s voice came back across the radio, terrified. “He's here, he's inside the hangar bay.”

Clarke took off without another glance in his direction and he was left to scramble behind her. When they finally got in through the hanger doors from the outside, they found the space devoid of any light. “Raven! Sinclair!” He called out as they walked through the dark.

He heard Clarke gasp as they came upon Sinclair, laying in a pool of blood. He chest still as his dark eyes stared up at nothing. “We're too late.” She said, checking his pulse, confirming what they both already knew. She closed Sinclair’s eyes before turning to look back at him. “He didn't kill Monty or Raven. He would've left their bodies. He took them somewhere.”

“If you're right, Octavia and the others are there too.” Bellamy said, reaching down to pull her back to her feet. 

\------------

“Where would he be taking them?” She asked herself out loud. 

Bellamy looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Could be anywhere, does he even know his way around?”

She nodded. “He was here. You were in TonDC.” She looked around before the thought struck her. “The airlock.”

She grabbed his hand and turned on her heel without another word, dragging him behind her again. They were less than two halls away from Emerson when he dug his heels in, halting their progress. “Clarke, slow down. We need a plan.”

“I can’t slow down; our people are in there. Your sister.” She said as she tried to pull him along again, though he held firm.

He pulled her back to him, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. “Clarke, we can’t go marching in there without a plan. We don’t know what we are going to be walking into. It could be a trap and I’m not going to lose you because we didn’t make a plan.”

“Okay, here’s the plan.” She pulled away from him, her hand pulling the radio up to her lips. “Emerson, I know you're here. We need to talk.”

If they weren’t trying to save her friends from the mountain again, the look of utter disbelief on Bellamy’s face would have made her laugh. She started walking again, this time not making a grab for Bellamy, instead letting her free hand grab the gun from her waistband.

The radio crackled in her hand before she heard Emerson respond. “I don't need to do anything. You should've killed me when you had the chance.”

“And now you're here to kill me, is that it?” She asked as she moved, trying to quiet her steps on the metal floor as she got closer. 

“Something like that.” He responded.

“Then let my friends go. Do that and you can have me.” Bellamy sputtered at her words, his large hand grabbing her and swinging her around, his eyes wide with panic. 

Emerson laughed into the radio. “You're brave, Clarke, I'll give you that. They're lucky to have a friend like you.”

“Clarke.” Bellamy’s voice was pleading as he tried to keep her there, to keep her from running off. 

“Come to the airlock, no weapons. Right now.” Emerson's voice cut off anything Bellamy would have said to try to stop her. 

She pushed the radio and her gun into his hands. “Here.”

“Clarke! What the hell are you doing?” He roared at her.

“Saving them!” She cried. “When it's over, take Raven to engineering; help her, then save the rest of our people.” She leaned up to press her lips to his gently. “Promise me.”

“No. You're out of your mind if you think I'm letting you do this alone.” He said, dropping the radio and gun as he dragged her to his body, dropping his lips roughly to her’s. Their chests heaving when he pulled back. “I can’t lose you. I just found you.”

She reached up to stroke his face. “Bellamy, this is my fault. I'm not letting anyone else die for my mistake, ok? So, take them.”

“You through?” He asked, his voice raw with anger. “I don't know what happened between you and Emerson in Polis when you met with him alone, but I do know that letting him kill you, here, today, is a stupid plan.”

Her teary eyes met his as she leaned into his solid chest. “You got a better one?”

“Distract him. I kill him.” He said, leaning down to kiss her again.

“Okay.” She pressed her lips to his once more before pulling away. She turned on her heel and headed back down the hall again. She heard Bellamy sigh before the sound of his footsteps met her ears. 

As they got to the last corner, she motioned for him to stay before lifting her hands up and walking around the corner. “I held up my part of the deal. Your turn. Let my friends go.” She called out. 

“Tell the Heda to show himself first.” Emerson called out his hand tightly gripping Octavia’s hair, his knife tauntingly running up and down her neck. 

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Clarke said as her eyes watched the knife. He pulled Octavia tighter to him as he pressed the blade against her throat, drawing a grunt from the angry grounder girl. 

No one moved, a tense moment passed before Emerson pressed the blade harder, drawing blood from her sister- in- law. She heard Bellamy move before the sound of his voice met her ears. “Ok, ok! Just stop!”

Emerson’s cruel laugh filled the air as he moved closer to the airlock controls “Ok, now, put the weapon on the ground and get inside.”

“Please you wanted me.” She said, her voice held a frantic edge. “I'll get inside once you let them go.”

Emerson sneered at her. “I was talking to Bellamy.”

He pressed the blade harder against Octavia’s throat, the blood trailed down her pale skin quicker, “Don't do this.” Clarke begged as Bellamy dropped the weapons in his hands, the gun that was uselessly tucked in his waistband joined the knives on the ground.

She watched helplessly as Bellamy walked to the airlock. Emerson motioned for him to put his hands in the cuffs that dangled from the wall. She watched as Bellamy locked his own wrist in them before Emerson walked back out of the airlock, Octavia still in his grasp. “Get on your knees, Clarke.” He said, sheathing his knife and pulling a gun to point at Clarke. “Put your hands behind your head.”

Her heart started to race as she put her hands on her head. Her mind whirled, trying to find a way out of this situation. She watched Emerson shove Octavia back into the airlock, slamming his hand down to seal the door before Octavia could recover her feet. 

“No, you can do anything you want with me. Just let them go!” She begged, tears flooding her eyes. She watched as he pressed another button on the panel before moving towards her. 

She felt the press of cold steel against her temple. “You murdered 381 people. You took the lives of my children, my brother, my friends. Did you really think that I would be happy with just one life in return, hmm?”

The sound of air venting from the airlock hit her ears with a hiss. The automated voice announced the undeniable truth. “I want you to feel what I felt like.” Emerson said as he leaned over her. “Beg me to stop it”

“I beg you.” She said as tears trailed down her face, her eyes meeting Bellamy’s through the thick glass. 

“Louder!” Emerson screamed in her ear. 

“Please!” She screamed. Octavia rushed into her brother’s arms as he started to droop. “Aaron wouldn't want you to do this.”

“You don't say his name!” Emerson screamed, the gun falling from his hand as he hit her across the back of her head. She grunted from the impact. 

She used the moment of distraction to shove him back and scramble to her feet. Her hand almost hit the button to free her friends before Emerson caught her hair and yanked her back to the floor, climbing on top of her. His large hands pressed down on her throat as her arms swung at him wildly. 

“Gotcha.” He said before he slammed her head against the floor. When she stopped moving from the impact, he lifted her to her knees, drawing her eyes to the door. All her friends were stooped over, gasping for breath. “Now you get to watch them die. Any last words for your friends?”

Clarke’s eyes dropped to the floor, the gun, forgotten in their struggle, laid near her knees. “Yeah.” she said slowly before throwing her head backwards into his face. The crack of his nose met her ears as she made a wild grab for the gun. Turning she fired, the shot hitting just off center of the middle of his forehead. “Fuck you.”

He fell to the floor, blood leaking from his mouth, nose, ears, and bullet wound. His mouth floundered as he took his last breath. She turned and ran back to the airlock as quickly as she could make her unsteady feet move. She had to close one eye to get her brain to focus on the words enough to find the right button. The doors opened and she heard all her friends gasp for air. She staggered into the airlock and started untying them as quickly as her uncoordinated limbs could manage. 

By the time she had freed half the group everyone was awake enough to help. Monty guided her out of the airlock as Harper and Raven worked on freeing the rest. Octavia dropping down next to where Monty placed her. The blood flowed freely down her neck. Clarke pulled off some of her shirt handing it to Octavia and telling her to apply pressure until the blood stopped. 

Bellamy came racing to them when he was finally free, almost sliding into as he dropped to his knees in front of her. He gripped her face in his hands, pressing his lips against hers harshly. “There’s something that I’d thought I’d never see.” She heard Octavia say in a rough voice as Bellamy molded his lips more firmly against hers. 

He pulled back from her only once they were both out of air again. He turned to his sister and hugged her, she hugged him back just as fiercely. 

“I think we deserve a break for the rest of the night.” Someone said, she agreed wholeheartedly and would tell them so, just as soon as she could get her brain working again, get her head to stop spinning. 

Bellamy pulled her up to her feet before they all trudged back towards the hanger. Monty pointed out empty rooms as they got closer, everyone breaking off into separate rooms. Bellamy pulled Clarke into the one nearest the hanger. He set her into the bed. She laid back against the pillows, her hand going to her pounding head. 

She expected to feel the bed dip beside her, instead she felt Bellamy drop a kiss to the part of her forehead not covered by her hand as he whispered that he would be back shortly. When she asked what he was going to do, he told her that he was going to go take care of Sinclair’s body, that he deserved at least that much respect, not to be laid out overnight. When she tried to get up to follow him and help, he pressed her back into the bed. “Stay.” He said. “I won’t be long.” 

She relented, laying back down. She watched through slitted eyes as he pulled the door open. “Bellamy,” She called, stopping him. “I love you.” 

She saw the smile pull his lips wide. “I love you too, Clarke.” He turned and closed the door. 

It was less than an hour before she felt the bed dip behind her sleep-heavy body. His lips pressed to the back of her head as she drifted deeper into sleep. The aches of her body drifted away with her as he draped his arm over her waist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should close out the third season.. let me know what you think!


	22. Chapter 22 - I’ve Never Been One to Ask for Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She rubbed at her still aching head. Raven and Monty had been typing away at the computer and trying to explain what they had been doing for the last twenty minutes and she was no closer to understanding that she had been when she walked in. 
> 
> “So can you, or can’t you shut it down?” She asked. 
> 
> Raven turned to look at her, her face unimpressed. “That’s what I’ve been saying. We might be able to if we can find the right area of code. She’s got it well protected but if we can find a way in, I can do it.”
> 
> Before she could ask any more questions, Bellamy shuffled in looking forlorn, “Bellamy?” she questioned, but his eyes didn’t raise to meet hers. “Are you okay?”
> 
> He closed the distance on them before he looked up but still unable to meet her eyes. By the time he did that both Monty and Raven were looking at him as well with a question in their eyes. “I'm okay. I know how to stop A.L.I.E. I have to take the chip.” His tone was flat and she could read the terror in his eyes, though his mask stayed in place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> explicit scene in the middle feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable.

The insistent knocking at the door pulled her back to consciousness. She pulled herself out from under the arm of her still slumbering husband. Sending a warm smile to him, his body fighting to stay asleep. She moved quicker to the door to stop the knocking after turning away from him, her hand coming up to her head as the light in the hallway met her eyes beyond the open door. 

“Monty?” She whispered at him.

“Raven remembered that A.L.I.E. downloaded herself into the Ark mainframe.” He said excitedly. “If it's still there, we can find a back door.”

She shot a look back into the dark room before she pulled the door closed behind her. She straightened her clothing out as she motioned for him to proceed. “Okay, let’s go see Raven.”

\------------

“Bellamy!” The short dark-haired commander shouted at him. “I’ve been trying to get you to listen to me for days!”

“I’ve been a little busy, Becca  _ Pramheda _ .” He shrugged, slinking lower into the chair. He wondered where the rest of the commanders might have been, but knowing Becca, she had sealed them off. 

“This is important Bellamy!” She shouted at him as she stood from her chair. 

He crossed his arms as he glared at her. “And so is saving my people! If you hadn’t noticed, we’ve been trying to out run your other A.I.”

“Ugh” Her hands flew up in exasperation. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“Well, I’m here now. Not that I had a choice.” He grumbled, her eyebrows rose on her forehead. 

She waved off his bad manner. “You need to take a chip.”

“What!” He exploded out of his chair. “Why in the world would I do that? We’ve spent the last, I don’t know how many days running from the damn chip!”

“Bellamy, you have to trust me.” She said her voice lowered into a soothing tone. 

He scoffed. “Why in the world would I trust you when you destroyed the world.”

She winced at his words. “I’ve been trying to atone for my mistakes. The flame will provide you some protection from her. But you will have to be quick, she will try to update herself, removing the kill switch. She will also try to use the flame against your body once she gets updated enough. She will fry your brain if you take too long.”

“Great.” He bit out. “That sounds fantastic. Let the crazy A.I. have access to the thing she needs to become unstoppable. I have no idea what most of what you are saying means. I don’t understand half of what Clarke and the rest of her people are talking about on a good day. How am I supposed to stop this?” 

She softened as she took in his face. He glared back at her, his hand itching to tug at the curls on his head. “The flame will protect you and guide you as it always has.”

“Isn’t there another way? That Raven girl is pretty smart, can’t she destroy it?” He begged.

She shook her head. “No, this is the only way.”

“Then why didn’t you do this when you were the flame?” He shouted at her.

“Because I didn’t know she was still present,” She looked down, “After the bombs, I thought all the tech had been destroyed. I didn’t know about her safe house, I didn’t know about Mount Weather. I just didn’t know.”

He turned away from her. “Seems like you didn’t want to know.”

“You’re right. I probably didn’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that you must now do what needs to be done. You are the only one who can.” She leaned back in her chair and began the process of explaining everything she could to him that might help him survive this ordeal.

\------------

She rubbed at her still aching head. Raven and Monty had been typing away at the computer and trying to explain what they had been doing for the last twenty minutes and she was no closer to understanding that she had been when she walked in. 

“So can you, or can’t you shut it down?” She asked. 

Raven turned to look at her, her face unimpressed. “That’s what I’ve been saying. We might be able to if we can find the right area of code. She’s got it well protected but if we can find a way in, I can do it.”

Before she could ask any more questions, Bellamy shuffled in looking forlorn, “Bellamy?” she questioned, but his eyes didn’t raise to meet hers. “Are you okay?”

He closed the distance on them before he looked up but still was unable to meet her eyes. By the time he did meet her eyes both Monty and Raven were looking at him as well with a question in their eyes. “I'm okay. I know how to stop A.L.I.E.. I have to take the chip.” His tone was flat and she could read the terror in his eyes, though his mask stayed in place. 

She sputtered as she replayed the words he had just said, “I’m sorry. What?”

“I have to go into the City of Light and find the kill switch.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest, his tone almost petulant as he hunched around his center. 

“Yeah, sounds like a great idea.” Monty said, the sarcasm dripping from his words. 

“Bellamy, listen to me.” She said, moving closer to him and dropping her voice. “A.L.I.E. wants the Flame. If you take the chip you're giving it to her. The second someone sees you, A.L.I.E. is going to know you're there. She'll kill you. If your mind dies, you die.”

“The Flame will protect me.” He said, shaking his head. “I don't know how I know, but I just know.”

Raven surprised her and Monty by agreeing. “I believe you.”

Clarke shot her a glare before asking, “Do you even know what you're looking for?”

“I'll know when I find it.” He answered, shrugging. 

“You know, it's actually a good idea.” Raven offered. “It’ll be easier to find with A.L.I.E. 2.0 in there, because she will be looking for him instead of watching me and Monty and we can try to help guide you from the outside.” 

She sighed. “I’m not going to be able to stop you, am I?”

He shook his head, a soft smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. He opened his mouth to respond when Raven cut him off. “But wait until Monty and I get a little further in, we need to actually break into the city of light before you take that chip.”

Clarke gritted her teeth, “Bellamy, can’t I talk to you alone for a moment? Please?” 

When he nodded, she stomped passed him, she could hear her friends chuckling at them, their whispered words still met her ears, the trouble they predicted he was in. 

She kept up her angry façade until he closed the door into the room they had shared the night before. She collapsed in on herself with the clicking of the door lock.“Bellamy, I feel like this is a bad idea. Like I’m going to lose you. Where is this coming from?” 

His humorless chuckle met her ears, “honestly, Clarke, I don’t know that this is a good idea, but it’s coming from Becca Pramheda. I’m not good at understanding all of the tech that you guys understand. She tried to explain it to me but what it boils down to is the flame will protect me and guide me in order to destroy A.L.I.E.” His eyes begging her to understand. “She said this was the only way.”

Her feet moved of their own violation, taking her right into his space, her hands reaching up to cup his cheeks. “Why? Why is this the only way?” 

His large hands came to rest on her lower back, his thumbs brushing back and forth gently, under her shirt. She shivered as her skin heated from the feel of his skin on hers. “I don’t know, Princess, but it’s our only choice.”

She rested her head on his chest, her hands falling to rest beside her head. “I hate this.”

“Me too.” He said, one of his hands came up to tilt her face back to look at his. His head dipping to press his lips against hers. “I feel like we are almost out of time and it scares me.”

“It’s my fault, everyone I love gets hurt. Over and over again and it’s always my fault.” She tried to turn her eyes to the ground, but he wouldn’t let her.

“No,” he shook his head. “No. It’s not your fault, Princess. It’s just what it is. Life can be cruel, but we still have a little bit of time.”

Before he could say any more, she surged up and pressed her lips hard against his. Her hands sliding up his body and twisting into the hair at the nape of his neck. He groaned low in his throat when she tugged at his curls. His hands moved down from her lower back to squeeze her ass before drifting down to her thighs. She jumped to help him lift her off the ground, legs locking around his waist as he carried her to the bed. 

He set her down gently, chasing her back across the bed as she moved toward the pillows. He pulled his lips away from her, reaching up to rip his shirt off. She marveled at the sight of his toned chest, the scars on his skin spoke of all that he’d survived. Her eyes turned back up to meet his, his eyes blown wide with desire. She reached down and slowly pulled her shirt up off of her body, her eyes watching his face, their tongues darting out to wet their lips. 

When she dropped her shirt to the side he moved in close, pressing his lips to the skin of her neck, trailing them up and down the column of her throat. She tilted her head to the side, giving him more access, her hands roaming over the hard muscles of his toned back, her nails scraping lightly over his flesh. 

His hands reached around to unhook her bra, his mouth chased after her bra as it slid away from her chest, his lips laying kisses on her breast reverently. Her head fell back on the pillows behind her as she gasped, her body heating up as coils of pleasure wrapped around her, centering in her pelvis. He trailed kisses down the flat of her stomach while his hands worked at pulling her pants down her hips, his thumbs catching her panties on the way down. 

Before she could recover her words he was nosing at her warm folds and pleasure was threatening to overwhelm her. His tongue darted out to taste her, hands wandering over the soft skin of her thighs. She groaned as she pressed herself harder to his face. “Bell,” she called out, her words halted with pleasure. “Please.” 

He pulled away with a smirk, “Please what, Princess?”

She whined at the loss of contact. “More, please,” she begged, her brain unable to articulate anything further.

“I got you,” He said before he slipped two fingers inside of her, his tongue going to work on her clit. She cried out at the sudden intrusion, her hips urging him faster, harder, as she pressed herself down on him, her hands gripping the sheets. His hands and mouth worked up to a frantic pace as she chased down the fast approaching orgasm. 

He nipped softly on her clit, sending her over the edge of pleasure with a cry. His head lifted to watch her as she pulled at the sheets below her, her head tilting back and forth heavily. Her whole body tensed as he continued to plunge his fingers in and out through her orgasm, slowing only slightly as she came down, her muscles relaxing and her eyes fluttering back open. 

“One more,” he said as he dipped his head back down. “For the Princess.” A third finger joined the other two. His fingers moved at a punishing pace as she squealed, her hands grabbed for his head, threading through his hair, not knowing if she wanted him to stop or put her out of her misery and bring her over the edge again. He licked and sucked at her clit and before she knew it she was hurtling head first over the edge of pleasure again, pulling a deep groan from her throat as she clenched down on the fingers that were still inside her, rubbing softly at her as she rode the waves of pleasure.

He finally pulled away when her body slumped down for a second time. His mischievous smirk had her grinning lazily back at her, her cum still glistening on his chin, his body still nestled between her thighs. Her body jerked as she recovered from the intensity of her two orgasms. When he dipped his head again she thought he was going to start in on her again but before she could bring the words to stop him to her lips he was wiping his chin on the sheets and pressing a soft kiss to her thigh then pulling away to lean back over her whole body. 

He pressed his lips to her’s, running his tongue along the seam of her lips, letting her get a taste of herself. He ground his pelvis against hers and she shuddered at the feel of the rough denim that covered his hard cock over her overstimulated core. “Bell.” she whined. 

“Think you have one more?” he asked, grinding down on her again. 

“Mhmm,” She agreed slowly, her hands already moving towards his pants, working them down as quickly as she could. 

He stepped away to discard the fabric quickly. When he moved back to cover her, her hand snaked between them, grabbed his cock and guided him to her, not wanting him to tease her any further. He hissed when she gripped him, his hips jerking into her small hand. He pressed into her slowly once she lined him up. They both groaned when he was fully seated inside her. 

His hands reached down to lift her legs away from the bed below her, opening her up further to his intrusion. Her pleasure-soaked body unable to do anything more than wrap around his neck as he started to piston in and out of her. She could feel the strain in the muscles of his arms that held her legs up and braced his upper body on the bed. “Clarke.” he groaned, his head dropping to her chest as he moved. “I’m close.”

She knew he wanted her to dive off first, she reached a hand between them to rub at her over sensitive nub. She heard him mutter “shit” as her hand made contact and she knew he was watching his own cock slide in and out of her from where his head rested against her sternum. She threw her head back when he gave an especially hard thrust, her body arching into him as they both chased euphoria. 

She felt his hand push hers away from her clit before his thumb was pressing roughly against her, his hips moving faster and faster. She felt him throb within her a moment before she felt him explode, coating her inside with his cum. He pressed down harder on her clit and she was gone again, lost in her third orgasm as his hips stuttered in and out as they rode the waves of their shared high. When he was spent, he dropped heavily on top of her, letting her legs fall to the side. She had just enough energy to wrap her legs around him to keep him from pulling out of her for the moment. “Don’t go.” She pleaded; her voice wrecked.

He nodded against where his head rested on her chest. “I’m not going anywhere, Princess.” He promised, dropping a chaste kiss on her breast drawing a shudder from her. He groaned as the shudder reached where they were still connected. “Oh, Princess, if you do that again we won’t be leaving here for a long while.”

She laughed, her walls tightening on him with each heave of her chest. “Mmm, Bellamy.” She hummed, her arms coming up to wrap around him. “I could live in this moment forever.” 

They laid that way for a while, hands gently exploring until she felt him start to twitch back to life between her thighs. She clenched down on him and she heard him groan. She did it again only for him to retaliate with a nip to the breast his mouth was pressed against. She rocked her hips up towards him, his half hard cock sliding in and out as his spent body sent blood racing back down. 

He pulled out of her and sat back, his hands dropping to her hips that still rocked up for a moment. Before she could protest, he flipped her over on her stomach, drawing her hips up away from the bed. He drove back into her, her back arching as his balls smacked her clit, pulling a cry from her mouth. 

The strength of his thrusts pushing her body closer and closer to the headboard. She felt his hands gripping hard against her hips as her hands grabbed for the rails of the headboard in front of her. “Bellamy.” She called out, his knees pushing her legs wider apart as he folded his upper body over hers, one hand landed on the bed next to her side, the other grabbing her breast. 

He kissed and nipped at the skin over her arched back, until she begged for more, harder, faster. He reared back, the hand that had been on her breast reaching forward to grip her hair, yanking her head back as he pounded harder, faster. The sting of his hand pulling her hair, the sound of his body slapping against her thighs and the feel of his balls hitting her clit, over and over, had Clarke tensing up quicker than she thought this would go. 

She was moments away from falling over the edge again and she told him so, only to have him pull out of her again, wrenching a frustrated cry from her lips. She turned her head to look at him over her shoulders, his hand stroking his cock as he looked at her, the mischievous smile back in place. “Bell?” She asked, her voice thick with pleasure. 

He pulled her up, turning her to face him. She sat up and immediately reached out to grasp him, her hand knocking his own off his cock. She used her other hand to push him onto his back before she settled herself over him. “This is my favorite.” He groaned out as she lowered herself on his cock, his eyes screwed shut. 

She grabbed his hands, lifting them to her chest as she started to ride him, her hips rocking over him quickly. Her hand dropping back to her clit and rubbing furiously, her head dropping back in a silent scream, pushing her tits harder into his large hands. He pulled her down to kiss him, a hand moving away from her breast down to grab her ass as he lifted her enough to snap his hips up into her, her fingers still working at her clit. She pulled her lips away from his when her lungs cried out for more air.

Her body started to tense as she reached the peak of pleasure again. When his hips started to slow, she ground herself harder, leaning back away from him to keep her pace, no matter how his hands tried to still her hips. Her fingers were getting clumsy on her clit and it was only a moment before his thumb pressed down on her clit, shooing her fingers away. “Oh Bellamy, I’m close.” 

“Me too, Clarke.” He ground out, as she rode him hard. “You feel so good. I love watching you ride me.” 

His words sent her crashing into the waves of ecstasy. She cried out as her hips stuttered in the wake of her orgasm, his catching the previous rhythm until he was pulsing inside of her. The feel of him coating her inside for the second time that night sent a shiver up her spine, drawing a groan from his lips. She pulled away from him, her heavy body fell on the bed beside him, not touching, her body a live wire from all the stimulation. Before she knew it, they were drifting back off to sleep. 

\------------

When he woke up hours later, he felt himself stirring against her ass that was pressed tight to his groin. He rolled away before he could start anything else with his wayward cock, that wanted only to stay buried in the warmth of his beautiful wife. He sat up leaning over his thighs, willing his erection to subside before it required actual attention. He heard the shifting of sheets behind him and he turned to look at Clarke, who’s blonde hair was a tangled wreck from their activities early this morning. 

His cock twitched again as his eyes ran over her perfect chest, only marred by the hickies he’d left there hours before. He turned back to look at the blank wall in front of him, squeezing his eyes shut he started counting backwards from 100. He heard a groan fall from her lips as she stretched, and he winced internally at the sexy sound.

He stood up and reached for his pants and underwear, quickly pulling them up over his hips. When he turned around again, she’d thankfully pulled the sheet over her exposed chest and her eyes were laughing at him. “Where’s the fire, Bell?” she asked, sitting up. Her hand thankfully keeping the sheet pressed to her chest. 

He leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. “If I stay in this bed, we definitely won’t be leaving the rest of the day and I don’t think your friends would appreciate that, besides we need to fix that gate in case any of your people come back when I enter the city of light.”

Her shoulders sagged as she agreed, pulling the sheet with her to search for her clothes. When they were both fully clothed and presentable, he pulled her into his chest, hands running up and down her back. “I’ll try to come back to you. With everything I have, I will try.” he whispered into her hair. 

He felt her tense in his arms. “I know you will.” She whispered back. “But I still don’t like it. I’m scared, Bellamy.”

“Me too, but this is who we need to be to survive, we have to lead our people.” He kissed her head before pulling back from her. “We need to get through this then we can get back to being who we are, together.”

She nodded, lacing her fingers through his, she headed for the door. When they entered the hanger everyone else had already joined Raven and Monty. Raven eyed their linked hands but kept her thoughts to herself, shooting a raised eyebrow in Clarke’s direction. Clarke shrugged back to her but didn’t let go of his hand.

“Okay, we need to make some preparations before Bellamy enters the city of light. The other commander’s in the flame think that A.L.I.E. may send her chipped minions here when she realizes that he’s there. So, we need to fix the gate. Miller?” Clarke turned to the quiet boy to their left. “Can you and the others work at repairing as much of the damage as you can, get the electric up and running to the fence?” 

They nodded as Clarke turned to Raven. “Raven, do you need him close to you while you work? Or can we barricade him somewhere?” 

“No, I should be able to see him when he gets there, but I still have a couple more hours of coding before he does that.”

Clarke nodded. “Okay, Octavia, you, me and Bell will go further into the Ark to hide him. The rest of you will stand guard around Raven, in the hanger. Like we did at the drop ship, keep the door open until the very last second. Try not to kill anyone if you can avoid it.”

“Well we know someone is going to die now,” The slurred words fell from Jasper’s mouth, making Clarke cringe. “Clarke is making plans again. Hey Miller, maybe this time she will get  _ your _ boyfriend killed.”

“Jasper that’s enough,” Miller said sternly at the same time Monty told him to “go sleep it off.”

Bellamy stepped closer to Jasper, dragging Clarke behind him. “Jasper, I’ll hear no more of that. That was not Clarke’s fault and from what Octavia told me, she wasn’t responsible for killing Maya anyway. So, back off. Besides, it's not like you are in any condition to be helping make the plan. Go dry up, we need you sober before we do this.”

Jasper gave him a mock salute before stumbling away, Monty turned angry eyes on his back. Those not required at the computer moved towards the gate, toiling away for hours, by the time night had fallen. Octavia had gone out to hunt and returned with a brace of rabbits for dinner. Someone had gone in to pull- Raven away from the computer screen only to have her rush back into the hanger after shoveling her dinner down her throat. Throwing an absentminded, “I’ll be ready by morning.” as she hobbled back as quickly as she could. By the time they got the gate semi functional and closed, night had truly fallen. They shuffled back inside, most to their rooms to catch a couple hours of sleep, Monty heading back to the hanger to check in with Raven. 

They were woken up the next morning by Monty again, saying they were ready. The air had a chill to it, and he felt a shiver run up his spine. Clarke laced her hand with his and Octavia followed behind them as they moved to the most interior room in Arcadia, Raven was rapid fire coding with Monty next to her when they walked away. 

He sat down in the chair in the room and Clarke handed him the chip. “We'll keep you safe.” She promised as she pressed a kiss to his head, he reached up and cupped her face. He ran his thumb along her cheekbone, she turned her head to press a kiss to his hand before pulling away and pulling out her gun. The door locked in front of Clarke and Octavia. 

Swallowing the chip, he closed his eyes like he was going to fall into the commander’s space, but when he opened his eyes he was surrounded by large glass and concrete structures. They loomed over him, but he could still feel the sun on his face and where there should have been shadows there was light. He looked around at all the people that walked through the city leisurely and not a single person paid him any mind. He turned to look round only to find Lincoln standing on a corner, looking for something, or maybe, someone. 

“Lincoln?” he asked, there was no response as Lincoln continued to look around. “He can't hear me."

Lincoln started to walk away, and Bellamy moved to follow him before he heard his name being whispered. He turned his head in the direction of the sound only to see the sacred symbol flashing on a lighted pole. He turned in that direction, remembering Becca’s words that he must hurry. When he reached the flashing sign, he looked around for more signs, searching other lighted poles only to see flash red hands.

He spun himself in a circle looking for anything, his frantic eyes almost missing the sign in the folds of a stranger’s hair. He took off after the woman, weaving between the bodies of others. He followed her for miles to what looked to be the center of the city. He felt the blood begin to run from his nose and a sudden weakness that took him to his knees. 

He struggled back to his feet as heads started to turn in his direction. He turned and ran as they started to chase him. He got halfway up a set of stairs when the weakness hit him again, pulling him back down to his knees. The crowd converged on him, kicking out at him. He struggled against them, unable to overcome the weakness. 

The sound of a warrior cry met his ears as someone jumped into the fray, swords flying quickly cutting down person after person. A hand reached down pulling him back to his feet, steadying him as he wobbled. 

“Lexa?” He turned confused eyes on the petite commander. 

“Our fight is not over.” She said as she pulled him, urging him to move quicker before the others now chasing them reached them.

He stumbled after Lexa, gritting his teeth against the pain that tried to overwhelm him. “Something's wrong.” He panted as they whipped around a corner, the crowd rushing past them. 

He slid down the wall as his breath turned shallow. “I can’t” 

“Bellamy.” Lexa said sternly. “A.L.I.E. knows you're here. She's uploading the Flame from your mind. Your mind's changing things. You have to and quickly.”

He looked up at her and nodded. When he tried to stand up his knees gave out and his arms failed to hold him up. He heard Lexa calling his name, but his ears rang with the sound of blood rushing through his ears. 

\------------

Clarke watched Bellamy’s eyes flutter under the lids of his eyes, her heart in her throat. Octavia’s hand landing on her shoulder startled her. “He’s strong.”

She nodded, thought the feeling in her stomach was tied up in knots. She started to turn away from him when his breathing turned shallow. She rushed over to his side, cupping his face. “Bellamy?” 

She stroked her thumb across his cheek when he started convulsing. “Bellamy!” she cried, Octavia rushing over to them. Clarke’s hand ran over his forehead. “He’s burning up.” 

“What do we do?” Octavia asked. 

“I don’t know, we need to cool him down, but we don’t have anything here to do that with.” She said frantic, pressing her lips to his head as his convulsing stopped for the moment. “Come on, Bellamy. Fight. I need you. We all need you.”

\------------

Bellamy could have sworn that it was Clarke’s voice asking him to come back, to fight, but when he looked at Lexa the words were pouring from her lips. “Bellamy! Come back!” Lexa cradled his head in her hands as he tried to get his eyes to bring the world back into focus. “Listen to me. Now the upload has begun, A.L.I.E.'s people will be able to see us. We need to be more careful.”

“Why aren't they here already?” He asked, confused. 

“The Flame offers some protection, but less and less.” She said, helping him to sit up. “Can you stand?”

“Yeah.” He nodded as he struggled to stand with her hands helping to steady him. The ding of a bell turned his head to see a little girl riding a two wheeled contraption, on her back a bag with the holy symbol. “We have to find that Kill switch.”

Lexa nodded and they took off after the little girl. “We're losing her!” He cried as she rounded a corner.

When they rounded the corner, the little girl was passing through a fence, a fence that locked itself as they neared it. “It's a firewall.” Lexa shouted to him as they huffed. 

“I don't understand” He said as he looked at her.

A familiar voice turned him around. “You'll never get to the kill switch.” Lincoln moved towards him slowly. 

Lexa unsheathed her sword, but he shook his head at her. “No, it's okay. Lincoln, what are you doing here?”

“Trying to stop you.” He shrugged. “You've seen the City of Light now. It's perfect. There's peace. Happiness. Safety. Why would you wanna deny that to anyone?”

“She's torturing people, taking people’s memories.” He argued, remember the words that Raven had told them. “Controlling them. This isn't even you. This is A.L.I.E.”

“She's doing what has to be done.” Lincoln said, his face turning gentle as it had so many times in the past.

“She took away our choice! Human beings have free will. We get to decide how we should live!” He argued, not knowing why because this Lincoln would never understand. 

“Human beings are the only species that act against our own self-interest. Torture each other. We fight, we hurt each other. Break each other's hearts. None of that exists here. A.L.I.E. is protecting us from ourselves." Lincoln argued back softly, so like the man he remembered outside of the city of light.

Lexa grabbed his arm. “Bellamy, there's still time. We'll find another sign, let's go.”

Lincoln moved to block their path. “I can't let you do that.” A crowd gathered behind, Thelonious at the head of them, moved in next to Lincoln. “Bellamy! There's nowhere to run. It's over. The second A.I. can no longer protect you. Stop fighting.”

“Bellamy!” Lexa cried pointing towards the wall on their right. A large door with a bird in flight painted on it appeared. 

“Raven.” He whispered softly; excitement filled him. Lincoln moved into his line of sight. “Lincoln, get out of the way!”

Lincoln shook his head just before Lexa struck out at him, moving him away from the door. A cry rose from the crowd as they started to charge. “We can't let them follow.” Lexa said, urging him towards the door. “Go! I'll hold them off!”

Lexa charged into the crowd as he moved through the door. A bright light hit his eyes forcing him to squint against the intensity. His name was called as he blinked the world back into focus. When he looked around, he was surprised to see the stars surrounding the room he found himself in. The interior looked a lot like the inside of the Ark. “I'm glad you made it. There isn't much time. The code is nearly updated.”

Becca motioned for him to follow her toward a workbench, a lever sat squarely in the center. “This is it.” Becca said. 

He gently set his hand on the kill switch when a woman that looked a lot like Becca appeared on his left wearing a sleek cut red dress. “If you pull that, you will be killing everyone. See for yourself.” She said in a robotic voice point out the window in front of him. The world turned from green as fires covered the globe. “The nuclear power plants that weren't destroyed by the bombs have begun to melt down. My drones detected the first of them four months ago. There are more than a dozen at-risk plants around the world. Seven are currently burning. Global radiation levels are already rising. By my calculations, in less than six months the Earth's surface will be uninhabitable. Even for those born in space. So, you see, the City of Light is the only thing that can save you.”

He looked at Becca who just shrugged, his hand still resting on the lever, hesitating. “Black rain will come first. There will be no drinkable water. Precancerous lesions will form on-” A.L.I.E. continued. 

“She's stalling.” Becca cautioned. “As soon as the update is complete, she'll delete the kill switch.”

“I am not stalling. I'm telling the truth.” A.L.I.E. promised.

He turned back to A.L.I.E. “Why tell us now? If it's true, why not use this to get people to take the chip instead of torturing them?”

She looked at him curiously. “The last time I warned my creator of the threat to human survival, she chose to lock me away and come here to work on my replacement.”

Becca turned to A.L.I.E. “Define perverse instantiation.”

“Perverse instantiation:” A.L.I.E. cocked her head. “the implementation of a benign final goal through deleterious methods unforeseen by a human program.”

“By killing six and a half billion people to solve overpopulation? The goal isn't everything, A.L.I.E. How you reach the goal matters too. Sorry that I didn't teach you that.” Becca turned back to him. “It's now or never Bellamy. Once A.L.I.E.'s upgraded I won't be able to help you anymore.”

“But I will.” A.L.I.E. said. “In the City of Light. You don't have to bear the burden of decisions like this one, Bellamy. You don't have to live with the pain of the things that you've done anymore. The lives you have taken, and those you've lost.”

He squeezed his eyes shut as she continued to try to persuade him. “You will be at peace. You will live forever.”

“I've tried running away from my pain. It doesn't work.” He argued back. 

“Your people don't agree, Bellamy. You heard Lincoln, even those who are coerced would choose to stay here.”

“Give them a real choice, and I won't pull this lever.” He said. “Give them back their pain, their memories. Let them decide for themselves.”

“She can't. Her core command is to make life better for mankind. She still thinks she's doing that.” Becca reminded him. “20 seconds, then the kill switch will be gone.”

“Would you really condemn the human race to die in six months?” A.L.I.E. asked. Her hands gripping the table as she leaned towards him. 

“We'll figure something out. We always do.” He said.

Becca gave a small cheer. “Yes, Bellamy, there is still hope.”

“According to my calculations, there is not.” A.L.I.E. said. 

“10 seconds.” Becca reminded.

“Let me ease their pain, Bellamy. We can save the human race, together.” A.L.I.E. begged.

“You don't ease pain. You overcome it. And we will!” He said turning back to the lever. “Besides I made a promise I’d come back.”

He pulled the lever as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was looking into the worried blue eyes of his lover. “You did it.” She whispered, pressing her forehead to his. 

He nodded. “I had a little help.” She looked at him quizzically. “Lexa and Becca were there, previous commanders, and I swore at one point I heard you.”

Tears welled in her eyes as he looked at her. “I thought I was going to lose you for a moment there.” 

“I’m here.” He kissed her lips briefly. “I promised I would come back to you.”

She laughed a little before pulling back from him. He heard frantic feet running down the corridor towards the room they were in. Monty burst in; Octavia flourished her weapons before she realized who it was. “A.L.I.E.'s gone.” He shouted excitedly.

“Yeah, I figured.” Octavia deadpanned.

Bellamy looked around sadly, Clarke’s eyes questioned him, but he shook his head. “Later.” he promised. 

They walked back to the hanger bay, people slowly rising to their feet all around them. Clarke’s friends, his friends he mentally corrected, were helping them back to their feet. Clarke gripped his hand and pulled him back out the door, promising that they would return shortly. 

When she sat him down on the bed, they’d shared for the last several days, her hand came up to turn his face towards her. “You're not acting like someone who just saved the world.”

“Because we didn't. Not yet.” He told her everything about the impossible decision he was forced to make. 

Her face softened. “We'll figure something out.”

“Can we figure it out later?” He asked, laying back on the bed. 

“Whenever you're ready.” She promised, laying back beside him, her chin on his chest, one arm draped over his chest. She pressed a kiss to his chest before laying her head down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope you liked it. I hope you caught the nods towards other important conversations Bellamy and Clarke had as people from the sky. Next chapter should be out by next weekend. Start of Season 4 here we come.


	23. If I Needed A Mountain Moved I move It Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Call for a general meeting.” She told Raven. 
> 
> Raven left, leaving her alone with Wells to follow at a more sedate pace. “What are you gonna do?”
> 
> “Hope that there's a forgiving god.” She said, her hands trembling as she fought off the panic that threatened to overwhelm her for the second time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again have to apologize for my tardiness... I had to go out of town for work last minute, so that meant I had to pick myself up out of my depressive mood and clean my house for the dog sitter, instead of write.
> 
> I do have the next chapter partially written so hopefully that means I get it out sooner than later.

Clarke laid next to her napping husband, worry creased her brow, mind racing at the prospect of telling everyone that even though they had stopped one threat, a worse one loomed on the horizon. She nuzzled further into the warmth of the man beside her, her fingers forever drawing invisible paintings on his chest. She was so lost in thought she didn’t notice Bellamy stirring from the too short nap after the mental fight he’d endured. 

Bellamy’s large hand fell on her dancing fingers, made her jump before shifting her head to look up into his dark eyes. A gentle smile on his full lips. “Hey.” he whispered. 

“Hey, yourself.” She whispered back to him, a small smile pulling the corner of her mouth up, but not quite reaching her eyes. 

He pressed his thumb to the furrow in her brow as if trying to wipe away her concern. “How do we tell these people that the world is ending after everything they've been through?”

“We don't.” She said, laying her head back on his chest. “Not until we know A.L.I.E. was telling the truth.”

“It was the truth.” He said adamantly. 

She sighed, sitting up and scooting to the edge of the bed, arms resting on her spread knees. “Still, we keep it to ourselves until we know what we're dealing with and how to stop it.”

“You're afraid of how people will react?” He asked, his body following hers to curve around her slumped form. His hands wound around her middle, linking over her stomach. His strong thighs bracketing her own.

“Yes, we gave them back their pain. Let's not add to that by telling them they're gonna die in six months.” She said as she leaned back into him, her head fell back against his shoulder. “Once everyone's rested, we go home and get to work. We didn't survive this long just to let a little radiation take us out.”

He nodded, pulling her back across the bed to lay down against the pillows. “So we rest.” His fingers played absently with the ends of her hair. He pressed his lips to her forehead. When she turned her head to look at him again his eyes were already closed, his breath evening out underneath her cheek. 

\------------

The next day they arrived at the Polis markets - markets that had been so lively only weeks ago - to see blood soaking the cobblestone streets. The remnants of bloody crosses hanging over them, a threatening specter of the terror that had plagued them less than a day ago. He reached out to lace his hand with Clarke’s as he watched people grieve over the bodies of the dead, some seeming to have died with no injury. 

The wails of a broken woman met his ears and pulled him forward. Her wrecked eyes met his as they moved towards her, Clarke started to reach into her med kit in case the woman in front of them needed medical attention. He stopped in his tracks as he looked down at the dead man she huddled over. “He chased me in the City of Light. Lexa killed him.” The whispered words fell out of his mouth, Clarke turned her head to look up at him with a question in her eyes. 

“Wanheda, you did this.” The woman’s screech met his ears as she stood up and rushed at Clarke, a knife clutched in her hands. 

“No!” He moved to intercept the distraught woman, fear rushed through him. “No, she didn’t do this. The Skaikru did not cause this. They are just as much a victim. She helped save us, again.”    
  
The woman collapsed in his arms, tears streamed down her face. “Heda, please. Skaikru brings only destruction. How can you keep protecting them.”

“I know you are hurt, but this is not their fault.” He said, helping the woman to steady her feet under her. 

The others around him had turned to look at him and Clarke, Murphy and Miller stood silently behind them. Octavia had raced off as soon as they moved through the gates of Polis in search of Lincoln. He hoped that Lincoln had survived the mental fight with Lexa when he had moved into the space room; hoped that his sister wouldn’t know the pain of the woman barely holding her feet steady. 

He watched as some of the Skaikru who were still in the city moved towards him. He hadn’t felt nerves from a crowd’s eyes on him since he first became Heda, but he felt them now. Clarke’s hand which he had dropped earlier remained at her side and no matter how much he wanted it in his hand, they both had their parts to play. “My people. We have suffered much, from a demon in our minds, taking hold of everything we are and erasing it. I know you think that Skaikru is to blame, but that is not true. Becca Pramheda created this demon when she was not yet a commander and she did not make a leash for her beast.”

The crowd looked at him with surprise. “We need to care for our dead, help our wounded and then we will hold a meeting. I will give your ambassadors more information. I will explain it all so you might have a better understanding.” 

He watched as some people nodded, but still more sent Skaikru distrustful looks. Kane approached him shortly after people lost interest in watching him standing next to Clarke, no more words falling from his lips. “Son, you did a good thing but I don’t know that it will be enough.”

“It will have to be for now.” He said, turning a look to the subdued Clarke still standing at his side. “See your people to the edge of Polis, then find us in the tower. We have much to discuss.”

He headed into the tower, Clarke following, withdrawn into her own head. 

\------------

Her head which had not stopped running through scenarios, only began to ache as the day went on. She sat at the table in their room, head in her hands. They had been pulled into meeting after meeting and she finally had to call it quits and head to their room. She lifted her head at the sound of the door opening. When Bellamy called out a soft greeting to her she dropped her head back to her hands, her own soft greeting falling off her lips. 

She felt the warmth of his hands rubbing at her shoulders before she felt his lips on the back of her head. “Your mother and Kane should be here within the hour, just in time for dinner.” 

“My mind keeps racing, Bellamy.” She murmured, leaning back, seeking the warmth of his body. She lifted her eyes to his. “How do we save all of our people?”

He pulled her up and into his arms, her own wrapping around his back. One of his hands threaded through her hair, the other ran soothingly up and down her back. “We do it together.”

She tipped her head up, her lips sought his out as she pushed him back into the couch behind him. He smiled into the kiss as she straddled him. “We’ve got an hour right?” He nodded with a chuckle. 

\------------

He felt the eyes of Abby Griffin on him as he ate. The silence in the room was overwhelming, uncomfortable. Clarke’s hand landed on his leg with a comforting squeeze every so often. He noticed Abby’s eyes not missing her movement, the tension rising with every attempt that Clarke made to soothe him. 

The clatter of silverware finally cut through the silence, Abby’s patience at its end. “What don't we know? Why are you not acting like you just saved the world? I know you, Clarke. Tell us.”

“You don’t know the reason A.L.I.E. created the City of Light.” Clarke said with a sigh, her eyes darted to his.

Kane looked to Bellamy, his fingers danced over the brand on his arm. “Why?”

“Nuclear reactors inside power planets that survived the bombs are melting down.” Bellamy explained, his eyes closed for a moment, trying to dig out the words A.L.I.E. had thrown at him. “Radiation levels are already rising. If we can't figure out a way to fix it, all of us will be dead in six months.”

“A.L.I.E. told you this?” Kane’s eyebrows rose in question.

“Yes.” He nodded as he felt the brush of Clarke’s fingers on his hand.

Abby’s incredulous voice met his ears as he watched her eyes narrow in his direction. “And you believe her?”

“Raven's looking into it.” Clarke said at the same time, he said. “I believe her.”

“Even if it's true, that's six months away.” Kane said. “We have other problems, A.L.I.E. broke what little peace we’d been able to eek out with your marriage. We won’t be able to solve this problem if the threat of war is looming over our heads.”

“I will do my best to keep the wolves from your door. But we will need to tell them something, the question is how much of something do we tell them? We’ve been pulled into meeting after meeting all day today and you’re right that there is unrest in our people.” Bellamy turned his eyes on Kane. 

The room fell back into silence, nothing really decided.

“I need to go back to the Ark, Bell.” His eyes cut to her quickly, a question in his and Clarke turned to him hesitantly. “I can’t help much from here.”

“I’ll come with you then.” He decided.

She flinched, “Bell, you are needed here. To keep the world calm, to reassure them that we are doing everything that we can to save everyone.”

“Clarke” He paused, not really knowing what he wanted to say. She smiled back at him unhappily, her eyes mirrored what he felt inside.

\------------

It had been two days since she heard Bellamy's voice cry out, “Let it be known that an attack against Skaikru is an attack against us all.” as she hurried out of the city, hot on her mother’s heels. She had felt her throat tighten as tears burned the back of her eyes. Her heart aching at the frustration, the anger that laced his tone.

She closed her eyes against the memory before turning to Raven. “We've been at this for two days, there must be something we haven't thought of. What if we could reach the nearest nuclear reactor?”

“I told you, the meltdown started months ago there's no magic button to turn them off.” She said rubbing her eyes, her frustration with Clarke’s pestering leaking through her tone. “This isn't black rain but it will be soon. That's why we have to focus on riding out the radiation, finding someplace safe. And big enough to hold all five hundred of us.”

“This isn't just about saving us. I made a promise to Bellamy, it's about saving everyone.” She bit back, her hands aching to grab at her hair and yank. 

Raven’s hand slammed on the table. “That's why we need to tell everyone. Crowdsource it. If there's another Mount Weather out there the Grounders will know about it.”

“You think they're just gonna tell us? Just like that?” Wells' voice was more hostile than Clarke had ever heard it before. “If you tell everybody they're going to die the Coalition is over, Bellamy falls and the Grounders will be at our gate.”

“Then just tell our people. We need more minds on this problem.” Raven begged through gritted teeth. “On the Ark, people volunteered for the Culling because they were told the truth and given a choice.” Raven turned to Clarke. “A choice your dad died for.”

“You think I've forgotten that?” Clarke rounded on Raven, anger narrowing her eyes. “You think I’ve forgotten what I’ve given up for our people?”

Raven shrunk back on to her chair. Monty’s eyes flicking back to the group at the sound of Wells’ voice before returning to their vacant stare out of the window. “Ok, we'll tell everybody the truth as soon as we have a viable solution. Without one, it'll start a panic.”

“You don't know that.” Raven started to argue at the same time that Monty shouted. “That's it!”

“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked, turning her back on Raven who was still fuming. 

“Think, Alpha Station survived for ninety-seven years in space, through elevated radiation levels and extreme temperature fluctuations. Sound familiar?” He asked, excitement growing in his voice. “All we have to do is patch up the ship. We're standing in our viable solution.”

Clarke turned an excited smile to her side, in her hasty excitement expecting Bellamy to be at her side as he had been recently, the smile dropping off her face when she realized he wasn’t there. They had Mount Weather, they had The Ark, if they could be fixed in time but they still had thousands of people to save. 

\------------

He roamed the hall unable to sleep; worry over Clarke, the future and how to get his people to calm down weighed heavy on his heart. Everytime he laid down to try and sleep, the bed felt too big, even though he’d only had her for a few short weeks. 

_ Clarke. _

Her worried blue eyes haunted him. He wanted to do nothing more than to fix things for her, to take her away from all the awful things that had already happened and that were still coming.

“Big Brother, what are you still doing up?” Octavia’s voice startled him out of his reverie, he tried to shake off the nervous energy that lingered as he turned to face her. “Bell? Are you okay?”

He nodded, “Yeah, you just startled me that’s all. I’ve had a lot on my mind.” 

She nodded, moving closer to him, her arms slinking around his waist. “You miss her don’t you?”

“Yeah,” He agreed, his own arms encircling her shoulders, drawing her tightly to his chest. “How is Lincoln.”

“He’s,” she paused to draw in a deep breath. “He’s recovering. He feels guilty that he was taken a second time. He feels broken.”

He drew in a sharp breath. “It wasn’t his fault, Kane told me what happened to him, why he took the chip. He saved that little girl, by giving in.”   
  


“He knows that, but first the mountain then A.L.I.E.. He doesn’t feel like the warrior that he’s supposed to be.” She shrugged, pressing deeper into his chest.

“Has he told you this? Is he talking again?” He pulled her away slightly to look into her face. 

“A little. The words are coming back little by little, but he doesn’t need words for me to know what he’s feeling.” She quirked an eyebrow at him, a smirk played on her lips. “Kinda like you and Wanheda.”

“Don’t call her that. She doesn’t like it.” His tone was hard as he looked down into his sister’s smiling face. She started laughing at him and he couldn’t help but chuckle with her. “But you knew that didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did.” She laughed. “You need sleep, Bell. Clarke wouldn’t want you to be exhausted in the upcoming fight for everyone’s safety. There is much unrest among our people.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He agreed, pulling away from Octavia after giving one final squeeze. “Good night, O”

When he entered their room he heard the crackle of a radio, his heart clenched as he raced over to it. “Bell?” Clarke’s sweet voice sent a rush of relief coursing through his body. 

“Hey, Princess. I’m here.” He sighed, only slightly embarrassed at the breathy relief he couldn’t hide. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He could hear the world weary tone in her voice. “I miss you. I wanted to hear your voice.”

“I miss you too, Princess. It’s so good to hear your voice.” he confessed. “I miss going to sleep with you, waking up to your beautiful face. Everything seems colder without you here.”

He heard the uptick in her breathing as she responded back to him. “I miss all that too, Bell. I wish you were here to bounce ideas off. I don’t think we are any closer to a viable solution for everyone. We haven’t told anyone what’s happening yet.” She paused. “But Raven is right. We need them to help. We need them to work and they aren’t going to do that without knowing what is at stake.” 

“Then tell them.” He encouraged. 

“I’m scared.” She confessed. “What if I tell them too much and that backfires? What if the counsel was right in keeping the flaw in the system from everyone on The Ark? What if -?”

He cut off her worried rambling. “Clarke, you got this. We have some ideas right?”

“Yeah.” He could picture her nodding her head as her fingers clutched at her brow. “The Ark, if we can get it patched up, Mount Weather if we can get the turbines we blew up fixed. But that’s not enough. That’s only about 2500 people,  _ if _ we can get them functional.”

“Okay,” he conceded. “But that’s a start. Tell them. Tell them enough so they understand what’s at stake.”

He wanted to wrap his arms around her when he heard her sigh. “We need a pass to get through to Azgeda.”   
  


He sucked on his teeth. “You’ll need to see Roan. I’ll send a message to him through his ambassador. He won’t be satisfied with half answers Clarke. Why do you need to get through Azgeda?”

“Well…” she trailed off before launching into an explanation of what they were looking for and things they would need and what her and Raven had planned. He settled against the pillows of their bed for what he knew would be a long conversation. Because even though he could hear Becca in the back of his mind trying to whisper information about what Clarke was saying to him, he still had no idea what she was talking about. 

\------------

Several days later Clarke stood next to Wells as everyone prepared to head out to Azgeda. Her meeting with Roan, two days prior had gone better than expected, though his smug smile still frustrated her. He’d pulled more information from her than she had wanted to give him, but it got her the pass and a warning that not all Azgeda were loyal to him. 

“Hey, a blueprint for the hydro generator.” Raven handed Monty the blueprint as they walked passed, largely ignoring Clarke. “And don't forget it's filled with hydrazine that combined with oxygen can make water so, go slow.”

“And the hydrazine could go boom, I know.” Monty reminded Raven, flicking his eyes over to hers for a brief moment before turning back to Raven and adopting a teasing tone. “Raven, I got this. Don't you have a ship to fix?”

“Battery's full.” Wells finally said. “If we're lucky we won't have to stop to recharge.”

She nodded. “Even luckier if Roan's seal will work it's supposed to. If you get in trouble, just show this.” She handed over the seal. 

“Got it, thanks.” he grabbed the seal from her with haste as he avoided her eyes. “Load up! You could still come with us.”

“No, I can't.” She said. She knew that he didn’t actually want to be around her, she could see it in the way he couldn’t face her. “Arcadia is just plan B, it doesn't help the Grounders. I'm not stopping until we have a solution that saves everyone.”

“We save who we can save today.” He said before moving towards the Rover, without another word. “Alright, let's go!”

She wandered around for a while, wishing once more that Bellamy could be there to help her through this. Murphy was still missing and Wells couldn’t stand her, she felt more alone than she had in years, more alone then she’d felt stuck in solitary. 

“We've got a lot of work to get ready for winter.” She watched Raven as she directed the five people who had volunteered to help. “Sector four, crack in the outer wall we need to patch it up, start by repairing the damaged panels. Sector five we need to get that tree out of the hole and seal it up. Any questions? Ok, go.”

“You ok?” Clarke asked as she approached Raven, who seemed to be moving a little more stiffly than usual. 

“There is so much to do and I get a total of five volunteers to help me fix the ship?” Raven ground out, her hand falling to her hip. 

“It's a start.” Was all that she could offer, not nearly enough to soothe Raven’s frustration with her.

“I can't run this repair alone, Clarke.” Raven finally stopped to look her in the eye. “Even if I had complete mobility. Even if Sinclair was still alive. Who the hell am I giving orders, I'm,” She paused to steady her breathing. “I'm not the chief.”

“I'm not the Chancellor. But here we are.” She sighed, feeling the weight of leadership far more heavily now than she had before, her stomach rolling with unease at her lack of self-confidence. “For what it's worth, there's nobody I trust to do this more than you. As soon as Wells gets back with that machine, we go public with everything and get you the help that you need.”

The sound of heavy footsteps stopped them from speaking any further on the matter for the moment. She turned to see Jaha walking up the ramp towards them. “Am I interrupting?”

“What do you want?” Raven growled.

“I was an engineer before I was Chancellor.” He explained gently, his eyes cutting to Clarke’s as if she had forgotten that fact, forgotten how he’d met her family. “I supervised the redesign of sector five.”

“And how many people died Sector five from in the Culling when you sucked the air out of their lungs?” Raven hissed. 

“Forty-two.” Jaha said, Clarke could feel the weight of his words mirrored in her own mistakes. “Would you like to know their names?”

Raven stormed off and Clarke hurried to follow after the angry girl. “Raven, wait. We could use the help.”

“You do know he made me cut my wrists to force your mom to take the chip, right?” Raven hissed at Clarke and all she could do was sigh. This was frustratingly becoming the norm for their interaction. She couldn’t help but wonder if Raven hated her just as much as Wells did.

“He was chipped, too.” Clarke reminded her. 

Raven paused before whirling on Clarke, stopping her forward movement. “He searched for the City of Light. He brought A.L.I.E. here. He showed her how to overcome free will.”

“Yes, those are my sins and I have to live with them.” Jaha spoke from closer than Clarke had expected, spoke up before she could argue back. 

“Raven.” She started with a gentle tone, trying to keep her from a fight. 

“You wanna help?” Raven snapped at Jaha before Clarke could say anything further. When Jaha nodded she watched Raven grit her teeth. “Go sort the scrap.”

“Whatever you need.” Was all he said before moving off to the scrap pile. 

\------------

He heard his name being called from the tinny speaker of the radio, but when he answered her she didn’t respond right away. He settled on the couch for their nightly conversation like he had done for the last month since she’d been gone. Some days she was more optimistic than others and it sounded like today was not a good day for her. She sounded near tears today. 

“It's too many people.” She said over the sound of shuffling papers. 

He waited for her to expound on her words, unable to offer any words to help her work through what was going on in her mind. He heard the sound of her feet pacing around what he hoped was her room. She sounded more and more exhausted every time they talked. He heard the slap of skin on metal, her hand, he hoped. “Damn it!” She said, her words mumbled over the radio. 

“Clarke?” He finally called out to her, when it seemed like no more words would be forthcoming. 

“Bell.” She sighed. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

He wished he could run his hands over her silky skin to soothe her. “It’s a big ask, even for someone as mighty as you.”

The sound of her humorless chuckle reached his ears, but it sounded like heaven to him. “Oh, Bellamy. I wish you were here. There is so much that just isn’t the same by myself anymore. And I feel like no one else is here for me, with me. I just, I just wish you were here.”

“Princess, I wish I was there too.” He said, the image of her bright blonde hair flickering across his mind’s eye. 

“I think the stress is getting to me, Bell.” Her words sounded like a confession of some sin. “I was sick this morning, I have been nauseous and sleep doesn’t seem to come to me at night.”

“Well let me help you. I want you to go lay down.” She started to protest but he shut her down before her protests could gain steam. “Lay down, Princess. Let me tell you a story.”

Her laughter filled the radio before the sound of shifting sheets hit his ears. “Okay, Bell. Tell me a bedtime story.” 

He stood up and moved to his bed, laying down and bringing the radio up to his lips. “Okay, close your eyes, Clark and just listen to my words.” He took a deep breath before launching into the story. “Once upon a time, there was a handsome young heda. His people lived in peace, tenuous peace, but peace nonetheless, for the first time in recent memory. The appearance of a blonde Princess would change his world, far more than he could have ever predicted as he watched her ship fall to his earth.”

He heard the soft giggles from his precious wife as he paused for breath. “Shh, Clarke, you are supposed to be listening to my bedtime story while you fall asleep.” Her giggles came through the radio again, this time sounding less awake. 

\------------

The loud beat of music woke her from her sleep, she rolled over to the side of the bed before pouring herself out of it, the radio clattering to the floor as she did. She tiredly shoved her feet into her boots, storming down the hall. She felt the nausea of not enough sleep settle in her stomach, her anger pushed against it, only allowing it to tint the edges of her senses. 

She turned the corner to see Jasper singing and swaying with others, a clear bottle of moonshine in his hands. She moved closer to him, her hand gently pulling him away from the others. “Hey. Can we talk?”

“Sure,” He agreed, a goofy look settling over his features. “I got about six months. No waiting. what's up?”

“I'm trying to make sure that we have more than six months.” She said, trying to keep her tone pleasant. “Which is why these people need to get back to work, not drinking or too hungover to do so in the morning.”

Jasper shrugged. “I didn't force them to stop. I guess they think it's the end of the day, not, you know, the end of days.”

“Don't you want us to survive, Jasper?” Her frustration and confusion leaked into her words. 

“Nah, I don't want us to survive.” he swayed as he looked at her. “I want us to live.” 

“If we don't repair this ship, none of us will have that chance.” She moved in closer to him, lowering her voice as people moved closer to them. 

“What about free will? That's why he destroyed A.L.I.E., right?” He moved into her face, his voice just as loud as it had been when they were standing feet apart. “Why don't you tell them the truth?

“Keep your voice down.” She hissed. 

“You should let them decide what they want to do with their last six months.” He swayed again, a malicious grin sliding across his face. “What are you so afraid of?”

“We can't just go to them with no solutions, people will panic. Besides we are going to tell them once Wells gets back, once we have a plan.” She felt her frustration start to shake her hands at her sides. 

“Ah, I see. That's spoken like the council that sent a hundred kids to die on the ground.” She recoiled as he sauntered away from her. She wasn’t sure that he was wrong, and that was the problem. 

She stumbled back to her room, kicking her boots off before laying back down on the bed, knowing she wouldn’t get any more sleep, no matter how tired she was. 

Clarke was surprised when she woke up with the sun shining in her room, having not expected to get any sleep last night. She was still feeling the lack of sleep from the last couple weeks that had caught up to her and her exhaustion was warring with her need to get things done. 

She poured herself out of bed again and stepped back into her shoes before heading off in search of Raven, ignoring the rumbling of her stomach, ignoring the nausea that threatened. She moved quickly around the Ark to engineering. “Raven?” she called out as she rounded another corner. “Raven you here?”

Instead of finding Raven, Jaha was set at the scrap pile holding up something. “Polyethylene silicon elastomer. We don't need that for a winter storm or to protect us from a grounder attack. What are we really bracing Alpha Station for?” 

She eyed him but kept her lips sealed. He quirked an eyebrow at her like he’d done when she and Wells were little and in trouble. Wells usually caved and forced her hand to make up their plan to get out of punishment on the fly, but Wells wasn’t here and she wasn’t that easy to break anymore. He smirked as he continued. “Heavy lies the crown. I know the burden of keeping a secret you think is going to destroy your people.”

“You locked me up.” She argued, unimpressed with his attempt to reconnect. “You floated my father.”

“And now you understand why.” Jaha stood up and set his work down. “No leader starts out wanting to lie, or imprison, or execute their people. The decisions you face just whittle you down piece by piece.”

“So what do I do?” She asked, taking a step back from the man who used to read her and Wells bedtime stories before he became the monster in the story of her life.

“I'll tell you what I told your mother after the Culling.” He said, moving to follow her retreating steps. “We make the best decisions that we can with the information that we have. Then hope that there's a forgiving god.”

She looked at him for a moment before turning on her heels and fleeing the room. She raced back to her room. “Bellamy? Bellamy, please come in.” She called out, folding in on herself. Her heart raced at the idea she was becoming just as bad as the monsters in her life. “Please Bellamy, I need you.”

Tears dripped down her face as she rocked herself back and forth, gripping the radio to her chest. She tried one more time to call out to her husband before she slumped over on her side and pulled her knees to her chest, curling around the radio. She tried to slow the pounding of her heart as she laid on the cold floor, her breath rapid and shallow. She had all but given up before she heard the crackle of the radio. “Clarke?” 

“Bellamy” She sobbed in relief at the sound of his voice. “Oh Bellamy, I’m a monster.” 

“Clarke, what happened?” His voice was rising with panic. “Clarke, talk to me. You are not a monster. Come on, Princess, please.” 

She couldn’t stop the tears that fell from her eyes, her breathing becoming so harsh she couldn’t talk around it. “Bell, I can’t breathe” she panted out. 

“Clarke, I want you to breathe with me. In and out.” She tried to mimic his breathing. When she finally managed to slow her breathing down, her heart rate followed. “Clarke, Princess, can you tell me what happened now?”

“I was looking for Raven and I found Jaha instead and he’s smart, Bell. He knows something is happening. He said some things and I realized I’m as bad as he was. I realized that I was a monster, maybe worse than he was. I might not be floating individuals but no one knows what’s going on and I dropped a bomb on TonDC and I killed the innocent people in the mountain. that’s almost worse, I’m worse.”

“Oh, Clarke. You are not a monster. If you  _ were _ a monster, you wouldn’t feel so bad. Clarke, I wish you weren’t doing this alone, let me come to you.” He begged.

“Bellamy, I would love nothing more than to fall into your arms but we can’t.” She paused a moment to suck in a steadying breath, to try and not let her wherewithal falter. “There is still so much that we have to do, but Bell. I think I’m going to have to tell them.”

“Okay, I trust you, Clarke.” He said. 

She closed her eyes and pressed the radio to her forehead. “I love you, Bellamy.” 

“I love you too, Clarke.” His words were tender and she felt her resolve waver for a moment before she pulled the radio away from her head and told him she needed to go find out if Wells and the others had made it back. 

When she clicked off the radio she clenched it in her hands, pressing her forehead to the floor beneath her as she whispered to herself. “Bellamy, I need you here. Come hold me.” She took a moment to compose herself, taking a deep steading breath before she uncurled and stood up. 

She wiped at her face before she moved back towards the hanger bay, knowing that there was nothing to be done for the redness in her face. When she reached it, they were unloading, Miller and Bryan were talking heatedly, just outside the rover, drawing her attention to a singular focus which caused her to almost miss the new face that climbed out of the rover. A face she hadn’t seen since before she’d been imprisoned. “Riley?”

“Clarke?” His voice was surprised. 

She raced forward to hug him, “I can't believe you're alive.”

“Get Riley and others to med bay.” Wells called to the rest of the team as he exited the rover behind what she assumed was the last of the people “Tell them we'll take them to their sectors in the morning.”

Raven limped around Clarke.“Where is it?” 

“We didn't get the machine.” Wells said, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Clarke looked at his hard face, his eyes not meeting her’s, “It didn't survive landing?”

“No, it did.” He let his hands fall to his side, his eyes finally came to land on her face. “But I had a choice, bring the machine home or use it to save them.”

“Oh, we are so screwed.” Raven complained. 

Wells puffed out his chest, widening his stance. “We have time. But I am not sacrificing any more innocent lives.”

Clarke shook her head, her heart breaking in her chest as her mind started to race. “You just did.” If she wasn’t careful she’d end up with a full blown panic attack and there was no way she’d be able to hide that from Bellamy who would undoubtedly race to Arcadia, away from where he was needed. 

“I made the call and I'll live with it.” Wells spit at her. 

“Yeah, you're not the only one who has to live with your call, as usual.” Raven spit back at him and Clarke reached her hand up to rub at her forehead where a pain was beginning to form. 

“Go tell them!” He shot at Raven, “Go tell Riley I should've left him to die.”

Clarke cut in before Raven could argue back anymore. They didn’t have time for their petty arguments. “Okay, how many of us will the ship sustain without a hydro generator?”

“No more than a hundred.” Clarke felt Raven’s words crush her. Even if they could get Mount Weather up and running before then that put them at less than 2000 people.  _ Not enough _ her mind played on a loop. 

“What am I supposed to tell the people now?” Clarke turned her weary eyes on Raven. 

Raven’s own softened as she looked at Clarke. “The truth, crowdsource it, like we talked about.”

She nodded, “Call for a general meeting.” 

Raven left, leaving her alone with Wells to follow at a more sedate pace. “What are you gonna do?”

“Hope that there's a forgiving god.” She said, her hands trembling at her sides as she fought off the panic that threatened to overwhelm her for the second time that day. 

She stood at the top of the ramp and told her people as much of the truth as she could. She told them why the city of light was created and why Bellamy had given them their free will back. “So now you know the truth. I know you're afraid, I know you're angry, but when Bellamy shut down A.L.I.E. He knew there was a way for us to get through this, together. Alpha Station is that way, Mount Weather is that way. Every single one of us will survive this. It won't be easy, Raven needs volunteers if we're gonna get it ready in time. It'll be a lot of work but now you understand why we need to do it. If we stick together, I give you my word, we won't just survive, we'll thrive.”

She stepped down right into the path of Raven’s angry eyes. “Nice speech.”

“Sometimes hope is more important than every piece of truth.” She told Raven. “And it isn’t a lie. We all can survive if we can get both of them running. The grounders will need us to keep everything functioning while we ride out this wave.”

Raven scoffed.“Your dad would be so proud.” 

“You wanted workers, you got them.” Clarke bit back, before she turned away, sniffling back tears. 

Raven sneered at Clarke before turning the other way, beckoning them to follow her. Wells’ hand dropped on her shoulder as she moved passed him. “We save who we can save today.” he said. She looked up at him before pulling her shoulder away and retreating to her room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this came out right, I struggled with the tone of this chapter for some reasons. Toeing the line with the character changes and the original story line is harder than it looks


	24. I’m Far From a Preacher, But I’m A Believer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Her body's rejecting the radiation on its own.” Abby pulled Luna over to an empty cot. “Here please sit down. I’d like to run some tests.” She turned her head over her shoulder. “Jackson!”
> 
> Jackson stopped short when he saw Luna. “What did you do?”
> 
> “Nothing.” Abby looked at him her eyes meeting Jackson’s. “There's only one variable. There is one thing that separates Luna from the others.”
> 
> “Nightblood.” Clarke said before whispering the words that only hours earlier had seemed like a foolish death wish from people who’d never had a chance at survival. “From the ashes we will rise.”
> 
> \------------
> 
> “Bellamy?” Clarke called across the radio. 
> 
> He shuffled the paper’s out of the way before moving to grab the radio. “Princess.”
> 
> “Bell, I think we might have a solution.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another one. Ta Da. I'm going to try and get back to my two chapter a week schedule if thing ever calm down at work.

“Two meals a day for people working as hard as ours,” Wells’ shifted over the inventory paper. “we won't make any friends.”

Clarke sighed. “Well, if there's one thing our people understand, it's rationing. Besides, once we close those doors, it'll be one meal a day for the next five years.”

“Try one meal every other day.” Raven scoffed, looking up from what she was tinkering on. “Hunting parties are coming back with less and less. Thanks to your friend Niylah, we're preserving more meat than ever, but it's still not enough. Without a way to make water, growing our own protein like we did on the Ark is not an option.” She turned to Wells with a snide smirk. “Remember that when we're starving.”

“I won't be starving because I won't be inside.” Wells spit at Raven.

Clarke’s heart seized at his words, she spat the words at him as she stood up, panic rising up in her chest. “Yes, you will.”

“Does that mean you made the list?” Raven picked back up the small metalwork she’d just laid down, her attempt at nonchalance failed.

“No.” Clarke shook her head as she paced away from her. Turning on her heel she faced Raven. “What about drinking water?”

“Clarke, don't change the subject. We need to know who's gonna be on the inside of these doors when radiation comes.” Raven eyed her, unimpressed. 

“We don't need to know now.” Clarke argued back, about to expound on her point when a voice over the loudspeaker called for medical help at the front gate giving her a solid excuse for escape.

She turned on her heel and was out the door racing towards the gate before anyone could think to stop her. The sight that greeted her made her nervous and she had to take in a steadying breath before she could approach the guard who had his gun trained on the healer at their gate, surrounded as he was with sick people. 

The soldier trembled as he told Nyko not to come any closer. “Please.” Nyko begged, the look of desperation clear on his face. “They need Skaikru medicine.”

Wells, who had apparently followed her, moved over to the guard, pushing his loaded gun down. “Move.” He growled, pushing the crowd back from the gate. “Stand back.”

“Nyko.” Clarke called as she moved closer to the healer, Miller’s hand on her arm stalled her.

“What if it's a grounder attack like they did with Murphy?” Miller’s eyes darted to the clearly sick people. 

She shook her head and gently pulled her arm from his grasp. “Nyko, what happened to them?”

“The sickness.” Nyko said, not having the words to accurately name what was happening, looked at a loss with the apparent aggressiveness of the illness. “We lost more than 40 on the way.”

“Out of my way.” Clarke heard her mother rushing towards the gate, she felt the tension in her chest easing as her mom came into view. “Please let me through.”

“Mom, what is this?” Clarke turned back to her mother who was inspecting the red welts on a woman who was supporting a young child, her wild black hair tickled at the back of her memory, trying to get her to remember something that she couldn’t quite recall. 

“Fever, lesions, vomiting.” Her mother mumbled to herself, Clarke watched the medical information run pass her mother's eyes as she tried to find the right diagnosis. Clarke saw the concern when her mother turned to her. “It's A.R.S.”

Wells moved closer to Clarke before speaking, his voice just as low as Abby’s had been, “What's A.R.S.?”

“Acute radiation sickness.” Abby’s brown eyes held a depth of concern that Clarke wasn’t sure she’d ever seen before. Abby turned away to the dark haired woman. “When did the symptoms start?”

“Not sure. Right before the fish started dying.” She said, her body slumping further as her energy waned.

“The fish are dying?” Raven’s eyebrows shot up her forehead and Clarke could read the concern in her eyes. 

Nyko nodded. “Floating on the sea, to the horizon, in every direction.”

“It's not contagious.” Abby said, turning back to the people still milling about. “Let's get them to medbay.” When they all hesitated Abby’s voice rose as she gestured frustratedly at them “Come on”

“I got you.” Clarke heard Raven’s voice softened as she helped a young boy towards med bay. “Ok. All right. Here we go.”

“It's already here.” Clarke whispered to herself, before shaking the fog from her mind and moving to help the dark haired woman who’d finally fallen to her knees.

They’d been working on the sick grounders for several hours when Clarke pulled Jackson and her mother aside, “They're getting worse. There's got to be something we can do.”

“Delactivene might help, but Raven's got the meds on lockdown.” Jackson said, holding his tablet in hand checking over the labs they’d been pulling.

“Leave Raven to me.” Abby said as she grabbed the tablet that Jackson was handing her. “What, exactly, do the tests show?”

“The exposure is acute. Without treatment, there's little to no chance of recovery. It looks like the radiation is internal, ingested from irradiate fish. None of the outbreaks appear to be from airborne exposure. That's the good news.” Jackson said moving around to point out numbers to Abby as Clarke looked over her other shoulder.    
  


Abby scrolled through the lab report again, “Not for them.” 

“This is all that's left of my people. Can you save them?” Luna’s weakened voice asked, startling all of them. 

Clarke turned to face her, helping her back to her cot. “We'll do everything we can. You have my word.”

\------------

It was late when Clarke called him that night, he paced their room hoping he wouldn’t have to miss her call, the radio clutched in his hand. He was finally able to sit down when he heard her soothing voice come through. 

“Clarke?” He prompted. She was usually the one to carry the conversation 

“Yeah, I’m here.” She paused again. “I think I’m going crazy.”

Her words brought an uncomfortable chuckle to his lips. “Why do you say that, Princess?”

“Well besides the stress I’ve been under and the nausea inducing lack of sleep, I thought I saw Murphy today. He was in the corner of my sight for a moment, then he was gone.” He heard her sigh. 

“Well are you sure that it wasn’t Murphy?” He asked, reclining on the bed.

He could hear her shuffling around her room, another sigh falling from her lips. “If it was Murphy, why wouldn’t he come see me?”

“Well, I don’t know, Princess.” He had to admit it would be weird for the guy to not stop and see Clarke, the relationship they had confused him. “But that seems more likely than you going crazy.” 

There was a pause on the line before she said “I miss you like crazy, Bell.” 

“I miss you too, Princess.” He agreed. “I wish you were here, laying in bed next to me.”

“Oh yeah?” her tone, turned husky as she responded. “And what exactly would you do if you had me there in bed.”

He felt his body respond to her lust grazed voice. “Mmm. I’d make you feel so good.” 

His free hand dropped to his growing erection as she moaned over the radio. “You always do.” She promised. “Tell me what else.”

The words started to fall off his lips in rapid succession, the sound of her clothing rustling across the static. Her moans came louder, he couldn’t stop the question from falling off his lips. “Are you touching yourself, Princess?”

The breathy confirmation sapped his resolve and his hand that had been resting on top of his fabric-covered erection, buried itself in his pants, grasping at his engorged organ. He groaned as his hand started to pump up and down, the image of her writhing underneath him playing behind the eyelids that had dropped closed. Her begging moan reminded him that he was supposed to be talking. 

“Oh, Princess, you’d feel so good, clenching down on me as I pushed into you. I’d press you open as I thrust into you. Mmmm.” He couldn’t stop the moans that poured from him as he gripped himself harder, imagining it was her pussy. 

“Yes, Bellamy. You’d be so big inside me.” She murmured back, Her voice sounding wrecked. “I’m so close, Bell.”

He panted for a moment before he could form a coherent thought. “I’d press my thumb on your clit and rub until you came,” He paused as his hips jumped up from the sensations and images that assaulted his mind. “Do that for me, Princess. Cum for me Princess.”

He heard her harsh breaths as she told him she was almost there, the praise for her falling desperately off his lips as he chased his own impending orgasm. He was pumping his load into his hand when he heard her cry out as she reached her peak and fell over the edge.

Her breathy laughter brought him back to the present, a smile spreading across his face. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that tonight but you were so good, as usual, Bell.”

He laughed at her words. “You too, Princess. Though I wish I could have watched you fall apart under me.” She hummed in response sounding like she could fall asleep at any time. “Go to sleep, Princess. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bell.” Her sleep soaked voice called back. 

He set the radio aside before standing up to clean himself off and head back to the council room. It had been two months since he’d seen Clarke and his body was craving her. He knew their time was running low, she’d told her people two weeks back and now it was time to tell his. 

“Crowdsource.” He muttered to himself, the words Clarke had used as they talked the night before, she pressed him to ask his people if they knew of anything else like the mountain that her people might be able to get functioning enough to save them. She told him about Luna and her people showing up at her camp a couple days earlier. 

When he entered the room his ambassadors, some new, some he’d known for years, were already seated in their chairs, the war chiefs he’d called scattered around the room but moving closer as he made his way up to his throne. 

“Thank you, everyone, for being here. I know this meeting is late but I needed to make sure this did not get out before I had a chance to explain everything to you. I did not want people to panic if they overheard half the story.” He started 

They all sat up straight in their chairs, leaning forward to hear his next words. “The world is ending.” He paused to make sure that everyone was paying attention. “When I entered the City of Light to shut down A.L.I.E. she told me that the old things that used to power the world were breaking down and they were going to send another wave of praimfaya across the world.” 

The gasp he heard from some of the ambassadors did not surprise him, they were not warriors. He continued. “We were given only months to live and we have been working to find a way to save all our people.”

“Who is “We”?” The Trikru ambassador asked.

He sucked in a breath, “Myself and Wanheda.” 

Grumbling broke out across the room as he’d expected. “Enough,” he called out to bring the focus back to him. “Yes, Wanheda has been working tirelessly to find a way to save us all, at my behest, I might add.” he didn’t need them questioning his power again at a time like this. 

“We have found enough space for 2100 people right now. That’s why I’m bringing this before you now. We are looking for anything else similar to Mount Weather that Skaikru might be able to get up and running before we run out of time.” 

“You trust Skaikru?” The Trishana Kru ambassador spit the question like it was filth falling from his mouth, He glared at Kane who had sat quietly in his seat.

He nodded. “I do. I trust that my wife, Wanheda, knows her place. I also trust that you now understand why I could not let you go to war against Skaikru like so many of you wanted to. I need you to listen to Kane, he will tell you what else we need to be doing so once we find more bunkers we are prepared to move quickly. Also remember we will be sharing whatever we have with Skaikru as they are the only ones who have the technology to keep us alive, so get used to the idea of working with them.”

Kane stood up and for the first time since becoming the thirteenth clan, addressed the room. 

\------------

“Raven's looking for us.” Wells grabbed her arm as she walked passed him, headed back to med bay. 

She nodded and softly pulled her arm from his grip before motioning for him to lead the way. They walked in uncomfortable silence, she didn’t know what to say to try and fix what she’d broken when she pulled the lever in Mount Weather. 

When they rounded the corner to engineering Raven was staring at a map on the wall, her eyes flicked towards them for a moment before returning to her assessment. “So Luna's rig is here, and if the fish in these waters are dying, well, basically we're screwed.”

“I don't understand. A.L.I.E. said we had six months.” Wells moved in closer to Raven. 

Raven’s eyes turned up to his, her face soft as their eyes met. “We don't.”

Clarke watched her two friends for a moment before clearing her throat. They both jumped, startled before turning to look at her. “Well, then how long do we have?”

“It's hard to say. Radiation is dispersed by jet stream and carried by ocean currents, so it's not an exact science, but the leading indicators are small species die-offs -- fish, insects.” Raven sat down in the chair near her bench, her and absently rubbing at the muscles of her thigh on her crippled leg. “Based on the new data, I'd say we have two months of survivability” She paused, considering the map she’d been looking at when they’d entered. “maybe less.”

“The Ark won't be ready.” Wells sighed, rubbing his temple. “And we still don’t have the turbines fixed in Mount Weather. 

Raven nodded. “It'll be close. If we triple the man hours and work round the clock, we should be able to achieve a hard seal before the black rain comes. We just have to decide who gets to live here.” Her eyes turned to Clarke. “And I’ve got the other mechanically inclined people working down on the turbines.”

“Raven, we're not talking about the list again.” Clarke shot frustrated eyes at her, her arms crossing her chest, trying to close the conversation off. 

“Clarke, we are running out of time. We have to make a plan for the day we close the doors, drill for it, make sure only the survivors have guns, agree on protocols for dealing with the people who are pissed off they're not chosen.” She ticked off each point on her fingers, anger turning her words into sharp points. “You asked me to be in charge of rationing, and I am doing it, but choosing who gets to live or die is your specialty.”

Clarke winced at her words, her eyes falling to the ground when the sound of a rover turning over met her ears. “No one's scheduled to take the rover.”

Wells was the first one out of engineering, his pistol drawn as he ran in front of the rover. “Out of the vehicle, Dad”

“I need to make a run.” Jaha eyed Clarke and Wells, who now both stood in front of the rover. 

Raven yanked the door open as she limped up to the rover. “All supply runs go through me, and shouldn't you be working on the patch to sector 5?”

Jaha turned off the rover, turning to Raven. “A patch for a ship that can only save a hundred people?” Raven’s eyes cut to Clarke’s in surprise. She was unsurprised that he knew though. “Why are you surprised? I am an engineer. We have no way to generate water. The harder number is 400. Can you really sentence 400 more of our own people to death?”

“We don't have a choice.” Clarke gritted out, her hands clenching at her sides, heart in her throat.

“What if you do? What if I told you there might be a fallout shelter less than a day's drive from here, a fallout shelter built to sustain thousands?” Jaha’s voice took on the same frantic tone he’d used when he was talking about the city of light before he’d left and brought back A.L.I.E.

“We've been through the chancellor's files. All the bunkers you considered for the hundred were listed as compromised or unviable,” Raven looked over to her and Wells a question in her eyes. “and as of now Mount Weather is, too.”

Jaha nodded. “Those were government bunkers.” He handed over a tablet with a news article on it, the date in the header putting it before the bombs dropped. 

“A doomsday cult?” Wells eyed his father. 

Jaha nodded again, faster, more excited. “That's right -- the second dawn.”

“They built a bunker?” She asked, not feeling the same level of excitement. 

“Their whole theology was based on riding out the end of the world.” Jaha grabbed the tablet back, scrolling down the article before handing it back to them to point out a paragraph about the leader and his mission statement. 

“And why didn't you consider it?” She asked, her body tense as she set the tablet down on the seat of the rover. 

“We couldn't prove it existed.” When Wells asked why they should consider now when they’d written it off before, Jaha shrugged. “Because before now, we didn't need it.”

“You found it, didn't you?” Clarke asked. She knew that look, she’d seen it a million times before. Before her dad was floated that look shouted, I know something you don’t. 

“We can't be sure unless we check it out.” He offered, picking the tablet up off the seat passing it back into Clarke’s hands. 

“No. No way. We need that rover for hauling pieces of a 3-ton patch we're build-”

Clarke cut Raven off. “Yeah, but if he's right we don't need a patch.”

“Can I talk to you guys for a second?” Raven pulled them away from Jaha who just leaned against the rover, a smug smile on his lips. 

When Raven had pulled them back around to engineering she rounded on Clarke, her words were said to Wells but meant for Clarke. “Can you please remind Clarke what happened the last time Jaha went looking for salvation?”

“Raven, if that bunker is real, we can save a lot more than a hundred people.” Wells hands gripped Raven’s shoulders. Clarke watched his thumb dance over Raven’s collarbone. 

“If it's not, we've lost another day.” Raven sighed, her shoulders slumping

“Hey, look. If it's not, I'll make the list, ok?” Clarke promised.

Raven pulled away from Wells before turning away from them. “Oh, do what you want. I've got a ship to seal and turbines to fix.” Raven walked off as Wells turned to Clarke, telling her that he would drive. 

\------------

Bellamy moved slowly, he didn’t want to send his sister out into the streets to spy for him, especially now that Lincoln was finding his feet again, but he had little choice. The meeting the night before had gone well but there was so much at stake. 

He raised his hand to knock but before his hand could fall on the door it was ripped open. Indra’s angry face was not what he had expected but he had to be honest and say he wasn’t all that surprised she was there after what she’d heard the night before. 

“I see you had the same idea as I did, Heda. My nephew is stubborn and he doesn’t agree that Octavia should go out to the streets to hear what is being spread, but she was the best spy that Trikru ever had.” Indra moved passed him, before turning back to him. “For what it’s worth, Heda, if they have people like Kane and your Wanheda in Skaikru then we will follow your lead. They might just be our salvation after all.”

He could only nod as the fierce woman marched away from him. When he turned back to the door his little sister was leaning against the frame, a smirk playing across her mouth. “She’ll never change.” 

He laughed. “No, I don’t think she will, O.”

He heard Lincoln shout, “No” from the bed as Octavia ushered him in. He looked at his friend as he struggled to his feet. Octavia watching him with her arms crossed. “No, Bellamy. It’s too dangerous.”

“Lincoln, she is the Heda’s sister and a damn fine warrior. She will be okay.” He promised. “If it makes you feel better I can send someone to keep an eye out on her. Maybe Roma or one of the other girls. I know you want to be watching her back, but even if you were in any condition to do that you would be too obvious.” 

Lincoln’s normally sedate face, crumpled in frustration. “I know you’re right, Heda. But this feels wrong.”

Bellamy moved closer, grasping Lincoln’s broad shoulders. “You know, if there was any other way, I would not send her out there. If I thought she would be in danger I would not send her. And it's Bellamy to you, my brother, not Heda.”

“Don’t send the others,” Lincoln sighed. “They will only draw attention to her.”

He gripped Lincoln’s shoulder harder, “Thank you, my friend.” 

“As if either of you could stop me.” His sister snorted from where she still stood, leaning against the door frame. They all dissolved into a fit of laughter, breaking the tension that surrounded them.

“Lincoln, I want you to help me out here. I need someone to collect the information and map out where any bunkers may be, Clarke and the rest of Skaikru will need accurate information if they are going to do recon on anything we find. 

\------------

A thin man with long greying hair spoke about the end of times on the screen of the tablet in Jaha’s hands. “He gave this speech two weeks before the bombs.” Jaha’s voice cutting over Cadogan’s. 

“Please tell me you have more than this.” Clarke asked, looking over her shoulder to meet Jaha’s eyes as he leaned forward, over her seat, the rover bumping along beneath them.

“In the two years before the bombs, Cadogan sold off most of the Second Dawn's real estate holdings, generating tens of millions of dollars, but there was one thing he didn't sell.” He swiped up through something on the tablet before handing it to Clarke, Wells looking over from the driver seat. “I found this in his autobiography. It's his childhood home. His father built a bunker there to save his family. I think Cadogan used the church's money to expand it.”

“He grew up there. Maybe he kept it for sentimental value.” Wells offered, clearly not impressed with what proof his father had found. 

Jaha hummed in agreement, his face clearly not agreeing. “His father beat him almost daily in that house. He hated living there.”

“Why keep it if you're liquidating everything else?” She asked, though she already had an idea of what he was going to say. 

“Because that bunker is there.” Jaha said, his voice breathy with excitement as he sank back into his seat. “I can feel it.”

Wells eye cut to hers like they used to when they were younger, a sarcastic smirk on his lips. “Guy sounds like a religious fanatic to me.” His eyes cut back to the forest in front of them, an uncomfortable look on his face. 

“Maybe,” Jaha agreed, placating his son. “or maybe he was just a leader willing to do whatever it took to save his people.”

\------------

Some of the reports coming from his sister and others like her that he’d sent out were troubling. Trishana Kru continued to call out for the death of Skaikru, his lies cutting into the heart of people unwilling to deny what they perceived to be real. No matter what he said, there would be people that would always renounce the truth, that Skaikru had nothing to do with A.L.I.E., that Becca Pramheda was to blame. 

He paced his room, wishing, not for the first time, that Clarke was with him. Was here to give him advice. He knew that if too many people rebelled then they would never get all to safety. 

He huffed before turning on his heel, he needed to gather his war council to see what ideas they had come up with to calm what might turn into a raging sea if the ambassadors that wanted to undermine him continued to spread lies. He didn’t want to have to waste time with soulou gonplei if he could avoid it, but if that was the way to keep from all out war he would do it. He rolled his shoulders as he rounded the corner to the war room. 

“Okay. Let’s review what we know.”

\------------ 

Wells parked the rover just before a dip in the forest. They all climbed out of the rover, the dark forest quiet around them. “Cadogan learned how to survive from his father, they hunted in these woods” Jaha flicked through the files on his tablet checking the figures against where they were now. “Well, this is it.”

“Well, if anyone is entitled to a lucky break, we are.” She heard Wells murmur to himself as they looked around. 

Jaha paused, his head tilted up. “You hear that? No insects” She met Wells eyes, sure that her eyes were conveying the concern she felt. “What?” Jaha asked as his gaze danced between the two of them. 

“Luna said the fish were dying.” Clarke said, finally turning to look at Jaha. 

“What are the things that eat the fish and bugs, gunna eat now?” Wells asked. 

She turned to Wells, a deprecating smile on her face. “What happened to us deserving a lucky break? So what are we looking for?”

“The bunker would have been at the lowest point” Jaha said. She nodded before moving ahead of them.

“Anything structural.” Wells called after her, she acknowledged him with a wave of her hand. “Be careful.”

The forest was thick and overgrown the further she traveled down the sloping hill. She slipped on some slick decaying leaves that were littering the forest floor, only to have her foot stopped by the rise of a concrete floor. “Over here.”

She heard the guys moving quickly through the forest, Wells pushing ahead of her and Jaha with his gun raised. “Stay behind me and watch your head.”

The chill from the still air in the entrance way sent a chill racing up her spine. Wells, bent over the bones of some poor person who’d been fleeing whatever horror had ended their life. She saw Wells reach out his hand to pluck something of the jacket of the dead man. “From the ashes we will rise.” Wells read off before handing it to his father. “Not this guy”

“The 11th seal.” He turned the metal object over in his hand. “Their faith was based on 12 seals. Followers could level up by unlocking them one at a time. Only those who reached level 12 could achieve salvation.”

Clarke felt hope rise up in her chest. “Maybe that’s why they didn’t let them in.”

“Wow. I was right.” Jaha pressed a hand to his forehead, a beaming grin stretching across his face. 

Wells started to move towards the door at the end of the hall, she grabbed his jacket sleeve before he could get too far. “What if they are still in there?” Worry rang out in her voice. 

Wells met her eyes with concern, with a small jerk of his head he moved closer to the door and started to knock. “Hey! Is anyone still in there? Hey!”

“It’s still sealed.” She watched Jaha’s fingers sliding around the edges of the door that his son still knocked on. 

Clarke’s eyes took the chance to really look at the door. “There are no locks, no handles.” Her voice faded out with confusion. 

“That’s because it was designed to be opened from the inside.” Jaha commented, distractedly.

“Or from the outside by someone with a rover.” Wells turned to look at Clarke. 

She nodded and they returned to the Rover to move it closer into place. The drilled handles into the door to secure the chains, taking longer than she would have liked. Finally, after what felt like hours they were able to move away from the door and start to pull with the Rover. Wells pressed on the gas putting more and more pressure until a loud boom was heard and the Rover shot forward several feet. 

“What happened?” She looked over at Wells. 

His excited smile met her eyes, like it had so many times growing up. “Let’s go find out.”

“It worked.” Jaha’s voice was excited. Wells lit a flare holding it high above them, illuminating the cavernous space. There were thousands of dead bodies, mummified, lining every spare spot. Jaha shook his head in disbelief. “This can’t be.”

“It wasn’t sealed.” Wells' eyes took in the horror. The small body of a child clinging to an adult sent a wave of nausea through her body. “The radiation would have killed them within days.”

  
The sadness of the lost lives blanketed the three of them as they drove back, the desperation of their plight kept the words from flowing any further. How was she supposed to fix this? Save the rest of her people, save her love?

The sun was rising again when they pulled into the hanger bay, Wells and Jaha moving away from her after climbing out of the rover. She didn’t have the heart to follow them, the words that hadn’t come when they were out there, still stuck in the back of her throat. 

She knew that sleep wouldn’t come. She knew she’d have to start to make the list of who would survive, she’d promised Raven she would, but her heart was breaking for those that wouldn’t make it. She turned away from her room instead moving towards the med bay. The sight of Murphy exiting surprised her. “Murphy?” 

He looked up and met her eyes, surprise radiating from him just as brightly as it did from her. “Clarke?” She felt a sob bubble up in her chest before she rushed over to circle her arms around him. His arms came up to rest against her back, running soothingly up and down her spine. “Clarke, are you okay?”

She pulled back to look into his face, a smile on her face until her frustration over her worry for him rose up. She smacked her hands against his chest before wiping the tears from her face. “I was worried about you. Where have you been?” 

He laughed, pulling her back to his chest. “Remember that hot grounder girl?” He paused until she nodded her head. “I was with her.”

She laughed at that. “So you abandoned us for a piece of ass?” His snort of amusement was enough of an answer for her. “How long have you been here? I thought I saw you the other day. I had convinced myself that I was going crazy. That you wouldn’t show up here and not stop in to see me.”

She felt him tense around her, she pulled back to look at his face, his name falling off her lips in question. “I thought it would be easier, I thought if no one saw me they would eventually forget about me and I could go on and be with Emori. I didn’t know about the end of the world, if I had I would have come back. I would have made a point to come see you. I was actually on my way out to go get Emori and bring her back here.” 

She pulled away with a sigh, her fingers brushing away the last of her tears. “Well, go on then. Go get your girl. We might not all survive this but at least you should get to spend the rest of your time with someone you love.” 

“What about you, Clarke? When do you get that chance?” Murphy grasped her elbows as she tried to move out of his personal space. 

She felt the tears well up again. “When our people are all safe. That’s when.” She pulled away moving around him even as he called her name. The doors of the med bay closed behind her, locking away her own needs once again. She needed to get an update on Luna and her people, Bellamy needed that information to keep himself safe, keep their people safe.

She heard the murmuring in Trigedasleng as she rounded the corner, her mother resting head down on folded arms at her desk and Jackson clicking away at the tablet in his hands. The wild haired woman was bent forward, the final rights of her kru falling off her lips. “Luna?” 

To her surprise the grounder woman is looking healthier as she stood, making her way closer to Clarke. Her mother who must have woken up to the sound of her voice came up next to Clarke, a gasp sucking through her lips at the sight of the healthy woman. “Impossible.”

“We didn’t treat her.” The sound of Raven’s whispered words pulled Clarke’s attention from Luna for a moment to look at the brunette who’d walked up beside her. 

When she turned back to the grounder, her mother had her hands on Luna’s forehead before sliding them down to her neck. Nyko’s own hand followed the same path. “Your fever is down.” Abby noted. 

“How?” Nyko’s voice was amazed. 

“Her body's rejecting the radiation on its own.” Abby pulled Luna over to an empty cot. “Here please sit down. I’d like to run some tests.” She turned her head over her shoulder. “Jackson!”

Jackson stopped short when he saw Luna. “What did you do?”

“Nothing.” Abby looked at him, her eyes meeting Jackson’s. “There's only one variable. There is one thing that separates Luna from the others.”

“Nightblood.” Clarke said before whispering the words that only hours earlier had seemed like a foolish deathwish from people who’d never had a chance at survival. “From the ashes we will rise.”

\------------

“Bellamy?” Clarke called across the radio. 

He shuffled the paper’s out of the way before moving to grab the radio. “Princess.”

“Bell, I think we might have a solution.” Her voice sounded happier than it had in weeks. “Can you come visit. I know you’ll have to go back but I think this is something you should see in person.”

His body snapped to attention, the excitement radiating off him at the prospect of seeing her in person after the last 3 months. Especially with their time running so short. When she called out his name again, he realized he hadn’t answered her. “Yeah, Princess. I think I can make that work.” 

He could hear the smile in her voice when she started to tell him about her day, why he hadn’t heard from her the night before. He ended up cutting their conversation short, promising he would see her soon, that he would set off as soon as he could. 

“I love you, Bell. Be safe. I will see you soon.”

“I love you too, Clarke. I’ll be counting the moments until I see you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought?


	25. I Couldn’t See Your Face, But I Prayed For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know,” Abby began, “When I first found out that Clarke was going to marry you, I didn’t like the idea. The only thing I knew about you was that you abandoned us when we needed you. When my baby needed you, forcing her to make a horrible decision by herself. I’ll admit I hated you.” 
> 
> He tried not to flinch from her accusing eyes but he couldn’t stop it when her eyes met his. “Abby, I -”
> 
> She held up her hand stopping him before he’d really begun. “I know why you did it, and you don’t have to explain yourself to me. I would have done the same thing, did do the same thing. Clarke is better than all of us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go... this chapter is kinda just a filler, not too much in the way of action, but it gets us to the next bit so it’s still important.

Clarke paced just inside the gate as she waited for the convoy with the Commander to arrive. Her eyes flicked up to look for them every few moments, not seeing the trail of dust or the crowd of people before returning them to the path she walked. When the guard in the watch tower called a heads up that people approached, she jumped having seen nothing in the distance only moments ago. She turned to peer out still not seeing a column of riders like she was expecting. 

Finally her eyes fell on two riders moving at a brisk pace, her heart clenched in her chest, the hope that she would see Bellamy died a little. Surely the Commander would not be allowed out at a time like this without an entourage. She moved to stand in the middle of the gate opening as the doors started to slide back. The riders finally crested the last rise, pulling their mounts up to a swift trot. 

The hoods that covered their heads gave nothing away and a little more hope withered. She rubbed her sweaty hands on her pants trying to dry her suddenly clammy hands when the riders stopped just in front of her and dismounted. She hitched her chin up a little higher as they turned to look at her. Her eyes met a familiar set of dark eyes from under the cloak, her shoulders relaxed from their tense stance, his name falling off her lips in a whisper.

His name seemed to have broken the spell that kept them frozen in place and soon they were rushing towards each other, arms winding around each other tightly. Her head tucked into the crook of his neck as his cheek rested on the crown of her head, one of his hands tangling into the hair at the back of her head as they swayed side to side softly. 

When they finally pulled back from each other, she could see the shine of happy tears in his eyes, her own mirroring his. She rested her hand on his cheek, thumb brushing away the stray tear that fell from his eye. The sound of a cough pulled them apart and she turned to find the dark skinned and strong willed general at his side. “Heda, we should get you inside. There are many eyes watching the woods and it would not be good if you were caught outside the walls of Polis.” 

Clarke nodded and ushered them into the Ark. She led them to a room for Indra telling her that dinner would be served at night fall and there would be a meeting just following, before Clarke was pulling him back to her room, the room they’d shared last time they were together in the Ark. They wasted no time shedding clothing and falling on the bed together in a tangle of limbs. 

The bell for dinner rang out as they laid, covered in a light sheet as their sweaty bodies cooled. Her head rested on his chest, her fingers dancing over the ridges of his abs as he traced up and down the soft skin of her back, sending shivers along her spine. She looked up into the face of the man she loved and couldn’t stop the flood of tears that rose up in her eyes. Before the first tear rolled down her cheek, his thumb was brushing it away. “Clarke?” 

She shook her head and smiled at him. “I know it’s almost the end of the world, but I’m so happy. I wish we could stay in this moment forever.” 

“Me too, Princess.” He smiled back, leaning up to press a kiss to her forehead. “We should probably get up and go eat.”

She groaned but nodded. “You’re probably right.” She reluctantly pulled away from him, a groan pulling from deep within her chest as she felt the sweet soreness between her legs, she turned a teasing smile back to Bellamy’s concerned face. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk right for the next week.”

A shocked laugh was pulled from between his lips as he shook his head. “I didn’t hear you complaining earlier.”    
  


“I’m not complaining.” She flirted back, reaching down to pull her pants up, her eyes darting back to watch the muscles on his back and arms ripple as he pulled his own pants up his muscular legs. 

He walked around to her side of the bed pulling her up to her feet and running his hands down her still naked back to palm her ass, kneading her flesh in his large hands. “Do you want me to kiss it and make it better?” He asked, voice husky again as she felt his groin stirring under the pants he just pulled up. 

She pushed up on her toes to press a hard kiss to his lips before pulling out of his embrace and tossing a wink at him. “Maybe later.” 

They walked hand in hand to the mess hall, her eyes searching out her friends and pulling Bellamy along to the table that Raven and Wells occupied. She spotted Indra sitting with Luna and her mother at the back of the room, Indra’s eyes followed Bellamy as she hauled him behind her. 

She watched as the Commander’s face stole over his gentle grin as Raven and Wells started to give him the rundown, as if Clarke hadn’t already given this information to him in their nightly radio calls. By the time their meals were finished and Indra and her mother joined them Bellamy had been re-briefed on everything that had happened over the last three months. 

“We are down to the wire.” Raven said, scooting closer to Wells almost unconsciously. “I don’t know if we have enough parts to fix Mount Weather in time and it will be tight on Arcadia. What I really need is someone who’s good at wiring and since Sinclair died we don’t have that anyone.”

“Well, lucky for you, I know someone who is.” Murphy’s voice startled all of them, the pretty grounder girl she’d seen him with before was trailing behind him. Her wide eyes trained on Bellamy, the hand not holding Murphy’s hid almost guiltily behind her back. “This is Emori.” 

“Emori.” Raven’s soft voice played over the name as if trying to bring forward a hazy memory. Her eyes brightened as she looked back at the other brunette. “A.L.I.E. talked about you and your brother and how good you were at finding tech and fixing things. That might work.” 

Clarke scooted over closer to Bellamy pushing him further down the bench to make room for Murphy and the girl. When Raven called her name, the quirk in Raven’s eyebrow told her exactly what the next words out of her would be. “Is the list made yet?”

“What list?” Bellamy asked, turning to Clarke and she could see the question on Murphy’s face as well.

She turned her face down to her lap, her lips glued together, Raven taking over when it was clear that Clarke wasn’t going to answer. “The list that says who lives and dies and where those that are going to survive are going to live. Once again, this is Clarke’s area of expertise”

She could feel Bellamy’s body tense next to her at Raven’s words, she laid her hand on his leg to stop him from jumping down Raven’s throat about her careless words. “No, I have not, but I know I promised you I would and I will. Tonight.”

\------------

He watched her face, surreptitiously, through the rest of the meeting. Every careless, blame filled word that was tossed her way by the people she had been raised with shocked him and yet she was the one who laid a calming hand on him as she attempted to soothe his irritation with them. He kept his thoughts to himself because they had more pressing matters at the moment but he would have some words for them if it continued. How they missed the heartbreak on her face, he would never understand. 

He pulled her down the hallway into their room, her silent acceptance broke his heart. “Clarke? Why don’t you say anything to them? Why do you let them talk to you like that?” 

“Bell, we don’t have time to get into it with them and I bear it so they don’t have too. If they need to hate me then I’ll let them do that. I will do what I need to do to make sure as many of them survive as possible, I have to.”

He huffed before sitting down at the table. “If we get both The Ark and Mount Weather, that’s 161 spots for every kru.” She pulled out a paper and numbered every available spot for her people and started to write down names. He sat next to her for a while as she bounced ideas off him, getting quieter and quieter with every name she dismissed. When she became silent, he moved over to the couch to give her some space. 

He gradually woke up to the soft sound of Clarke’s sniffles. His groggy eyes took her in, her hands pressed into her eyes as she leaned over her legs. He stood up and moved towards her, her bright blue eyes filled with tears met his as he moved in closer. She saw his name in one of the Skaikru spots, the last spot remaining open. The 7 people that would remain on the Ark checked off. “If I’m on that list, you're on that list.” 

He dropped his hand on her shoulder. “Bell, I can’t.”

“Write it down, write it down or I will.” He moved his hand from her shoulder to turn her face up to his with gentle fingers on her chin. “I can’t do this without you, Clarke.”

She pulled away from him and he sighed, pulling the pen from her tightly clenched fist as she curled further into herself. He wrote her name down before setting the pen aside. “So what now?” Her quiet, distressed filled voice asked.

“Now, we put it away and hope we never have to use it.” He said pulling her up out of the chair and leading her back to the bed. He pulled her into his arms as he ran his hands through her hair. 

She rested her head against his chest and he could feel the tears still dripping down her face onto his shirt. “You still have hope?” He heard her quiet desperation.

“Are we still breathing?” He turned her face up to his before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Get some sleep.” He ran his hand soothingly up and down her back as she snuggled into him further. 

The soft sound of knuckles rapping on the door resounded just after Clarke had finally settled into a restless sleep. He sighed and gently slipped out from under her to answer the door before whomever was behind it woke Clarke up. The hazel eyes of his wife’s mother greeted him upon the door opening. “Clarke is sleeping, Abby and I’m not going to wake her up.” 

She nodded at his whispered words before motioning for him to join her out in the hall. He followed her down to an alcove just big enough to not be seen unless they were walked upon. They stood there staring at each other for a moment longer than he would have liked after being dragged from the bed he shared with his wife for the first time in months. 

“You know,” Abby began, “When I first found out that Clarke was going to marry you, I didn’t like the idea. The only thing I knew about you was that you abandoned us when we needed you. When my baby  _ needed _ you, forcing her to make a horrible decision by herself. I’ll admit I hated you.” 

He tried not to flinch from her accusing eyes but he couldn’t stop it when her eyes met his. “Abby, I -”

She held up her hand, stopping him before he’d really begun. “I know why you did it, and you don’t have to explain yourself to me.  _ I _ would have done the same thing,  _ did _ do the same thing. Clarke is better than all of us.”

“If you know that, then why do you allow them to treat her like that?” It was Abby’s turn to flinch at his words. 

“I wish I had an answer for you, but I’ve never been the brave one in my family. That right has always been reserved for my late husband and my daughter. I am always just complicit in the goings on in our worlds, never to rock the boat.” Her shoulders sagged. “I can’t protect her anymore, I don’t know that I ever really did and besides I don’t think she would want me to protect her from this anyway. I’m sure you’ve already broached this topic with her and she told you to leave it alone, didn’t she?”

He gritted his teeth in frustration at the woman in front of him. “Yes.”

She laughed lightly, the sound filled with self deprecation. “I’m not surprised. You are a good man, Bellamy. You’ve been good for my daughter. She needs someone to look after her in a world like this. She’s lucky to have you. Leadership is a lonely pursuit, but you-- you keep her centered”

“You got it backwards.” He met her questioning gaze, unflinchingly. “I love her, Abby. But this isn’t why you came by our room well after we’d gone to bed. What do you need, Abby?”

“I need your blood and maybe your bone marrow.” She looked hesitant with her request. “Nightblood. It could save everyone.” 

“Okay.” He nodded. “I don’t know what bone marrow is but you can have it will save our people.”

“Thank you, Bellamy. Luna volunteered as well, but these procedures can be rough and Clarke needs you strong if she is going to survive the end of the world.”

He nodded waiting for a moment when it seemed like she was going to say more, their eyes taking in each other. When no more words came from her mouth he said his goodbyes and returned to his room. Clarke’s sleepy eyes greeted him when he walked back in the door. 

“Where were you?” Her voice was still sleep soaked and he hoped that she would drop back to sleep when he returned to bed. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed and toed off the shoes he’d stepped into before leaving the room. “Your mother stopped by and wanted to talk.”

“What about?” She asked, reaching out for him as he slid into bed.

He pulled her closer to him and dropped a kiss on her forehead, whispering, “don’t worry about it. We can talk about it in the morning.” She hummed her acceptance, her breathing evening out moments after. He pressed another kiss on her forehead before he settled down for sleep. 

\------------

The sound of a crowd laughing reached her ears before she noticed anything was amiss. Bellamy had left with the group that went to A.L.I.E.’s island earlier that day, and she had thrown herself into the preparations of the Ark and Mount Weather. Riley was making a list of everything that she was telling him still needed to be done outside of the repair work. She turned away from Riley to look at the group who still stood around not moving, pulling her away from what she felt really needed to be done. 

“-bably not, but the effects are harmless, I promise, kind of.” Jasper was saying as she walked up to them. 

“All right. We've had our fun. Let's get back to work.” She ushered everyone back to work, her hand rubbing at her forehead as she turned back to the Ark. 

She heard the sound of feet following her before Monty’s voice came across. “What's with the "we're all gonna die" face?” he paused, a sheepish expression on his face when she turned to look back at him. “I mean-”

She shook her head, cutting him off. “I know what you mean.” She rubbed absently at her growling stomach. “Wells should be back by now.”

“Hunting parties go radio-silent. It's nothing new. What else?” Monty shrugged before bumping his shoulder against his. 

“I just feel useless.” She flapped her hand against her side. “I'm stuck here in case anyone needs a cut bandaged, supervising the backup plan when I should be going to the island to make Nightblood.”

Monty pulled her to a stop by her wrist, turning her to face him. “Clarke, you're not a geneticist.”

“Neither is my mom.” She grumbled. 

“Yeah. Well, they have Raven.” He pointed out, a smile pulling at his lips. “Genetic code, computer code. They'll figure it out.”

She shot him a pointed glare. “Monty, I'm serious.”

“So am I.” He laughed. “If Jaha's right and Becca created Nightblood there, they'll find her records, and all they have to do is reverse-engineer it from Luna and Bellamy.” He swung their hands back and forth, she knew he was trying to cheer her up and she tried to shoot him a smile. “Everyone lives.”

“If they can get it done before the radiation gets here.” She pointed out, her stomach rolling at the thought of never seeing Bellamy or her Mother again. 

“I guess we better finish the ship.” Monty said with a wink, pulling her along again, back to where she’d left Riley earlier. “Riley, how's it coming?”

“We're on schedule here. We should have the radiation patch up before dark.” Riley called back the words he’d already told Clarke earlier that morning. 

“See?” Monty said, tossing an arm around her shoulder. “One less thing to worry about.”

She turned to look at the fog that was coming down the mountain, the misty line of rain bearing down in a threatening line.Thunder rumbled overhead, sending unease through her body. “All right. Everyone inside, just like we practiced. Go.” She shouted. 

The sound of the alarm called out as she ushered people in ahead of herself. She heard Monty calling out for Jasper as they reached the door, she turned to see him slowly strolling back toward the Ark. “Jasper, what are you doing?”

“Can't live your life in fear.” He called back to her.

Her heart clenched in fear, hammering quickly against the inside of her rib cage, as she watched as the line of rain started to fall within the walls of Arcadia’s compound. “Run!” She cried out.

Jasper turned his head up as the rain reached him. His tongue darting out to catch the rain, head tilting back with his arms spread wide. Her legs ached to run out to him, her hands quaking at her sides as adrenaline coursed through her body. She heard Harper trying to hold Monty back as he called out to Jasper, the other blonde begging her to tell them what to do. 

Jasper started to gag as he fell forward and her knees started to tremble. “The sky is falling.” He said haltingly before he screamed out. “Whoo!” he cackled to himself, arms raised over his head.

“What is wrong with you?” She screamed at him, her eyes watering as nausea rolled through her, adrenaline rushing out of her body. 

She heard Jasper saying, “It's just rain, not radioactive ash.” as she rushed away from the door back to her room. She closed the door behind her before darting into her bathroom and emptying her stomach into the toilet. She slumped over to the ground when she finished puking, limbs trembling and heart racing, tears spilling over onto the ground she laid on.

\------------

The boat rocked under his feet as they neared the island. “Where are the other boats?” Murphy asked as they pulled up to a dock. 

“Without A.L.I.E., there's no reason to be here.” Emori said, her eyes darting nervously back and forth as he watched her nervous movements.

Abby looked down at the map in her hand before moving onto the dock. “According to Thelonious' map, the lab is in the middle of the island, 5 miles straight ahead.”

Jackson murmured quietly to Raven as they disembarked before Raven bit out a snarky reply to Murphy’s comment about returning to the island. Nyko and Luna had moved off into the sand of the beach as the Skaikru soldiers spread out with their weapons at the ready. He followed slowly behind them as they moved closer to the line of white stone that seemed to cut off the forest from the beach. 

“What's wrong?” Abby asked when Emori hesitated in front of one of the stones. 

“A.L.I.E.'s rules” Her eyes were unfocused as she recalled some memory from her past. “No frikdreina past this line. I've never crossed it.”

He winced at the word as it fell from her lips, knowing the kind of treatment she would have received from their people. “Frikdreina?” Jackson looked confused as he repeated the strange word. 

She nodded back to him at his correct pronunciation before clarifying. “Mutants.”

“I never met a line I wouldn't cross.” Murphy said as he crossed the line of stone, reaching his hand back for Emori. 

“All right, everyone. Let's go. We have a long walk ahead of us.” Abby called out to refocus the group. 

A loud buzzing suddenly filled the quiet. Everyone stood at attention, looking for the source of the sound before a large back object filled the sky behind them. The quick hum of hurried conversation filtered over the buzz. Just as Raven asked what the penalty for crossing the line was the pop of guns rang out. 

He ran forward to put an arm around his mother-in-law and hurried her under the safety of the trees. Once they’d all moved under the cover of the trees, momentarily keeping them from the drone’s sight, Murphy rounded on Raven.    
  


“I thought you said A.L.I.E. was down.” He roared. 

“She is.” Raven heaved out over her shallow breaths. “It's probably automated.”

The sound of Nyko calling out to Luna as she attempted to run away from the group was heard louder than the shots that continued to rain from the sky. He could do nothing more than watch as the healer ran out to protect the other Nightblood that was once again proving how much of a coward she was. Abby screamed out for Nyko as his body was struck by the drone’s bullets, Jackson holding her back as she attempted to run after Nyko, to save their friend. 

Miller called for Luna to take cover as he and the other guards attempted to shoot down the drone. Luna cried as she held up the dead body of their healer, he gritted his teeth, his desire to run after them warring with his knowledge of what would happen if he did. When the drone was finally out of the sky Murphy’s nervous frustration filled his voice as he lashed out at Miller. “Well, that took you 10 shots. A.L.I.E.'s got dozens of drones. Who do you think is gonna run out of bullets first, huh?”

“Could we talk about why they're still in the sky?” Miller argued back.

Abby’s head was frantic as her wild eyes searched for the wild haired woman. “No. Where the hell's Luna?”

“Here's the deal.” Miller’s head turned, assessing and he couldn’t help but be impressed by the other boy. “ If we don't find Luna, then everybody we know is gonna die in a wave of fire, so we split up. Murphy, Emori, Abby, go west. Wilson, Taggart. You got east. Jackson, Bellamy and I take north, Raven” he trailed off with an uncomfortable air. 

Raven sighed. “I like the beach.”

Miller nodded offering her conciliatory eyes. “Stay under the trees, you're safe here. The rest of you do the same. We check in every 10.”

“It's still active.” Raven pointed out the drone as it seemed to try and right itself.

“One problem at a time, Raven.” Miller sighed, adjusting his gun over his shoulder and turning north. “Let's move out.”

\------------

Clarke sighed as she reached for the handle of her door, her energy drained, the stress of Jasper’s scare still weighed heavily on her mind. She opened the door only to be covered by fire-suppression foam. She stood frozen for a moment, before she wiped her face off and turned annoyed eyes on the two boys in front of her. “Really?”

“I found your list.” Jasper taunted, waving the list in front of her. “I guess we know who really matters to you.”

“Jasper” Her voice stuttered over his name as she moved forward to grab the list from his hand. 

Jasper’s angry eyes glared at her. “You're not God, Clarke. You don't get to decide who lives or dies.”

“The list is a backup.” She tried to explain as her fear ran rampant through her body. “We have a-”

Jasper cut her off as he moved towards the intercom. “Well, I guess you don't mind if I tell everyone, then, right?”

“Jasper, no.” Monty cried, reaching for the list to stop Jasper, as she begged him to stop. 

Jasper danced away from her Monty’s reaching hands. “People have a right to know that they're working for nothing.”

The sound of the door opening and guards entering froze all of them in their place. Sgt. Miller’s voice floated across the room and she flinched at his questions. “Is there a fire? Everything all right?”

“Not for you.” Jasper announced. “You're not on the list.”

“What list?” Sgt. Miller asked confused, his eyes dancing between the three of them. 

She watched in fear as Jasper shoved the still frozen Monty before rushing the intercom. “Attention, Arcadia. I have an announcement that could affect everyone.”

She rushed forward and shoved him, ripping the intercom from his hand. She winced as he hit the ground harder than she intended. Monty bent to him, wary eyes turning towards her as he asked Jasper if he was okay. She closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to calm her trembling body. “He broke into the Chancellor's office. Lock him up. I'm acting on the authority of Chancellor Kane. Take him into custody.” She intoned with as little emotion as she could. 

“Get him out of here.” David said, the other guards moving forward to pick up the prone man who was still clutching his shoulder. 

“Monty, it -” She tried but no words came to her. 

“Don't. Just,” She watched his shoulders heave as he shook his head. “don't.”

He walked out the door and she slumped down to her knees, folding over herself, tears running down her face as her arms wrapped around her stomach. She pressed her forehead to the ground as her shoulders heaved. She stayed unmoving for hours as she tried to collect herself enough to get on with the day. Night had fallen before she was able to bring herself to uncurl and clean herself off. Instead of going to the mess hall for food after she showered she moved to her bed, arm curling around the pillow that Bellamy had slept on the night before, burying her face into it. She breathed in the scent of the man she loved as tears slipped down her cheeks again, crying herself into a fitful sleep. 

The next morning Clarke made a beeline for Monty as soon as she entered the mess hall in the morning. He looked up, irritated when she called out his name. He cut her off before she could say anything else. “Jasper's fine, in case you cared.”

“I do care.” She promised, laying a hand on his arm to keep him from walking away. “Can we talk in private, please? 

When he nodded she pulled him away from the large room into a conference room off the side. “It wasn't easy making that list. I only had so many slots for engineers. You're an apprentice. Jaha's more knowledgeable about the ship. He's more experienced, and Raven -”

“That's what you think this is about?” he cut her off, his expression partly confused and partly irritated. “Clarke, I get why you didn't put me on the list. I may have even agreed with it. It's just, who are you? When did you become this person?”

She looked down, unable to meet his eyes, “I haven't become anyone.” She mumbled. “I’m only doing what I have to do to keep as many of us alive as I can, just like I always have.”

“The Clarke I know wouldn't be arresting her friends.” He shook his head, disappointed. “That's just an excuse. You're the one saying, you live and Harper dies. You're the one arresting Jasper. You're the one going too far and using the same old justification, it's all for my people.”

“It is.” She promised. “You know that we are working on other options. You know,” she paused to gather her breath. “everything.”

Monty nodded. “I know you think people will freak out, but if you just tell everyone the truth, maybe they'll surprise you.”

“Monty,” She paused. “it's so risky. What if we did and they stopped working and then we can’t figure out the nightblood solution. Or what if we do, but can’t produce enough quickly enough and the ships are not done and Mount Weather isn’t fixed. It’s just too risky.”

“Jasper was right. You're not God.” He moved over to the intercom and she was helpless to stop him. She knew she could wrestle the mic from him but she was just so tired. “I have an announcement to make. Clarke Griffin has been lying to you.”

“Monty,” she pleaded with him when he paused for breath. “If you do this, you might be killing us all.”

Monty looked back at her conflicted. “Arcadia will only save 100 people and Mount Weather 2000. We only get 161 spots since we agree to share with the grounders. Who thinks they made the list?”

“Please.” she begged, tears falling down her eyes. 

“Abby Griffin, Eric Jackson, Thelonious Jaha, Raven Reyes," He looked at her sorry as he continued to read out the names as if just now, he was realizing what the implications of his actions were. She watched him as he continued to read the names with lessening intensity as the rise in voices of their people finally started to echo down the hallway to their ears. His eyes widening at the words that were heard, yet he didn’t stop. “Jim Bruder, Heather David, Grazia Watson, Danny Vertue, Sarah Soderquist, Susan Crawford, Shelley Skerritt"

\------------

Bellamy followed the two men north, but he knew this was not the way that Luna would go. Luna was many things but unpredictable was not one of them. They climbed over trees and roots that tried to trip them up, Miller moving with the ease of many of his finest warriors. 

He admired the quiet man, who kept a level head and was able to think through situations on the fly without getting visibly rattled. He’d adapted well to the hard reality of the ground. Jackson tripped over another root and he watched Miller’s eyes dart back to the doctor. “Jackson, you okay?” the voice of a leader, Bellamy mused as he continued to watch the two. 

“I’m okay.” Jackson confirmed. Bellamy watched as the doctor’s eyes roved over the soldier’s back, a small blush reaching his cheeks. 

Miller nodded and continued forward. “Come on. Bellamy, please keep up, Clarke will kill me if anything happens to you.” A small smile pulled up the corners of Miller’s mouth at his own joke. 

Bellamy picked up his pace, pointing out what he had been musing on earlier. “You know, Luna won’t be this way. She came from water, she will want to return to the familiar.” 

“I figured as much.” Miller offered. “But I thought this would be the more dangerous of the routes and I couldn’t risk the others.”

A newfound appreciation built up in his chest. “It’s not easy leading your own team is it?” 

Miller’s answering smile and mischievous eyes was the only answer he got as the man readjusted his gun and moved forward again. 

\------------

“I didn't survive the Ice Nation just to die because you think I'm not good enough.” Riley spit at her angrily as he chased her down the hall, his hands shoving her shoulder.

Clarke sighed after she caught herself on the wall she was pushed into, she turned to face him. “Riley, you're smart, but you were training to be a guard on the Ark. We only need so many soldiers.”

“You're telling me that Darcy is more qualified than me? She's a trainee, too, and I'm a hell of a lot better shot, no offense.” He argued, towering over her.

Clarke nodded with a wince. “I know this is hard to take in, but to ensure the survival of the human race, the list had to be weighted towards young women who can have children.”

She watched the crowd that started to form. “Wait. What? It's because she can have kids? How's that fair?” Another person called out, angrily. 

“It's not fair.” She agreed, her hands starting to tremble at her sides. “It's smart.” 

“Yeah? What about Harper?” One of the original 100 cried out.

Clarke tilted her head up before returning her gaze to the crowd. “There's a chance she could be a drain on medical resources.”

“Well, I'm not sick.” Harper argued.

Clarke, nodded in agreement that she was sick, at least, “Not yet.”

Monty turned to Harper. “Your dad.” He looked up at Clarke, upon the revelation. “You went into her medical records?”

“You're condemning me for an illness that I might have someday?” Argued, her normal soft face, pinched in anger. 

“I had to consider all variables.” She moved her now obviously trembling hands behind her back when she noticed Monty’s eyes staring at them, a look of remorse on his face. 

Harper scoffed. “That's rich for a person who put herself on the list and Bellamy Blake? Come on.” Clarked opened her mouth to defend the decision, to explain the need for him to be on their list because if they lost the commander then the alliance would break and they needed to protect as many people as they could.

Before she could get the words out of her mouth, Jaha’s strong voice cut over the mumbling crowd. “Of course Clarke and Bellamy should be included. Strong leadership is essential for survival. All right. You don't like the list. Consider it shredded. Now, we can keep fighting each other and die, or we can work together and give everyone a shot at survival, your choice.”

“Meaning what?” Someone asked. 

“We hold a lottery, randomly choose the 161 people to survive, but you have to work for it every day. You don't show up for your assignments, you can't be in the lottery, and when the time comes, we'll collect the names, and we draw. Good?” He asked them, when they started to nod, he asked again. “Good?” more nodding from the crowd and he put on his winningest smile. “Then it's settled. Now, that radiation shield is ready. Who's gonna help me put it in place? Let's get it done.”

“Hey, wait.” She called out to him, her arm gripping his elbow. “What are you doing?”

“Helping.” He placed his free hand over the one that clutched his elbow. “I'm not trying to undermine you, Clarke.”

“You have to know that a random lottery is risky. We could end up with no doctors, no engineers.” She told him.   
  


Jaha nodded but a sly smile graced his face. “You saw that we have to give them something to fight for. We can't tell people they have no value.”

“That's not what I said.” She argued, pulling her hand out from under his. 

“That's what they heard. The list was pragmatic, but the people need to feel like they have a say in their fate.” He said. 

“I hope you're right.” She said, spinning on her heel to return to her room. 

But not before she heard Jaha’s words. “Your dad knew that and I only wish I had listened to him back then.” She clenched her eyes shut for a moment before picking up her speed to get away from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think?


	26. On The Highway to Hell, I Prayed For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You thought that I was a coward, that I would run away just as I did from the conclave.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “You always were Titus’ favorite.”
> 
> “Not always.” he muttered petulantly. “He wanted me to kill Wanheda, I was very plainly not his favorite when I married her instead.” 
> 
> He looked over at her a moment before they both barked out a laugh. A grin still lingering as she continued to chuckle, “to be a fly on the wall in those conversations, of which I imagine were many.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No excuses this time, I was just being lazy 🤷🏻♀️ Sorry guys. 
> 
> But fun news I’m getting goats... so chapters might take a little bit longer to get out cuz, you know, cute new babies are always distracting.

Miller held the radio up to his mouth as he had done three times already on the fruitless trek they’d been on. “Raven, report. Are you ok?”

“All good here. Worry about your damn self.” Raven’s snarky voice came across the radio. They kept walking for a few moments before Raven’s voice came back across the radio. “Luna's here. She's heading for the boat.”

“Copy that, Raven. Do whatever you can to stop her. We're on our way.” Miller said before tucking the radio onto his belt. “Alright guys, you heard her. We have to get back to the beach. Let’s go.”

He turned and set a brisk pace back the way they’d come. They had barely made it half way back through the forest before the beat of another drone’s engine was audible over the sound of the bugs in the forest. They scrambled for cover as shots started to rain down on them again. “Move! Move!” Miller shouted, grabbing his arm and hauling him behind a fallen tree. 

Jackson yelped as he made the final turn around the tree, his hand coming up to cover the blood leaking down his arm. Miller’s gun rang out in rhythmic intervals. 

“Jackson, are you okay?” Bellamy asked as he gently pried Jackson’s fingers of his wound. “Let me see it.” 

“I’m okay, Bellamy.” Jackson promised through gritted teeth. “Put pressure on it.”

Bellamy nodded as he looked over the wound. The bullet only grazed his arm, he ripped off some cloth from his shirt before tying it around the wound. He ficked his eyes over to meet Miller’s, who was watching them in between volleys of bullets.

“Raven, we can't get to the beach. Taking fire in the north woods. Jackson's hit. I'm low on ammo.” Miller called over the radio. 

“What do you mean, Jackson's hit? Is he okay?” Abby’s return call was slightly frantic. 

“I think so. He took one in the arm, and we're pinned down.” Miller called back. Abby promised they were coming to get them as Miller met Bellamy’s eyes and he shook his head. They would be okay. Miller seemed to understand because he was quick to respond to Abby. “Luna's the priority!”

A second drone showed up and suddenly they were in a more precarious position. He knew they needed to do something about the drones before one of them ended up dead. “We are still taking fire.” Miller called out on the radio, his voice finally sounded slightly flustered and his face looked tense. 

“We're almost there.” Came Abby’s almost immediate reply.

Jackson slumped over panting, Miller’s worried eyes met Bellamy’s before Miller moved closer to crouch over Jackson with him. “Jackson, you are okay. Abby is almost here.” He pulled the radio back up to his lips. “We need you, Abby.”

“It’s all right.” Abby called back. “We can see you.”

Bellamy whipped his head around looking for his mother-in-law. When he finally spotted her she was running through the forest. Straight towards them. Jackson screamed for her to run over his pained panting. Bellamy watched, helpless as the drones started shooting at Abby, his heart in his throat. “Run! Abby, Run!” The words were wrenched from his throat as she started slowing down. Her wide eyes met his in a panic just before the drones stopped shooting and fell out of the sky. 

Abby ran straight into his arms, he steadied her after her frantic flight. She looked around confused as Murphy and Emori emerged from the trees where Abby must have come from. Abby motioned for them to join them as she pulled her radio upto her lips. “The drones just fell out of the sky. What happened?”

“I happened.” Raven’s smug voice came across the radio and he couldn’t help but be amazed at her resourcefulness, once again impressed by the people who’d made his life hell when he was pitted against them. “Now get your asses back to the boat. Luna's here. Over.” 

\------------ 

Clarke walked sedately towards lock-up, her eyes tracing the patterns on the floor in front of her as guilt rolled through her stomach. The sound of the doors unlocking in front of her tore her eyes away from the floor, forcing her to look at the too smug smile on Jasper Jordan’s antagonistic face. “I shouldn't have locked you up. I thought it was the only choice I had.” She said as she moved further into the room. 

“It was the only choice you gave yourself.” He spat at her, hurling the words in the most careless of ways. “If you think you have the best idea, you have to convince people, not lie to them or lock them up.”

She sighed, nodding to the guard to unlock the cuffs on his wrists. “That doesn't matter now. Monty read the list over the radio. Everyone knows everything.”

“What a shame. I thought you were giving Jaha a run for his money there, Jaha lite.” Jasper rubbed at his wrist as the sardonic words fell off his tongue.

She dropped her eyes back to the floor, shoulders slumping forwards. “You know, he used to be everything that I hated. Maybe he was keeping us together.”

“When Jaha's looking reasonable, it's time to reassess.” Jasper’s hand clasped her shoulders and for a moment she could forget that everyone hated her and that this was just a friend comforting another friend. 

She looked up into his face, noting that though his hands were soft on her shoulder his face was closed off to her. “You can go.” She nodded to the exit in front of them. 

“You know,” He paused as he neared the exit, turning back to her with outstretched hands. “someday when all this is over, you're gonna realize that foam bit was funny.”

She sat down on the chair in the room a scoffing laugh bubbling out of her throat before turning into a soft sob that she pressed into the cloth of her jacket. Sgt. Miller’s footsteps entered the room as she turned her wet eyes up to him. He knelt down near her, one hand grasping her shoulder and pulling her forward into his embrace. His other and coming up to cradle the back of her head. “You are doing your best, Clarke. I know your dad would be proud of you, no matter what anyone else has said. This is a tough situation and everyone has their own agendas.”

She nodded into the collar of his guard uniform, tears still leaking from her eyes as he comforted her. If she pressed her eyes closed tight enough she could almost feel her father’s embrace in Sgt. Miller’s warm arms. He pulled away from her and brushed the tears from her face. “Now, go wash your face and don’t let them see this get to you. I know you will find a way out of this, because if you’re fighting for us there is no doubt in my mind that we will be saved. Same way you saved my son when everyone else told you it was a lost cause and to give up hope. What you did then, the strength you had, it’s still there.” He pressed a fatherly kiss to her forehead. “Even if you don’t see it anymore, I know it’s there and I know you didn’t want to make that list, Nate told me.”

She looked into his kind eyes, pleading with him for what she was unsure but she needed something. “He wasn’t supposed to.” She whispered.

“I know but he was just trying to look out for you, he wanted you to have someone here on your side. And Clarke?” he paused, studying her, his hand sweeping her hair out of her face. “We will always be on your side, Nate and myself.” 

Fresh tears ran down her face as she surged forward to wrap him back in a hug. “Thank you.”

His arms came back up around her. “There is no need to thank us.” He held her tightly and rocked her back and forth slowly while she tried to calm herself down. 

\------------ 

Bellamy watched as Miller’s eyes swept wide, his gun clutched tightly in his hands. “Are we getting close, Dr. Griffin?”

“It's just through there.” She pointed out some stone outcropping as she looked up from the map on her tablet. 

A large build rose up in front of them, the white of the stone on the outside a faded, dingy grey. They continued to walk towards it before veering off to the side, near what looked like a stone turret in red brick. The thick metal of the doors sealed tight. “Uh, small question. A.L.I.E. had a security system to protect this thing, right? Any idea what she was protecting it from?” Murphy asked looking between everyone else. 

“Let's hope we don't find out.” Abby said as she punched in the code to the doors, as they walked through she turned to Raven. “Just in case, Raven, get the drones back into the sky.”

He followed the crowd down the stairs, lights flashing on when the group had descended about halfway. The computerized voice in toning “Auxiliary power initiated.”

Raven whistled through her teeth. “Not bad, Becca.”

Hours later he found himself sitting down near Luna, he could feel her eyes darting over to him every so often, watching him watch her rub at the hip where the healers had taken samples from her. He leaned his head back against the soft plush of the couch, his head oddly quiet, ever since they defeated A.L.I.E.. He tried to drop down into his seat at the commanders table but was easily distracted by the murmuring of Skaikru as they moved systematically through the bunker. 

  
Raven and Jackson were at the computer, Raven dictating orders to it. “Computer, show me the radiation detection software available for the drone fleet in VHDL.”

“God, Becca was good.” Jackson praised as he swiped through the material on the screen in front of him. “Nightblood was designed to help the human body not reject the AI and protect it against radiation emitted from the device. That's why it saved Luna.”

Abby nodded to him as she flipped through the notebook in her hand. “That's why it'll save us all. If we can figure out how she made these cells combine.Help me re-run the molecular valence test on sample 7.”

Bellamy rubbed at his own aching body as he watched Abby and Jackson pour over the material in front of them. His eyes drifting closed every few minutes as he fought the fatigue. His mother-in-law’s confused tone brought him back to wakefulness as she tossed the tablet on the table. “I don't understand. The Nightblood protein chains are broken. How does she get them to bind to the blood cells?”

“I thought you hated molecular biology.” Jackson laughed at Abby, pulling the tablet out from under her hands.

His attention was pulled away from the healers to listen as a high pitched sound rang out from the computer by Raven who suddenly tensed up. He sat forward watching her as her muscles seized up before she tipped over and fell to the ground and she started to shake. He called out to Abby pointing over the railing to Raven. 

He felt helpless as his sore body moved slowly down the steps, Abby and Jackson working frantically on the snarky brunette that his wife loved, despite his reservations. The sound of her choking stopped just as he reached the last step and Abby’s fingers brushed Raven’s hair out of her face. The tenderness on Abby’s face, an emotion he’d yet to see directed at her daughter, reminded him painfully of how his mother looked at his sister. 

\------------ 

Clarke walked into the supply room on the Ark, hands trembling at her side as she approached Monty and Niylah who were discussing the rations. Monty was still shooting her guilty looks every time he caught sight of her, his watchful eyes narrowed in on her stress response. 

She wiped her hands on her pants before stuffing them into the pockets of her jacket. “Any word from Jaha? Did they find Well's unit?”

“Yeah. They're back, and we forgot to tell you.” Monty’s attempt at a teasing tone fell flat with his weary eyes pinched with guilt. 

Niylah nodded to her as she greeted her. “Hello, my friend.”

“Hi.” She pulled a tense smile up on her face. “How light were we?”

“Always so serious.” Niylah softly shoulder bumped her pulling a genuine smile on Clarke’s face. “Better. Don't worry. The earth will be more generous next time. See you then.”

Clarke watched the blonde grounder turn and begin walking away before Harper rushed in, nearly knocking Niylah over. “Clarke!” Harper cried out, her tone frantic. 

Clarke started to respond, to ask what was going on, when a long haired grounder with unfamiliar tattoo carried in her bloodied sister-in-law. “Octavia?”

“She just stopped breathing.” Harper cried as she helped Clarke clear the table in the center of the room. 

Clarke nodded with a steadying inhale before she started moving “Ok. Get her on the table now.”

“There's a stab wound in her belly.” Harper said as she hovered uselessly. “She's soaked in blood.”

Clarke pressed her fingers to Octavia’s pulse point in her neck.“Okay. First things first,” Clarke began to do compressions on the too still chest of her friend. “1, 2, 3, 4.” She turned to the unfamiliar face “Who are you? How did this happen to her?

“Ilian kom Trishanakru.” The young man’s voice was quiet though his eyes were searching. “I was on my way home from Polis when I found her.”

Octavia coughed as her breathing picked up. “Okay. Get her to medical now. Getting her here saved her life. Thank you.” Clarke shot the young man a thankful glance before turning back to the bloodied girl who was flailing on the table. “Hey, hey, hey, hey, shh, it's okay. It's okay. You're okay. Octavia, you've lost a lot of blood, but you're here now. I'm gonna help you.”

Octavia pained eyes wandered around the room aimlessly. “Azgeda's coming.” spilled from the blood stained lips when she finally looked at Clarke. She found herself unable to answer Monty when he queried her about what Octavia was talking about. Octavia’s hand clutched at hers when she ground out her next words. “Azgeda is coming. Army marching.”

“Octavia, hey, hey, hey, stay with me.” Clarke begged when her eyes fell shut, not able to stay open any longer. 

“War is here.” Octavia gasped before her chest fell silent again. 

Clarke turned to the others in the room who were just standing around. The shout she threw at them jump started them into feverish action. “Take her. Go!”

Monty jumped up on the table with Octavia, his hands replacing Clarke’s as he took over the compressions. She chased after the rolling table as they moved quickly towards medical. When they finally made it to the room Clarke turned towards an aide that had been sitting quietly in the corner. “Start an I.V., blood and fluids, and,” her eyes darted around the room as she tried to pull her unrailed thought train back on track. “and get a suture kit ready.” She pulled Monty off of Octavia who had only just started breathing on her own again. “Hey, I have to do this, but get Kane on the radio. Find out exactly what's going on.”

“On it.” Monty called back as he ran out of the room. 

Clarke turned to the still frantic blonde who’d entered with the bloodied girl. “Harper, hey, look at me. Convene the guard. Miller's dad is ranking officer. If Azgeda is coming, we need to plan our defense, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can.”

“Okay.” Harper gave a sharp nod before exiting. 

“Niylah, I could use the help.” She called out to her friend who stood off to the side and for the next several hours the two of them stitched up the front and back of their fallen friend. The aide continued to bring more blood - even after she told Clarke they were over their allotment - at Clarke’s fiery insistence. 

\------------ 

He watched the girl who remained unconscious for the better half of two hours as she slowly dragged herself to wakefulness. Abby still hovering worriedly over Raven, her hand stroking the dark hair ever so gently. “Raven” Abby called as her eyelids finally fluttered open. 

Jackson and Abby helped the young girl sit up as he watched her wide eyed fascination at some unseen thing. “Abby, oh, something happened.” She said almost reverently. 

“Raven, you had a seizure. We need to do a brain scan.” Abby said gently, her hands still fluttering over the girl. 

“Seizure?” Raven asked, confused.

Abby hummed her confirmation. Raven looked over to her nonplussed, before shaking her head. “No. No. That” Raven moved to stand up before her legs gave way underneath her. Bellamy’s breath caught in his throat as he watched the girl tremble in Abby’s steady arms. “It was like my brain was operating with such” She paused to gather her thoughts, her dark eyes turning towards his. “with such intensity. It was so real, like I was space-walking again, zero-g with no suit. I'm not crazy.”

“No.” Abby agreed, though her skeptical eyes turned towards him as well. “No one thinks you are.”

“Weightlessness.” Raven chewed on the word before her eyes lit up as she turned back to Abby. “Abby, what happened when you tried to get the Nightblood protein to bond with their DNA?”

“The structure of the RNA fell apart. Why?”

Jackson looked over at Abby with hesitance written on his face. “Abby, she just had a seizure.”

Raven moved towards the computer chair she’d been sitting in when she had the seizure. “Because I think I know why Becca couldn't make it work in this lab. Computer, show me prototype Nightblood RNA binding in a zero-g environment.”

He moved towards the group as Raven’s fingers flew over the keyboards. “It would work.” Abby agreed after careful contemplation. 

The computer announced that whatever Raven had been working on was completed. The group looked up at the screen to see two twirling ribbons connected by horizontal ribbons. Jackson looked amazed when Bellamy’s eyes darted down at the sound of his voice. “Your hallucination told you this?”

“Yes. When I imagined I was weightless, my neurons must have been firing faster than my conscious mind could process.” Raven sat back, her arms crossed over her chest, a smug look upon her countenance. 

“Communicating through your subconscious.” Jackson sat at the empty chair next to Raven, disbelief written on his face.

Raven nodded. “Exactly.” 

Abby leaned down on the desk in front of the screen, chewing on her lip. “How do we simulate zero gravity in a laboratory environment?”

“We can't.” Jackson told her, he sounded resigned. “It's impossible.”

“It's impossible on earth. A.L.I.E. said that Becca went to space looking for a more secure environment to get away from her, but I don't think that was the reason at all. I think she went to space to make Nightblood.” Raven moved forward to lean next to Abby. 

Bellamy took Raven’s vacated chair but the pressure at the back of his mind felt like the familiar weight of a commander trying to make themselves known. Before he could ask anything either outloud or to the presence at the back of his mind, Abby turned towards Raven, tucking a lock of unruly hair behind Raven’s ear. “Raven, how does that help us? It's not as though we can go back into space.”

“Wanna bet? Computer, open interior blast and launch doors.” Raven looked back as the doors slipped open revealing a small dropship, looking in much better condition than the ones they had arrived in. “Who wants to go for a ride?”

“Wait.” Bellamy finally edged in, his hands pointing to the still rotating picture of ribbons on the screen. “What is that?”

Abby met his dark eyes again. “Nightblood.”

\------------ 

Clarke scrubbed at the blood under her nails as she walked towards the war room. She was surprised when she only found Sgt. Miller and Harper. Her eyes wandering around the room, looking for the others she had expected. 

Harper's voice turned her from her perusal of the room. “Hey, how is she?”

“Strong.” She said, turning back to the sound of others in the hallway she’d just moved through. 

Riley and Monty walked in, the laughter dying on Monty’s lips as his eyes met hers. They moved quickly to take their seats. Sgt. Miller pulled up the map of their compound as he moved to get everyone’s attention on him. “Listen. All we have to do is spread it in front of the outer wall. Then when the army gets close-”

“We light them up.” Riley jumped in when Sgt. Miller trailed off. 

“That's right.” He nodded to the young man. 

Monty raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You want to light a fire outside the ship we just spent the last couple months getting ready?”

“That's not happening.” Clarke shook her head, heaving out a breath before she turned to Monty. “Any word from Kane?”

“No, but Jaha found the cargo truck 12 hours out, no sign of Wells or Stephens.” Monty’s deep brown eyes studied her as she sat back in her chair, her hand rubbing at the twinge of pain in her chest. 

“I have to speak to Roan. Something happened, some sort of misunderstanding.” She shook her head again, her hand moving from her chest to scrub at her face. Her exhaustion caused her hand to shake as it was moved away from her face. 

Harper eyed her, “Clarke, if he wanted to talk, he wouldn't be coming with his army.”

“Right, but there's only one way to get here from Azgeda.” She stood up from her chair. “I'll ride out and meet him.”

“No,” Sgt. Miller grabbed her wrist as she started to move towards the door. “Absolutely not.”

Monty’s eyes were studying the map behind them on the wall, just as intently has he had been studying Clarke, previously. “Actually, that might work.”

“Monty, what are you talking about?” Harper asked, her eyes jumping between her boyfriend and Clarke. 

“The Ice Nation thinks they have the element of surprise, but, thanks to Octavia, we do.” Monty finally turned back to the group at the table. “Pike showed us how valuable that can be.”

“You're citing Pike?” disgust rolled off Harper’s tongue. 

Monty nodded. “As awful as that sounds, yes.”

It took hours for them to get situated, but when Roan rode up next to his mother’s lap dog of a spy she was already standing in the valley, her arms raised with open hands. “We need to talk.” She called out to him, her eyes trained on Wells. The bruise he had darkened the skin over his eye. 

“Little late for that.” His usually warm, smug voice was cold and calculating. The commands given to his archers in Trigedasleng sent shivers down her spine as she watched them draw their weapons back. The sight of the red lasers on Roan’s chest and Echo’s wary voice soothed her nerves. Roan raised an eyebrow at her as he raised his hand to caution his own warriors. Two of his guards pushed Wells and Stephens to their knees in the space between her and them at Roan’s request. “Your move, Wanheda.

“Ten minutes, that's all I ask.” She said, her hands starting to tremble from being held aloft. 

Though she couldn’t hear Echo’s words her voice spit them at Roan who whispered back just as severely as she had sounded when he dismounted from his horse. He gestured for Clarke to proceed as he moved towards her. Her eyes shot to Wells before she turned on her heel and moved quickly towards the cave system off to the side. 

They had barely entered the cave mouth when Roan grabbed her wrist and wrenched her around to face him. A snarl carved on his face. “I suppose you think you've got us right where you want us.”

“Roan, we're allies. What are we doing?” She tossed a hand out towards their people still in the valley. 

“We had a deal. You broke it.” He shouldered in closer to her, forcing her to look up into his towering face.

“I broke it?” She laughed scornfully. “You nearly killed Octavia. You have two of our people hostage. You marched an army here to do what, exactly? Heda will be pissed. Our people agreed to a course of action. Why would you kill us when you know we're all gonna die soon, anyway?”

“We're not here to kill you, Clarke. We're here to take your ship, a ship you restored to save your people, not mine.” He retreated from her space to lean against the lip of the cave. 

Clarke’s words were hissed out as she stalked towards him. “That ship is a backup plan, same as Mount Weather.” 

“Then you won't mind if we take it.” He said casually. 

“It'll hold 100 people tops and the Mountain only 2,000.” She flapped her arms against her sides in frustration. “But you already know all that. I know Bellamy told your ambassador. Every kru gets 161 spots. What are you trying to do here?”

“Trying to save my people.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his smug smile finally back in place. “We overheard what you told your people and it sounded as if you weren’t planning on honoring our deal. So, were you lying to your people or were you lying to us.”

“Before you took our people hostage, did they tell you about the Nightblood solution?” She asked.

He pushed off the wall, once again moving into her space. “Wells tried but people trying to save their own skin will say anything.”

“Roan, this isn't a conspiracy.” She sighed, letting her legs give out underneath her, she flopped down to the ground. “I am doing everything I can to save all of us.”

“No, you're not.” He crouched down in front of her, his face surprisingly soft. “You tell yourself you have, too. The great Wanheda, the Commander of Death who says she wants to save everyone yet builds a ship for herself, for her people.” 

She turned her eyes up from where they traced the ground to stare into his eyes. “The Nightblood solution will save everyone.”

“I don't believe in miracles.” He sat himself down next to her on the dirt floor.

“It doesn't have to be like this.” She pleaded, her eyes begging him. 

“Yes, it does.” He shrugged, turning away from her. “The way I see it, you have two choices: tell your shooters to stand down, give us your ship, and use whatever time we have left to find your Nightblood solution, or tell them to open fire.”

Clarke sighed as she slumped down onto her hands. “We have more bullets than you have men. You'll lose.”

“Maybe. We'll both take losses, Wells among them.” He mimicked her posture, his head tilted to look at her. 

“You think you can shake my resolve?” She bit out. 

He laughed, his shoulder bumping hers. “Ain't we a pair? Fight it is, then.”

“Bellamy will never let this stand. If anything happens to me and my people today all of the coalition will turn against Azgeda. You will be wiped off the face of the earth and I don’t want to see that happen, Roan. Stand down and your people will still get their 161 spots. We will both walk away from this valley alive and our people will still get the chance to live.” 

\------------ 

Bellamy watched Raven’s almost frantic back and forth as she buzzed around, her fingers flying over the keys of the keyboard. Abby and Jackson were looking worriedly between the brunette and the screen clutched tightly in Abby’s hands. 

“There's no fuel in the tank, but we have plenty of hydrazine back in Arcadia.” Raven limped back to Abby. “We can have it here in a day.”

Abby set down the tablet, her hands reaching out to steady Raven as she tried to breeze past her. “Okay, Raven. I need you to slow down.”

“Ha! Slow down? You're kidding me, right? Abby, we have a rocket. We have to go to space and make Nightblood. It's a” Raven paused to press her fingers against her temple. “It's a two-seater, by the way. I drive. You cook. Sound like a plan?”

Abby called out Raven’s name as she tried to get her to focus back on her. Raven snapped a quick “what?” over her shoulder as she tried to move away from the restraining fingers. Bellamy shook his head at her outrageous behaviour.

“Listen to me.” Abby shook Raven slightly. “Heightened mental ability, hallucinations, euphoria, headaches. It's all connected. A.L.I.E. warned you that the EMP would cause brain damage.”

Raven continued to move frantically about the room, her chattering was starting to grate on his nerves as the two healers just continued to watch her as they shared worried looks. “Jasper was right. That's why no one else got an upgrade.”

“What are you talking about?” He finally spoke up to ask, knowing that the others were only going to continue to watch.

Raven turned to him and quirked an eyebrow. “For everyone else, you pulled the master kill switch.” She watched him a moment as if trying to decide how to explain something to him before shrugging her shoulders and pressing on. “it's like shutting down a program the right way. When the EMP fried my chip, it was more like cutting the power from the OS while the ram was still full.”

He tried to ask her what she meant but Abby cut him off, “Go on.”

He shot Abby an annoyed look, which she ignored in favor of listening to Raven. “Part of A.L.I.E.'s code is still in my head. That's why I know things I was never taught.”

“Becca's mind was in that code. That's why you knew where the rocket was.” Abby sounded impressed and he got the distinct impression that Becca was just as impressed with Raven as his mother-in-law. “Raven, your brain scan showed evidence of a stroke. I'm afraid that if you keep pushing like this, it's just gonna make things worse.”

Raven brushed it off with a jaunty wave. “I've been through worse, Doc.”

Bellamy leaned back in his chair, not for the first time wishing that Clarke had accompanied him. He turned his head to look up, only to see Luna leaning on the railings above them. He moved forward, his hands bracing himself on his knees as he rose. The sound of the healers and Raven’s continued conversation drowning out as he ascended the stairs. 

“Heda,” Luna nodded to him as he moved over to where she leaned on the railing. 

“Luna.” He greeted back as he leaned down next to her. “You did a brave thing.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “You sound surprised.”

He couldn’t quite meet her eyes as he nodded. “I thought -” He paused to gather his breath and his thoughts.

“You thought that I was a coward, that I would run away just as I did from the conclave.” She arched an eyebrow at him. “You always were Titus’ favorite.”

“Not always.” he muttered petulantly. “He wanted me to kill Wanheda, I was very plainly not his favorite when I married her instead.” 

He looked over at her a moment before they both barked out a laugh. A grin still lingering as she continued to chuckle, “to be a fly on the wall in those conversations, of which I imagine were many.”

He laughed and nodded. “I’m sorry for the way I thought of you, for listening to him instead of remembering what it was like before the conclave was called.” His eyes met her soft ones. “And I suppose I should say thank you. If you hadn't left, I might not be here to know Wanheda and that would have been a terrible fate.”

“You love her.” her eyebrows shot up her forehead to hide in her messy hair. 

“I do.” 

“I’m glad, Bellamy. We all deserve some good in our lives.” She laid her hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently before moving to sit back on the couch, her eyes closing shortly thereafter.

\------------ 

Clarke and Roan walked back out to their people, his spy looking suspiciously at her as she greeted him. He waved her forward movement off, motioning for his guards to let both of their prisoners go. 

Clarke hugged Wells when he was freed. “Wells, are you okay?”

“No one died today.” Wells responded coolly, his eyes shooting over to Echo.

Roan’s smug smile pulled across his face as he lifted an eyebrow to his second. “So what did we miss?”   
  


“Nothing, Sire.” She said, bowing her head.

Wells' eyes danced between her and the Azgedan king. “So I take it we're not at war?”

“Not today.” Roan confirmed as he mounted his horse. He nodded to her as he dug his heels into the horse below him, turning his army around to follow him away from the Skaikru.

They had made it less than an hour into their trek back to camp before Wells' voice finally cut through the air. “The ship? The mountain?”

“Nothing changes, we will share. I promised to keep this quiet from Bellamy for now, if only to allow him a chance to explain to Bellamy himself.” She kept her voice steadier than she felt inside, her trembling hands withdrawn into the pockets of her jacket. 

“Clarke, I-” Wells started, his voice filled with regret, before he was cut off by the sound of an explosion near Arcadia. Clarke’s eyes met Wells. “It came from Arcadia.”

They all took off at a sprint, Wells and her covering the ground as quickly as they could, the others falling behind. The sight of the fire flickering out of the top of Arcadia, stumbled her feet a moment before she was rushing headlong again. “I have to find my sister-in-law. She was in the med bay.”

Arcadian’s milled about, stunned. Some helped others out of the building as smoke poured out of the halls others were wild eyed as they gripped weapons as if expecting another attack. A guard recruit walked past her, an older man draped over his shoulder. “How did this happen?” Wells asked but she kept plowing forward. 

“O. O!” Clarke called out, frantic as her eyes searched for the beautiful brunette. She heard a familiar voice cajoling someone forward. When she turned to see the ragged face of Octavia, she pulled in a harsh breath before running to relieve Niylah of the extra weight on her sagging frame. “I got you. I got you.” She promised, hauling Octavia’s arm over her shoulder. “Let's get you out of here. I got you, okay. O.”

Clarke looked at the blonde who’d rescued her sister-in-law, her face covered in soot, mind decided she called out. “Monty, take Niylah.”

“It was Ilian.” Octavia’s voice was haggard as she coughed. “ I tried to stop him.”

Clarke met Monty’s eyes over Octavia’s head as it lolled to the side, landing softly on her shoulders. 


	27. I Kept My Faith Like That Old King James Said I’m Supposed To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She nodded. “Yes, Bellamy would be dead, but he wasn’t who I was thinking of. You were, Raven was, my mom, Kane, the Millers, the ones who had been forcibly detained and murdered for their soldiers with advanced weapons to leave their rat hole. I couldn’t let them wreak havoc on our people, not unchecked, not with Cage in charge. Wells, I did horrible, horrible things. I know that, I know that, But I would do that again and again if it meant we got to live. I knew you couldn’t, Monty couldn’t but I could. I couldn’t ask anyone but myself to make that decision.”
> 
> “The world doesn’t deserve you, Clarke.” Wells said when she paused for breath, her breath got hung up on his words, the pressure of tears gathered behind her eyes, she turned to him. “Clarke, I don’t hate you. No one hates you, but you saved us and left us all in one breath and everyone turned to me, I don’t know how to be you Clarke.”
> 
> The first tear dripped over her cheek. “I didn’t expect you to be me, no one needs a leader like me. I didn’t even want to be a leader.”

The fear and exhaustion in Clarke’s voice when she radioed him that night, had his chest clenching with worry. “Clarke, what’s wrong?” He paused for a moment, hoping that she would fill the space with her words. When her words weren’t forthcoming he sighed into the radio. “I can tell something is wrong, please, Princess. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Oh, Bell, I don’t even know where to start.” She sounded so close to tears that he wanted nothing more than to reach through the radio and pull her into his arms.

“Start at the beginning.” 

He heard the heavy sigh of her breath hitting the mic, “Jasper and Monty found the list, I had Jasper arrested, Monty read the list off to all the people. Everyone hates me even more now. I’m a monster-”

He cut her off. “You are not a monster, Princess. You are doing the best you can with the circumstances.”

“You might feel differently when you hear what happened next.” Her humorless chuckle had him shifting uncomfortably in his chair, not liking the sound of her weary voice. “Octavia showed up at camp with a stab wound in her stomach,” 

“Is she okay?” He asked when her voice trailed off. 

“Yeah, Bell, she’s okay. I stitched her back up; it took hours.” She paused again and he heard her muttering to herself before her voice rose in volume. “I promised Roan I would let him tell you what happened next, but suffice to say that I was out of camp for a few hours dealing with  _ issues.  _ There was an explosion. The guy who brought Octavia to us, blew up the main frame of the ark. It ripped a hole into the top, ruining all the work we had just finished. That’s 100 more people that will die if we can’t find a better solution, than riding out the radiation wave in a hole in the ground. 

“Everyone made it out safely, thank god, or maybe not. Maybe it would have been better for them to have died in the explosion at least we know that would have been quick. What if we can’t store enough food, or get enough people in the bunkers to run them properly and they all starve to death? What if it isn’t enough?”

His heart clenched at the sound of tears in her voice, her uncertainty overwhelming him. “Oh Princess, we shouldn’t do this apart. I’ll come back to you tomorrow.”

“No, no. Bellamy, I’ll be fine.” She hurriedly reassured him. “I’m just tired. Ignore me.”

“Never,” he swore. “I couldn’t ignore you even if I tried. If you need me there, please just say the word and I’ll come back to you as quickly as I can -”   
  


What he was going to say next was cut off as the door to the room he was in swung open and Raven stomped in. “Bellamy, when you call Clarke tell her to put a team together and bring all the hydrazine to us, we need it for night blood.” 

He lifted the radio up to his lips with a humorless voice. “Did you hear that, Clarke?”

Raven had grace enough to look ashamed, when Clarke responded affirmatively, her voice settling back into her practiced nonchalance. “Yeah, I’ll get Octavia on a transport back to Polis and I’ll personally escort the hydrazine to you. We will leave tomorrow morning and should be there by early evening. Will the boat be back at the dock on our side?”

“Yes, I’ll send Miller back with Emori to collect you.” Raven said loudly enough to be heard from across the room. 

“Anything else, Raven?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at the brunette in front of him. She shook her head before backing out of the room. “She’s gone, Clarke. Is it wrong of me to say that I’m looking forward to you being back in my arms.”

A derisive snort filled his ears before she laughed. “No. I can’t wait.”

He chuckled. “Send Indra back with Octavia. We will go back to Polis within a fortnight, I can’t stay away much longer anyway. It doesn’t sound like the Ark is viable any longer and the ambassadors need to be informed so they can adjust their numbers accordingly.”

They continued to talk through everything that he’d heard throughout the day, half of which he didn’t understand, but he dutifully recited every word until her voice was more filled with yawns than words. He heard the rustle of cloth as she adjusted herself in what he hoped was their bed to settle into sleep. “I love you, Bell. I am counting the hours until we are reunited again.”

“Me too, Princess. Sleep. Tomorrow will be here before you know it. I love you.” 

He clicked off the radio and walked back out to where he’d left the group hours before. Raven and Murphy were bickering again and everyone else seemingly scattered about the bunker. He turned back to the room as he heard Raven demanding that the simulation restart. 

\------------ 

Clarke woke up still feeling as exhausted as she had in the hours before she’d fallen into a restless sleep. She rolled over, stretching before jolting out of bed when she remembered that she had to get things in order quickly so she could start her journey to Becca’s island. 

Niylah’s eyebrows were high on her forehead when Clarke rushed into Medbay. “Don't you ever sleep? Everyone needs rest, Clarke. Even saviors.” Clarke waved her away as she continued further into the room. “There she goes.”

“I have to.” Clarke finally stopped and verbally acknowledged the blonde Grounder. “Going to the island today to take rocket fuel to my mom and Raven so they can go to space to make Nightblood. It's now officially our only hope.”

“I'm sorry I couldn't stop that boy from destroying your home.” Niylah said as she rocked back on her heels, her green eyes dropping to the floor. 

“That's not your fault. Besides, now we don't have to worry about locking people out when the death wave comes” She reached out to squeeze Niylah’s shoulder in sympathy. “I want you to go with Octavia to Polis, please, once we solve Nightblood, it'll be distributed to Arcadia and Polis first. I'd feel better knowing you were there to get it.” 

Niylah offered her a soft smile as she nodded. “Now go save us all, I’ll take care of getting Octavia back to the capital as quietly as possible.”

Clarke nodded before making a quick stop by Octavia who was still resting peacefully on the medbay cot, Indra sitting vigil over her. Clarke dropped a hand onto Indra’s muscular shoulder. “Bellamy and I will be back in Polis as soon as we can. Do not expect us to be more than a few days behind you and O.”

Indra pursed her lips but nodded, “You’d best hurry, Wanheda. Heda will be anxiously awaiting your return to his side. Your spell over him is strong. I can only pray that it is Wanheda’s will to keep our Heda breathing for all of our sakes.” 

“The commander of death will never command his be taken from this earth. Not if I can help it. You have nothing to worry about from me, Indra.” Clarke squeezed one final time before dropping her hand to her side. 

Indra nodded once again. “Then be quick, Wanheda. There is much to be done.”

Clarke nodded and turned to go check in with engineering. The sound of Monty listing the damage to the Ark met her as she entered the still smoke tinged room. “Sectors, 3, 4, and 5 sustained the worst damage. We lost the server room, all of our processors, and life support systems, and half of our living quarters. Now, backup power will keep the lights on at night in the rooms that survived, but we'll have no heat or running water. And no way to restore it or reseal the ship before the radiation gets here.”

“Is there any good news?” Wells asked. 

“Well, no one died.” Kane offered, blandly. 

She shook her head, planting her hands on the table in the middle of the room. “Forget the Ark. It was never gonna save that many anyway. We need to focus our resources on the Nightblood solution and Mount Weather. Is the fuel loaded?”

“It's in process, but Clarke,” Wells paused, meeting her eyes. “it isn't gonna be an easy ride.”

“What don't I know?” She asked, looking around the room. 

Wells was the one that spoke up. “With the secret of Praimfaya out, the woods are a war zone. After what happened with Ilian, I can't spare many of the guards to protect you.”

“That’s okay, I can make this trip alone.” She said with a shrug, tucking her hands into her pockets before they could see her hands start to tremble. 

“Clarke, I'm going with you.” Kane said, clearing his throat as she cocked an eyebrow at him.

She lowered her voice gently, “You can't.”

Kane looked taken aback. “I'm the chancellor.”

“That's why you can't.” She straightened her back. “I know you just arrived after everything that happened this week, our people need you back in Polis, now more than ever. I know you're worried about my mother.”

“She's going into space in a 100-year-old rocket. Do you have any idea how many things could go wrong?” He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. 

Clarke offered him a consoling look. “Raven says the rocket's intact. She'd like a little more fuel, but as long as we get her what we've got, she said she'll get them both back down safely. Look, we have to try. I'll send her your love.”

“Yes. Please do that. And I'll make sure there's something left to save when you get home.” He promised, coming over to offer her a hug and a tight squeeze before releasing her. “I’ll make sure that everyone gets back safely and we will see you in a few days.”

She nodded before leaving the room as she moved towards the hanger. Monty was overlooking the last barrel as it was placed in the back of the rover. “All set?” 

“Locked and loaded. I do, however, feel the need to reiterate: you're about to drive the last 10 barrels of hydrazine known to man, a cargo which Raven needs every last drop of, through hostile territory packed with warring clans, over uneven roads where one serious bump could cause an explosion that would not only kill all of you but would wipe out mankind's only remaining chance for survival.” His eyes met hers for the first time since he read out the list of names. 

“What could possibly go wrong?” She asked as she offered him a gentle smile. 

\------------ 

He walked out of the room he’d been napping in, itching the healing skin at his hip when he heard Raven’s frustrated screech and the sound of flesh hitting metal. He nodded over to Miller as he rounded the corner, not surprised to see Raven and Murphy arguing. 

“I hate you!” Raven roared as she rounded on Murphy, lumbering towards him. “I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”

“What the hell's wrong with you?” Murphy yelled back as he stumbled backwards from the angry brunette.

He was just about to intervene when Luna surprised him by racing over and enfolding Raven into her strong arms. “Breathe.” Her tone even and commanding as she rocked the still screaming mechanic back and forth. “Breathe. Shh. Shh. Breathe. Breathe.”

“Should I go get Abby?” Murphy asked as he warily watched the two women. He moved forward to settle his hand on the younger man’s shoulder, stopping him from moving away. 

Murphy looked up at him and he shook his head but Luna was the one to answer him. “No.” She said in her even tone meant to soothe the still fighting girl in her arms, turning her attention back to the girl in her arms she tightened her grip. “Listen to my voice, Raven. Breathe in and out.”

He watched as Luna breathed out a mantra for Raven to repeat. The petite brunette relaxed further with each repeated word, Murphy grew more tense as they continued to chant. He heard Luna murmur into Raven’s ear before she let her go. “I know the darkness. It's ok.”

Murphy flinched when Raven nodded and turned back to the machine with a quick. “Let's go again.” tossed over her shoulder. 

“She'll be all right.” Luna said, turning back to Murphy. “Will you?”

“The darkness can kiss my worthless ass.” Murphy said, his angry mask slipping back over his face as he turned away, slipping out from under Bellamy’s fingers. “Congratulations. You're the new Raven-sitter.”

He looked at Luna, who just nodded at him before turning to follow Raven. He moved away from them to search out Abby and let her know what had happened and then he was going to find Murphy and have a sit down with him. 

\------------ 

Wells slowed the Rover as they came upon a group of grounders. “We got a situation.” He called to the back and Clarke poked her head out to see what Wells had been talking about as he pulled the radio out to tell the transport truck behind them. “Looks like a Trikru checkpoint. Stay alert, show no weapons.”

She leaned closer to the windshield as she came fully into the cab of the rover. “Wait. It's not a checkpoint. They have wounded.”

She climbed out of the passenger seat as soon as they came to a full stop, Wells calling out after her. She heard the thrum of his deep voice as she shut the door behind her, ignoring whatever he was saying. 

The triku warrior bowed to her as she neared them with a reverent “Wanheda.”

“What happened here?” She knelt down next to the older man who laid on the ground as she examined the gaping wound. 

“Azgeda burned our village to the ground.” The whole group around them shifted uncomfortably. “My father caught an ax with his leg and we can't stop the bleeding.”

She pulled away from the man, knowing that there was nothing further she could do, that his death sentence had already been signed when he was injured. “I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do.”

“Think maybe you can clear the road?” Wells asked as he finally rounded the corner, Clarke stood up and looked the man in the face, seeing blue eyes that reminded her of her own and her father’s.

She turned away to crawl back in the rover when the man reached out, gripping her arm to stop her from leaving them.“If you're headed to Polis, we could use a ride.” 

“We're not headed to Polis.” Wells pulled the man’s hand off her arm, she couldn’t stop herself from turning around to look the man in the face one last time, Wells firm hand on her lower back guiding her forward. 

She climbed into the rover and watched them for as long as she could without turning around. Committing their faces to memory, the people that she’d condemned to die. She stuffed her wringing hands into her pockets to stop the fidgeting. “Looks like we got another problem.” Wells announced shortly after the warriors had faded from view.

She turned her eyes forwards to catch the sight of a rapidly flowing river. “Murphy didn't say anything about a river.”

“What else could go wrong?” Wells murmured as he tightened his knuckles around the steering wheel.

“It’ll be okay we can find a place to cross upstream.” She reached out for him like she’d done millions of times over their years of friendship, her hand hesitated just as she was about to touch his shoulder, her eyes meeting his before her hand dropped back to her lap. 

He nodded before turning the rover north, the radio coming up to his mouth to relay the information. Her eyes turned back towards the front, hands back in her lap. The slow pace they now took to keep from rocking the truck behind them allowed for less distracting views of the scenery.

“Clarke, I -” He paused when she turned to look at him. His eyes forward and posture tense. A humorless chuckle fell off his lips. “How did we get here?”

She almost decided to play dumb but figured they may not make it out of this alive and it was better to clear the air before they all died. “I did horrible things to keep everyone alive and you can’t accept that. You hate me for it, but Wells,” She paused to pull in a breath, knowing that the people in the back of the rover were going to hear her next words. “They would have all died, I had to save them and if that means I have to bear the burden of those deaths, of everyone’s hate, I will do that, because I’m not sorry for doing what I did. I regret that we couldn’t find another way but it was the only choice we had. And I’m not sorry for doing it, for saving everyone.

She pulled in another breath, she clenched her jaw to keep the tears that threatened at bay. “If they had succeeded in getting out of the mountain, what do you think would have happened to the grounders, to the rest of Arcadia? We would have been hunted, the grounders would have been slaughtered.”

“And Bellamy would be dead.” Wells interrupted her thought, her heart struck cold. 

She nodded. “Yes, Bellamy would be dead, but he wasn’t who I was thinking of. You were. Raven was. My mom, Kane, the Millers, the ones who had been forcibly detained and murdered for their soldiers with advanced weapons to leave their rat hole. I couldn’t let them wreak havoc on our people, not unchecked, not with Cage in charge. Wells, I did horrible,  _ horrible  _ things. I know that, I  _ know  _ that, But I would do that again and again if it meant we got to live. I knew you couldn’t, Monty couldn’t but  _ I _ could. I couldn’t ask anyone but myself to make that decision.”

“The world doesn’t deserve you, Clarke.” Wells mumbled when she paused for breath, her breath got hung up on his words, the pressure of tears gathered behind her eyes, she turned to him. “Clarke, I don’t hate you. No one hates you, but you saved us and left us all in one breath and everyone turned to me, I don’t know how to be you, Clarke.”

The first tear dripped over her cheek. “I didn’t expect you to be me, no one needs a leader like me. I didn’t even want to be a leader.”

“And yet you keep leading us when we need you most.” He reached over to grab her hand and she felt her body unclench infinitesimally at the contact. “No one had any faith in the adults, you were gone and we were grieving and I looked for you everywhere. Murphy was gone. I was alone and it hurt. Then we found you, captured by Bellamy and then you go and marry the man who hurt you so deeply, just so we could live free.”

She squeezed his hand. “Bellamy isn’t a bad man, he was just trying to do the best he could for his people.” 

Wells laughed. “I know that now and he loves you.”

She smiled, her free hand wiping away the tears that still rested on her cheeks. “I know.”

“I’m glad that worked out and you didn’t have to marry someone awful.” It was her turn to laugh at his words, a smile graced her face as she looked over at him. “Clarke, you’re still my best friend. I still love you and I don’t want to die without you knowing.”

“I love you too, Wells. Let’s go try and not die.” He groaned and thumped his head against the head rest but there was a grin on his face still. 

\------------ 

Bellamy found Murphy muttering to himself in Trigedasleng, intentionally mangling the mantra that Luna had used to calm down the angry mechanic. “It's the intention that matters.” He offered, breaking off Murphy’s frustrated muttering. “Raven needs you, Murphy. She's been in there a long time.”

“Well, in case you haven't realized, Raven hates my guts.” Murphy sneered, sitting down from his fantic pacing. 

“I don't think that was her talking.” He offered, sitting down across from Clarke’s friend.

“Oh, no,” He scoffed. “No, it was. You know that little limp she's got? Yeah, that was my fault, I didn’t protect her, didn’t protect them”

Bellamy looked over the slumped man in front of him. “I don't think she hates you for that as much as you hate yourself.”

“Why do you care about any of this?” Murphy asked, looking up to meet Bellamy’s eyes. “You're the miracle, right? You and Luna. You're gonna live through the radiation either way?”

“Maybe I don't want to be here without everyone else. Without you and Clarke and Raven.” 

“Really? Why? Because that kind of sounds nice to me.” Murphy crossed his arms and leaned back, slumping petulantly further into the chair.

He raised his eyes in question at the man before him. “I don't believe that.”

“You don't know me very well.” Bellamy pulled a face at his words, disappointed in the man that Clarke had so much faith in, disappointed that he could act so childish. 

“Clarke told me that you stole medicine to save Luna’s girl. I know that you saved Raven from the drones.” 

Murphy pressed his cheek into his shoulder, muttering, “And I'm definitely rethinking that decision right about now.”

Bellamy sighed, standing. “I know what it's like to hate yourself, Murphy. Because of the color of my blood, I was raised to be a killer. The Flamekeepers harnessed my rage and taught me it was nobility. For years, I reveled in death and violence. I killed and betrayed my friends. So trust me when I tell you, if I found peace you can.”

“I think peace is overrated. It's the fighters that survive.” Murphy shouted to Bellamy’s turned back, he hazarded a peek back at the man still slumped in the chair, arms crossed but looking more introspective than he had. 

Bellamy took the long way back to Luna and Raven hoping that it would burn some of his nervous energy off to keep him from pacing while he waited for Clarke. Luna was perched on the table, hands settled on her knees as she chanted meditatively with closed eyes. 

Raven was muttering as she slid back and forth from panel to panel. “I've strained the air brakes. I've adjusted the grid fins. I reversed the thrusters. Damn it, what am I missing?” The sound of Luna’s words both calming and aggravating the mechanic. “Luna, meditating isn't gonna help me land this stupid ship.”

The sound of footsteps behind him had him turning to face the man he’d left behind moments ago, his smirk back in place. “No, but it might keep your brain from blowing up.”

“Great. He's back. Ok.” Raven’s eyebrows pinched together as she rubbed her temples. “Ok, just think, Raven. Ok, just think. To land this ship in one piece, calculating the re-entry trajectory has to be perfect, deploying the thrusters has to be perfect, the burn rate has to be perfect.”

“Perfect. Maybe perfect is your problem. What?” Raven’s head popped out of the doorway of the rocket, looking blankly at Murphy. Her blank stare pulling more words from his mouth. “Perfect sucks. Who cares about perfect as long as you and Abby walk away with the magic potion, right?”

“A controlled crash is still a crash.” Raven’s eyes turned to Luna as Bellamy watched Raven’s mind whirl. 

Luna raised a brow, her quiet words were simple. “Swim away.” 

“A controlled crash into the water. Luna, that's brilliant.” Raven dove back into the ship, Murphy’s annoyance at his dismissal was written over his face. “Damn it. The computer won't let me execute a controlled crash.”

Murphy threw his hands out to the side as he shouted at the girl in the rocket. “So screw the computer, Raven. Fly it yourself.”

“Switching to manual.” Raven popped back out for a moment, calling out to the man who’d turned to leave again. “Murphy! Thanks.”

He offered her a small smile, turning off to the side to plop down on the couch. 

\------------ 

Wells pulled up to the dock throwing the rover into park just as a boat floated into place, Miller and Emori aboard. Wells turned to her with a bright smile, like he used to wear when things were simpler. “We're here.”

“I'll unload the fuel.” She said as she hopped down, giddy that she was that much closer to seeing Bellamy. 

Wells nodded, a knowing grin on his face. “I'm gonna take the Rover back to camp, stay safe. We will see you soon.”

The moment her feet touched the ground she heard one of the guys in the other vehicle calling out to her. “We've got a problem. Trikru arrow.”

She rounded the corner of the truck. “No.” Her knees felt weak as the customary feeling of nausea overtook her, as it had every time things had gone wrong recently, the stress and exhaustion warring within her body as she tried to stop the end of the world from taking all of them. Her eyes followed the trail of pink hydrazine that had since dried after slipping out of the hole in the barrel. Wells slipped his arm around her back as she struggled to stay standing.

\------------ 

Bellamy leaned impatiently against the wall as Raven ran through the scenario over and over again, his fingers tapping rhythmically against his crossed arms. His dark eyes staring but not focusing on her as she worked. The sound of her asking what was wrong caught his attention bringing him back to the here and now.

He looked over to Murphy who looked uneasy. “Clarke just radioed. They lost a barrel.”

“What?” She asked, her eyes going foggy as she looked around, seemingly lost.

Murphy started to apologize when Raven’s body stiffened. Luna who’d been quietly sitting against the wall near him stood up calling out to her. Not knowing how he knew he needed to move, he started rushing towards her just in time to catch her as she fell, body shaking. He lowered her gently towards the ground. 

He looked up at Murphy. “Go get Abby.” He turned back to the girl in his arms, brushing her hair back off her face as she started to convulse. 

Murphy, having heard her gasping breath started to scream for Abby as he ran as quickly as he could. 

\------------ 

Clarke was disappointed that Bellamy wasn’t there to greet her when she got off the boat, wishing that she could have leaned into his warm embrace, but Jackson was there and she was grateful that he was here with her mother. It was clear that he’d done some exploring when he announced “This is Becca's main research lab,” as they entered a pristine lab. “but there are 5 other levels.”

Clarke looked around “Incredible.”

Abby’s voice startled her as they rounded a corner. “God, it's really you.”

Jackson excused himself under the guise of checking on Raven. Her mother looked around her as if expecting another person. “Where's Wells?”

“He headed back to Arcadia already. I just needed to see my mom.” Clarke offered as she hugged her mother. 

Abby brushed her hand down the back of Clarke’s head. “Don't punish yourself. Going to space was at best a long shot.”

“It was the only shot we had.” She pulled back from her mother, her eyes landed on the scan that was pulled up on the screen. “Is that Raven?”

“She's sedated in the bio lab. She had another seizure.” Abby said, pulling Clarke in closer to look. “An ischemic stroke.”

She looked into the other woman’s eyes as she queried, knowing that she’d never been very good at covering up her worries from her daughter. “Well, that means it can heal, right?”

“Yes.” Abby smiled at her. “As long as she takes it easy, she'll recover. She's almost as stubborn as you are.”

“And you? How are you feeling?” Clarke asked, none to gently. 

Abby waved her off, turning back to the screen in front of her. “I'm fine.”

Clarke leaned against the desk and folded her arms across her chest, “Mom, I spoke to Jackson. He doesn't think you're fine. When was the last time you slept?”

“Oh, I'll sleep soon enough,” her mother said, her tone too bright before souring, “one way or another.”

Clarke winced at the reminder of their impending doom, her eyes pursued the room, landing on test tubes filled with black spongy material. “What is that?”

Abby picked up the tube, turning it over in her hands. “It's bone marrow. Luna's. A theory that Jackson and I agreed should remain untested.”

“What theory?” She pulled the test tube out of her mother’s hands, rolling it around, watching as the spongy liquid swished.

“We can't create Nightblood unless we go to space. But Luna and Bellamy can.” Abby paused to look in Clarke’s eyes. “Theoretically, we can inject ourselves with their bone marrow.”

“Then we become Nightbloods. Will it work?” She set the tube down into the holder it had previously occupied. 

Abby reached over to fiddle with it, realigning it with the others, just as she’d done every Clarke had invaded her lab in space with curious hands. “I think so.”

Clarke smiled at the familiar gesture. “Then why'd you take it off the table?”

“Because the only way to know if it works is to test it, and that would mean” Abby’s voice trailed off as she turned back to face Clarke full on. 

“Exposing someone to radiation.” Clarke finished, a thought occurred to her. “Can we do that here?”

“Yes.” Abby nodded, fidgeting with her sleeves. “Becca was trying to find a cure for cancer using this radiation chamber. Clarke, we would have to expose a human being to enough radiation that would implode every single cell in their body. That's what's coming for us.”

Clarke sighed heavily, not for the first time that day wishing to be in Bellamy’s arms. “I know that, but you just said it. We have no choice.”

“No.” Abby shook her head, her arms coming around her body, protectively. “We have to make a choice.”

Clarke, who'd unconsciously mimicked her mother, whispered. “Who do we test?”

The sound of Jackson greeting the grounder girl made her jump and turn to see the two of them walking in the door, cutting off their conversation before they could get any further. Emori looked slightly sheepish as Clarke watched her try to adjust her posture. “I'm heading up to the house. Does anyone want anything while I'm up there?”

“No, we're fine. Thanks, Emori.” Abby promised, before she turned to Clarke. “Hold on. Honey, you should go with her, I’ll send Bellamy over.”

Clarke, wanted desperately to go see her husband but protested knowing that their conversation wasn’t over. “No. I just got here. I want to be here with you and help.”

“There is nothing for you to help me with right now. It'll be 5 hours before the samples are even ready to be tested.” Abby pulled her into a hug, kissing her temple. “Ok? Go, take a shower, spend some time with your husband, and we'll figure this out when you get back.” Abby pushed her slightly forward. “Go.”

Clarke nodded, conceding to her mother. “Ok.”

The sound of Jackson telling them that he’d lowered the drones, trailed them out of the room. Emori’s eyes kept shifting towards her as they walked. The gaze made her slightly uncomfortable and had her wondering how much of the conversation with her mother, the girl had overheard. 

Emori shifted uncomfortably looking over again. “Raven says the black rain will be here soon.”

“Raven's right.” She nodded, hoping that was really the reason for the girl’s suspicious behavior. “I used to love the rain. Now it terrifies me.”

“I would have thought nothing terrified you.” Emori’s voice was petulant as she shoved her hands in her pockets.

She raised her eyebrows, pulling the girl to a stop. “Did I say something wrong?”

Emori shrugged her off, motioning for them to keep moving. “No. I just hate this island, that's all.”

Clarke followed her silently for a moment, before speaking up again. “Murphy said you used to work here. Is that right?”

“Something like that.” She murmured, shrugging

“Scavenging tech for A.L.I.E.?” Clarke’s hands flew up to her mouth, surprised with her forwardness before she waved off the question. “I'm sorry. Too many questions. Ignore me. I'm just upset that our mission here has failed.”

Emori looked at her edgewise, “Hopefully your mother will come up with another way. You're just like her. Willing to do anything to save your people. Skaikru's lucky to have you.”

Clarke looked at the girl who’s words had been complementary but tone was anything but. “We're not just doing this for Skaikru.”

Emori just shrugged, pushing the doors of the massive house they’d been walking towards, open. Murphy was in the kitchen singing to himself as he put something into the pot he was cooking in with a flourish. Clarke laughed a bit which turned Murphy around with a huge smile. 

She moved forward to pull him into a hug. “You can cook? You can read.”

Murphy laughed and pulled back from her with a playful nudge. “Yeah, I know what you're thinking, Clarke. Why are all the good ones taken, right?”

“A good randzi is rare.” Her laughter was cut off by the forceful words of the grounder girl. “John would be celebrated by any clan.”

“Yeah, he's a real catch.” Clarke agreed with a playful nod of her head as she accepted the food that Murphy had slid over to her, across the pale stone that she leaned against. “Oh, my God.” She said as she moaned around the delicious food. 

Murphy’s smug smile lit his face, nodding. “Uh-huh.”

“Wow.” She agreed, lifting the bowl off the counter. “I'm gonna go get cleaned up.”

Murphy nodded.“Yeah, let me show you where to go.” 

Murphy started to push off the counter just as she had when Emori placed a hand on his chest to stop him. “Upstairs. Down the hall.”

Clarke nodded to them. “Thanks.”

\------------ 

Bellamy trekked up the stairs that Murphy had indicated Clarke had ascended, when he got to the house, interrupting heated words between him and Emori. He’d moved off quickly hoping to avoid their conflict and he was eager to see his wife. 

The sound of running water greeted his ears as he crested the stairs. He moved quickly towards it hoping to catch his wife still enjoying her shower and he was thankful when his wishes were granted. The captivating sight of water cascading down her naked body stalled him for a moment before he started to frantically undress, his body yearning to join her. 

Her blue eyes met his with mirth, just as he was about to push his pants down his legs. He almost tripped over the bunched material as the hand that had been in her hair trailed down over the front of her body to nestle in the curls between her legs. Her mouth dropping open as her own hand slipped between her thighs. 

He slowed his movements down as he watched her pleasure herself, his hands reaching out to slide the glass open as her other hand landed on the peak of her breast, pulling her nipple until it pebbled. Her blue eyes dropped down to his erection before darting back up to his face as he closed the door behind himself. 

He strangled himself on her whispered name as it fell off his tongue, his hand reached out to trail teasingly down the soft skin of her sides as her own continued to work herself. Her eyes fell closed as his hands whispered over her body. He leaned forward to capture her lips as his hand brushed hers aside, one hand sinking into her wet heat as the other brushed over her pebbled peak. “Let me help you with that.” He breathed against her cheek when he pulled away from her for air. 

She wound her arms around his neck as he thrust his fingers in and out, her hips chasing his hand, her head dropping to his shoulder. He mouthed at her neck as she writhed under his touch. The desperate sound of his name had him pressing closer to her as he increased the speed. She cried out as she clenched around his fingers, her nails biting into the skin of his shoulders. 

She leaned up to kiss him again as he pulled his fingers from her, pressing her forehead to his as she pulled away from his lips. “Hi.”

He laughed pressing another soft kiss to her lips. “Hey, Princess. Miss me?”

“Mmhmm,” She agreed, her hand trailing down his stomach to grasp him, pulling a moan from his lips as he pulsed in her hand. “I missed you so much.” A mischievous look on her face, she started to stroke his heated flesh. “Looks like you missed me too.”

Unable to take any more he pulled her hand from him and turned her around, pressing her grasping hands against the tile of the shower as he bent her forward. He reached a hand down to guide himself into her before he leaned forward, his chest meeting her back as he began to thrust up into her. 

“I missed you so much, Princess.” He breathed into her ear, hands reaching around to play with her sensitive nipples.

The sound of their skin slapping together rose in volume as he pushed faster and harder, her words begging as she chased the second high of the night. One of her hands slipped down to rub furiously at her clit, he squeezed her breasts as he complied with her moaned requests, the heat of the water slicked both of their bodies as they moved. He grunted as he felt her walls clench around him, the hand that was still pressed into the wall slid down as her orgasm overtook her, pulling his own from him.

He rested his head against her back a moment as they panted, trying to catch their breath. He pulled back from her when she started to straighten, his hands sliding down to her hips. She turned in his arms, her hands coming up to cup his face as she pulled him down for a kiss. “I’m so glad you are here, Bell.”

“Me too, Princess.” He kissed her again. “But it’s time to get you cleaned up and get some rest, Abby said she’d see us back in a couple hours.” 

“She said the samples would be ready in 5 hours, but I want to be back there before then.” He nodded pressing a kiss to her forehead as he reached back for the soap, helping her to get clean before she returned the gesture. 

\------------ 

It felt like they’d barely laid down to sleep when a soft knock sounded on the door, Bellamy shifted slightly as she slid out of bed. “Murphy, is that you?” She asked as the light from the hallway squinted her bleary eyes. 

“Hey.” He said almost shyly. She heard something that, while it was indistinguishable, raised the hair on the back of her neck. She moved quickly out into the hall moving towards the sound, but Murphy grabbed her hand. “Take it easy. Look, we need to talk.”

“Quiet.” She shushed him. “There's someone here.”

The sound of Emori screaming for Murphy had them both running down the steps into the kitchen. “Get the hell off of her!” Murphy screamed as he launched at the man that Emori was grappling with, the attacker’s hands left Emori as Murphy made contact. 

Clarke moved to help Emori steady herself as she was pushed out of the way. “Are you okay? Can you stand?”

“Wait!” Emori cried out, ignoring Clarke in favor of leaping back into the fray. “He's mine.”

Murphy stalled at the surprise of Emori jumping on top of the other man. “Whoa, Emori.”

“You son of a bitch!” Emori screamed as her hands beat against his back. 

“Leave him,” Murphy moved forward to pull Emori off of the guy who’d fallen to his knees, his lip bloodied and nose bleeding. “leave him.”

Emori's eyes were frantic as she tried to get out of Murphy’s arms. “Get off of me. If we don't kill him now, he will kill us.”

“You know him?” Clarke asked as her eyes shot away from the scene in front of her to look at her husband who was descending the stairs, the sound of the struggle must have woken him up. 

Emori nodded to Bellamy as he approached Clarke, before turning to answer her question. “Baylis.”

“She's lying.” The prone man argued. “You don't know me.”

“You said you'd kill me. Well, guess what, planhaka, I'm gonna kill you.” Emori spat at him from where Murphy still restrained her. 

Bellamy’s warm hand settled on her shoulder as he took in the madness that had descended in the kitchen. “Hey, don't move.” He said, pulling her attention back to the battered man on the floor. 

“Heda, please, just let me go. I'll leave the food, and you never have to see me again.” Baylis begged, plunging his head down to the floor over his bent knees, supplicating as low as he could go. 

Clarke looked over to the still vibrating girl, “Is he alone?”

“Not usually.” Emori said, finally shrugging out of Murphy’s hold. “Where are the others?”

Baylis sat up, his face screwed up in anger. “I don't know who the hell you think—”

Emori cut him off, “Stumucha!” When Clarke called her name in surprise, Emori turned around and moved quickly towards Clarke. “You don't know what he did to me.”

“No, and you can tell me about it, but please, Emori, if he's not alone, we need to know now. Here, Murphy, take my gun.” Clarke reasoned as she pulled the gun from her waist band and handed over to Murphy. “Now tie him up. There's a medicine cabinet upstairs. Can I fix this?” Clarke motioned at the blood that dripped down the side of her face. “Murphy won't let him go anywhere. Will you, Murphy?”

Murphy sneered and his face pulled into a look he worn back at the drop ship, “Not a chance. We're gonna have some fun.”

She looked over to Bellamy who looked just as uncomfortable as she felt by the whole ordeal. “Fine. Tie him up. But when he's done talking, the kill is mine.” Emori finally agreed. 

Clarke pulled the grounder girl behind her into the bathroom she’d occupied with her husband only a few hours ago. She sat the girl down on the top of the toilet seat, her hand coming up to press on the tender skin of Emori’s face. “You did more damage than you took.”

“Not enough. Not yet. Don't tell me you've never killed for revenge.” Emori spat when Clarke flinched at the sound of Emori’s anger. The grounder girl reached up to grip the hand that skimmed the flesh of her face. “Well, then, I guess you're better than me, because I'm going to. But first, I'm gonna make him suffer for what he did to me and my brother. I'm gonna cut him for every time he cut me. I'm gonna make him beg the way I begged.”

“Emori.” Clarke brushed back the hair that had fallen out in the struggle with Baylis. “We're not gonna let him hurt you again.”

Emori shook off her hands as she stood and began to pace. “I don't need you to protect me, Clarke. I protect myself. I always have.”

“I understand.” Clarke promised as she tried to get the girl to sit back down.

Emori’s sneer was reminiscent of Murphy as she continued to prowl the bathroom, ignoring Clarke’s attempt to get her to sit down. “Like hell you do. I was cast out of my clan as an infant because of this. I was forced to steal to survive. Forced to kill. You were loved. Told you were special. I was thrown away like someone's garbage. You know nothing of my pain.”

“No. I don't.” Clarke agreed, not willing to engage with this girl. “But I do know what it feels like to think you have no choice but to kill.”

“You think I have a choice? If we let Baylis live, he will come back. Nothing will stop him from punishing me for leaving.” Emori’s voice was near frantic as she paced, her eyes, wild. “If we show even the slightest hesitation, he will use it. He will say anything to survive. And the second we let our guard down, he will strike. He will kill us all. But I am not gonna let that happen, Clarke, because today, I am the commander of death.”

Clarke moved to stand in front of the agitated girl, her hands reaching up to grip her shoulders. “Emori, I know better than anyone, that is not a title that you want to carry. Now please sit down so I can finish cleaning you up, then we can figure out what to do with Baylis.” 

Emori looked at her, and in that moment she looked so young that Clarke couldn’t help but feel for her. Emori nodded and Clarke moved her back to the toilet so she could quickly finish up. As they made their way down the steps back to the kitchen, she could hear Murphy taunting the man. 

“-orture me all you want, and that won't change the fact-” Baylis was saying as they breached the kitchen, Bellamy’s restraining hand settled on Murphy’s shoulder. 

Emori cut off Baylis’ pleas as she pushed passed Clarke. “Who's the scared child now, Baylis?” Emori grabbed the knife that had been placed on the counter while they were upstairs and started towards the prone man, quickly. “For my brother. For me!”

“Wait.” Clarke cried out as she darted after the girl, her hand barely restraining the knife. 

Emori growled before she turned back to Clarke. “What?”

Clarke sighed in frustration. “You'll kill him.”

“That's the idea.” Emori said as she tried, again, to pull her hand from Clarke’s.

Murphy started to move towards her before Bellamy tightened his hand on the slight man’s shoulder. Murphy glared back at him before he turned on her. “Why don't you stay out of it and let her have this, Clarke?”

“What if his death could save us all?” She breathed, hating herself for the words as they fell from her lips. They all looked at her in question, she heaved another sigh, then proceeded to tell them about the only other option they had for salvation and what that would mean for their captive, her heart breaking all the while. Her only comfort was in the hand that Bellamy laid on her shoulder as she delivered her terrible words, Murphy having been frozen by the idea. 


	28. It’s Hard to Imagine, Bigger Than I Could Fathom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She nodded. “I'll finish it.” She pulled the syringe from her mother’s hand, allowing her a moment to move away from the bed. The weight of everyone’s eyes on her had her hand, that she’d barely steadied a moment ago, shaking again. Her eyes turned up to meet Bellamy for a moment, she looked back down to the girl on the table, unable to defend herself. The sound of her friend sobbing still ringing in her ears. 
> 
> The horror pulled her away from the table as she looked back up to Bellamy again, his body tense, poised to move towards her, as if he knew what she was considering. “I bear it so they don't have to.” She whispered, her head turning back down to her own arm, she drove the needle in, swiftly pushing the plunger down before anyone could make a move to stop her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Sorry guys... wanted to get this out before you waited another two weeks, work has picked up and so writing time has been small.

The next couple of hours were a rush of activity as Murphy and Bellamy hauled their prisoner back to the lab, Jackson induced a coma for the man and her mother completed the solution to inject. 

“Hey. None of us like what we're doing here.” Clarke’s hand moved to steady the shake in her mother’s hand. “Not even to someone like him. But if this works, we survive. Simple as that.”

Her mother nodded, sliding the needle deep into his vain, the dark solution flowing down quickly. They all watched with bated breath for an initial negative reaction, relaxing only after 5 minutes elapsed with no signs of rejection. “Okay, now we need to wait to allow his body time to synthesize the serum and start to produce it on his own. Jackson and I will monitor and pull labs for the next couple hours and let you know when he’s ready.”

Clarke started to protest before Bellamy pulled her back into his chest. “Clarke, you barely had any rest, at least come sit with me on the couch. We can do nothing right now to make this go any faster.” 

She sighed before nodding and moving off to the couch without waiting for him. She turned to look at him a moment when he sat down next to her. “I hate it when you’re right.” She murmured before leaning over to press a kiss on his jaw. 

He smiled brightly at her, his hand cupping her cheek before he pressed a kiss to her mouth. His lips brushed over hers tenderly as he pulled back only far enough to say. “I know.” Her laughter was pulled from her lungs as she smacked his shoulder. The thumb of his large hand that still cupped her cheek brushed the fragile skin under her eyes. “Even your skin is tired, Princess.”

Her smile faded as she stared up into his eyes. “I’m scared all the time, Bell. I can’t sleep because I’m always scared when I’m not with you, but it will all be over soon. One way or another.”

Her eyes slid closed as he leaned forward to press his head against hers, “I’m here, Princess. Please get some sleep.” His lips pressing against her’s kept her from replying, his hand coaxing her to lean further into him and her head falling to his chest when his lips released her’s. “Sleep now and I’ll wake you when it’s time.”

\------------ 

Before long, Abby was shaking his shoulder to wake him, the warmth of his wife pressed against him had long since lulled him into a light repose. Her mother’s hazel eyes darted down to the blonde head still nestled into his chest before meeting his. “Is it time now?”

Abby nodded. “Yes, when you and Clarke are ready to join us we will begin.”

His eyes dropped down to Clarke as he nodded, waiting until Abby moved off to run his hands through her hair, fingers massaging her scalp. Her sleepy moan, drawing reactions out of him that would have embarrassed him if anyone else were around to see. “Clarke? Princess, it’s time to wake up now.”

She turned her face further into his chest, hands tightening around the fabric of his shirt. His hands slid out of her hair to run down her back as she attempted to pull herself out of her restful nap. “Bellamy?” Her voice was quiet, no more than a whisper in the wind. 

“I’m here, Princess, but it’s time to wake up now. Your mother and Jackson are ready for us.” His hands soothed up and down her back as she nodded, finally pulling away from his chest. One hand came up to her cheek to rub against the still to dark bags under her eyes. “There you are, just as beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on you.”

Her snort pulled him out of his reverie. “The first time you saw me, I was covered in cuts and bruises from escaping Mount Weather, I’m sure I was terrifying to look at.” 

He laughed with her for a moment. “That wasn’t the first time I saw you, Clarke. Just the first time you knew I saw you.” He chuckled as she mumbled “stalker,” under her breath.

He pulled her up to stand before dropping a kiss to her forehead, his hand seeking her’s. “Let’s go get this over with.” She sighed, her fingers clenching around his. 

Abby and Jackson, looked up at them as they entered for a moment before they turned back to the unconscious man. “Vital signs are strong.” Abby noted in her tablet, eyes flickering between the screens next to the radiation chamber and the screen in her hand. “Jackson, seal the chamber.”

“Copy that.” Jackson nodded, fingers dancing over the keys in front of him. “He's ready.”

“Yeah, but are we?” Raven’s voice from the corner startled him as his eyes turned to take in the rest of the room. 

Emori and Murphy stood away from the rest of Skaikru and Luna. Emori’s eyes were angry as she watched the commotion. “The guy's a monster.”   
  


Clarke’s hand squeezed his before she spoke up. “We've been over this, none of us want to do this, but the death wave will be here in 10 days. Luna's stem cells grafted successfully.” She let go of his hand to move towards her people in the corner, her eyes seeking out Raven’s. “Baylis is making nightblood on his own. This really is our only hope.”

“We really still talking about this? Black rain is already here.” Murphy’s hand reached out for the girl at his side. “18 people died from it yesterday at Arcadia, so if nightblood can let us walk around in it, I, for one, want to know about that.”

“Ok.” Abby said cutting off any further conversation. “Jackson, proceed.”

Jackson’s hand shook as he pressed a few more keys, his eyes watching the steady progression of radiation on the screen in front of him. “500 REM. 850. This is where we'd see symptoms in a non-nightblood.”

“BP is 100 over 50. Body temp is over 98.7.” Abby called out to them. “Resting comfortably.”

“1,000 REM. 1,500.” Jackson intoned. 

Clarke moved back to his side, her fingers tight around his forearm as they watched. He couldn’t deny the relief as Abby called out again. “All good here.”

“2,000 REM, the level of the black rain.” Jackson informed the group, he could feel the press of Skaikru as they moved in closer. 

“Still nothing,” Clarke breathed into his shoulder. “it's working.”

Jackson sounded hopeful as he called out. “2,500.”

The sudden shrill sound of the monitor beeping rose. “No. Turn it off!” Clarke screamed as Jackson froze. The sedated man’s body covered in angry red boils arched up off the bed.

“Get him out of there!” Abby screamed as the dying man continued to fight against the poison in his veins. 

Jackson grabbed at Abby as she attempted to manually open the chamber. “Wait, it's not safe yet.”

A scream ripped from the damaged throat of the man in the chamber, blood pouring from between his lips. Clarke’s horror was palpable as her fingers clenched down on his arm, a long continuous tone finally rising above the now silent man. “What have we done?” Abby whispered to herself. 

\------------ 

Clarke laid silently in the bed with her husband wrapped tightly around her. The tears that had been running, had long since dried, her eyes still unfocused as they stared at the blank wall of the bedroom. The crackle of the radio startled her, her body jumping slightly. The sound of Kane’s voice came across the radio. “Bellamy?”

“What does he want?” Bellamy asked quietly, his voice almost silent except for the fact that his lips were still pressed to her head. 

She shook her head, about to respond when Kane’s voice rang out again. “Bellamy?”

“You’d better just answer him.” She pried his hands from around her waist and moved to collect the radio before settling back into his arms. 

“Kane?” Bellamy turned over to lay on his back, pulling her along with him. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes Heda,” She heard her mother’s lover sigh on the radio, her eyebrows rising as she met Bellamy’s eyes. “Jaha believes we found a decoy built by the new dawn cult to keep the level 12 bunker from being overrun. He believes that is why “from the ashes we will rise” became a prayer and their corporate logo became your sacred symbol.”

She pulled the radio from his hand. “How could he possibly know that?”

“Hello Clarke, he said, it's because that's what he would do.” Kane sounded weary at the words. 

“What do you need from us?” She looked up at Bellamy who was running his hand up and down her back. “Why tell us this?”

“We need Bellamy to speak with the Flame keeper, we need to see where Becca Pramheda temple is. Jaha believes that there might be something there.” 

She felt more than heard Bellamy sigh as he pulled the radio from her hands. “I will give you permission, you will need to get Indra though. We will need her daughter’s assistance. Titus will not allow you entry.”   
  


“Thank you Heda, we will call you back when I find Indra.” Bellamy dropped the radio to the side, off the bed. His newly freed hand came back up to wrap around her again. 

“Clarke, I love you.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head, the air around them heavy. 

She turned her face up to look at him, the shine of tears once again present in her eyes. “I love you too, Bell. I would have loved growing old together.”

“We will figure this out. Together.” He promised. 

She closed her eyes, turning her face away from him, unable to pull blind faith out of her heart in this moment. “Of course.” She agreed, though they both knew that she didn’t. 

The feeling of her stomach rolling had her shooting up out of bed, just as she had in the months prior when the stress of the world got too much. She could hear the pounding of her husband’s feet on the carpet as he chased after her, barely making it to the toilet before her meal reappeared.

“Clarke, are you okay?” She could hear the worry in his tone as he pulled her hair back from her face. 

She nodded, wiping away the spittle from her chin as she sat back, unable to look at him. “It’s just stress, Bell.”

\------------ 

He couldn’t stop his eye from darting to Clarke every so often, his worry for her had him tense all over, even though she insisted that she was fine. When they finally moved out of the bedroom and back to the bunker, everyone else had congregated back in the lab as Jackson and Abby worked to figure out where they went wrong. 

“How's the weather, Reyes? Forecast still calling for death?” Murphy joked, the rest of the crew ignored him. 

Luna worked quietly praying over the dead man, “The stones of his ancestors.” He heard her say, the words struck him as odd as he once again felt something off about this man. 

Jackson called out to Abby before he could pull a question from his mind. “Abby, take a look at this?”

Clarke was intrigued enough to pull away from him as her mother slid over to Jackson. “What is it?”

“Sodium polythanol sulfonate,” Jackson turned to Clarke, his eyes were lit up like a candle. “It's an additive used to prevent clotting. Looks like the radiation broke it down and caused a chain reaction.”

Clarke’s voice filled with all the lost hope he’d been looking for earlier, his chest finally released a bit as she asked. “What happens if we remove it?”

Abby turned to her daughter. “We could save everyone.” 

“You could?” Murphy asked, moving in closer to Clarke, his side almost brushing hers. “So you're saying this can still work.”

Abby shook her head,“Not without testing.” she said, closing off and turning back to the screen in front of Jackson. 

“The last guy just died, screaming in agony,” Raven scoffed, “and you wanna try it again?”

Clarke turned to her friend, her face drawn tight, “Give us a better idea, Raven, please.”

“So what?” Murphy asked, his tone excited, “We just go out there, hunt for someone else?”

Miller came down the stairs to join them in the lab, “No one's going anywhere in this storm.” His eyes flicking up to the screen that was showing the readouts of the radiation coming down from the sky right then. 

“Then we wait for it to pass.” Murphy agreed readily. 

“When it does,” Bellamy offered hesitantly, stepping up to his wife, his hand brushed against hers. “there may not be hunting for someone else to kill.”

Luna whirled on them, her tone as wild as her hair. “What's the matter with you people, even Baylis honored the dead. He wore the stones of his Rock Line ancestors, who will honor him?”   
  


Clarke moved away from her mother and towards the curly headed grounder, her hand reaching out to take the stones from Luna’s outstretched fingers. “Wait, Baylis was Sangedakru.”   
  


His eyes darted over to Emori as she slid slightly further behind Murphy. “He was, he was also a thief, he probably stole those stones.”   
  


“A thief who didn't bare the mark of Sangedakru?” He asked, narrowing his eyes as Murphy’s hand reached back to grasp Emori’s. 

Clarke’s eyes were wet as she moved in on them, her hand coming up to grasp Murphy’s shoulder. “That wasn't Baylis, was it?”

Murphy scoffed, but his eyes darted around. “Come on Clarke, that's crazy. Of course-”

“Who did we just kill?” She cut him off, her tense hands shaking her friend. 

The frightened girl darted around her lover and he quickly moved to intercept her right as she tried to grasp the metal pole. “Emori, go easy!” Murphy shouted after her from where he was still contained by Clarke’s hands. 

“John, take out the machine.” Emori screamed as he hefted her over his shoulder. 

Murphy had almost gotten away from Clarke when Miller pulled out his gun, cocking it and pressing it to Murphy’s temple. His voice was weary as he spoke. “Don't do anything stupid, Murphy.”

“Looks like we know who's next.” Bellamy offered quietly, his heart breaking for his new friends, for his wife, and for what this world had forced them to endure. 

\------------ 

Clarke closed her eyes with a steadying breath as Murphy’s voice screamed out. “Now you're gonna lock us up? Well, we're not gonna touch your stupid machine, all right?” Her hands shook at her side as she tried to keep the tears at bay, her heart broke as the doors slid closed behind her. Her friend bound to the rocket that had been, what they thought would be a life saver, less than a day ago, Murphy’s voice still chased her. “Please, Clarke, you can't do this to us. Raven, please, don't let them do this to us!”

Raven rounded on her as the doors finally sealed, Miller standing ready outside the doors. “Please tell me you're not actually considering putting Emori in that chamber.”

Ignoring the limping mechanic, Clarke moved past her friend to her mother’s side as her and Jackson continued to run simulations. Abby’s eyes flicked up to hers. “Mom, I don't know what else to do.”

Bellamy sidled up to her, his hands dropped onto her shoulders and his thumbs ran soothing circles on her neck. “There is nothing else to do, we all know it.” He offered quietly. 

“Abby, there has to be something that doesn't make us murderers.” Raven moved passed them, to the other side of Abby’s work space. 

“Jackson and I examined every possibility, and the only thing that we know for sure, is that if we do nothing we die.” Clarke watched as her mother was unable to meet Raven’s eye, her posture rigid as she turned to her assistant. “Jackson prep Luna for the next extraction.”

“No, you've taken enough.” Luna said, stepping back.

Abby’s effort to close down her emotion was written all over her guilty face as she offered her platitudes to the warrior. “Luna, it's ok we'll sedate you.”   
  


“I said no.” Luna shook her head. “I won't allow my blood to kill anymore innocent people. My blood is a curse. It will, however, keep you from following me into the rain.”

Abby eyebrows shot up to her hairline as she looked fully at the agitated girl. “Luna, you can't, not with that hip.”

“We need yo-” was all she managed to get out before Bellamy’s hands squeezed her shoulders slightly, pulling her attention away from the group.

“You can have mine.” He shook his head when she turned to look at him. “Survival requires sacrifice. If the freikdreina dies-”

Raven pounced onto his words, “Don't call her that.”

Bellamy gritted his teeth but otherwise didn’t acknowledge the angry woman at her mother’s side. “If she dies saving the world, that is a good death.”

“Bell?” She started to ask quietly, aware that the rest of the room was watching them. His eyes held hers for a moment before she turned back to her mother, nodding at them. 

Bellamy pulled her over to the lab table at the side, her mother’s words carried over to her ears as her husband settled on the table. “First, we survive. Then we find our humanity again.”

“I'm sure they said the same thing in Mount Weather, too.” Raven said harshly, pulling an involuntary flinch from her. 

Bellamy’s fingers tangled with hers as he adjusted himself, pulling her focus again. “You ok?”

“Are you?” She asked, unable to answer his question honestly. 

He dropped her hand only to come up and grip the back of her neck softly pulling her closer to the table. “You're doing the right thing.”

“You sure about that?” Her eyes stayed fixed on his chest, unable to meet his. 

Bellamy’s hand slid down to cup her cheek, pulling her head up until she met his stare. “Certainty is a luxury leaders can't afford.”

“I'm no Heda.” She whispered, her hand coming up to grip the hand on her face as she tried to drop her stare from his. 

“Maybe not, but you were born for this.” His thumb ran softly on the skin under her eyes, nodding. “I knew it when I first met you, and I still know it now. You don't back down when things get hard.”

She leaned forward to press her forehead against his, whispering as she closed her eyes, the pressure of tears pressing against the back of her lids. “It's always hard.”

“Yet here you are. I know you don't believe it now, but one day, they will thank you for what you're doing here.” He promised, his thumb never stopping the comforting strokes on her cheek.

“Murphy won't.” Clarke pulled back to look at him again. “Emori won't.”

She watched her husband close his eyes, pulling in a steadying breath before he answered her, “If it works, they will.”

Clarke lost the battle with her tears as they started to slip slowly down her cheeks. “What if it doesn't work?”

“Then we die,” He started, before having to clear the emotion from his throat. “We die knowing we did everything we could to save our people.”

Clarke offered him a smile, “You always know how to make me feel better.” She leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips.

Her mother brushed up to her, setting a soft hand on her back as she pulled away from her husband. “It’s time.” was all her mother offered as Jackson came forward with the tray of instruments. 

Despite her mother’s insistence that they could sedate him for the procedure he chose only to have the local anesthetic, his hand never leaving hers even as they drilled deep into his hip. His silence was hard won as the sweat dripped from his forehead, the only indication of pain was the tense grip he had on her hand. 

He laid gasping softly as her mother and Jackson moved off, she moved closer to her husband, her hand reaching up to soothe back the wild curls at his temple. “You did great, husband of mine.”

The smile he gave her was tense as he struggled to open his eyes. “You too.”

She chuckled. “I didn’t do the hard part, you did. All I did was sit here and worry about the pain you’d be in.” 

“It didn’t even hurt.” he offered before a groan fell off his lips as he shifted. “Okay. Maybe it hurt a little bit.” 

She leaned forward to press her forehead to his. “Then sleep, the pain will be dulled when you wake and I’ll be here. We have another 5 hour wait ahead of us, you won’t miss anything. 

She settled down to watch over him after she finally got him to let her hand go, her feet coming up to tuck underneath her, palm cradling her head as she leaned her elbow on the arm rest. She closed her eyes, drifting off as the quiet sounds of people working in the lab lulled her. 

A gentle hand shook her awake some hours later, she opened her groggy eyes to look at her mother’s worried face. No words were offered as Abby nodded to the silent question on her face. “I’ll go get them,” She told her mother as she unfolded from her chair. “I just have to wake him up.”

She stood up and stretched out her tense limbs, her mother moving off silently. Clarke watched her walk back to Jackson and Raven who still looked like she was arguing against what they were about to do. Clarke moved over to shake her husband to wakefulness. 

His groggy eyes opened to her’s. “Hey, Princess.” 

“Hey.” She whispered. “How are you feeling?”

“Like someone shoved a large needle in my hip, but not in much pain.” He moved to try to stand and she stopped him with a quick hand on his shoulder. 

“You stay here, we will be doing the procedure in this room anyway.” She moved to help him lay back down. “No point in moving before you’re ready.”

He caught her hand, forcing her eyes to look at him as he studied her face. After a long moment he let her hand go with a nod. She turned away to move towards Miller, when she pressed the lever to open the doors the reaper stick was already in her friend’s hand and she was grateful that she would not have to be the one that drugged Emori. The sound of Emori’s frantic pleas to her lover met Clarke’s ears as the doors opened to reveal them. “Don't give them a reason to pick you next. Survive, please.”

She moved forward slowly, her eyes begging her friend to forgive her for what they were about to do, though she was not sure that she deserved it. “It's time.” was all she could pull from her dry throat. 

“Guys, just wait, ok?” Murphy begged, his wrist raw as he turned his hands out towards them. “Hear me out.”

“John.” Emori called to him softly, tears falling from both of their eyes. 

Clarke turned her wet eye up to Murphy, the promise that fell off her lips felt like ash. “It'll work this time.”

“Then how about we just go with that and forget the test?” Emori pleaded, tears coursing faster down her pale cheeks. 

Clarke turned to look at Miller, nodding her head haltingly. His eyes softened toward her for a moment before he started to move towards the pair, Murphy’s voice almost horse as he begged. “Miller, don't Miller! Miller, I swear to God, I'll kill yo-” Murphy cut himself off as Miller pressed the reaper stick to his lover's neck, a sharp cry pulling from his throat as she slumped, limp against the drugs. “No. Miller, Miller, Miller, please. Miller, just look at me, man. You don't need to do this.”

Miller hauled the girl over his shoulder as he turned back toward their friend. “I wish that were true.”

“You don't have to do this!” Murphy turned his pleading eyes on her, begging for a moment before he turned angry as she failed to respond, her words choking her. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?”

The tears slid down her face. “I'm trying to save us.”

“Save us? Ah, right. Wanheda, savior of us all!” She winced, his words hitting her sharply. “But maybe you're forgetting the last time you saved us, I was saving you!”

Clarke shook her head. “I'm not forgetting.”

“You haven't forgotten? Then, please, you don't need to do this. Don't do it. Please, please, you don't need to do this.” She turned away from him, her heart crumbling in her chest, her shaky hands coming up to wipe at her cheeks. “You know, it's too bad that you weren't a real Nightblood because then you could have been Commander. Imagine how many people you could've killed then. Tell me something, after you murder Emori, am I next? Ok! I'm begging you, please. I love her. Don't do this.”

Clarke pulled in a shuddering breath, unable to turn back to him. “Emori will be fine.” She said, the prayer falling off her lips as if it were a promise. 

“Hey. Look at me.” He called after her as she strode away. “If she dies, you die.”

The roar that followed her out of the room, pulled a gasp from her, the sob that followed almost took her to her knees. She stopped just outside of the room as the doors slid closed. Her eyes drifting up to catch Bellamy’s. He looked about ready to race over to her despite the pain he was in. She shook her head as she squared her shoulders and moved forward, her mother already poised to inject the girl. 

She watched her mother hesitate and she made one final wipe at her cheeks as she moved in closer. “Mom, we have to do this.” she whispered. 

“I can't.” Abby turned to look at her, her eyes begging. 

She nodded. “I'll finish it.” She pulled the syringe from her mother’s hand, allowing her a moment to move away from the bed. The weight of everyone’s eyes on her had her hand, that she’d barely steadied a moment ago, shaking again. Her eyes turned up to meet Bellamy for a moment, she looked back down to the girl on the table, unable to defend herself. The sound of her friend sobbing still ringing in her ears. 

The horror pulled her away from the table as she looked back up to Bellamy again, his body tense, poised to move towards her, as if he knew what she was considering. “I bear it so they don't have to.” She whispered, her head turning back down to her own arm, she drove the needle in, swiftly pushing the plunger down before anyone could make a move to stop her. 

“Clarke!” Bellamy yelled as he stumbled off the bed. She dropped the syringe to the floor right as he reached her, his hands cupping her face, his eyes frantic as he pulled her eyes up to face him. “What did you do?”

Her mother’s soft cries of denial rang in her ears as she looked up at her husband. “We're testing me.”

“Clarke, what were you -, how could you -,” His voice was begging, even as his words failed. “I can’t lose you.” He finally settled on.

She lifted her hands to settle over his heart. “And he couldn’t lose her.” She pulled back from him, her eyes drifting over to her friends who all stood gaping at her. “He couldn’t lose her.” she said louder. 

Raven’s eyes were wet as she moved in on her. The brunette pulled her into a tight hug. “How could you be so stupid?” Raven asked, her lips pressed to Clarke’s ear. 

The weight of Miller’s arms surrounding them cut off any reply before she could muster it. “Now we might lose you. How are we supposed to handle that?” 

She pulled back from both of them, her hands came up to rest gently on both of their cheeks. “But he couldn’t lose her.”    
  
The crash of something had her jerking back just in time to see her husband slam his hands down on the table. The tray that he’d thrown was still wobbling on the ground. She looked at him sadly, his shoulders tense as he turned away from her. 

She nodded to her friends who both had tears tracking their faces, she pulled away, turning back to the door where her friend was still bound. The sight of his red and blotchy face met her as the doors opened. She rushed forward to his slumped form, her hands lifting his face, thumbs wiping at the tears. “You couldn’t lose her. I’m sorry.”

He looked at her confused. “What do you mean Clarke?”

“I bear it so you don’t have to.” She offered. 

“What did you do, Clarke?” His furrowed brow drawn tight between his tear-reddened eyes. She freed his hands with a quick pull of a knife from her belt, no more words falling off her lips. When his hands were freed he quickly reached for hers before she could pull away from him. “What did you do?”

“We are going to be testing me.” She dropped her eyes to her lap, her gaze catching on the raw lines of skin. 

His fingers tightened around her hands. “I didn’t want that either, Clarke.” 

She looked up at him again. “But you couldn’t lose her. You love her and I couldn’t ask that of you if I wasn’t willing to do the same, besides who needs Wanheda when there is peace?”

Tears moved quickly down his face again before he pulled her into his arms. “We all do.”

“No, you don’t.” She shook her head as she pulled away from him. “Come on, let’s go bandage your wrist and you can go sit with Emori until she wakes up. Your face should be there when she does.”

\------------ 

“It worked.” Clarke said as Jackson looked over her. Bellamy stood beside her, tense, arms crossed over his body as he tried to protect his heart from what he could lose. 

“It's been two hours.” Jackson said, noting something on the tablet in his hands. “How do you feel?”

Clarke looked over at him, her eyes fearful. “Ready.” was all that she said as she jumped off the table. 

He stopped her from moving off, pulling her back into his arms. He pressed his lips to her firmly as tears started to leak from his eyes. Her hands landed softly on his chest as she settled into the kiss, his fingers digging into her body wherever he could reach. He rested his forehead against hers as he pulled back. “Come back to me. Please.” 

She looked at him, her head still pressed to his. “I’ll do my best.”

She pulled away from him and he had to lock every muscle down to keep from running over and pulling her away from the machine that could take her from him. Abby, unable to stop herself, however, darted over to grab Clarke, he could see her fingers turning white from the pressure she had on her daughter’s shoulders, though Clarke didn’t dare cry out. “I won't let you do it.”

“Mom, I trust you.” Clarke said, pulling her mother’s fingers from her shoulders. “It'll work. Turn it on.”

Jackson’s fingers started to move quickly over the keyboard. Abby turned on Jackson, begging. “Jackson, don't.” She turned back to her daughter, her words stopping his heart cold in his chest. “Clarke, if you go in there, you will die. I saw it.”

Clarke looked at her mother confused. “What are you talking about?”

Abby started to sob. “I saw it.”

“Like I saw the rocket?” Raven asked.

Abby nodded and he watched helplessly as she pulled away from her mother again. Watched as she tried to steal her nerves again. “We're wasting time.” Suddenly, before anyone could react, Abby whirled away from her daughter, snatching up the same pole that Emori had grabbed for earlier. Clarke screamed out and his body finally set in motion. “No. Mom. Wait.”

The sound of glass shattering resounded over the cries of everyone, begging her to stop though the damage was already done.  _ Thousands _ were going to die. Abby broke down into sobs, the pole tumbling from her hands as she collapsed against her daughter. He helped hold his mother-in-law up as her weight settled onto Clarke. 

“Don't worry. It'll all be over soon now.” Luna called from her spot in the corner. 

Abby whispered into Clarke’s collarbone. “I can't lose you.” 

He met Clarke’s eye as she comforted her mother. “You're ok.” she said, though the terror was plain in her eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. Let me know what you think.


	29. I Didn’t Know You From Adam, But I Prayed For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She nodded, her eyes still turned to the radio. “We will.” she promised before letting the radio fall to her lap, her fingers clenching around it, head hung and eyes closed tightly. “I’m sorry, Bell. My mom shouldn’t have done that. She just killed everyone we couldn’t fit into the bunkers, but at least Kane and Jaha found another bunker. They think that they can fit at least another -” 
> 
> His body curling around her as she remained seated on the ground, cut off her words, his arms slinking around her waist. “You think that’s what I care about?” His voice was rough with emotion, his body still tense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter but here we are! Almost to the end of season 4 and the start of season 5.

Unease rolled through her stomach, Bellamy still hadn’t come back to bed, his own unease having sent him fleeing from the room they shared. She pulled the covers tighter around her body hoping to chase away the chill from the room, her body tensed for her own flight from the room at the slightest noise. 

The crackle of the radio had her jumping straight up, the covers pooling at her hips. “Bellamy!” Kane’s excited voice had her rushing over to grab the radio. 

“Kane? What’s going on?” The fingers on the hand not holding the radio, drumming an unsteady rhythm on her thigh.

Kane’s voice came back right away, his excitement seeming to mount as the words poured from his mouth. “Clarke, we did it. We found another bunker, that’s another 1300 people, at least, we can save.” 

“Still not enough,” she mumbled to herself before raising her voice to respond to the chancellor. “That’s great, Kane! Have the repairs been completed to the turbines in Mount Weather?”

“Not quite. Monty is still scavenging for parts but he thinks that we have enough time to get enough of them functional to survive the initial wave and we can make repairs after that to the last one.” Clarke hated that her reminder of the work they still needed to get done in the next 6 days took the excitement from him. 

“Great.” She paused, trying to figure out how to tell him about the failure they’d had here. “We didn’t have quite the success here we were hoping for.”

“What happened?” Kane's gentle voice asked. 

“It’s probably better we tell you when we see you.” She said, looking up at the sound of the door swinging open and Bellamy finally returning. When she saw his stoic face she turned back to the radio. “We will be leaving here tomorrow and a couple people will be staying behind to scavenge whatever they can to help us survive 5 years underground.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, she could feel Bellamy’s eyes on her as she waited for Kane to respond. “Got it, and Clarke? Be careful.”

She nodded, her eyes still turned to the radio. “We will.” she promised before letting the radio fall to her lap, her fingers clenching around it, head hung and eyes closed tightly. “I’m sorry, Bell. My mom shouldn’t have done that. She just killed everyone we couldn’t fit into the bunkers, but at least Kane and Jaha found another bunker. They think that they can fit at least another -” 

His body curled around her as she remained seated on the ground, cutting off her words, his arms slinking around her waist. “You think that’s what I care about?” His voice was rough with emotion, his body still tense.

“What else could I do?” She whispered, her hands gripping his hands where they rested against her ribs. “I couldn’t take her away from Murphy if it didn’t work. You don’t understand what his life was like growing up. Everything was taken from him because people thought they were better than them, because they were able to make the rules. He was sick and his dad stole some medicine to save him and those people, my mother, Jaha, Kane, they killed him because he was a thief. Then his mother drank herself to death because she blamed Murphy for his father’s death. I couldn’t be like my mother and take away the love of his life just because it made it easier for me.” 

She heard him sniffle as he buried his head into her hair. “But what about me? You almost took yourself from me. It was  _ everything _ I could do to stand there and watch you walk towards what could have been your death. I could have lost you.”

Tears started to slide down her cheeks as she pressed herself further into his arms. “Oh Bellamy, you don’t need me to lead. You have everything in you to do this without me. I’m just dead weight here. I only bring death.”

“No,” He insisted. “You are the commander of death, you don’t bring it, death bends to your will. You tell it when to come and when to allow life to continue, but your lack of faith in yourself allows it a power over you that could be fatal.”

“You think I’m dangerous?” her voice trembled, her hands following suit until Bellamy laced his fingers through hers. 

She could feel him shaking his head against her hair. “Only to yourself. You place everything above you in terms of priority.” His lips pressed against the back of her head. “But you are everything to me and I don’t know if I could survive without you.”

When she twisted in his arms to look at his face, he had tears brimming in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I can’t say I won’t do it again and I understand what you are saying but Bellamy. You are so strong. So much stronger than me and you could live without me and lead our people well.” 

He crushed his lips to hers, ending their conversation. 

\------------ 

Bellamy spent the next day, as they traveled back toward Arcadia, watching his wife. He was terrified of what lengths she would go through to protect everyone she could from the death wave that was coming for them. 

When they rolled in to Arcadia, they leapt from the vehicle and he immediately moved to her side, his hand coming up to rest against her back. Jaha was surrounded by people as he spoke about the new bunker. “There is an underground aquifer with a filtration system that is still operational. Some of the water will go to the hydroponic farm. Isn't that right, Mr. Green?”   
  


Monty turned to look at Clarke, his body language still tense with regret as he answered. “Most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Almost.”

“It won't be easy.” Jaha took back the attention of the crowd. “There will be plenty of hard work to go around. But together we have struggled. And together we will rise. Pack your things. Just what you can carry. We leave at first light and anyone that is going to Mount Weather must leave by tomorrow as well.”

The crowd cheered, thanking the two engineers as they moved off. Clarke stepped forward to stop them, “Is everything ready?” 

“Almost, we still have some final repairs to make to Mount Weather.” Monty looked up at him and he took in the slight man who couldn’t seem to look Clarke in the eyes even as he asked her for help. “But Clarke we have a problem.”

“What’s the problem?” She asked, her brow furrowed as she tensed.

Monty looked sheepish as he answered. “Jasper. He’s got a crowd of people locked in the mess hall. They say they aren’t leaving.”

She moved towards her friend, her arm wrapping around his back as she moved off towards the hall. He looked at Jaha who looked just as desperate to live as he had the first time he met the man, the devious man appraising him. “Indra has her orders, Jaha. As do the rest of my ambassadors. The other Krus are making their way towards Mount Weather and Polis as we speak. I hope you did not promise more spots than you were allotted.” 

“Of course not,  _ Heda _ ” the dark skinned man couldn’t quite conceal the sneer on his face. 

“Make no mistake. My people will follow me implicitly. The only one who I will make sure survives this is Clarke. The rest of you are expendable except by her grace, do not test me. You will find me and the other krus immovable.” He turned on his heel and exited the way his wife had gone, anxious to be near her again. 

\------------ 

The music was loud when she reached the locked doors, the guards already standing around discussing how to get in. “- many gas canisters do we have?”

“You can't be serious.” She interrupted. “In Mount Weather, we beat the gas by using water. Jasper will be ready for that. Just slow down. Let me talk to them.”

Sgt. Miller turned to her. “Clarke, we have over 400 people ready to march.”

She turned to look at the older Miller just before there was a sudden commotion amongst the rest of the guard. “Gun.”

“It’s Harper’s.” Monty jumped in as the guards scrambled for their weapons. 

Clarke turned towards her friend. “How many more of them are armed?”

She held her hand up to stop the guards from making any rash movements. Her husband entered from behind them causing a couple of them to jump. Monty turned back towards her. “I don't know. A few.”

The sound of a hand slapping against the door pulled her attention in time to see Jasper’s palm pressed on the window of the door. “DNR?” Bellamy questioned the writing on his hand. 

“Do not resuscitate.” She intoned, not looking back toward them. “Jasper, put down the gun. Open the door.”

Jasper shook his head. “We're not coming out.”

She sucked in a steadying breath before responding. “This is insane. Are you really willing to die, when there's a way to live? Are they?”

“That's just it.” He smirked as he started to back away. “We don't think it's a way to live. Just go, please.”

“We're wasting time. Set the charge.” Jaha’s voice entered and she turned to look at him, noting the way Bellamy tensed beside the older man. “You can go to guns but do not fire unless fired upon. Is that clear?”

“No.” She shouted, stretching her arms out wide in front of the door. “Just wait.” She turned back to the door, pressing down on the intercom and called back to the depressed man they hid. “Jasper, people will get hurt. I know you care about that. If you don't want anyone to get hurt, don't open the door.”

Jasper’s silhouette shrugged before motioning for the music to be turned up, a cheer rose from the crowd. Stg. Miller turned apologetic eyes on her as he held up the charge in his hand. “We're all set and we should clear the hall.”

He pulled her back as the rest of the guards moved away from the door, handing her off to her husband’s arms before he turned to move behind them, his hand lingering on hers for a moment to offer a quick squeeze.

The pop of the lock met her ears and suddenly the doors were open and the music poured out louder into the hall. Jaha moved into the space before she could react, leaving her to scramble after him. “Mr. Jordan, I will not leave children here to die.” Jaha said in a tone she remembered all too well from childhood.

“You sent them down to die. The difference now is that they have a choice.” She rounded on Jaha as Jasper continued to dance backwards towards the crowd of drunk people. “And so do you.”

“What are you talking about?” Jaha asked, turning away from the grinning Jasper who was tipping the cup of moonshine towards the group of them. 

She turned pleading eyes on Bellamy who looked back at her, saddened by her sudden realization. “This is what they want.”

“They're wasted.” Monty hissed at her, his desperation momentarily overcoming his regret. “They don't know what they want.”

Bellamy’s hands settled on her shoulder before he leaned down to rest his chin on her head. “We can't save them if they don't want to be saved.”   
  


“If Octavia was in there, would you let her stay?” Monty jumped in, his tone frantic.

Bellamy lifted his head to look at the distraught man. “If Octavia was in there, at least I'd get to say good-bye.”   
  


Jaha looked at her, appraisingly before he turned to exit, escorting the guards with him. The cheers of the drunk people behind her feel like a dozen knives plunging into her flesh. She shrugged her husband off to move away, pausing to look at Monty who was still as a statue. “We will leave a rover for them.”

“I’m going to stay for a while in case they change their minds.” He finally moved to look at her. 

She nodded. “Don’t stay too long, we can’t risk it.”

He turned back to the crowd without another word and she continued forward, her eyes catching Bellamy placing a comforting hand on Monty’s shoulder briefly before he moved to follow her. 

\------------ 

The next two days were a mass of movement, both coming and going from Polis, the time ticking away quickly after Miller had dropped them off before he took off back to Becca’s lab for Emori, Murphy and Raven. Clarke stood anxiously at the window of their bedroom on the top floor of the tower, Indra had left with the final reports of who would be stationed where, the turbines in Mount Weather, still only partially functioning. The worry lines were heavy on his wife’s face.

He turned back to the reports scattered on the desk, his eyes unfocused. He hoped that the arrival of Murphy and Raven would help to ease the worry from her shoulders. He hoped that they’d saved everyone they could, hoped that it was enough. He started to sit when the door to the room was opened by the guards, catching him off guard, his eyes flicking to Clarke who still stared out the window before he acknowledged the man. “Yes?”

“Heda, there are Skaikru asking for Clarke.”

“Let them in.” He moved towards Clarke who’d finally turned her attention back to the room at the mention of her people. 

His hand reached for her just as Murphy entered the room, followed by Emori. He could see Clarke’s eyes searching for the others beyond them, her posture stiff. “Where is Raven.”

The tense man in front of them did not set his nerves at ease. “Raven stayed. She told me to tell everyone she floated herself.” A watery chuckle left his lips. “She said she was dying and just wanted to feel peace again, wanted to space walk again.”

“She’s going to space?” Clarke asked, moving away from him and into the arms of her friend, who’d turned his teary face into Clarke’s shoulder as he nodded. 

When they pulled away from each other they both had wet cheeks, “She wouldn’t come. I tried, Clarke, I tried.”

She shushed him. “I know, Murphy.” 

“I’m sorry for your loss, both of you. Murphy you are welcome to a room here until it is time to move into the bunker. We have less than 3 days left now and the clans are starting to move in tonight. We will be the last ones to enter, but of course you are welcome to move in with your clan tonight as well.” He offered, as he moved towards the pair, his hand landing on the small of Clarke’s back. 

“Thank you, Heda.” Murphy said, finally letting go of his friend. 

He offered his hand to the man. “It’s just Bellamy to you, friend.”

Murphy turned surprised eyes on him before nodding. He could feel Clarke’s surprised eyes on him as she leaned further into his side. “We will leave you to you then,” Murphy paused. “Thank you, Bellamy.”

“Murphy,” Clarke paused, her hand tightening in the fabric of his shirt at his hip. “We are having a meeting with the ambassadors and some engineers tonight. I’d like you to be there.”

He nodded before he turned and exited the room. Clarke turned into his body, her other hand sliding around his waist as she rested her chin on his sternum. He looked down at her, his arms tightening around her, caging her in, he leaned down to press his lips to her. “I’m sorry about, Raven.” 

“Me too.” She pulled back just enough to adjust her head to lay her cheek against his chest. 

\------------ 

The next three days seemed to be meeting after meeting with her husband trying to soothe fraying tempers at every turn. His sister and his right hand, Indra were working tirelessly as they tried to fulfill every order he gave them. She’d heard the whispered words as he begged them to be careful and to not be late to the doors, over and over again. Their meetings finally moved to the interior of the bunker, most of their people having been settled in the days prior.

This meeting was going no better than the last ones had. “Fights continue to break out between the people who were not selected. One of our healers were almost killed by a member of another clan.” the Podakru ambassador said as he drummed his fingers against the table. “I think we need to get in and close the doors, forget about everyone left outside. If they took too long that’s their own fault.”

“No!” She argued, not even bothering to follow the decorum of the meeting, letting Bellamy be the one to disagree. “Unless you want to be one of the ones locked out.”

She felt Bellamy’s hand on her thigh as Kane turned to the disgruntled man. “This facility won't run itself. We need some of the people who are still outside in order to survive.” 

The radio at the back of the room crackled, drawing everyone’s attention. “This is Raven Reyes and I'm alive.”

She watched as her mother turned to Kane. “We'll need to prioritize doctors and engineers.” Her voice pleading in a way that Clarke could never see her using for her. 

Kane nodded. “All right. Of course we go for Raven.”

Abby moved quickly towards the radio, “Just hang in there. We're sending a team to get you today.”

“You're sure about this?” Raven’s response came back quickly. 

“Yes.” Abby breathed out, her voice cracking on the words. “We need you and not just for the hundreds of things we know you can fix, but for the thousands that we haven't even thought of yet.”

She heard Raven sigh before thanking her mother. A touch of envy settling in her chest as Abby reached out to her friend. “I'm just glad you're alright.”

“You'll be, too.” She could hear the promise in Raven’s voice. “My brain is healing. The seizures have stopped. When I get there, we use the same procedure on you. You'll be cured.”

“Cured? What's she talking about?” Clarke spoke up, her mother finally seeming to remember that she was not the only one in the room. 

Abby turned back to the radio after a quick glance at her daughter. “We can talk about that when you get here.”

She set the radio back on the desk and returned to her seat, avoiding Clarke’s eyes for the rest of the meeting, exiting quickly when the meeting concluded.

Bellamy moved quickly out of the hall, not waiting for her even though she was hot on his heels. “Bellamy, stop.”

“The radiation is getting worse, and people are dying out there because of fighting instead of cherishing their time together.”

He laid her hand on his tense arm. “You still think we made the right choice?” 

He looked at her for a moment, his face softening as he pulled her against him for a brief hug. “Someone still needs to get Raven.” was all he said as he pulled away from her, his hand grabbing for her as he moved quickly down to where her mother would be. 

She wasn’t surprised that her mother was with some of their guard, but she was surprised when Bellamy spoke up. “I'd like to volunteer to go.”

“And I'll join you.” She offered as her heart swelled with pride. 

“No. Someone else can go with him.” Her mother was quick to try and dismiss them. 

“Mom, look, Raven needs our help.” She grabbed her mother’s hands as she tried to keep her from walking away from the conversation. “I know the way to the island. I need to do this.”

“Well, you be safe.” Kane said despite the glare her mother sent him “There'll be a place for both of you when you get back.”

Bellamy looked over at her, his gaze tender, “I'll meet you in the airlock.”

“Ok.” she nodded, turning back to her mother. 

“At these radiation levels, any amount of exposure is harmful.” her mother rattled off. “Keep the suit sealed at all times. You have 23 hours until the death wave hits. On a good day, it takes 10 hours to get to the island and 10 hours to get back. That doesn't leave you much room for error.”

She pulled her mother into a hug. “Mom, I know, ok? We'll be careful.”

“I love you, Clarke.” Her mother’s grip was strong around her as she tightened her arms. “Don't ever forget that.”

“This isn't good-bye, Mom.” She pulled back though Abby still tried to hold tight to her. “I know what you saw in that vision, but I'm a Nightblood now, I mean, right? Maybe it worked.”

“Clarke, listen to me.” Abby begged, tears in her eyes. “I told you there were no good guys, but that's not true. There are. You are. There were no good choice for the situations you’ve been put in.”

She nodded, the pressure of tears pressing on the back of her eyes. “There never is.”

“Take care of each other?” Her mother asked, finally letting her arms drop. 

She gave her mother a soft smile and turned around to follow after her husband. When she reached him he already had his suit on and was holding out one for her. She’d barely gotten her suit pulled up when the door opened up behind her and Murphy’s face appeared before her. “You got room for two more?”

“Murphy, what are you doing here?” she turned to face him fully. 

“We heard you were going after Raven.” He moved in further, Emori trailing after him. “We just want to help.”

“I've been to that island dozens of times. No one knows the water better than me.” She promised. 

\------------ 

Clarke’s face was tense as she pressed the gas to the floor, the rover flying over the ground through the dusty haze of the dying earth, when he caught movement out of the side of his eye. “Look out!” he called out but it was too late, a man jumped out in front of the rover, his blood spattering the window though Clarke tried to swerve, the rover crashed against a tree, the engine sputtering to a stop. “Are you ok?” he turned quickly to his wife. 

She nodded. “Yeah. You?”

“Yeah. I'm fine.” He nodded, his hand reaching out to her. 

Her eyes were wide as she turned to him. “He just jumped right out in front of us. It's like he wanted to die.”   
  


“Stay here. I'm gonna check the damage.” He’d barely opened the door when he was suddenly wrenched out to the vehicle, the last thing he saw was his wife’s eyes widen as she tried to chase after him. 

He turned in the man’s arm, his hands swinging wildly as he tried to get away from the attacker. He heard Clarke grunt just before he heard a body hitting the metal of the rover. Murphy’s voice rising from the back “ Bellamy, Clarke, incoming!”

He kicked the first attacker off him but before he could cover any ground another man was on him. The sound of his friends struggling in their own fights sent panic through his body. Emori and Murphy calling out for each other had him looking around for his wife again in the brief moments of respite he got before another person crashed into him. 

“John! They want our suits!” Emori screeched before he heard a thump of a body hitting the ground. 

The twang of an arrow being released resounded in his ears before he saw it sticking out of the man who was caging him against the rover. He looked around quickly, noting Roan’s spy riding in. Her knife in hand as she dismounted on the fly, releasing it just before another man was within his reach. He pulled the knife out of the dead assailant, plunging into the throat of the guy who had his wife by the throat. 

When he turned around there were 7 guys dead on the ground, including the man they’d hit. Murphy was helping Emori up and Echo’s eyes were chasing the land as she looked for more threats. “There might be more of them. We should get going.”

“Echo, what are you doing here?” He turned towards her as they all tried to straighten their suits, pulling her scarf down to reveal the burn of radiation on her skin. 

“I know about your bunker on the island. I just saved your lives. I'm hoping you will return the favor.”

“Unless we can get another ride,” Clarke cut in before turning frightened eyes towards him. “no one's making it to that island.”

Murphy kicked into action, pulling the radio out, “Monty, do you read me? Over.” 

Clarke reached into grab the suit meant for Raven out and helped Echo into it. “Here. This suit will prevent you from getting worse. It's the best we can do right now. You'll get used to it.”

“Monty, do you read me? Over.” Murphy called again as darkness descended over them. 

He heard Echo whispering to Clarke as she helped the spy adjust the suit. “Roan banished me.”

“I heard.” Clarke sighed. 

“I was only trying to save my people. Is that so wrong?” Clarke shook her head, her eyes darting to him. 

“Murphy, come in.” He heard finally calling back over the radio. “Do you read me?”

Murphy curled over as if protecting the communication device that might just save their lives. “Yes, Monty. I read you. Where are you?”

“Two clicks outside Polis. Almost there.” He heard the hesitation in the thin man’s voice. “Everything ok?”

Clarke pressed herself against his side as they listened to the conversation “Not exactly. Look, Monty.” Murphy sighed. “I hate to ask you this, but we broke down on the way to the island to get Raven. We need you to come reel us in.”

“We're on our way.” He heard the revving of the engine on the radio. “Tell us exactly where you are.”

The sudden sound of wet coughing had them all turning towards Emori. Murphy almost dropped the radio as he swooped in on her. “No, no! Hey, hey.” He ran his hands over her shoulders “Hey, hey, Clarke!”

The sound of her name had her moving rapidly towards them. Her hands caged in the girl’s head. “Uh, you've been exposed.”

“How's that possible?” Murphy asked as he hovered. “She's wearing a suit.”

Clarke ran her hands over the suit, “The seal of her helmet's torn.”

He watched Emori’s eyes widen, “Can you fix it?”

“We just need tape.That's all.” Murphy promised. “It's gonna be fine.”

Clarke turned to look back at him. “We don't have any tools or weapons.”

“So we give her the extra suit, then.” He turned desperate eyes on Clarke, which had Bellamy moving in on them, closing the distance in case Clarke needed him. 

She shook her head, her eyes darting towards him. “We don't have another suit.”

“Yes, we do!” Murphy cried before turning on the spy. “Take it off now.”

“I saved your life.” Echo reasoned. 

“What were you gonna do if we didn't get attacked, huh? I mean, you guys seriously think she was following us out of the kindness of her own heart? No. She was gonna attack us the second that we stopped.” He stalked her retreating form. “Give me the suit.”

“Hey, Murphy! Murphy, no!” Clarke called as she tried to stop his advance.

His tone was savage as he turned on her. “What?”

“Look. You cut that suit, and it saves no one.” She said, her hands grabbing for his shoulders. 

“I'm not letting her die.” Murphy begged, his eyes looking back towards Emori. 

Bellamy finally let his tense muscles relax when Murphy slumped over. He moved to support Emori who started to flag. “Neither am I.” He heard Clarke say before he heard the click of a helmet. 

He almost dropped the girl in his arms as he turned his head in time to see his wife pull the helmet off her head. “Clarke, what are you doing?”

“I have Nightblood.” Her tone sounded apologetic as she moved toward them. 

  
“Untested Nightblood.” he argued. 

Her eyes apologized as she set her hand briefly on his arm.“We're testing it now. Take off her helmet.” Emori gasped before she started to cough again and he could feel her whole body shake with the effort of her next breath. “Quick.” Clarke said as they switched the helmets. “Ok. There you go.”

The radio suddenly crackled to life again as if it had been waiting for a pause in the commotion. “Murphy, you there? Come in.”

Murphy’s eyes were still a bit wild as he pulled the radio that was still within his grasp up to his face. “Yeah. We're here. Head northeast from Polis and, Monty, drive fast.”

\------------ 

She sat with her head on her husband’s shoulder, no matter how he begged her to take his helmet she refused, he’d finally given up hours ago. She was surprised when he finally spoke up again. “We have to talk about it, we missed the window. If we continue on to the island, we won't make it back.”

“What about them? Do we just save ourselves?” she asked, not lifting her head. 

“Clarke, if Nightblood works, we need to get you to Polis, them, too.” Bellamy begged. “We pull in as many people as we can before the death wave hits. If your mom can make us all Nightbloods, we only need to stay down there until it passes. We can still save everyone.”

She clenched her eyes shut. “Just not Raven.”

The sound of wheels approaching cut off any further cutting off any further conversation. “We got here as fast as we could.” Monty called out before finally looking at the group. “Clarke, you're exposed.” He seemed to jump into action at that. “ Come on. Let's get you into the Rover.”

“No, Monty.” She shook her head. “I'm fine.”

“I'll grab the extra helmet.” he ignored her.    
  
Murphy called out to them. “Guys, come on. Planet ain't getting any less irradiated.”

“Here. Come on.” Monty begged. 

Bellamy came closer. “I got you.” his fingers clumsy in the gloves of his suit. “The helmets don't match.”

Monty nodded. “I brought the whole suit.” He held out the green suit in front of himself. 

She sighed “I got this.” She turned toward her husband. “Help the others into the Rover.”

He looked her in the eye critically, before nodding. “Ok.” He turned to help Murphy load Emori into the rover.

When he was out of ear shot she finally let the cough that had been tickling the back of her throat for the last several moments out. “Clarke, you need to put on the suit. It was for Jasper.” He begged. “At least now it'll do some good. You should put it on. Jasper would want you to.”

“If we're still gonna make it to the island, we better -” Murphy started. 

Bellamy cut him off. “We're not going to the island.”

She nodded her head. “Yes, we are.” He looked back at her reproachfully, the question in his eyes broke her heart. “Nightblood doesn't work.”

She lifted her hand to show him the dark stain of her blood on it. “We don't know that yet. Luna got sick before she got better”

“Even if you're right, they won't let us all into the bunker if I'm still sick. It took days for Luna's resistance to kick in, and by that time, the death wave will already be here,” She paused to try and muffle another cough. “and all our friends will be dead. Are you ok with that? You know I'm not.”

“Clarke, unless I am missing something, there is no other way for all of us to survive.” Murphy turned to her. 

“What if there is?” She asked, a plan forming in her mind.

\------------ 

Clarke’s plan was admittedly crazy. Grounders in space, but it might be the best way for them to survive, for his wife to recover. They pushed their way into the lab, to find Raven sitting against the doors that hid the rocket that just might save their lives. “What are you doing here?” She asked. 

“We're not leaving you behind.” Clarke said as she crouched over the girl. 

“But there's no time to get back.” She said confused. 

“We're not going back.” Clarke smiled at the confused girl, her eyes turning to meet his. “We're going up.”

“Oh, don't look so surprised.” Murphy laughed as he helped both girls up to their feet. “It was all your crazy idea to begin with.”

“Space?” Raven mumbled as she hugged Murphy, before pulling away and looking at the rest of them. “Uh, we don't have enough fuel to get down.”

“Sounds like a 5-year problem to me.” Harper said with a grin as she hugged the mechanic. 

“You're talking about the ring.” Raven finally seemed to have puzzled it out. 

Clarke smiled as she leaned into his side. “Seems like a shame to let a good rocket go to waste.”

“Uh, how do we live?” Raven asked skeptically.

“They left a water reclamator there, and we know that Go-Sci has an algae farm.” Monty offered, his arm going around Harper. “We just get those two things up and running, and we have food and water.”

“Algae salads and recycled urine.” Murphy muttered. “Sign me up.”

“Better than dying.” Clarke spat back at him, seemingly lighter than she had been in recent days. 

“Yeah.” Murphy stuck his tongue out at her. “You say that now.”

“All right. Slow down.” Raven called out. “Breathing's important, too. What's the plan for oxygen?”

“Based on what Murphy says about the lighthouse bunker, I'm guessing,” Monty paused. “make that, praying, that there is an oxygenator there.”

Raven’s face lit up. “We take it with us.” 

Murphy grinned. “You hook it up and Bob's your uncle.”

Bellamy took in the faces all around him and it struck him that Clarke and her friends had been kids only months before, with no responsibilities except death looming ever closer for petty crimes. He was once again flushed with admiration at their determination to live. 

“You're an engineer, Monty.” Raven cautioned. “You do know there's about a thousand things wrong with that plan, right? Yes, and every one of them kills us.”

Monty nodded. “Of course, staying here will kill us, too, so” He cut himself off to shrug. 

“Raven, we need you to get us off the ground before the death wave hits.” He smiled down at his wife. “What do you say? Can you do it?”

“What do I say?” Raven laughed. “I say that the death wave can kiss my ass.”

“Good. It's settled, then.” Clarke leaned further into him. “We're going back to the Ark.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!


	30. For Someone To Love Me Like You Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That's not what I'm talking about.”She shook her head, pulling away slightly. “If anything happens to me -” 
> 
> He cut her off. “Nothing is happening to you. Now, come on. Let's run these water numbers again.”
> 
> She stopped him from pulling away from her with a palm on her shoulder. “Please, Bellamy, I need you to hear this. We've been through a lot together, you and I. I didn't like you at first That's no secret.” She chuckled. “But even then, every stupid thing you did, it was to protect your people. They didn't always see that, but I did. You've got such a big heart, Bellamy. People follow you.”
> 
> She wiped the tears from her eyes and he gripped her tighter, his chest clenching. “You inspire them because of this, but the only way to make sure we survive is if you use this, too.” She pointed to his head. 
> 
> “I got you for that.” He said, pressing a kiss to her lips. 
> 
> She pulled away, tears running faster. “Raven's premonition came true.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I edited this chapter. I moved about 1/3 of the chapter into the next chapter and expounded on it. 
> 
> This chapter deals with some heavy stuff, mostly the last 1/4 of the chapter. You can skip it if you want or if it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Clarke walked up to the room where her friend was supposed to be, waiting for her turn to use one of the radios. She hadn’t expected to hear Raven using her time to reach out to Wells, nor had she expected to hear the emotional words being shared. “Wells, don’t wait for me. I’ll be five years.” 

“Raven, it won’t be a hardship, besides it’ll be easier underground than in space. I’ll have more people to act as a buffer when I no longer talk to them” Wells laughed, though it sounded drier than she ever remembered hearing it. “I love you, Raven.” 

She gasped quietly, backing away from the door, she turned the corner to head towards her husband who had the other radio. She walked in, only to hear her lover saying his final goodbyes to his sister. The radio held tightly in his fingers, his sister’s voice laced with bitterness. “5 years; can you really survive up there?”

His eyes turned to her and she could see the tears brimming in his eyes. “Raven says we can. As soon as it's safe, we'll find a way back down.”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he bit back a sob. “We will meet again, O.”

“I'll be waiting under the ground.” She could hear the tears in the warrior’s voice. 

There was a heavy pause between the siblings, “What is it, O?” 

“I'm not sure I'm up for this, Bell.” The sound of the fear in her brave sister-in-law’s voice put a tremble in her hands. “They look at me like I know what I'm doing just because I’m your sister.”

He sucked in a breath, one of his hands coming up to squeeze her forearm, his head tilting to rest against her other arm. “They look at you like that because you are saving them, but now you have to lead.”

“How? I'm not a leader.” Octavia pleaded. “It should be you or Clarke”

“Stop. You, you're Prometheus, stealing fire from the gods and giving it back to the human race.” He said, his own voice just as strained. 

“Prometheus got chained to a rock so that eagles could eat his liver.” She could hear the tint of laughter in her teasing voice. 

He chuckled. “Thanks for ruining my metaphor, O.” 

“I love you, big brother.” She sniffled.

The sound of static crackled over the radio as he replied. “I love you, too.” He paused a moment. “ Hey, O, are you there?” Nothing but static returned. “Are you there, O?” He paused again. “No, no, no.” he begged.

She slipped around to the front of him, pulling the radio from his hand, setting it down. She gripped his hand in hers. “Come on.”

He turned wet eyes to her. “The radio's dead, won't get to say good-bye to your mom. I'm sorry.”

Tears started to track down his face “Hey.” She wiped the tears from her own cheeks before wiping his. “It’s okay.”

“Clarke, Bellamy, get down here.” Murphy called up the stairs. “It's time.”

“We are coming.” She called back, pulling her sad lover to his feet. “We will see them again, Bell, but first we have to survive.”

He nodded, pulling her to his chest, holding her for a moment before collecting himself and turning to head down to their friends.

Raven sat at the computer. “It's 210 miles from Polis to the island.” She pointed to the map. “According to what was our last drone, the wave is accelerating. If we're not off the ground at least 20 minutes before it hits, the electromagnetic charge in the pyroclastic cloud will shut down the rocket's avionics, meaning it won't fly.”

She turned around in her chair to look at them. “That gives us 90 minutes to run a 6-hour preflight check, retrieve the oxygen generator from the lighthouse, turn a cockpit designed for two into one that can carry 8, and load the cargo hold with enough food to keep us from starving in space while we wait for the algae to bloom.”

“I thought you said it was gonna be hard.” Murphy chimed in when she paused. 

Raven sighed. “That's not the hard part. Becca designed her rocket to dock with Polaris, not the Ark. That means I have to pilot it into the hangar bay on the ring.”

“What's so hard about that?” Harper asked.

“That's not the hard part, either.” Raven said, pausing to finally look over to Clarke. 

“What is the hard part, Raven?” She asked.

“Assuming we blast off in time, CO2 scrubbers on a two-person rocket won't support 8 of us.” Raven scrubbed at her face.   
  


Clarke shrugged. “So we use supplemental oxygen.”

“Our tanks only hold an hour of air.” Murphy stated matter-of-factly.

“Correct.” Raven nodded. “We'll have one hour to get into orbit, land in the hangar bay, and fire up the life-support system using an oxygen generator built to supply a lighthouse bachelor pad.”

Murphy shoved her shoulder lightly. “You suck at talking people into things. You know that, right?”

“Anyone here still need to be talked into this?” Raven paused to look around, Clarke turned her eyes to her still silent husband as Raven continued. “Good.”

Clarke turned back to her friend. “Now we know the many ways we might die today, why don't you tell us what we have to do to live?” 

Raven launched into the details of what needed to be done, but Clarke couldn’t help but continue to glance back at her husband as the directions were issued. 

\------------

Bellamy stood at the back of the room as Clarke stood next to Raven reviewing everything that still needed to be done. “So let's go over this again.” Clarke’s voice was strong though he could hear the fear in it.

“I figure two months until the algae farm produces enough to feed us. If we ration the MREs, we should get there.” Raven responded, glancing over at him, “Grounders in space, it's an oxymoron.”

“Survival's a team sport, especially up there.” Clarke said, glancing back at him again. “It was the only choice.”

“Only choice, also an oxymoron, by the way.” He pointed out, his wife offering him a gentle smile. 

“So is cold sweat.” she returned with a chuckle, Raven scoffed and left the room muttering about lovebirds. 

“Still holding out hope for that Nightblood solution?” he asked. 

“There was never any solution.” She shook her head, moving closer to him, he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned her head on his chest. “A.L.I.E. was right about that.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead. “Our fight is not over.”

She looked up at him and he could feel her hands shaking where they rested on his arms. “My mom had a vision of me dying, just like the one Raven had that told her there was a rocket here.”

“It is not the same thing.” He begged. 

“Yeah.” Her eyes were wet again and he couldn’t help but wonder how much more sadness she could take. “They were both EMP'd.”

He ran a hand gently down her back. “And Abby will be fine, too. Raven told her how to stop it.”

“That's not what I'm talking about.” She shook her head, pulling away slightly. “If anything happens to me -” 

  
He cut her off. “Nothing is happening to you. Now, come on. Let's run these water numbers again.”

She stopped him from pulling away from her with a palm on her shoulder. “Please, Bellamy, I need you to hear this. We've been through a lot together, you and I. I didn't like you at first That's no secret.” She chuckled. “But even then, every stupid thing you did, it was to protect your people. You've got such a big heart, Bellamy. People follow you.”  
  


She wiped the tears from her eyes and he gripped her tighter, his chest clenching. “You inspire them because of this, but the only way to make sure we survive is if you use this, too.” She pointed to his head. 

“I got you for that.” He said, pressing a kiss to her lips. 

She pulled away, tears running faster. “Raven's premonition came true.”

“No.” he pulled away. “I can’t lose you too, Clarke. I won’t.”

“Bell?” He could hear her follow him and he shook his head.

“I just need a minute Clarke.” He left the room trailing away from her distasteful words 

He rounded the corner, the sound of Raven shouting had his feet moving quickly as she emerged from the rocket coughing. “Raven, what is it?”

She sat down next to the ship, “There isn't enough time. We're pushing too hard.”

“What's happening?” He asked.

Much to her frustrations she crawled back into the rocket. “ Computer, systems check.”

The sound of the computer rang loud in his ears. “Computer: Launch system optimal. Navigation system optimal. Life-support system assessing damage.”

“It's okay.” He heard her mutter to herself. “We're using supplemental, anyway.”

“All life-support systems are offline.” The computer continued.

“Just wait.” Raven cautioned. “Two more.”

“Landing system optimal.” He heard Raven muttering again, under the sound of the computer “Communication system assessing damage. All communication systems are offline.”

“Recommend repair options for communication systems.” Raven called.

“Who cares?” He asked. “There is no one to talk to, anyway.”

“Quiet.” She shushed him.

“Damage is beyond repair. Total system replacement required.”

Bellamy turned as Emori entered the room. Her hand running through her unruly hair, brushing it away from her face, “Talk to us, Raven.”

She emerged from the rocket “We're not going anywhere. Computer, terminate launch sequence”

“Launch sequence terminated.” The computer confirmed.

Raven sighed, her head in her hands. “Raven, explain.” He commanded, his eyes drifting to the stairs as Clarke descended.

“It's simple. There's no power in the ring. Two minutes ago, I thought it wasn't a problem because I could activate it remotely, over the rocket's comm system.”

“So we turn the power on from the inside.” Clarke suggested. 

Raven finally lifted her head. “We can't get inside. That's the point. Without power, we can't even open the hangar door.”

“Raven, think.” He watched his wife walk over to kneel in front of her friend. “You've solved bigger problems than this before.”

“Oh, yeah,” Raven nodded sarcastically. “Not in 53 minutes. It's over, Clarke. You know, maybe if I still had A. L. I. E.'s code eating away my brain, I could figure it out. I'm not smart enough myself.”

Clarke’s hands grabbed her friend’s face. “Hey, Raven you can do this.” Raven shook her head. “Yes, you can. How many times have you saved our asses before you ever even heard of A.L.I.E.?”

“Oh, too many to count.” Raven looked up, her eyes searching the room.

“You're damn right.” Clarke reared back, holding her hands out to help Raven up. “We don't need A.L.I.E. on the Ark. We need you.” Raven’s eyes lit up, Clarke’s own eye yielding surprise. “What?”

“A.L.I.E. was on the Ark .A.L.I.E. was on the Ark. I was right there, so close to the kill switch, but she got away by transmitting herself to the ring.”

Clarke looked back at him, a small smile gracing her face. “Using the pod in the temple.”

Raven nodded. “Yes. If she can do it, so can we.”

“Raven, we'll never make it back to Polis on time, and the radios are dead.” He pointed out, Clarke smacked him gently on the shoulder.

“We have something better than radios,” Raven rounded on them. “the satellite tower. You three, back in the cockpit.” She motioned for Harper, Echo and Emori to climb back in the rocket. “Finish those restraints. You two, helmets on.” She motioned for Clarke and Bellamy to follow her. “You're with me. Computer, resume launch sequence.” She called over her shoulder as she limped forward. 

“Resuming launch sequence.” The computer announced overhead.

“Ok, everybody. Let's go! T-minus 51 minutes and counting.”

\------------

Clarke pulled at the suit as she tried to adjust it and listen to Raven’s directions. “The tower's less than a mile away. One more time, all we have to do is plug this into the junction box at the base of the tower. Sat-Star-One is the name of the dish.”

She looked up to meet Raven’s eyes. “Sat-Star-One.”

Raven nodded. “Sat-Star-One. Everything is set. Once the tablet is connected, the dish will align itself with the Ark. The graphic will flash green, and that's how you know it's locked on. When it says, "send," you hit send, and the power-up signal will turn on the lights, and that's it. Are there any questions?”

“Yeah. Why are you smiling?” She couldn’t help the grin that matched Raven’s.

“Because without comms, even with the power on, we still can't open the hangar bay door from inside the rocket.”

  
“Wait. How is that a good thing?” Bellamy asked as he finished adjusting the suit on his body. 

She turned to her husband. “She gets to take her space walk.”

She put her helmet on before helping her lover to lock his down and turning to take off out the door. They’d barely made it more than 5 yards when Murphy ran up to them, stopping them in their tracks. 

“Murphy? Hey, Murphy!” Clarke turned on her as he hunched over his knees, gasping for breath. “Hey, hey, come on, Murphy, where's Monty?”

She looked around before turning her attention back to her friend as he straightened. “He's in trouble. He had to expose his hands and he passed out. Look, if we go back now, we can get to him. You can be impressed with me later.” 

“We got to go.” Bellamy reminded her. 

Raven stopped her response.“Aligning the dish is a one-person job. Clarke can handle it. Harper will help me with the generator. Bellamy, go with Murphy.” She shooed them and Bellamy tossed the pack to Raven. “Go.”

“Bellamy-” She started before Bellamy cut her off. 

He rounded on her, “Clarke, if this is one of those moments where you tell me to use my head-” 

She smiled. “No. I was just gonna say, hurry.”

“You, too.” He smiled at her before turning to Murphy. “Lead the way.”

Clarke watched Bellamy take off after Murphy as Raven tossed her a pack “Your pack.

Everything's inside. It's gonna take you a good 10 minutes to get back from the tower and down to the cockpit. You have to leave that tower with 10 minutes on the clock or you'll be left behind.”

“10 minutes. I got this.” She felt her nerves rising in her chest, as she looked at her friend. “Any last advice?”

“Yeah. Run fast.” She nodded to her friend and took off running.

\------------

Murphy pointed out the prone man as he rounded the final bend of trees. “There he is.”

They moved quickly to Monty who was just starting to try and stand up. Bellamy threw the weak man’s arm over his shoulder. “Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here, I got you.”

Monty threw his arms around Bellamy. Murphy muttered, “Of course he gets the hug.”

Monty turned wide eyes on Murphy, “You chose the machine”

“Yeah, I did.” Murphy rubbed at the back of his suit-encased neck, “It's back at the lab, where we need it.”

Monty swung his arms round Murphy. “I may not hate you anymore.”

Bellamy chuckled. “Give it time.” He pulled Monty’s arm around his shoulder again. “Come on, let's go.”

\------------

Clarke ran as hard as she could, her lungs screaming for air by the time she came upon the tower. She slid in the sand beneath her feet as she scrambled the last of the distance. “Sat-Star-One.” she mumbled to herself as she pulled the backpack from her shoulders. 

“Ok.” she fumbled with the tablet, sniffling up the tears that tried to free themselves from her eyes. “Sat-Star-One.” 

She linked up the tablet to the junction box at the bottom, a green light blinking on, “Good.”

The wheel ran round in circles before an error popped up on the screen, “Computer: Dish not aligned.” she smacked her hand on the steel holding the box. “N- No.”

The screen blinked, ‘Dish not aligned.’ again. Clarke couldn’t help but wish that Bellamy was with her, if only for his steadying present. “Wha-what did I do wrong?” 

She unplugged and attempted to reload the program before plugging back in. “Dish not aligned. Damn it! No.” Clarke could feel the tears sliding from her eyes. She pressed the comms on her suit. “Raven, please say that you can hear me. Something went wrong. I-I did everything you said, but it wouldn't connect.”

She sucked in another steadying breath, surveying the electrical box in front of her, “Ok. ‘Manual operation’? You've got to be kidding me.”

She sat down for a second trying to collect a sob, she hit her comms again. “Raven, Bellamy If you can hear me, don't wait.”

She looked up and began the long trek up the tower. 

\------------

Bellamy hefted Monty up again, turning his head to look over at Murphy. “Let's get him downstairs.”

Murphy nodded. “Go,” he raised his voice up as they hurried down the steps, “Raven, a little help.”

“Thank God, Monty!” Harper called out as she started to pull his gloves from his hands, “How are your hands? Let me see.”

Raven hurried up to them, “No, leave them on.” Harper started to protest. “There's no time. We'll deal with it on the ark, it's T-minus 5 minutes and counting.”

Bellamy handed off Monty to Harper as the rest of them moved into the rocket, trying to get situated. Bellamy looked around for his wife. “Clarke's not back yet? By now shouldn’t she be on her way?”

Raven nodded, but didn’t offer anything further on the subject. “Everybody, refill your O2 tanks and load up. Remember, we'll have an hour each. Don't turn them on till I tell you, and after that, breathe easy.”

“Where the hell's Echo?” Murphy called out. 

“Great.” Bellamy muttered to himself, handing his oxygen tank off to Murphy. “I'll find her. You get everybody strapped in.”

He ran up the stairs, opening every door as he ran through the bunker, calling out for the spy. “Echo?” He questioned when he finally found her, white war paint on her cheeks, her sword pressed against her exposed stomach. “Wouldn't it be easier just to walk outside?”

“Heda please, get out.” tears started to pour from her eyes. “Go back to your wife, where you belong. I belong nowhere.”

He kneeled in front of her. “You do that, you die a coward.”

“I betrayed you.” She turned wet eyes up to him. “Why are you trying to save me?”

“Because, Echo, I'm afraid, too.” He answered honestly. “We are about to head to space, where we will be tested every minute of every day for the next 5 years. I'm not gonna lie to you. I still don't trust you, maybe I never will but you are strong. We have a better chance of surviving if you're up there with us. Plus, we may need to throw someone overboard to lighten the load.”

He pulled the sword from her hands. “We have two minutes to launch. Let's go.” He handed her her helmet and gestured to her suit. “Put this back on now.”

He ran back down the stairs, turning to Raven when he didn’t find his wife, “Clarke?”

Raven shook her head from where she stood at the entrance of the rocket, making room for Echo to squeeze past her. “We'll wait as long as we can.”

He turned back towards the door to the lab, his fingers dancing an unsteady rhythm on his leg.

\------------

The wind howled as she continued to climb. Threatening her tenuous hold on the tower, the gloves making her grip weak around the slick metal. 

\------------

“Come on, Clarke.” Bellamy muttered under his breath. 

“Bellamy.” Raven called out to him. 

He waved her away. “I know, Raven.”

“The radiation's already affecting the avionics.” She called again. “It's now or never.” He heard the hatch above the rocket begin to unlock in preparation for opening. “She isn't coming.” Raven pleaded. “She wouldn’t want us to waste her gift.”

“Can we give her another minute?” He begged. 

She shook her head. “We're out of time. This is what Clarke would want us to do. If we wait, then we die.” 

“Wait.” Murphy called out, his voice just as desperate and Bellamy felt. “How are we gonna know she got the power on, then?”

“We'll know when we get there.” Raven called out. “Opening launch door.”

Raven’s eyes pleaded with him. He shook his head, backing down the ramp. “You sure about this?”

He looked back at her. “It's the only choice.”

Raven nodded, “Initiating countdown.” he heard her call out as he watched Murphy close the door.

He backed away more quickly as he heard the rocket start to power up. “May we meet again.” he called out as he passed the doors to the main lab, slamming his fist down to close the doors and once again seal the bunker. 

He turned and ran up the stairs, poised himself at the door to wait for his wife, at least if she didn’t make it, he wouldn’t be far behind her in death.

\------------

“Sat-Star-One. Sat-Star-One.” She chanted over and over to herself as she found the last rung of the tower, fitting her feet as securely as she could while she popped open the junction box. She plugged in the tablet. “Dish not aligned. Dish not aligned.” the screen read again.

She let out a frustrated scream, “Come on.” She climbed up and started to kick at the dish, “Damn it! Turn!” 

“You can do this.” She yelled out to herself as she kicked again. She looked back over at the tablet where it laid on the box. ‘Dish aligned.’ the screen read and she yelled out, excited. “Yes! Dish aligned!” 

She started to scramble down the tower, when suddenly the sound of the rocket taking flight hit her ears. She looked up to see it race across the sky, her heart leaping to her throat. Her fingers slipped off the bars of the tower, her body falling backwards through the air. She was thankful for the sand when her body hit the ground.

She took a moment to watch the rocket race across the sky. “Okay. Don’t fall apart, Clarke. At least everyone you love is safe, but time to think about getting safe yourself.” 

She pushed herself up and started scrambling through the sand as quickly as she could. Her traction tenuous as she continued to run, her feet slipping from under. The trees flying past her face as the screaming winds roared behind her. 

She turned to look back over her shoulder, the red dust rose up threateningly behind her. She slipped again, falling face first, cracking her helmet. She grabbed at the crack, as she stood up to keep running. 

She rounded the final bend in the woods, the bunker rising up in front of her. The sound of her name startled her as she ran, tripping her feet for a moment, pulling her eyes up to the door, where her husband stood, holding it open calling for her. Her heart rose in her throat. “No.” 

She kept running, hitting his arms full tilt, he swung her into the bunker, slamming the door behind her, they kept moving deeper into the lab. She leaned against a metal table as they stopped. A thick cough choking her as she pulled off her helmet, the burn of radiation on her skin. 

She looked over at her husband who was just a red as her face felt, black blood dribbled from her lips as she coughed again, hunching over, her legs giving out from under her. Her head hit the counter on her way down, blood running down her face. 

She could hear Bellamy’s voice through a fog, her hand reaching up to rest against his cheek, her vision fading to black.

\------------

The next thing Bellamy knew he was waking up in a pool of black blood, but he wasn’t sure if his or Clarke’s. He groaned, his whole body hurt in ways he’d never known it could hurt. He groaned as he rolled over, his skin felt like it was going to slough off. 

Clarke laid limp next to him, if it wasn’t for her chest continuing to rise and fall he would have thought she was dead. Her pallor had him concerned, the blood still dripping from her mouth. 

He sat up, another groan fell off his lips. He started to peel his suit off, his skin that was exposed beneath the suit stuck to and peeled off with it. He gritted his teeth, tried to keep from crying out, tears leaking down his cheeks, the salt stinging the raw skin. 

When he could take no more pain he leaned over his wife, watched her slow breath go in and out of her chest as he brushed a strand of hair off her forehead. “Clarke, Princess, please wake up. But maybe not yet, maybe I should get you out of this before you wake up.”

She groaned and shifted but did not wake. Taking that as a sign that he should get to work before she woke up. He unzipped her suit and started to peel her out of it, his fingers brushing over her raw and cracked skin. Everywhere he pulled fabric from her, rivulets of blood trailed after. He was glad when he finally made it down to her underwear, peeling the last layer on her body. The amount of blood pooling around made him nervous, especially the thick coat of it that covered her thighs. 

He turned back to his own body that was still clothed. He gritted his teeth together and ripped the rest of his clothing off. The pain felt like his nerves were shredding and a fire was licking at them all at the same time. The pain was so intense he fell backwards again, crying out before his vision began to tunnel and he passed out. 

\------------

She cried as she came to, the amount of pain she was in felt like she had been shoved on top of broken glass and then dragged through razor wire traps. She kept her eyes closed for a moment while she assessed the damage to her person. The slight breeze on her skin was confusing and painful. 

She opened her eyes and turned her head and felt the tackiness of blood matting her hair. Her husband’s red, raw face greeted her and she felt the flush of admiration and adore rush through her before a flood of frustration. He was supposed to be on the rocket. He was supposed to be safe. 

She felt a stab of pain hit her stomach and she groaned as she pulled her body into the fetal position. Tears poured down her face, salt stinging her cheeks. She heard a groan from beside her, she shifted her head to look at him as she wrapped her arms around her stomach, she watched as Bellamy’s eyes started to flutter open. His own pain written on his face, another stab of pain from her stomach had her curling tighter around her stomach, her hands gripping at the naked flesh on her waist, pulling fire from her nerves. 

“Hey, Princess, you’re awake.” His voice was thick and crackled from disuse. “How do you feel?”

Her tears ran faster down her face. “Everything hurts, Bell. And I’m naked. Why am I naked?”

“I woke up hours ago and tried to peel myself out and I figured that it would be better to do yours before you woke up to save you the pain.” He reached out a hand, his fingers intertwining with hers, as gently as he could. 

“Somethings wrong, Bell. My stomach. It hurts.” She wrapped her fingers around his hand, pulling it tightly to her. She cried out again as another wave of pain cramped her stomach, and she felt a gush of fluid between her legs. 

“Clarke?” he shuffled closer to her and she could feel his free hand running through her hair. 

She cried out again, “Bell, what is happening to me?” She looked up into his eyes. Her fear quickened her breath. “Am I dying?”

“No, shh, you’re going to be fine, Princess.” She felt his hands pet her head. “I love you, Princess.” 

“I love you, Bell.” She pressed their joined hands to her forehead. “I don’t want to die, Bell.”

“Then you won’t, Clarke. You’ll survive, you have to survive this. I can’t do this without you.” She felt his lips against her forehead, shredding her nerves and sending another wave of fresh pain. 

She felt another stab of pain in her abdomen, another cry pulling from her lips. “Oh gods, Bell.”

She curled up tighter, as she cried. A strong cramp tightened in her lower belly and she suddenly knew what was happening and it sent tears running faster down her cheeks. Bellamy’s whispered words floated over her but not quite registering. She turned frightened eyes up to her husband. “Bell, I think I killed our baby.”

“What? What are you talking about?” He asked as she folded over again. 

“I’m apparently pregnant and I’m losing the baby.” She curled tighter as the tears slid down faster. “I’m so sorry, Bell. This is all my fault.”

“Oh, Princess, no.” She could hear the tears in his voice. 

She cried out again as waves of pain curled her in tighter, blood running out from between her thighs. She could feel the clots as they passed, she rolled over on her back sending a new wave of pain through her raw nerves. Bellamy scooted towards her and she felt his arms going around her, pain rocketing through her and she imagined that it was just as intense for him. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. ”

He shook his head against the side of hers, denying it. She could feel the tears slide down the side of her face where he was pressed to her temple. The pain curled her spine and she felt the need to bare down; she did with a scream flying off her lips. 

She pushed for what felt like hours but could have only been moments. She felt something pass down her birth canal, tears clouded her vision as she curled down to find her small helpless baby so still, covered in black blood. She picked up her baby and pressed him against her breast, cuddling him closer to her as she curled around him. Bellamy curled around her and cried with her. 

She cried for the stillness in his chest, she cried with the pain that screamed through her body. She cried great chest wracking sobs for herself, for her husband and for the child she didn’t know she had been carrying. She cried with the overwhelming despair at the loss of every person she’d ever know, either buried beneath the ground or hopefully floating above her. She turned her face into Bellamy’s neck, apologizing over and over again for her inability to save their baby. He began to rock her back and forth while he tried to calm her down, she could hear his reassurances, whispered into the raw skin at her neck. She could feel his large hand pressing gentle caresses over her hair. 

When she finally calmed down; when she got her breathing under control, she pulled her face away from her husband, ignoring the way the tears still tracked down both of their faces. She lifted her baby from her chest, her fingers tracing his perfect, tiny features, “He would have been perfect.”

She turned her wet eyes up towards Bellamy, his burned fingertips running lightly down her perfect, little baby’s face. “He _is_ perfect.” 

\------------

Bellamy watched with blurry eyes as his wife grieved the loss of the baby they didn’t know they were having, he was no bigger than the palm of his hand. From the features their tiny little boy had he would have been the perfect blend of him and Clarke. His heart broke for his lover but even more so for the innocent child that was caught up in the harshness of the world. 

When she finally exhausted herself from the crying and the pain of the birth and the death wave that they were both reeling from, he pulled their son from her arms and wrapped him up in the scraps of their clothing, he set the tiny bundle between them and carefully wrapped his arms around both of them. 

He held them in his arms, he ran his fingers over the perfect blend of himself and Clarke again. He was so tiny and he couldn’t save him, couldn’t save them from the pain of this world. Tears started to drip from his eyes once again as he watched his too-still son’s face until it blurred as he cried. He pressed his face to his exhausted wife’s hair and cried until he followed her into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So don't hate me here. I know, I know, but let's be realistic here. If she were pregnant and given the stuff she put her body through at the end, the likelihood of the baby surviving is slim to none. 
> 
> What did you think?


	31. Graceful Eyes To See Me Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Day 125, Wells, I don’t know if you can hear me but we found some green land today. It's like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately, the radiation didn't. I've lost track of how many bodies we've burned since reaching the ground. God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive, if I knew I was gonna see you again, but ignore me. Geez, positive thoughts, Clarke. We also found a young girl and Bellamy chased her and ran right into a bear trap. She’s a smart child, she took off running but I noticed her later in the day stalking our camp. 
> 
> “We are going to try and get further into Eden. That’s what we are calling it but we have to wait for Bellamy to heal a little bit. We set out some dinner for the girl. I hope we can gain her trust. Maybe I can still make up for the loss of our boy. Did I tell you we named him Augustus. We would have called him Gus for short. But maybe this child needs us, we can still save this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STOPPPPPPP: I know I've been gone for quite some time. I got in a major car accident and it took me some time to heal my brain from the concussion and then following symptoms. I have gone through and edited the entire story so it hopefully doesn't have any more tense or spelling errors. I also spread out the last chapter into this one to dive into their 6 year stay on the ground a little more. I have made some minor changes to some parts of the story. It's not necessary to re-read but if you feel like it please do. 
> 
> I cannot guarantee that I will be able to update this story with any sort of frequency as I'm still dealing with headaches more days than not in the week, but I will try not to have so many months in between chapters.

_ “Murphy, it's day 36 since you took off in the rocket. I have no idea if what I did saved you or not, but everything I did that led up to that, killed my baby. I killed my baby. We buried him, it was weeks ago of course, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it before, I’m sorry, but I just wasn’t ready yet. We buried him on the first day we could be outside, but we both had to be in suits to do it, but I couldn’t watch his tiny little body decay any longer so it had to be done. It’s all my fault, no matter how much Bellamy denies it. It’s my fault. I wish you were here, or maybe I wish we were there. Maybe if we had made it, my baby would still be alive.  _

_ “I did some preliminary labs, his blood was red, so he wouldn’t have survived outside of me at this point, but since we don’t understand how babies have nightblood when they are born, maybe, maybe he would have been okay if he had lived. If my body hadn’t killed him, by shoving him out of my womb before he was ready. I couldn’t have been more than 17 weeks along. He was so, so tiny and I killed him.  _

_ “I know if you were here, this would gross you out but I needed to tell someone other than Bellamy. Now I know what you would ask me if you were here, but he’s been great, so, so great.”  _

She packed away the portable radio and antenna, shoving aside the bottles of water she’d packed for them. She turned to hunt down her husband who had been searching the bunker for necessary things for their trip to Polis, to hopefully get into the bunker with his sister and her mother. 

She called out for Bellamy as she wandered through the walls of the lab. She finally found him by the doors that had concealed the rocket that had launched her friends into space. His shoulders still as slumped as the day she’d killed their baby. He leaned over the counter in front of the map she’d pulled up on the screen earlier in the day. 

“210 miles to Polis but at least we don't have to swim.” She called out to him, making him jump, pulling him from his distraction. “We got this, right?”

He nodded his head distractedly. “Yeah, we got this Clarke.” He finally turned to look at her. “We had a rover right? On just that side of the lake?” He gestured vaguely to the outside of the lab. 

“Yeah?” She moved closer to him, her still healing skin catching her eye as she passed her reflection in the soot covered aluminum on the walls of the lab, as it had every time. She pulled her eyes away from her damaged reflection and back to her husband who was healing more rapidly than she was. “Why?”

“Well, I don’t know about you but I’d rather drive than walk those 200 miles. I don’t think we could carry enough water or food rations otherwise. I think we should just take one bag with enough water to get us through finding the rover, then we come back and load it up with food and water, enough to get us to Polis or maybe Mount Weather.”

She leaned her hip against the table he was still bent over, the pain of her still healing flesh pulling a quiet breath through her teeth. His eyes jumping up to look intently at her face. She waved away his concern, sliding infinitesimally away from him as she did. “I think that’s a great idea, Bellamy.”

She could see the wince on his face at the use of his full name. She just couldn’t bring herself to use the nickname that had fallen off her lips with the caress of a lover prior to the end of the world. She didn’t deserve that luxury from him after she killed their child. His sad, longing eyes locked on to hers and she could see his hand start to reach for her. She stood upright and pulled her pack in front of her like a shield. “I’ve got three bottles in my pack if you want to put yours in here too, that way we only have to take one pack.”

“Are you going to bring that radio too?” He clenched his teeth together tightly and she could see the frustration running across his face the same as it had every time she withdrew from him. He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them back up he looked marginally more relaxed, except for his still drooping shoulders. “Clarke, it can stay here. We will be back before you know it. I promise.”

She hesitated before nodding and pulling the radio from the sack. He moved in closer before she could retreat, her eyes widening as she looked up into his face, an apology falling from her lips unbidden. He pulled her into his embrace, one hand tangling in her hair, while the other fisted into the fabric of her shirt at her waist. She started to shake apart with the grief that had clawed at her everyday since their world ended. 

He pressed his lips to the crown of her head. “You have to stop apologizing, it’s not your fault. Please, stop running from me.” He pulled away from her before she had a chance to respond, snatching the bag from her hands and headed off towards the doors to the outside. 

\------------

He couldn’t stop watching Clarke as they tried to uncover the rover, every time they stopped for a break, she silently wrapped her arms around her waist, hands rubbing at where their baby had rested unknowingly. He ached for her, for them, for what they had lost, but he didn’t know how to help her. 

She picked up the shovel again, he could hear the metallic thump of her shovel against the slowly appearing rover. He yearned to just hold her but it was few and far between that she would let him. He picked up his own shovel and dug back into the soft sand around the rover. It took them hours but they finally got it uncovered and back up and running. 

By the time they had returned to the lab night was well and truly falling, and with their halting attempts at conversation they agreed to wait until the morning to traverse the 210 miles in front of them, now that they had the rover. He let her lay in the bed as he reviewed the map again, the exhaustion from the day pulling her under quickly.

He watched her for a moment from where he sat before he pulled out the radio that she’d been using to call her friends, turning over the receiver in his hands. “Murphy. I know Clarke’s been calling you, talking to you about what happened. But I don’t know how to help her here. She’s so fragile right now, the loss of our son is dragging her down and I just don’t know how to help her. Please, if you ever decided to answer, I would really appreciate some input.”

He rested his forehead on his hands that still had the radio clutched in his hands, a deep sigh rushing out of him. “She’s so sad and I’m sad too, I guess. I’d push it all aside if I could just help her. So, any advice you got for me, Murphy, that would really help. I don’t know if she will make it through this in this ruined world with no one to talk to but me.” 

The feel of her tiny hands on his shoulders made him jump, he pulled one hand from the mic of the radio to rest it over the hand on his shoulder, the other hand still holding up his bowed head. He felt the press of her soft lips on the skin exposed at his neck. “You are doing everything right and there is no one else I’d rather be stuck on a dead planet with. I hear you, when you talk to me and I still feel your love every day. It’s just going to take time for both of us to heal. You can’t expect us to just bounce back, either one of us. We still have burns from the radiation on our skin, and he left scars on our hearts. I can’t apologize enough, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep him safe, for you, for us.” 

He lifted his head off his hand and pulled her around into his arms, dropping the radio in the process, tears in his eyes. “Clarke, please stop apologizing. It’s not your fault, you didn’t know.  _ We _ didn’t know. I just need you to know you're okay. I just need you to talk to me.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I will try, Bell. I can’t promise anything but I will try. And Bell, I love you.”

He buried his head into her neck, tears dripping onto her shoulder. “I love you too, Princess.” He felt her tears falling on his neck as they clung to each other. 

\------------

They rumbled across the dead land in the rover, his hand running gently across her thigh. The feel of wind was biting across her still healing skin. The sound of her name from her husband's lips pulled her attention from the road in front of her. He pointed to the window on her side and when she looked out the window the deadly world was threatening them again. The grey clouds of an electric storm chased them as she pressed her foot to the gas, racing away from it, trying to stay ahead of the lightning. 

The storm gradually turned away from them as they rolled on towards Polis. Bellamy took over after they stopped for lunch and when they finally came upon the ruined city his foot came off the gas and the rover came to a stop just outside the city. She turned her eyes to her husband. “Bellamy?” 

He shook his head as he turned his eyes to her. “It’s just so,” he trailed off as his eyes turned the ruins around them. “It’s so gone.” 

She reached out to rest her hand on his arm, and he turned his helpless eyes back to her, his hand coming to rest on the one she had laid on his. He moved his hands back to wheel and pressed his foot back to the gas and started to move through the ruined city. When their path was they parked the rover and climbed out, she reached out for his hand as they started the trek through the crumbling buildings. 

He threaded his fingers through hers as they searched out the opening to the bunker that housed their people. Though it wasn’t long before they discovered that there was no way to open it on their own at least right now, not without extensive excavation that they didn’t have the tools to do. Their trip to Mount Weather the next day was similarly unsuccessful though the sound of the turbines could be heard humming under the ground beneath their feet. 

\------------

_ “Day 125, Wells, I don’t know if you can hear me but we found some green land today. Wait until you see this place. It's like the death wave jumped over the entire valley. Unfortunately, the radiation didn't. I've lost track of how many bodies we've burned since reaching the ground. God, this would be so much easier if I knew you were alive, if I knew I was gonna see you again, but ignore me. Geez, positive thoughts, Clarke. We also found a young girl and Bellamy chased her, running right into a bear trap. She’s a smart child, she took off running but I noticed her later in the day stalking our camp.  _

_ “We are going to try and get further into Eden. That’s what we are calling it but we have to wait for Bellamy to heal a little bit. We set out some dinner for the girl. I hope we can gain her trust. Maybe I can still make up for the loss of our boy. Did I tell you we named him Augustus. We would have called him Gus for short. But maybe this child needs us, we can still save this one. _

_ “Bellamy and I are finally doing better, healing. And I don’t just mean the radiation burns, we are finally healing from the loss of our baby. We’ve done a lot of talking lately and we are going to try again, for a baby I mean. I’m sure that grosses you out, the thought of me having sex with anyone, but that is how babies are made, you know. It feels good to laugh again, even if it’s at your expense. I know you worry about me but Bellamy is taking care of me and we are going to try and take care of the demon spawn that was left on earth with us.” _

\------------

He gritted his teeth as Clarke ran the wire stitches up his leg, sewing together the skin just as efficiently as his mother had stitched together their clothing while growing up. He hissed another breath out between his teeth as she grabbed another bite of mangled flesh. “Demon spawn. That’s what the child is.” He hissed out and she laughed, he sent a playful glare her way. 

“Bellamy, she’s all alone in this world. We are the only people she’s seen in almost 6 months and clearly she’s a natural nightblood, like you and your flamekeepers didn’t know about her. So she can’t have been allowed out into the world very often before the end of it. I’m not surprised she is scared and clever.” She pulled the final stitch through his skin and set aside her tools, but she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. “We have to help her. It's the way for me to atone for Gus. I know you say it’s not my fault but I still feel like it's my fault.” 

He sat up and cupped her face. “Clarke,” He trailed off, running his thumb across her cheek. He pulled her face closer to him and pressed his lips against hers. “Okay. You’re right.” He whispered against her lips. She pulled back and started to wrap his leg up and he rubbed a hand down her arm. Her eyes flickered up to him. “I love you, Clarke.”

She smiled prettily at him, “I love you too.” She pulled his pant leg back down before running her hand up his leg.

He started to pull her towards him until he saw a flash of wild brown hair out the corner of his eye. “Don’t look now,” He whispered against her lips. “But I think we have an audience.” 

He felt a smile pull up her lips against his. “Maybe we shouldn’t give a six year old a show.” She whispered back. 

He chuckled before he leaned back onto his hands. “Kom op hir, goufa. Oso na nou bash op yu.” the surprised child skittered out of his eyeline. “Oso yu don dina gon yu.” 

“Luring the child with food?” Clarke laughed at him, her head falling against his still bent knee. “That’s what we’ve come to?” 

He felt light in ways he wasn’t sure they would ever feel again, in ways he hadn’t felt since they’d escaped Polis after the wedding. He laughed with her as she giggled, ignoring the pain in his leg he pulled her towards his chest. The small wild-haired child was still watching them as they laughed incessantly, as if they’d lost their mind. He watched her from the corner of his eye as they continued to laugh, he watched her as she crept closer. “Shh. Don’t look now but I think she’s coming closer.” He whispered, with laughter in his voice, his lips pressed to her ear from where her head rested against his chest.

\------------

  
It took days before they could convince the small girl to come near their camp, though she never seemed to have a problem taking the food they’d offered once they feigned sleep at night or gone off to explore or fish during the day; gone to clear out the dead and offer them grounder burial rites as quickly as they could.

Madi, as they now knew her, was an effervescent joy to their lives. In the weeks she’d been with them, they’d learned a lot about her and the things she’d had to do to survive out of the eyes of the flamekeepers. The tiny child had lived the majority of her short life hiding in a hole in their floor anytime someone new came to the village. So they decided to live in another house, a house that Madi had told them was empty before the world ended. 

“Madi! Bell!” Clarke called out from the house where she was making breakfast. She could see the small child and her husband, through the window above the counter, the laughter on Bellamy’s face set her heart skittering in her chest. “Time for breakfast.”

The giggling mess of a girl came crashing through the door followed quickly by Bellamy, who wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her off the ground and swung her around as he pressed his lips to her neck sending her own giggles floating on the wind even as she chastised him. Madi danced around them glee written all over her face.

“kei, ai natblida gou gon choj op bilaik dina” Bellamy set her down and turned to the young girl that shared their home. He chased her giggling towards the table as Clarke followed with their breakfast. 

The little girl chattered excitedly about all the stuff her and Bellamy had been doing that morning while Clarke had done her chores. Bellamy’s hand fell on her leg to run along her thigh. His bright smile turned towards Madi. The joy that they might have known with their own child still twinged in her chest sometimes when she watched them together, though the guilt felt lighter somehow since Madi had joined their band of renegades. 

She turned her face towards her husband and away from the still restless little girl who bounced in her seat as she shoveled food into her face. Bellamy’s grin was wide when he met her eyes, his hand still trailing up and down her leg. 

“Are you guys going to kiss?” Madi shouted, throwing her little hands over her eyes. “If you are, Ai laik going gon fish raun.”

“English, Madi.” She chastised gently as she broke the heated gaze from her husband. “You are going fishing, Madi. That’s what you were trying to say.” 

“Yes, yes. Can I go?” She danced in her seat and they both laughed before sending the wild child out the door. 

Bellamy pulled her into his lap, his lips pressing to the back of her neck, pulling another giggle from her. “Now that our feral child is out of the house, want to sneak off to our bedroom for dessert?” 

“Mmhmm.” she turned in his arms and pressed her lips against his. 

“Ahhh!” Madi’s scream had them jumping apart. “My eyes!”

“Seems we haven’t gotten rid of her.” She whispered, pressing her forehead against his shoulder as they all laughed. “Okay, my wild child. Let’s go fishing.” 

\------------

He was beginning to think he could get used to their lives as they were. Days spent wandering with Madi as they explored and trained. Nights spent loving his wife. In the five months since they’d found Madi they’d created their own little world within Eden. 

He’d watched with worry as Clarke started puking several times a day, the exhaustion that had her napping throughout the day for weeks before she set his heart at ease and simultaneously soaring with joy when she said she was pregnant again or at least she was pretty sure she was, but unless they wanted to run to Becca’s lab she couldn’t confirm that.

He watched as her belly started to round, barely noticeable at first. He watched her growing life within her as she glowed with happiness, as their wild child flourished with the news of a new life that would be joining them. 

Until everything changed, things that had him once again picking up the radio and calling out to one of her best friends. “Wells, it’s Bellamy.” He sighed, adjusting the slumbering child against his side. “I used to think that life was about more than just surviving, but I'm not sure anymore. Animals don't feel guilty when they kill. They just do it. They kill, or they get killed. I tell myself that every life I took was for a reason, but the truth is, the other side had reasons, too. Their reasons to want us dead were the same as ours. It was us or them, kill or be killed, simple as that. So what now? Do we pay for all the sins we committed? Do our loved ones?”

He sighed, pressing his lips against Madi’s hair. “Do our children pay the price for what we’ve done? Because I don’t know if Clarke can take another loss. I wish you were here. I wish anyone was here. She won’t look at me, she won’t get out of bed and I don’t know what to do. Madi is upset and I don’t know how to help either of them.”

He dropped the radio receiver and hugged the small girl even tighter before picking her up and moving her to her bed, laying down and huddling around her as tears fell from his eyes.

\------------

_ “Day 305, Murphy, I was pregnant again, but we lost this one. Maybe it’s me, I killed my babies. Madi doesn’t understand. She thought she was going to have a baby to play with. I don’t know how to tell her. Bellamy is so strong, and so caring. He was great, again. Bellamy took Madi out fishing while I cleaned up.  _

_ “The baby was too small, too deformed to be able to tell if it would have been a boy or a girl, but the umbilical cord had red blood again. Maybe none of our babies will ever live. Maybe my synthetic nightblood is killing our kids, or maybe it’s the increased radiation. I still can’t help but wonder if this is my punishment for all the lives I took. _

_ “I wish you were here. We’ve been telling Madi about everyone. You are her favorite for some reason. Clearly she gets her poor taste from Bellamy.” _

“Clarke?” The small voice cut across the darkened room where she laid. She turned to the open door.

“Madi? Are you okay?” Instead of getting a reply she felt the weight of the child crawling into bed with her.

Madi snuggled into her side and she wrapped her arms around her little girl. Wondering, not for the first time, when she started considering the girl as hers. She felt Bellamy shift to wrap around her and Madi as she stroked the small girl’s hair. She pressed her lips to Madi’s forehead and she felt Bellamy’s hand lazily stroke Madi’s arm. “Madi?” Bellamy’s voice was still heavy with sleep.

She felt Madi’s head shake against her collarbone. “Madi, what’s the matter?”

“Nnhnn.” She pressed her head deeper into Clarke’s chest, refusing to answer. 

“Madi, we can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.” Bellamy cajoled and she felt the tears dripping from the little girl onto her clothes. She felt the slight press of Bellamy’s lips on her shoulder. 

Clarke ran her hand over Madi's hair again, attempting to pull her face away from her chest. “Madi, baby, tell us what is wrong.” 

She felt rather than heard the sob rip from Madi and Bellamy pulled them both in tighter. They waited in silence for a moment while their little girl - their little, strong, joyful girl - sobbed in their arms, pressing herself tighter against Clarke. 

Her tiny voice finally spoke up, muffled from being pressed so tightly against Clarke. “Did I do something wrong? Am I why you lost the baby? Is it my fault you are so sad?”

“Oh, Madi, no. No, baby it's not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. These things just happen sometimes.” Clarke said, trying to bite back her own sob as she curled tighter around Madi, Bellamy mimicking her movements. She could feel his own tears warm on her back. They laid curled around one other offering the only comfort they could.

“Clarke, tell me a story. Tell me about your people, please?” Madi’s tear-soaked voice asked, after her sobs quieted down.

She pressed her lips to the little girl's forehead again as she tucked her tighter to her body. “Okay, who do you want to hear about tonight?”

“Tell me about Murphy.” She felt the wet laughter of her husband against her back as she started to tell Murphy’s story, her own voice still thick with tears. 

\------------

_ “Day 537, Octavia. I don’t know how to take care of your brother in this empty world. I know you’re probably surprised that I am even calling you, but we’ve been alone so long now and we’ve lost two babies and I don’t know how to help him.  _

_ “If I’m being honest, I don’t know how to help myself. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to hold us together. It’s been over six months since we lost our baby and it's still hard. This world is so hard. So, so hard. If it wasn’t for Madi. I don’t know if either of us would be able to get out of bed in the morning and I don’t know how to help him.  _

_ “But don’t worry, we aren’t giving up yet. It’s just hard and I’m so sorry for not taking better care of him. You have an amazing brother and I don’t deserve him. I’m sorry.” _

\------------

_ “Day 769, Wells! We saw our first land mammal. We are still exclusively fishing, trying to let them repopulate. Madi loves chess. She can’t wait to play against you. She wanted me to tell you that today.  _

_ “Tell your dad we found another bunker, just beyond the step 11 bunker we found. There were some rations and guns and other weapons. We are doing better. I think we are doing better Wells. So don’t worry about us any more, okay? I love you Wells, tell my mom that I love her too. Be strong for Octavia.” _

Madi danced in front of them, her long hair twirling wildly, “I'm just saying, Octavia's a beast. Don't worry. We'll get them out of that bunker.” The dust of the dead world floated around her feet. 

Clarke swung Bellamy’s hand as they trailed after Madi, catching the soft smile that played on his face as they followed their daughter. “Of course we will.” Clarke said, her own smile turned towards her husband. Bellamy pulled her hand up to his lips as he hummed his agreement. 

Madi twirled to a stop as she looked up at the dusky sky, the dirt from their work digging up Polis still smudged across her forehead. She turned her eyes back to Clarke. “I'm sorry they left without you.”

Clarke pulled Madi into her body when they neared her. “Well, I'm not because if we were with them, we never would have met you.”

“What about them?” Madi asked as she wrapped the arm that wasn’t around Clarke, around Bellamy. “Do you think they'll come back, too?”   
  


She watched Bellamy’s hand brush the hair back off Madi’s face as he answered, “They have every reason to come back. They will want to meet you. I guarantee it.”

Madi seemed to accept that at face value and she pulled away from the two of them and started to dance away towards the rover. Her hand slipped back into Bellamy’s as they started to follow their daughter to head back home for the night. 

\------------

_ “Day 989, Mom? Can you hear me? Madi was sick last night, just a fever and a slight cough. We sat up with her all night. Did you do that for me when I was little? I can’t remember any more. It seems like that was another lifetime. Like I was a different person.  _

_ “I wish you were here. I wish my daughter had a better doctor, better medicine. Bellamy reminds of Dad. The way he is with her. It’s like he is channeling dad. I wish you could see it. He is such a good man, Mom. I want to try again for another baby. I think I’m finally ready but I’m so scared, Mom.  _

_ “I wish you were here.” _

He laid in bed with his naked wife wrapped in his arms. Her head laid on his chest as he stroked her hair. He could feel from her breath across his chest that she was still awake. He pressed a light kiss to her forehead before he shifted to get more comfortable and pulled her tighter into his body. 

“I want to try again, Bell.” Her words were whisper quiet. “I want to try again for a baby. I think I need to try again.” 

He ran his hand through her hair for a moment, contemplating her words. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, turning her head up to look at him. A soft ‘yeah’ falling off her lips as he turned his eyes down to meet hers. He ran his hand over her hair one more time, his thumb coming to rest softly on the skin under her eye as he studied her face. “You sure?” He asked again and she nodded again. “Okay. We can try again.” 

“Now?” She smiled at him as her fingers danced across his chest. 

He laughed as his hand landed on her dancing fingers. “Again?”

“Yeah,” She leaned up and pressed her lips to his. “Except this time you get to stay in me. You can finish inside me.”   
  


He laughed again for a moment before he crushed his lips to her and pulled her over top of him, and they got lost in a tangle of limbs.

\------------

_ “Day 1352, Murphy? Are you going crazy in space? I feel like I’m going crazy down here with just Bellamy and Madi. They are so much alike, and she looks so much like him except for the blue eyes. She really could be our daughter.  _

_ “I thought I might be pregnant again. Am I horrible for hoping that I wasn’t? I wasn’t. I know you don’t want to hear this but I got my period and I was so grateful. I don’t know if I could handle another loss. I know I told him I was ready and I thought I was. I mean I hope I am. This world isn't getting more populated anytime soon. But I’m so scared. What do I do, Murphy? _

_ “Madi is asking for siblings though. She asked if I could be her mother today. Bellamy said she asked him to be her father yesterday. She really is our baby girl, isn’t she?  _

_ “She is still confused though, she still says you are her favorite.” _

“Nomon!” Her now 10 year old little girl came bursting through the door of their house. “Nontu told me to bring you these!”

With a flourish Madi tossed her a bundle of flowers at Clarke before running back out the door. “Madi!” Clarke yelled after her daughter. “What are you two up to today?”

“Can’t tell! We will see you later.” Madi yelled back as she took back off to the woods in search of her Father. 

Clarke shook her head with a smile as she put the flower in a glass of water before setting them on the dinner table. She pulled out her sketchbook and started to sketch her daughter and husband, what she pictured them out in the woods doing. 

\------------

_ “Day 2087, Wells, I’m pregnant again. I’m so scared. I haven’t told Bellamy yet. I’m scared to get his hopes up. I know I’m not going to have a choice here soon. Nausea is setting in more frequently and I can’t be more than a few weeks, but he's going to notice eventually even if I don’t tell him. I wish you were here, we are still trying to figure out how to get you out from under the towers. I’m hoping that we can figure it out before the baby comes, if this one makes it. I could really use my best friend. _

_ “You and Murphy are going to have to duke it out for godparent rights. You’re already starting from behind, Madi loves Murphy. I’m pretty sure he’s her idol. _

_ “I feel more positive this time but I’m still so scared. Everything in Eden looks like it did before praimfaya. We caught our first deer last night, and by we I mean Bellamy and Madi. She’s grown so much. She was asking me again to let her dye her hair. When did my baby girl get so big?” _

“Hey, wash up.” Clarke called out to her husband and child. “It's time for supper.”

“Nomon, look, the berries are ripe.” Madi held out a handful of bright red berries. 

She nodded as Bellamy raised his eyebrow at her in laughter. “That's nice. Come on, dinner time.”

“Clarke, you promised.” Madi stomped her foot as Clarke turned her back to move their dinner to the table. “Last season, there weren't enough, but this year, they're everywhere.”

Bellamy attempted to cover up his laughter with a cough as he turned away to wash his own hands. She elbowed him lightly as she passed him. Clarke opened her mouth to respond but before she could, Madi jumped in with her hands out. “Please? I'll clean up for a week!”

Clarke raised her eyebrow, “Two weeks.” 

Madi squealed as she danced around excitedly. “Deal!”

Clarke shared a look with Bellamy as they laughed at her excitement. “Okay, Madi, time to clean up for dinner. I have an announcement to make.”

“Ugh.” Madi groaned dramatically. “Are we going to be fixing another house? Because last time you had an announcement we spent two weeks fixing a house and that was booooring.”

Clarke laughed. “No we aren’t fixing another but now that you mention it.”

“No, no, no!” Madi laughed as she sat in her seat next to a giggling Bellamy. “Forget I said anything.”

Clarke reached out to grab Bellamy’s hand, her nerves shook her hands and Bellamy’s laughter died out as he felt the tremor. She let out a deep breath, to steady herself. “Okay, I don’t want to get too excited but I think I'm pregnant.”

She held her breath while they digested the information. Bellamy’s eyes were hopeful as they shared a look. When they looked over at Madi she looked as scared as she felt. “What if the same thing happens as last time. It’ll be my fault because.” Her sweet daughter started to cry. “Because I asked for siblings.” 

She sat stunned as Bellamy got up out of the seat and wrapped his arms around their daughter’s shoulders. “No, Madi. Even if something did happen, it would never be your fault. Your mother and I, well, we had discussed this even before you asked for a sibling.” He cut his eyes towards Clarke. “Right, Clarke?”

The sound of her name got her moving as she stood up to reassure her daughter. “He’s right Madi. If anything were to happen to this baby, it would never be your fault. Besides, we don’t even if anything is going to happen. Maybe nothing will go wrong with this pregnancy and you will have a healthy baby brother or sister. And the ground radiation levels are safe for people who don’t have night blood.” 

Madi nodded. “Okay. Then I’ll be hopeful.” 

\------------

_ “Here we go again. Murphy, if you can hear me, you're alive. It's been 2,199 days since Praimfaya. I don't know why I still do this every day. Maybe it's my way of staying sane, not forgetting who I am who I was. _

_ “It's been safe for you to come down for over a year now. Why haven't you? The bunker's gone silent, too. We tried digging them out for a while, but there was too much rubble. I haven't made contact with them, either. Anyway, I still have hope. So far this baby is still inside of me, we are almost half way and I’m definitely showing. Madi is excited to be a sister, Bellamy is excited to be a father again.  _

_ “I’m still scared, I still wish my best friends were here. You and Wells need to be here. Tell Raven to aim for the one spot of green, and you'll find us. The rest of the planet, from what I've seen, basically sucks, so -” _

__

She turned her head up to the sky, her hand not holding the radio rested on the bump of her unborn child. 

“ _Never mind._ _I see you.”_

Clarke turned to shake her husband’s leg “It's time to wake up.” Madi shifted under her father’s arm as he started to wake. “Madi, hand me my rifle now.”

She hurried to the ridge line, her husband supporting her as she knelt down. Her daughter handed her the gun and she sighted down the scope. 

“We're here! We're here!” Madi called her hands waving wildly.

“Stop.” she called out, her eyes catching Bellamy’s. “Get down. I don’t think it's them. I want you to back up the Rover. Get it out of sight and load the guns.”

Madi turned back to the two of them with surprise, “All of them?”

“All of them.” She nodded, her hand reaching out to grab Bellamy’s as she watched Madi take off. “It’s not them, unless they collided with another ship and took their drop ship, but I don’t think that’s the case. What if they are dead? Or, what if these people want to hurt us?”

She turned worried eyes up to her husband as he pulled her to his chest. “Everything is going so well with this baby. I can’t lose another one.”

“Clarke, I won’t let anyone hurt you or this baby.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I promise.” 

She nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Princess.”

They pulled back away from the ridge and climbed into the rover to grab some guns. “Who are they? Why are you so scared?” Madi asked, her eyes wide.

“We will not let anything happen to you.” Clarke pulled Madi to her chest, the baby kicking against the press of their sibling. “Do you understand?”

Madi nodded against her, “Well, maybe they're friendly.”

“Maybe.” Clarke pulled her tighter as Bellamy's hand came to rest against her lower back. She looked up over Madi’s head to meet Bellamy’s eyes. “Look. Until I figure this out, I want you to hide in your secret spot.”

“No. Clarke,” Clarke felt Madi shake her head against her chest. 

Bellamy cut off Madi’s protests. “This is not up for discussion, Madi. The Flamekeeper scouts never found you there. Neither will they.” 

Clarke leaned back into his strong hand that still laid against her back as she pulled her daughter away from her chest to look into her eyes. “Promise me you'll stay in the hole.”

Madi’s eyes darted back and forth between Bellamy and herself. “What about you guys?”

Clarke smoothed Madi’s hair off her face. “We will come back as soon as we can. Now promise me.” 

“I promise.” Madi nodded, her worried eyes looking at the guns on both of their hips. “If you shoot, they'll hear you and what about the baby.”

Clarke pressed a kiss to Madi’s forehead before pulling away from her. “I'll make sure it's my only choice. Your father will keep us safe. Now go.”

She shared a worried look with Bellamy before turning back to watch their daughter take off into the woods. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, what do you think?
> 
> If you noticed any mistakes please let me know. I tired to triple check my work before posting but brain damage does funny things.


	32. A Smile That Steals me, A Heart That Heals Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madi’s terrified voice, calling for her, chased her as she dropped off the hill into the clearing. Raising her gun again she fired at one of the men, the bullet that hit his knee toppled him to the ground. She fired again at the third man that was in the clearing. He dodged the bullet and tackled her to the ground, his arm banding around her neck as they wrestled for control. She scrabbled at his arms as she tried to free herself for a moment before she heard the clicking of a gun being cocked. She turned her eyes up to her daughter’s only to see her daughter’s shaky hand pull the trigger and the man behind her fell away from her, dead.

Clarke watched, through the scope for her gun, as one person in body armor walked down the ramp of the ship, their face covered in a mask and oxygen strapped to their back. She watched as the person looked around slowly before taking off the mask and revealed a woman, her face impassive. 

It wasn’t long before more people were coming down the ramp. “Bellamy, they all have guns.” They shared a long look before sighting down their scopes again. “They are splitting up.”

Bellamy pulled Clarke back, helping her to her feet. “We have to get to the cave and get more weapons, then you go back for Madi and I’ll follow the bigger group.”

Clarke leaned against his chest, her hands running worriedly over the bump that carried her child. She rested her chin on his sternum as he ran his hands up and down her back soothingly. “I’m scared, Bell.”

He pressed his lips to hers gently. “I know, I am too, Clarke.” He sighed pulling back from her. “But our daughter is out there all alone and those people are armed to the teeth. We need to get moving. I need you to promise me that you will keep our children safe.” 

Her hands grabbed for his and laid them over her belly, pressing them against their dancing child. “I promise, but I need you to be careful too. I can’t do this without you, Bell.”

“I will. Now let’s go.” Nodding she followed her husband as they took off towards the cave. 

After loading up on guns and swords they shared a brief kiss before taking off after the groups of men. Clarke’s pulse pounded in her ears as she covered the ground as quickly as she could. The sound of a gunshot ringing in her ears as she neared the group of men she was supposed to be following, quickened her feet. 

She could hear the indistinct arguing of the men as she jumped over a log, sprinting up the hill to get to higher ground. Fear almost choked her when she saw how roughly they were handling her daughter, one of the men argued for her little girl to be left alone but she couldn’t take any chances. She lifted her gun and fired, dropping one man quickly. 

Madi’s terrified voice, calling for her, chased her as she dropped off the hill into the clearing. Raising her gun again she fired at one of the men, the bullet that hit his knee toppled him to the ground. She fired again at the third man that was in the clearing. He dodged the bullet and tackled her to the ground, his arm banding around her neck as they wrestled for control. She scrabbled at his arms as she tried to free herself for a moment before she heard the clicking of a gun being cocked. She turned her eyes up to her daughter’s only to see her daughter’s shaky hand pull the trigger and the man behind her fell away from her, dead. 

She jumped up to her feet and gathered her little girl to her chest. “Hey, it's ok, baby. Nomon’s here.” 

Madi’s little fingers clutched the fabric of her shirt around her waist. Clarke soothed her child for a moment before the sound of a strangled moan had her pushing Madi behind her as she raised her gun to the wounded man on the ground. She leveled her gun at him. 

“Wait.” Madi pressed her hand to Clarke’s back. “He tried to help me. I think he might be a good guy.”

Clarke risked a glance back at her daughter. “There are no good guys. And I can’t take that risk if it means keeping us safe.” She pulled the trigger, killing him. 

\------------

Bellamy’s heart was in his throat as he heard the sound of more gunshots ringing off in the distance in the direction his daughter was supposed to be hidden. He knew that the sound meant that she’d been in trouble and Clarke was in danger. He wanted desperately to leave his hiding spot and race off after his girls but the sheer volume of people that were ransacking their home had him rooted. 

He watched as the woman called out to her people and it eased his heart momentarily when she got no response. 

When the dark skinned man asked her what the lack of response meant, he thought she might have seen him as she turned her eyes in his direction as she said. “Means we're not alone.”

He watched as she told them to keep their eyes up as they marched off towards the gunshot sounds. He pulled back, further into the trees before slinking off. He watched them slowly exit the camp, one man lingering gave him an idea. He moved as quietly as he could, flanking the distracted man. He knocked him out, quickly hefting him over his shoulders before he made his way towards a clearing that was very near where the group was heading but that would have them veering away from where his daughter was hopefully still hidden. 

He impaled the man on one of the many tree traps they had hidden all around their forest in Eden. The pain pulled the man from unconsciousness, his gasping breath had him silent for just long enough for Bellamy to pull away and hide in trees. Bellamy held his breath as the man started screaming. 

His daughter’s little feet skidded to a halt next to him as she crouched down behind him. He dared a moment to look behind him, noticing that Clarke was nowhere to be seen. 

“Where is your mother?” He asked quietly. 

“She said she was going to circle the area, make sure there weren’t any more stragglers.” Madi said as she crouched down behind him. “Nontu, this isn't right.”

He looked at her, quickly. “Madi, I know that this is our home, and they want to take it from us. That isn’t right.”

She looked back sadly. “But he doesn't have to suffer. We can kill him now, right?”

“Not yet.” He turned back to the scope. He watched as they hesitantly left the woods to see to their struggling man, just as he knew they would. He knew they weren’t trained warriors by the fact that the helpless man hadn’t stayed close on his commander’s heels as she left the village. 

He fired off a round into one of the enemy’s heads, dropping him and felling the rest of the men as their eyes searched for him. He cocked the gun a second time, intending to pick off a few more if he could before he felt the overwhelming jolt as something collided with the rock they were hidden behind. Knocking both of them off their feet. 

“Madi.” He called out, not hearing her respond sent panic through his chest. “Madi? Madi, are you OK?”

He watched her eyes flutter as she nodded. “Get up.” He said quietly as he could with the spike of fear that had him scrambling for his feet, hauling Madi up as well. “Run! Run.”

They tore off into the trees behind them, his eyes taking in the surrounding as they ran, trying to pull up a mental map of where they were. He veered off to the left as he spotted a good spot to hide his daughter. “Right here. You need to get in here.”

“Not without you.” Madi pleaded as she clutched at his sleeve.

He shook his head, pressing a gun to her hands. “There's no time to argue about this, Madi. Get in, now. I'm gonna lead them away. Now I need you to stay out of sight, no matter what, okay? And if I’m not back by nightfall meet your mother at the cave. You know that’s where she will be looking for us. Promise me.”

He wiped the tears that trailed down her face as she nodded. “I love you. Now hide.”

He spared her only a moment to make sure she was hidden before he took off to the trees making as much noise as he could. 

\------------

There were many times in Clarke’s life that she regretted her decisions but getting captured by these people while she was supposed to be keeping her unborn child safe was one that she regretted before it even happened. Her eyes moved quickly over the trees as she hoped that her husband and daughter were safe, that they were trying to come up with a way to get them out of this. 

The green capped man shoved her to the ground as he called out to the woman they’d seen exiting the ship earlier that day. “We got one.”

“Let me see her face.” The woman commanded. When the man pulled her head up by her hair the woman was just as stone faced as she had been when she unmasked herself. 

The dark skinned man, who she noticed was dressed differently than the others, moved closer. His face angry as he spoke to the man who held her.“You only caught one?”

“We only saw one.” The man who held her responded.

“I highly doubt she was alone.” The dark skinned man hissed at the woman.

Clarke’s heart dropped as the woman eyed her. This woman was smart and that made her more dangerous than anything. “How many others in the woods?” She looked towards the capped man who’d only just let her go. 

His hand stung as he backhanded her. He kneeled in front of her for a moment before a sinister smile rose on his lips and he leaned closer, venom dripping from his words. “Answer the question.”

Clarke held her tongue, hoping that her silence would buy her some time. She prayed that they wouldn’t notice the bump under her clothing and that would keep her child and herself safe while she tried to find a way out of there. But her silence only seemed to anger the man in front of her. His hand cocked back and she braced for the pain she knew was coming. 

“Not yet.” The woman’s voice surprised her. Clarke looked up at her and something about the look on her face had her more scared than she’d been when she had known the pain from a beating was coming, had her wishing that they would just beat her and get it over with. “First we pray.”

Her eyes caught the dark skinned man’s eyes and terror flooded her. The angry man that clung to her, manhandled her into one of the buildings as she struggled. He forced her into a chair, tying her down as others took their places around the room. She kept her teeth gritted as he ran his fingers delicately over her face. When he made a grab for the jacket that was keeping her child hidden she hissed at him before she tried to bite him, her teeth snapping together inches from his face as he jumped away slightly. 

He grinned as he pulled away from her, his hand cocking back before making contact with her chin. “Hey, hey, stop!” The dark skinned man yelled as he pulled the capped man off of her. “We need her.”

The capped man surged into the dark skinned man’s space, his hands going for the other man’s throat. 

“Hey! Enough!” The woman shouted as she attempted to pull the men apart. No one else came to her aide. “That's enough.”

Clarke watched as the capped man met the woman’s eyes almost seeming to gentle before he let go of the other man. He paced away before turning back on her. “He is not one of us. We lose four men, and he doesn't even care.”

The woman shook her head and Clarke knew if she wasn’t there the woman would have sighed in exasperation as she had so long ago when trying to get Murphy to work with her instead of against her. “He is one of us. None of us is here without Shaw.”

The man she now knew as Shaw looked at her, she could feel his eyes examining her face but her eyes didn’t stray from the woman and the capped man. “None of us is here without me, either.” The capped man argued. “You remember that.”

The woman grabbed at the capped man’s armor, pulling him in close and her words were hissed through her teeth. “We all have a role to play and we're all upset about the loss of our men.” She shook him slightly. “Take a team and sweep the woods for her friends.”

The capped man shoulder checked Shaw as he left and Shaw moved to follow him, anger written all over his face before the woman called after him to ‘let it go’, halting his feet. She watched as the woman paced around her before she felt the woman’s hand grab her chin. The ache from her fingers remind her of the man’s fist meeting her face either. 

She felt the woman’s thumb swipe at her lower lip before she pulled back, showing her fingers to Shaw. “You see this?”

“Blood alteration like they had on Eligius III.” She watched as they both looked at her black blood on the woman’s fingers. “Two suns, no sunscreen needed.”

“Must be how they survived down here.” The woman said before bringing a radio up to her lips. “Bring me a med kit. Over.”

She watched as the woman clipped the radio to her hip, ignoring the chatter that flew over it. But Clarke couldn’t ignore it as she listened to them discussing their search of her woods. The woman watched her as she settled a chair in front of Clarke. 

Her intelligent dark eyes scoured her face as she sat back in the chair, folding her hands over her waist. “We got off on the wrong foot, you and I. We had no idea that there was anyone alive down here. How could we have? We were just trying to get back home. Imagine our surprise when we found that there was no home to get back to.”

Clarke looked up to Shaw’s face for a moment, his saddened eyes had her turning back towards the woman as she continued her monologue. “And then your people started killing mine. Surely you can understand why I'm upset. Just like you were upset when we took your village. I don't blame you. When a fascist government tried to take my home, I wanted blood, too, and I got it.”

Clarke tried to listen to the chatter that continued on the radio, praying that she wouldn’t hear anything about her family being captured, but she still refused to say anything. The woman watched her for a moment before she continued. “Nobody else has to die today. You tell me what I need to know, and we can come up with an arrangement that works for all of us. Sound like a plan?”

“Maybe she doesn't speak English.” Shaw interjected as he sat himself on the table behind the woman. 

“She speaks English. She just wants us to think she doesn't so we'll speak freely and reveal

something she can use against us.” The woman studied her face and Clarke tried to keep her face blank. “Every time the patrol checks in she looks at this.” 

The woman grabbed for the radio at her waist, waving it at Shaw before continuing. “She's tracking our movements; that's all she cares about.” She leaned down towards Clarke. “You don't want to talk, that's fine. Don't talk. But we'll see how you feel when we find whoever it is you're protecting.”   
  
Clarke watched the woman bring the radio to her lips, a sinister smile curving her lips as she said. “Change of plans, ladies and gentlemen. No more prisoners. Shoot to kill.” Fear flooded her as she set her lips. 

\------------

He settled against the tree above the invaders, his breath stuttering in his chest as he listened to them calling out their position to someone back at camp. His home. Two of their people looked between each other before hanging back from the group ahead of them. 

He jumped across to another tree, following the two stragglers. When they paused by his daughter’s favorite patch of berries, he tied himself to the tree with the bungee straps like so many Trikru warriors before himself. It took him only moments to snatch one of the men below him, hauling him into the trees and slitting his throat. 

He watched the man below him turning around to look for his friend and when he called out to the rest of the group Bellamy dropped the dead man, untied himself and took off. His heart eased in his chest at the sound of their panic. 

It took him hours before he found another group of men. He noticed that the groups still out were smaller than the one he’d followed earlier in the day. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or not. He slithered through the copse of trees as he neared them. He could see the way they wandered around, only a few paying attention as he had noticed all morning. Moving on quiet feet he grabbed a man from the side, slicing his neck before shoving him back towards his friends and taking off into the trees again. 

Until the hours drifted by bringing the dusk, he stalked the men in the forest, trying to scare them the way his people had scared Clarke’s when they first landed. Only this time it was different, they had gone after his daughter, he’d heard the gunshots and that was something he could not forgive. His people may be trapped in the ground but he was still Heda and he would protect his people, his _family_. 

\------------

Shaw walked over to her, away from the fire where his commander stood and offered her some water. She thought about spitting it back in his face as he kneeled in front of her but the fluttering of her child in her womb reminded her that she needed to keep herself as safe as she could.

Shaw’s face was kind as he watched her. “Come on. What harm can come from telling me your name?” He sighed as he stood back up. “Well, believe it or not, this is the best conversation I've had in over a hundred years.”

Her eyes shot up to his wondering how was that possible. He looked not much older than she was herself. He sat down in the chair his commander had vacated earlier in the day. “I was an altar boy in a church just like this. Saginaw, about two hours outside Detroit. On my Harley, I'd make it in one. God, I miss that bike, more than I miss most of the people.”

The sound of someone calling over the radio had her eyes cutting back to it where it rested on the table. Shaw’s eyes roamed her face as she listened to their people talking about someone racing away from a cave and her heart dropped. When they said that the thing was little, she knew it had to be Madi. She hoped that Bellamy was out there looking for their little girl. She knew that he was out there doing something because at least two of their men had failed to check in over the course of the hours she’d been held captive. 

She couldn’t keep silent when the man said they had a shot. “No. She's just a child.”

“She speaks.” The woman said as she paced closer. Shaw’s face was tight with worry as he watched her, surprising her. 

“Please.” She begged. 

The woman eyed her. “How many others are in the woods?”

“None. It's just the two of us.” Her eyes flickered back and forth between the woman and Shaw. She felt tears well up in her eyes.“I am begging you. Tell him not to shoot.

“Fire at will.” The woman called out and Clarke’s head slumped forward as she heaved out an unsteady breath. 

Clarke listened as they continued to chase her little girl. Madi was leading them right into a trap, her smart, brave little girl was out there all alone and who knew where her husband was. “I know where they are.That's our summer hunting grounds.She's leading them into a trap.” Clarke lifted her head to stare at the woman as she heard the men on the radio closing in on her daughter. “Listen to me. If they don't stop right now, those men will die.”

Shaw stood up and darted closer to the woman. “I believe her.”

“It's the truth.” Clarke pleaded, her eyes meeting Shaw’s. “If you let her go, I'll

tell you everything.”   
  


“All units,” Clarke held her breath as the woman eyed her. “Stand down. Over.”

She heard the men arguing against the woman over the radio as she held the woman’s eye. Lifting the radio back to her lips the woman said, “Falk, if McCreary disobeys, shoot him in the leg. Harris, if Falk disobeys, shoot him in the head.”

She breathed a sigh of relief as the man called back that they were standing down. “Good choice.” The woman called back. “There may be traps near your position. Check it out and report back. Over.”

The woman raised her eyebrow at Clarke as the men over the radio reported the bear traps. She called the men back to camp and Clarke slumped back into her chair. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for telling the truth.” The woman said, sitting in the chair Shaw had just vacated. “As long as you keep doing that, your friend in the woods will stay alive, and so will you. Do we understand each other?”

“Yes.” She nodded. 

“Good. Then let's begin.” The woman leaned towards her. “Start with how the world ended.”

Clarke eyed her quietly for a moment. “Which time?”

\------------

Bellemy’s eyes were pulled up towards the sky as he heard something booming overhead, the rocket that he’d watched take off all those years ago was returning. He took off running towards it.

His feet flew over the ground for miles. His daughter colliding with him almost took him off his feet as he tore through the trees. “Madi?” He brushed her hair out of her face once they’d untangled themselves. “Are you okay? Where is Clarke?”

She cried as she surged back into his space, her arms wrapping around his waist. “They got her. I took off towards the cave like you said and they, they caught her. I should have gone after her but there were so many of them.”

“Shh, it's okay Madi.” He pulled her back so he could look in her face. “We are going to save her, but first we have to go collect our friends, we need backup.” 

“Friends?” Madi looked confused. “I don’t understand, we’ve never been able to get into the bunker, what makes you think we can get into it now?”

“Not the bunker. Our friends from the sky. Did you hear the big boom overhead a while ago.” She nodded and he brushed the hair back off her worried face. “That was them. We have to get to them before the other people do. So we have to run, okay?” 

“Okay.” She grabbed his hand and they took off running. 

It was slower going but he couldn’t leave her behind. As they neared the area the rocket had landed he realized it was near where they’d left the rover earlier that day and for that he was thankful. 

He slowed down to a creeping walk as the edge of the forest met his eyes. He held up his hand as he signaled to be quiet. The sight of the invaders on the other edge of the clearing, had him pointing it out to his daughter. 

“Madi. We have to stop them. There is a spear in the rover, go get it. Then I want you to flank them. I need you to throw it to distract them, if you hit them great but if not don’t worry I just need their attention elsewhere while I get close.” 

She nodded. “Okay, Nontu.”

“Okay let's go get our friends and then we can save Clarke.” He sent her off as he crept in closer.

His eyes darting to the rocket to make sure they hadn’t gotten out yet. Much to his disappointment, nothing seemed to be going his way today as he watched them disembark. He listened to them as they excitedly took in the world for a moment before Murphy took the lead, heading towards the forest.

“Okay, so how do we find them?” He heard Monty ask as they closed in on the invaders. 

It was Echo who responded. “We don't. They'll find us.”

“They already have.” Murphy said as he raised his hands.

Bellamy drew his gun as he crept closer, waiting for Madi to make her move. He heard the invaders calling for them to get on their knees as Murphy tried to calm them down. The man screamed, getting impatient with Murphy. 

“No, wait!” as the man shoved his gun in Murphy’s face. “We just want to talk.”

One of the men brought a radio to his lips as Bellamy watched his friends all raise their hands, some of them starting to drop to their knees. 

\------------

Clarke shifted as she looked at the woman before beginning her tale. “On the Ark, they taught us that the war started as a Chinese first strike, but they were wrong. It was started by an A.I. called A.L.I.E. Her intention was to reduce the popu-” 

Clarke was cut off by the sound of the radio calling out for the Colonel “Colonel, we have five more hostiles. At least one is armed. Are we still playing nice?”

Her eyes darted back and forth as she tried to figure out where the other people might have come from at most they should have found only one other person. 

The woman, the colonel, raised her eyebrow in Clarke’s direction studying her. “Stand by.” She turned to the men in the room with her. “Find out where they are and reinforce their position.”

“You heard her. Grab the gear.” The green capped man said as he moved towards his own gear. 

The colonel stopped him quickly, “Not you, McCreary.” She turned back to Clarke and the man now known as McCreary moved in on her. “What did I tell you would happen if you lied to me?”

“I didn't lie. I don't know -” Clarke’s words were cut off once again, this time with the Colonel’s fist to her face. 

“Take her outside.” The Colonel said, turning to McCreary. “Use the collar.”

McCreary’s excited face had her fear spiking again. “I thought you'd never ask.”

“Colonel,” Shaw called, moving in on her as McCreary moved closer to Clarke, the metal collar gripped tightly in his excited hands. Shaw’s words had her looking back up at him for a moment, hoping that this strange man could help her. “She's cooperating.”

The colonel looked him up and down before agreeing. “Which is why she'll live. Her friends, on the other hand,” She pulled the radio back up to her lips. “Four of ours are dead. It's time to even the score.”

\------------

“Congratulations.” One of the men said after pocketing the radio. “One of you gets to live.”

Just as the man went for the trigger the spear shot out of the woods and thudded in the man’s neck, dropping him. He moved in swiftly, firing the gun, taking out the other three. 

“She's just a kid.” He heard their friends whisper to themselves as Madi cleared the trees. He followed her out into the clearing. 

“Bellamy?” Murphy asked, in disbelief. 

But Madi, bouncing on her toes, cut in before he could find his words. “Clarke knew you would come.”

“Clarke's alive?” Murphy’s eyes cut to him and he nodded. A smile pulled at Murphy’s lips.

“She's in trouble.” He said, stopping them from any further excitement. “We have to go.”

“What about the others in the bunker?” Monty asked, his eye darting between Bellamy and his daughter. 

He shook his head. “Still there.”

“What? No, no.” Monty looked at their friends, he moved in closer. “How can that be?”

Bellamy turned, “Come on, I'll explain on the way.” He turned towards his daughter, his hand outstretched as they moved quickly into the forest. 

\------------

McCreary shoved her down the steps of the building, tripping her as she started her descent and rolling her over the stairs. The ground was hard against her stomach and her fear was tangy against her tongue. She moved to sit up, her fingers attempting to wrap around the tight collar at her neck. 

“I wouldn't do that if I was you.” McCreary called, with laughter on his breath. “You might burn your fingers.”

She didn’t have time to contemplate his words as the sting of electricity was burning through her body. The pain of it halted every thought as she gasped for breath and writhed on the ground. When the sear of pain finally let up she tried to sit back on her knees, begging “Please. I wasn't lying.”

“Hit her again.” The colonel said and pain ripped through her again. 

“I don't know who that was.” Clarke gasped out. 

She could hear Shaw as he ground his words out towards the Colonel. “I guess you made your point.”

“You might be right. But just in case,” Clarke was able to pull her muscles together just in time to watch the Colonel nod towards McCreary. “hit her again.”

Tears flooded down her face as she writhed and gasped, the headlights of the rover barely noticeable over the pain. The Colonel’s shouts to “Hold, and fire on my command.” were fuzzy in her ears.

\------------

Madi was quick to reach for her gun as they stopped in the clearing. He laid his hand over hers. “Madi, no.” He shook his head. “Take the Rover back. That's the plan. I won't let anything happen to Clarke. I promise.” 

He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead as his eyes caught Murphy’s in the back. He heard the woman calling out for him to “come out with his hands high” and he pulled in a deep breath, the sight of Clarke laying on the ground was threatening to his very core.

He opened the door and raised his hands. “Unarmed. Just want to talk.”

His eyes flickered down to Clarke as she looked up at him, her tears still falling down her face. The woman’s voice pulled his attention away from his wife. “Talk and give me one good reason not to kill you where you stand.”

“How about I give you 283?” He gritted his teeth, in anger. “That's how many of your people are gonna die if you and I can't make a deal.”

He moved in closer, his hand reaching into his pocket to pull out the cup that Murphy had given him, one that was apparently from their ship. He watched as recognition filled the woman’s eyes. “That's far enough. 283 lives for one. She must be pretty important to you.”

“She is.” He nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, what did you think?


	33. Baby Your Perfect, I Guess The Good Lord Heard It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> e was impressed when she didn’t flinch from the intensity of his stare. Either she was made of stone or he must have gotten soft over the last 6 years with just his girls for company. She nodded her head, held out her hand and finally named herself, Diyoza. By the time they reached the room that held Clarke, she had been uncollared and was laying on her side on a bench, he could tell even from her back that her hands had gone around their baby. He could tell she was running her worried hands over her bump.
> 
> He rushed towards her and helped her sit up as she groaned with pain. Her tearful eyes turned up towards him. “Oh, you're really here.” He nodded, trying to keep his own tears at bay as her hands came to rest on his cheeks. “Madi?”
> 
> He smiled, pressing his forehead to hers. “She's safe. She's safe in the woods with the others. Diyoza won't look for them as long as we're in control.”

He watched patiently from where he stood, as the Colonel and her right hand man watched him back, waiting for their man to confirm what he’d told them. His heart prayed that Murphy was sure and had given him an accurate run down of what had happened and what they’d had control of. But for the first time in years he felt the tug of the commanders in his head, confirming the general information Murphy had given him. 

The dark skinned man finally called over the radio “Colonel, it's me. He's telling the truth, somehow they blocked the remote access to the cryo-room and the pods. We can't wake anyone up.”

“Do I have your attention now?” He asked as he watched them shift uncomfortably in their seats.

“I don't know how you got on my ship,” the woman stood up moving towards him. “but if anything happens to any of my people.” Her threat hung, heavy, in the air.

“Nothing will happen to them” He shrugged, fixing his commander’s face firmly in place. “as long as we can make a deal.”

Her right hand man, who was still sitting, started to pick at his nails with the knife in his hand, “I say we kill him now.”

“What do you want?” The woman shot a look at the arrogant man as she spoke to Bellamy.

“We need your help opening a bunker.” He heard Becca’s voice whispering to him.  _ Miners. Murders. Don’t deal. _ He took a breath, ignoring the woman that had been the cause of all his problems and had been suspiciously quiet for the last 6 years. “You're miners, so that shouldn't be a problem for you. If you do that, I'll let your people go. 

“And then what, happily ever after?” She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Then we'll split this valley down the middle.” He shrugged, looking over his shoulder at the others that still milled about. “Whether or not you're happy is on you, but I'd like to think that we can find a way to coexist.”

Her right hand man stood up laughing but her eyes never left his as she considered his offer. “Threatening to kill 283 of my people is one hell of a way to start a friendship.”

He stepped closer into her space. “Let me make this very clear to you. My wife, who you have collared out there, killed 381 in one go. I, myself, killed many more. I don’t need my people in the bunker to wipe yours out. All I need to do is wait, if I don’t give the signal to the person on your ship, your people  _ will _ die. So do we have a deal, or not?”

He was impressed when she didn’t flinch from the intensity of his stare. Either she was made of stone or he must have gotten soft over the last 6 years with just his girls for company. She nodded her head, held out her hand and finally named herself, Diyoza. By the time they reached the room that held Clarke, she had been uncollared and was laying on her side on a bench, he could tell even from her back that her hands had gone around their baby. He could tell she was running her worried hands over her bump.

He rushed towards her and helped her sit up as she groaned with pain. Her tearful eyes turned up towards him. “Oh, you're really here.” He nodded, trying to keep his own tears at bay as her hands came to rest on his cheeks. “Madi?”

He smiled, pressing his forehead to hers. “She's safe. She's safe in the woods with the  _ others _ . Diyoza won't look for them as long as we're in control.”

“They’re all still alive?” He watched as the tears started to track down her face as he nodded. “Murphy, Monty, Raven, Harper, Echo and Emori?”

He nodded again. “Clarke, you saved them all.”

“And now they’re home.” She hugged herself to him tightly, he let his hand drop down to rest against her side, his thumb subtly rubbed over the side of her bump. She pulled back for a moment. “Wait. Why'd she release me?”

“We made a deal.” He smiled, pressed his lips lightly to her own as he helped her to stand. “She agreed to open the bunker.”

\------------

Clarke watched as her husband put a radio to his lips. “Raven, can you hear me? Come in.”

“Bellamy?” She could hear the choked sound of tears in her friend's voice, emotion shaking it. “Tell me everyone's OK.”

The smile on his face was effervescent, “Everyone's OK. We reached a deal with the people from that ship and by the way, the lasercom is an open line, so they can hear every word we say.”

“Nice to meet you.” She heard the sweet voice of Harper come across the radio. “We're not bad people.” 

Bellamy shook his head slightly but his smile still stayed. “Anyway, they know the rules, but just to be safe, Colonel Diyoza, here they are again. If anyone tries to get around your security, you pull the plug. If anyone does anything that wasn't agreed upon, you pull the plug, and if you don't hear from me every hour on the hour, you pull the plug. And Raven, lock it down, everything, you understand? Because if anyone tries to circumvent our agreement then, you pull the plug”

“Is that all?” She heard Raven snort, pulling a quick laugh from both of them. 

“No. That's not all.” He shook his head even though she couldn't see them. “Someone wants to say hello.”

He handed her the radio. “Raven, Harper, it's really good to hear your voices.”

“Clarke?” The tears thickened, Raven’s voice. “I don't believe it.”

Clarke leaned into her husband’s chest, her own tears coursing quickly down her face. “Hey, you guys just be careful up there, okay? Just keep breathing until we get you back, okay?” She wiped at the tears, sniffling. 

“We'll talk more once all this is over.” Harper responded, her voice was tear heavy as well. 

“I want to hear everything.” Clarke’s voice was just as whisper as she looked up at her husband. His hand ran soothingly up and down her back as he smiled down at her. 

“Okay, but first,” Raven choked on her tears. “Thank you for saving our lives.”

“I miss you both.” Was all that she thought to say. 

Bellamy gently pulled the radio from her hands as the engines underneath them started up. “We’ve got to go. Raven, stay safe. We'll talk soon.”

“Yeah,” She snorted. “Every hour on the hour.”

He clipped the radio to his pants, his arms coming back around her waist as he pressed his forehead to hers. She pushed up on her toes to run her nose along his. “Thank you. I’ve missed them so much. Thank you for making that time for us.” 

The ship rocked them as it lifted off, almost taking them off their feet. He smiled gently as he steadied them. “You’re welcome” He pressed his lips to hers softly. “Now, let's go get our family.”

\------------

He watched with bated breath as the ship tore apart the tower that was still toppled over the bunker, his wife’s hand was clammy in his. The work that they had accomplished over the last 6 years was put to shame in minutes as rubble was reduced to nothing more than dust in the air. 

The hole that was opened was barely wide enough to get more than 3 people out at a time and when he peered over there were no stairs to be seen, he turned quickly to Diyoza about to pose the question of how to get them out when their ropes were unrolled and she held up some harnesses with her eyebrows raised. 

He nodded to her as they walked closer, McCreary helped him put the harness on, but he stopped him before he could touch Clarke again and helped her into the harness, trying to keep the pressure off their baby. 

“Ready to go?” Diyoza asked as they hooked onto the ropes.

He nodded and they started to lower into the bunker. Before long he was looking around at a bloody floor, Octavia and Indra were standing within the open space, looking thin but not unhealthy. Tears filled his eyes as Octavia flew into his arms. “I knew you'd come. I  _ knew _ you'd come.” He heard her whisper as he rocked her. 

He nodded as he pressed his cheek to hers. “Of course I did, where is Lincoln?”

She nodded her head to the stairs where all his people were standing, Lincoln smiled widely at him as he called out “Heda!”. The others around Lincoln picked up on the word and started to crowd the fence that surrounded the stairs, chanting for him. He pulled back from Octavia as he held his hands up to the cry of his people. He watched from the corner of his eye as Octavia launched herself at Clarke, Diyoza and McCreary looking wary as they descended into the hole. 

\------------

Octavia’s arms were strong around Clarke as she hugged her but her voice quiet as she pressed her lips to her ear. “I heard you.  _ We _ heard you.”

Clarke felt tears well in her eyes. “On the radio?” When Octavia nodded, the tears rolled down her cheeks and she felt Octavia’s as they wet her shoulder. “Everyday? All of our calls?”

Octavia shook her head. “Not all of them, but enough.” She pulled back her hands coming to rest on Clarke’s belly, her eyes saddened. 

Clarke’s eyes cut to Diyoza as she pulled her sister back into her embrace. “This one still seems okay. We have much to talk about, but later. There are ears that don’t need to hear them and your brother will need time to find the words.” 

“Who are they?” Octavia asked as she pulled away for the second time, her hands finding Clarke’s. 

The movement beyond Octavia’s shoulder had her eyes cutting up to the still stern looking general, Indra, who if Clarke didn’t know better, would say was crying as she held Bellamy to her body. Lincoln’s warm presence moved towards them as he watched his aunt with Bellamy. Her eyes met his kind face as she finally answered Octavia. “We're here to rescue you, but I don’t trust them.” She lifted Octavia’s hands to the welts at her throat.

“Do you understand what I mean?” Octavia and Lincoln nodded. “I think it would be wise to bring out our warriors first, because they are the strongest and will be able to  _ help _ get the rest of our people out, yes?”

Diyoza moved in closer to them and Octavia turned her sharp eyes to the woman. “Why are you armed?”

Bellamy walked over, his general flanking him. “O, it's okay.” He stared at his sister, their conversation silent for a moment. “We have an  _ understanding _ .”

Clarke leaned into his side for a moment before she noticed Kane entering the room. “Before we get to that, where's my mom?”

“I'll take her to her mother.” Indra said, and Clarke could feel her steel eyes on her back as she shared a brief hug with Kane. 

“So I take it you're his sister.” Clarke turned back around at the sound of Diyoza’s words.

She watched Bellamy introduce the two very dangerous women. Octavia’s eyes narrowed at the woman at the word colonel, but the unflappable woman just shrugged at the warrior’s question. 

“Okay, so how do we do this?” Bellamy asked as he met Clarke’s eyes and she could read the nervous question in them. She offered him soft eyes and she watched him relax infinitesimally. 

“Two at a time.” Diyoza said to him before raising her voice to the people around them “Why don't you people get your things and we'll get started as soon as we're ready topside?” She turned her eyes back on her sister-in-law. “Exactly how many people should we be prepping for extraction?”

“1,200.” Bellamy offered before being quickly cut off by his sister shaking her head. 

“814.” Clarke cut her eyes to Octavia in question as Diyoza called up to the surface letting them know how many people they were going to be bringing up. 

Indra called over to Clarke before gently grabbing her arm as she led her towards the door. She turned her eyes quickly to Bellamy as he watched her leave the room, his worry was heavy on his face. The last thing she saw before the door closed was Octavia reaching for her brother’s hand.

“Thank you.” Indra’s steady voice said, surprising her enough to pull Clarke’s eyes off the door and onto the usually quiet general. 

“Indra?”

Indra sighed, stopping as she turned to face Clarke. “Thank you, Wanheda for keeping Heda alive. I know that it was not easy for you both. We heard enough to know of some of your struggles. I hope you don’t mind that we recorded some and played them to our people to keep their hopes up that we would one day reach the surface. We heard you digging above us sometimes but your words brought more hope than the sound of your digging.” 

Clarke was floored by that, so much so that she couldn’t pull any words out of her brain. Before she could scramble her words, Indra’s hands reached out and rested gently on her bump, hands caressing her stomach for a moment almost as in surprise. “We didn’t share your losses. We thought it would be too much for our people who had too little hope otherwise. Though this is news we did not know off before now and I,” she paused, squaring her shoulders. “I am happy for you and Heda.”

Clarke stared at the woman for a moment, her own hands coming up to rest on Indra’s. “Thank you. So far this is the longest we’ve kept one in here, but there is still so much that could go wrong, that has gone wrong. And it's okay, if I could offer any hope from my words I’m happy to share them. If I had known, I would have tried to stay more positive so you had more words to share.” 

Indra’s hands slipped out from under her fingers before coming up to rest on Clarke’s cheeks. “No child, no matter how small or unformed, should be lost before it is known by its parents and you both have lost much. Do not worry about sharing your grief how you could. What matters is that you didn’t let your losses tear you apart or consume you. Your little foundling is very lucky to have you.”    
  
Clarke felt tears well in her eyes and Indra’s quick fingers caught them as they escaped over to her cheeks. “Thank you, but I think we were the lucky ones.” She choked out. 

Indra nodded, “Now wipe your tears and dry your eyes. It would not due for our people to see the mighty Wanheda cry.” 

She laughed before wiping her eyes and nodded at Indra when the woman motioned for them to continue down the hallway. The sight of the wasted woman that was her mother shocked her, as did the locked and guarded room that she found her mother in. Indra’s eyes refused to meet hers as Clarke turned to question her. 

She huffed out a breath before turning back to her mother. “Mom?” At the sound of her voice, Abby’s head raised up to look at her, “Hi, Mom.”

Abby scrambled to her feet, clumsily. “Clarke?” She rushed to Clarke, her hands sweeping at her hair at the sides of her face, Abby’s eyes unfocused as they roamed her face.“How? How? When? When did -”

Indra’s voice cut off Abby. “We should move, now.”

Clarke nodded, her arms coming around her frail mother. “Everything's gonna be okay but first, we have to get you out of here. Come on.”

“Where is Marcus?” Abby asked, her hands shaky as she walked. 

“We are going to the ground” Indra said, eyeing Abby with some distrust. “And he will be there.” 

\------------

Bellamy was glad that Miller and Indra were next up after him and Clarke and Octavia, it helped him relax now that there were other eyes on this enemy, his hand reaching out to help Miller over the lip of the opening. “Come on.”

Miller grinned at him as he thanked him. Bellamy watched Miller’s eyes dart towards his wife as Bellamy told him it was good to see him. Miller’s distraction made him laugh as he urged him to go on. Miller’s eyes darted to his quickly with a sly smile on his face before he moved quickly over to Clarke, scooping her up and spinning her around. Miller’s hands fell to his wife’s hips as he set her down. Miller’s eyes widening as he felt the bump at her waist. The smile as Clarke settled her hands over his nodding, put a smile on his own face. 

Octavia pulled him aside, he heard Diyoza saying something about the deal not including weapons as they passed her. Octavia’s eyes flicked up to his with a sly smile. His own lips twitched up as he looked up at her. “I need to talk to you in private.” She raised her eyebrow at him but nodded. “Give me a second, then follow me.”

He moved off towards an old building that still looked semi-intact and he barely had time to turn around before his sister was standing right in front of him, bouncing on her toes like she had done when she was just a small child. 

He raised his eyebrow at her. “Tell me about the fighting pit. How did that happen? Because it looks to me like someone read Ovid a few too many times.”

She laughed. “6 years is a long time but I promise we can discuss it.”

“We have a lot to talk about, O.” He tried to give her a stern look but he was too happy to have her back in front of him. 

“We do,” She agreed, her own grin turning up her lips for a moment before she turned serious again. “Just not right now. I don't trust these people, Bell. Who are they? Where'd they come from? Why are they helping us?”

“I don't trust them either.” He agreed. “But I need you to trust me. We have leverage, we have their people up in space, held hostage.”

She grinned up at him wickedly. “I like this plan Bellamy.” 

He nodded. “It’s as good a plan as any but there is still a lot of risk, we need to be on alert. I need you and your best warriors to keep your eyes on them, I still don’t trust them.”

He dove in on a quick review of the moving parts they had right now and the most pertinent information that needed to be shared. It had him thrilled to have to run down plans with his people once again. It also seemed the more danger they were in the louder the commanders were in his head. 

“If you're right and that valley's the only survivable place,” Octavia said. “Then we need to maintain that valley in our possession.” 

“I agree, however, the commanders have learned from the last time we tried to fight sky people, if they are truly about to follow our peace agreement, I’m going to let them until they give me a reason to otherwise.” 

  
The sound of a blast cut off any further conversation. Octavia moved to the open space that used to house a door. “What the hell was that?

“I know what that was. Come on, they have some explaining to do.” He gritted his teeth as he pulled the radio from his belt. “Raven, lock it down. Everything. You hear?” 

“Copy that Bellamy. Someone is trying to access the vents and shut us out but I’m on it. You say the word and we will flip the lever.”

By the time they rounded the area the blast had come from one of the new sky people had the sonic blaster, threatening the remainder of his people, some who’d drawn their swords. The man’s words were mocking as he swung the blaster wildly. “Sorry about your pretty fountain but that was only half power. I know most of you are armed. If anyone moves for a weap-”

The sound of a gunshot rang out, cutting off the outraged man as he crumpled to the earth. His eyes dragged up from the dead man to see his wife with her arm outstretched, gun in hand. Diyoza’s eyes cut over to Clarke’s for a moment her eyebrow raised, impressed with his wife. 

“What the hell are you doing? One call from me and your people are dead.” He gritted out his eyes flicking between Clarke and Diyoza. 

Diyoza looked smug. “Make your call.”

“Raven, come in. You read me?” He heard the crackle of the radio silence for a moment. 

It took longer than he would have liked but Harper’s voice clicked over the speaker, “Bellamy, we are a little busy here, looks like someone is trying to hack into the door lock system. Looks like they are trying to vent the ship.” 

“The deal's off.” Diyoza’s face showed the first flicker of fear as he moved in closer to her. “but

nobody has to get hurt.”

The sound of feet running towards them pulled his attention for long enough for Diyoza’s hand to clamp around Clarke’s, disarm her and yank her towards her body, pressing a gun to Clarke’s waist. His heart leapt into his throat as he felt the press of his people at his back. His eyes stayed glued to the gun pointed at his unborn child. He held up his hand to stop any further movement. 

“Hold your fire.” Diyoza said to her people, a smug smile on her face. “Because my guy can keep your guy busy long enough for me to wipe out you and your whole army.” 

“Let her go.” He gritted out.

Diyoza moved her gun, caressing Clarke’s neck, her eyes trained on his face. “Where's your mother?”

“She's our doctor.” Octavia called out, stepping up to Bellamy’s side. “You can't have her.”

He cut his eyes to Octavia, his words hissed through his teeth. “She has my wife and unborn child.”

McCreary stepped forward picking up the blaster that had fallen from the dead man’s hands, pointing it at Bellamy. “She asked you a question. Where is the doctor?” Bellamy stepped slightly in front of his sister as McCreary swung the blaster back in their direction. A wicked smile pulled at his lip as he watched Bellamy shift. “That's right. You're not so tough now, are you?”

“No!” A voice he hadn’t heard in years yelled out, Diyoza calling out to her men to hold still. Abby pushed through the crowd, Kane keeping pace just behind her. “I'm right here. Don't shoot. We'll come without a fight.”

“Abby?” Octavia breathed at his back. 

Diyoza raised an eyebrow, her gun still running along his wife’s neck “We?”

“The two of us.” Abby nodded, her thin face, determined. “Those are my terms.”

“I see where your daughter gets it from. Take them both.” Diyoza watched as her men roughly grabbed Abby and Kane. 

He could see the tears starting to well in Clarke’s eyes as she called out to her mother. “Mom, what are you doing?”

Abby called back that she loved her as the men loaded them on ship, Diyoza shoving Clarke forward as she stepped on the ramp next to McCreary. Her voice rose above the din of engines starting. “Okay then, here are my terms. The valley is ours. Any attempt to get there will be met by overwhelming force. As long as you stay here, we won't have a problem. Is that a problem?”

“Diyoza, are you stupid? It won’t take long for Raven to gain full control of your ship again and even less time for her to pull the lever, killing all your people.” He moved closer, his feet moving quickly towards Clarke. 

Diyoza smirked at him. “You have faith in your man, I have faith in mine.” 

He scooped up Clarke, helping her settle onto her feet as the doors to the ship closed and they took off toward their home. Her worried face turned up towards him. “What do we do now?”

“Now we go to war.” He turned them around, facing his people, raising his voice. “Now we go to war! We get our valley back! But first we get the rest of our people out of the bunker. I need some people setting up temporary space to sleep, preparing food for tonight, etc. while we come up with a plan of action.”

The cheers rose up from their people as they started to chant his and Clarke’s titles. He sent people off on their tasks before he tugged his wife over to the building him and Octavia had occupied earlier. He pulled Clarke in tight to his chest once they were out of sight. “I was so scared, Clarke. So,  _ so _ scared.” 

Tears poured from her eyes as she sobbed against his chest, for a moment he wasn’t sure she was going to talk, her lips pressed against his sternum as they were. “I was too. What if this war takes this baby from us?” She lifted her head to look at him. “What if it takes our little girl from us?”

He pressed his lips to hers gently as his own tears started to fall from his eyes, his hands moving to rest over their growing child, a gentle fluttering of movement against his hand. “I won’t let that happen, Clarke.” 

“You can’t guarantee that.” She pressed her lips to his, before resting her forehead against his, her hands rising to his cheeks. “I can’t lose this baby, I can’t lose our little girl. Bellamy, I can’t lose anymore babies.”

“No, Clarke. We won’t.” His thumbs brushed over her stomach gently. “I will do everything we can to keep this baby safe, keep you and Madi safe. I know you're scared but we need to come up with a plan together. To get back to Eden. Back to our little girl.”

She nodded, running her nose along his. “Okay, my Heda. Let’s go get our baby back.”

\------------

Clarke held Bellamy’s hand as they walked back out to their people, tents were going up and more people were on the ground than before. She was overwhelmed with the sheer volume of people that milled about. People reaching out and softly calling out to them as they passed. She tried to stay focused and ignore the voices as they made their way towards where they’d last seen Octavia, Lincoln and Indra. 

The sound of a familiar voice yelling her name turned her head just in time to see Wells’ beaming face before he collided with her. “Wells!” She could feel the tears welling for the millionth time, it seemed, that day as she wrapped her arms around her friend. “Oh Wells, it's so good to see you.”

He pulled back, brushing her hair from her face. “It’s so good to see you. Where is everyone one else? Raven? Murphy?”

“They are safe, for now. There is a lot to go over, come to the war council and we will give a run down of what we know.” She pulled out of his arms, drinking in his face. “It’s so good to see you Wells.”

“War? Clarke?” He looked at her confused. “I don’t understand. We just got back to the ground.” 

Bellamy interrupted before she could begin to explain, grabbing her hand again. “We are going to war, Wells. We have a lot to discuss and I’d rather do that once. Please join us in the war council and we will discuss it there.”

Wells looked stunned as he stepped back. “Yeah, yeah, okay. Of - of course. When, where?” 

She looked up at him. “Give us an hour to wrangle everyone up and we will meet in the house that’s still standing at the north west corner from here.”

He nodded as Bellamy tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the others. They found Octavia and Lincoln supervising people coming up from the bunker, Indra and Miller nowhere to be seen. 

Bellamy looked at her for a moment squeezing their laced fingers before he turned back to them.

“Octavia, we need to convene a war council. Get your strategists and anyone else that might be useful to this conversation and have them meet where we met before, within the hour.”

“We have learned a lot about this world in the last 6 years and we need to make sure our people are prepared.” Clarke supplied when Bellamy paused. 

Both of them nodded before taking off in different directions, handing their current task off to others. “Clarke, we should head back towards the house to wait for people to start arriving.”

She nodded and they turned back the way they’d come from. She caught the sight of her mother’s former apprentice out of the corner of her eye as they walked and gently extracted her hand from her husband with quick words that let him know she would follow him shortly. He looked over at the medic who was checking on the people injured in the blast before nodding. 

“Don’t be long, Clarke.” He gave her a nervous look. “Bad things seem to happen when we are separated.”

She laughed lightly. “Yes they do. I won’t be long, Bell, I just want to check in with him quickly.”

He nodded. “I love you, Clarke. In case I hadn’t told you that today.”

“You have, but I’ll never say no to a reminder. I love you too, Bellamy. With everything I am.” She smiled gently at him before she turned towards Jackson.

Jackson’s smile was bright when she called his name but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. “We could've used you in the bunker, Clarke.” He said; his tone just as falsely bright as his smile had been.

“You had my mother.” She pressed. “What happened to her?”

He turned away quickly from her questions, moving over to another patient. She let him finish his conversation with the man he was working on before she put her hand on his shoulder, turning him around to look at her. “Jackson, please help me to understand what happened down there.”

He sighed. “I don’t know what to tell you right now Clarke. So much has happened, I just -” 

Miller’s voice calling his name cut him off as they both turned to greet their friend. Miller surprised her when he pressed his lips to the doctor’s. She lifted her eyebrow at him and Miller ducked his head for a moment, a light blush rising on his cheeks. She smiled, “I’m glad you found happiness.”

“Thanks, Clarke.” Miller said, “It looks like you found some happiness too. Must not have been the hardship we all imagined it would be when you were forced to marry the commander of assholes.”

A startled laugh pulled from her lips as she shook her head. “No,” she unzipped her jacket for the first time since before she’d been captured, exposing her small 6-month-along belly. “Not all a hardship.” 

She heard the sharp intake of breath from Jackson. “We didn’t know about this one. Abby, I, we - um, Octavia played us the calls about the other one, the one you lost.” 

“She must have been keeping this one from you for a good reason.” She offered with a shrug, pulling his unconsciously reaching hand to rest on her belly. “She probably wanted to protect you, just in case.”

Miller moved in closer, his own hand reaching out to settle on her belly as his eyes met Jackson’s. “I found out earlier.” Jackson’s mouth dropped open for a moment before he smiled at his partner. 

“Jackson, we need to discuss my mother at some point because I need to know what is wrong with her if we are going to save her and Kane. But you are in luck for now because we are getting ready to sit down and discuss war and if I don’t get back to my husband soon he will come for me. But there is something I would like you to do before we head off to war,” She paused to steady herself, both men’s hands slipping from her belly. “I would like you to do an examination of this baby, an ultrasound if you have the capability. I mean this pregnancy feels different than the last but I need to know if this baby is viable before I go charging off.”

He nodded. “Sure, Clarke. But if the strength of their kicks are anything to go by then that baby will make it.”

“I wish I could take that as a positive sign but the last one seemed strong too but it wasn’t strong enough.” She offered him a sad smile. “I just need to know.”

“Sure, absolutely, come find me after and we will head back into the bunker and take a look.” he nodded. 

“Thanks, Jackson.” She turned her attention to Miller. “I’d like you to come to the war council. Jackson, you are welcome to come as well.”

“We’ll be there, Clarke.” Miller nodded, his hand reaching out to his lover. 

“Okay, perfect.” She pointed out to the meeting house. “We will meet there in less than 30 minutes.”

\------------

He looked around to the faces that filled the room, less than he would have liked against such a smart enemy. It took twice as many to even attempt to wage war on Clarke’s people and the only reason they made peace was because of their feelings towards one another. But their peace took months and hundreds of lives that they couldn’t waste now. They didn’t have the people and their children didn’t have the time. 

He could feel his wife’s frustration at his side as she turned towards the group, her teeth clenching, “You can't just do whatever the hell you want here.” her fingers stabbing at the map on the table. “Which route were you planning on taking? Huh? It's sandstorm season; the wind moves in a predictable path. We've made the trip dozens of times. We can’t just -”

She cut herself off, looking up at him. Indra jumped on the silence, “They don't know we're coming, so all 3 northern passes will be wide open but the village will be fortified.”

“Where's the water source?” The general from Yujleda asked. 

He pointed it out. “Here. Why? What are you thinking?” The general dragged his finger along the map, his eyes turning up towards Bellamy. “We can't take that route.”

“Why? You said the sea is gone.” Indra asked, moving closer to the table. “Is it passable or not?”

“Yes, maybe. But you have to understand,” Clarke paused, taking in a steadying breath. “No one wants to get to that valley more than me. It's our home but that way is too risky.”

“Risky how?” Indra asked. 

“You chose the shortest route which makes sense but the dry seabed is hit by almost constant sandstorms.” He cut in before Clarke could. 

“We have the tents from the second dawn. Sand shouldn't be a problem.” Miller offered. 

He shook his head. “It's not just sand. Some of it crystallized in Praimfaya. I'm talking shards of glass like razor blades. The tents will be torn to shreds and so would we.”

“We can only carry rations for 7 days. The sea route will take 6. The next shortest path adds 50 miles. That's two days if we're lucky.” One of the others in the room argued. “How do we know there won't be sandstorms on the longer routes?”

He sighed running his fingers through his hair. He looked down to Clarke’s face and he could see the conflict on her face. Her desire to get back to Madi lined every crevasse of her face. He turned back to the groups. “We don’t. What’s the status of our supplies here? Guns, warriors, etc.?”

Lincoln’s voice joined in, laying out everything they had and even the most reckless of commanders in his head seemed hesitant to go to war with what they had. Though all of them seemed to agree that doing nothing, given the state of the hydrofarm was not an option either. 

“Raven?” He called out over the radio. The crackling of silence clung heavy on the air. “Raven? Harper?”

He hailed them several more times and he could see his wife’s concern rising with every call that got no answer back. Her eyes begged him to find them a solution. 

“Raven and Harper are in trouble. Madi and the rest of them could be too.” He heard her soft words as she leaned towards him, though it looked like he was the only one based on the way the rest of the group was leaning in, ears turned slightly in their direction.

“Well it looks like we will have no choice but to go with a 6-day hike through sandstorm country.” He said, leaning forward to brace his hands on the table in front of him. “I want everyone to eat and get some sleep tonight, get bags packed and if we can find something more sturdy than the tents let’s pack those too. This trip will be hot but I want everyone to wear the thickest, strongest clothes they have. The sandstorms will offer no mercy to us. We will reconvene as the sun rises and I’d like to be on the way just after.”

Indra issued several more instructions and Clarke’s hand rested over his on the table, pulling his focus to her. She looked exhausted and the bruises on her neck had him worried. Before he could force himself to turn his attention back towards the room it was cleared out, leaving only his wife, his general, his sister and her chosen.

He stood back up to his full height, wrapping his arm around Clarke as he pulled her body close to his. “You guys should go get your rest as well. We have a long few days ahead of us.”

“Heda.” Indra stepped forward, “I think it would be wise for you and Wanheda to be escorted like before, it would do our people well to see us getting back to some sense of normalcy.”

He inclined his head. “Very well, but not too many. It’s been just us for 6 years, this will be an adjustment.”

“Well, then it’s decided.” Octavia said, clapping her hands together once. “You will have supper with us.”

He could feel Clarke’s eyes on his face, he opened his mouth to agree, but Clarke’s voice cut in off. “We would love to, but first Bellamy and I have an appointment with Jackson. He is going to examine the baby.”

He looked down at her face, “We do?”

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had access to a doctor.” She offered as an explanation loud enough for the others to hear before dropping her voice to a whisper. “I have to know for sure that everything is okay.”

He nodded, his hand resting on her shoulder gave her a gentle squeeze. He turned back to his sister. “We will find you after?”

His sister’s eyes were kind as she nodded. 

\------------

Madi eyed the group of her mother’s friends, Echo had taken off hours ago, as the sun had started to rise. The rest of them were standing around talking quietly, their eyes darting to her every so often, but they weren’t looking now. 

She slipped away, threading through the trees quietly back towards their home. She just hoped to catch a glimpse of her parents, to know that she wasn’t alone in the world once again. She eased around the back of the village, up into one of her hiding spots.

The stone-faced woman with the scar on her throat; the lady that had her parents was just coming out of the meeting place. The music was loud until the woman turned it down, raising her voice. “You're not safe. There's an army on the march toward us right now. An army who's willing to fight to the death for this miraculous place that you've been in for two hours and are already desecrating. I said I'd get you home, and I did. It may not be the home that we expected, but we're here and we're free. You have one day to get used to your new reality. We start your training in the morning. For God's sake, play something with a beat.”

She moved to lean back against the tree as a new song was turned up. The army must be her parents coming for her and the knowledge almost made her cry. She watched the people in the camp mill about and she wondered if this is what her mother’s people had been like when they first came down to earth, but not her mother. Her mother was a busy body and she missed her. 

She curled against the tree as she felt a few tears leak from her eyes. Sniffling she climbed down from the tree and made her way back to her mother’s friends. She was going to help her parents any way she could. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, let me know what you think.


End file.
